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Day 11 Assignments
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Phyllis Has Great Dialogue
I learned from this assignment that brainstorming with the different dialogue strategies was very powerful. I learned that most lines can be elevated. It’s also a useful exercise if you try alternatives and then go back to your original.
Five Best Examples
Sequence 1 – Before
NORRIS
(re: hoses)
Y’think that’s gonna be enough?
HALLORAN
I used to fight these things, remember?
NORRIS
They’re saying to evacuate.
HALLORAN
I’m not leaving my house unprotected.
Sequence 1 – After (Using Setup/Payoff and Ironic dialogue)
NORRIS
Hey guys, what’re you still doin’ here?
CALEB
What does it look like?
NORRIS
Like David’s making a last stand against Goliath.
HALLORAN
Didn’t David win?
Line 2 – Before
MANNING
Tell me again how you did it.
Line 2 – After (Using Character Profile and Anticipatory Dialogue)
MANNING
Now I don’t want you getting a swelled head, but the Director’s asking how you did it.
Line 3 – Before
LOBBYIST
My kids hate me.
Line 3 – After (Using Setup/Payoff and Ironic Dialogue)
LOBBYIST
Teenagers oughta come with warning labels. Mine hate me.
Line 4 – Before
ZACK
Don’t you get tired of never going out?
Line 4 – After (Using Ironic Dialogue and Subtext)
ZACK
It’d be nice to make it past the front door one of these nights.
Line 5 – Before
SASHA
He’s the black sheep. Holds the same opinion of his sister as I do.
Line 5 – After (Using Character Profile and Anticipatory Dialogue)
SASHA
He’s the black sheep, fighting against everything his sister stands for.
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Lesson 11
Marcus Has Great Dialogue.
I learned that no matter how good you think your dialogue is, you can always go back and make at least some improvements.
I went through the entire script and tried to rewrite every line of dialogue. In most cases, I couldn’t find a better way to do it. But in a handful of places, I was able to tighten up the characters’ lines and add interest.
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