-
Day 14 Assignments
Reply to post your assignment.
-
5 Replies
-
Cameron Martin’s Scary-As-Hell Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is…Outlining the action in this way is a really good way to get a mental picture before I start writing too much. It also keeps me on track for which emotions I’m trying to cultivate, so that I can keep the emotions closer to that of horror and less toward DOOM. Finally, this really allows me to look at elevating the different components to try and hit on something we haven’t seen yet, or make use of tropes in a way that can subvert expectations, should that be a goal. I can also block subsequent scare scenes to set up further questions and counter different comments my characters may make, such as below…
——————
End of Act 1 – Total Infestation
Suspense to Dread
Suspense: The Bunker is sealed with Sully and Isaiah caught on the outside. No way in.
Note: Sully is absolutely terrified. Isaiah isn’t scared at all.
Release: Isaiah reassures us that there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Suspense: Manager wakes up. Says he’s going to kill Sully.
Fear: Manager senses something hunting him.
Apprehension: Shuffling of feet. Screams. He’s not the only one to not make it back to the bunker.
Shock: A crash into a cabinet.
Release: It’s just Dr. Douglas.
Dread: Dr, Douglas doesn’t respond.
Horror: Dr. Douglas’ smile reveals a tear to his jaw bone.
Panic: Manager runs for it. Dr. Douglas gives chase on all fours.
Release: Manager finds a hiding spot.
Suspense: Will Dr. Douglas find him.
Fear: Something slimes on Manager
Hysteria: Manager runs for it…
Horror: Into Dr. Douglas and gets eaten. A slime trail leads back into the vents.
—————
INT. SPACE COLONY – BUNKER EXTERIOR – NIGHT
SULLY runs with a struggling ISAIAH in tow, down an empty corridor and up to the tightly sealed door of the bunker.
The look on his face says it all. Too late.
Sully, wanting to just drop Isaiah in a heap, sets the temperamental child down as gently as he can.
He presses against the door, looking for any seam, any way inside.
SULLY
No, no, no, no. Dammit. Gahhhh!
Sully punches the hanger door. A crack sounds off from his fist.
Sully doubles over in obvious pain.
SULLY
Fuck! Fuck!
He looks over at his son, enraged at both him for not coming along easily, as well as himself for taking the time to make those stupid ear muffs.
Isaiah looks back at his dad, tears welling up in his eyes.
ISAIAH
(clutching the muffs tight to his ears)
I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Sully works to calm himself, while looking in all directions. Adrenaline from the situation builds upon the adrenaline from fracturing his hand – how bad? He doesn’t know.
ISAIAH
I’m sorry.
SULLY
Listen.
ISAIAH
I’m sorry.
SULLY
Stop it! We have less than a minute…maybe. You’ve got to do as I say.
ISAIAH
I can help.
SULLY
Help me by doing exactly what I say.
ISAIAH
It’ll be okay, Dad.
Sully takes a deep breath, happy that his son seems to be taking this better than he is, before another wave of pain emirates from his hand.
Isaiah watches his dad wince.
BANG! Every other light goes out.
Sully and Isaiah JUMP! Sully’s eyes dart all over the place. Power reserve. It just got a lot darker.
ISAIAH
(taking his Dad’s hand)
I know what to do. They’re not that bad.
INT. MANAGER’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Sully’s MANAGER wakes up. A killer pain emanates from his jaw.
Slow to get up. What the hell happened?
It hits him. THE BUNKER. Sully knocked him out.
MANAGER
I swear, I’m going to see that son of a bitch shot for this.
If he makes it out.
The alarm is off. How long has it been out? The Manager stumbles forward out of his office.
INT. SPACE COLONY – HALLWAYS – CONT.
The Manager keeps a steady pace. Looking behind him. Above him. Every small corner. And then back again. It could come from anywhere.
He hears a scream down the hallway.
The Manager freezes. Has to keep moving, but something deeper tells him not to.
CRASH!
He jumps and looks behind him, uttering a minor cry.
The sound came from a filing cabinet…
And someone clinging to it.
He can’t make out who it is at first. The lights are out overhead. Something familiar catches his eye.
MANAGER
Dr. Douglas?
Dr. Douglas doesn’t respond.
He crawls his way down the cabinet, to his hands and feet.
The Manager takes a step back.
Dr. Douglas bear crawls forward. A stutter step. Into the light.
The Manager recognizes his former employee, and the smile carved into his cheeks, all the way to the jaw bone.
Manager runs for it.
Dr. Douglas crawls forward on hands and feet like a crocodile.
The Manager pulls cabinets behind him, not daring to look back…
Before bolting inside a room.
He slams the door…
And LOCKS it!
He climbs under a desk.
Dr. Douglas scratches at the door. Slams his body against it. Desperate to get at his prey.
After a few moments…silence. Dr. Douglas is gone.
Manager, clings to his knees. He’s safe. For now, he’s safe. Dr. Douglas isn’t going to —
DRIP. DRIP. DRIP.
Manager looks up and sees SOMETHING that TERRIFIES him to his core.
MANAGER
Oh god! No! No god! No!
He erupts from under the desk, flipping it over!
He turns the handle!
It’s locked!
His hands fumble with the lock…
Come on! Come on!
The lock unlatches!
Manager swings the door open! He’s getting awa—
WHAM!! Dr. Douglas tackles the Manager, ripping him to shreds. He pleads for mercy, but it does about as good as a zebra asking a lion to spare it.
His screams tell us his death is slow, painful, messy. But we don’t see it…
What we do see is the trail of slime or mucus leading to the air vent from where the Manager was hiding.
-
Eric Humble’s Scary-As-Hell Scene
What I learned: how to craft a scary as hell scene using a few simple techniques rather than agonize over the specifics of the scene. In the past, I’ve always agonized over horror scenes, trying to either intensify the violence or come up with something truly original and unique. It never occurred to me to just use a few simple techniques (which, thanks to this class, I now know) and structure them in escalating intensity and then simply let the emotions do the work. It has also been a huge breakthrough that using this process delivers what a reader and producer will be looking for in a scary as hell scene. I’m very satisfied with how this scene turned out and I’m really looking forward to writing the script. I think it’s going to be fun rather than agonizing as it has been in the past, and I’m sure I’m going to be satisfied with the quality of my writing using these techniques!
INT. ABANDONED SUBWAY PLATFORM – NIGHT
Three Black guys hanging out, swigging forties. Laughing raucously.
A White, preppy college kid stumbles down the stairs. He looks wasted and haggard, his designer party clothes sweaty and rumpled, his hair matted, eyes unfocused. He spots the guys. Hesitates a moment. Now, approaches.
Asks to buy drugs. He’s sweating, keeps looking over his shoulder.
The leader of the group decides to have a little fun with him. Asks him what drugs he wants, what quantity.
A trashcan farther along clatters on its side. But no one’s there. The kid tenses.
The gang members joke about the racoons down here. The gang leader plays coy…
But the kid is desperate, doesn’t care which drugs. Just something that hits you quick.
The leader then calls him to task: What makes you think we have drugs to sell? Just because we’re black? The kid looks lost, panicked.
He smells something rank. They all do. The kid tenses, takes a forty one of the members was drinking out of the guy’s hand and guzzles it.
The kid takes out money, throws it at the guys. Anyone! Drugs! Empties his wallet of cards and everything at their feet.
The guy gives him some drugs. The kid asks if any of them is already on something. Do they see anyone back up the steps? Or along the platform?
The smell is getting thicker – from the steps he has to go up.
INT. STAIRWAY – NIGHT
He goes up anyway. Smelling the smell…
And there’s a shuffling sound. A breathing sound, right beside him. Like someone breathing down his neck each of the last few steps.
EXT. STREET ABOVE – NIGHT
Pre-dawn. No one around, not even a parked car in sight. The buildings surrounding this area are black-windowed and condemned. The lights of downtown visible but blocks away.
The kid makes it to the street, looks around, sees nothing. Breathes in the air. No smell. Continues onward.
Then the drugs kick in. The world shimmers. Lights extend and trip out a bit. He laughs, giddy.
Suddenly, a big, obscured figure is right behind him –
–in a blur, it jabs a broken bottle into his throat. Blood sprays like a geyser. The kid hits the pavement. Broken glass jutting from his throat. He gags on blood, sputters, claws away…
…but the figure, obscured in the darkness, looms over him. Crouches over him. The kid convulses, scrabbles back toward the subway stairs…
…but the figure’s hands – grey fingers poking through tattered fingerless gloves – are on him, holding him fast. The figure’s face leans in close, almost as if to kiss the wound… or drink the blood like it was a water fountain…
In the silence of the dawn, the only sounds are the sputtering final gasps of the kid… and SLURPING.
-
Alfred’s Scary-As-Hell scene
What I learned doing this assignment is to focus on the emotions of the scene, plan them in order to naturally raise the stakes.
EXT. APARTMENT COMPLEX – LATER
Gabriel parks his car, gets out and looks at a notebook. He walks up to a building with a “7” on the side.
BUILDING 7 HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
He approaches door number “24”. KNOCKS.
No answer.
KNOCKS again.
Still no answer.
He turns to leave when the door creaks open.
INT. WILLIAMS APARTMENT
Gabriel enters the dark apartment.
He flicks on a light revealing—
KEVIN WILLAMS (50’s) sitting at the kitchen table. He’s catatonic, rocks back and forth…
KEVIN WILLIAMS: “(whispered)—deliver us from evil, deliver us from evil, deliver us from evil, deliver us from evil—“
GABRIEL: “Hello? Mister Williams?”
KEVIN WILLIAMS: “(getting louder) “—deliver us from evil, <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>deliver us from evil, <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>deliver us from evil<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>, <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>deliver us from evil<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>—“
Tears rush down his cheeks.
THUMP! Comes from the back. Gabriel turns to the noise, walks to it. Kevin stops talking. Eerie silence.
HALIMA’S ROOM
Gabriel stops at the closed door. Opens it slow. Reveals—
—Halima lies on the floor, convulsing.
He rushes to her side. Pulls out his cell phone. Shakes her.
GABRIEL: “Halima! Halima!”
They are near a wall length mirror on the closet door. He catches something out the corner of his eye in the mirror.
In the mirror is Gabriel and Halima and WHITE JESUS!
Pale skin, skeletal skinny, beard, red bleeding eyes. It’s mouth swings open to reveal a maw of jagged sharp teeth. It’s as if the Christian version of Jesus was interpreted by H. R. Giger.
Gabriel jumps back.
It’s not in the mirror. He glances around the room. Nothing. Stands. Nopes. Heads for the door when—
WHITE JESUS appears before him. Face to Face. It bares it’s mouth and hisses. Grab’s Gabriel. Gabriel passes out.
-
Scott Kaplan’s Scary-As-Hell-Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is … how valuable a “Horror Map” can be in outlining the sequence of scenes … I utilized prior lessons to write the “scene arc.” It’s probable that I will change the scene in the re-write, but I wanted to access a sequence that takes us from the end of End of Act 2, and ends during the Climax scene in Act 3. I am unsure if this works, but as writers we must think “outside the box.” A difficult endeavor for me …
____________
End of Act 2 – THE POINT OF NO RETURN – EXORCISM
EXT. CHURCH – NIGHT
Father Bob has already heard Stacy’s confession — that he is a reluctant member of the cult. As Stacy has been brutally executed earlier by Piper and Clen in the woods, the pastor listens to Max and Shwin. He agrees to perform an exorcism on the cult. Father Bob is successfully able to summon the spirits, attempting to ‘free’ them of being cursed and enslavened to perfrom the cult’s dirty deeds. He thinks the exorcism is successful, that the cult can now be taken out by the undead spirits; there is sense of anxiety. A sense of release, as Max and Shwin breathe a sigh of relief … just as Father Bob is spliced in half! They are in shock.
EXT. TOWN – MOMENTS LATER
As people attempt to escape the small town, they are scared. The fear of isolation engulfs men, women and children because they discover the roadblocks. They are under lockdown. the pursuit of their souls causes a sense of dread. Impending doom … they are trapped! Fog rises from the sewers; people disappear … Panic ensues …
INT. SHACK – SAME
Shwin confides to Max … he nods, then steps aside as … the front door of the abandoned shack blows off from the rising winds, as a tidal storm rollls in with the dense fog. She holds up her arms, light glows from her beautiful eyes. She shows her ancestors that they, the Marsapeaques, are the origianl settlers that were “buried alive” by builders whom destroyed them 154 years ago …
FLASHBACK …IMAGES of decaying flesh, as the Marsapeaques are blown up by greedy builders, for the purpose of taking over the land.
EXT. SHACK -SEMINOLE STREET – SAME
Seminole Street is a Native American Indian Burial Ground … it splits open, freeing the Native Americans … They rise up to kill the remaining members of the cult, who enslavened them for 154 years. The “undead spirits” can finally rest. Balance and equilibrium is restored in the small community. There is a release from the tension that has infested this town …
EXT. SEMINOLE STREET – DAWN
Max and Shwin awaken in an embrace. They kiss for the first time as … Shwin starts to fade, almost a ghost of her self–as she is pulled down–Max grabs her hand, as it slips through. She is pulled into the foggy abyss. Anguish.
-
This reply was modified 3 years ago by Scott Kaplan.
-
This reply was modified 3 years ago by Scott Kaplan.
-
This reply was modified 3 years ago by
-
Marc KOENIG’s Scary as Hell Scene!
What I’ve learned doing this assignment is to create horror situations in the right order, to increase the degree of terror gradually, and play yoyo with the audience’s emotions through the release breaks, before the final panic.
Opening scene: Discovery and release of the Element 119
Horror situation: A couple of young archeologists uncover an antique site known as «The Gates of Hell», where a mysterious parasite waits for a new host.
- Emotion sequence: From Anxiety to Panic
- Emotions in between: Surprise, Shock, Suspense, and Anguish.
- Anxiety: Elizabeth uncovers an antique cave where something terrible happened.
- Anxiety: A venomous centipede hides inside her glove.
- Anxiety: A shadow moves toward her.
- Surprise: Her boyfriend Paul stumbles and drags her into his fall.
- Anxiety: mysterious black needles react to their presence.
- Release: Paul makes an inelegant joke about the smell.
- Shock: A stone falls from the ceiling, almost breaking her skull.
- Suspense: The cave is about to crumble and crush them.
- Suspense: Elizabeth is going to be bit by the centipede.
- Panic: The cave collapses! She rushes out screaming.
- Anguish: Paul is still inside the cave when it crumbles.
- Release: Paul springs out of the hole at the very last moment.
- Shock: Several black needles imbed on their own into Paul’s skin.
Scene draft
INT. CAVE – DAY
It’s dark. Muffled thumps sound against the rock. Debris suddenly crumbles and sun rays pierce through the darkness. The face of a woman in her late twenties, ELIZABETH, shows in the hole.
ELIZABETH
Yuk! Stinks like hell, in there!
Holding a storm lantern, Elizabeth crawls into the cave.
ELIZABETH
Holy shit…
A skeleton is tied up with chains to a granite throne in the middle of the cave. The skull is crushed. The jaw is broken. Human skulls and bones are spread all around.
She puts the lamp on a stone stand and removes her gloves. As she buries them in her pocket, one falls to the ground. She draws a camera and takes pictures, seemingly not noticing a shadow moving behind her. She lowers the camera and frowns.
ELIZABETH
What the hell is this?
Unseen by her, a centipede crawls past her feet and hides inside her glove lying on the ground behind her.
As Elizabeth reaches out to the skeleton, tiny metallic spines raise on its ribs with a faint rattling. They point at her hand, close to her skin, and — CLASH! Two hands hit down her shoulders and she yells as they drop her to the ground!
PAUL (O.S.)
Dammit!
A handsome man in his thirties, PAUL, sitting on the ground, wipes the dust from his clothes. Elizabeth jumps up, upset.
ELIZABETH
You think you’re funny?
PAUL
Sorry, baby! I tripped over that fucking slab. C’mon, help me.
They blow the dust off a flat surface and reveal an antique alphabet engraved in the stone and a bas-relief of an egg surrounded by dozens of arrows pointing out.
ELIZABETH
That’s Cuneiform.
Elizabeth puts on a glove. She pats her pocket and frowns. Paul takes a drink from a thermos flask and points at a specific series of symbols repeated several times.
PAUL
Is it what I think it is?
ELIZABETH
Yeah. The original Gates of Hell.
Paul lets out a yell of joy and kisses her neck.
ELIZABETH
Don’t get excited. There’s something else I want you to see.
Paul follows Elizabeth to the skeleton. He turns on a flashlight and lightens the chains around the wrists and ankles of the skeleton and the broken jaw and skull.
PAUL
Let’s rule out suicide.
ELIZABETH
What’s that black bulb, here?
Paul and Elizabeth move closer. A handful of sand silently pours from the ceiling behind them. Elizabeth sniffles.
PAUL
A distasteful antique boil.
ELIZABETH
It… smells, no?
PAUL
Oops. Sorry, honey. Exotic food…
ELIZABETH
Can’t you be serious for just one minute?
Bigger gravels fall and hit Elizabeth’s glove. She looks back and spots it. She moves to pick it up but Paul grabs her arm.
PAUL
Look at that. It’s amazing.
Paul points at the spines. They shine and shiver with a faint rattling, following Paul’s finger as he moves it, and — CRASH! A huge stone crushes a skull, startling them. Paul points his torch to the stone. Then up to the ceiling. Big crevices run through it. More sand and gravels fall again.
PAUL
Oh. That sucks.
ELIZABETH
We’d better leave.
Elizabeth picks up her glove. She moves her hand to its opening and — THUMP! A rock falls, barely missing her. She yells and drops her glove. The centipede runs out of it.
ELIZABETH
The cave is collapsing!
Paul reaches out to the skeleton. All spines bristle at once.
PAUL
RUN!
Elizabeth rushes to the hole. THUMP! THUMP! Two more stones hit the ground — THUD! One hits Elizabeth’s head.
EXT. ROCKY AREA – DAY
Elizabeth emerges from the hole and crawls out. She turns around and shouts through the hole while stones keep falling.
ELIZABETH
Paul? PAUL!
With a formidable rumble, the hole ejects a geyser of dust. Paul springs out in the same fraction of a second and drags Elizabeth into his fall. They lie on the ground, panting.
PAUL
Wow! Touch down!
Paul sits down, still holding his thermos flask. Elizabeth’s forehead is cut. Blood runs down her face. Paul takes a handkerchief and gently presses it on the wound.
ELIZABETH
I’m fine. Just a little dizzy.
Elizabeth stares at Paul and frowns. A few shiny black needles are stuck into Paul’s cheek, eyelids and forehead.
ELIZABETH
What’s on your face?
All needles suddenly imbed inside his skin. Paul winces.
PAUL
Ouch!
He rubs his face and gazes at his arm. Three small black needles instantly sink into his skin.
ELIZABETH
What was that?
Paul scratches his arm. There’s no sign of stings.
PAUL
Dunno. A splinter or something.
A loud cracking and a new rumble startle them. The centipede crawls out from the hole blocked with stones.
ELIZABETH
The Gates of Hell. Crushed and buried. Fuck.
Paul shakes his thermos flask which makes a tinkling sound.
PAUL
At least, I took a souvenir.
Log in to reply.