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Day 11 Assignment
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Cameron Martin’s Pass #5: Action / Reaction
What I learned doing this assignment is…just how many story beats of Action/Reaction can be in a film. Before I started listing any for my concepts, I watched THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE with my son and tried adding what I thought were the Action/Reaction beats of the movie, as well as the emotional moments, in order to get an idea of what target I should shoot for. Man alive, there were a number of turns that kept the movie moving at a brisk pace. I counted 19 Action/Reaction beats, but I’m sure there’re a few more I missed or could’ve added. Still, somewhere around that mark or above was the goal, and it really helped me flesh out more of the conflict throughout the story, and identify one area that needs work with GRAND THEFT ROAD TRIP. I’m hoping to work on that one more with the help of my wife, as she can help me to discover more details with a Daddy/Daughter relationship. Naturally, this has been a blind spot for me with the story, and I’m hoping to add more depth to this relationship/conflict to really make it something special.
OPEN WIDE
Concept: A parent who struggles to communicate with his out-of-control child must protect their child from an outbreak of parasitic aliens and get off world in order to save their child when the child gets infected.
Protagonist Goal: To survive and save child from being a victim of carnivorous aliens.
Protagonist Character Arc: From seeing his son as an obstacle or impediment to seeing his son as a contributor.
Main Conflict: The aliens, Isaiah, and the Liquidators.
Emotional Moments (List of Sacrifices in Ascending Order of Magnitude): Sully pushes his son away; Isaiah feels rejected and tries to get back at his Dad. Sully explodes on a scared Isaiah, causing Isaiah to recoil. Sully apologizes and connects with his son when he has to. Isaiah simply refuses being forced to do anything, even when his life is at stake. Sully holding his kid down and eventually locking him up. Isaiah getting infected. Sully mournful with his son and desperate for help. Isaiah leading Sully. Father and Son working together to save each other.
Plot in Structure:
1. Opening: Sully works on a project for his superiors while wrangling a child adamant on drawing as much attention as possible, until Sully explodes on the child.
INT. APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
(Opening Image) Flash forward of Sully holding his son, Isaiah, who is coughing uncontrollably. Sully apologizes to his son before a shotgun blast is heard.
INT. SPACE COLONY – NEW CONSTRUCTION ZONE – DAY
(Establish the Ordinary World) Establish the space colony on another planet, as we follow Sully working as a master carpenter with a team of other workers.
CONT.
(Theme Stated) Isaiah sneaks into the construction site and asks his dad to spend the day with him. Sully pushes him away, explaining there’s a lot of work he has to do.
CONT.
(Set Up) Isaiah plays pranks on his dad, eventually putting the construction site at risk, and nearly hurting a number of workers.
CONT.
(Call to Adventure and the Denial of that Call) Sully explodes on Isaiah in front of everyone. Isaiah runs away.
INT. CONSTRUCTION ZONE – MANAGER’S OFFICE – DAY
(Meeting with the Mentor) Sully talks with his boss in a meeting about his son, promising to get his son under control.
2. Inciting Incident: An alarm goes off, warning the colonists to gather in a bunker to wait out an infestation of parasitic alien worms until liquidators can arrive to exterminate the worms, but Sully can’t find his child before the bunker closes shut.
CONT.
(Catalyst) Alarm goes off warning of Aliens.
INT. SPACE COLONY – VARIOUS – DAY
Everyone is moving in a rapid but orderly manner, except Sully who’s fighting against the crowd to get to his son.
INT. SULLY’S APARTMENT – DAY
(Debate) Sully searches for his son high and low, but each time he gets close, Isaiah runs away. Sully promises reward for Isaiah, who ignores the temptation.
CONT.
(Acceptance of the Call) Sully is able to coax Isaiah out of hiding by apologizing for his earlier outburst, and they both run to the bunker.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about: Sully starts coming up with a plan for him and his son to survive and find a way inside the sealed bunker.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/BUNKER – NIGHT
Sully picks up Isaiah and runs with him, but Isaiah wants to run on his own. Sully resists this, promising Isaiah can run to his hearts content in the Bunker.
CONT.
(Crossing the Threshold with a minor sacrifice) Sully and Isaiah get to the bunker too late. It’s sealed shut. They’re stuck on the outside with the aliens.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
(First Trial/Forging Allies) Sully physically restrains Isaiah, who doesn’t want to be carried anymore. An alien host pursues them.
CONT.
Sully runs with Isaiah in tow, and manages to lock the alien behind a door.
CONT.
Sully takes the both of them to another room where he believes he can fortify their position and prepare for the worst to come.
CONT.
Isaiah starts kicking and screaming, drawing the attention of aliens and alien hosts.
INT. LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
Sully pins Isaiah to the floor behind a counter and covers his mouth, begging him to stay quiet while he drags him to a corner room. Isaiah starts hitting and crying.
CONT.
Aliens rush in.
CONT.
Sully locks door to corner room and goes to work crafting a weapon, while Isaiah yells at him.
CONT.
(Second Trial/Escaping Death with a moderate sacrifice) Sully fights off the first wave of hostile aliens. Isaiah wants to help, but Sully refuses harshly.
CONT.
In retaliation, Isaiah picks up a weapon. Sully tries to get the weapon back, but Isaiah swings the weapon at him. Sully threatens Isaiah, which leads to Isaiah giving up the weapon.
CONT.
Sully fortifies apartment single-handedly, while Isaiah sulks in the corner.
CONT.
(Reaping the reward) Sully discovers a way inside the bunker by reviewing schematics.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1: Sully sets out on his own after locking his son in a secure location.
INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS/HALLWAYS – NIGHT
(Approach to the Inner Cave/Gaining Confidence) Sully locks Isaiah in a closet to keep him safe while he ventures out alone to find out if the schematics are correct. He apologizes but insists it’s for his own good.
5. Mid-Point: Sully reaches the bunker but discovers all the residents were infected and are now monsters. Sully’s child is able to save him after breaking out of his confinement, but gets infected as a brood mother as a result.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/BUNKER – NIGHT
(Midpoint/Moment of Death and Rebirth) Sully discovers he wasn’t the only one who found a way into the bunker when all of the residents are found to be infected.
INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
Isaiah is able to find a way out of his confinement and track down his dad.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS/BUNKER – NIGHT
Isaiah is able to save his dad at the last moment, and the two escape through the vents.
INT. VENTS
Isaiah insists on a different way from his Dad. Sully drags Isaiah in the direction he believes they need to go.
CONT.
(Securing the Macguffin or Refusing Temptation) The two come across an alien spore launcher that infects Isaiah.
INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
Dad asks Isaiah why he ever left the safety of the closet he was locked in. Isaiah cries and hits himself.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2: The liquidators arrive to kill the infected and any survivors, but Sully and his son find a way to sneak onto the liquidator’s vessel to get back to earth.
INT/EXT. SPACE COLONY – NIGHT
(Bad Guys Close In) Times up. The Liquidators arrive in force to exterminate the alien threat and any infected.
INT. SPACE COLONY LIVING QUARTERS – NIGHT
(All is Lost) Sully carries Isaiah to another room before Liquidators burst into the room they were just in. Isaiah starts to cough
CONT.
Sully tells Isaiah to resist the need to cough, but he can’t help it, drawing the attention of more aliens to kill, along with liquidators. Sully tries covering Isaiah’s mouth with a rag and searches for cough suppressants, but the coughing gets worse.
CONT.
(Dark Night of the Soul) Sully apologizes to his son, who’s trying his best to resist the need to cough, while the two are surrounded by aliens and liquidators alike.
CONT.
(Prepare for Battle/Macguffin comes into play) Sully asks his son for help to sneak the both of them into the Liquidator’s ship to get to a medical bay.
INT. SPACE COLONY HALLWAYS AND HIDEAWAYS) – NIGHT
(Execution of Plan A) Isaiah sneaks Sully around the carnage surrounding them.
CONT.
Liquidators break through one wall, finding the two. Sully and Isaiah make a break for it, narrowly escaping.
CONT.
Liquidators pursue, but Sully releases one of the Aliens he locked up earlier.
INT. LIQUIDATOR VESSEL – NIGHT
(False Victory) Sully and Isaiah make it to the ship! They immediately go into hiding again.
7. Crisis: Sully and his son are caught, and they fight through hell to stay alive and get to a medical bay.
INT. LIQUIDATOR VESSEL – NIGHT
(Falling into the Trap) Sully and Isaiah are found out due to Isaiah’s coughing that’s getting worse. Liquidators swarm in force.
CONT.
(Opponent’s Victory at Hand) Sully and Isaiah evade and run like hell to the Medical Bay.
8. Climax: Sully seals himself and his son in the medical bay and they work together to extract the parasites within him before they hatch.
INT. LIQUIDATOR VESSEL/MEDICAL BAY – NIGHT
(Hero Goes Alone/Last Ditch Effort) They make it to the medical bay and lock themselves inside. Sully gets as many supplies out as he can.
CONT.
Isaiah asks how he can help, and Sully describes what he’s looking for.
CONT.
Sully finds everything he needs, but before he can operate, Isaiah demands that he be the one to give the instructions.
CONT.
(Final Battle/Greatest Sacrifice) Sully complies, giving Isaiah pointers on what instructions to give Sully, and the two work together to extract the alien eggs in Isaiah’s chest.
CONT.
The extracted eggs start to hatch.
CONT.
Sully kills the hatching eggs.
9. Resolution: Sully and his son save themselves, forming a closer relationship than either could’ve imagined after the torture they endured together.
INT. LIQUIDATOR VESSEL/MEDICAL BAY – NIGHT
(Self-Revelation/Realizing or Damning the Soul) Sully saves his son, with his son’s help, just in time.
(Closing Image) Father and Son embracing.
POSSESSING EDEN
Concept: An android in search of redemption will defy her creator by stealing the code to creating life in an effort to bring the person she killed back to life.
Protagonist Goal: To bring Pan back to life.
Protagonist Character Arc: From allowing self-destructive guilt and faith to harm her to confidently charting her own path on healing through forgiveness and empathy.
Main Conflict: Adam’s armies, Copy’s ridicule, the Underworld’s horrors, Copy’s attacks, her siblings assaults, and eventually Adam himself.
Emotional Moments (List of Sacrifices in Ascending Order of Magnitude): Bringing Pan to the Upper floors. Creating Copy and finding out after what sacrifice was required. Making the decision to bring Pan back. Turning against her creator. Copy’s manipulations. Reincarnating the first time. Facing the citizens. Out with Calvex. Blame from Copy. Copy’s attack/healing. Deciding to fight her creator. Healing her creator.
Plot in Structure:
1. (Active) Opening – Janus saves a helpless boy, Pan, from a raging robot at the intersection of the upper floors of a massive nine story tower and the underworld (the lower nine floors), and takes the boy to her creator, Adam, to give the boy eternal life.
INT. RUINED LOBBY
We open on the first floor of a massive nine story high rise. It’s a dark, maze-like ruin with holes in the wall that weave from one room to another, along with what appear to be grave sites toppled on top of each other. There, a child, Pan, hides in the shadows from a mechanical being that just killed both of his parents. Janus, an android with the ability to “possess” different machines, protects and saves Pan from the killer robot.
Note-Possessing means she not only hacks the machine, but penetrates it and wraps the armor of the robot around her, like a cyberpunk version of a ghost going inside of and possessing a person.
CONT.
Pan is missing a chip in his neck, something he needs to be admitted through the Afterlife Protocol. Pan is from the underworld, where they can’t be reincarnated or have everlasting life, and was crossing the border between the underworld and the upper nine floors with his family when they were attacked.
INT. ELEVATOR / TOP FLOOR PENTHOUSE
Janus takes him to her creator, Adam, to ensure the promise of eternal life.
INT. VOID
Adam, in a sermon to people plugged into a virtual meeting, recounts a story of how he constructed the tower as a last bastion of mankind and created Guardian Angels, like Janus, in his image, so that they would have dominion over the world.
INT. STAIRWELL
Janus competes in a game with her siblings to test their skill in protecting the first 9 floors from the forces of the underworld: the bottom 9 floors that live underground in rebellion. Janus wins with Adam watching.
CONT.
Adam invites Janus to a revelation of a power she didn’t know she had.
2. Inciting Incident – As Adam’s favorite child, Janus is taught to create a copy of herself under his guidance, but, unbeknownst to her in doing so, she also kills Pan, whose body was needed to create the copy.
INT. TOP FLOOR PENTHOUSE
Adam teaches Janus to duplicate herself. It is an act that relies on deleting the consciousness of the host, in order to use their body. However, Janus performs this act without being told that duplicating herself would bring a permanent end to the host, Pan, in a world where death should be impossible.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about. – Janus, with the help of her Copy, plans to steal Adam’s code that allowed her to be made, and venture into the underworld to use said code in order to resurrect her victim.
INT. JANUS’ ROOM
Janus, distraught, refuses to believe she can’t bring Pan back to life. She makes a plan with her Copy to resurrect Pan.
Together, they’ll steal the code Adam used to create her and her siblings. Next, they’ll venture to the source of the Nexus, the platform for the Afterlife Protocol, deep inside the underworld. Together, they plan to merge the code with the Copy’s body, which was the victim’s body, hoping the combination of latent data within said body and Adam’s code will bring the individual back to life again, essentially rewriting the information that once made up the consciousness of the individual.
INT. TOP FLOOR MAINFRAME
Janus, with the help of her double, breaks into Adam’s personal library to steal the code.
INT. STAIRWELL
Janus and Copy evade Janus’ siblings on their way down the first 9 floors, refusing to fight them.
INT. LOBBY
Adam begs Janus not to go, offering absolution in the form of erasing hers and everyone else’s memory of the victim so that no guilt can be felt or placed.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 – Janus rejects Adam’s offer of absolution, which is just erasing people’s memories, and abandons the upper floors to descend into the underworld, which prompts Adam to split into multiple versions of himself who all fight each other for supremacy, with the most vengeful of Adam’s copies winning and setting his sights on destroying his own creation.
INT. LOBBY
Janus apologizes to Adam, promising to return as soon as she brings Pan back. Janus and her Copy then cross into the Underworld, taking a risk based on Janus’ own developing morality, instead of opting for the easy way offered by her creator.
INT. VOID
Adam addresses humanity and ostracizes Janus as a fallen angel and demon who must be stopped.
INT. PENTHOUSE
In private, Adam splits into two different versions of himself. One side argues Janus should be shown the love a daughter deserves. The other half argues Janus refused the power and knowledge she possesses, and that it is the same as refusing him, since she was made to be like him. In the second version’s mind, he was first rejected by his creator long ago. Now, he’s being rejected by his own progeny. The two halves fight, one for Janus and the other for his pride. The prideful half kills the loving half.
INT. HIDEOUT
Adam sells Janus out to a group a slavers: The first part of a trap. When the slavers ask Adam why, he offers them the question of how many Adam’s they think there are, showing his hand that the version they’re conversing with may be unique to the one the underworld is familiar with.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SECOND FLOOR
Copy guilts Janus and takes the lead.
CONT.
Janus and Copy confront cyborg slavers and are captured. Copy questions Janus’ motives and leadership, and the schism between the two first appears.
INT. UNDERWORLD – THIRD FLOOR – PRISON CELLS
Janus and Copy meet Calvex, a mute gladiatorial slave. He agrees to help them out of the Arena and guide them through the underworld, if they can rescue him from the Lightning Run and bring him his “voice.” Copy doesn’t agree with this plan, as Calvex is an underworlder, and aligning with him would contradict their faith in Adam. “Two wrongs can’t make a right.”
INT. UNDERWORLD – THIRD FLOOR – PIT
Gladiator battle. Janus and her Copy try to recover Calvex’s “Voice,” which is the arena prize. The fight is a way to punish and execute Calvex, who is running the Lightning Run. Calvex must fight electrical impulses to dodge and survive deadly obstacles.
CONT.
Janus secures the Voice, overcoming the gladiator pit’s opponents, and rescues Calvex from the lightning run. But the gladiatorial ring leader, Alrick, uses a shape-shifting, nano bot weapon to mortally damage Janus.
CONT.
Then, a platoon of Adam’s robot sentries enter the ring. The people of the underworld fight back, and it quickly turns into a riot. The sentries reach Janus and tear her apart.
5. Mid-Point – After Janus cheats death and joins forces with Calvex, a guide to the underworld, Copy, who wants Janus to see justice for her actions, makes a plan with Adam to set a trap.
INT. CYBERSPACE
Janus learns she can reincarnate anywhere, since she was given “free will.” She returns to life inside her Copy’s body and shares it with her.
INT. UNDERWORLD – THIRD FLOOR – PIT
Copy resists Janus’ control and pursuit to give Calvex his voice.
CONT.
Janus forced Copy to give Calvex his voice, which allows him to help the two fight through the mayhem, recovering one of Janus’ arms that was torn off, by gaining control of one of the gladiator pit’s mechanized giants and escape with the two Januses.
INT. PENTHOUSE
Adam devises a plan to break Janus by using the family of the person she killed.
CONT.
One of the angels asks Adam why there’s so much effort being put into destroying Janus when she’s trying to bring someone back to life. When the angel doesn’t buy the argument that Janus betrayed them, Adam splits into two different versions of himself again, one that agrees, and another that recontextualizes the argument as sedition and justifies the old testament flooding of the earth. That version of Adam kills both his copy and the angel, his own child.
INT. UNDERWORLD – FIFTH FLOOR
Copy makes a point to Janus that the path she’s on, first leaving the upper floors, then aligning with an Underworlder, and lastly cheating death is a denial of the justice she’s due, and questions whether Janus’ quest to resurrect Pan is actually good for Pan or if it’s just a way for Janus to feel better about herself.
CONT.
Adam links a conversation between Janus and the citizens she once defended. Janus’ Copy stays out of the way and watches Janus feel the full weight of her guilt.
CONT.
Copy reaches out to Adam while Janus and Calvex are asleep, and asks if she may be invited to bring justice to Janus. Adam tells the Copy how to kill the original, explaining that for people like them, killing parts of yourself is necessary to become pure and holy. However, Janus’ will is too strong for Copy to easily win, and a trap will need to be set for Copy’s victory to be assured.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SEVENTH FLOOR – VILLAGE
Janus reaches a village on the seventh floor of the underworld. Janus is thanked by the village for saving Calvex.
CONT.
The original Janus is given a robot surrogate to possess, so that she and her Copy can be in separate bodies again. In addition, the surrogate body is augmented with one of Janus’ original arms that was saved in the gladiator pit, so she can still perform the act of possessing machines and resurrect the person she killed.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SIXTH FLOOR – HUNTING GROUNDS
Cavlex takes the original Janus hunting to show what life is like in the underworld, apart from the horrors faced before, and that his people are worth fighting for as well. When Janus questions whether Calvex, an underworlder, is worth listening to, Calvex reassures her quest.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SEVENTH FLOOR – VILLAGE
Copy stays with the village to guard it, and allows the village to be attacked by Adam’s Guardian Angels.
CONT.
Copy hides with another child and gaslights her as her village is being attacked.
CONT.
Calvex and Janus return to the village to stave off the Guardian Angels. Copy pretends to join them and blames Janus for abandoning her and the villagers, just like she abandoned Pan.
INT. UNDERWORLD – EIGHT AND NINTH FLOORS – CONT.
Calvex leads Janus past the 8th floor, and to the 9th floor, which is littered with robotic corpses, like a hundred battles had taken place on this one floor, and no victories were won. Janus tries to bring her victim back to life. It appears to work, but…
INT. UNDERWORLD – NINTH FLOOR
Adam and Copy snap the trap, playing a trick on Janus by heightening the horror of the murder that lead to the creation of the Copy, and preventing the resurrection of Pan. Janus is mentally broken.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2 – Janus, Copy, and Calvex successfully reach the place where they can bring her victim back to life, but the trap laid earlier springs, and Copy ties to kill her counterpart; but when Calvex sacrifices himself to save Janus, she becomes inspired to heal her guilt and merge with her Copy instead of killing it or succumbing to it.
INT. UNDERWORLD – NINTH FLOOR
The Copy attacks Janus. Janus holds her own to defend Calvex, but her copy begins to duplicate herself amongst the dead robots and overwhelm Janus. Meanwhile, Janus refuses to copy herself again due to the guilt associated with the act, and is about to be killed by her dark side.
CONT.
Calvex is able to save Janus at the last moment, but at the cost of his own life.
CONT.
Janus, influenced by Calvex’s sacrifice, is able to move past her guilt, forgiving herself, and begin reducing her Copy’s army until she merges with her Copy, instead of killing her, and becomes a whole person again.
7. Crisis – Janus tries to upload Calvex through the Afterlife Protocol to bring him back, but Adam holds Calvex hostage in the form of digital code, preventing his reincarnation, and declares to Janus he’ll destroy the world and start anew because “that’s what gods do.”
INT. UNDERWORLD – NINTH FLOOR
Janus is able to plug Calvex into the Nexus to try to admit him through the Afterlife Protocol. But a firewall created by Adam prevents her from resurrecting her friend. If Calvex is to be brought back to life, Janus must eliminate her creator, Adam.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SEVENTH FLOOR – VILLAGE
Janus returns to the village to give the bad news and ask for help, promising to bring the people of the underworld the opportunity for eternal life through the Afterlife Protocol.
INT. TOP FLOOR – PENTHOUSE
Adam, upon losing control in the Underworld, sees an Omen.
INT. UNDERWORLD – SEVENTH FLOOR – VILLAGE – COMMS ROOM
He threatens Janus he’ll destroy the world again and start over, “because that’s what gods do.”
8. Climax – Janus, with the help of the underworld, returns to the upper floors and both defeats Adam and resurrects Pan.
INT. UNDERWORLD – MULTIPLE FLOORS
Janus gathers forces in the Underworld to take the upper 9 floors and rid the world of Adam.
INT. STAIRWELL
Together, they fight their way up each of the 9 upper floors. The majority of the force takes on the brunt of the defenses…
INT. VENTS
Meanwhile, Janus leads a separate, smaller party to Adam’s library, where his code is kept.
INT. TOP FLOOR – ENTRANCE
Her siblings intercept her though, and she fights them again under different circumstances. Janus breaks through…
INT. TOP FLOOR – MAINFRAME
Reaching the mainframe and source of Adam’s code. She plugs in and reaches the Nexus, a digital reality where we see the Afterlife Protocol in action.
INT. CYBERSPACE
Adam reveals to Janus that in order to kill him, she would have to erase her and her siblings’ code as well, since all of their code is intertwined with his. Adam offers eternity with Calvex, the man who helped bring her out of depression, in exchange for allowing Adam to rebuild.
Adam cannot destroy the world, because as a computer virus, he’s been contained to the tower. But, Janus and Calvex could live an eternity outside of the tower, where Adam also reveals that the world is much bigger and still full of life; the tower is not the last bastion of mankind as previously taught.
CONT.
Janus chooses a third path upon recognizing her code is intertwined with his. She instead shares her code with Adam’s broken code, and helps him to self-actualize.
9. Resolution – The Afterlife Protocol within The Tower is free again, allowing Calvex, Pan and the others living there to reincarnate and live outside of The Tower, where we see that it is simply one small building in a vast and vibrant city on another planet.
INT. UNDERWORLD – NINTH FLOOR
Pan is resurrected, along with Calvex.
INT/EXT. TOWER – METROPOLIS
The Afterlife Protocol within the tower is free again. People living there are permitted to reincarnate and live outside of the tower, where we see that it is simply one tower in a vast and vibrant city on another planet.
GRAND THEFT ROAD TRIP
Concept: A driving instructor finds out their child commits grand theft auto on a regular basis during a defensive driving course where their child is behind the wheel and the cops are on their tail. As their child’s hostage and on the run from both the cops and the crime crew their child spurned, the two now have to mend the relationship that was broken.
Protagonist Goal: To live free from the weight of expectations and responsibility.
Protagonist Character Arc: Running from consequences at other’s expense to giving up her freedom to avenge and protect others.
Main Conflict: The Dad’s criticisms, the cops’ and The Lieutenant’s attempted arrests, and The Boss’ mob and hitman’s attempted murders.
Emotional Moments (List of Sacrifices in Ascending Order of Magnitude): The Dad finding out about his daughter’s late night activities, The Kid learning about The Fence’s demise, The Kid confessing to her dad. The Kid caring for her dad who’s bleeding out. The Kid losing her dad. The Kid going after the Boss. The Kid turning herself in. The Kid leading a driving course, just like her dad.
Plot in Structure:
1. (Active) Opening – The Kid breaks into a Lamborghini Countach and takes it on a joyride, evading cops along the way, before leaving it and successfully sneaking into her parent’s house.
INT. GARAGE – LAMBORGHINI COUNTACH – NIGHT
(Opening Image) Kid’s bright eyes, reflecting her innocence and immaturity. She hot wires the car to take it for a spin.
INT. GARAGE – NIGHT
(Establish the Ordinary World) Kid takes the car out slow at first.
EXT. GARAGE / GATE – NIGHT
Kid gets the car as far as the gate of a luxurious estate. She gets caught by the guard, but escapes anyway.
EXT. STREETS – NIGHT
Kid joyrides like it’s a video game, evading cops along the way.
EXT. NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Kid parks the car and jumps the fence. Cops swarm neighbor’s house.
EXT. BACKYARDS – NIGHT
Kid parkours across neighbor’s yards.
EXT. DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Kid hot-wires a sedan. Pulls out of the driveway.
EXT. PARKING LOT – NIGHT
Kid parks the sedan in a parking lot adjacent with another neighbor’s fence.
EXT. HOME BACKYARD / KID’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Follow Kid to their home, a couple houses down from the parking lot.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
Kid sneaks into the house, undetected. She got away with everything…for now.
INT. HOME – DAY
(Theme Stated) Kid goes downstairs in a JROTC uniform. Dad and Kid talk about college choices and a minor speeding ticket – Kid isn’t involved much in the conversation as Dad recounts a story of when he was her age and hid from his parents that he got a speeding ticket, and what kind of trouble he found himself in when they found out. Dad requires Kid to go through a defensive driving course with him.
INT/EXT. DRIVER’S ED CAR
(Set Up) Kid and Dad get into an embarrassing car. Dad tells Kid how to do everything, even though we know Kid can handle a vehicle just fine.
2. Inciting Incident – A cop is able to identify the Kid while she’s on a defensive driving course with her father, and attempts to pull the two over.
INT/EXT. DRIVER’S ED CAR
Kid is identified by a cop based on a camera image from the previous night. Lights go up.
CONT.
Dad tells Kid to pull over. Kid pulls over.
CONT.
Backups arrive suddenly. Cops all get out and draw weapons, making demands to “get out of the car with your hands up!”
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about. – The Kid slams the gas and takes her dad for the ride of his life as she successfully evades law enforcement, with the dad left wondering what happened to his daughter, and how does he get her back.
INT/EXT. DRIVER’S ED CAR
(Call to Adventure and Denial of that Call) Kid makes a split decision, showing her dad that she’s a devil behind the wheel. Gets away from the cops.
CONT.
(Meeting with the Mentor) Kid confesses to Dad. Kid – “It’s not my fault.” Dad – “Where did I go wrong?” Showing difference in mindset between the two and what each has to figure out for the story.
INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Lieutenant works on a case involving The Boss. Catches word of the Kid and requests a profile on her.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 – The Dad chooses to go with his daughter, instead of turning her into the cops, so that he can mend the relationship he didn’t know was broken.
EXT. GAS STATION – DAY
(Catalyst) Car is almost out of gas/Kid is forced to finally stop at a gas station. Mom calls Dad and reveals the two are on TV and wanted, wants to know what’s going on.
INT. DRIVER’S ED CAR
(Debate) Dad discusses with mom whether to turn in daughter or not.
CONT.
(Acceptance of the Call) Dad hangs up, deciding to join Kid to find out what happened to his child.
INT. MOB BOSS’ OFFICE – DAY
(Crossing the Threshold with a minor Sacrifice) Kid and Dad appear on TV. Gate Guard confirms that the Kid on TV is the same one that stole the Mob Boss’ prized Countach. It’s personal, as he sends crew to pick her up.
EXT. HOLE-IN-THE-WALL DINER – DAY
Kid parks wanted car in lot behind diner.
INT. HOLE-IN-THE-WALL DINER / ADJACENT CORNER STORE – DAY
(First Trial/Forging Allies) Kid takes Dad to a fence next door to the diner they used to frequent when they were younger. The fence hooks them up with disguises and helps them pickpocket the car keys off a patron.
CONT.
Kid and Dad get dressed in new clothes and disguises.
CONT.
Dad reminisces about diner being a favorite of theirs growing up.
EXT/INT. HOLE-IN-THE-WALL-DINER / ADJACENT CORNER STORE – DAY
(Second Trial/Escaping Death with a moderate Sacrifice) Lieutenant catches up with Kid and Dad, wanting to ask some questions. The Kid is able to hide and escape, while the Dad speaks with the Lieutenant. Kid catches sight of her crew entering the building, and cops on the outside.
CONT.
Kid grabs Dad and avoids the crossfire on their way out of the diner.
CONT.
(Reaping the Reward) Kid pulls out in someone’s Civic Type-R, outrunning everyone.
5. Mid-Point – The Boss puts a hit on The Kid.
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM
The fence is brought in for questioning and killed by the Mob Boss.
CONT.
Boss sets up a bounty on the kid, meeting with a hitman.
EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL GROUNDS – NIGHT
(Approach to the Inner Cave/Gaining Confidence) Kid and Dad flee to the Kid’s old school to hide out.
CONT.
(Midpoint/Moment of Death and Rebirth) “This is where it happened.” Kid reveals to Dad she was abused at school by classmates while teachers and admins looked the other way.
CONT.
(Securing the Maguffin or Refusing Temptation) Dad and Kid connect on the need to control their lives to avoid previous tragedy. New memory is made.
CONT.
(Bad Guys Close In) Hitman and Cops close in when Janitor sees the Kid and Dad and calls them in.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2 – The dad is shot in the crossfire between cops and the hitman.
EXT. MIDDLE SCHOOL GROUNDS – NIGHT
(All is Lost) Dad gets shot in the crossfire between the cops and Lieutenant and the hitman.
7. Crisis – The Kid gets herself and her dad out okay, but her dad’s bleeding out.
INT/EXT. CIVIC TYPE-R – NIGHT
Kid tries running, but Hitman catches up. Kid hits the Hitman with the tail of her car and launches him into the side of the school, killing him.
CONT.
(Dark Night of the Soul) Kid takes Dad to Hospital.
EXT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Arrive at Hospital, but it’s too late. Kid takes off, running away.
8. Climax – After watching her father die, the Kid cuts a deal with the Lieutenant and goes after The Boss.
EXT. INTERSTATE – NIGHT
(Prepare for Battle/Maguffin comes into Play) Kid calls 9-1-1 and demands to speak with the Lieutenant. She promises to turn herself in if she can go after the Mob with him.
INT/EXT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
(Execution of Plan A) Kid goes after the Mob, leading Cops and the Lieutenant along the way.
CONT.
(False Victory) Kid makes it to warehouse, Cops and Lieutenant search the premises for her and come across evidence of Mob’s efforts.
CONT.
(Falling into the Trap) Kid falls into trap set by Mob boss. Has to escape.
CONT.
(Opponent’s Victory at Hand) Mob Boss is a better driver than even the Kid. Runs her down and cripples her, requiring her to drive with one hand.
CONT.
(Hero Goes Alone/Last Ditch Effort) Kid is more reckless than Mob Boss, and gets the upper hand.
CONT.
Kid and Boss race. Kid wins.
9. Resolution – The Kid sets up a memorial to her father and dedicates her life and love of cars to his memory by becoming a stunt driving instructor.
EXT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Kid accepts the handcuffs. Goes willingly with cops.
INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Lieutenant makes a deal with the Kid to help him with more Grand Theft Auto Cases in exchange for less jail time.
EXT. DRIVING LOT
Kid’s eyes, now years older, looking over a lot where she helps teens, including her own, through driving courses.
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Dev Ross – Pass #5 Action/Reaction
What I learned in doing this assignment was the nuance I found. As my protagonist experiences obstacles and reacts to those obstacles, I more clearly see his emotional life emanate from his rationalizations and stubborn adherence to his false narrative. It helped me more understand his backstory of trauma. Also, as my first act gets stronger in its set-up, I now need to let its repercussions unfold far more in the second act. I have a ways to go on that…
1. Tell us your concept: Outshined by the latest hate groups, a fading KKK Grand Dragon plots the murder of a black leader, but when he wakes the next morning, he is that black leader who is suddenly struck with a plan to murder the Grand Dragon.
Protagonist Goal: To regain his power and respect.
Protagonist Character Arc: Passion to humiliation. Loss to anger. Anger to revenge. Revenge to realization.
Main Conflict: Gain his goal or lose his family.
Action: Caine speaks
Reaction: Caine’s rejected
Action: Caine complains to wife
Reaction: She tells him time to give up
Action: Caine rejects Elijah
Reaction: Elijah persists
Action: Caine cleans his rifle to kill
Reaction: Wakes up as his opposite
Action: Cain shoots at Lincoln
Reaction: Lincoln escapes
Action: Cain runs down a black man
Reaction: Lincoln chases after him
Emotional List:
Hurt over being mocked by White Supremacists
Hurt over wife’s feelings about Lincoln
Outraged by his daughter
Mocked by his peers at cross burning
Torn over his feelings for Elijah
Jealous over Lincoln’s rising fame
Righteous hatred as he pursues Lincoln
Fear as Lincoln pursues him
Realization when he realizes they are each other
1. EXT. FAIR GROUNDS – SUMMER DAY
A REPORTER speaks against the b.g. of harsh winds due to climate events while reporting the rise of extremism as Grand Dragon CAINE JAMESTON speaks at a White Supremacists Conference. Crowd boos him. He’s a SINO, a Supremacist in Name Only. He’s left hurt and confused.
2. INT. CAINE HOME – NIGHT
Caine’s wife, LIZZIE, saw it all on local news. Maybe it’s a sign: time to leave the hate business to others. Focus on their family. He reminds her that he does it ‘for family and for all white Christian families to save their country.’ She’s got to go – hurry to work night shift at hospital. Their daughter is off with boyfriend they’ve yet to meet. He eats dinner alone. Checks news. More on odd weather. Ignores it as fear-mongering. Watches coverage on WS rally. A new, younger speaker, ADAM SPENCER, from The Sons of Patriots gets rousing response: “Jews will not subvert us! Blacks will not pervert us!”
1. INT. CAINE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Caine tosses and turns, grabs his nightstand Bible, gets up.
2. INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT
Surrounded by KKK memorabilia, he reads his bible. His grandfather’s Klan robe is on display. Swears to his grandpa he’ll stay true. Puts on robe. Sleeps on the couch.
3. EXT. HOME – DAY
Caine works as house painter. Elderly woman from his church asks him to apprentice her twelve-year-old grandson who’s come to live with her. The boy needs a male mentor. Caine’s obliging. Quotes Proverbs 22:6. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” His grandpa taught him the trade and he’d always wanted a son to pass it on to. The boy, Elijah, is half black. Caine’s taken aback.
4. INT. CAINE HOME – NIGHT
INCITING INCIDENT: Caine dumps on his wife and daughter about the Grandmother’s intrusion. Daughter, EMMY, defiantly protests his prejudice, reveals she’s pregnant by black boyfriend. Enraged, Caine throws Emmy out of the house. Lizzie pleads with him but he reminds her what blacks did to his sister.
5. EXT. ANOTHER HOUSE PAINTING JOB – DAY
Elijah watches Caine paint, asks if he hates him because he’s half black. Caine explains being mixed means you’re tainted. God doesn’t want us to mix. Says the boy will have to fight harder to be a good person. Despite this and himself, Caine can’t help but like the boy.
6. EXT./INT. CAINE BASEMENT – NIGHT
Inclement weather outside. Klan meeting inside. A handful show up. A rag-tag handful of young and old men with chips on their shoulders and trauma in their pasts. Caine says members will return once they tire of the radical tactics of emerging supremacist groups. Reminds attendees the Klan used to have respectable doctors, lawyers and politicians in their ranks. They can regain that respectability again and, thus, regain control of the country. They are gentleman first, Christian men with integrity, not wild-eyed terrorists.
7. INT. CAINE BEDROOM – NIGHT
Lizzie spurns Caine’s advances. She’s tired. He’s tired of her refusing him. Shouts of “Nigger lover” come from outside.
8. EXT. CAINE HOME – NIGHT
Trucks screech away. They’ve left behind a cross burning on Caine’s lawn and a warning about his daughter. Fire trucks arrive. Fire Captain’s surprised that Caine’s house was targeted. There was a time when no one would fuck with him. Caine makes a decision.
9. EXT./INT. CAINE HOME – MORNING
OUTSIDE: Ashes from burning cross blow across the neighborhood. INSIDE: Lizzie informs Caine she’s working a double and, since he’s tossed out their daughter, dinner is up to him. Black Leader LINCOLN ABLE is on news. Wife comments on how the black nurses at the hospital all talk about him. Lizzie can see why. He’s charismatic.
10. EXT. HOUSE PAINTING JOB – DAY
Elijah’s offers again to help Caine. Instead of admiring the boy for his work ethic, Caine angrily says that’s the dumb black part of him talking. Doesn’t know when he’s not welcome. Winds knock over ladder, paints, ending his work day.
11. INT. BAR – DAY
Caine day drinks. More on Lincoln Able on TV. Bartender complains: uppity black is going to get all the whites voted out of office. They’re going to lose their country but there’s nothing decent white folks can do about it. If they did, they’d get videoed, convicted by elites, sent to prison. Bartender poses a question to Caine: Would prison be worth it if you knew you by killing an evil, you’d made the world better?
12. EXT. BAR – EVENING
It hails ice the size of golf balls as Caine leaves.
13. INT. CAINE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Wind howls like a screaming banshee. Drunk Caine stumbles into his empty house. Regards a picture of his sister and him hunting with Grandpa. He was just a kid then but not now. Now he’s going to finally avenge her; do what must to be done. An errant spark of electricity and the TV turns on. Science based show on String Theory. The TV fuzzes and then Lincoln Able is in a news loop. Caine starts cleaning his rifle.
14. EXT. CAINE HOME – NIGHT
Lightening seems to rip the sky in half. Strange colors slip through akin to the aurora borealis. The tripping lights encompass the neighborhood.
15. INT. CAINE’S BASEMENT – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Caine sleeps on the couch.
ACT TWO:
1. INT. BASEMENT – MORNING
The man who went to sleep as Caine now wakes up as the black man Lincoln Able. He’s disoriented. An intense dream fades from consciousness. He’s in his basement surrounded by black empowerment items. He shakes off his bad night’s sleep.
2. INT. ABLE HOME – KITCHEN – MORNING
NUBIA, a nurse, hands him coffee. Apologizes for sending him to the basement but his tossing and turning and talking in his sleep kept her up. He woke up with a crazy thought… that he should murder the Grand Dragon. She laughs. Yeah, her peaceful warrior murdering somebody? She’ll believe it when she sees it – but maybe not even then! After she leaves, we see he can’t shake it.
3. EXT. BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Lincoln gives his group of white and black volunteers a pep talk before they go door to door to get out the vote. He’s got charisma. He can talk the talk and walk the walk.
4. INT./EXT. BLACK HOME – DAY
Lincoln speaks to an old couple about the issues and voting. The discussion devolves into him revealing his own past pains caused by whites. Little murders of the soul. He’s getting bitter. Stops himself. Old man says the black man carries a chip on their shoulder for the way the white man has treated them. It is what it is and isn’t going away any time soon. But you can’t let hate win you over. If you do, you’re dead.
5. EXT. BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Lincoln continues canvassing. A car follows him. Lincoln turns around to look. A shimmer of light and… no car. He turns the corner and the car is following him again. He runs. Car comes close but then is gone again. Lincoln wonders if he’s going crazy. Then – the driver appears again. His car window opens and a rifle sticks out. It fires. Barely missing Lincoln. But then the car is gone again.
6. INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Lincoln looks for his wife. The nurse station shimmers. Lizzie is at front desk. It shimmers again and it’s Nubia. He tells her that he thinks he’s losing it.
7. INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
He’s getting a scan. Nothing wrong with him. Nubia says he’s under too much pressure. He’s got to stop.
8. EXT. CAINE’S NEIGHBORHOOD – EVENING
Caine sees his wife being dropped off. A black man is driving. She waves good-bye. He stews.
9. INT. CAINE BASEMENT – NIGHT
Lizzie calls Caine for dinner. He doesn’t answer. She finds him immersed in the Bible. They argue over him/her/family. He insists what he does, he does for them! She loves him but hates what he’s becoming. In an Iago-esque madness, he says he saw her with that black man, accuses her of rejecting him because she’s sleeping with him. Accuses her of wanting to sleep with Lincoln too. She tries to tell him that she was just getting a lift home from work. Caine rages on about his sister getting raped by black monsters?! Lizzie says his sister was a drug-addict prostitute! It’s time he stopped pretending she was a saint! Calling her a whore, he hits her until she’s still…
10. EXT. HOSPITAL/INT. CAR – NIGHT
Lincoln leaves hospital’s and is driving home when, suddenly, the ground quakes and the neighborhood looks different.
11. EXT. CAINE’S STREET – NIGHT
Disoriented, Lincoln drives on, sees the car that tried to run him down. It’s got the same dents. He gets out of his car with a gun. He spies Caine burying something in the backyard. He aims his gun at him. His hand shakes. He shoots and misses. Caine dives for his rifle. Fires back. Lincoln runs. Dives into his car and speeds away.
12. EXT. LINCOLN’S HOME – DAY
He heads out. Checks his car. The bullet holes are real.
13. EXT. GET OUT THE VOTE RALLY – DAY
Lincoln is speaker. He’s struggling to speak. Not the peaceful warrior anymore, his speech turns hateful. The crowd reacts. Some boo, others cheer him on.
Caine sets him in his sights. Sees the boy Elijah with his Grandma and it gives him pause. They’re up front. Caine fires. Misses. Hits Grandma! Crowd scatters. Lincoln is being rushed off stage when he spots Caine and gives chase. He thinks he has him cornered but… it’s as if he’s disappeared into thin air.
14. INT. LINCOLN HOME – DAY
Lincoln finds his wife home. Unusual as she should be at the hospital working. She says she wasn’t feeling well. Lincoln sees someone hurrying toward the house with a rifle? He freaks, throws his wife to the ground for safety. Nothing happens. Nubia points out there is no man with a rifle. Worries for Lincoln. He’s paranoid, angry, defensive. He rages about driving while black. Walking while black. Jogging while black. His latent hostility grows.
15. EXT. LINCOLN HOME – DAY – CONTINUOUS
… weather roils and quakes.
16. EXT./INT. CAINE HOME – DAY
Caine, carrying his rifle, hurries inside. His daughter comes to the house. She wants to see her mom. He sends her away.
17. INT. CAINE BASEMENT – NIGHT
He calls his sister. It’s late and she was asleep. He talks about her rape by black men, how he should have saved her but he’s making up for it now. She says to let it go. It was a long time ago. She was a drunk, just like their lousy parents. She’s sober now and tells the truth no matter how hard it is. Black men didn’t rape her. She was drunk and took them all on as a fuck you to their child molesting Klan-loving Grandpa. Caine idolized him but she hated him. She kept it from Caine because he was just a little boy who adored his grandpa. Caine goes nuts. She’s a fucking liar. His wife, daughter and now his sister – all have betrayed him with their deceptions and lies.
EXT. BLACK NEIGHBORHOOD – NIGHT
Caine drives around looking for someone black to kill. Runs over an innocent black man. A crowd forms.
As Caine tries to speed away, he’s hit by another car. It’s Lincoln. The chase is on.
ACT THREE
(Add police after them both)
1. EXT. CITY STREETS – NIGHT
Car chase through the city. Alarms go off as quakes hit. The world’s fabric seems to be rending…
Both crash their cars. Get out and pursue each other on foot.
2. EXT. CAINE’S BACKYARD – NIGHT
Police arrive to investigate shots. Find the body he was burying. They search the house and then for him…
3. EXT./INT. COTTON PROCESSING PLANT – NIGHT
Both men chase shadows. It’s cats and mouse where both appear, one disappears never quite in full view of the other. More quakes cause near collapse of building.
4. INT. LINCOLN’S HOME – NIGHT
Nubia is calling around asking friends if they’ve seen her husband. The weather outside is crazy. If he’s out in it, he could get hurt or hurt somebody…
(Maybe she calls the police…)
5. EXT. SKY – NIGHT
It appears to be ripping apart.
6. INT. PLANT – NIGHT
The men’s search for each other intensifies. Shadows and shapes pulsing in and out. Their bullets ricochet and each is struck. Building is coming down. Both drag themselves to get out.
7. EXT. PLANT – NIGHT
Caine drags himself out into the night. Moon shines down on pools of water. As he bleeds out, he sees his reflection in the water and doesn’t understand.
8. EXT. PLANT – NIGHT
Lincoln drags himself out, sees his reflection in water. It’s not him but Caine. The two men are directly in front of the other. Their two heads could touch. In their dying moments, they look up at each other a BRIGHT FLASH OF LIGHT washes all out…
9. EXT. SPACE
Strings appear in the blackness and resonate like harp strings. (String Theory) A FLASH OF LIGHT then…
10. EXT. MIXED NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
Literally, the sun shines on a newly formed reality. Caine’s daughter and husband stroll with their baby past black and white townspeople who warmly greet them. Grandma comes to comment warmly on Emmy’s baby mixed race baby…
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PS81 – Dana’s Pass #5: Action / Reaction
What I learned during this assignment:
I’m learning more and more about my protagonist with each stage of this process. Her motivation/character arc is changing dramatically as I increase the conflict in her life.
Concept:
A patient with multiple personality disorder calls a radio psychiatrist and warns that his more dominant and violent personality will kill one member her kidnapped family every hour on air unless she can excise his violent personality before the end of the show.
Protagonist Goal:
Save her family from a violent patient.
Protagonist Character Arc:
What she wants: Success as a talk radio host to help patients
What she needs: More confidence in her own abilities
Old trait: Self-doubt/heartfelt
Changed to: A formidable psychiatrist/emotionally broken
Main Conflict:
An ex-patient threatens to kill a psychiatrist’s kidnapped family.
Action/Reaction Events
Back and Forth
Jason calls the show / Ellen tries to disconnect, he’s an ex-patient
Jason threatens to kill her family / Ellen ignores the call, confirms family is safe
Jason calls back, puts husband on air / Ellen is stunned, submits to the game
Ellen questions Jason – why? / Jason says he’s sorry, but he’s powerless
Ryan, the violent personality, takes control / Ellen pleads for her family’s lives
Ryan kills Ellen’s husband on air / Ellen breaks down, refuses to go on
Ellen musters her psychiatric skills / Bobby, the new personality, resists
Ellen calls forward a new personality /Bobby won’t let William come forward
Ellen puts Jason’s sister on air / Bobby concedes, lets Jason speak to sister
Ellen extracts William / William engages with Ellen
Ellen pushes William to kill Ryan / Ryan interferes, threatens her daughters
Ellen confronts Ryan / Ryan loses control of game and Ellen
Ellen pits personality vs personality / William kills Ryan – himself
Protagonist’s Emotional moments:
Ellen reveals her self-doubts to her producer before show. She was not in the top of her class in school. Maybe leaving private practice for the show was a mistake.
After initial phone call that threatens her family, Ellen becomes more unnerved when she can’t contact her husband and the school cannot verify her children presence.
When her husband calls into the show and confirms he and their daughters have been kidnapped, Ellen foregoes her psychiatric skills and pleads with the kidnapper from emotion.
Ellen begs Jason to release her family, but Ryan, the violent personality intercedes to stop Jason.
When Ryan kills her husband, Ellen breaks down and refuses to continue.
Ellen digs deep, calling on her psychiatric abilities to take control and confronts Bobby, the new protective personality. She needs to speak with Jason.
Ellen puts Jason’s sister on air and, tears streaming, listens to the sister persuade Jason to stop.
Ellen tries to summon William, the manic-depressive personality, and pressed him to kill Ryan – himself to saver her daughters. The more she presses, the more tortured her emotions.
Ryan interferes and threatens her daughters. Ellen confronts Ryan, no longer allowing him to control events. She pits the two personalities against each other until the gun goes off. Ellen, in shock, cannot speak or breath for a long moment.
When she learns Jason is dead and her daughters are safe, she breaks down, sobbing, questioning what she has done.
Place the actions from #2 and emotional moments from #3 in your current outline
STRUCTURE OUTLINE
1. INT./EXT. ELLEN’S CAR – DAY
Ellen is late for work and listening to a competitor’s radio show. She receives a phone call from her producer. Ellen is missing the staff meeting with the station manager. Ellen completely forgot.
Now more anxious, Ellen answers a call from her husband, Roger. His car won’t start, and he’s using Uber to take their daughters to school before he heads to work. But he needs Ellen to pick them up after her radio show. They argue about her work interfering with their family, and when she hangs up, she uses a few harsh words toward her husband.
2. EXT. RADIO STATION – DAY
Ellen parks in the lot and runs inside, grappling with her purse and briefcase.
3. INT. HALLWAY – DAY
Ellen’s producer meets her in a panic. She takes Ellen’s purse and briefcase and hurries Ellen into the conference room.
4. INT. CONFERENC ROOM – DAY
Ellen enters a packed room. Every chair around the table is full. Sheepishly, she sits down, but the meeting is adjourned. She’s mortified.
After everyone leaves, Ellen meets with the station manager. He’s concerned about her ratings. She spends too much time with each caller. She’s not supposed to cure people. She’s supposed to advise them and move on. She needs to get her ratings up.
5. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen and her producer prepare for her show. Ellen relays the station manager’s meeting. Ellen questions if she has what it takes to be a talk show host. Thought she could reach more people on radio than her small private practice. She was middle of her class in medical school and residency. Her advisor advised against academics.
The producer tries to build her confidence. All they need is one great show.
One minutes air, her producer takes her seat the control booth. Ellen settles in behind her microphone.
6. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
The station manager enters. Ellen’s producer scolds him for his poor people skills dealing with Ellen, making her more self-conscience and nervous. He tells Ellen’s producer he’s already interviewed her replacement in case she fails. The station manager hovers to listen to the first call.
7. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
We hear the show’s intro. Ellen welcomes her listeners. She’s smooth and in control, but the first call is boring. Ellen delves too deep into theory.
8. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
The station manager leaves, disappointed. The producer screens the next caller, Jason, who suffers from multiple personality disorder. She puts him through immediately.
INCIDINT INDICENT
9. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen engages the caller, drawing him out. When she recognizes Jason as an old patient, she advises that it’s inappropriate to continue the conversation. But before she can end the call, Jason informs Ellen that his more dominant and violent personality has kidnapped her family and that he intends to kill one every hour on air unless she excises the personality by the end of the show.
Stunned, not sure how to respond, Ellen makes light of the threat. Her producer intercedes and disconnects the call and goes to a commercial. Ellen tells her producer how she knew the caller.
After several moments of indecision, Ellen grabs the studio phone and calls her husband. When the call goes to voicemail, she calls the school to ask about her children.
10. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
The station manager comes in. He quips about boring calls. Ellen learns her children have not arrived yet. Maybe they’re just late. The school will call when they arrive. She’s unnerved, and her producer keeps her from unravelling. Back on air in 10 seconds.
The station manager leaves to call the police, just as a precaution.
11. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen takes the next call, but is clearly distracted, concerned about her family’s safety.
12. INT. POLICE STATION – DETECTIVE SQUAD
Detective Sorenson is assigned the investigation by his lieutenant. He’s alone. His partner’s in court. The lieutenant has no-one else. Sorensen accepts the case believing it’s a snipe hunt. A crank caller to a radio station. Just in case, the lieutenant will get departments ready.
13. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen is on air with another caller. During the break, she tries her husband again. Nothing. Calls his work. He hasn’t arrived. And the school still hasn’t called back. She’s getting more nervous.
14. INT. FRONT DESK – RADIO STATION – DAY
Sorenson arrives at the station. The station manager greets him, explains the situation. He takes Sorenson to meet Ellen.
15. INT. CONRTOL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson reassures Ellen not to worry. He’ll send units to her daughter’s school and her husband’s work. She tells him about her patient. He was never violent or threatening. Anyone ever threaten her? Can she think of anyone who would want to harm her or her family? Husband?
FIRST TURNING POINT – END OF ACT 1
16. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
The producer screens another call. It’s Roger, Ellen’s husband. And when he’s put on air, he confirms he and their two daughters have been kidnapped.
Ryan, the violent personality, has taken control. He explains the rules of his game. Ryan will only speak to Ellen. The show must never leave the air, even for a commercial. Etc.
17. INT. STATION – DAY
Sorenson coordinates the investigation. They need to track the husband’s phone. Put an APB on the patient, Jason and get his patient records. And they need to find the Uber driver.
18. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen, in shock, begins pleading with Ryan. She wants to talk to her family. Ryan won’t allow it. Why is he doing this? Because she failed Jason. She abandoned him for the “circus” (radio), and now he – Ryan – is giving her second chance to redeem herself.
19. INT. PLACEHOLDER – DAY
Sorenson conducts the investigation from the radio station. Jason is homeless. Check shelters, hospitals, find someone who knows him or knows where he might be.
20. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen doctors her patient as Jason flips back and forth between personalities. The clock is coming up on the first hour.
21. INT. PLACEHOLDER – DAY
Sorenson gets a call. They have traced the husband’s phone. SWAT is enroute to the location.
22. INT. SWAT VAN – DAY
The SWAT commander instructs his men on the plan.
23. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen is still engaged with Jason, talking him down. Sorenson – in the control booth – tells her to stall. SWAT is close.
24. INT. HOUSE – DAY
SWAT team in full gear breaches the front door storms inside.
25. INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
A man, ducked taped to a chair, tortured, dead. This is the Uber driver.
26. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson gets the call. It’s not Jason. But the husband’s phone is there. Jason/Ryan is using a spoof number (using her husband’s phone number to disguise his own.)
27. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Laughing at the police incompetence, Jason informs Ellen it’s time for her choose which member of her family must die. Unable to choose, Jason threatens one of her daughters, and when Ellen pleads for her not to be harmed, Jason tells her that she has chosen by default.
Ellen listens as Jason drags her husband, Roger, into the room. Roger tells Ellen he loves her just before Jason shoots him on air. Jason hangs up, using radio jargon about taking a break.
Ellen flees from the booth, hysterical.
28. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Sorenson grabs her, and she falls into his arm on the floor, sobbing out of control. She says she’s going to be sick. He races her to the restroom.
29. INT. RESTROOM – DAY
Sorenson kicks open the door. Ellen falls into a stall and throws up. Sorenson tries to comfort her, to keep her strong. She slaps him hard, taking out her frustration on him. She collapses to the floor and tells him she cannot go on.
Sorenson tells her that Roger may be still alive, they “don’t know what we don’t know.” And she can’t stop. She must be strong for her daughters.
The station manager comes in. The patient is back on the line.
30. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen, barely able to speak, sits back down at her microphone to engage with Jason/Ryan. But it’s someone new. A young boy, Bobby. Another personality. She engages Bobby about her husband. Roger is dead in the room. The daughters are in another room.
31. INT. STATION – DAY
Jason’s patient records are delivered to Sorenson. We see his picture for the first time.
MIDPOINT
32. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen falters. She becomes silent, wiping tears. She goes deep into thought. Her producer and station manager are worried. They try to get her to reengage Bobby. Sorenson enters. Everyone is concerned.
A determined visage appears in Ellen’s eyes. Her emotions now under control. She speaks with Bobby about Jason, about his past personalities, specifically one named William. Does Bobby remember William? The others wonder what she’s doing.
33. INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Sorenson opens Jason’s patient file and reads. He’s stunned by what he reads. William is a manic-depressive personality. And suicidal. Sorenson realizes Ellen’s strategy, and he tells the others to their shock.
Sorenson warns Ellen that her strategy is dangerous and ill-advised.
34. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen, still engaged with Bobby, gives Sorenson and the others a vengeful glare. She’s determined to save her daughters – her way. And delves into Bobby’s memory to draw out William’s personality. She’s becoming the psychiatrist she needs to become.
35. INT. PLACEHOLDER – DAY
Sorenson receives a call from Jason’s sister living in Memphis. She tells Sorenson everything she knows. Will she talk to her brother on air?
36. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen asks Bobby is Jason will speak to his sister, and she puts Jason’s sister on air. Ellen listens to Jason’s sister tearfully plead for him to stop. This breaks down Ellen’s emotions, but she remains resolute, reaching deeper into Jason to pull out William.
37. INT. RADIO STATION – DAY
Sorenson receives call from the department. They have a lead on Jason based on the information from the sister. But they need time.
SECOND ACT TURNING POINT
38. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
William finally reveals himself to Ellen. And while she’s anguished by the harm that she knows she’s causing her patient, Ellen pushes him deep into his depressive state.
Ellen councils William that he doesn’t want the death of her children on his conscience, and that the only way to stop Ryan is for William to kill him. But that means killing himself.
William pleads for Ellen to stop, but she presses him that if he wants to be at peace, he must find the strength to do what he knows he must do. Ellen pushes, tears running, sometimes unable to speak, torturing herself, sacrificing her humanity to save her daughters.
CRISIS: Ryan intercedes again, realizing what Ellen is attempting to do, and threatens to kill one of her daughters.
39. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Sorenson on the phone. They have a fix on Jason. Uunits are on the way.
40. EXT. BRIDGE – DAY
The SWAT van and police cars, lights on, racing to the location.
41. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen confronts Ryan hard, pitting William against him. She’s full psychiatric mode. She sets the two personalities against one another. They flip back and forth, the gun in hand, fighting for dominance.
Sorenson signals five minutes away.
42. INT. SWAT VAN – DAY
The SWAT team is getting ready.
43. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen pushes William to take control and stop Ryan once and for all, to save her daughters.
44. INT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Sorenson on his phone. SWAT is almost there. Minutes away. Sorensen yells they’re running out of time.
CLIMAX
45. INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen pushes even harder. The two personalities yelling, one then the next, like two people arguing. William pleads for Ellen to stop. Ellen tells him to look at her daughters. She tells him their names. Don’t let Ryan kill them.
The gun goes off. Nothing. Silence.
Ellen stands, staring at everything and nothing. She looks to the others. They all wait, holding their breathes. We hear SWAT kick the door. Noise. Confusion. The call drops.
Ellen, almost unable to breathe.
Sorenson bursts into the studio. Jason is dead. Her daughters are safe.
Ellen collapses, sobbing in Sorenson’s arms. “What did I do? What did I do?”
46. EXT. RADIO STATION – DAY
Press and photographers surround the station. Sorenson walks Ellen out to a waiting car. She’s wrapped in a blanket, emotionally drained.
47. INT. CAR – DAY
The car pulls away from the station. Ellen looks back at Sorenson who’s watching her leave. She places her hand against the glass to wave goodbye.
48. EXT. RADIO STATION – DAY
Sorenson watches Ellen drive away. Camera flashes and questions assail him.
49. INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
Sorenson enters the squad room. The detectives stand and applaud. He’s given a heroes’ welcome. His lieutenant tells him to take the rest of the day.
Sorenson sits at his desk as everyone gets back to work. He receives a call, a physician from a local clinic. The physician tells Sorenson that he had been holding Jason for observation at his clinic under a different name for the past 10 days. Confused, Sorenson opens his computer. What’s the name? Randy Armstrong. He’s in the system. Sorensen types in the other name.
COMPUTER SCREEN: Jason’s picture pops up under Randy Armstrong. The physician didn’t put the face to the name until he saw Jason’s picture television.
Frantic, Sorenson opens Jason’s patient file. He scans the names of his other personalities.
INSERT JASON’S FILE. Sorenson’s finger drags down the page and finds Randy Armstrong listed as one of Jason’s other personalities.
The physician tells Sorenson that Randy was released and picked up by an Uber ride matching the dead Uber driver’s car an hour before Ellen’s family was kidnapped.
Sorenson suddenly realizes there had to be someone else involved.
CUT TO BLACK
VOICE OVER: A morning talk show host is talking about Dr. Ellen.
DISSOLVE TO:
50. EXT. CITYSCAPE – MORNING
VOICE OVER: A week has now passed. The host discusses the aftermath. One caller agrees with what Ellen did. Another doesn’t. The next caller tells the host he loves the show. It’s Ryan’s voice, who says, “I’m a long times listener. First time caller.”
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Lisa’s Pass #5: Action/Reaction
“What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…?” that every action has a reaction; that the order of the actions must build.
1. Tell us the following:
– Concept: When Santa is kidnapped by her ex-husband to pay back taxes, a super mom must save him, her ex, and the It’s a Wonderful Life festival.
– Protagonist Goal: To find & save Santa and Peter before something horrible happens.
– Protagonist Character Arc: Mary must enlist the help of others even though she doesn’t like to ask for help. She goes from closed to opened.
– Main Conflict: Mary must stop Santa’s kidnapper when she finds out it’s her ex-husband, Peter.2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story.
and list it.
BACK AND FORTH/Protagonist – Mary/Antagonist – PeterPeter jumps off the bridge
Saves Peter from drowning
Almost runs over Peter with car
Hatches plan to kidnap Santa
Assigns roles and oversees festival
Kidnaps Santa
Can’t find Peter
Brings Santa to town
Goes to the police
Forced to ask for help to find Peter
Takes Santa thru the parade & into a neighborhood
Mary must play Santa for the parade
Switches places with Santa
Tries to get Santa to go down the chimney
Tries to talk Peter out of it
Grabs Santa (Mary) and they struggle
Falls off roof & Joseph catches her
Breaks down and gives up
Let go because Santa vouches for him
Shows up at courthouse next day
Accepts his fate and turns himself in
Townspeople come to the courthouse
Can’t accept the town’s money
Each person tells why they want to do this
Peter breaks down as he realizes they love him
3. Make a list of the emotional moments the Protagonist will go
through that will cause him or her to face the change they need
to make.Protagonist Emotional Moments
· Saving the Peter from drowning; Mary yells at him afterwards because he can’t do that to their daughters
· Almost running him over with the car; worrying about him and his state
· Mary turns down Joseph’s advances…even though she doesn’t really want to
· Mary is getting burned out from planning and organizing the festival, but she doesn’t want to ask for more help
· Mary can’t locate Peter and she’s very worried he will try to kill himself again
· Mary breaks down and goes to the police who laugh at her
· Mary must give in and ask her friends for help in locating Peter and running the festival
· Mary (in a montage of flashbacks) thinks about Peter what life would be like without him
· Mary loves Joseph now and thinks about what life would be like with him
· Mary will fight for Peter…and Santa
· It takes very little convincing for Mary to get the town to give Peter the money from the festival.
· When Joseph says that the winery will foot the bill for next year’s festival, Mary realizes what a wonderful man he is and has always been…
· Mary decides to accept Joseph’s proposal
4. Place the actions you like from #2 and emotional moments
from #3 in your current outline — and list the outline.1. EXT. GEORGE BAILEY BRIDGE – NIGHT
Mary and her partner come across a man on George Bailey bridge at night in the pouring rain in their firetruck and Mary sees it’s her ex-husband, Peter. Peter is crying and is up on the railing. Mary hates heights, but she ends up saving Peter then lays into him about what he was trying to do.
2. INT-KITCHEN-DAY
Mary’s kitchen is full of Christmas goodies for the it’s a Wonderful Life festival. She calls for Uncle Billy to come eat. When she turns around to call again, Uncle Billy, a miniature dachshund, is sitting behind her with his head cocked. He goes over to his bowl and eats.
3. INT-BEDROOM-DAY
Ruthie is in her bedroom looking at the NORAD site on her computer. Her mom calls for her and she yells back that the computer is broken. She closes it and runs downstairs.
4. INT-KITCHEN-DAY
Peter enters the eat-in kitchen of the Ma Jenkins Boarding House. Ma orders her grandson to stand because a decorated war hero is entering the room. Peter sits down to eat breakfast. The boy sits second.
5. INT-SUV-DAY
Ruthie and Janie ask about their father on the way to school. Mary nearly runs over Peter when he steps off the curb in front of the boarding house. Mary tells the girls to stay in the car. They protest and shout hello to their father. Mary gives in and let’s Peter say hi to the girls who have a phone on the NORAD site, and they show Peter.
6. INT-COURTROOM-DAY
Judge admonishes Peter for not being able to pay back taxes. Peter is on hard times because there hasn’t been any snow and he’s a snowmobile repair man. Judge will send him to jail on Christmas day if he doesn’t come up with the money.
7. INT-HALLWAY-DAY
Mary and Peter discuss their girls outside the court room. Mary tells him he knows the girls love him. Peter and his girlfriend, Tilly discuss the NORAD site and how Santa gets down the chimney. Peter has an idea.
8. INT-SENECA FALLS WINERY OFFICE-DAY
Mary works with Angel, her best friend and they discuss what happened at the courthouse and Joseph, their boss. They discuss Peter and how Mary is always helping him. Joe asks Mary out and she declines.
9. EXT-OUTSIDE OFFICE-DAY
Joe expresses his love for Mary. Joe gives Mary a raise because of the situation with Peter.
10. EXT-NORTH POLE-DAY
Peter and Tilly kidnap Santa on snowmobiles.
11. INT-CONTROL ROOM-DAY
At NORAD HQ, Santa starts to move on the giant screen. It’s too early. Dash and Don are assigned to go find Santa.
12. EXT-FOREST-DAY
Snowmobiles catch some air. Snow is starting to thin. They continue on foot with blindfolded Santa in tow.
13. EXT-ROAD-DAY
Dash and Don are trying to track Santa’s signal.
14. INT-WINERY OFFICE-DAY
Mary tells Angel that she’s not going to play “Mary Bailey” this year. She says she will push for Angel to play her.
15. EXT-MAIN STREET-NIGHT
Main street is all lit up with lights and decorations. A sign reads ‘Wonderful Life Meeting Tonight – All Are Welcome!’
16. INT-COMMUNITY CENTER-NIGHT
Mary and Angel discuss how good Joe is with the girls as they watch them together. Introduction of other townspeople. Everyone is assigned different roles and tasks. After the meeting, Joe tries to give Mary her Christmas present early, but she won’t take it.
17. EXT-TRAIN TRACKS-NIGHT
Peter, Tilly, and Santa run alongside a slow-moving freight train. They get into the train car, and it starts to go faster.
18. EXT-CANADIAN ROAD-NIGHT
Dash and Don track the Santa signal and realize they are moving faster than snowmobiles.
19. INT-LIVING ROOM-DAY
Ruthie tells Mary something is wrong with the laptop because it’s not following Santa. Out the window, it’s snowing!
20. EXT-TRAIN TRACKS-DAY
Peter, Tilly, and Santa run into the woods.
21. INT-CAR-DAY
Dash and Don are still in Canada and realize the signal has stopped in Seneca Falls, NY. Border guards stop them and laugh that they are chasing Santa.
22. EXT-MAIN STREET-DAY
Main Street is full of people there for the festival. Ernie is passing out chestnuts in front of the Clarence Hotel. There’s a line outside of ZuZu’s Café. A group of scavenger hunters are leaving the community center.
23. EXT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
On the outskirts of town, Peter unlocks the door and he, Tilly, and Santa go inside.
24. INT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
Peter finds tracking device on Santa. Peter interrogates Santa on how he gets down the chimneys. Santa won’t say.
25. EXT-FRONT YARD-DAY
Ruthie and Janie are playing in the yard in the snow. Uncle Billy is running around barking at them. Joe and Mary are watching from the front window.
26. INT-HOUSE-DAY
Mary and Joe argue over moving their relationship forward. Joe leaves. Uncle Billy comes in and Mary rubs him with a towel as he licks her face.
27. EXT-MAIN STREET-DAY
Dash and Don enter Seneca Falls. People are everywhere for the festival. They ask Ernie where the parade starts…down by the movie theater at the other end of the street. They head in that direction.
28. EXT-SIDE STREET-DAY
In the theater, Mary checks out the costumes for all the IAWL characters that will march in the parade. Angel calls Mary’s cell and tells her to get to the community center now.
29. INT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
Peter and Tilly discuss how to get out of this and that they didn’t think everything out…like how to get Santa back to the North Pole. Tilly says she’s not going through with it and leaves.
30. INT-COMMUNITY CENTER-DAY
The town Santa is sick, and Mary must play Santa because Angel has the radio show. Mary puts on the Santa suit.
31. EXT-SNOWMOBILE SHOP-DAY
Peter and Santa leave the shop and head towards town. Peter makes Santa carry rope in his sack. Mary drives up looking for Peter, but he’s not there.
32. EXT-MAIN STREET-DUSK
Santa 5K starts and all runners are dressed as Santa and it’s snowing heavily now. Dash and Don are trying to figure out who is the real Santa as they run too. Peter and Santa run along in the group until they get to the other end of town and then run toward houses.
33. EXT-RESIDENTIAL STREET-DUSK
Neighborhood of houses lit for Christmas, but everyone is in town. Peter and the real Santa come out of the woods and move toward the back of a house.
34. INT-POLICE STATION-DUSK
Mary has told the police that Peter and Santa are missing. The police laugh at her. She explains he might be suicidal and leaves in frustration.
35. EXT-SIDE STREET-NIGHT
Mary gets on the firetruck and as it starts to move, she sees someone behind the Davis’s house…it looks like Santa. She jumps off the truck and runs toward the house.
36. EXT-MAIN STREET-NIGHT
Angel and Joe have the girls along the parade route. Angel whispers to Joe that Mary will be playing Santa at the end of the parade.
37. EXT-LIBRARY-NIGHT
Dash and Don come around the library and see a Santa far away running toward the neighborhood. They take off after Santa.
38. EXT-HOUSE-NIGHT
Mary sneaks up behind Santa and covers his mouth, points him to the woods. Mary climbs the ladder (still afraid of heights) and scoots along the roofline. Peter orders her to go down the chimney. Mary and Peter argue on the roof. Dash and Don see them. Joseph has tracked them down too.
39. EXT-PARADE-NIGHT
The real Santa has jumped on another firetruck and is waving to the children yelling Ho, Ho, Ho! Those who know, remark on how great Mary is as Santa.
40. EXT-HOUSE-NIGHT
Peter orders Santa to go down the chimney, Mary stalls and tries to talk Peter out of doing it. She stands up on the roof as Peter gets more agitated. Peter tries to force Santa down the chimney, and they struggle. Firefighters have moved the ladder truck over to the house and Dash & Don climb on the roof and point their guns at Peter. Mary stops them from shooting him then falls off the roof hanging by the gutters. Joseph below tells her to let go and he will catch her. She does and they fall in the snow.
41. EXT-YARD-NIGHT
Santa returns as Dash and Don are taking Peter to their car. Santa convinces them to let Peter go.
42. INT-COURTROOM-DAY
Christmas morning, Peter turns himself in for the tax <s>child support</s> charges. Mary comes in and says it’s a miracle. The townspeople enter and pay Peter’s back taxes with the festival money. They each vouch for Peter, each saying why they are grateful for Peter. And they have found a sponsor to pay for next year’s festival.
43. INT-HOUSE-DAY
Mary, Ruthie, Janie, and Uncle Billy have had Christmas. Peter and Tilly are celebrating with the girls too. Joe comes over to give Mary her Christmas gift.
44. EXT-PORCH-DAY
It’s still snowing. Joe gives Mary an engagement ring. Mary says she knows that the winery is going to foot the bill for next year’s festival. Mary accepts the ring, and they kiss as Uncle Billy barks and tries to get between their feet.
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[PS81] Antonio Flores’ Pass #5: Action / Reaction
What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…
When developing a concept, one should not be afraid of just having a basic framework in the beginning. Following this process, new elements keep coming regardless of being inspired or not. One just gets to know the characters better and then, it’s like if they were telling me what they want to do in the story.
1. Tell us the following:
– Concept:
A cheerleader fights in the underground MMA to rescue her fiancé, a fighter abducted and poisoned by criminals to steal a secret that he keeps – now she must win the antidote in a deadly cage tournament.
– Protagonist Goal:
To develop fighting skills, to win the poison’s antidote, and get her fiancé back
– Protagonist Character Arc:
Parisa changes from a fearful woman and goes into someone who not only builds strengths from her weakness, she is also able to overcome what frightens her. She defeats opponents who are stronger than her in the MMA octagon cage.
– Main Conflict:
The Ruler is determined to steal the secret, he has imprisoned and poisoned Parisa’s fiancé, now he is playing mind games to subdue their will and torture their spirit.
2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story.
and list it.
Protagonist: Fights every night in the underground octagon
Antagonist: Arranges opponents to beat her up
Protagonist: Searches the facility for her fiancé
Antagonist: Bumps into a scary brawny fighter’s threat (SETUP 01)
Protagonist: Follows Philip when he rescues her fiancé
Antagonist: Follows her and ambushes them all
Protagonist: Gets thrown into a weird 3:3 bareknuckle team street-fight. Philip ends up fighting the three men — loses
Antagonist: Ruler changes rules on spot; instead of making Parisa fight, he makes Parisa the prize
Protagonist: Parisa runs, hides then, fights the men one by one; doesn’t kill, just maims
Antagonist: Ruler makes Parisa fight to death with Ruthless (PAYOFF 01)
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Protagonist: Parisa rejects Philip’s advances.
Antagonist: Philip reduces her fiancé’s medicine so he dies and Philip can have Parisa
Protagonist: Parisa gets lured to train alone with Philip the night before the tournament starts
Antagonist: Philip says he wants to have Parisa before Ruthless rips her into pieces. Philip wants to rape her.
Protagonist: Parisa gets enraged, fights back and breaks Philip’s knee
Antagonist: When the rules change and a gun is pointed at Parisa’s fiancé, Philip does not interfere at all
Protagonist: Parisa snatches the phone that they stole from a guard; furtively gives it to Philip
Antagonist: Unwillingly, Philip takes the device, conceals himself and texts a message
Protagonist: Parisa watches the guard’s gun pointing at her and her fiancé demanding his phone to be returned; her eyes give away the spot where Philip is.
Antagonist: The guard discovers Philip, the stolen phone is in his hands; he is texting! The guard shoots Philip dead.
3. Make a list of the emotional moments the Protagonist will go
through that will cause him or her to face the change they need
to make.
• Parisa’s fears grows every night she gets beaten in the cage fights
• Parisa’s confidence builds up as she develops fighting skills
• Parisa bumps into Ruthless, gets a death threat from the vicious fighter
• Parisa finds that the tournament will open with her fighting Ruthless
• Philip wants to rape Parisa “before Ruthless rips her into pieces”
• Parisa, enraged by Philip’s words, fights back, breaks his knee.
• Parisa fights Ruthless; gets upper hand, rules change, Parisa must kill her
• Parisa lets her guard down. Ruthless recovers and attacks her
• Parisa’s mindlessly reacts and accidentally kills Ruthless
• Parisa gets to the final fight Vs. “the Ruler’s Favorite” — a fight to death
4. Place the actions you like from #2 and emotional moments
from #3 in your current outline — and list the outline.
1. Opening
INT. GYM — NIGHT
PARISA, a lonely woman, gets up on a treadmill. Pictures on the wall show memories of her career as cheerleader and coach.
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — OCTAGON CAGE
Parisa’s fiancé, BAHADUR faces SHAHNAZ, a massive, muscle-packed fighter. Bahadur is in a daze. There is a cut in his arm. On the opponent’s corner, A MAN IN A TUNIC holds up a knife and grins. Poison.
2. Inciting Incident
INT. GYM — NIGHT
A TEXT PREVIEW displays on Parisa’a cellphone screen. Parisa’s uncle, MMA manager, SYLVAIN says: “I’M SORRY. HE’S GONE. THEY TOOK HIM”. Parisa wipes her tears and texts back: ‘HELP ME. I MUST FIND HIM.”
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about.
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — OCTAGON CAGE
Parisa’s uncle, MMA manager, Sylvain introduces her to the underground MMA ringmasters. Parisa gets in the cage for an “audition.” She gets badly beaten, but the ringmasters want her great looks on the show. They sign her in.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1
INT. SYLVAIN’S CAR — DAY
Parisa wonders how long it will take for her to develop MMA fighter skills. Sylvain persuades her to try dance.
INT. COLLAGE: DANCE LESSONS — DAY
Parisa refuses at first, but after her uncle’s insistence she enrolls. She shows how charming she is in salsa, tango and samba. Yet, dance lessons leave her with a sense of avoidance and guilt.
INT. COLLAGE: MARTIAL ARTS LESSONS — DAY
Parisa discovers that the dance coaches are masters of Chinese Shuaijiao (wrestling) and Brazilian Capoeira. The masters build up martial arts strengths from her cheerleader attributes: agility, coordination, sense of space-time, fast-twitch explosive muscles, and more.
INT. COLLAGE: UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — OCTAGON CAGE
Parisa’s performance improve from being punched, spitting the mouthpiece, and tapping the opponent… to kicking the opponent’s butt, getting her arm raised by the referee, winning by decision.
5. Mid-Point
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — UNDERGROUND MAZE — NIGHT
As Parisa searches for her fiancé, she bumps into RUTHLESS, a brawny female fighter, who warns her not to ever mess around with her.
INT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — UNDERGROUND MAZE — NIGHT
Meanwhile, PHILIP, Bahadur’s alleged runaway partner, finally gets Bahadur out of captivity.
EXT. UNDERGROUND MMA FACILITY — NEARBY STREET
Parisa follows them. They get ambushed and imprisoned.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2
INT. CARGO CONTAINER — NIGHT
They get transported to somewhere in the middle of the desert. Bahadur fills Parisa with all details about his abduction, the poison, Philip, and that breaking up was a way to protect her.
EXT. DESSERT – RULER’S PLACE – DAY
Parisa, Bahadur, and Philip meet THE RULER, leader of the criminal organization that uses the underground MMA fights as a screen. To win the poison’s antidote, they must win the final match.
[NEW] INT. DESSERT – GUARDS TENT – NIGHT
Parisa, Bahadur and Philip are thrown into a 3:3 bareknuckle team fight. The rules change on the spot, Bahadur is too weak. Philip ends up fighting the three men. He is defeated.
[NEW] INT. DESSERT – GUARDS TENT – NIGHT
Rules keep changing. Instead of making Parisa fight, she is now the prize for the three winners. The referee cuts Parisa’s shirt open with a knife. Parisa snatches the knife and stabs the referee. She runs away into the desert.
[NEW] EXT. DESERT DUNE — NIGHT
The men split up to hunt her. Parisa rips her shirt off and — traditional Capoeira style — attaches the knife to her ankle. She buries herself in the dune sand. One by one, she takes the men down. Each time, she gets more knives to attach to her wrists and ankles. Parisa just maims the three guards and returns to the tent wearing one of their shirts.
EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
Parisa trains under the guidance of Bahadur and Philip. Philip wants to seduce Parisa. She rejects him.
7. Crisis
EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – NIGHT
Philip figures out that by reducing Bahadur’s medicine dose, he can kill him and get Parisa.
EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – NIGHT BEFORE THE TOURNAMENT
Philip lures Parisa to do a prep workout with him alone. He tries to rape her. [NEW] Philip admits that he wants to have her before Ruthless rips her into pieces. His words enrage Parisa. She fights back and breaks his knee.
EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – DAY
Parisa fights Ruthless in the first match of the tournament and gets the upper hand. The rules change on the spot: Parisa must kill her opponent — a gun is pointed at her fiancé. [NEW] Philip does not intervene. Badahur snatches the gun and fires at Ruthless, but the gun was empty. They were played on. Still, Parisa accidentally kills Ruthless.
EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
Bahadur realizes that the tournament is part of a plan to curb their spirit. The three plan to steal a cellphone from a guard and send a message out.
EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
The plan works. Parisa prevents her fiancé to keep the device and [REVISED] furtively passes it to Philip. The guard notices his cellphone is gone, points his gun at the fiancé, but then, he catches Philip texting and shoots him dead.
8. Climax
EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND MMA CAGE – DAY
Bahadur is too weak to fight. Parisa enters the octagon with the “Ruler’s Favorite,” Shahnaz. She wins the antidote, but gets badly hurt. It’s the end for her.
EXT. DESSERT – UNDERGROUND TRAINING CAMP – DAY
A DRONE SQUAD and soldiers arrive. Philip’s message went through! The Ruler is busted. Badahur urges paramedics to help the lifeless woman in his arms.
9. Resolution
INT. GYM — DAY
Badahur quietly rolls a wheelchair into the gym where Parisa’s old cheerleaders team rehearse. Still bruised, but recovering, Parisa shares her discovery with her former students.
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Day 11 (Anita Gomez’s PASS 5) Action / Reaction
What I’ve learned doing this assignment: I think I have confused myself. My story is a Psychological Thriller with twists, so it is not a straight-line piece of logic. So now these questions have me wondering if the Antagonist is not Cyrus but the daughter and the “father” is only a subplot!? My instinct is to continue with my original story line and not get too hung up on fitting this formulaic structure. This assignment has however helped me beef up my Antagonist, and I added new scenes accordingly, in the outline below.
1. Tell us the following:
CONCEPT:
A young woman who can’t access an abortion abandons her baby at birth only to learn years later that the child is her best hope for a life-saving transplant, leading her to search for a daughter she never wanted, but who becomes her unexpected solution.
Protagonist Goal:
(My Antagonist pushes the Protagonist to change,opposing the Protagonist’s state of being), so – Danica’s career ambitions are thwarted by Cyrus first by getting pregnant by him, and then having to face him as a lawyer to a judge about abortion issues.
Protagonist Character Arc:
What Danica wants: Single life and career
What she needs: human connection
Her old trait: Selfish ambition
Changed to: desirous of connection with her daughter
Main Conflict:
(It needs to build… generating more and more conflict, facing greater forces of antagonism). The woman’s health is failing and she needs to find the now-grown daughter for a transplant.
2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story and list it.
3. Make a list of the emotional moments the Protagonist will go through that will cause him or her to face the change they need to make.
These are listed above
4. Place the actions you like from #2 and emotional moments from #3 in your current outline — and list the outline.
1. Opening Scene:
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Danica is in the throes of childbirth. It isn’t going well, and we hear from the doctors that she could die. GRAPHIC: “9 Months Earlier”
2. Inciting Incident:
INT. LAW OFFICES – NIGHT
Danica is working on a case. A senior partner comes in, flirting with her in an all-too-familiar way. She confronts him with the fact that she is pregnant and past the 6 weeks allowable for an abortion in her state. In fact, he was instrumental in passing this law. We see him revealed as the hypocrite he is (ultra right-wing; married with his own kids; but still offering to send her away for an abortion).
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about.
INT. DANICA’S SISTER’S HOME – DAY
Our lead confides in her Evangelical sister (mother of 2 kids herself) that she doesn’t want this child and wants to flee the state for an abortion. She fears for her health, having been born with only 1 kidney and reminds the sister how she herself almost died in childbirth, twice. The sister guilt-trips her / tells her all life is precious and “she’ll grow to love the child”.
EXT. HIGHWAY – NIGHT
Danica flees the state. She drives to <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Louisiana</st1:place></st1:state> where the abortion laws are more accessible.
INT. ABORTION CLINIC – DAY
Danica makes an abortion appointment, but at the last minute, can’t go through with it.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
We are back at the opening scene of a wretched birthing experience. Danica blacks out; She regains consciousness to the sounds of a screaming infant. A nurse tries to hand her the baby daughter, saying she is fine – except she too was born with the mother’s genetic defect of having only one kidney. The new mother turns away from the squalling infant.
EXT. FIRE STATION – NIGHT
Danica abandons her newborn daughter at a “Safe Haven” firehouse telling the child, “I never wanted you” leaving a note, “Her name is Dianna”.
EXT. TEXAS HIGHWAY – DAY
Giant billboards with Cyrus making politically motivated anti-abortion statements.
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
Partners are congratulating Cyrus on his appointment as a Judge.
5. Mid-Point
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
Danica’s ambitions bear fruit and she climbs the legal ladder. She is cold, hard, and driven with a reputation as a ruthless winner of corporate cases. As a loner, she rebuffs co-workers celebratory invitations.
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
Concurrently the biological father’s (Cyrus) story unfolds. Now a Judge he quickly gains the reputation as a conservative hard-ass, making harsh anti-abortion decisions from the bench – as noted by former partners bringing a case forward about a young girl who is seeking a judicial bypass from parental consent for an abortion, which he denies because of her “grades”.
INT. ADOPTIVE PARENT’S HOUSE
Dianna has grown into a beautiful and precocious young girl – with a cruel streak. She brings home an excellent school report but then we see her hugging a kitten until it squeals and goes limp.
INT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – EVENING
Cyrus the family man, interacts with his two preteen kids in a cool distant way. The home he provides is materially beautiful, but he is detached, deferring the kids’ needs to his wife.
INT. JUDGE’S CHAMBERS – DAY
Cyrus, now older, has received notice of his appointment to Superior Circuit Court Judge, (which will put him once again in Danica’s professional orbit). He calls his wife and kids to have a celebration dinner, but they are all unavailable.
INT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – CHRISTMAS DAY
Cyrus’s wife gives the family each a “23&Me” type DNA kit as gifts. Cyrus looks nervous.
EXT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – EARLY NEXT MORNING
It is his habitual practice to retrieve his newspaper outside the gates of his driveway near the street. A car passes too close and he bobbles his coffee onto his pajamas and robe (foreshadowing).
INT. ADOPTIVE PARENT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Dianna’s parents are worrying to each other about her lack of friends and emotional detachment.
EXT. UNIVERSITY GROUNDS – DAY
Dianna graduates college early. She is offered a prestigious job as a medical researcher in genetics. She goes into genetic research because of her own anatomical anomaly and uncovers others with kidney deficiency, which includes her mother.
INT. BIOLOGY LAB – DAY
We see Dianna displaying the same cold hard ambitious edge her biological mother has, Perhaps this plays out in her dispassionate dissection of animals in the course of her research, and how she blows off her co-workers.
INT. BIOLOGY LAB – DAY
During this time Dianna seeks out and discovers the true identity of both her biological parents.
INT. DANICA’S SISTER’S HOUSE – DAY
She has come for a visit and is wistful while playing with her niece and nephew – obviously wondering what it would have been like to be a mom herself. Danica catches a commercial on TV about Cyrus running for re-election as Judge, all about “family values” – she is disgusted.
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY
Danica is shopping in the girl’s department. First through infant wear, then toddlers through teens sections. She is sad and pensive, obviously dreaming of brooding about the child she gave away.
INT. DIANNA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Exemplifying her pathological inability to connect with people, her boyfriend is breaking up with her, calling her an ice queen, etc. and accusing her of having an abortion of their child without consulting him. Dianna too calmly says that “it’s her body, her choice – and NO ONE leaves her… she does the leaving” and grabs a gun from a dresser drawer. He bolts before she fires but we see she would actually be capable of cold-blooded murder.
INT. JUDGE CYRUS’ CHAMBERS – DAY
Cyrus is having a discussion with other lawmakers about how they want to see <st1:state w:st=”on”>Louisiana</st1:state> follow in <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Texas</st1:place></st1:state>’ footsteps with an extreme anti-abortion law, noting he is the best person for the job. He is a puffed-up pompous self-assured man conveniently forgetting his own personal scrape with Danica’s unwanted pregnancy, and agrees to be considered as an appointee for The 5<sup>th</sup> Circuit Chief Judge. His motivations are purely for power and political gain within his party.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2
EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – DAY
Danica is a compulsive marathon runner. She begins to show signs of health issues.
INT. DANICA’S HOUSE – DAY
She receives news of her sister’s death from kidney failure. She meets with her brother-in-law and niece and nephew but has too many of her own regrets about giving away her own child. She longs for the strong family bond she sees in them.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Danica sees her own doctor and is told she too has kidney disease, and must have a transplant to survive. She is told all the medical reasons why her best chance for survival is a close relative.
INT. DANICA’s HOUSE – NIGHT
She begins seeking out her daughter’s whereabouts online. We are unsure of her motive,– is it for a kidney or a relationship?
INT. CYRUS’ HOUSE – NIGHT
All smiles he announces to his wife that he’s been appointed to the 5<sup>th</sup> Circuit Court of Appeals, located in <st1:place w:st=”on”><st1:city w:st=”on”>New Orleans</st1:city></st1:place>. She tells him he’ll be moving there himself. She has the results of the family DNA tests and has discovered he has a grown child out of wedlock (Dianna).
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
Danica must prepare for arguments being heard to restrict abortions in the state and she is tapped to argue against this in trial. She learns that the father of her abandoned child (Cyrus) will be the Circuit Appeals Judge hearing the case.
7. Crisis
INT. COURTROOM – DAY
Danica argues passionately in her presentation stating, “Not everyone’s cut out to be a parent. Not everyone SHOULD be a parent… and yet, life IS sacred… isn’t it?”. In her intensely conflicted zealousness she collapses – both mentally and physically.
INT. DANICA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
She goes on a concentrated search for Dianna, the daughter, and using a “23&Me” type genetic app, finds her. She contacts Dianna, not disclosing who she is – only a ‘close relative’. She has no idea Dianna already knows who she is; and in the course of email exchanges, the two women agree to meet.
8. Climax
EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – EARLY MORNING
Dianna gets into her silver sedan driving to the early morning appointment she set to meet her mother. We see a man bending over to get the morning paper from his driveway – we recognize him as Cyrus. She’s momentarily distracted. Brakes Squeal.
Blackout.
9. Resolution
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
Eyes blink open. The hospital room looks eerily similar to the opening scene.
A TV is on, set to the news. Wincing in pain Danica gets out of bed and walks to a mirror, lifting her gown to reveal a long scar mid-back. She has gotten her transplant, but looks confused. Her daughter, Dianna walks in, smiling, fresh as a daisy. The mother is stunned silent… this is obviously her daughter, as they practically look like sisters. Dianna turns to the TV and raises the volume with the remote. The anchor is reporting on the tragic death of Circuit Appeals Court Judge Cyrus at his home this morning, the only lead a silver sedan seen on the street … if anyone has more information… TV switched off, Dianna turns to her mother, “Well, at least he did one thing right in his life – he signed up as an organ donor.”
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Anna Harper’s Pass#5 Action/Reaction
What I learned from doing this assignment; the application of the action/reaction was another route to amplify the intensity and add to the script. I could see areas that needed amping up. From sepia to technicolor. I think it will produce a more satisfying experience for an audience.
CONCEPT
It’s almost Christmas in a picture-perfect English village. a stray Newfoundland dog, Alfie who has telepathic superpowers befriends 13-year-old Dylan saving him from a series of wicked events. The loving relationship between Alfie and Dylan helps Dylan to understand how his choice to be mute must change in order that Dylan has a happier life and to accept the death of his mother. saving him, just in the nick of time, from being sent away to a special school, arranged by his covertly and generally evil Dad’s girlfriend, Miss Perkins, (Dylan’s grade 6 teacher.) Alfie saves the magic and joy of Christmas by introducing a very lonely Steve (Dylan’s Dad) to a new love interest,
PROTAGONISTS GOAL
Initially, Dylan’s goal is to maintain the status quo.
Subsequently, it becomes avoidance of stressors; 1, avoid bullies, 2 avoiding boarding school.
3. Enjoy life again.
PROTAGONIST ARC
From victim, self-imposed isolation in silence stuck in loss/grief for his mother moving towards
risking change through various means of gradual communication outside the bubble of silence, forming alliances, and eventually doing what he did not want to do; speaking again as an imperative to survival and eventually to thrive.
MAIN CONFLICT
Dylan does not want to let his mother go If Dylan does not speak again he may lose Alfie, he will not be able to communicate effectively to stop or expose the escalating abuse at school, (now that his Dad has dumped an enraged Elizabeth.) or deal with the bullies
.
CHANGE TO MAIN CONFLICT ADDING EMOTIONAL REACTION
Dylan is stuck in fear and the pain of grief and uses silence as a way of constructing what he erroneously believes to be a way of being in a safe bubble, and staying close to the pain of loss equals staying close to his mother in a world of his own. If Dylan does not speak again he may lose Alfie, he will not be able to communicate effectively to stop or expose the escalating abuse at school, (now that his Dad has dumped an enraged Elizabeth.) or deal with the bullies.
1. Action Events
Death of Dylan’s mother
Reaction
Dylan chooses to be intransigent in a world of his own silence.
Emotional reaction
Dylan is stuck in fear and the pain of grief and uses silence as a way of constructing what he erroneously believes to be a way of being in a safe bubble, and staying close to the pain of loss equals staying close to his mother in a world of his own.
2. Action Event
The bullies are making life unbearable for Dylan,
Reaction
He maintains his silence
Emotional reaction
Dylan is terrified of them.He hides to avoid them which can be seen as a parallel to hiding in silence. He is so frightened that he is probably unable to think of other strategies or risk other strategies to cope.
3. Action event.
A dog with superpowers shows up in an unexpected way in Dylan’s life. He pops up in the garbage skiff where Dylan is hiding.
Reaction
Disbelief and more fear.
Emotional reaction
Initially mistrusts both the dog and his own faculties. Then Alfie wins him over by eliciting Dylan’s sympathy, Alfie is starving. Alfie demonstrates their two-way telepathic capabilities, creating a begining trust with Dylan.
4. Action event.
Steve Dylan’s Dad comes home and gets angry with Dylan and the dog.
Reaction
Dylan now has to cope with caring for the dog and the mess he has made, and his father’s anger, Dylan is unable to communicate the circumstances.
Emotional reaction
Dylan is becoming more concerned about the dog’s sorry state. Not just isolated with his own sad state. He feels confused about what to do with communicating with his Dad. Dylan is upset about the prospect of losing Alfie.
5. Action event
Dylan finds out via telepathic communication and his interaction with Alfie in the bathtub that Alfie is homeless and has been starving for some time.
Reaction
Even though Dylans has just endured his father’s wrath, he risks taking Alfie into the kitchen and raids the family fridge of most of its contents to feed Alfie
Emotional Reaction
Dylan cares about Alfie, he is thinking about someone other than himself. He is willing to take a risk with possible negative consequences, more of Dad’s anger, by caring in a practical way for Alfie and feeding him the family groceries.
6. Action event
Alfie coaches Dylan to draw pictures as a possible way of communicating his troubles to his father.
Reaction
Dylan agrees to make the pictures as a way to solve the problems, getting his Dad to understand.
Emotional reaction
Dylan’s dad fails to notice the pictures that have been left out for him. Dylan reacts by feeling hopeless and sad and believes his Dad does not care about him. He believes he is more interested in Elizabeth.
7. Action event
Dylan encounters the bully boys at the park, he is very anxious about what might happen next.
Reaction
Dylan holds back with Alfie. The boys approach and to Dylan’s surprise, the boys want to make friends with his dog. Dylan notices that the alpha bully boy holds back and wonders why.
Emotional reaction
Dylan goes through up and down emotions, first apprehensive, then relief and surprise, perhaps hopeful that he can make friends with the boys. He wonders about the Alpha bully.
8. Action event
Dylan observes his friend Daisy being locked in the school cellar by Elizabeth.
Reaction
Dylan adopts a superhero mode with Alfie’s encouragement, Dylan finds his Dad and drags him to the school to rescue Daisy. Dylan uses his first words in two years, Daisy.
Emotional reaction
At first, Dylan does not know what to do, he is confused and frustrated by his own no-talking rule. As Alfie encourages him to become a hero, Dylan feels proud and brave.
9.Action event
At the school, Dylan gets his Dad to fetch Elizabeth to unlock the door. Daisy is scared of Elizabeth. Daisy pretends that it was an accident and takes responsibility for being locked in the cellar.
Reaction
Dylan’s Dad gets annoyed, feels Dylan is causing trouble. The possibility of boarding school is brought up for the first time.
Emotional reaction
Dylan is horrified, Dylan implodes.
10 Action event
Steve and Dylan have an interview with Elizabeth at the school. Steve Agrees to take the application form home for the boarding school.
Action event
11. On the way home, Steve says he is seriously considering boarding school.
Reaction.
Dylan runs away from his Dad and hides in the garbage skiff.
Emotional reaction
Dylan implodes, feeling shocked, abandoned unloved, and unsafe, he attempts further isolation in the garbage skiff.
12. Action Event
Dylan is eventually found by Alfie. Steve finds Alfie and Dylan and clears the air re misunderstanding of Dylan’s troubles
Reaction
Dylan mistrusts Alfie to begin with, then Alfie enlightens Dylan as to the misunderstanding between him and his Dad and explains that talking could have avoided the whole mess.
Emotional reaction
Frightened Dylan, feels hopeless about how to get out of his predicament. He has an epiphany as the result of Dylan’s actions are reviewed with Alfie. Dylan is relieved when his Dad arrives.
13,
Action event
Dylan hears his Dad phoning the school board and reporting Elizabeth,
Reaction
Dylan is very relieved.
Emotional reaction
Dylan expresses his love for his Dad with a hug. Dylan is feeling protected and safer.
14 Action event
Alfie and Dylan spend time together with Alfie and Dylan still communicating telepathically.
Reaction Dylan draws a picture of Alfie and Dylan together and draws a heart around the picture.
Reaction
Dylan decides to try one more time. He gives the picture to his Dad.
Steve says the dog can stay until New Year if Dylan works on speaking again.
Emotional reaction
Dylan hugs his Dad and Alfie. Inside he is troubled as he does not know if he can speak again.
Alfie encourages Dylan with coaching and confidence.
15 Action event
On the day of the school concert, Dad and Dylan observe the school alpha bully being pushed, smacked, and verbally abused by his mother.
Reaction
Steve suggests Dylan try to make friends with the boy.
Emotional reaction
Dylan feels sorry for the boy but is still ambivalent about approaching him.
16 Action event
Dylan Alfie and Steve go for a walk, Dylan uses his special sign language to indicate he wants to go to the bakery.
Reaction
Dylan likes the very friendly baker., and thinks she would make a good girlfriend for his Dad.
Emotional reaction
Happiness due to the Christmas season, the baker, the goodies, and spending time with his Dad.
17.
Action event
All, including the baker, go for a walk on the seafront to have hot chocolate and enjoy the Christmas display.
Reaction
Dylan uses his words, a whole sentence to express joy for the Christmas tree
Emotional reaction
Dylan is feeling secure and therefore able to risk. He is happy and feels connectedness to his people.
DILEMMA
ORIGINAL Dylan feels safe not talking, and close to his bereaved mother’s death, e also feels hopeless/joyless trying to deal with everything going wrong in his life. Alfie coaches him toward happiness.
NEW
Dylan wants to stay silent, he feels closer to his departed mother, he feels safe and lonely, until things go very wrong in his outside world, pushing him to make a choice he does not want to make.
THEME Metaphorphasis.
The way forward is through letting go of the illusion of safety. The relentless forces of the outside world make Dylan’s changes almost inevitable. Finding the way through grief to live again with the help of his dog, friends, and his Dad, he has to give up his cocoon of silence and deal with life
CHANGES TO BEATS PASS 5
BEATS
1. OPENING
EXT.VILLAGE SCHOOL/DAY
DYLAN exits school, looking warily behind, and then starts to run.
MISS ELIZABETH PERKINS is standing on the school steps, smiling and watching as a group of boys start to pursue Dylan into the village High St.
CHANGE
DYLAN exits school, looking warily behind, and then starts to run.
MISS ELIZABETH PERKINS is standing on the school steps, smiling and watching as a group of boys start to pursue Dylan into the village High St.
Dylan is terrified of the bully boys. He hides to avoid them which can be seen as a parallel to hiding in silence. He is so frightened that he is probably unable to think of other strategies or risk other strategies to cope. As the boys pursue Dylan, they call him names including “Dummy boy, Dumbo.”
2. INCITING INCIDENT
EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET/DAY
Terrified, Dylan hides in doorways and eventually is forced to jump into a garbage skiff at the back of the fish and chip shop.
CHANGE
Terrified, Dylan hides in doorways and eventually is forced to jump into a garbage skiff at the back of the fish and chip shop.
A dog with superpowers shows up in an unexpected way. He pops up in the garbage skiff where Dylan is hiding.
Reaction
Disbelief and more fear.
Emotional reaction
Initially mistrusts both the dog and his own faculties. Then Alfie wins him over by eliciting Dylan’s sympathy, Alfie is starving. Alfie demonstrates their two-way telepathic capabilities, creating some trust with Dylan.
INT.GARBAGE SKIFF/DAY
The bully boys give up. Dylan emerges from under the trash; he hears noises, very scared he starts to cry, and then a dirty scruffy huge all-black Newfoundland (ALFIE) emerges with the fish and chip newspaper wrapping in his mouth. Dylan screams and cowers in fear. Alfie speaks telepathically to Dylan
CHANGE
contd. bursting Dylan’s protective bubble with two way telepathic communication
FIRST TURNING POINT
ORIGINAL VERSION
Alfie wins Dylan over with his telepathic superpowers. They go home to find a starving Alfie food.
NEW VERSION
Dylan is shocked when Alfie talks to him telepathically and refuses to believe it’s happening. Alfie wins Dylan over by explaining that they have to leave or get caught by the bullies. He elicits Dylan’s empathy by explaining he is starving and needs food. (this is the start of taking Dylan out of a selfish type of isolation. Dylan rebels at Alfie’s suggestion to get raw scraps of meat at the butcher shop and takes Alfie home for food and a bath. Dylan mistakenly thinks they have time before his father arrives home from work.
INT.STEVE AND DYLAN’S COTTAGE/DAY ORIGINAL
Steve returns earlier than expected coming home to find a big mess. Dylan is discovered washing Alfie in the bathtub. Steve tells Dylan they cannot keep the dog. Steve is annoyed as Elizabeth the teacher was to come over for supper, now the house is muddy and smells like a dog. Steve says Alfie can only stay for the night.
CHANGE
Steve returns earlier than expected coming home to find a big mess. Dylan is discovered washing Alfie in the bathtub.
Steve shouts at Dylan telling his son that the stress of his silence is causing Steve grief and the dog is the last straw.
Reaction
Dylan now has to cope with caring for the dog and the mess he has made, and his father’s anger, Dylan is unable to communicate the circumstances.
Emotional reaction
Dylan is becoming more concerned about the dog’s sorry state. Not just isolated with his own sad state. He feels confused about what to do with communicating with his Dad. Dylan is upset about the prospect of losing Alfie.
While Dylan is bathing Alfie there is a two-way telepathic conversation revealing that Alfie is a homeless dog, and underneath his big furry coat he is skin and bones, Dylan expresses affection and caring for Alfie, and raids most of the contents of the family fridge to give him a good feed, risking more of his Dad’s wrath.
SECOND TURNING POINT ORIGINAL
INT: INDIAN RESTAURANT/EVENING
Elizabeth suggests that the answer to Steve’s problems and the impediment to their continued relationship is to send Dylan to a boarding school. Steve dumps an angry Elizabeth
THIRD TURNING POINT
ORIGINAL
INT.DYLAN’S BEDROOM/DAY
Alfie encourages Dylan to try to communicate with his Dad about his troubles with bullies and the mean Miss Perkins by using pictures,
Steve runs out of the house in the morning as he is late for his bus route. He does not see the pictures. Dylan takes his pictures away believing that his Dad is not interested.
CHANGE
.Alfie encourages Dylan to try to communicate with his Dad about his troubles with bullies and the mean Miss Perkins using drawings
Emotional reaction
Dylan’s dad fails to notice the pictures that have been left out for him. Dylan reacts by feeling hopeless and sad and believes his Dad does not care about him. He believes he is more interested in Elizabeth.
CHANGE NEW ADDITIONS
EXT.PARK/EARLY MORNING
Before school, Dylan and Alfie go to the park to play. They see the bully boys walking towards them. Dylan is apprehensive. All of the boys but one, want to come and meet Alfie. The alpha bully hangs back scared of Alfie.
CHANGE
Emotional reaction
Dylan goes through up and down emotions, first apprehensive, then relief and surprise, perhaps hopeful that he can make friends with the boys. He wonders about the Alpha bully.
CRISIS
INT.SCHOOL/MORNING
Dylan observes his friend Daisy. Elizabeth is locking her into the school cellar. Dylan runs away from the school finding his Dad on his bus driving route.
CHANGE
INT.STEVE”S BUS/DAY
Dylan boards the bus. He makes a fuss. Steve is frustrated as he cannot understand what is going on. Finally, Dylan says “Help Daisy, help Daisy.
Reaction
Dylan adopts a superhero mode with Alfie’s encouragement, Dylan finds his Dad and drags him to the school to rescue Daisy. Dylan uses his first words in two years
Emotional reaction
At first, Dylan does not know what to do, he is confused and frustrated by his own no-talking rule. As Alfie encourages him to become a hero, Dylan feels proud and brave.
INT.SCHOOL/DAY
Dylan and Steve go to the cellar door, they can hear Daisy crying. Steve fetches the school principal. Steve informs the school principal that Elizabeth locked Daisy in the cellar. Elizabeth comes running, and with evil looks at Daisy intimidates Daisy into taking responsibility for locking herself in the cellar.
CHANGE
Dylan and Steve go to the cellar door, they can hear Daisy crying. Steve fetches the school principal. Steve informs the school principal that Elizabeth locked Daisy in the cellar. Elizabeth comes running, and with evil looks at Daisy intimidates Daisy into taking responsibility for locking herself in the cellar.
Reaction
Dylan’s Dad gets annoyed, feels Dylan is causing trouble. The possibility of boarding school is brought up for the first time.
Emotional reaction
Dylan is horrified, Dylan implodes. Steve doubts his ability to help Dylan.
CLIMAX
INT.DYLAN”S SCHOOLROOM/DAY
CHANGES
INT.DYLAN’S SCHOOLROOM/DAY
Steve has been summoned to an interview at Dylan’s school, Elizabeth says Dylan is in trouble again for fighting. This is a lie. Steve agrees to consider the boarding school option and takes the paperwork home.
Action event
11. On the way home, Steve says he is seriously considering boarding school.
Reaction.
Dylan runs away from his Dad and hides in the garbage skiff.
Emotional reaction
Dylan implodes, feeling shocked, abandoned unloved, and unsafe, he attempts further isolation in the garbage skiff.
INT.STEVE AND DYLAN’S COTTAGE/EVENING
Steve is pacing the floor, he calls the village police and tells them Dylan has run away.
Alfie finds the envelope with Dylan’s drawings and whines and barks until Steve looks at them.
Steve sees the pictures of abuse at the school and finally the penny drops. Steve looks at Alfie and asks him to find Dylan.
EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET/NIGHT
Alfie barks and steers Steve to the garbage skiff where Alfie and Dylan originally met. Steve lifts the lid on the skiff where he finds Dylan.
Action Event
When Steve finds Alfie and Dylan and clears the air re misunderstanding of Dylan’s troubles
Reaction
Dylan mistrusts Alfie, to begin with, then Alfie enlightens Dylan as to the misunderstanding between him and his Dad and explains that talking could have avoided the whole mess.
Emotional reaction
Frightened Dylan, feels hopeless about how to get out of his predicament. He has an epiphany as the result of Dylan’s actions are reviewed with Alfie. Dylan is relieved when his Dad arrives.
INT. AT THE COTTAGE/EVENING
Steve phones the school board, reports his concerns, and tells his son not to worry he is not going to the boarding school, he apologizes for not understanding or believing Dylan
CHANGES
Action event
Dylan hears his Dad phoning the school board and reporting Elizabeth,
Reaction
Dylan is very relieved.
Emotional reaction
Dylan expresses his love for his Dad with a hug. Dylan is feeling protected and safer.
RESOLUTION
INT.THE COTTAGE/MORNING
Steve calls the pound. No one has claimed Alfie. Steve says If Aflie makes Dylan happy and gets him to start talking, he can keep him until New Year. But only till New Year.
INT.DYLAN’S ROOM/MORNING.
Alfie spends more time with Dylan explaining how important it was for him to speak, he saved Daisy from the cellar. He also talks to him about loving his mother and making his mother happy by talking and enjoying his life. Dylan is still silent. He draws another picture of Alfie with a big heart around Dylan and Alfie, he gives it to his Dad.
CHANGE
Reaction
Alfie spends more time with Dylan explaining how important it was for him to speak, he saved Daisy from the cellar. He also talks to him about loving his mother and making his mother happy by talking and enjoying his life.
Dylan decides to try one more time. He draws another picture of Alfie with a big heart around Dylan and Alfie, he gives it to his Dad. Steve says the dog can stay until New Year if Dylan works on speaking again.
Emotional reaction
Dylan hugs his Dad and Alfie. Inside he is troubled as he does not know if he can speak again.
Alfie encourages Dylan with coaching and confidence.
CHANGE NEW BEAT ADDED
EXT. SCHOOL/DAY
It’s the day of the school Christmas concert. Dylan and Steve are walking from the parking area towards the school with many other parents. Dylan points to the alpha bully boy being smacked and pushed by the bully’s mother.
Emotional Reaction
Dylan feels sorry for the bully boy. Steve points out that this is how he has learned to bully. Dylan wonders if the bully is lonely.
INT.VILLAGE BAKERY/AFTERNOON
Dylan, Steve, and Alfie go shopping in the village. Dylan points and waves at the bakery.
They go in and buy all sorts of Christmas goodies. Steve seems to really see Mickey the baker for the first time. He likes her. Alfie gets more dog cookies. Mickey is just about to close the shop and suggest they all go to the seafront cafe for hot chocolate.
Action event
Dylan Alfie and Steve go for a walk,
CHANGE
Emotional reaction
Dylan likes the very friendly baker., and thinks she would make a good girlfriend for his Dad.
Happiness due to the Christmas season, the baker, the goodies, and spending time with his Dad.
EXT.VILLAGE HIGH STREET NEAR SEA FRONT/NIGHT
Dylan holds his Dad’s hand and points to the village’s huge Christmas tree, lights sparkling snowflakes falling. Dylan speaks “The tree Dad, it’s like Christmas magic..”
Steve says ” I guess Alfie is staying, our forever dog”
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by anna harper.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by
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June Fortunato’s Pass #5 Action/reaction for “Retirement”
5. Above your work, answer the question “What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…As we say in Philly, “Yo!” This assignment needs much more time.It’s helpful. I discovered how to work the subplots- how to connect the arena- but I’m cutting my losses and will post now and continue working.
Concept * Crazyass Roy can get his SSI and vet’s benefits, but only if he stops running and gets a permanent place to live. Just when he almost convinces himself to do that, he’s smitten with Kim- a smart and sassy moocher who loves him, too, but can’t stop to face her own dark past.
– Protagonist Goal- Roy 60s *To get his god given SSI and Veterans benefits and have a choice to live as he wishes- but since he can’t do that- to find a permanent address so that he can get his benefits. After he meets Kim, to get Kim to be the permanent home for his heart. To stop her from committing suicide.
– Protagonist Goal- Kim 50s To find every way possible to damage her parents’ reputation- those ‘good people’ by insuring that with every action- others know whose daughter she is – to live wild and never give her parents what they wanted- And when she meets Roy- to gain an ally to do outrageous things- to have as much fun as possible and to make him promise that when she commits suicide, they know it was because of her parents.
– Protagonist Character Arc: Roy * A runaway freight train- a man who lives rough; plows through life and avoids being fully human… a charming super moocher who can’t work for long because he expects himself to fail –
a man afraid to tell anyone who he really is to A man who comes to terms and who finds the strength to accept himself- a willingness to finally learn to live, to love and to hope.
– Protagonist Character Arc: Kim A woman on the edge who’s so deeply wounded and insecure that she carries on loud conversations with herself – the bold “self” announces to the world how strong she is- and that strong persona pushes her to take monumental risks- to spite herself- to do herself damage- she aches to be stable but cannot stop shouting against her pain to A woman who knows that she can have true security, really can give her trust, and is coming together, to become what she should have been all along.
– Main Conflict: Roy Time is limited- can’t get a place without money and can’t get money without his place- Kim won’t go along so what’s the point of going on anyway? But he’s got to convincer her because her goal is wrong.
2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story. and list it.
Opening
1) Roy waits for hours outdoors for his girl, Suzy, to calm down/his girl has moved out.
2) Roy enters the empty house – drinks from his stashed booze bottles, and sleeps in a hallway.
3) Landlord & cleaning crew arrive/Roy hides in the bathroom, gathers hidden hand tools, escapes out of the window and jacks the cleaning crew’s van, which he deliberately smashes into a WAWA to get a free bed (aka jail) He’s arrested.
4) In jail he protects a teen from the thugs in the cell. They find the food rancid, and together smash it all over the floor and slide around.
5) Fearful that he’ll be forced to eat it anyway, and knowing that the thugs who share the cell will pummel him, he stuffs the food into the toilet and clogs it.
6) In the hospital, in traction- his ex, Suzy, who’s a nurse finds him. Her first line is: “There’s the guy who owes me $1500.” She makes sure that the person who’ll bathe Roy isn’t gentle, but on the other hand she hooks him up with a pro-bono lawyer.
Inciting Incident(s) for Roy and Kim Sequence While: Kim is in the hospital recovering from a bullet wound. She and Roy meet in the hallway. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>It’s kismet. Roy decides to stay as long as possible.
7) Roy seeks Kim and overhears Kim in an argument with her father (a high-up muckety muck in the city) and her father’s wife. They argue that they will deny Kim’s claim that they shot her, and tell everyone that it was self-inflicted, and get her locked up. Kim is paralyzed with fear <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>and anger. They have done this before.
Roy interferes by saying that he and Kim are required in physical therapy. He grabs her clothes and whisks her out. Kim slips away and heads to a restroom. Roy waits a bit, but when the parents storm out of the room, he diverts them to the OR, stating that Kim collapsed and they wheeled her out. They follow his directions.
8) Kim slips out of the restroom, fully dressed, grabs someone’s keys from the nurse’s station and takes off.
9) Later, Roy looks for Kim but she is gone. Instead, he’s confronted by his ex, Suzy, whose keys were stolen. She searches his room, but he’s clearly unaware of the circumstances. She tells Roy that she’s hooked him up with a lawyer to help him settle his debts- including the $1500. he owes her.
10) The court learns that Roy declared himself dead and therefore, he hasn’t been collecting his SSI, Veteran’s benefits and Medal of Honor pay boost. The amount is significant. The lawyer has somehow miraculously figured out how to correct that situation- but Roy is indigent, and if he wants to ‘stay alive’ he has to get a bank account and to do that- a permanent address. His bills for the van, wawa, hospital and to his ex are paid- but future benefits come with the bank/home criteria. He’s also told that his body cannot take the rough life for much longer. Nonetheless, they are asking him to change who he is- his whole way of being- his identity. That’s a hard nut to swallow. He’s wheeled back to the hospital, where he looks for Kim but she’s gone.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>End of first 10 pages
11) Kim parks the ex’s Suzy’s car in a garage, and heads into a boutique. She chats with an older woman in the next changing booth-Marilyn- advising on style, etc- and grabs clothes for her some of which she keeps for herself by slipping them under her street clothes. She also swaps the woman’s car-park ticket with her own.
12) Kim gets the really nice car and finds good things including a gym pass all of which she takes.
13) The lady in the dressing room, Marilyn, goes to the car park and gets Suzy’s car instead. She worries that her pets are home and need to be cared for. Instead, police are called to file a report and she is greatly delayed.
14) Kim is in a fancy gym/club, sitting by the swimming pool talking loudly to herself.
15) Roy’s ex, Suzy, gets a call that her car was found. Roy’s still in hospital garb and smiles sweetly.
16) The lady, Marilyn, finally gets home to her townhouse and her pets are frantic. One trips her so she breaks a hip. While waiting for an ambulance, she calls a neighbor to pet sit but she <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>worries about the reliability of the kid.
17.) Kim goes to Marilyn’s car in the gym parking lot and drives it back to the car park where she stole it and walks away. She enters the stage entrance of a theatre and finds a good place to hide in the dressing rooms for the night. Later, when the theatre is empty she indulges in the snack bar food and booze.
18) Roy is released from the hospital with a reminder to get a bank account/permanent place by 6 weeks time. A box of hot baguettes delivered to the Bellevue hotel catch his eye. He grabs one before anyone notices. Clean and in the suit given to him for court, he wanders into the Bellevue hotel and finds his way to an unused apron-type balcony overlooking one of the meeting rooms.
Excellent. He gets to listen to the meetings, and later, after everyone leaves, to grab food from the break tables set along the walls. He even gets a couple of bottles of open wine. High times.
19) Kim: The theatre is ‘dark’ as in no shows, so Kim is having a blast dressing in costumes and reading scripts aloud on the stage- acting all of the parts. When people enter a couple of days later, she makes a hasty retreat- still wearing an Edwardian costume and grabbing her street clothes.
Cut back and forth between their actions.
20) Roy goes to a bank but can’t get an account.
21) Kim takes a bus to a neighborhood at the edge of city park. There’s a cabin near a cliff. She yanks out all of the flowers around the cabin. She smashes a window. Then she gets on a bus and heads back to center city.
22) Roy tries to secure an apartment but without money to deposit he’s rejected. When the rental agent leaves, he sneaks in and grabs the firehose, makes a noose and hangs it outside over the entrance.
End of Act 1
Act II Roy and Kim together
23) Roy returns to the Bellevue to his balcony.
24) The older lady, Marilyn, now in the hospital is taken care of by Roy’s ex., Suzy. Marilyn can’t get info about her pets and is worried sick. Suzy suggests that Roy might be a mooch, but when it comes to animals, he would do great. Let him pet sit. He’s trustworthy. Marilyn says she’d consider giving him a one-day trial but she needs to meet him.
25) Kim wanders into the Bellevue and sneaks into a suite when housekeeping exits. When she leaves the suite, she rigs the door to be able to re-open it.
26) Roy gets a lovely plate of food from Sunday brunch and heads to a stairwell to enjoy it. He finds Kim in the same stairwell eating and they connect. They compare food choices and he gallantly offers her a napkin, etc. Afterwards, Kim invites Roy to her suite. It’s riskier than the balcony, but a lot more comfortable. Plus, there’s a mini bar. They share stories but are platonic.
27) Roy and Kim brainstorm places to mooch/freeload and try to outdo each other. They make a list of pros and cons and then a bucket list for the two of them: a spin the bottle game. This is an emotional breakthrough. Neither of them has had this kind of buddy- ever or maybe as a child. Kim calls for room service for the room across the hall. When the people from across the hall leave she catches the door and stays there until room service arrives. Then she rolls it back to her suite and she and Roy have another feast. Later, lux baths and they sleep in beautiful beds.
28) They can’t stay anywhere too long, though. They head on a ‘free’ casino bus to Atlantic city. On the way, they <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>stop at an animal refuge where Kim has volunteered. Here she learns what a softie Roy is for animals. They beg a meal, and a night’s stay, and the next day get a ride to Atlantic City.
29) Marilyn is still in the hospital and Suzy, unable to get ahold of Roy, pet sits for Marilyn until she can figure something else out. The townhouse is close by, anyway, and Suzy lives alone so it’s OK for the moment.
30) Roy and Kim are in Atlantic City and go to a carnival there. It’s a blast. They sneak onto rides, into fun houses and steal food. But when Roy sees a family- something about them <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>triggers him to melt down- PTSD– he’s distraught. He goes wild, jumps onto a stage, drags Kim onto the stage with him- it’s a horrific scene. People haul him off and drag him into a holding room- where Kim stays with him and sings to him, whispers to him, calms him. He reveals part of his past. She tells him that she knows he’s a good man. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Kim shows Roy love that neither he nor she has ever felt. She brings him joy and with her, Roy later comes to believe that they can take on the world. She helps but also triggers these things, and she stays by him until she pulls him out of it. His facing the past, his fear and abject self loathing resonates with Kim so she disappears when it <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>gets too close to her own trauma for comfort. When police arrive, she talks to them outside of the room, and then when she convinces them that he’s OK, and she leaves.
31) Roy wanders the beach looking for Kim. Finally, he catches the casino bus back to CC, and intends to go back to the Bellevue balcony. On the way there, he sees Suzy, who’s anxious to release herself from pet sitting, so she takes him to meet Marilyn.
32) They hit it off.
33) The next day, Kim, having slept in a meeting room closet in AC, tries to find Roy on his balcony but <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>he’s no longer there.
Act II mid-point sequence Roy starts a progression of scenes where he slowly comes to terms with his past.
TO BE CONTINUED
3. Make a list of the emotional moments the Protagonist will go through that will cause him or her to face the change they need to make.
Emotional moments are in bold through the list.
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Arthur’s Pass #5: Action / Reaction
What I’ve learned doing this assignment is: Since my antagonist is man/woman versus nature, creating an Action/Reaction Events Chart and tracking the protagonist’s emotional moments in the script help build the tension in the script.
1. Tell us the following:
– Concept:
1. Tell us your concept.
When a coronal mass ejection (CME) from the sun destroys all electronic technology on earth six astronauts and one reporter on the international research spacecraft Reliant must adapt the experimental Tesla Shield technology that saved their spacecraft to shield humanity from a larger earth-destroying CME just days away.
– Protagonist Goal:
Accomplish the mission of saving the earth from the coronal mass ejection while keeping her crew safe.
– Protagonist Character Arc:
Starts by assuming responsibility for everyone’s lives to letting her crew determine their own fate.
– Main Conflict:
The crew of the Reliant must adapt an untested Tesla shield technology to save the earth from extinction-level Coronal Mass Ejection from the sun within 48 hours.
2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story.
and list it.
Reilly wants the crew to abandon ship – Crew wants to stay on mission
Reilly decides to take the shuttle to the moon can’t spare crew – Skyler, the reporter volunteers to help
Reilly must sacrifice Chase to save earth – Crew joins with her on decision
3. Make a list of the emotional moments the Protagonist will go
through that will cause him or her to face the change they need
to make.
Reilly has a flashback of her previous crash and loss of crew – must move forward as crew decides to stay on mission and not return to earth to save the earth.
Reilly must overcome her fears of her former accident and crash land the shuttle on the moon base.
Reilly realizes she must sacrifice Chase to save the earth. The crew won’t let her make the decision alone and joins her in firing off the shield that sacrifices Chase.
4. Place the actions you like from #2 and emotional moments
from #3 in your current outline — and list the outline.
Pool reporter Skyler Hardwick’s live broadcast introduces the crew of the International Deep Space Research Spacecraft Reliant and their mission to test a new Tesla Space Shield for interstellar travel. The broadcast is interrupted by an emergency transmission from NASA.
EXT SPACE
Looking at the earth with the moon in the background as a massive spaceship with two counter-rotating rings at its center ENTERS from the left side of FRAME. The name Reliant is prominent on its bow.
INT RELIANT
International pool reporter, Skyler Hardwick takes us through the spacecraft, introducing the live audience to the Relaint’s crew. From the rear of the ship moving froward we meet the following personnel as each gives her a brief on the job on the mission:
Oleg Ryakin – Russian male Mechanical engineer, PhD – designer of the antimatter containment field that powers the ship.
Nico Lee – Chinese female anti-matter propulsion physicist, Phd.
Tara Cooper – black French female scalar wave and Quantum physicist, Phd.
Diego Quinn – male Hispanic life science specialist. MD. PhD.
Chase Douglas – US black male 1st Officer and celestial navigation specialist. PhD
Reilly Ryan – US white female Captain and nuclear physicist, PhD.
INT RELIANT – BRIDGE
The interview concludes with Capt. Reilly explaining to Skyler that this mission is to test the new Tesla Shield that is necessary to protect the space craft from objects it cannot maneuver to avoid as it travels near the speed of light. Reilly blind-sides her by asking if she feels she is the right person to lead this mission having been the Captain and only survivor of a five man crew in an aborted take off less than four years ago. At this moment an emergency klaxon goes off. Skyler concludes the broadcast as Chase calls for the Captain to join him in the Command Module.
2. Inciting Incident
NASA informs the Reliant a Coronal Mass Ejection that was thought to be bypassing earth, masked a larger one behind it that will hit the earth and the Reliant in minutes. With no time to use the shuttle to return to earth before the CME hits, Captain Reilly and the crew determine that using the untested Tesla Shield is their only hope of surviving. A scramble begins to initiate the shield before the CMJ arrives.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about.
INT COMMAND MODULE
A circular module with an six-foot diameter table at its center. Chase is sitting at one of the six chairs surrounding the table, each with its own work station. As the rest of the crew enters Chase displays a 3d projection above the table. The NASA Flight Director, Jack Stone, appears on the screen and informs the crew a Coronal Mass ejection from the sun that is to pass by the earth in moments masked a larger CME that is going to hit earth with devastating effect in less than six hours. He projects a 3D model of the CME hitting and destroying satellites, the space station, and the Reliant as it penetrates the earth’s magnetic field destroying all modern electronics. He shows another projection of an even larger earth-destroying CME hitting in 48 hours. He tells the crew that all manned space stations are being evacuated to earth, including the Reliant.
With barely enough time to travel back to earth before the CME hits, Captain Reilly orders the crew to prepare to abandon the ship in the shuttle. Tara stops them all by bringing up a 3D representation of the ship and asks why they can’t save the trillion-dollar ship by using the Tesla Shield. She plays the 3D rendering from NASA but adds the Tesla Shield protecting the ship. Reilly reminds her they are under orders, the shield has never been tested, and if it fails, they’ll all be killed. Chase argues that if they don’t try it the CME will have killed the space program for decades. Oleg weighs in that he’s for trying the shield and Nico agrees it should work. Quinn reminds them if they go to earth they will live but it will be like being in the 1800s with no electricity or electronic devices.
INT SPACE SHUTTLE (FLASHBACK)
Reilly is in the pilot’s seat as the shuttle roars toward space, the control panel suddenly flashes red as one of the three main engines blows up sending fragments into the other two. She and the copilot run through the abort checklist and frantically hit switches and pull levers as the other four crew members watch helplessly from their seats. Someone calling her name brings her back to the present moment: “Reilly!”
Reilly snaps back to the present and tells them that she cannot order anyone to do this. It has to be unanimous or they all go home. She asks Tara, Nico and Oleg what are the odds. Tara 60/40, Oleg 70/30, Nico 50/50. Reilly tells the crew to go to their quarters, talk it over with their families, then they will vote. Skyler asks if she gets a vote. Reilly tells Skyler no; she is being sent home in an escape pod.
INT NICO’S QUARTERS
Her parents praise her for her contribution and willingness to stay aboard the Reliant. It is evident that they are not used to expressing emotions, however, Nico cannot stop the tears from rolling down her face.
INT CHASE’S QUARTERS
Chase talks with his mom, dad, and sister who have been brought to the underground bunker at NASA for the CME event. They are concerned he didn’t come back to earth but understand his reasons.
INT ENGINEERING
Oleg talks with his wife and daughter who are in an underground bunker in Moscow. The big bear of a man reveals his soft side while talking with his daughter.
INT TARA’S QUARTERS
Tara talks with her stepparents at their vineyard. It’s an emotional exchange as her parents assure her, they will be fine in their underground cask aging room.
INT DR. QUINN’S QUARTERS
Dr. Quinn talks with his wife, son, and daughter who are in a bunker outside Washington, DC. He encourages his kids to think of this as a great adventure and to help out their mom who can’t suppress her tears.
INT SKYLER’S QUARTERS
Skyler talks with her soon-to-be ex-husband news anchor who tells her the reason she can’t reach her parents is that they are being relocated to a bunker in Colorado. He is going to stay on the air as long as possible during the CME. Skyler tells Jim she is staying with the ship. Their conversation exposes unfulfilled expectations and regrets.
INT BRIDGE
Reilly talks to the only remaining member of her family: her dad, Buck. She laughs that everyone at NASA thought he was crazy when he retired as a top engineer and converted an old Atlas missile silo into a house, but now it looks like was smarter than all of them. He reminds her to try and contact him on the ham frequency after the CME as everything else will be down. An alert on the console ends their chat and Reilly calls everyone back to their stations.
EXT BUCK’S SILO
Buck exits his silo and looks up to the sky. He pushes a button on the remote he is holding and the blast doors to his silo begin closing as he heads inside.
INT COMMAND MODULE
Reilly calls for a vote. Everyone raises their hand except for Reilly and Skyler, who asks if she gets a vote. Reilly tells Skyler no; she is being sent home in an escape pod. Then Reilly raises her hand to make it unanimous. She orders Chase to prep Skyler for evacuation and the rest of the crew to prep the shield. Skyler asks Chase why they can’t just use the engines on the ship to move out of the way? Chase tells her it would take 12 hours to spin up the anti-matter drives.
INT RELIANT BRIDGE
Reilly video calls Jack to let him know what the crew has decided to do and Skyler is being sent home in an escape pod. Skyler enters the bridge and asks both of them to let her stay. Someone needs to document what happens. They give her the OK.
INT ENGINEERING
Oleg scrambles to bring the fission generator up to full power as Nico works with the AI computer to calculate the energy output necessary for the shield generation. Tara confers with both as she aligns the frequency generator. It’s organized chaos.
INT RELIANT (MONTAGE)
Skyler moves among the crew as they scramble to bring the Tesla Shield up to full power.
EXT RELIANT
A large mast begins to extend from the front and rear of the Reliant. As it reaches its full extension a web shape in the form of an umbrella unfolds at the top of the mast.
INT COMMAND MODULE
Reilly, Tara, Nico, and Quinn sit at workstations with screens deployed from the table top with Skyler moving around behind them videoing their actions. A 3D presentation of the ship earth and the approaching Coronal Mass Ejection is projected above the center of the table. They talk with Chase at the helm and Oleg in engineering over the com system. The countdown to impact on the screen reads 3 minutes.
EXT RELIANT
Thrusters fire slowly turning the ship to face the sun.
INT BRIDGE
Chase confirms that he has maneuvered the ship for a head-on strike by the CME.
INT ENGINEERING
Oleg moves quickly among all the fission reactor controls, tweaking them for maximum output. Tells them he’s ready to energize fire the shield.
INT COMMAND MODULE
Reilly orders Tara to fire the shield.
EXT RELIANT
A burst of blue plasma engulfs the umbrella-like structure on the front of the mast and then extends in an oblong shape connecting to the mast at the rear of the ship covering the shielding the ship 360 degrees.
INT COMMAND MODULE
A sigh of relief and cheers go up from the crew at the successful test. At that moment the countdown hits Zero.
EXT RELIANT
The coronal mass ejection hits the Tesla Shield and blossoms around the shield in a fiery arc trailing miles behind it.
INT ENGINEERING
Klaxon begins to blare overload warnings as Oleg struggles to maintain maximum power output.
INT COMMAND MODULE
Nico and Tara struggle to keep the Shield power and frequency modulation in alignment as Reilly moves to the bridge.
INT BRIDGE
Chase is having trouble keeping the Reliant facing the CME. Reilly joins him on the controls and tells Oleg they need more power from the thrusters. The weakest part of the shield is its sides.
INT BRIDGE
Reilly tells Chase to do his best she has an idea. She is going to use the shuttle’s engines to keep them in alignment.
INT COMMAND MODULE
Reilly moves through the module and climbs the ladder to the shuttle dock. Skyler follows her as Nico and Tara struggle to keep the Shield power and frequency modulation in alignment as Reilly moves to the bridge they share data and make adjustments to the shield. Tara tells everyone they are taking too much side stress on the shield.
INT SHUTTLE
Reilly jumps into the command seat buckles up and starts up the instrument panel. She sees Skyler following and tells her to buckle up. She fires the shuttle’s main engines without undocking from the Reliant. Using the main engine and thrusters she pushes the Reliant back into a head-on alignment with the CME.
EXT EARTH
The Coronal Mass Ejection strikes the earth’s atmosphere pushing deeply into the protective envelope in a burst of rainbow colors.
MONTAGE: CME HITS MAJOR CITIES
MONTAGE: As CME hits major cities in Europe, Russia, the US. The electromagnetic pulse knocks out power, explodes transformers, and destroys all unshielded electronics.
INT BRIDGE
Warning indicators flash, Chase tells Reilly she is overstraining the shuttle docking coupler. Reilly asks Tara how much longer the CME will last. Tara indicates on a few more seconds.
EXT RELIANT
The coronal mass ejection flares in one last push against the Tesla Shield.
INT ENGINEERING
There is a flash in the engine room and Oleg dives behind the control panel as thousands of volts of electricity arc throughout the engine room as the fusion reactor safety circuitry shuts it down.
INT COMMAND MODULE
Nico yells that they are losing the shield.
INT SHUTTLE
Reilly kills the shuttle engines just as the CME is passing.
EXT RELIANT
The last remnants of the CME arc across the Reliant, knocking out all the electrical systems. The CME has passed leaving the Reliant adrift.
INT COMMAND MODULE
Emergency lights engage with the power blackout. Reilly and Skyler emerge from the shuttle dock, joining Tara, Nico, Quinn. Oleg calls in and tells them the fusion reactor is damaged and will not produce enough power to use the shield again, only enough to power the ship’s systems. With no help from earth, they need another reactor.
EXT BUCKS SILO
The last remnants of the CME blast across the landscape of Buck’s silo. Electricity dances across the electrical wires and transformers explode in a gigantic fireworks display.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1
The Tesla Shield has saved the Reliant and crew from the CME, however, the fusion reactor powering the shield has been damaged and will only power the systems on the ship, not the shield.
With other members of the crew needed to maneuver the Reliant in a sling-shot orbit around the moon. Captain Reilly must enlist the aid of the pool reporter, Skyler, to help her retrieve the reactor from the moon base. Skyler is shocked to learn the only way to get to the moon base is by crash landing the shuttle near the base and then using the earth return lunar spacecraft at the moon base to rendezvous with the Reliant.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2
As the crew struggles with its damaged systems of the Reliant to keep it on a sling-shot orbit around the moon, Captain Reilly and Skyler crash land the shuttle by the moon base.
They discovered that the AI controlled moon mining machines have been damaged by the CME and are destroying the base. They acquire the fusion reactor and launch back to the ship just as a mining machine strikes their spacecraft. Reilly struggles with the spacecraft, not designed for what they are making it do, and barely makes it to the Reliant.
7. Crisis
The new fusion reactor is barely installed as the Reliant takes a position to defend the earth. However, the Tesla mask which must be extended for the shield to work is damaged and will not deploy. With every possibility explored and failed, Chase Douglas, the first officer, sneaks off to the cargo bay, suits up, and exits on the space tug.
8. Climax
The crew discovers Chase attaching the space tug to the Tesla mask. Against their vociferous protest, Chase uses the tug to extend the mask just as the CME is about to hit. With no time for him to return to the ship, he begs Reilly to engage the shield: a death sentence for him. Tearfully, Reilly puts her hand on the large red engage button. The other members of the crew put their hands over hers and they all push together. The shield spreads like a lotus blossom as Chase disappears in a flash of light. The CME slams into the shield which deflects its destructive power away from the earth. The Reliant is buffeted as its systems alarms blare with overload warnings but the Tesla Shield holds and the CMJ safely passes by earth.
9. Resolution
A saddened crew is surprised when NASA contacts them from Cheyenne mountain in Colorado. They have been receiving Skyler’s broadcasts throughout the Reliant’s entire adventure. NASA and the world owe them a debt of gratitude that may never be repaid. A crew will be launched within 90 days to relieve them. The crew of the reliant are no longer professional co-workers from individual countries. They are also more than friends bound together by the crucible of near-death experiences and the bonds of mutual commitment, sacrifice, and loss.
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Michael Katz Pass #5: Action / Reaction
What I’ve learned doing this assignment is…? Taking the plot essence sentences and boiling down events and emotional moments into succinct phrases, and then charting them into escalating sequencing really enables you to see the logical development and flow much cleaner and clearer. Now I can add, elevate, move, flip, and keep a grasp of where I am, what’s the purpose, and does it make sense. Very helpful.
1. Tell us the following:
Concept: A narcissistic scientist invents solar energy technology that can end global warming, however, when a government spy sabotages his work, it triggers in him a megalomaniac pursuit of world domination that ends tragically in planetary annihilation.
Protagonist Goal: Can Victorino get vindication and prove how great he and his technology are when there are greedy entrenched interests trying to stop him?
Protagonist Character Arc: Victorino goes from weak altruistic scientist to smiteful almighty god.
Main Conflict: Powerful interests keep throwing obstacles at Victorino to keep him and his technology down, however, to solve that, Victorino tries to gain enough power to take over the world.
2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story and list it.
Action/Reaction Events + Emotional Moments Chart
Protagonist Victorino vs. Antagonist (governments, spy Evans, POTUS)
—————————————————————————————–
ACT 1
Sequence 1
Protagonist Victorino Invents technology
Antagonist Offers to buy technology
Protagonist Victorino Rejects offer
Antagonist Sabotages demonstration
Protagonist Victorino Chases spy Evans
Antagonist Evans beats up Victorino
Sequence 2
Antagonist University President pulls plug on project
Antagonist Police take Victorino away for questioning
Antagonist Laboratory off limits because a crime scene
Antagonist Ruins Victorino’s online media reputation
Antagonist Steals Victorino’s work
Antagonist Thugs with guns chase him from his laboratory
Protagonist Victorino flees for his life
ACT 2a
Sequence 3
Protagonist Victorino Relocates
Protagonist Victorino Adds Imelyna as partner
Protagonist Victorino Builds a laboratory
Protagonist Victorino Invents magnifying glass solar panel
Protagonist Victorino Starts a company
Protagonist Victorino Hires employees
Protagonist Victorino Manufactures magnifying solar panels
Protagonist Victorino Hires PR
Protagonist Victorino Makes a TV commercial
Protagonist Victorino Sells panels by the truckload
Protagonist Victorino Featured in media
Protagonist Victorino Wins technology innovation award
Sequence 4
Antagonist 53 patent infringement lawsuits
Protagonist Victorino Judge: can still sell, pay profits if lose
Antagonist Shipment of goods stalled in port
Protagonist Victorino Commercializes battery receptacle
Protagonist Victorino Makes a TV commercial
Protagonist Victorino Sells by the truckload
Protagonist Victorino Gains media influence
Antagonist Government passes red tape laws
Protagonist Victorino Holds a charitable function
Antagonist Evans flirts with Imelyna
Protagonist Victorino Innovates magnifying layer
Antagonist Hacks computer system and steals IP
Antagonist US passes new law increasing subsidies to fossil fuel companies
Protagonist Victorino Runs for political office
Antagonist Imelyna subject of a dated/fake scandal
Antagonist Imelyna blackballed in Hollywood
Antagonist Media ends Victorino’s political aspirations
Protagonist Victorino Beats up paparazzi
Antagonist Police arrest Victorino
Protagonist Victorino Kills non-spy government regulator
Antagonist Wins patent infringement lawsuits
ACT 2b
Sequence 5
Protagonist Victorino Hides money
Protagonist Victorino Hides in secret lair
Protagonist Victorino Develops a masterplan
Antagonist Evans charms Imelyna
Protagonist Victorino Meets A-list actor environmentalists
Antagonist Evans gathers information but chased away
Protagonist Victorino Relocates to new lair
Protagonist Victorino Recruits lackeys, thugs, and minions
Protagonist Victorino Updates security
Protagonist Victorino Adds spy traps
Protagonist Victorino Hires army of private investigtors
Protagonist Victorino Imelyna accusers arrested for child pornography and embezzlement
Protagonist Victorino Exposes elected officials’ crimes
Antagonist Evans convinces Imelyna to turn against Victorino
Protagonist Victorino Criminal ecoterrorism enterprise
Antagonist Factories burned to the ground
Protagonist Victorino Gets gadgets from Q-type
Antagonist Evans has Imelyna give Victorino a new glasses with listening device
Sequence 6
Protagonist Victorino Relocates to new lair
Antagonist Murders Victorino’s main henchman
Protagonist Victorino Buys off local police to get Evans
Antagonist Evans bombs lair and escapes
Protagonist Victorino Cancels visit to battery receptacle
Protagonist Victorino Kills longtime trusted managers
Protagonist Victorino Exposes disloyal Imelyna
Antagonist Evans rescues Imelyna
Protagonist Victorino Fights Evans
Antagonist Evans wins fight
Protagonist Victorino Uses gadgets to gain upper hand
Antagonist Uses gadgets to injure Victorino
Protagonist Victorino Debates which of them is moral
Antagonist Bombs lair, ruins Victorino’s plan
Protagonist Victorino Becomes a megalomaniac
Antagonist Unable to stop Victorino’s escape
ACT 3
Sequence 7
Protagonist Victorino Relocates to new lair
Protagonist Victorino Addresses world, offers free technology
Protagonist Victorino Tricks Imelyna for password
Antagonist Evans corners Victorino
Protagonist Victorino Wounds Imelyna so can escape
Antagonist Unable to stop Victorino’s escape
Sequence 8
Protagonist Victorino Blasts off in a rocket
Protagonist Victorino Arrives space station in outer space
Protagonist Victorino Goes to the bridge
Protagonist Victorino Deploys solar panels
Protagonist Victorino Aligns panels to the computer
Protagonist Victorino Gives POTUS an ultimatum: install his energy system or he will take over the world
Antagonist Tells Victorino his technology doesn’t even work
Protagonist Victorino Demonstrates energy magnifier
Antagonist Sabotages demonstration
Protagonist Victorino About to tell world POTUS is responsible
Antagonist Tells Victorino he just embarrassed himself in front of the whole world
Antagonist Victorino is a failure, a fraud, a loser
Antagonist Offers same deal as 10 years ago, to buy technology, but without his services
Protagonist Victorino Apoplectically rejects offer
Antagonist Fires nuclear missiles at him in space
Protagonist Victorino Neutralizes missiles with wide beam
Antagonist One missile explodes, damages space station, injures Victorino
Protagonist Victorino Turns magnifier into a weapon of mass destruction
Antagonist relents and gives up
Protagonist Victorino Ignore POTUS and annihilates earth
Protagonist Victorino Blasts the man on the moon to smithereens
-
Subject: Kate’s Pass #5: Action / Reaction
What I’ve learned doing this assignment is that there is a definite parallel between the big conflicts and big emotional moments and together they force a change. However not every emotional moment leads to an action – there are many more of those than actions – in that sense they are cumulative. The fear is now clearer and better articulated. I am not discovering much new in terms of actions etc but deepening it and have a feeling that when the dialogue starts those details will emerge.
1. Concept:
A young actress finds that her recently found long absent father wants to destroy a small town that represents her values – now she must choose between the community and her longing for a loving father, ultimately joining them in a ‘sting’ operation and putting on a live ‘tell all’ public theatre performance.
– Protagonist Goal:
Nia wants to have a relationship with her father and that will prove she is loved and belongs
– Protagonist Character Arc:
Nia moves from passively longing for an imaginary ‘good’ Father to facing the real ‘bad’ one and making choices based on knowing the whole story of her family and ultimately her needs and rights.
Part to be changed: The naive passive idealist
Biggest fear: Not being loved by her father and being alone
Completion of arc: Calls out the ‘real’ Dad, and through action finds strength and self-respect
– Main Conflict:
Nia has to come to terms with the truth about her father, both to save the land and free herself of the childhood dream.
Sequence the events — from least conflict to most conflict.
Act 1
– Nia says goodbye to the troupe- to stay with her father
– Nia rejects an offer to stay at Luciana’s place
– Nia she will try and help, sure her father loves her enough to listen
Act 2
– Nia suggests that some of her theatre friends pose as ‘the businessmen’(but still at Ds house hoping he’ll change)
– Nia proposes the project to troupe – who agree
– Nia goes back to the troupe in the field. (after being kicked out but stays for the sting)
– Nia has it out with Luciana demanding the whole truth about her Mother’s death
– Nia says no to lunch with her father even after he says he’ll do the right thing
– Nia chooses the community.
– comes up with the idea a play specially written to expose the whole story.
Act 3
– play is performed, with Nia as Cordelia from ‘King Lear’.
– Nia performs the scene from ‘Othello’ when he kills Desdemona – ends calling him out for his failures as a father and sharing her grief as someone who now sees the truth is not like she had
– Nia says goodbye to the local community
– says goodbye to her father
– refuses the car he offers
– leaves with the troupe on the bus
Sequence the emotional moments — from least challenging to most challenging.
Act 1
– Nia and tells her friends she can imagine living there.
– Nia and Luciana bond.
– Darrogh intro’s self as her Dad
– Nia says goodbye to the troupe- to stay with her father
– Nia uncomfortable with Luciana even as she is drawn to her
– Nia rejects an offer to stay at Luciana’s place
– Nia appalled by her father’s behav to the town
– she will try and help, sure her father loves her enough to listen
Act 2
– Father belittles her as being a child and the people of the town
– flashback to memory of scene of parents arguing violently
– gets more info from Luciana on her parents and Ds treatment of her Mother
– Nia suggests that some of her theatre friends pose as ‘the businessmen’(but still at Ds house hoping he’ll change)
– Nia proposes the project to troupe – who agree
– Terrible fight with Father re Luciana etc and is thrown out of his house
– another memory flashback to her Mother being thrown out
– Nia goes back to the troupe in the field.
– bulldozers arrive
– Nia has it out with Luciana demanding the whole truth about her Mother’s death -sees real love for the first time
-finds out her Mother died of suicide – due do cancer and broken heart
– Nia says no to lunch with her father even after he says he’ll do the right thing
– Nia chooses the community.
– comes up with the idea a play specially written to expose the whole story.
Act 3
– play is performed, with Nia as Cordelia from ‘King Lear’.
– Nia performs the scene from ‘Othello’ when he kills Desdemona
– calls him out for his failures as a father and sharing her grief as someone who now sees the truth is not like she had
– Nia says goodbye to the local community
– D pleads with her to stay
– Nia says goodbye to her father
– refuses the car he offers
– letter from Luciana saying will take care of D and Nia always has a home here with her.
– leaves with the troupe on the bus with a light heart
Sequence the requirement for change — from comfort to total demand for change.
Act 1
– Nia says goodbye to the troupe- to stay with her father
– Nia uncomfortable with Luciana even as she is drawn to her says No to staying there
– Nia appalled by her father’s behav to the town, she will try and help, sure her father loves her enough to listen
Act 2
– flashback to memory of scene of parents arguing violently
– gets more info from Luciana on her parents and Ds treatment of her Mother
– Nia proposes the project to troupe – who agree
– Terrible fight with Father re Luciana etc and is thrown out of his house
– another memory flashback to her Mother being thrown out
– Nia goes back to the troupe in the field. – doesnt know who to trust – runs to the tribe
– Nia has it out with Luciana demanding the whole truth about her Mother’s death -sees real love for the first time
– Nia says no to lunch with her father even after he says he’ll do the right thing
– Nia chooses the community.
Act 3
– Nia performs the scene from ‘Othello’ when he kills Desdemona
– calls him out for his failures as a father and sharing her grief as someone who now sees the truth is not like she had
– Nia says goodbye to the local community
– D pleads with her to stay – Nia says goodbye to her father
– refuses the car he offers
– leaves with the troupe on the bus with a light heart
-
Alice’s Pass #5 Action/Reaction
What I learned doing this assignment is
I had second breakthrough, which is I am afraid to make changes. That is possibly not new.
Listing Actions/Reaction helped me to straighten storyline for Protagonist at Part 1 and Ward / Lena escape story.
My aim is now to work on Judge’s speech at process. I will post it later.
Part 1
Underdog Plot is underlining all screenplay, and Protagonists actions are directed to unknown enemy, as he keeps being under pressure, he all the time thinks, maybe those are secret police deeds. If he would recognize that is just some one’s actions, he would maybe overcome it.
1. Tell us the following:
– Concept:
In time of Separation, an artificial death protecting Advanced West society of Planet MIROPOLIS, workers of Research Institute get massacred, to create “new weapon”, interests clash, judge sentences wrongdoer at scandalous process, Separates, his subtle image reflected on video, his advice to filter people and expel outcastes is taken into practice…
– Protagonist Goal: To bring things to Justice
– Protagonist Character Arc:
– Main Conflict: To do anything about it, or do nothing!
2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story.
and list it.
Protagonist:
Makes phone calls
Visits those who disappear
Contacts Police
Contacts Secret Service
Talks to Director
Talks to his Journalist Brother
Speaks at meetings
Searches labs
Transgresses corridors
& tries to reassure people
& Antagonist
Calls Kiat. / Murders Night Guard & Kiat
Sequentially:
Visits Kiat’s apartment
Twice visits
Brings Police
Talks of issue in a meeting (1)
Visits one of those who took leave
Warns disappeared woman’s husband
Endeavors turn to Secret Service, but drops out of it
Calls his ropes, but drops the phone
Speaks to Director.
Speaks at the meeting (2)
Calls Director /Murders Director
Goes to Police (1)
Speaks on meeting (3) / Murders Alarm Guy
Goes to Police (2) / Murders his friend
Calls his ropes
Talks with his brother
Searches labs
——————-
Transgresses corridors
3. Make a list of the emotional moments the Protagonist will go
through that will cause him or her to face the change they need
to make.
He gets emotional when:
At the meetings
He recognizes night guard is gone
His friend is gone
With police
At the end, checking on Anaupsh
When he waits for Anaupsh, he expects they been kidnapping people to work for them, and he will join this company, and see Kiat finally. This is the only case, when he believes she is alive.
4. Place the actions you like from #2 and emotional moments
from #3 in your current outline — and list the outline.
OPENING SCENE:
Representation (Visuals) of how SEPARATION (an artificial nano death, insinuated by signal from human brain of the bearer, whereas face and chest are separated symmetrically by vertical line), works. Inside perspective. Life stream as if moves on another rails. “What new qualities did you acquire?” “I can move walls apart!”
EXT. TOP OF RESIDENTIAL – DAY
There is a basin on the roof, and man is fishing.
EXT. ON A PLANE
On a flight back home from resort area. At the North of Planet MIROPOLIS. Plane is to cross a length of seawater from resort area on another Archipelago back to the West Shore.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Phone rings, as he returns. That is Director of Research institute with assignment for him to be prepared by Monday.
INCITING INCIDENT:
One of the files appears to be dark, he cannot open it.
EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT
He picks taxi up.
EXT. BEFOR GATES OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – NIGHT
He jumps out of taxi, running inside.
INT. LOBBY OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – NIGHT
He quickly exchanges with night guard about reasons him coming at night.
INT. OFFICE – NIGHT
He opens file on computer. Printer doesn’t work, lacking paper.
INT. CORRIDOR – NIGHT
As he rummages at closet, he is encountered by security guard. They exchange, guard continues along the corridor.
INT. OFFICE – NIGHT
As he keeps working, radiophone beeps. “I love you” This is Kiat.
INT. SOMEONE’S BEDROOM – MORNING
Alarm works. Man jumps from bed.
INT. OFFICE – MORNING
As Protagonist looks into window, he can see this man, one of lab workers, coming. Kiat is still not there.
INT. CORRIDOR OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – MORNING
Amid couple of others, Hero walks now noisy corridor of Research Institute, holding his documents. Woman of rather small height passes him, walking at another direction. He turns after her, looking at her back. “Is it Anaupsh?”
FIRST TURNING POINT:
His girlfriend is missing amid personnel “Where is Kiat?” Other lab workers shed look on him, as if he’s been cheated, or dropped by
INT. BACK ROOM – MORNING
Kiat is murdered by someone looking like Anaupsh and one or two more people.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Hero calls Kiat. She doesn’t pick it up, and he leaves a message.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S APPARTMENT – NIGHT
He looks at the watch, – she didn’t call back.
INT. LANDING BEFORE KIAT’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Kiat’s neighbor says, Kiat doesn’t live here anymore, was absent for two days (as they been on weekend)
INT. LANDING BEFORE KIAT’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Kiat’s neighbor confirms, Kiat moved away. He doesn’t believe her.
INT. KIAT’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Police helps with the door. Money, clothes, and documents appear intact. Police officer implies, maybe she flied across the boundary.
INT. AUDITORY – DAY
Protagonist before the crowd of workers of Research Institute. As he talks of Kiat went missing without anyone giving much attention, he is considered by crowd, as unsuccessful lover. One man says, he had seen Kiat that day. And that couple of people took a leave.
INT. RESIDENTIAL – DAY
Protagonist comes by the address of one of those who took leave. His neighbors says, he left not saying goodbye.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Disturbed man comes, searching for his missing wife, who worked at RI. Protagonist warns him not to come back in here, as his wife is possibly killed.
INT. SOCIAL SERVICES – EVENING
Protagonist is waiting to see an officer, but changes his mind, and walks away.
EXT. STREET PHONE BOOTH – DAY
Hero calls to secret police man of his acquaintance, but drops the phone.
INT. DIRECTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Director is some kind of a friend to Protagonist, and tries to give him sick leave when he says, one of the missing was his girlfriend. As protagonist tries to prove it is necessary to search the labs, Anaupsh enters. She is the head of development lab of DNA research. After her comes her assistant, tall freak, not young anymore. Hero remarks on strong body of Anaupsh and metallic plate, stuck at her sandal. Director lets him go. As he leaves, he observes them for a while, talking at the office.
EXT. BEFORE DIRECTOR’S – DAY
He walks out of the building, and strolls away.
INT. DIRECTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Director is murdered. Blood on the table. Anaupsh opens his cabinet with electronic key. Unlocks computer and washes out files from the list with info on exp from her lab. Her assistant rolls Director’s body in blue plastic.
INT. AUDITORY – DAY
Protagonist before crowd of RI’s workers. A couple more of people left, Head of one lab, and also Director is on leave.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Hero calls at Director’s. His wife says, he called her to say he drops on her, and asks for his stuff to be sent over the ocean.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – DAY
His son wants to go fishing on the roof. But glances at the face of his old father and small daughter, and remains.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – EVENING
They peacefully making a tea.
INT. LOBBY – EVENING
Hero notices night guard disappearance.
INT. POLICE OFFICE – DAY
Protagonist gets refused by policeman about these missing cases.
INT. AUDITORY – DAY
Speaks for a third time at the meeting, with maps, representing, how people mostly get disappearing at certain area of Research Institute.
INT. LIBRARY OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – DAY
Protagonist accidentally runs on Anaupsh. He notices there is nor metallic plate stuck in her sandal any longer.
INT. RI’S CORRIDOR OF HERO’S DREAM – NIGHT
He’s having nightmare. Woman screams “He died from horror!”
INT. HERO’S BEDROOM – MORNING
He awakes from his nightmare.
INT. SOMEONE’S BEDROOM – MORNING
Alarm didn’t work. Man jumps from bed on his own, when it is too late.
EXT. BEFORE THE GATES OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – MORNING
Protagonist meets with that man before gates. They exchange. Man works in the lab at the same area, where people get disappearing.
INT. BACK ROOM – DAY
This man is tied up, his moth stuck. One scientist enters, and sees the picture. Assistant shoots him from the back, but he already separated. Now they cannot use his body.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Protagonist is having conversation with his friend, head of another lab, who complains, he has no one to report.
EXT. TRAIN STATION – EVENING
His friend is waiting for the train. Some figure is as if in the mist, over the distance.
INT. TRAIN – EVENING
Relieved, he boards the train, and takes his seat on the bench.
INT. POLICE OFFICE – EVENING
Protagonist persuades police officer about missing cases. Officer manifests with negativity, as Hero is clearly a developed caste, and sends him packing.
INT. CORRIDOR OF RI – EVENING
Protagonist picks up at the note, dropped on the floor. It is left by his friend about report. He jams paper in his fist, seeing his friend is gone!
INT. HERO’S APPARTMENT – NIGHT
He awakes because someone is behind the door to his room.
MIDPOINT
EXT. STREET PHONE BOOTH – DAY
Hero calls his acquaintance at secret service, demanding they would say if missing cases were their job.
INT. HERO’S JOURNALIST BROTHER APPARTMENT – NIGHT
Protagonist visits his brother. He’s journalist, and keeps writing, even as they speak.
EXT. POLICE CAR – NIGHT
Police watches him over distance, listening to conversation with antenna.
INT. HERO’S JOURNALIST BROTHER APPARTMENT
Protagonist relates to his brother about missing cases.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – DAY
TV news. “In one of huge institutions people get disappear in one of the area of the lab works” Judge remarks that’s where his sister works.
INT. PROTAGONIST’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Hero watches the news.
EXT. STREET PHONE BOOTH – DAY
Journalist calls his brother to learn of impression. Hero is dissatisfied, saying, his report was misleading at broadcast.
INT. ANAUPSH’S LAB – DAY
Anaupsh answers the phone.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – DAY
Judge drops it down, hearing her voice.
INT. ANAUPSH’S LAB – DAY
Anaupsh remarks that been her brother checking on her after watching the news, and she is OK. Sexy girl an assistant persuades how some people really disappeared. Anaupsh observes this girl’s sexy body.
INT. VIEW OF CLOSET FROM INSIDE – DAY
This sexy girl is rummaging at the closet, as someone closes her mouth, and picks her up from behind. That is her boyfriend who places a date with her.
INT. CAFE – NIGHT
Girl is waiting for him, but he doesn’t turn out.
EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT
She leaves cafe and starts strolling along the street. Car stops, Anaupsh opens the door. Girl looks inside and sees her boyfriend, dead. She starts losing herself. Gets inside, and strokes his hair, then vomits.
INT. LOBBY OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – NIGHT
They pass by night guard, posing her boyfriend as drunk.
INT. ANAUPSH’S LAB – NIGHT
Anaupsh proposes to restore him by the help of her work she conducted experiment for. She opens door to back room for her. Girl sees there construction from parts of human bodies and drops on the floor.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Control group, in amount of one aged man and young lady sent by organization comes to check at what is happening at Research Institute.
INT. ANAUPSH’S LAB – DAY
As Anaupsh tries to make her way through the talk, they ask her of the area, as they can see on a map. Then assistant hits man from behind unconscious. But girl puts a gun on them. At this moment secret door opens from inside, by Anaupsh’ another girl assistant. Girl turns away at its direction, and male assistant blows her gun away.
INT. BACK ROOM – DAY
They both are beaten up, unconscious.
INT. SOME LAB – DAY
Protagonist on his way around to check labs meets opposition from aged scientist.
INT. DYNAMICS LAB – EVENING
Two guys in this lab tell Hero, how they protect with guns. They assured him they are waiting for those who do this to come, and don’t lock the doors.
INT. CORRIDOR OF RI – MORNING
Protagonist passes by Dynamics Lab, its door seems closed. He tries it, and it opens, room same as it was, no men.
SECOND TURNING POINT:
Protagonist gets contacted by secret service officer. He affirms they also lost a number of people on Institute’s ground, and that he was afraid to pass inside.
INT. SECRET SERVICE OFFICE – EVENING
That officer who spoke with scientist reports to top officer, as that one receives a call with indications from above. Not to do much. Top officer remarks that might be correct approach. Let everyone be gone, apart from one left, who’ve done it.
INT. CORRIDOR OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – EVENING
Strolling along, Protagonist looks into open lab and sees there girl assistant of Anaupsh rummaging through documents. She says she had to sort that out.
INT. CORRIDOR OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – NIGHT
Walking past Anaupsh’s lab, Protagonist can hear noise behind the wall, something knocks. He is surprised.
INT. LOBBY OF RESEARCH INSTITUTE – NIGHT
Night guard confirms everyone from that lab are gone for the night.
INT. ANAUPSH’S LAB – MORNING
Hero waits for Anaupsh to come, to check her lab. She lets him in, saying it’s development nocking.
CRISIS:
She opens back room for him, and he can see huge animated construction, composed from human bodies, managed by DNA exchange. He recognizes it here and there. Passes out.
EXT. BACK STREET – EVENING
Officer who came to RI calls his top officer, saying, scientist does not answer his calls. He drops the phone and turns to go away, but is shot from behind a corner out of vehicle.
INT. SECRET SERVICE OFFICE – EVENING
Top officer gets notified, his employee went arrested for interest in this case. He is stunned. Upon consideration, exits office via back door.
EXT. OUTSIDE OF SECRET SERVICE OFFICE – EVENING
Top officer gets out, considers cars nearby, walks down, and is shot from behind.
CLIMAX:
Anaupsh presents her work at symposium. Two scientists at presidium get alarmed, but Anaupsh smartly lets her creation into outside world, to float at the sky. They sound alarm then.
EXT. CITY SCAPE – EVENING
Judge’s son again strolls along the roof with fishing line and barrel. View of monsters in the sky makes him lose his step and he falls from the edge of the roof. He succeeds at holding at some architectural pieces down there, as monster comes rather closer to his view. Aircraft dispatch comes on helicopters, and spreads point-direct atomic weapon at the creature. Keeping his hold, he starts sneezing, and endeavors turn away or shield somehow.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – DAY
His son supports him, says to hold on.
INT. COURT – DAY
As Judge heads ahead to preside, he is blamed into back. Everyone knows that is his sister in the process, who he is going now justify.
RESOLUTION:
Anaupsh and her assistants are facing the court. Judge keeps asking questions in such a way that he uncovers her rotten nature. He then says, he’s unsure of what punishment, and that how, maybe, even if his kids, but separate somehow away into zones people of such kind so that they won’t be able to do crimes of such scape. Anaupsh observes him, and suddenly says “Don’t Separate!” He looks back at her, and as if from opposition, separates. His face moves apart, leaving narrow space, vertical, and smooth, leading into depth of the head, as other parts also have moved. As he continues to sit at same pose, common with Separation, across the room passes gush of astonishment. His subtle body, recognizable, consciously moves along the middle, to exit the court.
EXT. SITY STREET – DAY
Journalist brother of late scientist watches street screens, streaming the process. He immediately recognizes, what it is going to be.
INT. JUDGE’S APPARTMENT – EVENING
His son gets interviewed.
INT. EDITORIAL OFFICE – NIGHT
Late Protagonist’s journalist brother gets criticized by his editor. What would people think of Separation after reading “Man after Separating, walked along the ail?”
RESOLUTION:
People with strict faces are at building construction, meant for outcastes.
“First Social Services were doing it, then when jails went full, they got that wasn’t enough, and called in military…”
Part 2
Runaway
In a way, Lena is adversary of a Ward, and Son of Main Commander, as they both get under fire because of her. This manifests when they interact and speak.
– Concept:
…after reservations for outcastes are created, trained WARDS are to bring qualified back to society,
Born in reservation, LENA witnesses her Ward’s death, runaways, gets escorted by high rang military, becomes his lover, as anyone around undergo danger of being marked as “outcastes”.
– Protagonist Goal: Save qualified inside of reservation
– Protagonist Character Arc:
Ward’s Character Arc:
What he wants: To love Lena
What he needs: To send her safely outside
Old trait: He used to murder inside of reservation, and didn’t turn himself up to save some more people
Changed to: He would give his life away, as he is guilty in his assistant being shot at zone
– Main Conflict: Either he makes her a lover, or he saves her as a ward
2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story.
WARD if he Reacts on Lena, he Acts to outside, if he Reacts on outside, he Acts on Lena
Son of Main Commander Reacts on LENA, and Acts on outside
LENA Reacts, pauses, then Acts, in cold blood
WARD educates LENA as she answers his questions
Locks her in his apartment as she tries to learn
Streams water outside as she arguments
She notices his birthmark as they take a shower
Leaves her virginal after sex, so she understands it only after her mother hurts her, so she burns her with acid
Leaves Report on her, which she deposits, and fights her way upstairs, and deceives pilot
3. Make a list of the emotional moments the Protagonist will go
through that will cause him or her to face the change they need
to make.
For SON OF MAIN COMMANDER
Interested, hooked as they meet with LENA
With LENA at a Hotel #1, as they get intimate
As they exchange names
Anxious as He tries to place a phone call in the lobby
Suspicious at a Hospital
Depressed at the Hotel #2, when there is a dead kid’s body concealed behind the wall
Ironical as he discusses his actions with officers
Self-conscious, as he directs LENA look into window to see residents across the street
Up-high as they preside sentencing their younger friend the military as ward
In decision as he holds LENA’s hands as she tries to save him from himself
Sentimental/sublime as he separates
4. Place the actions you like from #2 and emotional moments
from #3 in your current outline — and list the outline.
OPENING SCENE: Destruction of Black Archipelago by atomic weapon.
INCITING INCIDENT: Ward choses residence to be dispatched to.
INT. RESIDENTIAL ZONE – DAY
Ward unlocks his new apartment, belonged prior to his predecessor.
INT. WARD’S APARTMENT – DAY
Le-na visits him. She never takes a bath, to repel other residents.
FIRST TURNING POINT: He hides Le-na in his apartment behind locked doors. They start to be intimate. They take shower together, but he only does superficial sex.
MIDPOINT: His window is bulletproof, but door has space underneath. After knocking at his locked door didn’t help, residents put smoke via this opening. Ward then streams water outside.
SECOND TURNING POINT: Helicopter brings boxes with goodies. Ward unlocks the door. Le-na’s bitch mother comes asking for her. Ward replies, he put a report, and Le-na is to be evacuated back to outside world. Freaking aged guy jumps inside, asking to be taken back also, offering money. Ward refuses. Freak shoots him down to death.
Le-na’s family members run in, starting robbing apartment, goodies box first. “Why did you wash yourself?” screams bitch mother. She checks her, and sees, she is still virginal. Then she rapes her, pushing small bottle inside. Le-na passes out.
CRISIS: Le-na awakes. Room is robbed of everything. She sees Ward in the spirit, as subtle image in the room. Then they communicate. He says, Le-na must prepare to kill her mother, as she comes back. She looks around, and sees nothing like a weapon. He keeps going “see this barrel? There is an acid in it, if to pour it upon a person, he would die!” Le-na picks up large barrel, right when her mother’s steps are heard. As that one enters, she splashes acid on her.
Ward directs her to pick up report and go upstairs.
INT. ATTIC – DAY
Vast room with glass ceiling along the walls has special mail boxes, one for each apartment. Le-na puts report into mail box, and pulls at lever. Via glass walls one can see how report swiftly goes upward, beyond the roof.
Girl new comer descends stairs. She demonstratively approaches Le-na. Takes gun out. They fight. Le-na uses martial skills she picked up from Ward. She blows gun away, picks it up and shoots girl down.
Ward directs her to run on the roof, where there must be a helicopter that brought new comer.
CLIMAX: Le-na runs up to the pilot and deceives him, saying she was brought down to restricted zone by mistake. She promises him her parents would pay him!
RESOLUTION: EXT. HELICOPTER CABIN – EVENING
They take into air. Pilot asks for her address. “Quiet Street, Small House!” Le-na says. Pilot gets he was deceived. “Point gun at him!” says Ward’s voice. Le-na puts gun on him. His radio works, and Le-na screams for pilot. Man on that end of the line hears female voice.
ESCAPE story (above) as OPENING SCENE for Lena Outside of Reservation
(Lena Outside of Reservation, as a RESOLUTION to Escape story)
INCITING INCIDENT: INT. TECHNO STATION – EVENING
Le-na is picked up by high rang military. She recognizes him being special, and tries to pull shirt away from his back, to see if there isn’t body mark as well.
FIRST TURNING POINT: INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
They become intimate.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Servant rolls in table with refreshment and some wine bottles, as he gets astonished, seeing Le-na standing totally naked amid the room.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Two officers come to expose her lover. They have a moment and exchange names. He says, he’s a Son of Main Commander, which is his rang.
MIDPOINT: INT. HOTEL’S LOBBY – NIGHT
Son of Main Commander descends with Le-na into lobby. He directs her to wait him at the glass doors. And tries to place a phone call, but line is dead. “You will pay me for that! “ he says to hotel’s owner. And receives a blow.
INT. HOSPITAL COMPARTMENT – NIGHT
Son of Main Commander awakes, Le-na sits near. “How did you do that?” She says she used street phone and asked for the Father the Main Commander.
Nurse enters, behaving suspiciously. Then Le-na picks up small bottle, and says “In this bottle there is an acid. I will pour it over you, and you will die!” Nurse looks at the bottle and starts laughing.
He calls for regiment, then they lock inside the room.
They hear noise outside at the corridor, that being small military dispatch. He likes the voice of some young officer, and they unlock for them. Commanding officer of dispatch freaks out and get tied up by his own soldiers. Then young officer takes on himself commandment. He reports, they are surrounded by enemies. Son of Main Commander recognizes him as careerist. Enemies being regiment he called for.
EXT. AT HELICOPTERS – MORNING
As they are on the go to helicopter, saved by regiment, he arguments with regiment commander.
SECOND TURNING POINT: INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT.
As they are staying at the hotel, now a couple, he sits on bed in clothes. Le-na reacts and after pulling his socks away, washing her hands, picks up bottle and pushes inside sex organs. He catches at her and hits. “Why have you done it?” She explains, she no longer has blood (she’ s lucking, and he is indifferent). He laughs with joy, explaining that is a pregnancy.
Their activity is overlooked by man in bright lit window across the street. He threatens them, gesturing, and dresses up to go out.
CRISIS: INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR – NIGHT
It appears, Hotel was stuffed with video cameras to observe tenants, by agreement of that man across the street and Hotel owner. Military came, and all tenants get out of their rooms. As Son of Main Commander arguments matter with Commanding Officer, that one freaks out and gets tied up by his own soldiers. Soldiers get lost, but one of them, still young, and with shrieking voice, starts giving commands.
CULMINATION:
One of cameras made video of something white in dark lobby. Hotel owner suddenly gets ill and is escorted to his room by two soldiers. Others search the rooms, and uncover body of ten years old daughter of Hotel owner. Tenant of that room dies right there, poisoning oneself till foam out of the mouth, and slides down the wall. After they turn away two technicians coming to pick up someone qualified as outcastes, real psychologist comes. He turns to be an aged man, experienced and talkative. He exchanges addresses with boy with shrieking voice, promises to distressed woman degree in psychology and new job.
RESOLUTION: INT. HOTEL ROOM – MORNING
Le-na again looks into window. There is wife of that man, now arrested, who shoots woman at hotel room near theirs.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Yet another hotel. They lie in bed as outside are sirens at the distance. He embraces her, tense. But cars run by.
RESOLUTION to PART 2, Wrapping Up: INT. FIGHTING ROOM – DAY
Boy with shrieking voice went into grown up man, taking martial arts training.
INT. RESTRICTED ZONE – DAY
He endeavors to save a couple out of zone. As woman screams, closing her ears, hold by her man, he shoots back at a couple of people, shooting at him.
INT. TRIBUNAL – DAY
He gets sentenced. He doesn’t take it for real, but as a bad joke, as he really killed people. They then consent on him returning back to zone, now forever.
EXT. ROAD AND GRASS – DAY
Bus doors gets closed, and it leaves on its way.
INT. PRIVATE RESIDENTIAL – DAY
Le-na moves around the house, bearing sight of household, having kids, here and there, where they dropped clothes or toys, running for bus.
INT. GUESTROOM – DAY
Son of Main Commander sits as if thinking something over. Phone rings, but he doesn’t pick it up. Le-na awakes him from his thoughts. No, he not at all is going to go as a ward, this means imminent death. She worries, and starts to pull chain with pendant from her neck, as if to put on him as amulet, but he stops her.
He gets up, dons his military headwear and goes out. Le-na answers the phone. No, he is gone. She says.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE HOUSE – DAY
He goes a distance away, then stops. Wind blows into his face. He Separates. Narrow opening with even edges separates front of his face in the middle. His facial expression doesn’t change. He keeps standing same pose.
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
As sentenced ward, here incognito, discusses with psychologist his couple he brought out, who are passing exam now, and Le-na, who is here, crashed and lost her sanity.
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Matthew Frendo’s Pass #5: Action / Reaction
What I learned doing this assignment was how to add in emotional beats and actions/reactions to an outline. This should make the script stronger and more linear when writing the first draft.
1. Opening Host gives intro into the event and the people who were chosen, including a hardened criminal named Alicia. In the middle of the intro, it goes blank as rebels take over the screen for a few seconds before they come back to the live show.
ALICIA’S INTRO – SEQUENCE
They describe her as a troubled girl who killed her important government figure father as a mere teen and has been locked away since.
INT. PASSAGE TO FIRST ROOM – DAY
Prisoners decide not to do it and don’t want to risk their lives. Jocelyn tries to talk them into it, with Nick reminding everyone that there can be only one winner. Alicia agrees with Nick.
2. Inciting Incident. The prisoners’ loved ones are kept in a cage with a bomb…and if they don’t go through the challenges quickly enough, the bomb goes off.INT. ROOM ONE – DAY
The group can’t work together and all get hurt a bit. Alicia saves a girl named Jocelyn at the last minute, but was annoyed by it. Nick talks about how all a person can count on are themselves. Alicia agrees.
3. By page 10, you know what the movie is about. First person dies horribly in event after losing their challenge, setting things in motion.INT. ROOM TWO – DAY
They get into second room and learn to work together to survive. Alicia decides to work with others, like Jocelyn suggests, to survive. Nick refuses to, saying there can only be one winner. After Alicia helps her, Jocelyn hits her with constant questions and talks incessantly, making Alicia annoyed.
4. First turning point at end of Act 1 Games are disrupted by explosion. They are all is pulled into fake room off camera and find out Jocelyn is there as part of a resistance. They can’t tell anyone or the authorities will kill them all, so now they almost have to help her. That’s why she’s been asking questions.Alicia starts to see her sister in Jocelyn due to her idealistic enthusiasm. Before she can get far, Nick reminds her what the rebels have done with violence.
INT. HALLWAY TO NEXT ROOM – DAY
Nick wants to tell the authorities anyway, hoping they will let them live, but is talked out of it by past actions. Still, he’s pissed.
They find out one of them is an authority spy. Nick is about to tell him everything before Alicia abruptly kills him. Nick is pissed, as they could be really screwed now.
INT. ROOM THREE – DAY
They get through the game, but Alicia almost dies. Jocelyn saves her, which angers Alicia. Jocelyn says same idealistic stuff her sister did.
Jocelyn is alone, until another criminal tries to take advantage of her. Alicia pulls her weapon on him, with even Nick backing her up on this one.
INT. ROOM FOUR – DAY
Jocelyn is injured before rebels cause disruption, Jocelyn and Alicia talk, with Jocelyn saying what they did to her family and why she is ready to sacrifice herself. Alicia realizes her father was the type to do that thing to Jocelyn’s family. We find out how hard Alicia’s life has been and what she’s had to do to survive. She doesn’t believe in anything good anymore. Jocelyn disagrees.
5. Mid-Point Young innocent Jocelyn is killed in the contest after Nick forces it to save the rest of them…and the rebel leaders makes sure the audience sees it in horrifying detail. Alicia almost dies herself trying to save her and is saved by Nick.INT. ROOM FIVE – DAY
Alicia is sad and starts siding with Nick, who just wants to win and get out of there. They make deal to survive and escape using his contacts.
Then Alicia has a chance to break transmission for the rebels, taking over Jocelyn’s place. She tries, with Nick ruining it secretly.
Alicia is in her room, but Nick won’t help her. She’s about to die, when the rebels take out electricity.
6. Second turning point at end of Act 2. Rebels take down games and transmission altogether by wiping out power in whole city. Chaos begins as the revolution is now underway.INT. BLOWN HALLWAY – NIGHT
Nick is ready to leave out the hallway with Alicia. Alicia looks and sees Jocelyn’s mother in the room to explode.
7. Crisis. Alicia has a choice: she can help the rebels (and save Jocelyn’s mother like she promised) or escape with her own life.INT. BLOWN HALLWAY – NIGHT
After finding out Nick was there to make sure the rebels win by sacrificing Jocelyn on camera, she kills hm and goes to save Jocelyn’s mother.
INT. BOMB ROOM – NIGHT
Alicia gets the hostages out just in time.
INT. SIDE ROOM – NIGHT
Jocelyn’s friends pull Alicia into side room and tell her where the rebel leaders are taking over the old authority.
INT. FIRST ROOM OF GAMES – NIGHT
The rebel leaders meet the old authority here, with the plan to put them into the games.
8. Climax Alicia finds the people who put here there. She puts them all into the challenges and releases the information she unknowingly had on them and what they are doing to the world, along with the rebel leaders who let Jocelyn die for their cause.
9. Resolution She leaves the challenges as the only survivor…and a hero to the people. -
Justina Mitchell’s Pass #5: Action/Reaction
What I learned doing this assignment is that again, asking the right questions add to the depth of the screenplay. It was hard for me to come up with reasons that the love interest was in opposition to the goal, but after thinking about it, I could see where someone who is loving and captivating could really complicate the life of someone who is not interested in building relationships and is only interested in completing their quest.
CONCEPT:
A very wealthy man who has no heirs considers leaving his money to one of three distant, unfamiliar cousins, but to find out which one would handle a massive fortune best, he decides to give each of them a small fortune while he lives among them incognito and observes their handling of it.
PROTAGONIST GOAL:
Stanley’s goal is to find out who would be the best person to leave his wealth to.
PROTAGONIST CHARACTER ARC:
Part to be changed: Stanley doesn’t have any intimately close relationships.
Biggest fear: Stanley fears his bequeathed money will ruin the people that he meant to help with it.
Completion of arc: Stanley falls in love with a generous, giving woman who will help his money help others, and gains an extended family as well.
MAIN CONFLICT:
Stanley thinks he can move in and out of his relatives’ lives without becoming attached to them emotionally.
ACTION/REACTION EVENTS CHART:
Live with the Family
Maggie has a more welcoming home than the familyAloofly Observe Family Before Fortune
He is on the front row to observe Maggie’s love & kindness toward the familyAloofly Observe Family After Fortune
Maggie charms him into helping the family with their problemsDecide Who Will be His Heir
Maggie loves him, not his money, so he no longer needs an heirPROTAGONIST’S EMOTIONAL MOMENTS:
Stanley feels slightly uncomfortable when Ned suggests his exit from his deception might not be easy.
Stanley feels slightly guilty when he starts deceiving the family about who he really is.
Stanley feels a bit frustrated when the family doesn’t react to the fortune as cleanly as he thought they would.
Stanley feels frustratedly guilty when Flora goes into mourning for him instead of enjoy her fortune.
Stanley is confused and frustrated when some members of the family are not wholly happy about the fortune.
Stanley is completely frustrated and almost angry when it seems the money has brought no one happiness.
Stanley is enlightened by Maggie’s take on the family’s response to the money.
Stanley admits to Maggie that he has been selfish and self-contained and that he needs her in his life forever.
Stanley is willing to admit to the family about his deception in order to make Maggie happy.
UPDATED OUTLINE:
1. INT – STANLEY’S NEW YORK OFFICES – NIGHT
Clean shaven Stanley Fulton is leaving his opulent office while staff members cordially tell him goodnight. There are no signs of anything other than business in Stanley’s office. As soon as he is gone the staff members look relieved.
2. EXT – CITY STREET – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Stanley comes out of the office building and a well-dressed couple who are acquaintances of his stop and chat with him for a minute. The unattractive man is a bit drunk, and the woman is insincerely devoted to him; both circumstances, Stanley picks up on disapprovingly.
3. INT – STANLEY’S MANSION – NIGHT
Stanley is cordial, but not close with his cook/housekeeper who leaves for the night. He eats his dinner by himself as he focuses on business.
Inciting Incident:
Stanley nearly dies in a funny but frightening way within the framework of his everyday life.
4. INT – STANLEY’S MANSION – NIGHT
Stanley is climbing the grand staircase when he, forgetting something, turns to descend the staircase. His feet get tangled and he has a humorously horrific tumble down the entire flight of stairs. The papers that were in his hands go flying. He lays at the bottom in a heap.
5. INT – STANLEY’S MANSION – NIGHT – LATER
Stanley awakens at the bottom of the staircase. In a daze, he starts picking up his papers. When he sees his bloodied reflection in a mirror, he is so startled he falls down the stairs again with the papers flying once again.
6. INT – STANLEY’S MANSION – DAY
A concierge doctor is attending to Stanley’s injuries; portable MRI machine and all. Stanley’s friend and lawyer, Ned, is also there. Stanley reveals to Ned that he is concerned about what to do with his money when he dies. He talks about how inherited money ruined the man he ran into the night before. He also says he isn’t the marrying kind, and doesn’t want the woman that would marry him just to marry his money. He also dismisses giving the money to colleges or charities. Ned mentions relatives, and Stanley has a brilliant idea come to him which he shares with Ned in Voice Over as implements the travel plan to Hillerton. Stanley feels slightly uncomfortable when Ned suggests his exit from his deception might not be easy.
By page 10, you know what the movie is about:
Stanley has determined that he needs an heir and has devised a plan to go live among his only known relatives in order to pick one.
6a. EXT – REMOTE EDGE OF A SOUTH AMERICAN JUNGLE – DAY
Clean shaven Stanley goes into the jungle with a small group of local guides. 2 Months later, bearded John Smith/Stanley emerges from the jungle with a different small group of local guides.
First Turning Point at the end of Act 1:
Stanley arrives in Hillerton in beard and modestly priced garb and begins boarding with one of his cousins. He becomes acquainted with his cousins and their current way of life.
7. EXT – HILLERTON TRAIN STATION – DAY
Stanley/John gets off a train wearing a trimmed beard and mustache and respectable but inexpensive clothing.
8. EXT – STREETS OF HILLERTON – DAY
John is walking down the residential streets of the small town.
9. EXT – JAMES DRISCOLL’S HOME – DAY – CONTINUOUS
At their expansive and expensive rented house, Stanley introduces himself to the Driscoll family as John Smith, a respectable, trustworthy genealogist who is researching a book on the Driscoll family. He provides a letter of introduction from a respected banker in town. He asks if they might be interested in his boarding with them. They are polite, but Mrs. James, Hattie, can’t consider taking a boarder since the wealthy never do; her husband wouldn’t have minded the income. They send John to their brother Frank’s house for boarding.
10. EXT – STREETS OF HILLERTON – DAY – CONTINUOUS
Stanley, who is now John Smith, has an informative walk with Benny, the youngest Driscoll, across town to Frank’s house. He finds out that basically Benny hates that his mother is all about appearances now that they have recently moved to the rich side of town. He also learns that Mrs. Frank, Jane, is a tight wad.
11. INT – FRANK DRISCOLL’S HOME – DAY – CONTINUOUS
John Smith arranges to stay in the modest and plastic covered apartment of his cousin’s family above their grocery store. He shows an immediate interest upon meeting Mellicent, Frank’s eighteen year-old daughter. He is also encouraged that Jane is all about giving to others if only they had enough money to give.
12. EXT – JIM DRISCOLL’S HOME – DAY
John goes to ask Hattie Driscoll, Jim’s wife, about family history. While there he meets Maggie Duff, the older step-sister of the Driscolls. She is a whirl of youthful energy, kindness, and positivity.
13. INT – FLORA DRISCOLL’S HOME – DAY
John is visiting with Flora Driscoll, his spinster cousin. She shows him a family album that contains a magazine photo of him as Stanley. She sees the resemblance, but then chalks it up to his also being a distant cousin of theirs. Stanley feels slightly guilty about deceiving her.
14. EXT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME – DAY
John goes to Maggie’s home because the family records are kept there. He meets Father Duff, and sees how deftly Maggie handles the cantankerous old man.
15. INT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME- DAY
John sits at a table and works his way through the family records. He sees many family members come and go asking for advise and taking advantage of Maggie, which she handles with love and wisdom. This kindness Maggie shows toward everyone, especially the family, is contagious and makes it hard for John to stay aloof. He also gets a good feel as to how the family members currently handle/regard money.
Mid-Point:
The small fortune that was to be given to the cousins arrives via Stanley’s lawyer, Ned.
16. INT – FRANK DRISCOLL’S HOME – DAY
John arrives home to find all the Driscolls gathered in the living room. They learn that they each have been given $2,000,000 from their famous, distant cousin, the ultra-wealthy Stanley Fulton. They are very excited. John reacts with shock that even with this most exciting news, some of the cousins find reasons to distrust it, while others have declared that their benefactor is dead. Stanley feels a bit frustrated about their initial reactions to the fortune.
17. EXT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME – DAY
John and Maggie discuss her not being in the bequeath and how the others are handling the money. Jane comes by to ask Maggie if she could now board John. John gratefully accepts the change of address as Maggie’s home is much more comfortable for him.
18. INT – JAMES DRISCOLL’S NEW HOME – NIGHT
At an elaborate party we see how the different members of the family are responding to having wealth. Hattie and Bessie are trying to keep up with Gaylords, the millionaires in town. James is just happy to have money to buy books and time to read them with his sons. Fred, is starting in with the questionable Gaylord crowd. Mellicent is flirting with everyone including Mr. Smith. Jane thinks the party and dresses are a frightful waste of money. Frank can hardly think outside of the grocery business. Flora is in mourning for their benefactor, Stanley, who they assume is probably dead. Stanley feels frustratedly guilty because Flora is in mourning for him instead of enjoying her fortune.
Second turning point at the end of Act 2:
All the happiness and joy of the cousins is dwindling as the complications of having a small fortune and what they have done with it is starting to hit home.
19. INT – TOWN JAIL – NIGHT
John goes with Maggie to bail Frank junior out of jail and gives him words of wisdom to straighten up his act. Stanley is confused and frustrated when some members of the family are not wholly happy about the fortune.
20. EXT – TOWN PARK – DAY
John finds Mellicent with a young man she loves, Douglas Gray, but who isn’t rich so her mother doesn’t approve of him. When Jane happens upon the three of them, John says he was out with Mellicent, and that Douglas is his protege. Maggie’s concern for Mellicent inspires John to intervene more in the family’s lives.
20a. INT – FRANK DRISCOLL’S NEW HOME – EVENING
John arrives with Douglas to find two questionable but rich young men there to vie for Mellicent. John finagles for Mellicent and Douglas to play piano and violin together while John distracts Jane from intervening and the two young men get annoyed.
Crisis:
As Stanley and Maggie are trying to help the cousins with their money complications, they grow closer and suddenly Stanley realizes he is in love with her.
21. INT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME – DAY
Maggie gets a letter from a law office that brings tears to her eyes, but she won’t tell John what it is about; he assumes it is telling her that she has lost most of her money. Flora comes to talk about the beggars that she has been sending money to. John takes on the role of her secretary to get her away from the scoundrels.
22. EXT – TOWN PARK – DAY
While Maggie is walking through the park she sees the young rich men playing tennis and Mellicent being monopolized by John instead of watching them play. Maggie gets jealous and disappointed in John. Someone mentions that it must almost be time for John to be moving away, and she cries.
Climax:
Stanley has to confess to Maggie that he has been lying to her this whole time about who he is, and she responds angrily and feels that she can’t trust him.
23. INT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME – NIGHT
A lawyer comes to the house, but Maggie won’t tell Stanley why. Stanley finds out that Maggie thought that he was interested in Mellicent romantically. He goes to say that is absurd because he has never seen a woman yet he would want to marry, but as he does so, he looks at Maggie and realizes she is just such a woman.
23a. INT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOUSE – DAY
Hattie comes to say how the money has made them miserable and that they are moving to a different town. She is a changed woman, no longer wanting anything to do with the Gaylords or the like. Stanley is completely frustrated and almost angry when it seems the money has brought no one happiness. After she leaves John questions whether the money did any good. They talk about the different relationships the family had with the money; it wasn’t the money’s fault. Stanley is enlightened by Maggie’s take on the family’s response to the money.
23b. EXT – CLOSED FACTORY – DAY
John and Maggie are walking past the factory. They start talking about Stanley Fulton. Maggie reveals that she has been trying to learn about the man; she gives her opinion of him to John. John/Stanley wants Maggie’s approval so much that he sort-of tells her that he is Stanley as he proposes to her. Stanley admits to Maggie that he has been selfish and self-contained and that he needs her in his life forever. She doesn’t catch that he is Stanley, but enthusiastically accepts the proposal. He then ask her if she would like him to reopen the factory – one of her civic dreams. She is confused as to how poor John could do that. He then makes it clear that he is Stanley Fulton. She is furious that he has been lying to the entire family this whole time. She kicks Stanley to the curb.
Resolution:
Maggie decides that it wasn’t such a terrible lie, and she forgives Stanley. They then devise a plan to break the news to the rest of the family.
24. EXT – MAGGIE DUFF’S HOME – DAY
Benny asks for John, and Maggie tells her that John is staying at the motel. Benny gets upset because he never saw Maggie so happy as when John was around. Maggie agrees and searches out John.
25. EXT – TOWN PARK – DAY
Maggie and John make up and get engaged again. She tells him that she inherited $1,000,000 from her father’s side of the family; that was why the lawyer had come. Maggie loves him, not his money, so he no longer needs an heir. They discuss how they will tell the rest of the family. It looks like they have said goodbye forever.
26. EXT – TRAIN STATION – DAY
John leaves town and several of the family members see him off.
27. EXT – REMOTE EDGE OF A SOUTH AMERICAN JUNGLE – DAY
John goes into the jungle with a small group. Stanley Fulton emerges from the jungle with a different small group carrying lots of crates.
28. INT – SOUTH AMERICAN HOTEL – DAY
Stanley checks into the hotel under his real name which catches the attention of the locals.
29. EXT – STEAMSHIP LEAVING SOUTH AMERICA – DAY
Stanley boards a ship with the crates.
30. EXT – STEAMSHIP ARRIVING NEW YORK CITY – DAY
Stanley disembarks into a throng of reporters, (he may well trip coming down the gangplank, a callback from falling down the stairs – or maybe this time he catches himself). He is welcomed by Ned and his family, including their house guest who Stanley is “introduced” to, Miss Maggie Duff.
31. POSTSCRIPT HEADLINES
News headlines reveal that Stanley is dating Maggie Duff and then announces their engagement. The whole family is invited to the small private wedding; this signifies that Stanley is willing to admit to the family about his deception in order to make Maggie happy.
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Nancy Kates Actions and Reactions pass
What I learned: my outline is slowly getting better, and it takes a while!
Concept: two friends, one straight, the other lesbian, switch bodies through a magical experience. Chaos ensues
Protagonist goals: to undo the switch, but to grow and overcome their flaws in order to do so
Character Arc: Zoe, who is controlling and not always empathetic, needs to let go of control, gain empathy, and become more nurturing.
Marilyn, who takes care of everyone else and puts herself last, needs to become more aware of her own wants and needs and act on them, ie stop putting herself last.
Main conflict: they are angry with each other and the situation. They have to stop arguing long enough to work together to solve their problem.
Actions and reactions
Marilyn: Takes care of everyone
Zoe: fails at taking care of kids
Marilyn Kisses Heidi
Zoe: Edges away from Doug
Marilyn: Decides she likes Zoe’s life, which is easier than her own
Zoe: angry with Marilyn, hates Marilyn’s life
Marilyn: Consults Tarot and philosophy books to solve switch
Zoe: uses rationality to try to solve problem
Marily: Seduces Heidi
Zoe: discovers Doug is cheating
Marilyn Takes mushrooms to find solution
Zoe: warms up to kids/charmed by them
Marilyn: makes couples counseling useless by taking mushrooms
Zoe: confronts Doug during couples counseling
Marilyn: Confesses to Z she slept with Heidi
Zoe: Confesses to Marilyn that Doug has been cheating, and
that she confronted him
Emotional moments for Zoe:
–feeling out of control with Marilyn’s kids
–resenting Doug’s needs and shirking from his advances
–being angry at Marilyn for not preparing her to deal with kids
–being angry at Marilyn for trying intuitive and “woo-woo” solutions to their problem, and also being angry that Marilyn likes Zoe’s life so much. Zoe hates Marilyn’s life.
–finding joy and sweetness in connections with the kids
–breaking her/Marilyn’s arm (vulnerability)
–being angry with Marilyn about the magic mushrooms
–realizing that she can’t control everything, and is actually exhausted trying to do so
Emotional moments for Marilyn:
–realizing how nice it is to escape the children and Doug
–realizing she has the hots for Heidi, and that she’s allowed to follow her heart/desires/needs
–responding to Zoe’s anger about how Marilyn loves Zoe’s life
–mushrooms as gateway to her true wants and needs
–sleeping with Heidi and experiencing true sexual bliss, possibly for the first time
–feeling deep regret and shame over betraying Zoe
–sobbing during their reconciliation
Day 11 outline
INT ZOE APT – DAY: everything has to be absolutely perfect before the inciting incident. Reality is more complicated: Heidi wants to have an open relationship, since they’re not really having an active sex life. Zoe is angry about this, wants to control things. She’s also tired of teaching—see her having annoying phone call with an overprivileged student. She fantasizes about another life, maybe as a restaurenteur.
INT. MARILYN OFFICE and HOUSE – DAY: Marilyn gets a call from her daughter while at work. Flash to house: things are fairly chaotic. Marilyn is exhausted from helping everyone around her, including her work colleagues. She invites Zoe to a Wiccan ritual for Litha (summer solstice ritual); Zoe rolls her eyes at first, but reluctantly agrees to go with her. Zoe jokes that maybe a little Wiccan energy could reignite her sex life with Heidi.
EXT. BEACH – NIGHT: Women gather for ritual around bonfire. There is a HEAD PRIESTESS dressed in wild outfit. As the ritual goes along, she instructs them to find a stone, make a wish, and cast it into the fire, warning them that the fae folk (faeries) sometimes make mischief with these things. They all drink a potion, singing and dancing late into the night. They cast their stones and make wishes.
EXT.. BEACH – MORNING They wake up on the beach, alone. Everyone else from the ritual has gone home, and the fire is out. They are in each other’s bodies. They find a note from the Head Priestess: don’t tell anyone, and figure it out within 72 hours. Zoe asked what Marilyn wished for. The answer: to be someone else. They totally freak out.
EXT BEACH – MORNING After a lot of discussion, they exchange keys, phones, information. Zoe tries to solve the problem with logic, decides they need to consult someone else.
INT SANTERIA SHOP MISSION DISTRICT – DAY: Before going home, they visit a Santeria practioner, hoping to undo what has happened. She asks them a lot of questions (past lives, tofu consumption), burns a few candles, and then gives up. She can’t help them.
INT MARILYN’S HOME – EVENING: Zoe (in Marilyn’s body) is completely out of her element, doesn’t know how to take care of the kids, feeds wheat to the gluten-free kid, contends with the youngest, who senses that this person is not really her mother, let’s the tween watch Stranger Things, but then Doug objects. Zoe calls Marilyn, in a massive panic.
INT ZOE’S APT. – DAY TO EVE: Marilyn (in Zoe’s body) is able to relax for the first time in ages. She takes a bubble bath in the spa tub, and leisurely makes dinner for herself and Heidi, which surprises Heidi when she returns home, since Zoe doesn’t really cook. Marilyn kisses Heidi hello, per Zoe’s instructions, and is surprised by how erotic she finds the kiss, which is actually quite chaste.
INT MARILYN’S BEDROOM – NIGHT: Zoe (in Marilyn’s body) sleeps as far away from Doug as is humanly possible, which is sort of easy because they have a king-sized bed. His snoring keeps her awake, and at least one child knocks every three hours. It’s a nightmare.
INT MARILYN’S HOUSE – MORNING: Zoe (in Marilyn’s body) tries to serve breakfast and get the kids ready for school, but is totally clueless about their routine. Doug brings up various issues and complaints from couples counseling. Zoe dresses as Marilyn and gets in her car to go to work, but secretly heads off to meet Marilyn, leaving Doug with the task of getting the kids to school. He is annoyed.
INT ZOE’S APT. – MORNING: Marilyn (in Zoe’s body) noses around Zoe’s apartment, looking for anything that could help them. She pulls a bunch of philosophy books off the shelves, and starts going through them. Then she finds Heidi’s Tarot deck and tries to use it, though she has no idea how to read the cards. She’s enjoying this break from her regular life.
EXT PARKING LOT – DAY They meet up to talk about what to do, which quickly becomes a huge argument. Zoe dismisses Marilyn’s approach, which is to find a spiritual solution, clinging to her own sense of logic and order; Marilyn is not really on board with Zoe’s approach, either.
INT ZOE’S APT – DAY: They decide to work from Zoe’s apartment—Heidi will be out all day. Marilyn coaches Zoe through a work call that she totally flubs. Marilyn admits she loves Zoe’s carefree life: Zoe gets angry and leaves. Exhausted, Marilyn orders a fancy dinner in for herself and Heidi.
INT. ZOE’S APT – NIGHT: Heidi is enthralled by the dinner and unexpected sparks from Marilyn (in Zoe’s body). After dinner, Marilyn rests her head on Heidi’s lap, on the couch. They start making out, and this leads them to the bedroom, where they have wild, passionate sex. Marilyn tries to tell Heidi she is not who she thinks she is; Heidi senses something is really strange, but doesn’t listen. Marilyn acts out various fantasies that Zoe would not have thought of…Heidi finds this very compelling. [midpoint for Marilyn]
INT MARILYN’S HOUSE – NIGHT: Zoe (in Marilyn’s body) is a lot calmer about the evening routine. She reads to Willow after dinner, who goes along with it, even though she still doesn’t trust Zoe. She has a sweet moment tucking Peter into bed. Doug gives her a fantastic foot massage, and reminds her about their upcoming couples’ counseling appointment.
INT MARILYN’S HOUSE – THE NEXT DAY: Zoe (in Marilyn’s body) rifles through Doug’s shoulder bag while he’s in the shower, trying to find out more about him. She discovers some condoms, which seem to be clear indications that he is cheating on Marilyn. This is an “oh, fuck” moment for Zoe. What should she do? Confront him, since he thinks she is Marilyn? Tell Marilyn?
INT/EXT MARILYN’S HOUSE – AFTERNOON: After school, Gwen, the eldest, announces she’s going roller blading. Zoe (in Marilyn’s body) decides to join her. Gwen is very confused: Marilyn has no idea how to skate, and tries to dissuade Zoe, who is much more athletic than Marilyn. Doug is out of the house, playing tennis with a friend. After rolling down the sidewalk for a while, a child in a nearby house loses control of a ball that rolls directly into Zoe’s path, causing her to crash. Her arm is broken. Gwen starts to run back to the house to call Doug, but Zoe stops her: only Marilyn can take her to the hospital. She frantically calls Marilyn, who gets in the car to bring her to the ER. [this is the midpoint for Zoe]
INT. ER – EARLY EVENING: The two women flub their way through the intake process, with Marilyn giving Zoe pertinent details of her medical history. The intake nurse is pretty confused by this performance, which is a bit like Abbott and Costello go to the hospital.
INT. ZOE’S CAR – NIGHT: Marilyn (in Zoe’s body) drives Zoe back to her house. Both of them are angry with each other—Marilyn accuses Zoe of being lax, and breaking her arm…in pain, Zoe feels vulnerable, and starts to realize how little control she actually has. Subtext: Marilyn feels mighty guilty that she slept with Heidi, though tries to deflect about how things are going for her.
INT. ZOE’S APT. – NIGHT: Heidi asks Marilyn (in Zoe’s body) about something they discussed in couple’s counseling. Marilyn pretends to have forgotten, which really puzzles Heidi. She frantically texts Zoe, who is too busy with the kids to respond. Gwen makes fun of Zoe for her terrible roller blading, but the other kids and Doug are actually really sweet about it. Doug makes dinner.
INT ZOE’S HOUSE – DAY: Marilyn works remotely. She starts to take care of something that is the responsibility of one of her coworkers, then realizes she really doesn’t have to, and tell shim off. She shocks herself.
INT: ZOE’S APT. – DAY: Marilyn holds up a bag of psychedelic mushrooms, hoping that taking them would somehow reverse the spell. Zoe refuses to ingest any, but only after Marilyn swallows her share. Zoe is incredibly angry: Marilyn is now out of commission for the rest of the day. They talk about how to find the High Priestess, before Marilyn gets too weird. They don’t even know her name. Zoe gets on social media and finds a photo, then uses it to search. The woman’s name is Josephine D’Angelo. She’s a realtor in South San Francisco, when she’s not doing Wiccan stuff. Marilyn coaches Zoe about couples counseling with Doug, and admits they haven’t been intimate in a year. Zoe asks her why she stays. Marilyn talks about the kids, then asks why Zoe never had any, which is vulnerable for Zoe.
INT.DR. SCHWART’S OFFICE – DAY: Doug and Zoe (in Marilyn’s body) go to couples counseling. He starts complaining about her disorganization with dinner and the kids. Zoe has had enough, ie Doug has essentially been lying during their whole couples counseling process, and confronts Doug about the condoms. They have a huge fight. He admits he is seeing someone on the side. Dr. Schwartz is shocked: she hadn’t seen this coming. Doug expresses remorse. Zoe is supposed to be angry on Marilyn’s behalf, and is to some degree, and yet also has compassion for Doug.
INT. RUTH’S OFFICE -DAY: Heidi and Marilyn (in Zoe’s body) go see Ruth, their hippie Mamma lesbian lesbian couples therapist. Her office is full of books about Tantric sex and psychology. Marilyn is still tripping a little bit. Heidi happily recounts their sexual breakthrough, which causes Marilyn to giggle uncontrollably, until she admits taking mushrooms. Heidi and Ruth are shocked: buttoned-up Zoe would never take mushrooms. Heidi wonders: does she know Zoe at all? Marilyn pleads for patience.
INT. ZOE’S APT – NEXT MORNING: Marilyn (in Zoe’s body) wakes up in Heidi’s arms, overwhelmed with desire again. They make love passionately, then, guilt-stricken, Marilyn texts Zoe.
INT. MARILYN’S HOUSE – DAY. Things are really weird—Doug is furious with Zoe (in Marilyn’s body), even though he’s the one who cheated, and has been lying about everything. Zoe is beside herself, having to deal with all of this, plus her broken arm. The kids realize that the parents are not speaking to each other, but don’t know why. Zoe is angry at Marilyn, again, for being clueless, and also feels guilty about discovering something that Marilyn didn’t know.
INT. CAR – DAY: They drive to South San Francisco to find the High Priestess.
EXT JOSEPHINE’S OFFICE: They ring the doorbell, but Josephine is not around. They leave her a note, urgently requesting a ritual session with her. Overcome with guilt, Marilyn (in Zoe’s body) confesses to sleeping with Heidi, and they have another massive fight. Marilyn points out that Zoe and Heidi had been experiencing lesbian bed death, ie maybe this is actually going to help Zoe, if they ever undo the magic. In the heat of the moment, Zoe decides to tell Marilyn that Doug is having an affair, and that she confronted him at Dr. Schwartz’s. Marilyn is angry at Zoe for telling her, and for doing the confrontation for her. They brainstorm some other ideas for undoing the switch, but realize they need Josephine, the high priestess. Zoe accuses Marilyn of being a doormat with Doug: Marilyn accuses Zoe of being a control freak, and lacking empathy.
INT. CAR – DAY (CONTINUOUS): Marilyn profusely apologies for sleeping with Heidi, and admits she had no idea that lesbian sex would be so hot. This makes Zoe angry all over again. Marilyn points out that even Doug would not expect sex from Zoe (in Marilyn’s body), ie she’s off the hook for that. Zoe gets a frantic call from Peter’s school: he has chicken pox. She drops off Marilyn and rushes back to Alameda to fetch him. After tucking Peter into bed, she ignores Doug, and tries to make sense of the texts, emails and phone calls from Marilyn’s office that have been blown off. She texts back, claiming a family emergency (which is kind of true, actually).
INT. MARILYN’S HOUSE – NIGHT: Josephine calls Zoe back, and agrees to meet with them the next day. Zoe texts Marilyn, relieved.
INT. JOSEPHINE’S APT. – DAY: The place is like an altar on steroids. Josephine ushers them in, introduces herself, and asks them how she can help. Both Marilyn and Zoe are sputtering, then Marilyn somewhat angrily accuses Josephine of causing the body switch. Josephine smiles gently, and says it wasn’t her, but it could have been the fairies. She asks if one of them made a wish that could have contributed to the situation…and Marilyn confesses that she did. Josephine acts like a therapist, asking each of them, in turn, what she has learned from living in each other’s body. Zoe talks about finding her inner nurturer and letting go of some of her control freak tendencies, though she’s still angry at Marilyn’s betrayal. She also admits that it was wonderful to connect with the children, and nurture them a bit. Marilyn speaks about becoming more empowered to follow her desires, and to take care of herself, instead of everyone else. She apologizes, again, for hurting Zoe: it wasn’t about Heidi, it was about desire. Josephine nods. The two women suddenly feel quite ill, and rush to the bathroom. After each of them throws up, they look at each other and realize they’ve undone the magic, and are back in their own bodies. They rejoice. Rejoining Josephine, she talks about the profound gifts of this learning experience. They roll their eyes at her.
INT. MARILYN’S HOUSE – NIGHT: Marilyn and Doug have a very tentative conversation about their marriage. Doug shows deep regret. Marilyn admits that she also cheated, but makes it sound like that only happened because she found out about his infidelities. She asks for an open marriage, and hints that she might be bisexual.
INT. ZOE’S APT. – NIGHT: Zoe has a deep talk with Heidi, telling her she still believes in their partnership, and talking about all of Heidi’s great qualities. She admits that she’s been too controlling, and also that she fantasizes about chucking her teaching career for something more fun, which surprises Heidi. Zoe seems much more relaxed, and eager to reconnect physically with Heidi. She broaches the subject of possibly adopting a child, which they haven’t talked about in ages.
Zoe and Marilyn text each other to set up their own counseling session with Dr. Schwartz, as friends again.
-
Day 11: Action and Reaction – Assignment
Pro-Series Mike O – Pass #5 Action/ Reaction
What I’ve learned doing this assignment is… the process helps you see all the facets, build and integrate the pieces before the script is written and you have to spend hours figuring out where a key piece belongs.
Expand your outline with Pass #5: Action/Reaction by following these steps:
1. Tell us the following:
– Concept:
– Protagonist Goal:
– Protagonist Character Arc:
– Main Conflict:2. Create the Action/Reaction Events chart for your story. and list it.
Protagonist and Antagonist . Brook goes to her dad’s art gallery Meets Richard, he tries to charm/seduce her Brook tours the Gallery, likes it Richard runs down the Gallery & its profit potential Brook tells Alan she’s keeping gallery Richard overhears her plans, vandalizes the bldg. Brook’s response, video cameras in bldg. Richard tells her that is something he tried to get her dad to do Brook wants to see the books, client list Richard tells her there isn’t one; taps his head “its’ all up here” Brook tries to learn what’s going on Richard uses a quick-claim deed to trick and try to get gallery Her gut tells her to photo the artworks Richard steals valuable pieces, replaces them then burns bldg. Brooklyn confronts Richard Richard learns she has photos of the art & of him taking them (The only way you can tell it’s Richard is his hand tattoo (something Brook commented on at dinner when she first came to town)***
3. Make a list of the emotional moments the Protagonist will go through that will cause her to face the change she needs to make.
Two guidelines for these emotional moments: Show some aspect of the loss Brooklyn faces by not facing her fear or making the change. Start small and then escalate in size and intensity.
Brooklyn’s Character Arc:
What she wants: fly out settle her father’s estate and leave quickly as possible
What she needs: To learn who her father really was and face the abandonment issues she has w/ menOld trait: Non-committal/ non-confrontational; hides in her work
Changed to: stands up for herself/develops a relationship; finds love and acceptance along the way4. Place the actions you like from #2 and emotional moments from #3 in your current outline — and list the outline. NOTE (**) denotes the additions to the outline
OPENING SCENE: Brooklyn is having lunch with her best friend and her patron for her paintings.
INT. CAFE — LUNCH Brooklyn talks with Carolyn about love, loss, and her upcoming 30<sup>th</sup> birthday.
EXT. GALLERY BUILDING – LATE AFTERNOON Brooklyn takes her latest painting to Carolyn’s gallery for the upcoming showing.
INT. TOWN HOME – DRIVE WAY – EARLY EVENING Brooklyn gets home, changes into lounge clothes, gets a letter from her father’s lawyer.
**FLASHBACK – KITCHEN – DISTANT PAST Brooklyn recalls her mother telling her that her father wasn’t providing, she had to go to work; they grew apart. He left them
INCITING INCIDENT: Brooklyn learns she is the executor of her father’s estate and must leave.
INT. CAROLYN’S SUV – DAY Carolyn drives Brooklyn to the airport, warns her it might take her a few days.
EXT. CAR RENTAL PARKING LOT – NOON Brooklyn leaves the airport, drives off in a rental Jeep for her father’s town.
EXT. CAFE – CONTINUOUS Brooklyn arrives in town. Hungry, she finds a café and stops.
INT. LAW OFFICE – DAY Brooklyn calls her dad’s lawyer. He answers and joins her for lunch.
INT. ART GALLERY OFFICE – DAY Alan takes Brooklyn to her father’s gallery. Brooklyn meets Richard (antagonist) he is a charming womanizer. He plays upon her emotions. **She comments on his one-of-a-kind hand tattoo
INT. SMOKE SHACK – EVENING Brooklyn meets Richard at the restaurant for dinner and to talk about the gallery and get her up to speed. **Richard tries to seduce her, she is too gun-shy.
INT. ALAN’S OFFICE – MORNING Brooklyn is warned by the lawyer, Alan, that Richard wants the gallery. He gives Brooklyn keys to her dad’s cabin and directions on how to get to the cabin.
INT. JEEP – LATER Brooklyn is following the map, finds her dad’s cabin. It’s beautiful.
EXT/INT. CABIN – CONTINUOUS From the outside, it is beautiful. Inside, more stunning. Brooklyn discovers her dad had great taste, was a painter. He has photos of her from childhood on. Shes blown away. She never saw him keeping tabs on her.
INTERCUT: CAROLYN DRIVING, BROOKLYN AT THE WINDOW Brooklyn tells her that her mother lied about her dad, talk about Carolyn’s son, then Iverson, CEO of Apex Industries, is stopping by the gallery to buy Brooklyn’s three paintings.
EXT. CABIN DECK – DAY Brooklyn is there painting the landscape before her. Finishes, sets it by her dad’s, same landscape different season. Tells him “Here daddy, for you. Merry Xmas”
FIRST ACT TURNING POINT: Brooklyn discovers a shoe box filled w/ letters all “return to sender” letters her father wrote to her, which her mother wrote “return to sender” on them. END OF ACT ONE
EXT. FRONT PORCH – CONTINUOUS
Brooklyn answers the door, meets Tarek and his two small sons. Learns they are in for the holiday to spend it with her dad. They don’t know he has passed.
INT. KITCHEN – LATER
She tells Tarek her father passed. The boys overhear. They all hug.
INT. LIVING ROOM – LATER
Brooklyn, Tarek and the kids play monopoly together. Brooklyn wins.
INT. DINING ROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
Tarek and the boys share the dinner they brought with Brooklyn.
EXT. PORCH – AFTER DINNER
Tarek, the boys and Brooklyn go outside, have a snowball fight.
EXT/INT. PICKUP TRUCK – LATER
Tarek and the boys pack up and leave Brooklyn.
INT. CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Brooklyn retrieves the shoe box of old letters, electricity goes out. She lights lanterns, builds a fire.
INT. LIVING ROOM – LATER
Brooklyn reads all her father’s letters to her, throws the old checks in the fire.
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Tarek worries about Brooklyn, Tyler tells him to call her, Brandon knows dad didn’t get her #
INT. LIVING ROOM – SAME
Phone rings, Brooklyn thinks it’s Tarek; it’s Richard. She turns down his dinner offer, meet him tomorrow.
**She asks him where the client list is, he tells her it’s all in his head. “Your father let me handle the sales, said he didn’t care for it one bit. I didn’t ask and he didn’t explain himself.”
**INT. GALLERY – LATER
Richard goes there, takes all the receipts, papers, invoices and ledger, then vandalizes the place.
**EXT/INT. GALLERY – MORNING
Brooklyn goes to Art Gallery; finds it vandalized. She freaks, then takes a stand and calls the local alarm company. Has video cameras, motion detectors, the works installed including a few hidden cameras.
INT. COLD CREEK CAFE – LUNCH
Brooklyn runs into Tarek and Tyler there. They argue over the merits of an artist. She is offended. She tells him, ** “someone in your idyllic little town ransacked and vandalized my dad’s gallery last night…”
INT. GALLERY – AFTERNOON
Carolyn calls Brooklyn; Iverson wants to meet Brooklyn, has $, has to see her in person to buy her work.
INT. GALLERY – LATER
Brooklyn gets a basket of goodies from Tarek w/ an apology card. **Says he’s sorry for what happened to her gallery.
INT. JOSHUA’S CABIN – NIGHT
Brooklyn mulls over her feelings for Tarek, her lust for fame and recognition that Iverson can provide.
INT. LIMOUSINE – LATE AFTERNOON
Iverson greets Brooklyn. Flatters her, they go to dinner where Carolyn is there waiting for them.
MONTAGE – BROOKLYN AND GUESTS CELEBRATING
Dancing, mingling, dinner and desert. Iverson kisses the back of her hand, a telling gesture.
INT. CAFÉ – NEXT MORNING
Brooklyn and Carolyn talk re: Iverson wanting Brooklyn to paint murals in his mansion and perhaps more.
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – KITCHEN – MORNING
Tarek makes boy’s breakfast, winces in pain several times.
EXT/INT. WINTERGREEN BANK – AFTERNOON
Brooklyn goes in and buys all of Tarek’s photograph off the wall.
SERIES OF SHOTS
Brooklyn goes to the places where Tarek has his photos and buys them, takes them to her gallery.
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Tarek and boys build a fire, have eggnog and cookies. Tarek’s new phone is fully charged. Brandon tells him, “You know Brooklyn left you a bunch of texts.”
INTERCUT: ALAN, HIS OFFICE; BROOKLYN, THE GALLERY
He tells her Richard is trying a legal stunt to steal the gallery from her.
EXT. GRAVEYARD – DUSK
Brooklyn goes to visit her father, tells him her mom lied. Cries, Ruby shows up, tells her that her father knew she loved him, that her father was the love of her life.
INT. JOSHUA’S CABIN – LATER
Brooklyn is drinking wine, eating chocolate, calls Tarek.
INTERCUT: BROOKLYING SITTING; TAREK AT THE FIREPLACE
Brooklyn is sure her father’s signature on the document Richard gave to her lawyer is a forgery. Tarek tells her to be careful, that Richard is a good guy and this starts their argument and tif.
[HAVE THIS ARGUMENT OVER RICHARD – DRIVE BROOKLYN TO CHICAGO, TO SEE IVERSON…. WORK ON THIS ANGLE NEED THE TENSION…. LOVE TRIANGLE>>>
INT. BED – LATER
Brooklyn texts Carolyn, asks for Iverson’s cell number. Carolyn texts it to her with a smilie face.
She texts Iverson, he texts her back.
INSERT – TEXT
“I will send my jet for you. Let me know when you would like to leave.”
INSERT – TEXT
“Tomorrow, after work, 6pm. Denver Stapleton, right?”
INSERT – TEXT
“When you get to Stapleton, call James at this number: 773-456-3336. He will find you.”
She goes to Chicago, Iverson makes his intentions known, they kiss and she realizes it isn’t something she can do for any amount of money. She apologizes, says she is in a relationship. Iverson is gracious and says he still wants her to do the murals. They part friends… She touches her lips (look up how I wrote it when Brooklyn thinks back to Iverson’s kiss then thinks on Tarek’s, and knows what true love is …. Epiphany!!
INT. MASTER BEDROOM – MORNING
Brooklyn is awakened by the door bell. She checks the security camera, it’s Tarek and the boys. She is so happy.
They go out, cut Brooklyn a Christmas tree and take it back to her place. Tarek tells her it has to drop. The warmth will settle the branches. TAREK “Give it a day, it’ll be perfect.” That night at Tarek’s cabin, they make dinner.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NEXT EVENING
Brooklyn, Tarek and the boys decorate Brooklyn’s tree then play a revenge game of Monopoly. Learn Brooklyn is leaving again for Chicago.
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE – 47<sup>th</sup> FLOOR – AFTERNOON
Brooklyn goes to see Iverson, learns what he wants her to paint. Takes the sketches with her.
INT. STUDIO – LATER
Brooklyn is in her studio painting, working on her ideas for Iverson’s murals. Carolyn sneaks up on her. They have a heart-to-heart re: her love for Tarek and her fear.
INT. KITCHEN – NEXT MORNING
Carolyn answers Brook’s phone, speaks with Tarek. Listens, orders his airplane tickets, tricks him.
INT. STUDIO – DAY
Tarek surprises Brooklyn at her loft. They KISS, go back to Carolyn’s.
INT. BROOKLYN’S HOME – LATER
Spend the night, the boys with Tarek. Next morning, she leaves, Tarek collapses in pain.
INT. STUDIO – MOMENTS LATER
Brooklyn gets a panicked call from Brandon, his dad is on the floor. Calls 911.
EXT. BROOKLYN’S RESIDENCE – LATER
Brooklyn pulls up, ambulance is there. Tarek tells Brooklyn “Look after my boys.” END OF ACT TWO
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – LATER
Tyler in Brooklyn’s lap in Tarek’s room. He survives, they are all together.
INT. BABBLING BROOK GALLERY – NIGHT
Richards breaks in, steals the good paintings and substitutes them for no-name paintings. ** then torches the place, to cover the theft of the valuable paintings versus the no name subsitutes.
INT. BROOKLYN’S STUDIO – DAY
Carolyn shows Iverson in the studio where they see Brooklyn’s easels.
INT. TAREK’S CABIN – MORNING
Brooklyn, Tarek and the boys are all together. ** Brooklyn gets a call from the sheriff and alarm company.
INT. GALLERY – LATER
** Brooklyn walks through the rubble, distraught; knows who did it and why.
** INT. BAR – DAY (CLIMAX)
Brooklyn confronts Richard at his favorite watering hole. She sets down photos of a person all in black moving about the gallery, pulling paintings off the wall, replacing them… Her last photo is of a close-up of Richard’s hand tattoo as it shows momentarily between the leather glove and black sleeve of his coat.
Carolyn walks in as moral support for Brooklyn. Behind her, the sheriff with handcuffs.
EXT. GRAVE SITE – DAY
Brooklyn visits her father’s grave, apologizes, cries, begs for his forgiveness.
EXT. MEADOW – CHRISTMAS MORNING
We glide over the new fallen snow, see the Christmas lights up around the cabin, the chimney smoke and go inside…
INT. BROOKLYN’S CABIN – CONTINUOUS
Brandon hands out Christmas presents, Tarek asks Brooklyn to marry him.
ROLL END-OF-FILM CREDITS
MONTAGE – WEDDING
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