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Day 7 Assignments
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DAY 7 Dialogue Cover Ups
Lisa’s Cover-ups
What I learned is laying out the possibilities for big character questions it allows you to pick the best response.
Short scene with cover up
INT-BEDROOM-NIGHT
Ruthie and Janie are in twin beds. Mary on the end of Janie’s bed concludes her nighttime reading.
MARY
And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Ruthie yawns but is still awake. Janie has drifted off to sleep. Mary kisses Janie on the head and goes over to Ruthie to do the same.
RUTHIE
Mom, will Aunt Tilly marry daddy?
MARY (taken aback)
Oh!
Mary sits on Ruthie’s bed.
MARY (CONTINUED)
I don’t think so, baby. (pause) Your Aunt Tilly likes to fix people.
RUTHIE
Is daddy broken?
HOW WILL MARY ANSWER?
– Silence: Mary says goodnight and leaves without talking about daddy.
– Action incongruent with words. Sweetly kisses Ruthie on the head and covers her up while saying she’d like to kill daddy for what he’s done to this family.
– Change subject. We have a big day tomorrow!
– Question them. Do you think daddy’s broken?
– Attack back. No! Why would you say that?
– Complement them. You’re so intuitive and smart.
– Threaten them Don’t you ever say that again!
– Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not. Daddy’s not broken, but he is lost.
– Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a
different direction. Daddy is coming on Christmas day!
– Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event. He sure is! Ever since he came back from the war, he’s spiraled out of control!
– Distraction. Are you excited about dressing up as a Bailey kid for the festival?
– Make a joke of it. He’s not made of glass!
– Continue the conversation as if nothing happened. He is fine. No worries.Short scene with cover up – COMPLETED
INT-BEDROOM-NIGHT
Ruthie and Janie are in twin beds. Mary on the end of Janie’s bed concludes her nighttime reading.
MARY
And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Ruthie yawns but is still awake. Janie has drifted off to sleep. Mary kisses Janie on the head and goes over to Ruthie to do the same.
RUTHIE
Mom, will Aunt Tilly marry daddy?
MARY (taken aback)
Oh!
Mary sits on Ruthie’s bed.
MARY (CONTINUED)
I don’t think so, baby. (pause) Your Aunt Tilly likes to fix people.
RUTHIE
Is daddy broken?
MARY
Daddy’s not broken, but he is lost. Aunt Tilly is trying to help him… (pausing)
RUTHIE
…Find his way home?
MARY
We shall see. Good night, my sweet girl.
Mary kisses Ruthie on the head. Ruthie closes her eyes. Mary goes to the bedroom door. She pauses and looks back at the girls as she turns out the lights and pulls the door ajar.
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June Fortunato’s cover ups Day 7 of Dialogue
What I learned: Interesting solutions to draw from when I write the scene.
Assignment
Kim is at the nurse’s station, looking for Suzy to learn news of Roy.
1) – Silence: Person doesn’t answer when they should.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
Kim wanders away.
2) – Action incongruent with words.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
Kim walks the hall, peeking into every room. “no one in particular”
3)- Change subject.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
I got a fierce hangnail. I just can’t get rid of it.
4)- Question them.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
Did you see this morning’s sunrise? I was out there. It was magnificent.
5)- Attack back.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
Why would I be looking for someone?
6)- Complement them.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
You look especially sharp today, Suzy.
7)- Threaten them
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
I don’t think I have to answer you. Who do you think you are?
8)- Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
Well, you know, I was here last week and miss this place terribly.
9)- Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a different direction.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
Tonight is my favorite tv show, and I know you like it, too. I’ve seen you watch it.
10)- Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
Everything is fine! I am strong! Why’re you asking?
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11)- Distraction.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
Wow, is that Oma over there? I think I see her at her door.
12)- Make a joke of it.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
Everybody’s always looking for the same thing. Love.
13)- Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.
Suzy to Kim: Who’re you looking for?
And it is a really good morning. I sure feel rested today.
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Anna Harper’s Dialogue Cover-Ups
Day 7
What I learned from this assignment. Mostly I was able to analyze the potential for this dramatic skill and apply it.
SITUATION
The men from the village are meeting to discuss the money they will be paid for working for SIS. Stu is challenged over his treatment of his wife Maggie.
STU
Speaking flippantly
Thank God the women are out of town. At least I don’t have to worry about Maggie tonight. Perhaps the money will get me out of the dog house. (MAKING A JOKE OUT OF IT.)
ANTHONY
You don’t think you are too late, eh, mate? Maybe let things slip a bit too far with our Maggie? (QUESTIONING) Word on the village High Street is she has been depressed of late, not herself. Tired like, properly worn out.
STU
What do you mean, Anthony? ATTACK BACK
ANTHONY
Saw her car parked up, sort of hidden in the bushes on the back road of the hotel. Thought that might be a bit odd. So, I walked up to the Hotel where some of the Art Workshop people were still in the car park nattering. One of those women said she thought maybe she had left with Mick, the instructor. Of course, she could have just been gossiping, as people do here. Maybe nothing. But I don’t think you’re entirely safe. She’s in London this week, right? I did some asking around. Mick has gone to London to teach another workshop is all I am saying. Probably nothing to concern yourself over. (CONFIRM SOMETHING THEY ALREADY BELIEVE, TRUE OR NOT)
DISSOLVE TO
INT. ROYAL SWANS PUB/NIGHT
STU, ANTHONY, AND JAMES are sitting at a table in the corner.
STU
I’m worried about Maggie. I just need to know if she is alright. I’ve been calling her and no response.
Thanks, James, you can put those down here,
JAMES
Are we meeting at Bunny’s again tonight, Stu?
CLEO
Enters from the back of the bar, and walks over to the table. CLEO has been listening to the conversation surreptitiously, now speaking in an aggravated tone of voice
CLEO CONTD
What’s all this then? Thought you were meeting at Stu’s yesterday? Why are you all meeting at Bunny’s? James said ‘again.’ What are you lot doing up there? (ATTACK/QUESTION)
STU
speaks in a phony monotone, fidgeting in his seat
STU.CONTD
Just a little planning for an informational dinner, for the agriculturally connected. Nothing really. Can you please give me a straight answer? Is Maggie alright? Is she with Homayoon? (QUESTION, CHANGE THE SUBJECT)
There is some gossip going around that she is with the art workshop instructor. Of course, I don’t believe it. I hope she is safe and sound at Homayoon’s place. (CONFIRMING SOMETHING BELIEVED WHETHER OR NOT IT IS TRUE)
CLEO
Why don’t you give her some space, leave her alone? Work out whatever it is when she comes back? (ATTACK BACK)
STU
No, I am feeling very anxious and distracted. I must talk to her. Do you have Homayoon’s number? (ATTACK/QUESTION)
CLEO
speaking louder
CLEO CONTD
No, and like I said, I wouldn’t give it to you if I had. Give her some space and a bit of a rest, eh? I’ve got to get home. (ATTACK BACK) And I don’t believe for one minute you are meeting, what three or four times now? To plan an event? None of you could pull off an event if your lives depended on it.
EXIT CLEO
ANTHONY
Wow, she’s in a bloody mood. Better stay out of Cleo’s way. I know how to get the number. Go to the Manor House, and find the master guest list, it should be on there. If you think it’s the right move, that is?
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by anna harper.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
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Cameron Martin’s Cover-ups
What I learned doing this assignment is…how to REALLY do a rewrite. I opted to apply this while reworking the entire Jude plot. I did something similar with the Markus and Apollo plot a couple of modules back. About half of the Jude plot was written when we first started writing scenes, and some of the dialogue either doesn’t work because certain plot points were altered, or they never worked to begin with. Below are just the changes/experimentations with one of the pages, along with the final decision. It’s a more action intensive scene, but the short bursts of dialogue could and should give a lot more character, background, and nuance to the relationship involved, rather than your run-of-the-mill action dialogue. The other thing that helps when you run through all of the different options is you come up with lines that may not work right now, but will have a major impact just a couple of lines later and bring much more meaning to the story than the action itself.
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Changes to the following line…
ISAIAH
(wiping the thinner out of his eyes)
STOP! Don’t hurt them!
– Silence: Person doesn’t answer when they should.
Isaiah lets the water run over his eyes, washing the tears away with the thinner.
– Action incongruent with words.
Isaiah hits himself.
ISAIAH
STOP! Stop hurting them!
Sully tries to hold Isaiah back from hitting himself.
– Change subject.
ISAIAH
Mom would’ve listened to me! Mom would’ve taken better care of me!
– Question them.
ISAIAH
Is this what mom would’ve done!?
ISAIAH
Why do you always push me down!? or push me away!? Why can’t you accept me for who I am!?
– Attack back.
ISAIAH
I want to be blind, so I never have to look at you again!
– Complement them.
ISAIAH
You’re so good at ruining everything!
– Threaten them
ISAIAH
I’m going to feed you to them!
– Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.
ISAIAH
I’m just a pest to you! Just like THEM!
– Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a
different direction.
ISAIAH
Look out! They’re right behind you!
ISAIAH
The lady can’t hold her own without you!
– Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.
Isaiah starts laughing.
– Distraction.
ISAIAH
Let me up! I can’t breathe!
– Make a joke of it.
ISAIAH
You’ll never take me alive!
ISAIAH
You missed a spot!
– Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.
ISAIAH
They don’t like bleach! Use the bleach!
Changes to the following line…
SULLY
What the f— What are you talking about!? They’re monsters!
– Silence: Person doesn’t answer when they should.
Sully keeps quiet, allowing the words to bite while focussing on washing the thinner from his son’s eyes.
– Action incongruent with words.
SULLY
(holding his son’s eyes under the running water)
Believe it or not, I’m trying to save you. The least you could do is make it easy!
– Change subject.
SULLY
You could’ve been obsessed with dinosaurs, historical figures. Something dead!
– Question them.
SULLY
Of all the things for a little boy to be obsessed with, why alien parasites responsible for KILLING YOUR OWN MOTHER!?
– Attack back.
SULLY
If I’d have just pulled you out from under that bed, and dragged you by the ankle to the bunker, then we wouldn’t be in this mess!
– Complement them.
SULLY
Great job with the thinner! Maybe a little heads up before you go running headlong to your own death?
– Threaten them
SULLY
If you don’t stop struggling, I’ll…I’ll…Screw it! Neither the thinner or the worms will save you from what I’ll do to you!
– Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.
SULLY
You’re right! I’m nothing like you mother! But I’m the best you’ve got! Now hold still!
– Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a
different direction.
SULLY
How long!? How long have you been “experimenting” with that THING!?
– Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.
SULLY
(to Jude)
Hey, lady! How about a trade?
– Distraction.
Sully takes the earmuffs crafted from his wife’s headband off of Isaiah’s head and holds onto it.
SULLY
How about I keep this for a while? Someone has to keep her memory alive.
– Make a joke of it.
SULLY
First overly complicated machines, now alien worms. What’s next? All left handed people in history?!
– Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.
SULLY
We have to get the thinner out of your eyes or you’ll go blind!
Changes to the following line…
ISAIAH
NO THEY’RE NOT!
– Silence: Person doesn’t answer when they should.
Isaiah lays limp.
Sully pulls him up, making sure he’s still breathing…
And finds his son exhausted and racked in tears, overwhelmed with emotion coming from so many different directions, it’s impossible to discern what exactly Isaiah’s crying over anymore.
– Action incongruent with words.
Isaiah laughter grows into a hysterical frenzy. He looks mad.
– Change subject.
ISAIAH
You always do this! You never care about the same things I care about!
– Question them.
ISAIAH
If I’m so terrible, why did you pick me and let mom die!?
– Attack back.
ISAIAH
I’m going to become one of them, so I can gobble you up!
– Complement them.
ISAIAH
I can’t wait to be a dad, just like you, so that I can push my son around and tell him what to like!
– Threaten them
ISAIAH
If you don’t let me go, I’m going to use that STUPID BAT on YOU!
– Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.
ISAIAH
If you would’ve left me behind, you would be so much happier and safe inside that STUPID BUNKER!
– Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a
different direction.
ISAIAH
Does this mean I’m grounded again? Or do I deserve the belt?
– Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.
ISAIAH
(singing)
I’m a little monster, short and—
– Distraction.
ISAIAH
That lady’s turning into one of them!
– Make a joke of it.
ISAIAH
Dad of the year goes to…!
– Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.
ISAIAH
If we don’t use the bleach now, it’ll be too late!
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FINAL OPTION
Sully picks up his screaming child and throws his bat at the worms…
While running back into the shop.
The worms are hesitant to pursue them over the puddle of thinner…
Giving Jude enough time to reload.
She FIRES again.
ISAIAH
(wiping the thinner out of his eyes)
You’ll never take me alive!
Meanwhile, Sully holds his son under the shop’s sink faucet, spraying water full blast into his son’s eyes to wash the thinner out.
SULLY
You could’ve been obsessed with dinosaurs or left handed historical figures. Something that can’t kill us. Something DEAD!
ISAIAH
Mom would’ve listened to me! I’m just a pest to you! Just like THEM!
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DEV ROSS – DAY 7 – DIALOGUE COVER UPS
What I learned is that subtext can misdirect in such a way to infuriate/incite the opposite character – all while giving the audience more to chew on. It really ignites a scene and deepens character.
INT. CLAY’S BEDROOM – NIGHT – CONTINOUS
Clay yanks Hannah into the bedroom, slams the door so hard, the wardrobe mirror hung on the back of it shatters.
Hannah stands over the shattered pieces, her dozens of reflections staring back at her.
CLAY
How could you be so stupid! You want another cross burnt on our lawn?
CHANGES THE SUBJECT
HANNAH
Oh my. In all this I forgot about dinner. Did you get any?
She doesn’t answer but moves to closet, hangs up her coat.
HANNAH
I could make you a grilled cheese. You know how you love them.
He jerks her back to him.
CLAY
Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve have come for you.
QUESTION HIM.
HANNAH
I did call you. Busy day?
She moves past him.
CLAY
Where you going?
MISDIRECTION
HANNAH
To get a broom and dustbin. Unless you want to step on broken glass?
CLAY
Our neighbors could’ve seen you!
MAKE A JOKE
HANNAH
Then they pay more attention to me than you do.
Clay whacks her hard across the face.
Hannah almost crumbles – but stands back up to face him.
INAPPROPRIATE REACTION TO EMOTIONAL SITUATION
She rubs her jaw.
HANNAH
Huh. You really need to go back to the gym.
Clay paces, trying to release what’s building up before he does real damage.
CLAY
Marrying you when you were so young was a mistake. I’ve sheltered you far too much! You don’t know how to take care of yourself!
Hannah, as if in a dream, picks up the hemline of her nurse’s uniform up past her groin, sticks her hand down the front of her panties and rubs.
DISTRACTION
HANNAH
Yes, I can. A girl who marries an older fella learns to take care of herself. Ummm…
Clay throws her to the ground, straddles her.
CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED.
HANNAH
Oooh. Foreplay.
Clay’s face explodes in rage. He grabs her by the hair and flattens her face with punch after punch after punch…
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Day 7: (Advanced Dialogue) – Anita’s Cover-ups
What I learned: Good brainstorming exercise. Gave me options, while still having Danica stay in character.
Danica has just lost a case in an adjoining courtroom to where Cyrus is a presiding judge (unbeknownst to Dani). They haven’t seen each other in about 10 years.
I chose the “attack back” option for Dani’s response, as seen below.
Other options follow here:
SILENCE: She ignores Cyrus like he isn’t there and keeps on walking
ACTION INCONGRUENT WITH WORDS: So glad to see you again (as she tugs at her collar / wipes the sweat pooling on her upper lip)
CHANGE SUBJECT: We’re late for our hearing
QUESTION THEM: Why aren’t you in chambers?
ATTACK BACK: So it’s taken you 10 long years to get to the bench I see.
COMPLEMENT THEM: It’s so nice to see you!
THREATEN THEM: If you say another word to me – ever – I’ll cry rape!
CONFIRM SOMETHING THEY BELIEVE: Wow – you really deserve this judgeship don’t you?
MISDIRECTION: I wouldn’t have recognized you without your robes.
INAPPROPRIATE REACTION: She laughs, delighted to see him.
DISTRACTION: She looks at her watch / or drops her briefcase
MAKE A JOKE OF IT: Fancy meeting you here!
CONTINUE AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED: Long time, no see – we’ll catch up later.
INT. COURTHOUSE HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
They round a corner and just miss slamming into Cyrus Kilner!
DANICA
(flummoxed)
Cyrus!
He recovers first. Smarmy as ever.
CYRUS
Danica. Brahms, isn’t it? Or are you married now?
DANICA
You’re the married one Cyrus. Or have you forgotten that again?
She brushes past pulling her teenaged client along with her – while Cyrus gapes at her retreating back.
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KATES COVERUPS
What I learned doing this assignment is that each potential the choice reveals something about the character speaking and then opens the door to the one who has to respond. It also shows when the writer is in the way of the characters as I try and fit a format. (which is ok to know and experience.)
Background. The audience knows that Darrogh is out to destroy this community as a way to punish Luciana. )We doin’t know why yet.)
INT.DARROGH’S HOUSE – BREAKFAST TABLE. MORNIN
After a difficult conversation the night before, when Darrogh lost his temper with Nia and she stormed out, Darrogh and Nias are having breakfast. There has been very little in the way of conversation thus far.
DARROGH
Nia, I know that you were upset last night. I may have been a bit – unkind.
NIA
Just a bit.
DARROGH
I have been under some stress. The land deal. Nia, it means so much to me.
NIA
As indeed the land means a lot to many people. Not just you.
DARROGH
What would you have me do Nia?
NIA
You could just let people live there! You don’t need the money! What are you trying to prove?
EXAMPLES OF EACH COVER UP STYLE
– Silence: Person doesn’t answer when they should.
Darrogh drinks his coffee.
– Action incongruent with words.
Throws his hands up in a surrender gesture and says “It means more to me than anyone.’
– Change subject.
I’m going to make fresh coffee. Want Some?
– Question them.
What do you care so much?
– Attack back.
And what the hell are YOU trying to prove?
– Complement them.
You’re so beautiful when you’re riled up like this.
– Threaten them
You’d better mind your own business – daughter or not.
– Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not.
I just want to wreck peoples lives for the hell of it.
– Misdirection: Do or say something that sends their mind in a different direction.
Have you had a close look at the land for yourself?
– Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event.
Darrogh laughs paternally, and says ’Nia you’re unique!
– Distraction.
I’m taking a drive to the coast later, want to come?
– Make a joke of it.
Gotta prove I’m ‘The Man’ to my little girl after all these years.
– Continue the conversation as if nothing happened.
It’s hard to say isn’t it, what any of us want.
COMPLETE THE SCENE WITH THIS ONE:
DARROGH
Nia, I know that you were upset last night. I may have been a bit – unkind.
NIA
Just a bit.
DARROGH
I have been under some stress. The land deal. Nia, it means so much to me.
NIA
As indeed the land means a lot to many people. Not just you.
DARROGH
What would you have me do Nia?
NIA
You could just let people live there! You don’t need the money! What are you trying to prove?
DARROGH
I just want to wreck peoples lives for the hell of it.
Nia stands, her coffee-cup in hand
NIA
If I thought that I wouldn’t still be here. One day you’ll tell me. There has to be a reason. You’re not just mean.
She looks squarely at him, he meets her gaze silently.
Nia leaves the room.
Darrogh goes to the window and looks out, his face a mask of determination and resistance.
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<div>Matthew Frendo’s Cover-ups
</div>WHAT I LEARNED: I learned some awesome methods to cover up subtext and create interesting dialogue. This will make my scripts more interesting and intriguing.
INT. CLOWN CAR – NIGHT
CRASH! The clown car falls to the ground in a heap.
Kristen and Jocelyn just sit there, breathing heavy.
KRISTEN
Why’d the monster leave?
Jocelyn doesn’t answer.
KRISTEN
Where’d the monster go?
Kristen sees Jocelyn’s hand is shaking.
KRISTEN
Wait. Are you actually scared? The big bad punk rocker?
Jocelyn forces her hand to keep still.
JOCELYN
Well, look who decided to grow some balls all of a sudden! Everyone watch for Miss Badass Christian who suddenly isn’t begging to be saved anymore!
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PS81 – Dana’s Cover-ups
What I learned Doing This Assignment.
Using a cover-up method to hide a character’s emotions creates empathy and depth for the character and draws the audience into the story.
METHOD OF COVER UP:
Silence – Ellen falters, not wanting to disappoint her family. She says nothing, biting her lip.
Action Incongruent with Words – “Not only did I get the job, he gave me a raise.” Ellen throws her phone against the wall.
Change Subject – “Why don’t we order pizza tonight for dinner?”
Question Them – “Did the girls remember their homework?”
Attack Back – “I thought we agreed not to use Uber anymore.”
Compliment Them – “I bet you girls look cute in your new outfits today.”
Threaten Them – “You girls better have your homework done by the time I get home today.”
Confirm Something True/Not True – “Yes. He offered me the job.”
Misdirection – “Are we going to grandma’s house this weekend?”
Inappropriate Reaction – “Do I call you in the middle of your work and interrupt you?”
Distraction – “If you don’t have your car, will you still be able to pick them up after school?”
Make a Joke – “You guys really like getting into my business, don’t you?”
Continue if Nothing Happened – “Pete hasn’t said anything to me yet. You’ll find out as soon as I know something.”
SETUP
Ellen has been told by the station manager that the station is not going to pick up the option on her contract. And she only has two weeks left.
SCENE:
INT. ON AIR STUDIO – DAY
Ellen settles in at the microphone. She fidgets with her chair, adjusting the height up and puts on her headphones.
INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
Claire, headset on, getting ready — adjusting the sound board, checking the caller screen.
CLAIRE
Ellen? You want to give me a sound check?ELLEN
(into microphone)
This is the Dr. Ellen Show on KCSF, thirteen-sixty AM, San Francisco.Claire holds up the okay sign.
INT. ON AIR STUDIO – CONTINUOUS
Ellen’s cell phone, face-up on the table, BUZZES. The screen reads ROGER, her husband.
Ellen stares at the phone, hesitating to answer. She looks up at Claire.
ELLEN
It’s Roger.CLAIRE
You’ve only got two minutes.Ellen answers the call, putting on speaker. The sound is loud and airy, lots of road noise. Roger is almost yelling.
ELLEN
Hi, Honey.ROGER
Hi, Babe. Hold on.
(to someone else)
Say hello to Mommy.SAMANTHA
Hi, Mommy. Love you.MACKENZIE
Love you, Mommy.ELLEN
Where are you guys?ROGER
We’re on the way to the girls’ school. I had to take Uber. My car wouldn’t start again. Alternator. Generator. Who knows? I called the school and told them they’d be late.
(to driver)
No. Wait. You just missed the turn. We’re going to the school first.
(back to Ellen)
The girls wanted to call and find out… So? What did Pete say? Did you get it?Ellen falters, not wanting to disappoint her family.
ELLEN
Yes. He offered me the job.CHEERING on the other end.
ROGER
Oh, babe! That’s great! We knew you could do it. Look! Let’s celebrate tonight. Dinner as Seven Hills? How about it, girls? Does that sound good?SAMANTHA
I want pizza.MACKENZIE
Yeah. Pizza.ROGER
Looks like pizza, babe.ELLEN
Pizza is it.
(beat)
I have to do my show now.ROGER
Okay, babe. I’m proud of you. Love you. Say goodbye.SAMANTHA
Bye, Mommy. Love you.MACKENZIE
Love you, Mommy.ELLEN
Love you, too. See you tonight.Ellen hangs up with a heavy heart. She looks to Claire.
CLAIRE
They’ll understand.
(looks at the time.)
Fifteen seconds. -
Day 7 – Dialogue Cover-Ups – Assignment
Mike O – Cover-Ups
I learned doing this is how invaluable for rewrites when you need/want/should give your character an edge, some ‘twist’ that draws the reader and/or audience into identifying with that person.
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Scene: Richard (antagonist) is throwing a party at the gallery without telling Brooklyn (protagonist) and the new owner. He has invited Tarek (love interest) and Tarek’s old girl friend, Beth, while pretending to not know Brooklyn and Tarek are an item.
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PAN AWAY FROM THE CROWD, across the room to Tarek standing at the front door. He catches Brooklyn’s eye and mouths: hello. He starts across the room, Beth intercepts him, hands him a glass of champagne.
BETH “I’m really glad you’re here.”
Brooklyn walks up as Beth asks:
BETH “You free tomorrow night for dinner? Pot roast, your favorite.”
Richard arrives (flute filled with blood-colored champagne) says with mock gayety.
RICHARD “Beth, you look ravishing, my dear. Have you met Brooklyn?
BETH “No, I haven’t.(extends hand) Welcome to Wintergreen.”
RICHARD (turns to Tarek) “Have you met Brooklyn?”
Beth looks up at Tarek, slips her arm around him.
BETH “She has Joshua’s eyes, don’t you think, hon?”
TAREK (visibly uncomfortable) “Uh-huh.”
RICHARD “Don’t you two make a cute couple. (turns to Brooklyn)Beth has purchased a couple of pieces from us in the past. Got a real head for talent, isn’t afraid to go after what catches her eye.”
BROOKLYN (body blow) “What do you prefer: acrylics, colored pencil, oil or water color?
BETH “Last painting I bought was a Jean Shelton.
RICHARD (interjects) “It was indeed. Mourning Doves Mating, evocative piece. (re: Brooklyn)She is a fabulous water-color artist, hales from Montana. Great gal. Been with us five years come next month.”
Brooklyn turns to someone waving hello and acknowledges the woman with a head nod.
BROOKLYN “Beth, it was a pleasure. I should meet and greet the other patrons.
RICHARD “Mingle, darling.(shooing hand gesture) Get to know our clients. Your father was a regular chatty Kathy.”
Furious, Brooklyn walks off.
CAMERA HOLDS on Richard’s smirk as he watches Brookyn leave. He SIPS the blood-colored champagne, says in parting to Beth and Tarek,
RICHARD “I’ll leave you two crazy love birds alone.”
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[1] Silence. Brooklyn listens to Beth, doesn’t ask about her preferences in paintings.
[2] Action incongruent with words. Brooklyn turns to Richard and says, “Great party.” Leans in, whispers: “Red is also the color of blood, you Judas.” Turns and walks off.
[3] Change subject. Brooklyn, “I love seascapes done in water-colors. The translucence is best captured using water colors.”
[4] Question them. Brooklyn, “So, Beth, how long have you been going out with Tarek?”
[5] Attack back. Brooklyn, “You two enjoy. I’ve got to meet and greet. Saw someone I would like to get to know better.”
[6] Complement them. Brooklyn, “I have to agree with Richard; you two make a darling couple.”
[7] Threaten them. Brooklyn, “Richard, a word if you please.”
[8] Confirm something they already believe whether it’s true or not. Brooklyn, “Dating, isn’t it such fun.”
[9] Misdirection. Brooklyn, “I’ve a client in Chicago who is a genius with water colors. Give me your email address, I’ll send you some of his work.”
[10] Inappropriate reaction to an emotional event. Brooklyn begins humming, then sings the verse: “He’s making a list and he’s checking it twice, he’s going to find out who’s naughty or nice.” Brooklyn walks off waving her hands as if conducting an orchestra.
[11] Distraction. Brooklyn, “Is Alan here? I promised him a drink. He is going to give me a guided tour of your lovely little town.”
[12] Make a joke of it. Brooklyn, “Pot roast, you say. I’ve a great slow roasted recipe. Takes hours, give you love birds plenty of time to (smiles) you know…”
[13] Continue the conversation as if nothing happened. Brooklyn,“Meet and greet, name of the game. I’ll catch up with you guys later.”
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