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Day 9 Assignments
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Gerry Cousins – ACT IV – Scene 9 (Closing Scene)
What I learned doing this assignment:
As you will recall, this is a straight play, not a screenplay. In the course of doing these assignments, I learned that my last scene had to be completely rewritten. Since working in this format is completely new to me, I chose the Closing Scene (rather than the Opening Scene) because I wanted to utilize this new skill with new writing without so much as a draft. Seems easier and more organized without the hassle of just sitting down to write the Scene. Word smithing is not an issue now as this is a fleshed-out skeleton. Quite a remarkable way of working.
INT. Casita at the Marfa Inn – JENNA’s BEDRROM – LATE FRIDAY AFTERNOON
Her cell phone rings, waking her from a nap. It’s husband, MARTY in DALLAS on his way to Marfa… Tired and annoyed by him and his questions re the layout of the casita, SHE assures him that SID has his own separate room and bath. Phone service is terrible and THEY both have trouble with the connection. SHE tells him they’ll be home Monday for a Network meeting. They hang up.
BEAT – Annoyed
SID’s cell phone rings on the night table on the other side of the bed. As JENNA reaches over, we realize SHE is naked under the sheets. It’s the Network informing the writers that the series has been renewed.
BEAT – Welcoming
SID enters the room and appears to be naked except for a towel around his waist. HE takes the call and is thrilled with the news.
BEAT – Thrilled
Off the phone, JENNA tells SID SHE never meant for them to have sex. Her falling asleep saved the day.
BEAT – Relief
SHE relates the call from MARTY. Both understand her predicament. But “we fell in love.” JENNNA admits to being in love with SID for a long time SHE thinks her husband already knows or suspects and is at a loss for knowing what to do with regard to her family.
BEAT – Explain
JENNA suggests SID call the airlines, changing their plans going home to the next day and not wait until Monday.
BEAT – Plan
SID is about to dress to go over to the Main House in order to use their hard line phone when MARTY calls again. JENNA’s in the W.C. (BEAT) HE takes the call. They briefly talk about the play and then SID asks MARTY to rebook all 3 tickets back to LAX. He goes to his room to get the particulars of their flight and to dress…
BEAT – Expedite
With SID out of the room, JENNA, exits the W.C. dressed and with her hair and make-up fixed. SHE moves to her lap top and begins her writing/speaking process.
BEAT – Examine
SID enters fully dressed to go out and reports on his call with MARTY. HE tells JENNA that he’s told MARTY that he wants to marry her. (BEAT) SHE tells him No, but that SHE will not go back to MARTY either (BEAT) —that SHE needs to make the choice to be her own person.
BEAT- Affirm
SID changes the subject to CRIME STOPPERS and how he can’t wait to get back in the groove.
BEAT – Move on
THEY exit the casita to tell the Inn Keepers about their early departure, have some dinner, and see the lights for the last time.
BEAT – Leave
Brief words O.S.
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Ron’s Opening Scenes
What I learned writing this assignment. It’s becoming clearer how this approach can measurably improve on traditional writing methods. The framework/beats provides an architecture, implying that some things must be accomplished by a certain point in the storytelling (there’s a sequence of these high points), with a literal “beat” or cadence. In today’s writing, we put a little more meat on those bones. But the bones exist because of last week’s work, so this is literally “filling in the details”. AND – this is really interesting – it’s key to not get too “fussy” about the details now, the main point is to get “something” on the page that can be improved in rewrites.
In the end analysis, while the course talks about “writing your screenplay in 30 days”, I’d guess by now that the deliverable from this course is a “first draft” (or very close, maybe second or third but very early) in 30 days. THEN the real work begins, as we examine what we’ve created in the way of conflict management, ambiguity, tension, backstory, interesting details about our protagonist and his or her antagonist. This feels like it may be the very best process for writing scripts ever invented. And presumably once this course is done, there are other courses in rewriting to contemplate to get the script to “production ready” level.
BEAT: Ensign Domenico Cuccinelli, XO, steps up when, during a night attack on a Japanese destroyer by PT129 in Mar 1943, his captain is badly injured. But he goes in too fast and too hard, takes enormous risks, barely survives. In the end, the destroyer is sunk but ………..is it the 129’s doing?
BEAT: Lt. Commander Tom Hart gets the report the next morning, sends for Cucinelli, and has him in a brace for half an hour while he chews on the young Ensign. He’s mad because he expected more from this recent graduate of PT school in Melville RI. He (Cuccinelli) might have gotten his entire crew killed, or himself, and at the least he now has to get some significant (expensive) repairs done on the 129.
2. EXT NIGHT -ON WATER
Beginning: We’re “laying to” in the pitch dark, out in the water somewhere. We can hear very powerful engines at idle. What’s going on? Then, the radio operator says “got a bogey at 085 degrees, making 30 knots, heading 165”. Immediately our vessel, whatever it is, leaps out of the water, accelerating madly, bashing against the waves, getting up to 45 knots. The captain orders his men to their stations. One, XO Cuccinelli, takes his position near the smoke generator at the back of the vessel.
Middle: The attack continues. The captain is hit! Cuccinelli understand instantly what he’s required to do. He takes command of the vessel, and proceeds to complete an attack. It’s a rough deal, dark, not a lot of information to process. The destroyer is enormous.
End: Cooch takes the PT in close to ensure the best odds of a torpedo strike. Gunners on the destroyer are shooting back and searching with searchlights for their target. He releases two torpedoes, but neither detonates. The destroyer changes course, and Cuccinelli takes an enormous gamble that finds him “hiding” right below the destroyer’s gunners for what seems like an hour but in fact lasts ~90 seconds. He finally escapes, makes a second run with torpedoes #3 and #4, and then, after the time Cooch’s torpedoes should have hit, there’s an enormous explosion and the destroyer goes down. But is it Cooch’s doing?
3. INT DAY – COMMANDER’S HQ
Beginning: Commander Hart is pissed. He sends for Cuccinelli, who’s just finishing breakfast.
Middle: Hart stands Cuccinelli in a brace for 35 minutes and provides Cooch with a really solid, world class dressing down. “I expected more from you Cuccinelli! You’ve only been here a week!” Great way to make an impression on the big boss.
End: Cuccinelli leaves the Commander’s office outwardly humble and apologetic, but it’s not sincere. He still wants to kill Japs and he’ll do anything he needs to do to accomplish that task.
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ROBIN ATWOOD’S ACT 1 OPENING SCENE
What I learned from this lesson is how to structure the opening scene to hook the audience by introducing the journey and the characters. This shows the audience who they are joining on this journey.
OPENING SCENE OUTLINE
EXT. IVY’S FAMILY COTTAGE — DAY
BEGINNING: Ivy is preparing to go to the forest with her wolf dog Wulfgar to gather herbs for her father’s healing practice and for her mother’s cooking.
MIDDLE: Before she leaves the cottage, Ivy’s father comes out of the cottage and reminds her to be careful. He tells her not to daydream like she is often doing because dangers in the forest will find her if she is not paying attention.
END: Ivy hugs her father and reminds him that this is not the first time she has gone without him and besides she will have Wulfgar with her. She smiles at Wulfgar and they head off into the forest.
SECOND SCENE OUTLINE
EXT. FOREST – DAY
BEGINNING: Ivy is gathering herbs in the forest when Henry the crown prince happens upon her.
MIDDLE: Henry is stunned by her beauty and innocence. Ivy is initially afraid of Henry not knowing who he is. Wulfgar is growling at the stranger.
END: Ivy drops her basket of herbs and runs home. Henry follows her.
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What I learned doing this assignment is how to create a speed outline of my scenes.
OPENING SCENE OUTLINE – Introduction of Protagonist
EXT. APARTMENT – DAY
Beginning: Protagonist Tina smiles and opens her front door for her boyfriend who is standing in her doorway carrying a box of his belongings. There’s a moving truck outside. They kiss and he comes in. Her two children wave at him. Tina does a voiceover introducing who this man is.
Middle: Montages of this boyfriend constantly on the couch playing video games and watching TV as Tina leaves/returns from work. Tina opens the door and throws the box of his belongings out of her apartment. She throws him out of the apartment. Her two children wave goodbye at him. Tina does a voiceover explaining his freeloading ways and why she threw him out.
End: Quick one by one montages of Tina smiling and opening her front door to other boyfriends (shown one at a time). Each one carries a box of belongings as the moving truck is seen in the background. Her children wave at each man. Each man has a flaw that angers Tina. More one by one montages of these men getting kicked out of her apartment just like the first boyfriend. The children wave goodbye in each montage to each man. Tina does a voiceover explaining each man’s arrival and departure.
INTRODUCTION OF ANTAGONIST SCENE
INT. CHURCH – DAY
Beginning: Barry, well dressed, intensely scopes out the children playing in Sunday school. He blends in with the other parents, but stares at the little girls… especially Tina’s daughter. Tina heads to the choir room to get a microphone and Barry catches her eye on the way. She’s attracted to him and introduces herself. She asks if his child is in the Sunday school, he says no and wanted to talk to someone about teaching Sunday school. Tina introduces him to one of the teachers who says they’re not looking to bring another teacher on board at this time.
Middle: Barry and Tina continue to talk. He says he’s new to the church and was invited by a friend. They get more acquainted. Tina asks for his number and says they should hang out sometime. Barry agrees. Tina tells him to enjoy the sermon and heads to the choir room to get the mic. Barry watches her strut off and focuses back on her daughter.
End: When Tina goes into the choir room, Barry quickly takes a picture of her daughter on his cell phone and leaves the church.
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M. M.’s Act I Opening Scenes
What I learned in this lesson was how to speed write the start of the script. Fun – no wasting time – no waiting for the right words – just pure writing and fast.
TEASER: PROTAGONIST INTRODUCTION
EXT. PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL STADIUM – NIGHT (Ending to this scene is the ending of the screenplay)
BEGINNING: Bella watches her good friend Luke warm up on the mound, pitching his first game on an MLB farm team. She is visibly pregnant, wearing her monogrammed All-American baseball jersey.
MIDDLE: Out of nowhere, a shot rings out. Pandemonium! The fans scatter, screaming and blocking all the exits. More shots ring out onto the field as players, coaches and umpires rush to dugouts and the building for safety. Stadium security calls for police back-up while trying to locate the point of the shots. They see a lone shooter, male, tall, and packing.
END: Bella scurries as fast as she can toward the dugout as a bullet whizzes by her. Luke rushes toward her, just as POW! A bullet hits him in the leg. He and Bella join teammates in the dugout and he opens his bag to find two concealed carries. He gives Bella a determined look and peers out of the dugout with his trusty Glock. Unbeknownst to him, Bella grabs the other gun and aims outside the dugout. BANG! Another gunshot, but who shot who?
SCENE 2: ANTAGONIST INTRODUCTION
EXT. COLLEGE BASEBALL FIELD – DAY
BEGINNING: It’s college spring baseball tryouts. Pitchers Bella and Luke sit with their group in the special “reserved” section for seniors.
The stands are filled with players, many of them wanna-be’s, anxious for some pearls of wisdom from MLB icon Coach Matt Matthews. Luke and Bella chat. They’ve heard it all before – the Coach is Luke’s Dad.
MIDDLE: A to-die-for handsome dude saunters in and takes a seat below the group of seniors. He scans the place – who’s the cute girl? He nods to Bella then takes his seat. Bella is taken aback . She knows him — Emilio Sanchez. Hasn’t seen him in 5 years. They were on competitive baseball teams back in San Juan. She always had a secret crush on him but he didn’t give her the time of day. Maybe today will be different?
Emilio looks back at Bella. She sees his glimmer of recognition, or is it just his playboy ways? He winks and points to the seat next to him. It’s all about control with him. Especially control over women. Emilio was the star catcher in Puerto Rico – All-National team, every baseball award you could win. The ones he didn’t actually win were bought by his filthy rich parents. His mom’s family owns a multi-generational internationally-famous rum factory. They decided to move with him to Georgia to help him get drafted into MLB. Their only son deserves his dream come true.
END: Emilio watches Bella walk down the steps to meet him, smiling at him. He chuckles to himself. His motto is “when a girl smiles at you, she’s already in your bed.” Bella takes the place next to him. Emilio smiles – perfect teeth. He brushes his hair back. Perfect hair. He strikes up a conversation and immediately asks her out. She smiles.
Coach Matt calls the seniors onto the field. Emilio excuses himself, then finds Bella trailing after him. She plays, too? Tryouts begin.
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Angelina Fluehler – Act 1: Opening Scenes
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
I learned all the details, very useful instructions how to start.
Similar to matrix example – I actually like to swap the 2. Inciting accident and 1. Opening scene in my ACT 1 as it is more exiting to start a movie with the inciting incident, which is followed relatively calm and relaxing opening scene.
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Carol Dougherty’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is: Details matter. I thought I’d done my prep before the class started and would be ready to roll and found that there were things I hadn’t expected that would surprise me. One of those was realizing that the technical part of writing a script that could be copied into the class forum would not be as simple as I’d thought. I’m actually a little behind because it took me a while to figure out my options. It isn’t perfect, but it’s a lot better than the first few tries! (And as I look at it after it’s posted, the formatting changed anyway!)
Opening Scene – Pen:
Outline:
INT. ONSTAGE – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Pen and another actor are performing her final scene in Antony and Cleopatra, in which her character dies.
MIDDLE: As Pen collapses to the stage in her “death throes” she glimpses a woman in the audience who reminds her of her long-dead first love. She spends the rest of the play, curtain call, and opening night ceremonies watching her.
END: Their eyes meet, and Pen knows it is not Danni (her first love) and knows she has to meet her.
Opening Scene – Katie:
Outline:
INT. PEN’S DRESSING ROOM – NIGHT
BEGINNING: Pen flings open the door and stops mid-rant when she recognizes the woman from the audience.
MIDDLE: They stare at one another, and Pen reaches out a hand to draw her into the dressing room. Terry barges in and introduces them. The room is tense, and when Terry is called away Pen and Katie speak for the first time.
END: Terry returns and takes Katie away with him to the opening night party and Pen is left unsettled.
NOTE: Sorry these pages are a little late – I’m having some technical difficulty getting them in a form that can go onto the forum. So far this works best.
Pen’s Opening Scene:
INT. ONSTAGE – NIGHT
It is the final scene of the opening night of Antony and Cleopatra. The theatre is packed with critics, donors, board members, friends and family. PENELOPE PARRISH (known to most as PEN) is about to die onstage. By this time, the gold lamé of her costume is clammy with sweat against her skin, the weight of its jewel-encrusted glitter akin to wearing a gown made of chain mail. As strong as her yoga-disciplined body is, she is exhausted at this point in the play.
PEN (AS CLEOPATRA)
As sweet as balm, as soft as air, as gentle –
O Antony! – Nay, I will take thee too.
Applies another asp to her arm. She suddenly catches a glimpse of a face in the audience that reminds her of her first love, dead fifteen years ago. She hides her shock and says her final line.
What should I stay –
Cleopatra dies – The sounds of the other characters and their dialogue in the final moments of the play are muted – Pen collapses as if dead while trying to get another look at the woman in the audience but from the floor she can’t see well enough.
PETER (AS CAESAR)
Our army shall in solemn show attend this funeral,
And then to Rome. Come, Dolabella, see
High order in this great solemnity.
Lights dim, theatre darkens. There is a roar of applause and cheering.
TERRY
Pen?
In the dark, he helps her to her feet, and they move backstage for the curtain call. The lights come up and the company does its curtain call, building to Pen and Terry coming out together as Antony and Cleopatra. The crowd is on its feet, the applause louder than ever. Pen and Terry bow together as she tries to glance through the audience to find the woman who reminded her of Danni.
Terry leads her forward for her to take a solo curtain call and she curtsies almost to the floor, nod and smiles at board members and donors she recognizes.
A head tilted in a certain way catches her attention and she looks closer. It is the woman she’d seen before. She confirms it is not Danni and hides the disappointment that crushed her wild hope for a miracle.
The woman catches her staring and returns the stare, lifting her chin at Pen’s scrutiny. Pen moved as if to leave the stage and Terry grabs her hand, holding her.
TERRY
Where are you going? They’re bringing your roses, brat!
Pen goes through the presentation with grace, hiding her impatience. Finally, they take one more bow and the entire company leaves the stage.
Katie’s Opening Scene
INT. PEN’S DRESSING ROOM – NIGHT
The door slams and Pen drops into a gilt chair. In a rage, she grabs one shoe off her foot and flings it at the door. Someone knocks.
PEN
Damn!
She gets up, hobbles over on one shoe to pick up the other and wrenches the door open with a snarl.
What do you – ?
It is the woman from the audience, whose face is alight with a smile. Their eyes lock. Pen feels light-headed.
The shoe drops from her fingers and, suddenly free, her hand seeks the hand of the young woman, who doesn’t pull away. When Pen backs into the room, she follows without protest.
Pen sees an open, ingenuous countenance, with an ardent spark that glimmers in her eyes. Her smile fades, remembering Pen’s angry tone, though she doesn’t back away.
The fingertips of Pen’s free hand stretch up to her face to trace the beckoning curve of a cheek. Her eyes are clear and candid as they meet Pen’s, with no flirtation or mockery in her gaze.
Her face is framed by hair that is dark and thick, cut in a comfortable style rather than a modish one. Clothing too, is appropriate for an opening night, but understated. No one would look twice as she passed. She isn’t beautiful, yet the total picture is charming.
When she looks closer, Pen sees a shade of awkwardness in the tilt of her head, the uncertainty that just misses being gauche. There is also a hint of steel in the straightness of her back, a suggestion of inner strength that puts Pen on her guard. And there is a gravity in the young woman’s expression that indicates experience of the dark and coming through it.
Pen’s thumb brushes against the softness of her lips. Pen swallows, draws her closer, and the woman’s eyes widen.
TERRY
(From the hall)
Pen?
Pen drops her hand, and they move apart. Pen puts the chair between them, and they turn to face the open door. Terry appears in the door frame.
Women love him, for all the good it does them. He is handsome, with cropped dark blond hair and snapping brown eyes. His body seems coiled, as if ready for the hero inside to spring into action.
Everything all right, Pen? They’re looking for you at the party.
He recognizes the other woman and his face lights up.
Oh good, you’ve met.
UNKNOWN VOICE OUTSIDE
Terry, they need you!
TERRY
Sorry, I’ll be right back.
Pen tugs her shoe off so both feet are free and picks up the one on the floor.
PEN
Please sit down.
She gestures toward the chair and sits on the chaise lounge.
I’m sure Terry would have introduced us eventually.
KATE
My name is Kate. Kate Finnegan.
PEN
Lovely to meet you, Kate Finnegan.
Terry bounds into the room.
TERRY
Sorry Kate, Pen. Have you introduced yourselves?
With a grin at Kate, he sits next to Pen on the chaise lounge and gives her a hug.
PEN
Yes, we have.
He picks up her shoe from the floor and hands it to her.
TERRY
You must finish dressing before you can join the party,
brat. Is that what kept you?
PEN
No Sebastian came to see me.
TERRY
What did Sebastian want?
He drops down to one knee and slips the shoes on her feet. With a pat on her knee, he moved back to the chaise.
Now you’re ready.
PEN
Sebastian wanted to talk about next season.
TERRY
I see.
PEN
Can’t you change his mind?
TERRY
Don’t you want to do Private Lives?
PEN
Of course. But Viola in Twelfth Night? It’s such a dull,
depressing part. She’s a silly little fool.
KATE
But Viola is wonderful! Her love for Orsino is so unselfish and noble.
Pen glares at her and Kate flushes and stops talking.
PEN
Are you the graduate student Terry’s been emailing?
KATE
Yes.
Pen looks at her for a long moment then turns to Terry.
PEN
Twelfth Night is different for you. What are you
playing? Malvolio? Toby?
TERRY
No.
PEN
Really? Feste, then?
Terry’s face reddens a little.
Oh, Terry, you aren’t playing Sir Andrew Aguecheek?
TERRY
Settle down, brat.
He gets up and paces around the dressing room, then turns to her with a grin.
You don’t think I’d make a good fop?
She stares in disbelief and his grin disappears.
No, I’m not playing Andrew. As it happens,
I’m playing Orsino.
PEN
You’re not serious?
TERRY
Completely. Sebastian asked what I wanted to play,
and I chose Orsino.
PEN
Terry, are you mad? Orsino is even more of a nothing
role than Viola. What can you be thinking?
Kate shifts in her chair and Terry catches her eye and shakes his head. Pen is shocked at how well they seem to know one another. Terry turns back to her.
TERRY
I’m not afraid of playing any part. And I always thought Viola would be more believable if she had an Orsino worth loving.
PEN
You can’t do that to yourself, Terry.
TERRY
Would you rather I wasn’t in it at all?
PEN
Don’t be an ass. I told Sebastian I wouldn’t do it.
And that’s not the point. We always act together.
We’ve been partners since mixed infants.
TERRY
Yes, and I’ve done parts without you. Maybe it’s
time for you to do the same.
PEN
Don’t be ridiculous. If you want to sacrifice yourself,
I’m not going to tell you that you can’t. But it’s mad.
Terry shrugs and goes to the door. He meets her glare with a steady look.
TERRY
Grow up, Pen. This is good for the company.
You are part of the company, even if you
hate to admit it. Act like it.
He opens the door and walks out, and Kate gets up to go with him. The door closes behind them and the click of the latch echoes in the room.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by Carol Dougherty. Reason: tinkering with the format
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This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by
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