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Day 3 Assignments
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A subtext relationship scene is hopelessly confusing out of context. My drafts of novel and screenplay are now even more confusing. But maybe one goal is to confuse the audience/reader to make them think and ask questions.
INT. LA ROCHE STONE HOUSE – DAY
KITCHENNikos and Betty are fussing around the stove where a huge roast is stewing.
NIKOS
There is too much cholesterol in this heavy meat with the rich sauces.BETTY
Yeah, but we might as well die happy. Jean loves this stuff.,
“
NIKOS
I have known Jean longer than you have.BETTY
What do you want to cock, I mean cook?NIKOS
A Mediterranean diet is best for everything.BETTY
His body is gone but he can still chew and taste.NIKOS
And talk. I always loved his voice.
Nikos’ lover Orhan looks uncomfortable. He paces nervously. Nikos casts an eye his way.NIKOS
Don’t worry, Orhan. We need your music. Why didn’t you bring your flute?”ORHAN
I forgot.Nikos lets this lie go. Betty is stirring a thick sauce that reminds Nikos of semen, of ancient trysts with Jean he will never forget.
NIKOS
He hates vegetables.BETTY
Always did, but I can mix them with kebob and seasoning and –”NIKOS
Go for it.Betty prepares two trays and hands one to Nikos.
NIKOS
Of course, Jean always cared more about the life of the mind. The only good thing about ALS is that it preserves the mind.
BEDROOM
The two of them enter Jean’s room. He is lying in his four poster bed, transformed into a hospital bed to move in different positions. But he is like a head without a body. He is listening to a sermon he gave years ago about death at a funeral.ORHAN OFF-SCREEN
It is strange he is listening to his own voice.They bring in the food. Betty puts on a bib and Nikos smiles. The door is left open. Orhan stands in the doorway. Jean looks too ecstatic to see Nikos so Betty begins feeding Jean to distract him.
Nikos argues with what Jean is saying in his loud lecture, creating a cacophony of SOUND that is irritating Orhan’s ears. Jean throws up. Betty cleans up and turns off the recording.
Orhan is still frozen at the door. A smell of poop makes Betty realize another clean-up is needed but Jean screams as she approaches his pants.JEAN
I want a man!It seems that no one recognizes the old Leo, including Orhan and Nikos. Nikos steps in and quickly changes his diapers as Betty cleans around the room. Overwhelmed by the stench, Orhan transcends the brutal biology of the scene by softly singing Sufi songs to soothe everyone. Jean’s ears respond to Orhan and his eyes to Nikos’ forgiveness. He sighs into his bed. Betty surveys the scene.
BETTY
See, when we work together, we can accomplish miracles.Suddenly Joan shuffles in her night clothes and a huge beaver hat.
JOAN
Who are all these people?Nikos never spent much time with her in the past. Maybe she doesn’t recognize him and Orhan.
NIKOS
We were just feeding and changing your husband.JOAN
He is just a voice.There is a logic in Alzheimer’s. Then she recognizes Betty.
JOAN
I am hungry.Betty sits Joan down in the rocking chair and sets up a little table to give her the untouched tray. After sampling the meat, she throws her spoon on the floor.
JOAN
Too fat!Nikos smiles with a tolerance he never expected to feel for his long-time rival. Joan joins Jean on his bed and Orhan enters the room to take Nikos’ arm. Betty winks at Orhan.
NIKOS
I guess you never spent much time in Muddy Mansion, and I never knew your history. Humans tend to paint history in pretty colors.Betty guffaws.
NIKOS
Did you know Leo, the owner of Muddy Mansion?BETTY
As well as we can know ourselves. Long live LGBTQ!The three of them leave Jean and Joan to curl up into their afternoon nap. Betty hurries back to scrub the kitchen before her real past is revealed. Nikos and Orhan wave from the door.
NIKOS
Please let us know when we can help. Diseases and dying are challenges for everyone and compassion is needed to forgive the past.Betty nods and sings to herself as she cleans up the kitchen, knowing that no amount of Clorox can forgive her past.
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Budinscak Subtext Relationship
Day 3
What I learned doing this assignment:
o Connecting on the subtext level dictates characters hide/alter their identities and/or their feeling and emotions from one another.
o A foundation piece to establish dialog, action and relationships for your main characters throughout the story.
o Adds depth, conflict, emotion and value to any scene.
Character: Jack
Subtext Identity: Scoundrel uncle and shady chef
Character Traits: slick/street smart, selfish, condescending, big heart
Subtext Logline: Scoundrel Jack distorts the truth to support his continually changing version about why he’s making this trip.
Character: Don Vito Pussillo
Subtext Identity: Treacherous Crime Boss
Character Traits: Dictatorial, aloof/arrogant, narcissist, underhanded
Subtext Logline: Don Vito is a treacherous crime boss who rules with an iron fist, manipulates every immoral deal he’s involved with and if he encounters a problem, he disposes of it making it disappear – forever.
Character: LOU – FBI GUY
Subtext Identity: Pompous government agent
Character Traits: snooty, authoritative, gullible, pompous
Subtext Logline: Lou – FBI Guy is a pompous government agent who secretly had a deal with Don Vito, and is lying and conspiring to enlist Jack because he thinks he can get more.
Setup:
It’s the beginning of Act 3 and this scene is set at the Burbank Funeral Home of Don Vito’s other brother. Lou the FBI Guy walks in on a conversation between Don Vito and Jack.
Don Vito questions Jack about the trip and if he had any problems, Jack counters with ‘no’ – it was smooth sailing.
Don Vito keeps probing. He asks if we met anyone on the way – maybe someone from the government … CIA, FBI? Again, Jack admits to nothing – it was an uneventful trip.
Lou, the FBI Guy, enters unannounced and talks about the fun times he and Jack had in Las Vegas. The Don eyeballs Jack – the old man isn’t happy. He questions Jack.
Jack crafts a story about the Las Vegas trip and his encounter with Lou, but he neglects to mention that Lou asked him to wear a wire. Lou believes Jack wears a wire, Jack does not.
Lou asks Jack if he’s ‘getting all this’? Jack responds, ‘that and much, much more’.
Lou intimates he’s looking for more from his deal with Don Vito. The Don suggests the deals been consummated – the subject has nothing left to give – figuratively and literally.
Two of Don Vito’s goons enter, Don Vito nods to them – they ready their weapons. Lou laughs while Jack rolls his eyes.
Jack stands, a goon turns to Jack, Lou takes a step toward Don Vito and is cut off by the other goon. The other goon draws his gun on Lou.
Don Vito summons the cooler to be brought in. He yanks out the contents and tosses the head to Lou. Jack looks on in wonder.
Scene with Subtext:
INT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY
The sterile office is tainted with the toxic characters and dirty dealings going on inside.
DON VITO
Jack, glad you made it on time. Did you encounter any problems?
JACK
No, none at all. It was a smooth ride. I take it the skies are clear in Geeville?
DON VITO
Not a cloud in the sky right now.
JACK
No squalls on the horizon?
DON VITO
Not yet. You okay?
JACK
Yeah, I’m okay. Feeling good.
DON VITO
I heard you had a couple of stowaways. You brought your nephews?
JACK
I wanted to surprise their mothers. And Sal wanted to take a dip in the ocean. We almost made that come true.
DON VITO
Did you look in the trunk?
JACK
The cooler?
DON VITO
Was there any other reason to look in the trunk?
Click – Jack and Don Vito turn to the office door that swings open and in struts LOU the FBI Guy
LOU
Well, if it isn’t my two favorite people from Geeville.
DON VITO
Jack, take some notes.
JACK
I’m recording everything.
Lou and Don Vito look to Jack and nod.
LOU
Don Vito, the government would like to speak with you.
DON VITO
I’m sure, but about what?
LOU
Got me, but I know I can help with that missing witness. And it won’t be that much.
DON VITO
I’m sure you can quote a good price for me. Are you talking about the guy Jack brought with him? Well, those pieces Jack brought.
Don Vito is the only one who chuckles.
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Armand Subtext relationship
What I learned doing this assignment is…
1. Make sure every main character has subtext.
If you have a lead character without subtext, you cut your chances of selling that script by 50%. Why? Because the lead parts are what sell A-list actors on your movie. You need someone bankable in order to get the movie made. Actors love subtext.
2. Make sure the subtext identity includes subtext.
Compare A) “Mike is game show host who…”
B) “Mike is a conniving game show host who…”
3. Sometimes, people get a story logline for the character mixed up with the character subtext logline.
3. Sometimes, people get a story logline for the character mixed up with the character subtext logline.
Example: Mike is a conniving game show host who is caught in bed with the maid by his new bride and now must win her back.
That tells the character’s part in THE STORY, but only gives us a little subtext. It tells us the character’s goal, but most of the time, goals have little to do with subtext. Try this one:
Example: Mike is a conniving game show host who secretly has sex with every woman he can while demanding his fiance be a virgin.
Naturally, we all hate this guy, but notice how much subtext you already see in this logline. Once you have a subtext logline like that, you can easily write scenes, dialogue, and relationships that have subtext in them. Do you see that?
4. Make sure the “subtext action” includes subtext.
In the case of our example, the character is a “womanizing jerk” who is doing it “secretly” and is also holding his wife-to-be to a much higher standard — that he is violating daily.
Now, compare that to this:
Example: Mike is a conniving game show host who OPENLY has sex with every woman he can while TAUNTING his wife about it.
This character delivers plenty of conflict, but very little subtext. Many times, this is the way people write their SCL. Why? Because the writer knows the subtext of the character and is presenting that subtext ON THE SURFACE.
If you want your characters to have subtext, you need to get clear on what that subtext is and the actions the character takes to hide it.
Your subtext character loglines to be as clear and concise as possible. They need to show “pure subtext.” The more pure the subtext in the logline, the easier it will be to write it.
SUBTEXT IN RELATIONSHIPS
Real life relationships can hardly exist without subtext. They are filled with shortcuts, common goals, and actions that are unique to those relationships. They also have unspoken needs, competing agendas, ulterior motives, deep emotions, and unresolved conflicts.
1. Design relationships that naturally cause subtext.
Consider how these relationships either cause or force subtext.
Cop versus criminal
Parent versus child
Salesman versus customer
Boss versus employee
Wife versus husband
Con-man versus their mark
Hooker versus John
Two old flames
2. Design circumstances around the relationships that increase the subtext.
Many times, it is the circumstance the characters are put in that heightens their need to speak or act is a way that hides the real meaning. Just create events and situations that will cause the characters to deceive each other in some way.
FOCUS ON HOW THE SUBTEXT OF YOUR CHARACTERS WILL INTERACT!
ASSIGNMENT
Follow these steps to write a scene with subtext.
1. Select three or more characters that will be in a relationship.
TYLER/MADDIE: Old flames that broke up “suddenly and badly”
TYLER/CHARLES: Half-brothers
MADDIE/CHARLES: Object of Desire vs Object of Hatred
2. Write subtext loglines for each character, making sure their subtext interacts with the other characters.
Tyler is the entitled ghost of a college jerk who was murdered by a masked killer who has to confront his biggest fear when the killer never caught returns for another spree.
Maddie is the badass survivor of the original massacre and Tyler’s girlfriend when he was alive who is obsessed with the possible return of the killer never caught.
Charles is the covertly sadistic half-brother of Tyler who was also in love with Maddie when he killed Tyler.
3. Put them in a series of situations that will increase their need to hide their true feelings/intentions/actions, etc.
SCENE:
INT. LIBRARY – MANOR – NIGHT
Maddie tiptoes inside, axe in hand.
CHARLES (O.S.)
Maddie.
Maddie discovers Charles, Tyler’s half-brother; older but still nerdy and unassuming.
MADDIE
Charles? What are you doing here?
CHARLES
I still have things to pick up.
(showing her)
The buyer knows I still have the key.
Charles approaches her, Maddie is hesitant.
CHARLES
You look the same.
MADDIE
I doubt that.
Tyler walks through the wall, hides as he discovers his half-brother.
CHARLES
Are you alright?
MADDIE
You have no idea what’s going on.
Charles hugs her. She lets her guard down.
CHARLES
It’s alright.
Maddie realizes Charles has blood in his hands as he caresses her hair. She charges at him with her axe. Charles intercepts it the attack.
Tyler jumps into Charles’ body.
CHARLES
(Tyler)
Lex said the body is just a vessel for the soul. He’s empty.
MADDIE
That’s why you can’t control him.
Charles cowers, pushing Tyler backwards out of his body.
Charles make eye contact with Tyler, stunned—
CHARLES
(cracking up, losing his facade)
I knew something was up. How are you, big brother? Long time no kill.
Tyler steps back. Maddie charges at Charles, he kicks her away.
Tyler is face-to-face with his killer. What to do? He runs away through the wall.
Charles at Maddie, unconscious. He chases after Tyler.
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DAY 3 BOB SMITHS SUBTEXT RELATIONSHIP
What I learned doing this assignment is…?
The importance of subtextual character loglines in order to hatch natural areas of the script where subtext will emerge.
THE THREE PRINCIPAL CHARACTERS SUBTEXT LOGLINES:
EMIL JANNINGS: Jannings is a great but temperamental actor who wants to maintain star-status in “The Blue Angel” and resents Marlene Dietrich’s upstaging him as a result of director Sternberg’s exclusive coaching of Dietrich for stardom to the neglect of any partnership with himself as the star of the film.
JOSEF von STERNBERG: Sternberg wants to make his protégé (Dietrich) into an international star through “The Blue Angel” unaware of the impact his attention toward her is having on Jannings, who, although he made Jannings the star of his film, he knows is prone to tantrums.
MARLENE DIETRICH all she wants is to follow the direction and guidance of her mentor and lover (Sternberg) and become a star and she regards Jannings as an overacting disturbed person.
OTHER CHARACTERS:
KURT GERRON, is a veteran actor in a supporting role in “The Blue Angel” who feels sorry for Jannings and listens to his complaints but does not want to get triangulated between Sternberg and Dietrich with Jannings whom he (like everyone) knows are having an affair.
HANS ALBERS is another supporting actor who also does not want to get triangulated but feels a duty to keep Sternberg informed about Jannings inappropriate and bizarre behaviors behind the scenes.
SITUATIONS THAT WILL INCREASE THEIR NEED TO HIDE THEIR TRUE FEELINGS/INTENTIONS/ACTIONS.
– Jannings collapses and does not get up until comforted and kissed by Sternberg.
– Jannings in spite of reassurances from Sternberg that his stardom is intact, nevertheless, walks off the set.
– Dietrich, at Sternberg’s urging, also tries to mollify Jannings to no avail.
– Dietrich then tells Sternberg, her true feelings about Jannings: that she regards Jannings as an overacting ham and a mentally unbalanced person who could ruin the film and her career.
– Sternberg tells Dietrich, they have a doctor on the set and maybe they should have a psychiatrist, as well, for Jannings. Sternberg: As director, I am the psychiatrist. Dietrich says, I’m the one who will need a psychiatrist.
– Most of Jannings subtext is in what he voices of his complaints to fellow cast-members Kurt Gerron and Hans Albers.
– Gerron tells Jannings that he doesn’t want to get into a fight between him and the lovers (Sternberg and Dietrich). So, he says to Jannings to do as he (Gerron) does, just follow Sternberg’s direction, keep acting accordingly until he says, “Cut/Print.” Nevermind the illusive partnership between a star and a director.
– Albers agrees with Gerron and tries to be supportive of Jannings but Albers reports what he observes about Jannings to Sternberg.
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Jodi’s Subtext relationship – Day 3
One thing I realized is I was intermingling my SCL with the story logline in some cases. By being clear on your character’s subtext and creating a strong SCL you can create more situations for their subtext throughout the story.
David’s SCL: David takes advantage of his Uncle who has dementia. Being his power of attorney, he is in full control of his Uncle’s money and can now afford the luxuries he craves. Afraid someone will come between him and his Uncle’s money he has a full spy cam system installed.
Keith’s SCL: Keith is an insecure control freak who always looks for a situation or people he can order around. Pretends he listens to others but he just gathers information to object to. He plays people for acceptance.
Mike’s SCL: Mike is resentful and angry at Keith’s behavior but vowed to himself to not push back because it would create conflict, and he wants to enjoy his visit with his friend Terry.
Terry’s SCL: He resents his Nephew, David, for controlling his life. He is short and cantankerous with him. He also resents that not one thing in this new home, that he is forced to live in with his Nephew, has not a trace of him or his belongings other than his little bedroom.
INT. HOME, KITCHEN – EARLY EVENING
TERRY, 80’s, diplomatic and genuine, has developed dementia and had to move to another state to live with his Nephew DAVID, 40’s, a control freak gone wild. Two of Terry’s friends have shared expenses to take a road trip to visit him from Terry’s home state. David’s home could be featured in Better Homes and Gardens, as it’s decorated beautifully. He is the ultimate host even when he’s not home. Unfortunately, not one item of Terry’s personality is displayed anywhere, no trace of Terry living there; no remnants or favorite furniture, anything from his old home.
The refrigerator is stacked with pre-made meals for lunches and dinners, enough to last the week. KEITH, 50’s, Henny Penny, the sky is falling incarnate, decides to heat the lasagna unbeknownst to MIKE, 50’s, laid back but cynical. Mike is making a sandwich. There is enough food to last through Keith’s and Mike’s visit.
KEITH: The lasagna will be ready in 50 minutes.
MIKE: I’m not a lasagna person.
KEITH: But all the meals are planned. They’ll go bad.
MIKE: Enough already, five days of this, we’re all adults here.
Mike becomes frosty with Keith.
KEITH: I can’t help it that Dave let me use his room and not you.
Mike looks at him sarcastically, as if he’s nutty.
Terry gets up from the kitchen table and goes over to the fridge.
KEITH: I have the lasagna in the oven Terry.
TERRY: Why would you do that? You’re ‘my’ guest.
KEITH: Dave asked me to.
TERRY: He controls me even when he’s not here.
KEITH: He’ll be back soon.
TERRY: Oh, fine, just what I wanted.
MIKE: You have the gift card ready?
KEITH: Yeah, I put on an extra fifty. So, used the full amount you gave me.
Mike doesn’t say anything, but is clearly not happy.
TERRY: I’m going to make a cheese dip, how does that sound.
KEITH: I don’t think you should do that, we have lasagna–.
TERRY: Didn’t you hear me, I don’t want lasagna.
MIKE: Cheese dip sounds great Terry.
Mike glares at Keith, who is clueless of Terry’s need to feel useful.
MIKE: (Sotto) Way to take his dignity away.
Terry’s head is in the fridge, and he’s shuffling food around.
TERRY: What?
MIKE: We said we’re hungry for cheese dip.
Terry becomes overwhelmed and frustrated.
TERRY: I can’t find it! I saw it an hour ago.
MIKE: It could be in the cupboard Terry.
TERRY: Yeah, I’ll look there.
KEITH: I’ll get it.
Mike can’t believe his ears. Why is Keith so clueless?
MIKE: Could you please go get the gift card, I’d like to sign it before Dave gets here.
KEITH: Sure.
Keith goes into the bedroom he is using as Terry scours the cupboards.
TERRY: Oh, here it is!
He brings out peanut butter and jelly.
MIKE: Cool, a good PB and J sandwich to hit the spot.
Keith comes back into the Kitchen with the gift card.
KEITH: I thought you wanted —
MIKE: We changed our minds.
Mike shakes his head to Keith.
KEITH: Well, if we eat sandwiches the rest of the food will go bad.
David walks down the hallway.
DAVE: Hey, all. Whew, what’s that great smell!? Lasagna?
He walks into the kitchen to join the three.
DAVE: Terry, why are you making a peanut butter sandwich?
TERRY: Cause that’s what I want to do, do you mind!?
Somewhat laughing sarcastically.
DAVE: Jeez, didn’t mean to upset you.
Keith approaches Dave with the card, without the opportunity for Mike to sign it.
KEITH: Here Dave, for all you’ve done for us this week, I wanted to give you a thank you.
Mike recites what he would have said in the card:
MIKE: Yes, WE wanted to give you a formal thank you for your wonderful hospitality.
Dave opens the card and reads it, then looks at the gift card.
DAVE: Wow, One fifty at my favorite restaurant is a lot, but I’m so glad you did. Thank you guys.
KEITH: Well, we went to the steakhouse around the corner–
MIKE: And it looked like a Denny’s so we passed on that one–
KEITH: I was worried we wouldn’t find a place you like, but found out you really like the one here better, I kept calling but no one called me back, I was worried they wouldn’t sell gift cards, so I went down personally and spoke to a Manager and a Hostess. It took a couple of days, but I was able to get it. I put an extra fifty on it.
DAVE: Well, thanks again, I’ve got to go get ready for my date. I need the room for a while Keith.
KEITH: I don’t need it.
Dave exits the room.
MIKE: You got? You did? There were two of us in that scenario, I’m on a budget Keith. You didn’t bother asking me if I was okay with the extra money.
KEITH: Well, you didn’t come with me when I bought it and I needed to make a decision right away, so I decided.
MIKE: You should have asked.
KEITH: (sarcastically) Well, if you want I’ll give you the extra twenty five that you gave me back.
MIKE: Yeah, that works.
Tenseness fills the room. Without a word Keith left the room.
TERRY: (laughing) He thinks he’s the boss, applesauce. People change.
Dave comes back in the room. Opens a bottle of beer. The room is still tense. Keith returns with Mike’s money.
KEITH: Here’s what I owe you.
MIKE: Thank you.
DAVE: You giving out money, I’ll take some (laughing).
KEITH: No, I’m just giving back money I owe to Mike for–
DAVE: I know, I know, I heard it on my video cam.
Terry gets irate.
TERRY: I knew you were watching me! How dare you! Can’t I have any privacy!? I haven’t lost my mind yet!
DAVE: Old man, I’m always watching you so get used to it.
TERRY: I should take you over my knee and whip your hide!
Terry leaves the room in a huff. Dave turns to Mike.
DAVE: When he dies, you’re taking his cat. If you don’t, he’s getting put down. Gotta go, hot date.
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Rob Bertrand’s Subtext Relationship
What I learned: I learned that if you want your characters to have subtext, you have to be clear on what that subtext is and the actions your character takes to hide it.
Character Name: Annie Andrews – Protagonist
Annie dates boys, to hide her true sexuality because she craves acceptance from her narrow-minded father.Character Name: Jocelyn Wilcox
Subtext Logline: Jocelyn is a spoiled army brat, who seduces Annie from her repressed lifestyle, but secretly her rebellious actions are a desperate cry for attention from her emotionally distant father.Character Name: George Wilcox
Subtext Logline: George is career military, who buries himself in work to avoid dealing with his embarrassing, rebellious daughter.Character Name: Becky Wilcox
Subtext Logline: Becky is a jealous trophy wife, who is locked in a mental game of chess with Jocelyn over the love and attention of George.BACKGROUND: This scene takes place in the middle of the 2nd act. After spending the night together, Annie and Jocelyn share their first kiss. When Jocelyn has to leave, the “woman in white” throws Jocelyn down the stairs, breaking both of her arms. This scene picks up, a few hours later at the hospital.
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM – DAY
Annie sits miles apart from her father, Jack. With her beanie pulled low, she bites at her fingernails. Her leg shakes incessantly.
The door bursts open to reveal Becky Wilcox. Her scowl as warm as ever.
BECKY
She’s asking to see you.Annie hops up.
INT. JOCELYN’S HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Becky leads Annie into the room.
Jocelyn lays in the hospital bed with both arms suspended in pure black casts. Her body a canvas of cuts and bruises.
BECKY
Keep it brief, m’kay? Your dad’s already pissed enough.JOCELYN
(medicated)
Whatever you say, Becky…Annie stands, locked in place as Becky collects her ginormous purse and pushes through the door.
As soon as the door CLICKS, Annie bursts into motion and jumps onto the edge of the bed. She showers Jocelyn with kisses on her cheeks and forehead. Tears form.
ANNIE
I’m sorry! I’m sorry…I’m so sorry!Jocelyn weathers the kiss storm, unable to move her arms.
JOCELYN
(medicated)
I’d hug you back…but I’m a little tied up, at the moment.Annie sits up, places a hand on Jocelyn’s heart.
ANNIE
Are…you? Are you okay?Jocelyn nods at a button connected to a wire.
JOCELYN
Press that.Annie presses the button.
ANNIE
What’s it do?A smile creeps across Jocelyn’s face.
JOCELYN
Dat’s da good shit…Annie smiles. Pushes the button a few more times.
ANNIE
Enjoy…Annie caresses Jocelyn’s cheek. Swipes her hair behind her ears.
ANNIE (CONTINUED)
If anything happened to you…I don’t know if I could take it.The drugs are kicking in.
JOCELYN
(groggy)
You…survived…your mom’s accident. You…can survive…anything…ANNIE
Jocelyn, what happened?Jocelyn squeezes her eyes shut. Searching her memory.
JOCELYN
(groggy)
I…I don’t know…for sure, but I remember…I remember saying…goodbye to you. At the top…the top of the stairs?ANNIE
I heard you scream…JOCELYN
I felt…hands. Hands on my back. Something…pushed me! I don’t remember…falling. But I do…remember…looking up. I saw…I…The grogginess is gone. Jocelyn’s eyes now wide with fear.
ANNIE
What? You saw, what?Jocelyn looks Annie straight in the eyes.
JOCELYN
I saw your mom…The horror of it sears Annie’s mind with fear.
ANNIE
My…my…Mom?JOCELYN
In her wedding dress…Annie shakes her head in disbelief. Breaks down in tears.
JOCELYN
I don’t…think. I don’t think she wants us to be together–Annie goes off like a bomb
ANNIE
(angry)
–She doesn’t get to choose who I love!Annie plants a kiss on Jocelyn that’s equal parts passion and release.
ANNIE (CONTINUED)
I choose. I choose you…Annie kisses her again.
The flash of a camera phone.
BECKY (O.S.)
That will come in handy.Annie and Jocelyn whip around to find Becky admiring the photo on her cell phone.
JOCELYN
For fucks sake, Becky! Can you give us a minute!?GEORGE (O.S.)
Language, Missy!Through the door, steps Major General GEORGE WILCOX, 40s. He’s an intimidating man in an army uniform. The medals on his chest reflect the years of stress and anger on his face.
Jocelyn’s body language stiffens.
Annie stands up.
George surveys the scene. He’s not happy.
JOCELYN
(nervous)
Dad…I–GEORGE
(stern)
–And who is this?Annie looks to Jocelyn. Jocelyn looks away.
JOCELYN
This…this is just a friend, Dad.Just a friend? Annie looks hurt.
GEORGE
Does this friend have a name?JOCELYN
Annie. Her name is Annie, dad.George eyes Annie suspiciously. His accusing eyes, boring straight through her.
GEORGE
You and I will discuss this in a moment. But first, I need to have a conversation with your…little friend, Annie…in private.George points Annie out the door.
CUT TO:
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PS 80 Michelle Damis Subtext Relationship
What I learned doing this assignment is that I understand what you are trying to do. I think it would be easier to do in a purely creative way not attached to a feature we are already knee deep in. But, I also understand we are also trying to do work on what we are trying to complete in this course. I’m curious if you gave options to complete an assignment with things not related to our current script as well as working on the script, if it may give participants freedom to step away, do the assignment from unrelated content then “absorb” and apply that knowledge to the script.
Osgood is a bored, idealistic Vampire, who is disappointed with humanity and the choices they make.
Nina is young woman with a painful secret she blames other mother and is generally suspicious of men.
Marin is a successful, retired attorney, wife and mother who is baffled as to why her only daughter despises her, she also is guilty of having a secret.
Jim is literally the best person anyone knows, good to the bone. He wanted a big family, like the one he had.
Jim and Marin are renting out a room in their home because Nina their daughter is driving them crazy with her treatment of her mother. Osgood needs a place to live and becomes their tenant.
-Osgood has to hide form everyone he is a vampire.
-Osgood has to hide his idealistic, existential tendencies from other vampires.
-Nina is hiding her trauma from everyone.
-Nina is overly suspicious of Osgood now living with her parents.
-Nina confronts Osgood both before and after she knows he is a vampire
-Jim hides he wanted a big family because his wife couldn’t have more kids.
-Jim knows Marin secret but she doesn’t know he knows.
-Nina is hiding she is going to therapy and doing volunteer work at a victims hotline
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Pablo’s Subtext Relationship
What I learned: While didn’t have the time to finish a scene, I think I’ve set something up here that could make the dynamic between Irma and her sons very interesting. This exercise gave me an idea on how to add more drama and conflict to the story by adding subtext to their relationship.
Character Name: Irma
Subtext Identity: Protective mother of two young boys
Character Traits: tough, loving, sensible, DEFIANT
Subtext Logline: Irma is a defiant mother of two who must stay out of reach from the gangsters who murdered her husband by sneaking her family across the border, all the while never telling her sons that they are in danger and that their father is dead.
Character Name: Antonio
Subtext Identity: Rebellious teen who wants to stay in Mexico
Character Traits: Bold, arrogant, unruly, IN DENIAL
Subtext: Logline: Antonio is a rebellious teen that argues with his mother and attempts to sabotage their escape to the states by divulging their location to the gangsters that are after them.
Character Name: Andres
Subtext Identity: Well behaved tween-ager that is thrilled to go states imagining some sort of Shangrila, aware of the danger their family is in.
Character Traits: Bright, patient, optimistic, SHY
Subtext Logline: Andres is a shy boy that goes along with his mother’s plan of escape and tries to avoid conflict by doing as he’s told, keeping quiet even when he knows when something is wrong
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INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
Morgan’s Waterman instructor tells her that she cannot use Waterman to harm anyone or it will come back on her. She can, from a distance, empower an abused wife to have the strength she needs To escape from her abuser and Morgan straightens a bit.
MORGAN approaches her Waterman Instructor, TANNER, after class as he’s gathering his materials to leave the room. SIERRA joins the conversation.
MORGAN
In the lecture today, you said that Waterman could be used to fight injustice and right wrongs.
SIERRA
(eagerly)
That’s what I’m interested in too.
Tanner gives them a sly glance as he stows items in his book bag.
TANNER
Fighting injustice and getting revenge are two very different things.
SIERRA
But you said righting wrongs.
Tanner rattles off the Waterman standard line with gusto.
TANNER
I meant getting good things for people who have been wronged — to make them whole.
MORGAN
Like getting justice for women who have been abused. Perhaps having their husbands get arrested or have an accident. You know, something bad happen to them as a means of justice.
Tanner steps back in consternation, almost fright.
TANNER
No, absolutely not. Waterman cannot be used to make bad things happen to others. The bad things bounce back to the practitioner. It simply doesn’t work.
SIERRA
(disappointed)
Then how can you fight injustice if nobody gets punished?
Tanner sets his bag down and goes back into simpering professor mode.
TANNER
Give me an example of what you mean.
SIERRA
My boyfriend dumped me. I want him to get dumped.
TANNER
That would not be a suitable use of the Waterman technique. Helping yourself to find true love and letting go of your pain from past relationships would be a perfect use of the technique.
Sierra warms to the idea.
SIERRA
Success is the best revenge, huh?
Tanner goes back to packing up his things.
TANNER
I don’t like the word revenge.
Seeing Sierra about to rejoin, Morgan intervenes.
MORGAN
A friend of mine runs a women’s shelter. She says many women go back to their abusive husbands. How could Waterman help them?
Tanner gets excited at the idea of selling more classes.
TANNER
This class would be wonderful for them. Waterman can help them strengthen themselves and find the courage to escape their bad situations. Solve their problems. Ask your friend at the shelter to recommend her, um, clients study and use the Waterman Technique. This would be an excellent class for them.
Morgan throws cold water on the idea.
MORGAN
Abused women aren’t likely to have the money or the ability to come to
MORGAN
an eight week class. They’re often prisoners in their own homes.
Tanner is disappointed, eager to escape.
TANNER
I see. Well, ladies, I have a few errands to run before my next class.
SIERRA
I’m totally going to make all her hair to fall out.
MORGAN
Who’s hair?
SIERRA
Jason’t new hag, Melody. Even that name sounds like someone who deserves punishment.
Morgan is astounded.
MORGAN
He just said you can’t use Waterman for that. What if your hair falls out instead?
SIERRA
Oh. There has to be a way…
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Elizabeth’s Subtext Relationships:
What I learned: this felt hard to me, but to think about subtext interpersonally is useful…
Ed: Subtext Identity: Ed is a gifted psychiatrist who’s running from/hiding the fact (afraid to say and deal with the fact) that he hasn’t done his own intimacy-related psychological work and that he’s consequently embarrassed by sex-talk.
Don: Subtext identity: thinks he’s Ed’s best friend and that Ed is confused/a mess; he’s determined to help him get back into the game of life.
Pat: old biker-chick who’s always felt that academic types are condescending her, is chronically out to needle Ed, whom she’s both curious about and annoyed by.
INT. GARDENS BY THE WATER – DON’S ROOM – NIGHT
MEN, including Don, Ed and Wade at a table with Fantasy Football sheets. Eyes on a TV where the ball is fumbled.
GROANS. CHEERS. Armchair commentary as—
GAME ANNOUNCER
There’s Half-time!
A commercial starts. MAN 1 flips channels. Stops on “Love, Actually.” The end of the holiday party scene.
DON
Holiday season, I guess.
MAN 2
Actually It’s “Love, Actually.” A pretty good show—the ladies like.
Suddenly: Heike Makatsch’s apartment. Ed gets up. Almost literally covers his eyes as her striptease—
DON
I like!
Begins to reveal red undergarments—
MAN 1
Definitely a feel-good show!
Chairs scooch. Eyes un-cloud. Utterances of more activation and interest than there was for the game as—
Ed walks to the refrigerator. Opens it
ED
Got any milk, Don?
More skin on the screen.
WADE
Damn! Why haven’t I seen this?
Wade backs into the kitchen, eyes bungeed to the TV as he reaches by Ed. Pulls a beer to his chest like it’s a tit.
WADE
Long time since I saw red panties.
MAN 2
I still got some. From High School!
MEN
No!
MAN 2
My first love.
Ed turns redder than Heike’s panties. Pulls out a carton of buttermilk. That Wade frowns at.
WADE
(Re: the buttermilk)
That’s nasty!
Eyes dart to Ed who lifts the buttermilk in explanation. Jet back to Heike as something occurs to Don—
DON
Ed. We’ve never heard your wild oat stories? You got any souvenirs?
Ed opens a cupboard—no glasses. Another—same.
ED
Nope.
Ed drinks from the carton as Don looks at him—suspicious
DON
How about a story?
Ed chokes and everyone turns again—is he dying?
Besides, Heike’s scene’s done, so for the next juice—
ED
Uh. Nothing really to—
He coughs. More than necessary as Wade picks up the trail.
WADE
A rich, strapping physician. A psychiatrist nonetheless! Didn’t Freud’s say suppressed sex makes you paralyzed? Tell us something for the locker room, Ed!
The rest of the boys start cajoling as Ed reacts to loud pounding on the door (as we heard before)—not good.
As someone lets her in (a beer case on each hip)—
PAT
Sorry I’m late, boyz.
MAN 2
Perfect timing. Ed about to tell us his high school exploits.
Off Ed’s very sick face—
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Amy’s Subtext relationship
What I learned doing this assignment is…
I struggled with this assignment. All the examples show characters interacting with one another through what they do as a career. My characters have specific jobs but mainly interact with one another on a personal level.
Andrea
Subtext logline: Andrea is Josh’s wife and Benjamin and Chloe’s mom. She is torn between her career and being a wife and mom. She’s also a news anchor who doesn’t really care about the news. She fights to get promoted to the 6 o’ clock anchor for the money and the attention.
Meagan
Subtext logline: Meagan is a nanny to Andre and Josh’s kids who just wants to steal Josh away from Andrea. She pretends to care about the kids to get in Josh’s good graces.
Josh
Subtext logline: Josh is legally married to Andrea, but got engaged to Meagan after Andrea disappeared. He wants Andrea to care more about being a wife and mother than she does her career. He’s also a detective who manages to interrogate his subjects politely. He has conflict in his family, but is never actually argumentative with anyone.
EXT. – CITY STEET – DAY
Josh and Andrea stroll down the street lined with colorful tents selling food. The smells are heavenly.
Matt, Andrea’s cameraman is following them because she’s technically on the job.
JOSH
So, shouldn’t you interview someone or something?
ANDREA
We go live at noon.
JOSH
Don’t you want to make a plan? Know who you’re going to talk to?
ANDREA
Anyone will do.
Josh looks at Andrea, puzzled.
JOSH
Why do you fight so hard for this job?
ANDREA
Without it, I’m just… Andrea Richards.
JOSH
Not just. You’re my wife. Benjamin and Chloe’s mom.
Andrea stares at Josh, incredulous.
ANDREA
You’re engaged to someone else.
JOSH
But you came back.
ANDREA
Does that mean the engagement is off?
JOSH
You tell me.
ANDREA
Why the interrogation detective?
MEAGAN (O.S.)
Josh! Josh!
Josh and Andrea turn to see Meagan running towards them.
MEAGAN
The school just called me. Benjamin is sick and needs to go home.
Meagan smiles an evil smile at Andrea knowing she’s just interrupted hers and Josh’s “date.”
JOSH
What? Did he throw up?
ANDREA
Does he have a fever?
MEAGAN
I don’t know.
JOSH
You didn’t ask?
ANDREA
Gah! Some nanny!
JOSH
I’ll go get him.
MEAGAN
I’ll go with you.
Meagan grabs Josh’s arm and looks up at him adoringly. Andrea seethes.
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Emmanuel’s Subtext Relationship
What I learned doing this assignment is creating subtext in several characters within a scene makes the script more intriguing. Characters should portray what happens in real life when people hide their true feelings, intentions and actions.
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