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Day 6 Assignment
Reply to Post Your Assignment.
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35 Replies
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Jeff’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned is… keep it simple and intriguing.
THE BEST PAINKILLER
Genre: Crime-drama Thriller
Logline:
After a doctor is swindled by a boat broker, he endangers himself and his family when he confronts criminals who stole money intended for his grandson’s life-saving treatment.
Synopsis (Draft 1):
Would you kill to save a loved one? Would a doctor?
After learning his grandson needs expensive and experimental cancer treatment, a doctor unwittingly lists his heirloom boat with a drug-smuggling swindler.
The swindler’s most recent drug deal blows up and he’s on the edge of bankruptcy. Desperate, and fully aware that a child’s life is at stake, the swindler steals the needed money.
Bad plan. The doctor is an anesthesiologist, renowned as the best pain killer.
Inspired by a true story, nobody comes out a winner.
Hooks:
· Unique villain seems charming, funny, relatable, but he smuggles, steals and is a chronic liar.
· Unique hero is an anesthesiologist renowned as the best pain killer. Expert in his interior world, unwitting to the outside world of crime and filth. He & his wife are forced to care for their daughter’s baby due to her drug abuse.
· Opening Scene. Introduces dirty mysterious city, the hero in three different hospital situations – a funny moment, a life & death crisis, and the inciting incident of his grandson’s cancer.
· Turning Points. The villain hatches his plan to obtain a no-liens letter to steal money from the hero that was intended for the grandson’s treatment. The villain is killed, as are others loosely related. Hero’s wife is knifed and in a coma. Hero’s daughter ODs.
· Emotional Dilemma. Grandson’s cancer: don’t pay for treatment, he’ll die. Daughter’s drug problem: fix it or she’ll die. Villain’s finances: steal/win money or he’ll be ruined. Hero learns he’ll never get his money from villain—what to do? Hero’s wife is knifed and they may lose custody of their grandson. Estranged father wants to help pay for cancer treatments, but doesn’t have the funds.
· Major Twists. Smuggle goes south. Villain is lousy with money. Hero kills twice. Hero’s daughter dies. Hero’s wife is knifed. Estranged father kills twice.
· Reversals. Hero’s wife lives. Estranged father gives hero money.
· Character Betrayals. Villain betrays/lies to everyone. Daughter doesn’t commit to rehab.
· Big Surprises. Grandson’s cancer. Wife knifed. Daughter dies. Hero kills. Estranged father kills and gives money.
Other things:
· Exterior city is its own oozing, scummy character, contrasted with the aseptic interior world of the hospital and hero’s house.
· Symbolism: cigarettes, drugs, hawk feathers, clear water (Clearwater, the original title), etc.
· Parallels: Hero and sub-hero both kill twice. Connecting bonds: daughter and grandson.
· Diverse cast and parts, including simple voice over, cameo, one scene, minor oddball characters.
· Reminds some readers of the movie Fargo and the writings of Elmore Leonard.
· Unique Canadian location/perspective.
· Opportunities to use unique music.
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Concise and clear. I think you nailed it.
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John Alen’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of having hooks in your story that can be used for marketing purposes.
Hooks
1. My villain, Octavia Velasco, is a female kingpin who is charming and civilized but also psychotic and ruthless.
2. The opening scene pays off with Octavia blowing up a plane loaded with MDMA causing white powder to fall from the sky like snow.
3. Octavia’s competitors retaliate to the explosion by kidnapping Maria, her 22 year old daughter.
4. My hero, Chris Rainey, is a former cop who once operated outside the law and is now in prison. Out of desperation, the authorities turn to him for help.
5. After being rescued by Rainey, Maria decides to betray her mother’s trust.
6. By the time Maria and Rainey have gathered evidence against her, Octavia learns of their betrayal, breaking her heart and bringing on her greatest wrath.
7. Octavia sets a plan in motion to detonate a truck full of explosives in the middle of the city.
First Draft
Octavia Velasco is a woman of charm and grace who is also psychotic and ruthless. She shows just how far she’ll go against her competitors when she blows up a plane loaded with MDMA causing white powder to fall from the sky like snow. Her competitors retaliate by targeting Maria, Octavia’s feisty adult daughter, kidnapping her off the street in broad daylight.
With an all-out drug war looming, the authorities turn in desperation to Chris Rainey, a former corrupt cop now doing time, and offer him his freedom if he can use his connection with Octavia to stop her reign of terror. Rainey agrees and reconnects with Octavia who assigns him the task of rescuing Maria. But upon rescuing her, Maria tells Rainey that she wants her mother stopped. They agree to betray Octavia’s confidence.
But by the time they’ve gathered evidence against her Octavia learns of the betrayal bringing down her greatest wrath yet. As the authorities begin closing in on her, she has her henchmen torture Rainey and sets a plan in motion to detonate a truck full of explosives in the middle of the city. With Rainey appearing done for, Octavia sets out to wreak the most pandemonium she can.
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Again, I have not received today’s assignments.
Please fix.
Stephen
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Hi Stephen,
This is Liz, a fellow classmate. Unless you have a different way to get into the class than I do, you should be able to go to the top of the page, and instead of clicking Forums, click Your Screenwriting Classes. Once in this class, you should be able to click on Lesson six on the left hand side of the screen.
I was not notified by email of this section either, but it is available. Hope that helps.
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You’re a love, Liz.
I have been enlightened.
Thanx.
Steve
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Hi Liz,
They have failed to send me the Day 7 class.
Done it again!
Can you forward the class to me at sfmvm2@gmail.com — PLEASE.
I’ll bitch at them one more time but the lesson won’t be sent now until tomorrow or the next day by the time they respond.
Steve
XOXO
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I didn’t get the day seven class either, but not finished with day six. If you mark day six as complete, day seven should come available to you and you should be able to open the class on the left side of the screen. If that doesn’t work for you, go into the forum for day seven and ask someone who has already finished the assignment to forward the info to you.
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Hi Liz,
I’m as dense as you are brilliant!
But with your faithful coaching, I’ve conquered the Gordian knot of getting the assignments.
Thank you. Now I’ll not feel obliged to scold the office when they fail to deliver the mail.
Steve
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No problem. On a side note, I thought I didn’t get the emails either (maybe we have the same IQ, LOL), but they came from ScreenwritingU. Don’t know how I missed them. Just got lesson seven today, which means since I’m on lesson eight, I can stop rushing through everything. Whew!
Take care,
Liz
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Paul’s Synopsis Hooks
5. What I learned from this assignment is that this is definitely the way to go. Create your hooks, then write the script. This assignment really got me thinking from the point of view of hooks: what will make my script interesting to the audience at every turn. What I was not sure of was whether the synopsis should follow the example of the Zombieland synopsis, i.e. Hook/Paragraph/Hook/Paragraph/Final Hook. Also, my synopsis might be too long.
3. Hooks
Title: Scarred for Life
1. Terrorists killed her 3 best friends and she’s in no mood to forgive.
2. The protagonist, Cindy, has done 2 tours of duty in Afghanistan where an IED killed three of her buddies and left her scarred for life.
3. Cindy takes a cruise in the Mediterranean for R&R and to put her horrendous experience behind her. But other passengers scorn and avoid her because of her scarred face and body. They are not interested in the sacrifice she made to defend their freedoms.
4. She locks herself up in her cabin and is there when terrorists seize the ship off the coast of Libya and immediately execute over 100 passengers. The survival of the remaining 600 will depend on her.
5. She uses her battlefield skills to take out the terrorists one by one. She is helped in this by two other war vets amongst the passengers.
6. But her task is made harder when it turns out that the 2nd Mate is part of the terrorist plot.
7. Using one of the women who was sleeping with the 2nd Mate as bait, they capture him and line him up with the two remaining terrorists.
8. Cindy is ready to execute all three as memories of the death of her three friends go through her head. She asks the passengers if anyone is willing to do the dirty work. There are no volunteers. She shoots them one by one and has their bodies thrown overboard to cheers from all the passengers.
9. When the ship docks in Spain the surviving passengers disembark while Spanish police come on board to arrest Cindy: she has violated the human rights of the terrorists. Cindy has just returned from the real world to a fantasy world.
4. Synopsis.
Terrorists killed her three best friends and she is in no mood to forgive.
Cindy has just returned from her final tour of duty in Afghanistan with horrendous scars on her face and body caused by an IED explosion that killed three of her best buddies. In an attempt to forget the hell she has just been through, she goes on a Mediterranean cruise. Horrified by her scars, other passenger scorn her. She retreats to her cabin and that is where she is when terrorists seize the vessel and immediately execute over 100 passengers.
The survival of the remaining passengers now depends on the battle-field skills of the woman they scorned.
Cindy emerges from her cabin to take on the terrorists. One by one, and with the help of two other war vets amongst the passengers, she takes out the terrorists. The job is made harder when they discover the 2nd Mate is part of the terrorist plot. But he ends up bound and gagged alongside the final two terrorists. Cindy calls out to the passengers for someone ready to do the dirty work. No volunteers step forward. Recalling the death of her best friends, Cindy pulls the trigger and orders their bodies thrown overboard. The passengers cheer. When the boat docks in Spain, the surviving passengers get off. But as the bodies of those killed by the terrorists are being taken down the gangway, Spanish police come on board to arrest Cindy: she is charged with violating the human rights of the terrorists.
Cindy has returned from the real world and entered a fantasy world.
END
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Debbie’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned is that you don’t have to tell the entire story to have a great synopsis.
My Hooks:
Title: Invasive Species
Unique Hi Concept: When an archaeologist becomes impregnated by alien sperm, she loses her wife, her family, and her identity as she fights the invasion of not only her womb but of the earth.
Timely: People in horror are looking for the next Rosemary’s Baby.
Ultimate: Reptilians and family alike hunting Abby’s child.
Similarity to box office success: Rosemary’s Baby meets Aliens
Great role for a bankable actor
Abby bad-ass archaeologist/warrior against reptilian invasion
January professor of mythology and a powerful witch.
Grandmother: Badass with a bow, sexy competent woman
Renee Doctor/Sister/Warrior
My Synopsis
Title: INVASIVE SPECIES
Written by Deborah Daughetee
Genre: Horror
FORMAT: 1-hour Television Horror
What if a career-making discovery signals an alien invasion?
Abigail Resnik and her sister, Renee, have been raised by their grandmother to be warriors in the case of a Reptilian invasion. They never really believed in the stories, but when Abby uncovers a reptilian skeleton, the pair return home to prepare.
But not before Abby becomes impregnated with alien sperm.
Abby’s wife Cathy brings home a fertility statue for luck in Cathy’s insemination. But something emerges out of the statue and impregnates Abby instead. While there, January, a powerful witch and Abby’s best friend, pulls Abby aside and shows her a prophecy about the equivalent of a Reptilian Messiah, a hybrid who will release a conquering hoard to take over the earth and enslave humans.
Abby suddenly realizes that the prophesied child is growing in her womb.
Now Abby is faced with the decision of whether to protect or destroy the child. The decision is taken from her once again by her wife, Cathy when she drugs Abby and holds her until the child has come to term. January, however, along with detective Paul, rescues Abby just in time for her to give birth. Looking at her child’s face, Abby cannot destroy her. She flees with January and Paul, and the hunt begins.
Now Abby must protect her child not only from the Reptilian invaders but from her family as well.
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Barry’s Synopsis and Hooks for A Taste of Cold Steel
1) What I learned doing this assignment is to recognize there must be continuity in focusing and integrating the COM and MIT Hooks in my screenplay, logline and synopsis.
2) Title: A Taste of Cold Steel.
3) Genre: Crime-drama.
4) Logline: When a Chicago gangster’s estranged son attempts to reunite with his brother, it threatens the organization; he must die. In confronting his father, a split second changes his son’s life: his father and brother die and the son takes over the organization.
5) Synopsis: Sonny hasn’t seen his older brother since their mother told him to watch over Sonny; she then took a photo of them together. Fifteen years later, Sonny carries the emotional scar of losing his brother and shoots dope to ease the pain.
Sonny ignores his mother’s warnings and searches for his brother. His efforts to reunite with his brother don’t go unnoticed by his father. Sonny is wrongly convicted of murder and imprisoned where he’s targeted for death by his brother. He survives only because his brother shanks him too quickly. Unable to make his brother understand, Sonny cooperates with the prosecutor; his brother is indicted for attempted murder, but Sonny will not testify at trial.
Outside the courtroom Sonny confronts his brother, who fails to recognize him. and threatens Sonny. Until Sonny speaks. His brother recognizes Sonny’s speech defect, blinks and tears well up in his eyes. Sonny nervously hands his brother the tattered photo of them as youngsters. His brother looks at the photo; his eyes soften and he opens his arms to Sonny. With an outpouring of emotion Sonny goes to his brother. They embrace, then they talk.
They plan a meeting with Sonny’s father in a parking lot of a brothel. Sonny’s pursuit of his brother has forced his mother to the meeting. During a frenzied, emotionally chaotic confrontation, Sonny learns that his mother is, in fact, his aunt and that his father raped his mother, who committed suicide.
Sonny’s brother, Rico, listens intently. Then admits that he just killed his real father, a judge, inside the brothel minutes earlier. Unaware how his true mother died, and knowing that he was used to kill Sonny, his brother kills their aunt, shoots Sonny’s father and commits suicide by cop.
The ranking cop at the scene kills Sonny’s brother, then warns Sonny that he has to take over the organization.
6) COM and MIT Hooks:
a) COM HOOKS:
Ultimate: The best and worst killers, junkies, convicts and compromised or outright morally bankrupt cops and judges
Wide audience appeal: People are intrigued by crime and the inter-workings of the criminal justice system, including cops, judges and convicts.
b) MIT HOOKS:
Unique villain and hero: The villain is Sonny’s father using Sonny’s brother to kill him to protect the organization.
Major hook of opening scene: Sonny’s mother warns Sonny’s brother to watch over Sonny. He fails to. The mother takes a photo of them with arms around each other, then Sonny’s brother disappears for fifteen years.
Emotional dilemma: Sonny is unable to live without his brother. He is an emotional wreck and becomes a junkie to ease his pain.
Sonny finally defies his mother and engenders his father’s anger, that causes him to be convicted and sent to prison where he is nearly killed by his brother. When Sonny and his brother finally reconcile, Sonny confronts his father and learns that his mother is his aunt, that his father raped his mother and that his mother killed herself.
Character betrayals: Sonny’s aunt has raised him and told him she was his mother. He finds out that he is the result of his mother being raped and that his mother did not leave the family but killed herself.
7) Other things:
The storyline occurs in Chicago and prison. It is gritty, foreboding and has cinematic flavor of The French Connection and Thief. -
Stephen Maynard – Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is reverse engineering should be a major course of study in colleges and universities. It’s a beautiful method for examining a great product to see how it ticks and creating one. All it takes is brains and creativity. Oh, woe is me!
Title: PANDORA’S OTHER BOX
Writer: Stephen F Maynard
Genre: Horror / Love Story
Synopsis First Draft
The lunatic riding the orca and cutting away fishing net in a hurricane at sea is Jack Maddox. That’s what environmental whackoes do when they find an animal in distress. Gina, Jack’s first mate, and his looser childhood friend, Conrad Stroker operate Jack’s boat and pick him up after the orca is freed.
Back home in the small coastal California college town of NEWPORT BAY, when Conrad is rejected by a campus beauty, he launches a mission for revenge that starts with murdering his biology professors to steal genetically engineered WORMS that hold extraordinary powers to change old women into young girls.
He tests one of his worms on the Newport Bay College girl that rejected him and while her youth and beauty are unaffected, the worm renders her obedient and submissive. What could be better than that?
Conrad goes into business selling his “fountain of youth worms” to old hags. They must first surrender their fortunes and there are side effects. Hags will grow LAMPREY MOUTHES to suck the brains out through the eyes of their husbands before they get young and beautiful. Teenage girls with brains! What could go wrong?
When decrepit attorney ANN HOWE, with one foot in the grave and her cadaver husband partner at the law firm Dewey Fukkum and Howe discover Conrad’s property, they take the venture public. Howe gets wormed for the product test and promptly sucks out Dewey’s brains.
Doctor Pandora’s Magic Makeover hits the stock exchange with a bang and Conrad’s in the money. Now rich and powerful and the possessor of compliant young women, including attorney Howe, who will do his bidding, our villain’s wildest dreams are realized.
But Conrad is not satisfied, he betrays his best and only friend, Jack, because he covets and lusts after Gina and he’s envious of Jack’s accomplishments.
Conrad kidnaps Gina and is about to violate her when Jack comes to the rescue.
No match for Jack, Conrad uses a stolen wildlife Taser to disable him.
Conrad’s transformational journey ends when after defining the INHUMANE SELFISH SCOUNDREL, he begins to weigh the pain and suffering he has inflicted on others. He confesses to his old friends that he has sinned, that he is beyond redemption, and takes his life.
The last scene is played out on a calm sea when Jack and Gina head the boat out on a moonlight cruise to celebrate the winners of the College’s cornhole contest.
But they must make a fast getaway when a passenger chums with worms taken from Conrad’s worm farm and the boat is attacked by the orca’s calf bearing a GIGANTIC LAMPREY MOUTH.
List of hooks to follow.
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TOM’S SYNOPSIS HOOKS
What I learned from this assignment hopefully is to get to heart of the piece and accent the hooks. I might be able to cut this down some more.
MOC
1. SAVING GRACE – Logline: A NHL practice goalie struggles to make the save of a lifetime to protect his daughter and his team’s season.
A great role for a bankable actor – Danny Murphy was on top of the world: the star goalie of his college hockey team, playing for a championship, with a loving wife and baby, and destined for a long NHL career. In a moment, it was gone. His wife dead, his daughter swept away by her wealthy mother-in-law, Abigail Thornton, and his future, dreams and body crushed in a tragic car accident. Down and out, Danny must pick up the pieces of his shattered life or he will lose any chance to put his life and family back together again.
Danny is a complex, meaty role that pushes the chops of an actor. Playing the younger, successful Danny against the down-trodden ex-athlete he becomes, and his determination to get his life and family back, create a character on the brink, with an equal chance of doom or redemption, that actors and audiences love.
Abigail Thornton: wealthy / over-protective grandmother / determined
Jennifer: feisty / intelligent / wary
Grace: fragile / caring / precocious
Lou: handsome NHL star / loyal / good friend
Nevin: NHL coach / crafty / zen
I. Similarity to a box-office success – A true ROCKY meets THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS / KRAMER VS. KRAMER, an underdog story of redemption, pain and perseverance, with a thrilling, on the edge of your seat ending audiences love.
HOOKS
A. Unique Hero – A struggling grocery clerk / NHL practice goalie tries to save his daughter and his team’s season.
B. Major Hook: An washed-up NHL practice goalie gives his team a shot at the championship.
C. Turning Points: A tragic car crash destroys his family, dreams and body / after a confrontation and arrest, he vows to change for good. / Grace almost dies.
D. Emotional Dilemma: Would Gracie & Jennifer be better off without Danny?
E. Reveal: Danny was not drunk at the accident / Danny saved his minor hockey earnings for Grace’s college / Jennifer are was raped by her wealthy father, behind those safe walls / Vytas has left Danny a substantial inheritance / The Penalty Box crew took up a collection for Danny
F. Reversal: Danny stops drinking after the brawl. / Jenny overcomes his fear of water to save Grace / Abigail is won over by Danny’s actions towards Grace
G. Character Betrayals: Jago steals Danny’s recycling idea and gets promoted / Abagail sicks the sheriff on Danny /Jago (boss) dogs Danny for no reason
Title: SAVING GRACE
Written by: Thomas F. Duffy
Genre: Drama / Family / Sports
Can a washed-up grocery clerk / NHL practice goalie save his daughter and his team’s season?
Danny Murphy had it all: a star goalie with a loving wife and baby, and destined for a long NHL career. In a moment, it was gone. His wife dead, his dreams and body crushed in a tragic car accident, and his daughter swept away by Abagail, his wealthy mother-in-law.
Ten years later, a snakebitten Danny tries to rekindle his ties with his now distant daughter, Grace, with little means to support her. Backed by his best friend, Kings star Lou, a feisty new girlfriend, Jennifer, and gritty friends from his bar, The Penalty Box, he faces stiff opposition from Abigail. When Lou gets him a job as the Kings practice goalie, he can finally see hope.
But after a fight with an old rival and a near death scare for Grace, Danny questions whether Gracie & Jennifer might be better off without him?
Danny battles to the brink, with an equal chance of doom or redemption. His decisions lead to a climax that pays off with a thrilling, on the edge of your seat conclusion that actors and audiences love.
A ROCKY meets KRAMER VS. KRAMER, underdog story of redemption, pain and love.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Thomas Duffy.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Thomas Duffy.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by
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What I learned: That no matter what genre one encounters, humor has already encountered it. All one has to do, is follow the wreckage of incongruities present in any script, and take plenty of time to make out the incident reports.
Karen Crider Turning Hooks into a Great Synopsis
A. (Unique)–A teen (16y/o girl) struggles to overcome a serious, doughnut addiction, stemming from a ballerina-repressed state her widowed father creates, when he decides nursing is more practical for his daughter than her dreams of ballet.
B. (Title) The title of the script is: How to Train Your Tutu. It’s taken from, How to Train Your Dragon, of which nursing mutates into.
C. The timeline occurs during Covid 19, but the script is fictional.
D. (Timely)
E. (It’s a first): The protagonist affords a tutu by using her father’s biology money set aside for nursing.
F. Her first tutu is second hand from an antique store, where all its odors are included for free.
Ultimate: Nothing can remove the stench of tobacco, the embedded odor of perfume or the outdated tutu itself. It’s just something else the protagonist (16) uses to bully her with, for flirting with her boyfriend.
The script appeals to the youth, those young at heart and those hopelessly corralled by a doughnut conquest; thereby, potentially appealing to any bankable actor or actress.
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Phyllis MacBryde – Synopsis Hooks
What I learned is…boil the story down to its essence and follow the hooks.
CREATING ZINZI
Genre: Drama/Adventure
Logline:
A white playwright and a black producer workshop an American musical in Africa where the Ancestor Spirits determine its fate.
List of hooks:
1. Molly – a white playwright, Joyce – a black producer
2. Molly does not fit the concept of an underrepresented playwright
3. Molly wants to hold her workshop in a foreign country. She blows the grant, but goes to Africa anyway.
5. In a reversal, Joyce approves the grant.
6. Molly rehearses Broadway actors and indigenous women in a remote, yet stunning setting
7. Joyce goes to Africa to intervene
8. The indigenous women mutiny and demand a ritual sacrifice
Synopsis (Draft 1):
Molly, a late-blooming playwright, seeks a grant to workshop her musical from Joyce, a powerful black Broadway producer. Molly, a white woman, is not what Joyce had in mind when she created a fund for underrepresented writers. Molly explains that her musical centers around an African child. She’d like to hold the workshop in Africa. “Your team chose three black playwrights. And me.” Joyce whirls. “Why in God’s name did they pick your musical?” The confrontation escalates.
Though she has blown the opportunity, Molly squeezes her dwindling savings and flies to Cape Town to ensure the authenticity of the musical’s African scenes. Joyce is unaware of this development. In a momentary lapse of judgement, she approves the grant.
Thrilled, Molly secures a theater and brings her Broadway principals to Africa. At “rehearsal camp,” a remote, yet stunning wilderness setting, the Broadway actors collaborate with indigenous women, guardians of ancient music and the lost art of throat-singing. Said to have the power of divination, they live with an awareness of the Ancestor Spirits all around them.
Joyce is aghast to learn that Molly has actually gone to Africa. She has no choice. She flies to Cape Town to save face with her colleagues and keep the workshop afloat. Unfortunately, Molly has betrayed the indigenous women she came to represent. Fearing the Ancestor’s wrath, they are demanding a ritual sacrifice. Only then can the musical go on. With minutes ticking down to the performance and Joyce on her way to the theater, Molly struggles to keep the whole thing from flying apart.
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Told in a few simple sentences. I think you nailed it!
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Mark’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is that my task is very different from writing a movie. I am writing a TV series pilot and season arc. So the hooks and turning points and emotional journeys aren’t contained only in the pilot script. They describe the 1st season. But leading off with the hooks and marketability points should still entice someone to read the script. If I were to do these exercises with only the pilot in mind, it would not be nearly as interesting.
Opening scene hook: A Navy weapons test creates a huge lightning storm out of a clear, blue sky and lightning bolts are targeting birds, animals and insects.
Turning Points: The first scientist is struck by lightning.
The storm seeks a new victim, a 100-man Navy destroyer.
Unique hero: Exceptional military pilot who has been taking orders all his life must now have develop confidence to give orders.
Emotional Drama: Holden has to flee the storm to save his life, but it means leaving Gina and son exposed to it.
Reveal: The science team flies back to the US to escape the storm. The storm can travel across oceans and continents to find them.
Mysterious deaths in different cities lead to investigations that identify the victims as Holden’s science team
Surprise: Gina’s son has Holden’s DNA
The Navy’s best weather expert discovers the storm can morph itself into different looking weather patterns, despite the hostility of Admiral Clay.
Unique. There has never been the concept of a sentient force of nature with purpose.
H.
Adapted from a popular book.Synopsis
SkyFire is adapted from a popular Sci-Fi thriller novel with a unique premise.
A Navy weapons test creates a huge lightning storm out of a clear, blue sky and lightning bolts are targeting birds, animals and insects on the remote south sea island.
Jeff Holden, an exceptional military pilot who has been taking orders all his life, now in his second career as a meteorologist, must now develop confidence to give the orders and lead the science team. Their lives are in his hands.
The first scientist is struck and killed by lightning, Holden comes up with a crazy plan that allows him to fly them off the island in a chopper.
The storm seeks a new victim. A Navy destroyer with 100-man crew explodes and sinks.
The science team flies back to the US, where Holden’s rival, the Navy’s best weather expert, Ms. Kayama, discovers the storm can morph itself into different looking weather patterns, and is crossing seas and continents heading for them.
Admiral Clay, in charge of the project, is openly hostile to the “unlikely bullshit” theory proposed by the Asian woman.
Holden falls in love again with Gina, his college sweetheart, who re-enters his life with her three year-old brat of a son.
Mysterious deaths in different cities lead to investigations that identify the victims as Holden’s science team.
Holden learns from Kayama that the lethal storm is hunting the four of them who survived the weapons test, and he is the last target. Like an unrelenting Terminator with the power of Godzilla, this storm can’t be stopped.
Holden has to flee for his life, but it means leaving Gina and son in danger. Kayama assures him they are in no danger, it is Holden the storm wants.
The massive flooding and destruction caused by the storm’s movements forces Admiral Clay to admit to its sentient purpose. His decision is to sacrifice Holden to the storm for the greater good. Only then will the storm die out.
Holden learns that Gina and her son narrowly escape an attack by the storm, and he realizes the truth – the brat-has Holden’s DNA. It’s his own son.
The season builds to the moment when Holden makes the decision to have the Navy fly his family to safety across the country, while he pilots a fighter jet to the Arctic, luring the storm after him. He is unaware that the storm catches up with Gina. She is struck by lightning and dies while protecting the boy as the season ends.
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Liz’s Synopsis Hooks
I learned the most important part of writing a synopsis is to start with the hooks, then build the story around them. The producer will learn all the details when they read the script. For now, all you need to do is get them so interested they must read the screenplay.
1. By the end of the opening scene, the audience knows Abigail is not a fragile spirit child, but a ruthless killer.
2. Evan, a medicated anxious boy, and an unlikely hero is the only one who can save his family from Abigail.
3. Evan finds Abigail is not his only opponent when she sends her dead “pets” to kill him.
4. Abigail kills Evan’s dog, but his mother thinks he did it to prove Abigail is real, and he needs to be committed to the hospital again.
5. Realizing he’s the next to die, Evan decides to run away, but his love for his sister makes him stay and fight.
6. Evan’s sister thinks Abigail is a magical friend and betrays him to please her.
7. Evan’s mother realizes Abigail is real and demands she leave. Abigail shows herself and kills Evan’s mother.
8. Sheriff Ward arrives to help, but Evan steals his squad car and takes his sister and dead mother off Flint Hill.
9. The ambulance arrives in time to revive their mother.
10. Sheriff Ward has a history with Abigail.
First Draft:
How does an eleven-year-old boy stop a ruthless spirit who’s already dead?
Evan hopes this move will be different. Maybe he won’t be bullied at school and maybe his dad will keep his job, but soon finds there’s a bigger problem. Abigail, a lonely dead girl, lives in his backyard and she’s wants love which means his family. He’ll have to stop her on his own because his mom doesn’t believe she exists, and his sister thinks she’s magic.
When a makeshift exorcism doesn’t work, Abigail sends a dead “pet” to kill him. He kills it and in return she kills Fuzzy, the family dog. His mom thinks Evan did it to prove Abigail is real, and he’ll need to be institutionalized again. Devastated and certain he’s next to be killed, he steals the family car, but the sight of his fragile sister makes him stay and fight — a fight for all their lives.
He’s a worthy opponent, but Abigail has a bigger arsenal. When one of Abigail’s “human pets” kills his mother, Evan realizes the only way to win is to get what’s left of his family off Flint Hill.
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Leland’s Synopsis Hooks
She’s a cop, tall, beautiful, athletic and capable to taking down big men with ease. But she’s on a police force that doesn’t want her, sets up roadblocks that she breaks down, cringes when she catches the bad guys and is suddenly the hero. She has a geek friend who helps her discover what’s going on behind her back, gives her to tools to fight back. When a serial cop-killer targets her as his next objective, she finds herself a prisoner, drugged and confuse, but gets free, fights back, sends the killer running. He’s now gunning for her. The lady cop has other problems. Her new partner was sent to run her off, but she turns things on him, arrests his son. He has friends with lots of money and power, but our lady cop discovers why he has those friends, breaks the bonds, that send him running for cover. When a super hacker sends mercenaries to take out the geek friend, the lady cop carries his to safety, literally, on her back. There’s a battle, Uzis against handguns, a big chase, and a final shootout where the lady cop takes down the super hacker. He’s a big catch. In the end, the lady cop reaches her objective of becoming a detective.
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Emmanuel Sullivan’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is hooks are the key to building an engaging synopsis.
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Assignment 6
Gordon Roback Creating a synopsis
What I learned from this assignment is that the synopsis should not be a boring book report. Using the techniques of story telling one needs to entice the buyer with the sizzle as well as the steak.
Camerone
Action Adventure
This is the ultimate Alamo story. It took place in 1863 when France invaded Mexicoduring the American Civil War. The screenplay is based on a true story.
a) A company of the French Foreign Legion, at half strength, (because the other half has died or is dying from “The Black Vomit) is sent as the advance guard of the mother of all gold shipments to pay the French soldiers besieging Mexico City. If the gold is lost, this would be the end of the French invasion of Mexico. Captain Danjou is told if they run into trouble the relief column will be two hours behind.
b) After marching all night the 65 men are attacked by 2,200 Mexicans.
c) They manage to fight their way to a stone house near Camerone and take up defenses.
d) They hold off the Mexicans, even though they are outnumbered 60 to 1.
e) The Mexicans think they have the gold
f) After repulsing several attacks the Legion refuses to surrender
g) By 2:00 pm the legion is down to 20 men still standing. They are out of water, food and medicine. They are running low on ammunition. Around the villa are piles of Mexican dead.
h) About 3 pm they see a huge dust cloud coming toward them. They cheer, thinking they are being relieved, but it is more Mexicans. A lot more.
i) They now realize their situation is hopeless. But they still refuse to surrender.
j) About 6:00 pm they are out of ammunition. Refusing to surrender, the six Legionnaires still standing fix bayonets and attack the Mexican army.
This is the battle that made the French Foreign Legion a legend.
1. Given the box office success of such films as Zulu, Fury, 300 and 1917 there is a definite market for this kind of film, especially one with the romantic cache of “The French Foreign Legion”
There are many great roles here.. Michael Caine became a star in his supporting role in Zulu.
2. While this is an epic film, it asks basic questions like what is the nature of duty and courage and honour? What fascinates me is the existential quality of the dilemma. Here are foreigners who have no stake in carving out a French empire out of Mexico. They are not fighting to defend their homes or their families or their country because they have no country. They are being paid next to nothing. They can surrender at any time and live. But they refuse. For men who have nothing all they have is their honour and they are all willing to die to defend it, knowing the dogs will eat their bodies. For them the Legion is their country. Now contrast this with the Afghan army which was well equipped and well trained and motivated to defend their families and their country. Yet in late August 2021 they caved in without a fight against the Taliban.
3. This screenplay is based on an actual event which occurred on April 30<sup>th</sup>, 1863.
4. April 30<sup>th</sup> is a big day for the French Foreign Legion. As one current sergeant said, “Camerone reminds us that the battle happens at the wrong time and in the wrong place and you are vastly outnumbered and you don’t have the right weapons or enough ammunition and the sun is in your eyes and the sand is blowing in your face and no one cares if you live or die, but you fight to the death to last man in The French Foreign Legion, just like they did at Camerone.
Components of Marketability 7/10
Unique = high concept. If you want to understand courage, see Camerone.
True Story
Timely: Contrast the fight at Camerone vs. the non fight for Afghanistan against the Taliban.
The ultimate in courage
Vast Audience Appeal
Similar to the box office success of Zulu, Fury, 300 and 1917.
Great roles for box office actors.
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Lonnie’s Synopsis/Hooks
What I learned: This forced me to organize my hooks, clarify them, and put them in an organized synopsis. It’s a little rough and needs trimming, but a good start.
2. Select 6 – 10 hooks that could give an overview of your story.:
Hooks:
1) Major hook of your opening scene – Ben, the 9-year-old, sees all of the pilots of a jetliner get murdered from the window of the boarding area at Heathrow airport. His parents don’t believe him, but he is kidnapped soon afterwards after the flight was diverted from Atlanta to Washington D.C.
2) What is most unique about your villain and hero – The hero is a scared, kidnapped 9-year-old boy who figures out how to escape a shape-shifting cult of reptoids. The villain is a powerful female reptoid, leading the underground, shape-shifting cult with intentions of taking over Washington D.C. She and her partner have super-human powers.
3) Major twists –
a. As Ben’s parents watch TV in their temporary hotel, strange and eery messages start coming through their TV, revealing: they have Ben and they know where the parents are… but who? Why? How they used a tv?
b. Ben secretly records conversations of the reptoids’ plans and takes pictures of the underground complex, then sends his phone up on an elevator. He gets a copy of a reptoid palm print, and escapes using the palm reader. The authorities are alerted.
c. Aurora starts having feelings for Ben, heals him and starts dropping hints on
.
4) Character betrayals – Aurora vs Adronis: they have a plan to take over Washington from their underground, high-tech bunker. They have “pods” under London and Rome. This plan has been in the works for decades. But at the last minute, Aurora befriends Ben, and betrays Adronis by letting Ben escape rather than killing him—Ben takes all the human hostages with him..
5)
OTHER: In a surprise attack, the Washington PD, Fire Dept, and Secret Service commence flooding the underground base…Ben has already escaped with the other hostages. Aurora surrenders.
6) The reptoids….The powerful, shape-shifting reptoid, Aurora, once she is captured gives the young Ben all of her powers to heal and more. Ben then heals his sister…and family.
7) Adronis wants Ben dead, Aurora befriends him HOOK: leader wants Ben eliminated, in a twist, a female reptoid befriends him, provides a code for elevator
Ending: Aurora gives her healing power to Ben, who heals is nearly blind, little sister and protects his family.
Using those hooks as an outline, write a first draft of your synopsis:
Title: ELEVATOR DOWN
Genre: SCI-FI/SUSPENSE
SYNOPSIS:
Heathrow airport: Nine-year-old, Ben Shaeffer, sees all the pilots on a jet he’s about to board, get killed. But his parents don’t see anything and don’t believe him. But mysteriously, the jet is diverted from Atlanta to Washington D.C., where Ben is immediately kidnapped. Ironically, it was the same female flight attendant who assisted in the kidnapping.
He finds himself in a cell, deep in an underground bunker, operated by a group of powerful, shape-shifting reptoids. Their goal: to kidnap high profiled politicians, clone them, then send them up to control all facets of the power grid, government, and the military. Ben is simply collateral damage because of what he saw.
Adronis, the head reptoid wants Ben eliminated, but his female counterpart, Aurora, befriends the child, heals him, and gives him hints on how to escape. His parents are frantic as to his unknown whearabouts.
But as his parents watch TV in the local hotel, a strange and eerie message comes to them on the screen, letting them know they are being tracked….and they have Ben. But who sent the message? What is there agenda? Ben’s Mother is feeling terrorized!
Ben is able to get Aurora’s palm print, which eventually allows him to escape his cell to the elevator, while Aurora drops hints to Ben on the code to the elevator. She betrays Adronis and their mission by allowing Ben to escape.
Ben takes pictures on his phone, and recordings from the cult leaders, and sends the phone up on the elevator for authorities to find… the Reptoids are revealed.
Aurora has great powers and heals Ben’s lungs, and he wants her to heal his sister’s eyes someday, but we don’t know until the end whether or not Ben’s life is in danger from Adronis, or if he will escape, ushering the others out as well.
Ben is able to get all the information the FBI and secret service need, so they can flood the cult and capture all of the reptoids. Adronis escapes on a high-speed, underground shuttle.
Aurora gives herself up, and while in jail calls for Ben. Bens’ mother Jessica asked her to heal her daughter, but she calls for Ben instead. Aurora transfers her powers of healing to Ben.
Ben is now a brave, powerful young man who heals his sister and protects his family. Aurora’s powers are gone and she is shrivelled, dying creature.
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ASSIGNMENT
Guil, Synopsis Hooks.
What I learned doing this assignment is that by starting from the hooks, it makes it more manageable to draft a synopsis. It’s very easy to get lost in a “book report,” but by focusing on the hooks, writers can best create something that is engaging.
2. Select 6 – 10 hooks that could give an overview of your story.
COM:
Unique? The Dreammaker’s Revenge is a contained Crime Drama with a dark comedy undertone. The world of kidnapping, betrayal and murder has twists and turns that can keep the audience guessing until the end. The story makes use of the tropes: 1) kidnapping a producer (Swimming with Sharks), 2) the dysfunctional co-dependence between two characters (Sunset Boulevard), and 3) an accident that has irreversible consequences (Detour); and it immerses the audience into the world of a movie-obsessed and crazed screenwriter who will do anything it takes to “make it” and exact revenge on those who get in his way. The consequence is a point of no return.
Similarity to a box-office success? Yes. Since this is a contained script, it makes Covid-safety issues more manageable. Additionally, two interior main locations can also make it logistically feasible. Of the comps: The Player, Reservoir Dogs, Swimming with Sharks, Suicide Kings, Sunset Boulevard… Reservoir Dogs might be the most similar because of the possibility of having a great ensemble with a few locations and one main location where the majority of the movie takes place.
MIT:
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero? The hero, or perhaps, the anti-hero, is a dysfunctional screenwriter who, in a crazed state, kidnaps a producer. His action sets off a series of complications with a point of no return. The villain (or victim) is the producer who rejects the screenwriter, but he is also the one who helps the screenwriter get rid of the bodies… not out of the kindness of his heart, but because he may be implicated…
B. Major hook of your opening scene? A screenwriter and his partner/director are in financial ruin because of their indie feature film. What the screenwriter does next makes it all much worse: kidnapping a producer. Such action sets the director and screenwriter against each other. Should they let the producer go? What if he calls the cops???
C. Any turning points? In a fit of rage, the screenwriter kills the director; and the accidental death of a porn actor (the producer’s friend who was at the wrong place at the wrong time) may implicate both the screenwriter and the producer.
D. Emotional dilemma? The unstable screenwriter’s actions lead him to kidnapping, betrayal and murder. Bad choices lead him deeper into regret and guilt, and on a journey to find a way out.
E. Major twists? The screenwriter and producer are tied together now because of the deaths of two people. They both need to work together to evade the detective. It’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival.
F. Reversals? As the detective close in on them, the screenwriter and producer turn on each other. The question remains: who will win?
G. Character betrayals? The screenwriter and the director betray each other, leading to the director’s death. The screenwriter and the producer turn on each other. Sloppy mistakes in the disposal of the bodies bring the detective closer to the truth.
H. Or any big surprises? The producer secretly accumulates evidence against the screenwriter, just in case… and when the detective returns with damning evidence against the producer, the blame game starts, and the question is: who will go to jail?
3. Organize those hooks into a sequence that makes sense for the story.
B. Major hook of your opening scene? A screenwriter and his partner/director are in financial ruin because of the failure of their indie feature film. What the screenwriter does next makes it all much worse: kidnapping a producer. Such action sets the director and screenwriter against each other. Should they let the producer go? What if he calls the cops???
Unique? The Dreammaker’s Revenge is a contained Crime Drama with a dark comedy undertone. It immerses the audience into the world of a movie-obsessed and crazed screenwriter who will do anything it takes to “make it” and exact revenge on those who get in his way. The consequence is a point of no return.
C. Any turning points? In a fit of rage, the screenwriter kills the director; and the accidental death of a porn actor (the producer’s friend who was at the wrong place at the wrong time) may implicate both the screenwriter and the producer.
E. Major twists? The screenwriter and producer are tied together now because of the deaths of two people. They both need to work together to evade the detective. It’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival.
F. Reversals? As the detective close in on them, the screenwriter and producer turn on each other. The question remains: who will win?
4. Using those hooks as an outline, write a first draft of your synopsis.
Title: The Dreammaker’s Revenge
Written by Guil Parreiras
Genre: Crime / Drama
A crazed movie-obsessed screenwriter and his director are in financial ruin because of the failure of their indie film. The logical solution would be to pay it off, but no… instead, the screenwriter kidnaps a producer.
Such action sets the director and screenwriter against each other. Should they let the producer go? What if he calls the cops? But, just when they may have found a way out, the accidental death of the director becomes a point of no return and may implicate both the producer and the screenwriter.
The screenwriter and producer are now tied together and they both need to work together to evade a cunning detective — it’s a self-serving engagement for the sake of survival.
As the detective close in on them, the screenwriter and producer turn on each other. The last question remains: who will evade the law?
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Cara’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s better to loosen my idea of what a synopsis is… it’s better to let it be “catchy” and not too story descriptive. My story topic can come across as heavy, so I need to find ways of making the whole thing more digestible and alluring.
Title: Imitation of a Poet
Written by Cara
Genre: Drama/True Story (Public Domain)
If good poetry requires love. And excellent poetry requires heartbreak. What does famous poetry require?
For a fragile poet struggling with his identity, Rilke has finally found both true love and his muse in the seductive, intellectual-powerhouse, Lou Andreas-Salomé… but instead of a flourishing career writing love poems, he is abandoned by his married lover who finds his poetry uninspired. With that, he embarks on a mission to mend his broken heart and write the kind of poetry worthy of her.
His solution for inspiration? Befriend the self-serving, artistic genius, Auguste Rodin. A man known for burning those closest to him.
In the midst of Paris’ elite artistic circles, Rilke becomes obsessed with Rodin only to find that his work and relationships suffer more than ever. As Rilke comes to terms with the destructive realities of his friends’ artistic personalities, he discovers that whatever inspiration he had has completely run out.
As his health dangerously deteriorates, there’s only one choice – abandon his obsessive relationships.
Only then will he find his poetic fame.
** Rilke remains one of the most popular of all best-selling poets. His work is so influential that it’s even tattooed on Lady Gaga.
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Stephen Dexter’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned is, if you can write a pitch that hooks the reader’s interest, you’re letting the producer know you can do the same with a script.
First Draft:
A scraggly, old, and very smart mutt abandoned in the desert is going to get in the way of Wes, an insecure, has-been TV pitchman in desperate need to jumpstart his stalled career.
On his way to a desert ghost down for his first movie role, Wes stops to retrieve his Stetson that flew out of his convertible and ends up in the mouth of that dog. The dog ends up in the car and won’t leave… no matter what.
What’s seen as a rescue by the dog-loving director is not true, but Wes never corrects her.
Back home, the dog’s howling one night brings over Amber, a female officer, who is also desperate to turn her career around after an unfortunate accident. The dog senses a love connection here.
The dog uncovers proof of his girlfriend’s infidelity, and in return, he promises to find the dog a good home and never put him in a shelter.
When word gets out about the “cowboy with the heart of gold” who rescued the poor dog from certain death, Hollywood takes notice.
As the chance of long-awaited stardom now becomes a matter of when and not if, the dog misbehaves any time a prospective owner comes to call.
Knowing the old dog will be put down if he takes him to a shelter and desperate to have the fame he’s been longing for, Wes must decide the fate of the old dog nobody wants to adopt.
What he will eventually learn is: An old dog can teach you new tricks in this family-friendly, feel-good movie with a surprise ending that will have audiences cheering, an experience we all need, especially right now.
Hooks:
Components of Marketability:
1) Timely – Right now, producers, studios, actors, and streamers are clamoring for family-friendly films.
2) Logline – After an insecure, struggling actor rescues a stray dog, he must decide the fate of the old dog nobody wants, while his long-awaited chance at stardom approaches
3) Wide Audience Appeal – People love dogs. They love having them as part of their family. They love watching dog videos on YouTube and they love dog movies.
Most Important Things:
1) Opening scene hook: An old, scraggly mutt gets dumped in the middle of the desert by his despicable owner.
2) Turning points: Laredo uncovers proof of his girlfriend’s infidelity and in turn, Wes, the actor, makes a promise – find the dog a good home and never place him in a shelter
3) Big Surprise: The final scene is a movie premier. A limo pulls up, Wes gets out and we all think he finally make it big as an actor, but the premier is for Laredo, who has now become a superstar.
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John’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is to use the COM and MIT to create a to-the-point synopsis.
COM
Potty Mouths – short and catchy title
Comedy with a wide audience appeal.
MIT
Unique hero – Michael gets anxiety when he’s left alone with his son.
Villain- Charlie still likes to party it up.
Major hook- We hear the thoughts of Billy and Abby.
Twist- Michael, who hasn’t spoken with his dad for some time, comes to help.
Reversals- Michael snaps at Charlie for potentially putting his son Billy in harms way.
Character betrayal- When Michael finds out it was his wife who called his father to help.
Title: Potty Mouths
Genre: Comedy
Can you imagine if we heard what infants were thinking? Now, imagine it R-rated.
As the moms leave for a bachelorette party, we hear the point of view of two infants, Billy and Abby, as they are left with their inexperienced dads, Michael and David, for five days.
Michael has fear and anxiety of being alone with his son. David tries to install a stricter brand of parenting to Abby but she’s accustom to her mother’s easy-going ways.
Making things more complicated, Michael’s father, who he hasn’t talked to for some time, comes to help. Later, we find out it was Michael’s wife, Sarah, who called him over to help creating tension between the couple. Also, Michael’s friend, Charlie, continues pressuring Michael to reminisce the old days and party with him. It eventually comes to a turning point when Charlie puts Billy in an unorthodox situation.
It all boils down to Michael and David taking control of fatherhood and giving it their own unique touch.
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Mark Abel’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is…
A method for distilling the most compelling elements of my story into a more engaging synopsis.
SYNOPSIS FIRST DRAFT:
What if the world’s greatest escape artist met inescapable circumstances?
That’s what had to be found for Felix Fleming, the reckless illusionist responsible for the death of his entire audience in a theater fire. And the solution seemed to be military service at a remote outpost — until his convoy suffers an attack by Tuareg smugglers that strands him in the desert.
After a fortnight of ambling through hell, he finds rescue at a secret oasis known as Zerzura, only to discover a power-mad sultan has enslaved its people to a crude gold mining operation.
Despite resolving to liberate the slaves, fears of the outsider turn this refuge into a lethal trap as the sultan closes in. And none of Felix’s skills or experience will save them if he can’t see through the overwhelming obstacles.
Constant misdirection. Questionable allies. His own blinding guilt. This escape is going to require far more than magic.
HOOKS USED:
What if the world’s greatest escape artist met inescapable circumstances? (COM)
A famous escape artist — blamed and exiled for the accidental death of his audience during a performance (MOT) — finds rescue at a remote desert oasis, (MOT) only to discover a power-mad sultan has enslaved its people to a crude gold mining operation. (MOT) Now the magician must call upon all his skills and experience to confront his past, defeat the sultan, and liberate the slaves. (MOT)
Our guilt is relieved when we stop blaming others. (COM)
A disgraced illusionist wanders the desert chasing mirages. (COM)
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Robert Barhite’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is literally create hooks as bullet points before the script is started. They may change as the script is written and rewritten, but they’ll be useful to create the query letter, and in the my case, the pitch deck for a television series.
Title: Eulogy for the Damned
Written by: Robert Barhite
Genre: One Hour Serial Drama/Western
Five years after a traitor sold out Isaiah Cooper’s gang of conniving stagecoach robbers to Pinkerton detectives, he’s tracked down the last member of his crew – his lover Kate. Despite mutual mistrust they work together to find the gang’s stolen loot. What a perfect way to keep Kate under his thumb. Unless she turns him in for the reward.
Facing bankruptcy after years of financial hardship, the Wyoming Stock Growers Association sends a message when it orders the execution of two homesteaders. And the perfect scapegoat for the brutal murders – Isaiah.
His gang massacred. Hunted relentlessly by Pinkertons. And now framed by cattle barons for the murders of two homesteaders.
What’s an honest outlaw gotta do to save his neck?
To save himself, Isaiah is coerced by the cattle barons and their head thug to help recruit an army of murderers. One small hitch though. Their thug, Solomon, was Isaiah’s right-hand man, and they need each other alive long enough to find the missing loot. Solomon cuts a deal with Isaiah – help wipe out the homesteaders and Isaiah will be a free man.
Isaiah’s found his traitor. It’s a race to “Boot Hill.” Will Isaiah find the stolen loot and get his revenge before his ex-partner deems him “expendable?”
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Subject line: Michael Mercer’s Synopsis Hooks
In this coming-of-age drama-romance, Adam – a handsome, fun, affectionate guy – gets into simultaneous loving relationships with six girls.
When he is high school senior, his father goes ballistic when he catches Adam passionately making out with his girlfriend. Unfortunately, Adam’s father makes him break-up with his HS girlfriend, and miss Prom.
Fortunately, Adam goes off to college, and vastly more than makes up for what he missed.
His first day at college, he goes to on-campus concert, and meets three girls who are BFFs and attend local all-girls high school The four of them immediately fall in love, and get into a variety of adventures. The girls decide to “share” Adam as their boyfriend.
Simultaneously, Adam’s pretty next door dorm neighbor, Taylor, keeps flirting her way into his life. Adam’s three BFF girlfriends notice. They keep confronting Taylor, plus taking actions to try to keep Taylor away from Adam.
Adam has shocking run-ins with parents of both Claudia and Heather. Claudia’s father is a super-successful, but horrendous human. He sexually abuses Claudia. And Adam catches him with his secret life – with his second wife and children in, lo-&-behold, Adam’s hometown. Adam finds out, confronts Claudia’s father. Result: Claudia’s father threatens to arrange to kill Adam.
Heather invites Adam to her home for dinner with her parents. Her parents get very drunk. Her drunk father makes homosexual advances toward Adam. And Heather’s drunk mother makes super-inappropriate sexual compliment to Heather about Adam’s body.
Adam and his three BFF girlfriends go to Prom together.
After Prom, Adam and Emily wind up in Emily’s house, and her parents are out-of-town. The next morning, Adam cannot awaken Emily, because she died during their night together of a natural, but uncommon, heart ailment.
At Emily’s funeral, Adam delivers an astoundingly upbeat, positive eulogy about Emily’s charming, delightful, and joyful spirit.
After the funeral, Adam ends up in Heather’s house, where they strip down to underwear, and passionately make-out. Surprisingly, Heather’s mother returns home early from work, and catches them.
That evening, Heather’s father calls Adam’s father, and says he will get Adam thrown into jail on statutory rape charges.
Adam is horrified. He confides in Taylor, his attractive dorm next door neighbor, and conjures up a plan of action.
Adam calls Claudia’s father – the sexual abuser with a secret second family. He tells Claudia’s father that unless he gets Heather’s father to drop the charges – and also stop sexually abusing Claudia – Adam will publicize Claudia’s father’s secret second family and sexual abuse of Claudia.
Claudia’s father complies. No charges are filed against Adam. Plus, Claudia’s father apologizes to Claudia and promises never to touch her again.
At start of Adam’s next school year – as college sophomore – he and Taylor decide to start dating and, maybe, be girlfriend-boyfriend. Taylor feels thrilled.
But, Ariel – a perky, cute high school senior – meets Adam, and falls head over heel for him.
Inappropriately, Adam agrees to see both Taylor and Ariel at a concert on the college campus The two girls growl at each other, and compete for Adam’s attention.
But suddenly they realize they both have a strong emotional reason to bond. They quickly make peace, and decide to be “like sisters” and “share” Adam as their mutual boyfriend.
“LOVE YOU FOREVER” ends with Adam, Taylor and Ariel joyfully dancing with each other at the on-campus concert.
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Emmanuel Sullivan’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is hooks are the key to building an engaging synopsis.
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Phil’s Synopsis Hooks
I learned I’d written a pretty good synopsis prior to the class that ticked off most off the hooks. I revised it to add one of the hooks identified in the exercises.
Ben a Zoology major with a bug obsession and his BFF Owen; a loud taxidermist with a passion for fur, have been inseparable since college. Ben is dependent on Owen for his direction in life and Owen delights in having a groupie.
Thirteen years after barely graduating they slave away in a rundown museum for Regina; their ball-crushing boss and Ben’s ex-girlfriend.
When Owen discovers the elusive Drop Bear, with a suspicious resemblance to a killer koala, on the internet, he entices Ben to escape Regina’s torments, quit their dead-end jobs and undertake a quest to Australia to capture one, certain that fame and fortune awaits.
Upon arrival in Sydney the local barflies laughingly inform them that the animal’s a hoax. The Boys retreat to a rundown hostel where Ben contemplates returning to Regina’s clutches at the Museum. When the Boys find they are sharing their bunkroom with Ingrid and Marino, two backpacker girls, Ben is immediately lovestruck by Ingrid.
After Owen hears of a toxic uranium spill at a mine site in the Australian Outback and growling in the night, he’s sure Drop Bears are real. Ben isn’t convinced, but when Owen tells Ben the Girls are joining him on his quest and that Ingrid is attracted to Ben, he agrees to follow Owen one more time.
So the foursome set off for the Outback in a beat-up Kombi van. On the road Ben makes ungainly moves on Ingrid but finds that Owen’s getting along a little too well with her. Soon the Boys are in hot competition for Ingrid’s affections. Just when Ben thinks he’s in with a chance, Owen and Ingrid slip away together.
At the mine site Owen twists Ben’s arm into being bait in a Drop Bear trap. Ben follows Owen’s instructions to fake his best Kiwi accent to lure a Drop Bear but draws the line at Owen’s smug advice on how to get girls and storms off alone into the dark.
After Owen traps a Drop Bear on the mine site the foursome are betrayed by Regina who is now also seeking a Drop Bear and captured by the miners determined to prevent further news of mutant koalas leaking to the media. Ben heroically frees Ingrid, Marino, and even Regina from their restraints. With their friendship on the line Ben hesitates to release Owen as the miners return, and Ben and the Girls escape in the nick of time, leaving Owen behind.
After fighting off an attacking Drop Bear and making a perilous escape back to their campground, Ben decides he must return to free Owen. As Ben sneaks back into the mining headquarters, Drop Bears fall from trees sinking their fangs into miners as they try to bat them away. Ben confronts Owen about his multiple deceptions as Drop Bears attack all around. Ben tells Owen he’ll no longer be his groupie and releases Owen. They fight off Drop Bears as a forest fire rages behind them wiping out all in its path and escape with their lives.
The Boys now unemployed, penniless, and sans Drop Bear, bid farewell to the Girls and ask Regina for their jobs back. She agrees, delighted to have her minions back in her control. As the Boys board the airplane home Ben is excited to learn that his application for a job curating an insect collection at Stanford has been successful. Ben toasts Owen to an enduring but independent friendship.
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Torino Von Jones Synopsis Hooks
What I learned is using hooks to write a synopsis will engage the reader and writing this way will let the producer know I am a professional.
Hooks:
2) Similarity to a box office success
Similar to the STEP UP films, MOVE has the elements to appeal to all ages.
Opening Hook
Two brothers, one a dancer, the other a parkour specialist race to an audition. One runs down the street, the other somersaults from rooftop to rooftop.
1) Wide audience appeal/Unique
Dance movies have a faithful audience with the international box office often doubling the domestic numbers. With a diverse cast of lead actors (African-American, Asian-American, and Southeast Asian), MOVE will attract an international and domestic audience.
Logline
Two brothers compete in a career-starting dance showcase, but when they fall for the same girl, nobody wins.
3) A great role for a bankable actor
The antagonist, Jeffrey Cortes, choreographer of the best dance company west of New York, is a master manipulator, a smooth operator who’s willing to use his money, connections, and cunning to win the showcase.
What’s at stake:
A career as a professional is lost when a dancer and his brother compete for the same girl.
Goal/ Unique opposition:
Winning a dance competition is all that matters for a dancer until he falls for the same girl as his brother…
Elevator Pitch
When two brothers fall for the same girl during a dance competiton, there’s no way they can win.
Synopsis Draft 1
Dance movies have a faithful audience with the international box office often doubling the domestic numbers. With a diverse cast of lead actors (African-American, Asian-American, and Southeast Asian), MOVE will resonate with an international and a domestic audience.
2. Two competitive brothers, Jewelz is a dancer and Will is a parkour specialist, race to an audition. One runs down the streets, the other somersaults from roof to roof.
When they are selected for a Las Vegas showcase, the brothers join a select group of international dancers from around the world, including Fria, a beautiful dancer from India.
The antagonist, choreographer Jeffrey Cortes, is a master manipulator who must win and will use his money, connections, and cunning to do it.
A professional career is the winner’s prize, but when the brother’s compete for Fria’s affection, there is no way they can win.
Similar to the STEP UP films, MOVE has innovative dance set pieces, romance, and an emotional core sure to appeal to all ages.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Torino Von Jones.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by
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