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Day 15 Assignment
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9 Replies
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Janeen Finished Wordsmithing!
What I learned doing this assignment is that as I wordsmithed the scenes in a random order (I’d choose a random number from one to ten and do all the scene numbers that ended with that number), I more or less memorized the six steps. I started doing just Steps 1 and 2 as I’d printed the reference doc with those two steps on the first page. Then I’d make another pass with Steps 3 and 4. I’d used many of the Step 3 and 4 improvements for years in novel writing so soon I was doing them on a scene while still working on Steps 1 and 2.
By doing random scenes, I was able to focus on the content of the scene rather than the story. Reading chronologically, I get into the story and forget to edit. The random method helped.
Most Interesting Edits:
As I tried to transform my descriptions from sentences to phrases, I began to hear the revised descriptions the way Hal would read them. All I had to do was write them down.
i’ve done the widow check in novel writing so doing that came naturally in my final pass. I’m always amazed how the lines change and morph when removing one word requires a rewrite.
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Jean Finished Wordsmithing!
What I learned doing this assignment is that going through the script line by line meticulously helped me find lines that I could elevate. Yes, it was work but well worth the effort. I kept the lessen beside the script and constantly referred to it, running down the checklist for each line. Sometimes it was just a word. Sometimes a phrase or a whole sentence. Whatever the change, they were all improvements.
I couldn’t say what the most interesting edits were. There were so many small ones. What I can say is that, overall, the edits have improved the script, and that’s what I want.
I did another pass just looking at dialogue and action with a hanging word. Getting rid of the widows and orphans helped reduce the script by three pages. I am very pleased with this because it put the script in my target range of pages.
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Hi,
Would you like to exchange scripts? If so, message me.
Janeen
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I’d like to exchange scripts. Please advise.
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I’ve finished my Pilot and am ready to submit it for Feedback. What is the Procedure?
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Jack, I sent a connection request to you. Send my your email and we’ll exchange scripts
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Tracy Finished Wordsmithing!
El Pueblo is finished for this round! What I learned is that I could elevate by better verb choices, shortening sentences, getting rid of passive descriptions. Still more to catch, no doubt. So, I am ready for another pair of eyes to read this. Since it is historical, and some of the settings perhaps not as familiar, I am curious if the writing is creating good imagery for the reader. I think it’s lead me to write longer descriptions, or to have a lot of exposition that might not otherwise be needed. So, I am ready to exchange scripts! Thank you very much —
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Rob’s Finished Wordsmithing!
Finally finished the polish on the draft. Took longer than expected but I’m reasonably happy with it. The main changes were to trim it down, streamline the description. I managed to get rid of most of the widows and I found it a really valuable discipline to find ways to cut and trim. I think it’s a better, faster read now.
Very keen to exchange feedback … if I’m not too late to join the party?
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Hi Rob,
I just happened to end up on the forum today and saw your post. We could exchange scripts if you’d like. I posted mid-January, so didn’t get an exchange at the first of the month either. I’ve been reworking my Bible, pitch, treatment in the meantime.
Tracy
El Pueblo – 2 part pilot
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