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Day 4 Assignments
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DAY 4: CHARACTERIZATION
Lisa’s Characters Live!
“What I learned from this is . . .” sometimes the voice of the character naturally comes out when you start to write it and sometimes it doesn’t so you have to play with it until it appears to you.
OPENING SCENES of “MARY’S CHRISTMAS” – INTRODUCTION OF MARY WINTERS.
MARY WINTERS (VOICEOVER)(Sarcastically)
Here lies Seneca Falls, New York, the inspiration for the classic Christmas movie It’s a Wonderful Life…a sickening sweet taste of times gone by that is watched by almost everyone in the world during that magical time of the year…
EXT-SHOTS OF SENECA FALLS, NY
SHOTS OF MAIN STREET LIT UP AT NIGHT. THE “YOU ARE NOW ENTERING BEDFORD FALLS” SIGN.
MARY (V.O. CONTINUES)
There’s even a fake sign on the way into town which reads “You are entering Bedford Falls”. For all intents & purposes, Seneca Falls IS Bedford Falls. Just look at it…
Many of the businesses in town cater to the It’s a Wonderful Life theme.
EXT-SHOTS OF SENECA FALLS, NY (CONTINUES)
THE CLARENCE HOTEL, THE BIJOU THEATER, ZUZU’S CAFÉ, MARTINI’S BAR, THE GEORGE BAILEY BRIDGE.
MARY (V.O. CONTINUES)
Oh no. There it is the George Bailey bridge sitting in the middle of town and haunting us every day with a story of community and redemption that we must try to live up to…
EXT-SHOTS OF SENECA FALLS, NY (CONTINUES)
THE NATIONAL WOMEN’S RIGHTS MUSEUM
MARY (V.O. CONTINUES)
…Not to mention the National Women’s Rights Museum, the other reason Seneca Falls is even on a map.
EXT-SHOTS OF SENECA FALLS, NY (CONTINUES)
THE CHURCH AT THE END OF THE STREET
MARY (V.O. CONTINUES)
Well, the church marks the end of downtown, except if you look across the street you will find…wait for it…YES! the It’s a Wonderful Life Museum. Our real raison d’etre…
You may ask, do we ever get tired of living in a town with a theme? Yes, we do! Especially me. You see, my mother organized the annual It’s a Wonderful Life festival every year for the last 10 years and I wanted nothing to do with it.
Now upon her death, the town has voted me as her successor. I tried to get out of it, but no one else wanted the job. Well, except for Violet. I COULDN’T let Violet have it. She’s been after everything “ME” since kindergarten. See I’m an overachiever and Violet has always been jealous of me. So, I have no choice but to suck it up and put on the best dawg gone festival ever!
(MARY makes gagging noises)
FADE OUT
FADE UP
EXT. GEORGE BAILEY BRIDGE – NIGHT
It’s pouring buckets of rain. A firetruck with its siren going comes barreling up Main Street to the edge of the George Baily bridge. As the firetruck starts to cross, it comes to a halt. In the headlights MARY, a firecracker in a fire suit at 36 and her partner, BERT, a mild-mannered man in his 50’s can see a tall MAN in his 40’s on the bridge.
BERT
Is that who I think it is?
MARY
Oh, for god’s sake! Hook me up to the truck and I’ll go talk to him.
BERT
You sure you don’t want me to do it?!
MARY
You know I have to do this!
MARY and BERT jump out of the truck and BERT ties MARY to the front. MARY approaches the man up on the railing.
MARY (yelling over the rain)
Hey there! What’cha doing?
MAN
I can’t go on like this!
MARY
If you jump, you’re going to hurt yourself. What about your children? Do you want to leave them without a father?
MAN
You take care of them…or Bert!
MARY TIES HERSELF TO THE MAN
MAN
Get off of me!
MARY
Your children need they’re dad. Come on down and let’s talk about it.
MAN
No more talking!
The MAN jumps off the bridge and MARY goes too because they are tied together. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the rope isn’t long enough to hit the water, so they are hanging above the water and rocks in the rain.
MARY
Now what are you going to do!
The MAN tries to untie the knot in the rope. Another firetruck arrives on the bank of the river and shines a light on the situation.
MAN
Let me go!
MARY
There is no way I’m letting you drop without me and I’m not going into that cold water! Bert! Bert!
BERT starts backing up the firetruck to try to pull up MARY and the MAN. The rope breaks.
MARY(SCREAMS)
Bert!!
MARY and the MAN fall into the running river with rocks around them. MARY is holding onto the MAN with dear life and trying to swim to the shore.
MARY
I’m going to hurt you when we get out of this!
MAN
Let me go!
MARY
Sam!! Pull us out!
SAM and another FIREFIGHTER, wade into the water to throw them a line. MARY and the MAN go under. Then MARY pops up and lifts the MAN up.
SAM
Grab the line, Mary!
MARY
He’s fighting me!
MAN
Let me go!!
SAM
Kick him in the nuts!
MARY twists herself and kicks the MAN in his nuts. He stops fighting her long enough for her to grab the line. SAM and the other FIREFIGHTER wade in far enough to grab MARY and the MAN. MARY and the MAN lie in the pouring rain on the bank of the river.
MARY
What the hell are you thinking!!
MARY starts to hit the MAN. The MAN starts to cry.
MARY
Stop crying, will ya!! It’ll be alright.
MARY pulls the MAN toward her. MARY holds the MAN tight as he sobs.
MARY (feeling badly)
Stop crying, I won’t hit you anymore.
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June Fortunato’s Characters Live! for Retirement Day 4 Characterization These scenes follow the opening scenes I posted for yesterday’s assignment which was Dueling Agendas. What I learned: The descriptions you provided were interesting thanks for pointing them out.
INT/EXT- VAN – CONTINUOUS
Totally wired, sweating, his long hair falling in his face, ROY leans on the filthy steering wheel, and forces the accelerator to the floor – freaking out every other car who dodges the maniac, and has to swerve and pull over.
ROY
Yeah baby! Rock em sock em! Step aside Uncle Roy knows how to fly!
Sirens behind. Roy looks back at them.
ROY
That’s it, that’s awright. Free room and board, Roy. It’s all good. Watch out guys, old Roy’s coming in for a landing.
He swerves into a PIGGLY WIGGLY and slams into the building. Nobody’s hurt but the front of the van now looks at the sausage counter inside.
ROY
Hot dang! I ain’t felt that good since I blowed up the ammo tent. Fuckers exploded for hours!
The OWNER of the Piggly Wiggly runs out waving his arms- PEOPLE with coffee cups scream at him- The COP CAR parks sideways behind him and TWO COPS jump out- GUNS aimed. Still at the wheel, Roy rehearses:
ROY
Officer, Officers, a man needs his coffee. So sorry, but I seem to have mistakenly hit something. I can’t see shit with these eyes- I’m a veteran, Yes, sir, fucked up. Hell, you were just a zit on your mama’s face then weren’t you? Better not to know, son. So where do I get my java?
INT. JAIL HOLDING CELL
THREE MEN, BIG RED, SKANK, and DOGBONE (Roy’s names for them) high as buzzards, and a terrified TEEN share the holding cell with Roy. The teen looks back and forth- eyes dart, scared and shaky. BIG RED barfs a load at the kid’s feet while Roy yanks him out of the way just in time.
ROY
Christ, what was that? Spaghetti?
To the kid.
ROY
You gotta learn to dodge quick.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by June f.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by June f.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
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Alice’s Characters Live!
What I learned from this is I maybe write too long descriptions. I tend to only give outlook.
INCITING INCIDENT:
Inspection of next candidate for a ward into restricted reservation.
Interview is conducted via radio, personality of inspector unseen.
WARD (54), heavy-build man with a beard, looking older of his age, perceptibly having a keen, so that one wishes go look for his scars, with which he went covered all over during his adventures, is such kind of men who move slowly, and then turn out to be good dancers.
VOICE
How long have you served as a WARD?
Long silence.
WARD
One and a half years.
Voice gets disturbed.
VOICE
On your last assignment, did you take someone out?
WARD
Three of them.
Voice gets even more disturbed.
VOICE
Did you pull them out immediately after your arrival?
WARD
I lost my assistant.
Voice calms down.
VOICE
You have a choice!
On not a big screen before Ward appears map, with three dots indicating habitations.
Ward considers them, faintly smiling, as he lightly works his fingers over his beard.
WARD
This ONE!
Hits one of them, a dot on digital screen.
INT. ZONE RESERVATION – DAY
Empty staircase inside of residential building.
Ward puts key into lock of the door into his new apartment, belonged previously to his predecessor. Jerks the door open.
It’s dark inside. Long, dark plush shades cover the windows.
On the floor a piece of paper. He picks it up.
It reads “I suicide!” To suicide on their slang means, previous ward decided to go shooting residents to protect someone.
Everywhere there are notes on stickers.
Note on shades says ‘Bullets don’t go through the window glass’.
Ward pulls shades aside.
All the window is dirtied from outside, apart from where they wiped huge “FUCK OFF”, seen from out of room mirrored, from right to left.
INT. WARD’S ROOM – DAY
Ward stands near window, and via clean glass observes LENA (17), moving across the yard in his direction. Lena bears slight resemblance to KIAT, only without that one’s sophistication. There is long skirt on her, dark with small flowers, falling till rather rubbed shoes, in which though it might be very useful to cross the yard. On top of her one might say, something is worn, dark, slimming, and with buttons. Other clothes are perceived to be under outer ones. Her dark hair falls freely, rather untidy, being obviously unwashed.
He waits till LENA enters.
WARD
You never wash?
LENA
Then they don’t approach.
WARD
But… you do wash your sex?
LENA
I tried not to, but…
WARD
That didn’t work out!
LENA
Yes.
WARD
But, they don’t know about it.
LENA
No.
Ward laughs good naturedly. Considers LENA, working his beard. Sheds words very gradually.
WARD
You know, I believe that we could concentrate on our studies better, if you would stay at my place for a while.
Pause.
WARD
What about your parents…
LENA
They are not my parents!
WARD
But, you was born inside of habitation.
LENA
Yes.
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Dev Ross – Characters Live
What I learned from doing this exercise was by more completely coloring in aspects of my characters, I was able to write a scene with more colors as well.
INT. CLAY’S BASEMENT – KKK MEETING – CONTINUOUS
A photo of a blue-eyed Jesus Christ surrounded by KKK and family photos cover the basement meeting room’s wood laminated walls. In a corner, a seamstress dress form bears a yellowing KKK robe.
CLAY CAINE, (40) the pontific Grand Dragon of this local Arkansas chapter, presides, eyes closed, bible open, his post military physic still evident. If he were a cross, he’d be burning. He lowers his head, closes his well-worn bible.
CLAY
Amen.
Present, are three KKK members: JESS, (late 30’s) whose bulging belly signals future heart attacks, ARNOLD (50’s) whose Fu Manchu beard sports rubber bands pulling his silver whiskers together in three different places, and DUNN, (20’s), a fidgeting dude who suffers premature balding and ejaculation. Their heads are lowered.
JESS/ARNOLD/DUNN
Amen.
Clay sets his bible down. The men sit on the squeaky couch.
CLAY
Boys, let us head straight to the first order of business. Membership.
The members wait expectantly. Though Clay rolls like a chaplain, he’s their Grand Dragon. If they were brave enough, they’d suggest he switch positions.
CLAY
Yes, it’s down. Adam Spencer and his Sons of Patriots are what’s current right now, but– the pendulum will swing back.
JESS
With due respect, Grand Dragon, with it just being us three, I don’t think we can wait for the pendulum.
ARNOLD
Jess is right. Our membership needs rebuilding now. It’s becoming an issue of respect.
DUNN
That’s right. Ella Stevens, that cute waitress at Berk’s, always gave me free coffee and pie but no more.
CLAY
I hear you. We all miss what we once commanded. But, we have got to hold the line now more than ever. These Sons of Patriots are unstable aggressors, engaging in violence not approved by the Klan hierarchy.
When the membership responds without much enthusiasm, Clay turns on his inner preacher.
CLAY
Boys! Our ranks were once filled by respectable doctors, honest lawyers and decent politicians who were gentleman first, Christian men with integrity, not wild-eyed terrorists. Do you remember?!
They do!
CLAY
So now… It is left to us, the chosen few, to uphold that integrity. Dear Lord, tell me you’re with me in the trenches before this fight!
Freshly inspired, the members stand, Jess with some effort, to firmly shake Clay’s hand.
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DAY 4: CHARACTERIZATIONS
(Anita Gomez) Characters Live!
What I learned from this: I tend to be brief in my characterizations. This exercise gave me permission to open up and be more descriptive.
Write a scene focusing on characterization:
1. Look through your outline and select a scene where you want ONE character to stand out from the others.
INT. LAW OFFICES – NIGHT
Danica confronts senior law partner (Cyrus) that she is pregnant and past the 6 weeks allowable for an abortion – a law he was instrumental in crafting. He wants her to have an abortion anyway to protect his marriage, family and career.
2. Brainstorm ideas for the scene for each of these areas.
A. How can I describe the character in an interesting way?
Being all business could make Danica dull… so she needs to show some flaws or maybe a more fiery disposition than I first imagined.
B. How can the character burst onto the scene?
Danica could burst into Cyrus’ office interrupting his work. Or, it can be after hours and she slides quietly into his office. Or it can be something in-between: she can’t wait for the end of the work day and walks in while he’s on the phone, locking the door behind her (which he misinterprets)
C. What actions naturally fit this scene and the character?
Danica is not a shrinking violet, but is professional, so she wouldn’t cause a scene at work.
D. What would a character with these traits say in this scene?
Danica is a no-nonsense shoot from the hip kind of person. But she’s also dealing with a very personal crisis that involves her boss – so she can’t help but be more emotional than usual…. I think slamming the door at the end is out of character, and why she should do it.
E. How might other characters describe this one?
Cyrus might perceive her as strong but sexy. He’s attracted to her physically but also her intellect and ambition, which reflects his own.
F. What environment would show off who this character is?
The work environment is really the perfect way to introduce / showcase Danica.
3. Write an initial draft where that character stands out by having them burst on the scene, giving them a vivid introduction, expressing who they are through their dialogue, and having others talk about them. (You may have as many characters in the scene as you want, but have your lead stand out through as many of the forms of characterization as you can.)
INT. LAW OFFICES – DAY
A petite brunette dressed in an impeccable and expensive suit stands at the head of a conference table. DANICA is a tight little package both physically and emotionally. She’s conducting a meeting like a maestro conducts an orchestra – with such crisp staccato instructions meted out with an efficiency that brooks no interruption or questions.
Someone catches her attention through the glass wall and breaks her concentration. It’s CYRUS, the head partner of what we can now see is a large and busy law firm. He swaggers by the conference room charming various assistants and secretaries along the way dispensing ready smiles, schmoozing and oozing a charismatic masculine presence.
CONFERENCE ATTENDEE
(Interrupting her reverie)
Danica? So who are you assigning to the Ryder case?
DANICA’S attention swings back to the meeting at hand.
DANICA
Umm… let me get back to you. That’s all for now.
She closes her leather portfolio and marches from the room leaving the others to look around puzzled – this abrupt departure with unfinished business is not like her, and they notice.
Danica follows the path Cyrus took but without any of the social niceties along the way. She’s all brisk business. She gets to the end of the hall and stops in front of the closed office door with the plaque reading, “Cyrus Kilner, Partner”. Danica’s uncharacteristic hesitation belies her nervousness.
Then she throws the door open with conviction and enters Cyrus’s office. He’s on the phone and looks up, surprised. Danica quietly closes and locks the door behind her.
CYRUS
(into the phone)
I have to call you back.
He hangs up and a sly smile spreads across his face. He stands and takes a slow walk to Danica who’s just standing there with her back against the closed door, hands on handle.
CYRUS
Well isn’t this a nice surprise. Couldn’t wait until after hours? We haven’t snuck in a quickie before. How quiet do you think we can be?
Now he’s standing directly in front of Danica. But as he puts his hands on her shoulders she shrugs him off and storms away.
CYRUS
Playing hard to get?
Danica doesn’t answer, just paces the large well-appointed office. She picks up and puts down a few expensive-looking pieces of art tastefully incorporated around the room. Cyrus watches her, wary now. Finally she whirls to face him, chin up.
DANICA
I’m pregnant.
Cyrus looks sucker-punched.
CYRUS
What!? How –
DANICA
The usual way.
(beat)
It must have happened when I changed my prescription. I guess the pill isn’t as reliable as death and taxes.
CYRUS
We can’t –
DANICA
There is no “we” in this Cyrus.
Now it’s Cyrus’ turn to pace the room like a caged animal.
CYRUS
Right. But you know I can’t have this – it would ruin me… my marriage, my career…
He looks over his shoulder to her.
CYRUS
Our career. Your career.
He goes to her, now trying a soft reasonable tone.
CYRUS
Dani, we can take care of this. I’ll find a private doctor –
DANICA
(laughing derisively)
Oh that’s rich. You were on the state legislature when the current anti-abortion bill was signed into law. You gloated over that for weeks, Or don’t you remember all that posturing over hearing the baby’s heartbeat making life real, etc, etc.
Cyrus looks panicked. He starts sputtering….
CYRUS
That was meant to… that’s different… how far along are you?
DANICA (cont.)
Oh don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. I’ll just have to leave the state to do it.
There’s a long pause between them. It is the sound of an affair ending and two people seeing each other for who they really are.
DANICA
Consider this my notice.
Without another word Danica goes to the office door, calmly unlocks it, and then slams it really hard on her way out.
4. Take a break for a few hours, then read the initial draft and make any changes you’d like.
Changes incorporated above.
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Kate’s Characters Live!
What I learned from this is how helpful to take a moment to actually write a description of the character as if writing a book – and with everything else we have developed, who she is helps bring her into the room! I can’t wait to bring each of the others in. And doing this also meant I got to start to find the supporting/background characters I need.
OPENING SCENE – LUCIANA AND THE TOWN MEETING
INT.CHURCH HALL MEETING ROOM
A rectangular room with a wooden floor, a long table against a wall, set up with 2 hot water urns, disposable cups, a can of instant coffee and homemade cookies.
A rickety wooden table sits up front with 3 chairs at it, facing an assortment of wooden chairs in uneven rows.
A large TV screen incongruously sits on a smaller table next to the large one, a laptop beside it.
Variously on the walls is the American flag, a wooden crucifix, old photos of the community, including a fierce-looking old Mexican farmer with a small girl holding his hand staring directly at the camera from under a wide-brimmed hat – Luciana and her grandfather.
About 30 people mostly men in the 30-60s mill about, obviously waiting for something to begin.
A large plain clock with black hands is prominent in the room saying 7.10.
A group of three 40+ men are making their coffee.
IAN
Well, I’m sick of it I can tell you.
BOB
It’s time to do something. It can’t go on like this.
IAN
It’s a slow drip, drip wearing us all away.
BOB
What do you think Stephen?
STEPHEN
Totally agree. Paul lost his place last week.
BOB
What do you mean, ‘lost’?
STEPHEN
He got it. Came in and made an offer Paul couldn’t say no to.
BOB
I guess that big new supply store killed Paul’s old hardware store. It might be a few more miles but…
INT.CHURCH HALL MEETING ROOM (CONTINUOUS)
A younger man and woman sitting in the front row with their coffee in personal re-usable mugs.
SUSAN
I really hate those styrofoam cups. I can’t believe people still use them.
LUIS
They’re cheap and in this town…
SUSAN
They’re not sustainable.
LUIS
Si, and neither is this. Where is Luciana?
INT.CHURCH HALL MEETING ROOM (CONTINUOUS)
2 older men seated off to the side, one clearly agitated.
HAROLD
She might be our Mayor but she’s still a woman and never on time.
DAVE
You gotta give it to her, she’s a fighter.
HAROLD
I can’t get used to it. I know she’s old Jose’s grand-daughter but she’s still -.
He is interrupted as Sylvie, his wife, comes and sits beside him.
SYLVIE
Harold? Are you still going on about Luciana? She stepped up when no one else would.
DAVE
I wouldn’t take her on, that’s for sure. She’s ferocious when she gets going.
SYLVIE
It’s not just the ranch that’s got her back up. There’s something else about him.
HAROLD
Cold he is, and mean. But what can we do?
SYLVIE
Luciana has something in mind. She called this meeting.
HAROLD
And she’s l -.
The door springs open and LUCIANA SANCHEZ, a 5’3″ s-curve of a woman, with 50 years of hard-scrabble life invested in the community, wielding a flamenco-inflected voice topped by an untamed black mane of hair busts in.
She is preceded by Hades, her black Mexican Hairless dog, big for the breed, and very alert. They make straight for the 3 chairs at the table, Hades leaping onto one and sitting regarding the room over the table.
Luciana sets down a large bag, pulls out a stack of papers and sits. A tall, bespectacled man of about 40 emerges from the crowd and joins her as everyone finds a seat and quiet falls. He addresses the crowd.
FRANCIS
Ok, ok! Mayor Sanchez is here. Let’s get started. Luciana?
LUCIANA
Hola! Los siento, estoy tarde. It’s been a day!
She flashes a huge smile.
LUCIANA
Bienvenidos! This is not a real town hall meeting, just a meeting to see an idea!
She sweeps her unruly hair back and stands dramatically.
I know we are all tired and anxious about what is happening to our town. It is more than we can bare, our hearts are heavy, our rage is building. Do we stay silent? Do we watch our land being swallowed by this greedy developer who perches like a vulture waiting for the lambs to fall?
The crowd is stirred and variously shout ‘No’ etc. She leans forward, her ample bosom crowding her tight red dress.
LUCIANA
We fight him! We help each other, find ways to keep each old ranch, every casita, all the new young families and nuestros viejos – our old ones – here with us.
The crowd is really excited now. Luciana sweeps her eyes over the crowd, including everyone in an intimate immediate way.
LUCIANA
So, tonight we make ideas, we consider the ways we can bring the money we need to say ‘NO’ when he comes to the door – a wolf in sheep clothing – saying ‘I can help you’ when he really means ‘I will take all you have’.
They cheer.
LUCIANA
Luis?
The young man waves his hand in the air.
LUCIANA
Luis and Susan – our brave young ones – they have un muy buen plan! A way we can make this place work for all of us. But we must hold out against this Darough, just un poco mas largo. Si?
They all cheer in agreement.
LUCIANA
So! First we hear Luis and Susan then into little groups and we plan.
She pulls her chair to one side, whistles Hades to her, who sits on her lap not taking his eyes off the room. The table is open to Luis and Susan, who make their way up.
LUIS
Gracias, Luciana. Everyone. We can survive here without changing everything, we can be sustainable. Francis? Is the video ready?
FRANCIS
Ready to go!
Francis crosses to the laptop and TV screen, Luciana smiles warmly at him. Luis moves to the other side.
SUSAN
I’ll turn the lights off.
She runs to the wall and switches off the lights as the TV screen comes to life.
Luciana claps her hands with authority. Hades barks once.
LUCIANA
Todos ustedes miren esto!
SUSAN
Or for those whose Spanish is rusty ‘All of you watch this’!
LUCIANA
Lo siento… when I am excited – my English..
She shrugs with a grin as the crowd laughs, stills and the video begins.
END SCENE
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PS81 – Dana Characters Live
What I learned from this assignment:
My characters are coming to life, but this is their beginning and time will determine what and who they eventually become.
FADE IN:
EXT. SAN FRANCISCO – AERIAL SHOT – MID-MORNING
The Bay Bridge. Monday morning traffic is heavy into the city. We HEAR a local talk show on radio.
RADIO HOST (V.O.)
(Fill in later)
ZOOM toward a silver Mercedes SUV in traffic.
RADIO HOST (V.O.)
(Fill in later)
CLOSE on the SUV crawling across the bridge.
RADIO HOST (V.O.)
(Fill in later)
INT./EXT. MERCEDES SUV – MOVING – CONTINUOUS
ELLEN LANDRY behind the wheel with her seat pulled all the way forward to reach the pedals. She’s in her mid-30’s, and if not for raven black hair dusting her shoulders, one could imagine her fluttering over Disneyland sprinkling pixie dust.
She drives one hand on the wheel, the other wrapped around a Starbucks venti, half-sweat, non-fat, caramel macchiatio. The drink looks too big for her hand.
RADIO HOST (CONT’D)
We’ll be back to the Eric Rollins Show after these messages. And stay tuned later for Dr. Ellen Landry, psychiatrist du jour, right here on KZFO, AM dial 1360, San Francisco.
ELLEN
If I ever get there…
Ellen puffs her cheeks with a frustrated sign.
Her CELL PHONE RINGS. Ellen slips her Starbucks into the cup holder and pressed the call button on her steering wheel. The radio cuts out and ROGER LANDRY’S VOICE fills the car through the speakers.
ELLEN (CONT’D)
Hi, honey. What’s up?
ROGER
My car won’t start.
ELLEN
What? You had it in the shop last week. What’s wrong with it?
ROGER
(frustration)
Who knows? Starter. Alternator. It just won’t start, and I have to get the girls to school. I ordered Uber and got lucky. There was a driver around the corner from us. He’s almost here.
(beat)
But…
ELLEN
What?
ROGER
I need you to pick the girls up after school.
ELLEN
Honey, I can’t. I have my station manager’s meeting this afternoon.
ROGER
Samantha just remembered today is a short day. And Dean Rogers wants to talk with me about my tenure track. I can’t blow him off.
ELLEN
Pete wants to go over the ratings report with me. This report could make or break my show.
ROGER
Wouldn’t that be a shame?
ELLEN
That’s not fair. That’s not fair.
ROGER
I’m sorry, babe. Look — you know I respect what you do…
Ellen rolls her eyes.
ROGER (CONT’D)
(sighs; frustrated)
…but this isn’t my tenure. It’s our tenure. And if I don’t get it, I’m terminal. And not just here at Berkeley, but at all the UC’s. I could use your support here.
Ellen grumbles and sighs a heavy sigh, blowing air.
ELLEN
You know how I’d diagnosis your behavior if you were my patient, don’t you?
ROGER
I love you.
ELLEN
You’d better — but don’t push it.
(beat)
Okay. Tell the girls I’ll pick them up. And I’ll reschedule with Pete.
ROGER
Thanks, babe. I owe you — There’s Uber. We gotta go. See you tonight.
The call ends. Ellen picks up her coffee. The RADIO fades back on. It’s a COMMERCIAL for a pharmaceutical.
Her CELL PHONE RINGS AGAIN. This time, Ellen keeps drinking her coffee.
ELLEN
Hello?
CLAIRE (O.S.)
(panicked)
Where are you?
ELLEN
I’m getting off the bridge. Why?
CLAIRE (O.S.)
You’re missing the meeting?
ELLEN
What? What meeting?
CLAIRE (O.S.)
The station manager’s meeting with the talent! Pete’s going over the ratings.
ELLEN
(worried)
That’s not until this afternoon.
CLAIRE (O.S.)
It got moved. Pete sent the e-mail last Thursday. Didn’t you get it? You’re thirty minutes late!
ELLEN
(panicked)
OH, SHOOT, SHOOT, SHOOT.
CLAIRE (O.S.)
Just – GET HERE!
The call drops.
Ellen glances up. Her eyes go wide at something in the road. She hits the brakes, the SUV jolts. The lid on the cup pops, and coffee splatters on her white skirt.
ELLEN
Ohh — darn it! Darn it!
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Cameron Martin’s Characters Live!
What I learned doing this assignment is…First, I didn’t know I could do this, or was allowed to do this. I didn’t know I could describe the character in any way outside of the character’s actions. So that’s new! In addition, this gave me a unique freedom in writing I haven’t enjoyed before: having fun with the dialogue and descriptions. Usually, I’m trying to get to the point and keep things grounded and believable. But this introduced a strategy that allowed me to infuse a little personality that I really liked.
INT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY
A massive, rounded tent envelops the work site, where dozens of men scurry like ants in the construction of a new section of the space colony.
Behind the controlled chaos is the colony, with unfinished rods, wires, and beams jutting out like the rib cage of a dying animal.
Sparks whiz off the blade of a grinder cutting through a piece of rebar.
The grinder snaps and part of the circular blade screams across the work site and blasts through the tent covering.
An alarm sounds off as everyone’s attention and movement is diverted to a different pattern. Engineers and workers gather masks and run to the tent’s tear.
One ENGINEER races for the air vent and shuts it off.
The collapsing tent is held up at the point of the tear by the dozens of people, while one man is trusted to patch the hole.
SULLY, a man in his early thirties, eternally walking on a tight rope. He maintains a balancing act between professional and childish, amazing father and a man who never wants kids. Why is he here? Because he loves making things work more than making love.
SULLY
(talking his way through a process)
What in the jumped up hell happened here? Yeah, you had some shrapnel. But that should’ve gone through you like a dull hammer through sand.
WORKER
(holding up the tent)
How you holding up, Sul?
SULLY
I’m sorry, I know. Should’ve been done by now.
WORKER
What’s the holdup?
SULLY
Trying to make sure our only security isn’t equivalent to a zip tie on a safe.
WORKER
Didn’t smart people make this shit?
SULLY
Everyone’s doing their best. Not everyone’s best is all that smart.
Sully finishes the repairs.
SULLY
Done! Eat it NASA.
The engineer turns the air vent back on, but…
Nothing.
Engineer flips the switch a couple more times. He gets in front of the nozzle to take a look…
BOOM!
The engineer is blasted back 20 yards.
As the vent lifts up, Sully races to the Engineer.
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Matthew Frendo’s Characters Live!
What I learned doing this assignment was how to bring a character to life for the audience. This will increase relatability and make it a more compelling journey that people can relate to.
EXT. DIRTY STREET – DAY
The street is a filthy mess. Wind blows sand like a Wild West film, but with far more trash and debris, as people huddle in their makeshift huts.
Sellers of various types do their best to make money and get their goods into people’s hands.
Two mangy dogs encircle a moldy piece of bread, about to fight to the death over it.
Before they can attack, they both flinch as ALICIA (18) stomps in front of them. They both jump back and look at her with snarling teeth.
Alicia breaks the bread in half and gives each some. They eat their own pieces, leaving each other alone.
She stands up and surveys the area, standing tall. In a world where most people have been broken, she has an strength and regality that sets her apart. She squints her eyes, full of sorrow and loneliness, looking for an opening.
Then she sees it. She quickly walks up a seller with moldy fruit who is talking to NICK (22), a man pleading for food.
NICK
Hey man, look, I ain’t been a thief for a long time now. I just want a few apples for my Mom–
The SELLER looks at him, appraising.
ALICIA
Hey, he was the guy who robbled Sal last week! He was really hurt–
Nick looks at her, confused, until–
SELLER
I knew it! Thief! Now leave, before I get my friend to come out.
The Seller turns back around. Nick is about to say something to Alicia, when she throws an apple at him, yelling–
ALICIA
Hey! He’s doing it again!
The Seller looks at Nick with the apple. Before Nick can say anything, the Seller’s eyes bug out in rage.
SELLER
You son of a bitch!
The Seller pulls out a bat with a nail through it. NICK glares at her–
NICK
I never did nothing to you.
Then he runs off, as the Seller gives chase.
She pulls an old bag from under her shirt and quickly fills it with moldy fruit, before hurrying away.
After only a few steps, she is grabbed by a DIRTY MAN. A startled Alicia tries to get away, but he holds on.
DIRTY MAN
You pulled that trick with two others last week. I know. I see you here, every day. They always believe you because you’re pretty and smart and all sophisticated like–
He starts to look her up and down, getting skeezy.
She’s getting scared, and tries to break free.
DIRTY MAN
There are ways to get me not to talk. Oh, such fun ways–
He squeezes her arm, digging his fingers in and starts to pull her towards an alley.
She shoves the bag at him. He grabs it and the minute he releases her, she runs, fast.
She quickly goes behind the corner, hyperventilating and quivering in fear.
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ANNA HARPER
DAY 4 CHARACTERS LIVE
SILENT NIGHT
What I learned from this assignment. This was so far, the most transformational exercise to my script. Yes, it really did so much more than just dialogue to make the characters come alive and be more entertaining in the end, for an audience. I really enjoyed this exercise. Thank you.
EXT.ESTABLSIHING VILLAGE SCHOO/L DAY
Lyme Regis, a small historic English seaside village (used to shoot The French Lieutenant’s Woman, Persuasion, Wonka, and others)) is all decked out for Christmas. Beautiful lights are strung across the high streets and hanging baskets with Christmas arrangements swing from the antique wrought-iron street lamps. The shop windows sparkle with Christmas displays. A band of street musicians is playing Silent Night. From the top of the High street, the road runs down to the winter blue sea sparkling in the afternoon sun. Christmas tourists and locals create a busy, happy energy street scene. A light dusting of snow is on the ground.
EXT.VILLAGE SCHOOL/DAY
DYLAN
DYLAN is a 13-year-old boy. He has been electively silent,(mute), since the death of his mother two years ago.
He wears shorts even in winter, has an earing in one ear, and likes to wear Kaleo rock band shirts. He wears his hair like the rock band lead singer. His Dad Steve buys him expensive colourful runners which he cannot really afford. Dylan wants to go to art school.
DYLAN exits the school nervously looks around, and starts to run, looking back towards the school, he sees a pack of boys begin to follow him. They all start to run. The boys are shouting, “weirdo, Dumbo, retard, you haven’t got a mother, that’s why you are a lame weirdo.” Music opening bars “We are going down.” Kaleo.
MISS ELIZABETH PERKINS An attractive urban woman in her early 30s (A Cruella DeVille personality underneath the smooth charm of a car salesman,) is standing on the school steps watching the boys passively, with a malevolent smile.
INT.SCHOOLROOM/DAY
Elizabeth returns to her classroom and closes the door. She takes a hand mirror and lipstick out of her desk, and dialogues with her mirror. PLACEHOLDER RAP SONG CREATURE TEACHER.
EXT. VILLAGE HIGH STREET/DAY
The boys continue to run after a terrified Dylan. Dylan runs panting, stumbling, and flings himself into the bakery shop doorway, opens the shop door, then hides inside.
INT.BAKERY/DAY
The bakery is festooned with Christmas garlands, snowflakes decorate the window. Piles of Christmas goodies are on display. A young attractive woman, MICKEY the baker is behind the counter. She has Cornish red hair, pale Cornish skin, and a Kaleo tattoo on her forearm. Her hair is tied up in a red bandana and she wears large hoop earrings. The Charlie Brown Theme is playing.
MICKEY
Hey fella, what’s up, what’s happening? Are you alright? Are those boys giving you a hard time? Can I help you, my friend? Do you want me to kick their ass?
The boys run past the window. Dylan is coughing and spluttering for breath. Dylan checks they are down the street and then runs out the door, doorbells ringing behind him in the opposite direction.
Again he hears the boys yelling, taunting, getting closer. He runs up a side alley behind the Fresh from the Sea fish and chip shop. Desperate, he lifts the lid of a large garbage skiff, climbs in, and closes the lid on himself.
INT.GARBAGE SKIFF/DAY
Panting, coughing, and starting to cry in the darkened, garbage-filled skiff. The sound of the boys bullying voices, calling Dylan names, threatening, fade into the distance.
Dylan emerges from under the trash, dazed. There are sounds of rustling in the trash, Dylan is terrified, crying, he huddles in the corner.
DYLAN V.O.
Rats, there are rats in here!
A huge scruffy all-black Newfoundland dog emerges from under the trash with a large piece of fish and chip wrapper in his mouth. Dylan screams.
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Michael Katz Characters Live!
“What I learned from this is . . .” Referencing the Character Profile during the writing and rewriting of the scene was very useful in adding in and clarifying characterization elements. Though I’m not happy with my main introductory description of Waldo, nor the cheesy dialogue of the scene, I do feel like his narcissism, delusions of grandeur, and hotheadedness came through clearly.
Day 4 Assignment: Characterization
Write a scene focusing on characterization.
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INT. VIENNA, AUSTRIA – PILOT PLANT – CONFERENCE ROOM – MORNING
Full screen white. Pull out and it’s a concentrated energy beam coalescing from thousands of smaller energy transmissions coming from individual solar panels. Back further and this is happening in space. Above Earth.
We are watching a video of a computer simulation. The beam shoots down toward earth, and is absorbed by a humongous Tesla coil sitting on top of a skyscraper so tall it is peaking through the clouds.
Pull back out of the video to see we are in a dark room solely lit by the TV monitor. There are four suit-wearing executives sitting along one side of a large conference table. They are watching the monitor showing a brightly lit utopian cityscape at night.
The video ends with the titling: “KATZ SPACE SOLAR / LET THERE BE LIGHT”.
WALDO KATZ bursts into the room, the door hitting the wall, though the thud doesn’t shock the gentlemen. Waldo flicks on the light switch.
WALDO
(showman)
Let there be light!
35-year-old scientist Waldo Katz, now all grown up, as good looking as a fashion model, cooly struts into the room, wearing the obligatory white lab coat and horn rimmed glasses, commanding everyone’s attention.
WALDO (CONT’D)
(mocking with hands around his mouth)
Magnifying lenses in spaaaaace.
One of the suits is about to speak.
WALDO (CONT’D)
(dead serious)
Katz Space Solar. Powering the entire planet. Sustainable. Cheap. Safe.
SUIT 1
We love it. We want to buy it. We don’t even need to see…
WALDO
The greatest inventor of all time in action.
SUIT 1
Yes, the live demonstration. No need. Cancel it. We’ve seen your research, well as much as you’ve shared, and we want the whole thing.
WALDO
You can’t have the whole thing. As I mentioned. I am only selling a piece to help finance me building the damn thing!
SUIT 1
We are prepared to compensate you handsomely…for your…revolutionary device. Not double or triple. Ten times. A billion dollars.
WALDO
(beat)
And you will still call it Katz Space Solar?
SUIT 1
(beat)
Yes.
WALDO
Full payment upfront. And salary…a million dollars a year, benefits, expense account, blah blah…until we are fully operational. It’ll take me three years to get this thing built.
Suit 1 gives SUIT 2 a “it’s your turn” look.
SUIT 2
We will not be needing your services.
Waldo calmly picks up the remote control on the table and powers off the monitor with a click.
WALDO
As I mentioned to…him…
(refers to Suit 1)
Why do I have to repeat myself? Mr….?
SUIT 2
Evans. Derek Evans.
Waldo slowly paces back and forth.
WALDO
Mr. Evans, a piece becomes the whole thing becomes you are firing me. Only I…only I understand the technology! Only I…
EVANS
Our scientists are more than capable. We’ll have your research and your prototype.
WALDO
(mocking with hands around his mouth)
In spaaaaace.
EVANS
We’ll figure it out. Go do your next thing. Work on something else.
WALDO
You’re messing with my place in history. Waldo Katz saved the goddamn world!
EVANS
We just feel more comfortable…
(beat)
You get angry.
Waldo stares apoplectic, but realizes he can’t win. He tucks a strand of hair back behind his ear and starts laughing.
WALDO
You’re making me angry.
Waldo throws the remote at Evans, misses, and struts out the room still speaking, while Evans nonchalantly stands and tucks his chair underneath the table as Waldo’s voice fades…
WALDO (O.S.) (CONT’D)
I’m about to become fucking famous. Mr. Sunshine. Turn this mother fucking world upside down. Come into my laboratory? Try and tell me…
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Antonio Flores’ Characters Live!
What I learned from this:
It feels more like drawing than writing! I like it! Yet, cinematic language should prevail. We are still to abide by show-no-tell.
=========================
INT. A GLOOMY, SHABBY FITNESS ROOM (PARIS) – NIGHT
A treadmill’s control panel glows in the darkness like an old, dormant, otherworldly creature not to be disturbed.
SUPER: PARIS, 5:30 AM
Dressed in dark color skintight action-wear, the slim, athletic silhouette of a WOMAN climbs on the machine. She pours water on her head. Her strong yet delicate hand pushes the console start button.
Pictures on the wall show memories of PARISA NEDELEC career as cheerleader and coach. A frame reads: “Mom and Dad’s Masterpiece” — cursing her to spend a lifetime in the narrow world of physical beauty. Except that… she does’t go for any of that.
PARISA (V.O.)
(crooning)
Say we’re going far while I’m here,
stuck in the same old place.
She quickly wipes off the tears coming from…
HER CAPTIVATING EYES
that now focus on the console controls with expert attitude. Her fingers push the…
UP ARROWS
All digits roll up on the display, Distance. Speed. She sets her standards pretty high.
PARISA (V.O.)
(crooning)
Show me miles and miles.
Make me feel I’m reaching.
She clears off some more tears. A deep breath helps swallow the pain.
Wireless earphones in place, she drops her cellphone in the console’s deck. A sound…
YEEERK…
frees the loud cry of the flywheel begging for maintenance or, perhaps, it is the first guitar chord of an electronic song that sets the reluctant treadmill ship off on a fitness journey — with Parisa on the helm.
Her sneakers rhythmically pound on the band. She progressively builds up speed. Then slows down to add some Thai-boxing moves to her jogging.
Jab-jab. Block. Uppercut. Jab-jab. Grab-pull-knee-thrust. YEEERK…
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Antonio Flores.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by Antonio Flores.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 3 months ago by
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Nancy Kates Day 4 Characterizations
What I learned: I can be more dramatic with the way I introduce characters, and in this case, dramatic means funnier.
MARILYN
You have a better solution?
ZOE
No, but maybe we should consult someone. You know all the woo-woo stuff, not me. Isn’t there a Santeria person in the Mission?
MARILYN
Yeah, of course, I have a Santeria priestess on speed dial. What was I thinking? Don’t you remember? We can’t tell anyone, even a priestess. I guess one priestess was enough.
Zoe sighs.
ZOE
Let’s go. It can’t hurt. I guess we should keep all this crap. We can be the Wiccan lost and found department.
MARILYN
You take it. Our place has a lot more room in the garage.
This sinks in for Zoe: she’s going to Marilyn’s.
ZOE
Oh, fuck.
INT. SANTERIA SHOP, MISSION DISTRICT
The botanica is filled with candles, sacred oils, beads, shells, amulets, sacred objects for altars, different types of incense, and other religious objects. YOLANDA, 67, a Latinx grandmother wearing a colorful Mexican dress, stands behind the counter.
YOLANDA
Buenos dias, ladies. How can I help you?
Marilyn and Zoe look at each other.
MARILYN
Hi. We were wondering if you could do a really powerful cleansing? Things have gotten a little screwed up for us, as friends. We’re trying to find healing.
YOLANDA
Let’s see. Can I ask what the issue is?
Zoe and Marilyn look at each other, not knowing what to say.
ZOE
I’m sorry, we can’t talk about it. It’s just very very bad. Trust me.
Yolanda sighs.
Zoe and Marilyn look at each other, wondering if they’ve made a mistake coming in here.
YOLANDA
I’m going to need something more than that, in order to work with. I’m not sure you even want a ritual. You have to really want this for it to work.
ZOE
I promise, we’re up for this.
YOLANDA
I dunno. The serious people get the full Santeria ritual, four hours, two thousand. You have to kill a rooster.
Marilyn is shocked.
MARILYN
We can’t do that. No way. Either part.
YOLANDA
I guess you’re not serious, are you?
ZOE
We don’t kill animals, and we can’t shell out. Is there something more reasonable?
YOLANDA
You think the gods are gonna respect you for getting the bargain basement cleansing? Pathetic.
ZOE
You know, we’re kind of fragile right now. Can we just get on with it?
YOLANDA
Okay. Are you healthy?
YOLANDA
Marital difficulties?
Marilyn and Zoe look at each other with compassion. Yolanda is slightly confused.
YOLANDA
You’re not partners, right?
Zoe and Marilyn vigorously shake their heads.
YOLANDA
I might need more information about the difficulties.
MARILYN
I’m sorry, but we just met you. We each have a partner, and there are issues with both of them, thanks.
Marilyn leans in to whisper to Zoe.
MARILYN
(whispering)
What do we say?
ZOE
(whispering)
Don’t worry, just keep going. We don’t have to tell her what’s going on here.
YOLANDA
How are your diets? Are you eating too much tofu?
Zoe can’t even answer this.
MARILYN
We eat well. I eat too much pizza, with my kids. She doesn’t: her body is a temple. (Mine is more like a drive-through). She exercises all the time.
ZOE
Don’t say things like that!
YOLANDA
And is this problem you’re having just with each other, or with someone or something else?
YOLANDA
Mis queridas, you don’t seem to agree about any of this. That will make it harder for the magic to work.
TIME LAPSE
Yolanda assembles candles, incense, herbs, amulets and other objects. Zoe and Marilyn lie on cots, side by side, while Yolanda blesses Marilyn and Zoe in a cleansing ritual. She chants in undecipherable Spanish, and waves the various objects over their bodies. They’re still lying on their cots when she finishes.
YOLANDA
Okay, per favor, stay there for a few minutes, to let your bodies absorb the healing.
Marilyn is half asleep, but Zoe only rests for a quick second before sitting up.
ZOE
Thanks so much! What do we owe you?
YOLANDA
That’ll be $325, no tax. I prefer Venmo, unless you want to pay in crypto?
Zoe and Marilyn register shock on their faces.
YOLANDA
This is nothing. Like I said, a full Santeria cleansing would be two grand, but you were too cheap –or wussy–for the rooster sacrifice.
Zoe and Marilyn pause to imagine a rooster sacrifice. This is not a happy thought for them.
ZOE
Correct. Let’s keep the roosters alive!
Zoe pulls out her phone and pays.
YOLANDA
One more thing. I sense that the ancestors are not happy with the two of you. Maybe you need to do something to appease them? Visit their graves? Make a donation?
MARILYN
Gracias, Señora.
YOLANDA
A dios.
They leave.
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