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Day 5 Assignments
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Matthew Frendo’s Anticipatory Dialogue
WHAT I LEARNED: I learned how to use anticipatory dialogue to a higher degree. This will make my scripts more engaging to a reader and audience.
I believe I got all of them in here. And that was without the protagonist being in the scene.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – NIGHT
The Host walks out to thunderous applause.
He waves at the crowd, kissing babies and posing for quick selfies on the way.
He gets to the stage and does a little dance, getting them hyped up.
HOST
Welcome ladies and gentlemen to this year’s hunt!
They all cheer louder.
HOST
My prediction is that in, oh–
(checks watch)
–ten minutes or so, we will start what’s certain to be the bloodiest, the most vicious and, hell, the most fun show in the history of the hunts!
They cheer even louder. He walks patiently on the stage.
HOST
Thirty years ago, we started these hunts as a way to give peace. And they have worked. By sacrificing the worst of our society in such a grand and gruesome manner, the Gods of our new world–
He motions to a wall, with the heads of tech leaders on it.
HOST
–found a way to give the rest of us peace. People no longer are scared to walk down the street at night or go to a bad neighborhood. Once we gave them our privacy and let them record everything we do, we made our lives safer. We made our world safer. By sacrificing our individual selves, we made a better tomorrow together.
They all cheer loudly.
HOST
Let’s look at this year’s arena!
EXT. ABANDONED CIRCUS – NIGHT
They pan over an old, abandoned circus.
HOST
This is where our players will meet their greatest fears. Are there weapons stashed they can use? Perhaps. And if history is any indication, they’ll need to find them quick to stay alive. Is there any way out? Not a chance in hell.
INT. AUDIENCE STAGE – NIGHT
The Host talks to the crowd again.
HOST
Of course, we all know the outcome of these games. It’s all but certain. But no one knows the game itself like my favorite hero, your favorite hero, the only person who has ever survived the hunt, John “Bullet” Atkins!
BULLET (53) stands up. He’s in flashy gear with a big smile. Beautiful women and expensive booze surround him.
HOST
What words do you have for us tonight, hero?
BULLET
My question to you, my friend, is: are you ready for what the players may do when they fight back?
The audience goes silent, then laughter abounds. Bullet and the Host both laugh as well.
HOST
Good one, Bullet. Of course, you were in the hunt back when we used criminals, and you’re toughness got you through. I’ve looked at these players and trust me, they aren’t as tough as you are. Not even as tough as your pinkie. And that will cost them.
BULLET
In that case, I have a warning for everyone in this room–
They all look at him, wondering.
BULLET
–and that is to shield your kid’s eyes, because they’ll be scarred for life after seeing the ultra-violence coming our way tonight!
Everyone cheers louder.
HOST
Thanks, Bullet. We’ll take that warning to heart. Now–
The Host looks odd, like he’s just hearing something, cocking an ear dramatically.
HOST
Hear that?
The audience looks around, straining to hear.
HOST
That right there is the last moment of silence these players will ever hear. Once this starts, they’re monster meat, just like the two-hundred-and-nine miscreants who were massacred before them. Now–
The Host expands his arms wide.
HOST
Let’s start the hunt!
They all cheer.
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Dev Ross
ANTICIPATORY DIALOGUE
What I learned is how much this draws the audience in. Keeps a reader turning the page!
INT. OFFICE BUILDING – DAY
GUY LARRY (30), thin, eager, a work hard get rewarded guy, steps out of the elevator into a office a buzz with people, phones ringing, and packages being delivered.
In a cubical off to the side, a WOMAN opens a delivered package then immediately succumbs to the poison gas that spews. She drops dead.
Elsewhere, no one reacts. Business as usual.
A HARRIED WOMAN, JENELLE (30) hurries over to greet him.
JENELL
Mr. Larry?
GUY
Yes, but you can call me Guy.
JENELLE
You’re early. Early’s good. Follow me.
He follows her as she race-walks through the humongous office floor. Think jogging track.
JENELLE
I trust you read all the instructions?
He run-walks to catch up with her.
GUY
Actually… I didn’t receive any instructions.
JENELLE
Of course you did. I sent them myself.
GUY
Sorry, I didn’t get them.
JENELLE
Did you check your spam folder?
A moment of beating himself up…
GUY
No.
Shaking her head warily.
JENELLE
Who doesn’t regularly check their spam folder? This is NOT good.
She uses CARD KEY to get into an office.
JENELLE
Wait in here. I’ll sent Mr. Preston in. Until he gets here, pull up the instructions on your phone and read them!
She’s about to close the door when–
GUY
But I’ve done this kind of job a hundred times, why are they so important?
JENELLE
If you had read them, you’d know.
She looks down the hallway.
JENELLE
Too late! Here he comes! He’s always early too!
INT. OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
MR. PRESTON (50’s) tan, perfect hair, and looking slim and trim in his suit, enters.
Guy jumps to his feet and offers his hand for a shake.
GUY
Mr. Preston! So good to meet you! It’s an honor, actually.
Mr. Preston breezes right past him and sits at the desk. He motions Guy to sit as well.
MR. PRESTON
As to the instructions, any questions?
GUY
Aaa… well… no. They were very self-explanatory. Very. Clear.
MR. PRESTON
Good. You’re hired.
GUY
I am?
Preston places a GUN on the desk.
MR. PRESTON
It’s not traceable.
GUY
The gun?
Mr. Preston looks up at him warily.
MR. PRESTON
Of course. You seem… surprised.
GUY
Aaa… No! Not at all. Me being an accountant and all, this is all still new to me.
Regarding him carefully…
MR. PRESTON
Interesting. I never assumed you’d be flappable.
Thinks on it…
MR. PRESTON
I like that. It’ll work.
Preston gets up to leave.
MR. PRESTON
Report back to me next week. I expect complete details. Any questions?
GUY
A million, actually.
MR. PRESTON
Good. I like an inquisitive mind. Next week then.
He leaves.
Guy looks at the gun in his hand and then quickly sets it down.
GUY
Shit! I really need to read those instructions…
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Cameron Martin Anticipatory Dialogue
What I learned doing this assignment is…When Hal said there was an average of two anticipatory lines of dialogue per page, that seemed like a good benchmark to strive for. I recognize this strategy and use it in a lot of my scenes (Setup/Payoff is the name of the game). So as to gain more from this lesson, I decided to take a look through my script and account for each use of it, with the logic that the more setups and payoffs I have, the more satisfying my script will be (I’ve included the first 5 pages for reference). I also went back to a previous scene and updates some of the dialogue to better reflect the character traits, as well as include more forms of Anticipatory Dialogue in the text.
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Pg. 1
ISAIAH
(coughing up blood onto Sully’s sleeve)
You’re going to make it worse! Stop! Stop!
NOTE: Direct Prediction, Imply Hopelessness
Pg. 2
ISAIAH
Get away from me! Get aw-aghk-aghk—
NOTE: Warning
ISAIAH
You killed me! You killed me and I’m going to die!
NOTE: Direct Prediction, Imply Consequences
SULLY
(convincing himself more than his son)
You’re not going to die!
NOTE: Direct Prediction, Challenge Issued
SULLY
I fu…I messed up. I know…I shouldn’t have pushed you before.
NOTE: Indirect Prediction, Shield from Consequences in Advance
SULLY
(to Isaiah)
Please, let me save you, now.
NOTE: Confront someone hiding from a future consequence
ISAIAH
My mouth is coming out! It hurts!
NOTE: Imply consequences, Imply hopelessness, Warnings, Indirect Prediction
Pg. 3
SULLY
You’re better than me. Okay? Don’t ever be like me. This is my fault. All of this is my fault.
NOTE: Imply consequences, Imply hopelessness
Pg. 4
SULLY
What’s here that’s more exciting than what you’ve got going on at school today?
NOTE: Confront someone hiding from a future consequence
SULLY
You locked your door?
NOTE: Confront someone hiding from a future consequence
SIDE NOTE: To save time, I’m not copying and pasting each line where Isaiah coughs because it’s all “Implying consequences.”
Pg. 5
SULLY
(plugging the key in the handle)
Isaiah, some day you’ll understand that fifty percent of a parent’s job is to assume what their teenage
NOTE: Direct Prediction
ISAIAH
I’m not a teenager.
NOTE: Shield from a future consequence
SULLY
Semantics. You’re old enough to act like one.
NOTE: Indirect consequence, Create reputation for the villain
SULLY
Okay, no more keeping the door to your room closed.
NOTE: Warning
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INT. JUDE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
SULLY opens his eyes. In front of him, Jude lays still, a sheet covering her.
He rolls over to look away…
ISAIAH’s missing.
Sully’s eyes widen. Where is he?
He sits up.
SULLY
(whispering)
Isaiah?
No answer.
SULLY
Isaiah?
He gets up. No sign of him anywhere. Everything is as they left it before…
Sully looks back at the sheet covered corpse of Jude.
He tiptoes to what he assumes is her room. Funny. He hasn’t been anywhere else but the main area and the back room.
He flicks on a switch.
The lights come on for just a second, revealing a vacant rrom – no furniture – before the bulb EXPLODES, casting darkness over the room once more.
Sully takes a step into the room. Nothing can be seen as he inches deeper and deeper into the shadows.
CRASH OF GLASS SHATTERING BEHIND HIM…
It came from the kitchen.
Sully runs back out of the dark void.
Seeing Isaiah – thank goodness.
At Isaiah’s feet. The glass tank that was holding the budding fungal spears impaling the alien’s head has shattered.
ISAIAH
Daddy?
Isaiah coughs lightly at first, then begins to whoop and hack up blood!
ISAIAH
Daddy!? *COUGH! COUGH!*
Sully runs over to his son, who’s spasming on the ground.
SULLY
Isaiah, just hold still. It’s going to be alright.
ISAIAH
I was just cur-ur-ious!
SULLY
It’s okay. We have plenty of time. It’s going to be oka—
ISAIAH
I-I-m-m-m sor-r-r-y.
Sully looks everywhere, desperate for an answer. His son thrashes in his arms.
ISAIAH
You have to kill me!
SULLY
Stop it! I’ve already sworn, I’m not going to let you die too!
ISAIAH
Make it stop! Kill me, please! Let me die!
A torrent of blood spews from Isaiah’s throat. His mouth tears into a smile that stretches back to his jaw bones.
SULLY
Isaiah, please. Please!
Isaiah’s mouth fractures from his skull.
Sully looks his boy in the eye…
Before Isaiah pulls his dad’s throat to his mouth that catapults from his skull and takes a giant bite out of Sul—
Sully jolts up in a panic!
Everything is as it was before. He looks over at his son who’s sleeping soundly. A dream.
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Day 5: (Advanced Dialogue) – Anita’s Anticipatory Scene
What I learned: This helped me turn a simple expository scene into (what I hope) is a much more fraught page-turner. I tried to incorporate the following aspects into the dialogue: Indirect Prediction, Countdown, Imply Consequences, Warnings, Create Reputation for the Villain, Confront (Danica) who is hiding from Consequences, and a Challenge Issued.
INT. LAW OFFICES, EXECUTIVE CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
MANAGING PARTNER ROBERT GREENE strides in to address his assembled associates.
As the wizened face of this particular kingdom Greene commands respect by both his title and his quiet authoritarianism.
Danica is among the partners and other counsel attorneys present. Greene dives right in –
ROBERT GREENE
This is our biggest case to date. So I don’t have to spell out what’s at stake – besides the firm’s very reputation. How goes this law, so goes the fate of every woman in the State of <st1:state w:st=”on”><st1:place w:st=”on”>Louisiana</st1:place></st1:state>.
(beat)
And it’s an uphill fight that just got a lot tougher.
He makes eye contact around the table.
ROBERT GREENE (CONT’D)
The third paneled judge is Kilner. Cyrus Kilner.
Danica’s gasp is covered by other’s groans and oaths. She goes pale.
Greene nods to a nearby assistant who passes out thick portfolios from a tall stack.
ROBERT GREENE (CONT’D)
The big picture is in there. Everyone on the team will have full access to all the support personnel and materials you need.
(beat)
I’m appointing Danica as lead counsel.
A few jealous looks / mostly nods of approval.
ROBERT GREENE (CONT’D)
Look. The law hanging in the balance will be triggered if Roe goes up in flames at the Supreme Court. It’s our job to put up every legal argument, roadblock and speed bump we can to keep that from happening. And we only have 30 days to prep.
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DAY 5 Anticipatory Dialogue
Lisa’s Anticipatory Dialogue
What I learned is that by incorporating as many of the 11 forms of anticipatory dialogue as possible, the character’s dialogue has somewhere to go…a purpose.
Scene from “Mary’s Wonderful Christmas”
INT-MARY’S KITCHEN-DAY
Christmas pies, cakes, cookies, candy and more for the IAWL festival cover every surface of Mary’s kitchen. She has just prepared breakfast and is clearing a spot on the table to put it for her daughters. Mary stops and looks at her mother’s photo on the wall over the table. Mary’s mother died early in the year. RUTHIE, a smart and wise 9-year-old and JANIE, a sensitive and kind 7-year-old enter singing their version of “I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” which goes, “I want a pretty platypus for Christmas” at the top of their lungs. Uncle Billy, their dachshund barks at them as though he’s singing along. Ruthie has her laptop under her arm.
MARY
(smiling) That is not how the song goes.
RUTHIE
Yeah, but we like platypus’s better!
JANIE
Yeah!
Janie holds up her stuffed platypus.
MARY
Okay, if you day so.
The girls take their seats and Mary places their breakfasts of toast and eggs on the table. Uncle Billy sits and stares at them while they eat.
MARY(CONTINUED)
No computers at the table, Ruthie.
RUTHIE
I know, but it’s not working right. I can’t find Santa on the site.
MARY
I’ll take a look at it. You eat.
Mary opens the laptop and sees Ruthie was on the NORAD site. Mary sees a message on the top of the site that states Santa may be delayed in departing the North Pole. This is very odd because the site always starts Santa’s voyage on the 23<sup>rd</sup> of December, today.
MARY (CONTINUED)
Hmm. This is strange. I don’t think it’s the computer.
Mary doesn’t want to worry the girls about it.
MARY (CONTINUED)
Let’s give it another day and we’ll see if Santa starts his journey tomorrow.
RUTHIE
(disappointed) Okay, mom.
MARY
That reminds me. (looking at her phone) I need to call your father to see if he’s coming over for Christmas.
Mary puts her phone down and gets serious.
MARY (CONTINUED)
Look girls. I don’t think we can count on your dad for Christmas.
RUTHIE
What do you mean?
JANIE
(getting anxious) He’s coming, isn’t he?
MARY
Well, I want to be honest with you…I’m not sure. He’s been unpredictable lately. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up.
Janie hangs her head and Ruthie has a mad look come over her face.
MARY (CONTINUED)
BUT! We are going to have the best Christmas ever with Joseph!
RUTHIE
(half-heartedly) Sure.
JANIE
It’s not the same without daddy.
They sit in silence. Mary’s not sure what to say next.
MARY
You like Joe, don’t you?
RUTHIE
He’s nice.
Janie shakes her head yes.
MARY (CONTINUED)
Then we are going to make the best of whatever situation we have this Christmas. Don’t you think your grandmother would agree with that?
Mary looks at the photo of her mother on the wall. The girls look at it too.
MARY (CONTINUED)
She always said, “Christmas comes but once a year, so make it a wonderful one!”
Mary clears the dishes. Janie goes over to Ruthie and sits in her seat with her. Mary looks at their sad faces and has to turn those frowns upside down.
MARY
So! I think I have two hours to spare today when I don’t have to work on the festival. What would you like to do?
JANIE AND RUTHIE
Ice skating!!
MARY
Well, I don’t know if you want to go with me. You know I was pretty good when I was your ages, young ladies.
JANIE
Please!!
RUTHIE
Come on, mom!
MARY
I did promise Annie I’d meet up with her. I guess we can meet at the pond.
Janie and Ruthie stare with anticipation. Mary takes an extra beat to make them wait. She likes the attention from them!
MARY (CONTINUED)
Okay! But I think we must have a race across the pond to see who is the fastest. Are you interested?
JANIE
Sure am!
RUTHIE
I’m going to beat you both! HA! HA!
They race around the table while Uncle Billy jumps up and barks at them.
MARY
Alright! Go up stairs and get ready.
Ruthie and Janie run out of the room and up the staircase. Uncle Billy stares at Mary.
MARY
You too, Uncle Billy!
Uncle Billy runs up the stairs too.
FADE OUT
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June Fortunato’s Anticipatory Dialogue for Retirement Day 5
What I learned: Good list.
Previously: Roy had a meltdown in Atlantic City and Kim breaks it off- saying she’s no good for him. When Roy ‘recovers’ he looks for Kim, can’t find her, and hitches a ride on a bus full of church ladies. Kim spends the night on the stage. Roy was locked out of his balcony at the Bellevue, so he searches for a place to sleep. He decides to try to legit, rent an apartment. Meanwhile, Kim talks a young couple into give her a lift. Back in Philly, she heads to her house, where Brian and Ingrid have taken over.
INT. BATHROOM – EARLY MORNING A one-seat bathroom, the kind in commercial buildings. Roy washes himself.
INT. HOSPITAL – NURSE’S STATION – EARLY MORNING Suzy and Tara listen to the splashing water. Tim stands ready to nab the intruder outside of the door. Roy emerges.
SUZY Roy!
ROY There’s my pushy friend, Tim!
He shakes Tim’s hand.
SUZY You came! I don’t believe it!
TARA Marilyn’s awake.
SUZY Let me introduce you.
ROY Places to go. Things to do. Thanks for the hospitality. Mattress could use a little work, though.
Tim peeks in.
SUZY Roy!
Roy takes a peppermint as he leaves.
INT./EXT. BUS – COTTAGE – EARLY MORNING – CONTINUOUS Kim gets off of a local bus.
KIM You get one last chance. Or else. I’m gonna do it. I will. I am strong. I am ready. I will right the wrongs.
Kim goes to the parked car and has a key. She sits behind the wheel.
KIM This is MY car. What makes you think you can take MY CAR????? Why do you have to take EVERYTHING? I want it all BACK!
She cranks the engine and lays on the horn. Inside, Ingrid rips the curtains back and starts yelling for Brian. He looks out and then stumbles, pushed out of the door. He stares at Kim, afraid. Kim lays on the horn again. Ingrid, at the door:
INGRID Shut that bitch up! I’m calling the police!
KIM Get in the car, Brian.
Brian is paralyzed.
KIM Get your wimpy behind in the car!!!
INGRID I called the police! I called the police!
Brian hustles into the car and Kim locks the doors. She drives.
EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING – MORNING – CONTINUOUS
A far too-young, smarmy manager, swamped in a cheap, overly-large suit, ushers Roy out of the front door.
MANAGER (exasperated) Like I keep telling you, you need a bank account!
ROY Cash.
MANAGER B.A.N.K. Account!
ROY Cash is king. All the kings use it. Except for Putin. He uses manipulation. And Rubles.
MANAGER Bank account. First month, last month, security deposit. References! Those are the rules.
ROY Cowboys don’t have bank accounts.
Tries to be clever.
MANAGER OK, “Cowboy Bebop”, get on your horse and kick up the dust. You’re not renting here. And I don’t care that you’re a Veteran.
Proud of himself, the manager turns and marches back into the building. Roy catches the door behind him.
INT./EXT. SCHUYLKILL EXPRESSWAY – KIM’S CAR – CONTINUOUS
Kim, speeding, takes curves too fast, and Brian fears for his life. He tries to get out but the doors are baby-locked. Wouldn’t help anyway. There’s a steep drop along the roadside and no place to pull off.
BRIAN Kim, please!
KIM You’re out of control. Why you gotta be a thieving dick and a wimp all at the same time? I’m tired of it, Brian.
BRIAN Pull over! Stop!
KIM You stop. Have some decency. What is WRONG with you???
BRIAN I love her. It makes her happy.
KIM She’s cheating on you.
He’s silent.
I saw them.
BRIAN I know.
KIM You KNOW?
Brian nods.
You know she’s cheating on you???!!! You know with whom?
Brian nods.
BRIAN Oren.
KIM Oh my god!
Kim slams on the brakes and they both jolt forward as she slows her speed. She ‘creates’ a pull off and plows her car onto it, sticking out into the lane and stops. Drivers swerve to get around them.
KIM You set me up!
Brian is silent.
Who is he, anyway? You COWARD. Start talking or you’ll never get out of here.
BRIAN Kim, please.
KIM You didn’t get a court order to commit me, did you? DID YOU?
Brian shakes his head.
And then you were what? Gonna shove me into Belmont! to get my name off the house, and then I’m kicked out of there and then what? I’m really homeless. You… SCUM.
Brian is red-faced.
How DARE you!? And who is Oren, anyway? A bank teller? Oh, wait, someone who’s in on the take at the bank, right?
Silence.
I got news for you. She’s gonna leave you. I heard her gloat. She’s taking all of MY money, and all of YOUR money. She has private accounts, and as soon as she gets the house, she’s out.
BRIAN She won’t leave me.
KIM You MORON.
BRIAN She loves me. She’ll stay.
KIM You’re not getting MY house. Do you understand? You’re not getting it.
BRIAN You won’t win. Everybody thinks you’re insane.
Kim unlocks the doors.
KIM GET. OUT.
BRIAN Here???
KIM Get out NOW.
BRIAN Where???
She reaches over him and opens his door.
BRIAN You’re leaving me here???
KIM One. Two. Three.
BRIAN You sound like mom. And you know what happened to her.
He barely makes it out and she speeds away. He’s terrified between the cliff and the fast traffic.
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Anna’s Anticipatory Dialogue Work up from The Bittersweet of Summer’s End.
What I learned from this assignment; this helped me sharpen up and succinctly build anticipation.
SITUATION
Maggie and her friend Cleo went to Brighton to buy art supplies. They are headed home when they notice that the weather has turned stormy. Stu is out on his boat fishing for lobster for the Manor’s weekend dinner party.
SCENE
TRAIN FROM BRIGHTON TO EXETER
INT.2nd CLASS TRAIN CARRAIGE/DAY
P.O.V. Looking out of the train window.
Rocking motion of the train
MAGGIE
V.O.
The bloody rain is coming down in sheets, and the wind is up. I hope Stu isn’t freezing his arse off on the boat. (imply consequences)
MAGGIE
Cleo, wake up, we should get our bags organized and be ready to get off. Can’t wait for tea and toast by the fire with Stu.
CLEO
I guess we are about ten minutes from home. Who is picking us up?
MAGGIE
Paul, you silly. Head still in the land of nod?
CLEO
It’s pissing down out there and I only brought this hoodie. Look the waves are breaking over the tracks. I hope they don’t close us down again before we get to Exeter.
MAGGIE
Can’t wait to get home and put my feet up. Stu will have the tea on and the fire going.
I’m working the bar tonight with James. No rest for the very wicked.
P.O.V.
The women look out of the train window as it pulls into the station.
EXT.TRAIN STATION/DAY
Cleo and Maggie descend from the train carrying shopping bags.
Cleo runs up to Paul and gives him a flirtatious hug and a kiss.
MAGGIE
Hiya, Paul. Thanks for getting us in this shitty weather.
Paul walks toward me and takes both my hands. his face is wracked with worry.
PAUL
Cleo, I have some bad news, Stu’s boat sent out a mayday a couple of hours ago. The RNL are out looking for him. It’s pretty stormy further out at sea, even worse than this. (imply consequences) Get in the truck and I can fill you in.
MAGGIE
Oh, God! This can’t be real.
PAUL
I’m going to take you home. You can get some heavy-duty rain gear on. I am going to check in with the Search and Rescue team. I am sure he’ll be back anytime now. He knows these waters and is very skilled with his boat. (shield from consequences) hang on, things will work out.
MAGGIE
Maggie is shaking and shivering, the rain is running down her face and hair.
MAGGIE
Fucking lobsters.
ESTABLISHING.EXT.BEACH/DAY
SIGNAGE READS MILUP BAY DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE
A coastguard helicopter is hovering. A SEARCH AND RESCUE man and another figure are being winched up a line from the devouring sea into the helicopter.
RESCUER
Good Morning, Lord Withall. What a great day to be alive. Hang on I’ve got you good and strapped in.
STU
coughing and spluttering,
I don’t know if I am alive or dead. I can’t feel my legs. (warning)
RESCUER
No worries, we’ll get those fixed right up. Hang on tight. We do not fail. (protecting from consequences)
EXT.BEACH/DAY
PAUL
I told you they would find him. Quick, down the rocks, be careful; we’ll ask the team where they are headed.
MAGGIE
You mean they are not going to land on the beach?
PAUL
No, they will stabilize him. He will be airlifted to one of the bigger hospitals with a helicopter landing pad. (Implying consequences)
Come on and be careful, we don’t need you breaking your leg. Hold my hand, the shingles are very slippery.”
PAUL AND MAGGIE
Paul and Maggie climb down the slippery shingle beach
PAUL
His radio crackles, a voice is heard.</font>
RESCUE TEAM MEMBER
He’s alive! We are ETA Portsmouth Hospital landing in 20 minutes
PAUL
It’s a teaching hospital. Advanced level equipment and techniques. (indirect prediction) They’ll take good care of him. Come on, let’s jump in the truck. The helicopter will get there much faster than us. It’s going to take us about two hours.”
EXT.TRUCK /DAY
Takes off fast, then stops. Maggie jumps out and throws up. F.O. (direct prediction)
PAUL runs from the truck to Maggie with a bottle of water. Paul puts his arm around her and gets her back into the truck (shielding her from consequences,) and future metaphor for their relationship.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by anna harper.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by anna harper.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by
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PS81 – Dana’s Anticipatory Dialogue
What I learned Doing This Assignment.
I reread my script and used the list of anticipatory dialogue to mark each line in the scene below. The multiple definitions of anticipatory dialogue helped me identify and intensity the protagonist/antagonist dialogue when I rewrote the scene.
SCENE:
INT. ON AIR STUDIO – CONTINUOUS
ELLEN
(confused, anxious)
How do you know Jason?
RYAN
He’s a recent acquaintance.
ELLEN
Is he there with you?
RYAN
He’s not available. But there is someone here who’d like to speak with you. Hold on. Let me get him for you.
The SOUND of Ryan setting down his phone. Footsteps. A far door opens. MUFFLED VOICES — A MAN AND SCARED GIRLS. More footsteps, scuffling. Then quiet. Someone breathing on the phone.
RYAN (CONT’D)
(to someone else)
Talk.
ROGER
(scared, weak)
…Ellen…?
Ellen’s fears pour out. Eyes wide, tearing up.
ELLEN
(whimpered)
Roger…?
ROGER
(trembling breath)
It’s okay, baby. Nobody’s hurt. The girls are okay. They’re with me. But you need do what he wants —
The phone SET DOWN again. We HEAR Roger taken back to the room. The door is CLOSED and BOLTED.
ELLEN
Roger? Roger!
Ellen gulp for breath, in shock.
RYAN
Dr. Ellen? Are you still with me?
Ellen can’t speak.
RYAN (CONT’D)
I can here you breathing.
INT. CONTROL BOOTH – DAY
SORENSEN
Can I talk to her without him hearing?
CLAIRE
The intercom.
She presses a button. Sorensen grabs the microphone.
SORENSEN
Ellen? Can you hear me?
Ellen looks to him.
SORENSEN (CONT’D)
Engage him. Find out what he wants. You need to keep him talking.
INT. ON AIR STUDIO – CONTINUOUS
Ellen nods.
RYAN
Dr. Ellen? Come out, come out wherever you are.
ELLEN
I’m here —
RYAN
For a moment, I thought I’d lost you.
ELLEN
What do you want?
RYAN
We’ll get to that. But first, we need to lay a few ground rules.
ELLEN
Ground rules?
RYAN
Let me begin by apologizing to our sporting enthusiasts. The Dr. Ellen Show will be running long today, so Dick Metcalf’s Sports Bonanza will be bumped until further notice.
ELLEN
Why are you doing this?
RYAN
Your station might also want to consider refunding your sponsors’ advertising dollars. I’m going to demand your undivided attention, which means your show can never leave the air. No commercials, no station breaks, no news updates. Nothing. Not even a PSA for orphaned puppies. Can we agree on that?
ELLEN
I think so…
RYAN
Good. I also don’t want our comity infected by outsiders. We have a good rapport, you and I, so no meddlers. No family, no friends, no bleeding hearts. Their involvement will only add tension to an already stressful situation. Besides, this is your milieu, what you get paid for. So no interlopers.
Through the partition, we see Pete join the team in the control room. He can’t believe what’s happening.
RYAN (CONT’D)
Oh, and no police. I know they’ll be monitoring our tete-a-tete, but I don’t want to smell their stink. If they come anywhere near me, I won’t be responsible for what happens. Do you understand?
Ellen looks to Sorensen for guidance — he nods.
ELLEN
Yes.
RYAN
And now we’ve come to the theme for our show. It’s about second chances — yours, Dr. Ellen.
ELLEN
What do you mean?
RYAN
Simple. I’m going to give you a second chance.
ELLEN
For what?
RYAN
Do you know what it’s like to be homeless? To live on the streets? Begging people for money? Digging through garbage for bottles and cans? Not knowing where you’re going to sleep from one night to the next? The filth. The stench. It’s intolerable.
ELLEN
I don’t understand…
RYAN
Jason has to go. He’s become a burden to us. And we can’t carry him anymore. And that’s where you fit in.
(beat)
You’re going to use all of your psychological powers to excise Jason from our reality.
ELLEN
What?
RYAN
You’re going to convince Jason to cease to exist.
ELLEN
Oh, dear God. I can’t do this. I can’t…
RYAN
Yes. You can. And you must — for your family.
ELLEN
My family?
RYAN
I intend to kill one member of your family every hour on the hour until Jason is no more.
ELLEN
Oh, God. No, no…
RYAN
Think of them as motivation, Ellen. Jason or your family.
ELLEN
Please, no. Don’t do this…
RYAN
Greatness requires sacrifice and pain, Ellen. A worthiness that can only be achieved by extraordinary circumstances. And I have faith in you. This your moment. Don’t fight it. Embrace it.
ELLEN
This is insane.
RYAN
Then it’s right up your alley.
Shock takes Ellen, crying without sound.
RYAN (CONT’D)
Now… let’s talk.
-
Day 5 – Anticipatory Dialogue – Assignment
Mike O – Anticipatory Dialogue
What I learned doing this assignment is the importance of enticing and drawing the reader in via anticipatory dialogue. I never thought much of this tool, until now. Again, dialogue is a key component in script writing and understanding the various facets that go into crafting superior dialogue is a must!
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[1] Create a scene that sets up a future problem. In it, use as many forms of Anticipatory dialogue as you can. Here’s a list that will help you.
1. Direct prediction.
2. Indirect prediction.
3. Countdown.
4. Imply consequences.
5. Imply hopelessness.
6. Shield from consequences in advance.
7. Warnings.
8. Create reputation for the villain.
9. Confront someone hiding from a future consequence.
10. A challenge issued.
11. Silence at a strange time.————————————–
INT. GALLERY OFFICE – NIGHT
Richard sits across the desk from Brooklyn. The two in mid-conversation.
RICHARD “Imagine my surprise when I discovered your work. It’s good quite good in fact. I love the repressed sexuality, the eroticism hidden in the composition. (gives a Chef’s kiss) That unrequited lust is evident clear down to the brush strokes. It is just a matter of time.”
BROOKLYN “My what?! It’s passion that drives my art, not lust.”
RICHARD “And there’s a difference?”
BROOKLYN “One involves the heart, the other is just a dirty urge. A sexual desire devoid of love.”
RICHARD “Best art comes from broken hearts. (look of secrecy) You’re about to find that out.”
BROOKYN “Wow, you’re quoting Carrie Fisher to me?”
RICHARD “It’s not a quote or a prediction, it’s historical fact: Rodin, Frida Kahlo, Edvard Munch, Jackson Pollick’s wife. (coy smile) If I were to hazard a guess, I give it six months, a year tops.”
Richard lifts up, out of the chair, gives the desk and piles of papers a dismissive glance.
RICHARD “Chow.”
BROOKLYN “I’ll lock up.(good riddance) Good night.”
Brooklyn watches him stroll out of the office. Creeped out, she SHIVERS, goes over and closes the office door.
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