-
Day 11 Assignments
Reply to post your assignments.
-
6 Replies
-
Tim Barley’s Scene Requirements
What I learned from doing this assignment is that, along with lesson 10, this was a great way to break down or break into pieces the expansion of each scene.
BEAT SHEET: PASS #1
TEASER
INT. HOSPITAL 25 YEARS AGO – NIGHT
Alex’s father and mother drag him to a hospital room. Alex’s dad leaves him with his mom and closes the door behind him. A bright light glows under the door.
Start: Alex enters the area outside a hospital room.
Challenging Situation: Confusing with all the adults talking over him.
Conflict: Alex wants to be in that room, but only his father goes.
Action: His mother pulls him away as his father enters the room that glows.
Finish: Alex stands away but can feel the glow on his face.
ACT 1:
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Alex snaps to attention as his boss is speaking to him to carry more of the load. Billy comes by and says they’re taking the new girl, Feenix out and to come along.
Start: Alex is daydreaming about his past in the office.
Challenging Situation: Boss throws more work at him.
Conflict: More work on his desk, friends want to help, boss HATES that.
Action: Billy talks Alex into coming out with them.
Finish: Alex is convinced to go out with them.
INT. CLUB – EVENING
The group is talking at a booth. Alex gets up to get drinks. A woman strikes up a conversation with him. He looks like he’s going to close the deal. She walks away. Feenix is there. They smile at each other.
Start: A few people from the office are sitting in a booth with the new girl, grilling her.
Challenging Situation: Alex grows bored and goes to get drinks.
Conflict: At the bar, he starts talking to a girl
Action: Looks like he might charm her, but at the last moment he loses concentration.
Finish: He’s left standing at the bar, now staring at Feenix.
EXT. ALEX’S APARTMENT – LATER
Alex arrives home to find his neighbor, Allistar, sitting on their landing, smoking a bong. He offers up one to Alex, who partakes. Allistar says he’s sorry that he didn’t hook up tonight even though he could’ve as Alex passes out.
Start: Alex finds Allistar sitting outside, enjoying the evening.
Challenging Situation: Alex finds that Allistar knows too much about the night.
Conflict: Whether or not to hit the bong.
Action: Hits the bong.
Finish: Alex has passed out not finding out what Allistar meant.
ACT 2:
INT. ALEX’S APARTMENT – MORNING
Alex wakes up confused. He gets ready for work and leaves.
Start: Alex wakes up groggy with questions about last night.
Challenging Situation: Running late for work
Conflict: Getting ready quickly
Action: Races through is apartment, stuff just seems ready for him
Finish: Ready and out the door in record time.
EXT. ALLISTAR’S APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS
Alex knocks and Allistar opens the door. Alex asks about last night. Allistar said he didn’t know what he was talking about.
Start: Alex is ready and has enough time to stop by Allistar’s
Challenging Situation: Asking questions of a very hungover/stoned Allistar
Conflict: Not forthcoming on what he knew about last night.
Action: hard line of questioning
Finish: Alex leaves with more questions than answers.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
All hands staff meeting. More work for Alex. He’s dejected. Billy says he’ll help. Feenix volunteers. Boss not happy with this.
Start: Boring staff meeting
Challenging Situation: More work being thrown at Alex
Conflict: The load of work seems personal.
Action: Billy and Feenix volunteer to help Alex. Boss not happy, but Feenix asserts herself
Finish: Alex, Billy and Feenix have a ton of work to do tonight.
INT. COFFEE HOUSE – EVENING
Alex orders coffee. His coffee house nemesis barista makes it not the way Alex wants it. It’s been a bad day and Alex just wishes it had been made right. There’s a jolt, like a bad edit, and another barista hands him his order.
Start: Alex is getting coffee for those working.
Challenging Situation: Alex orders from the one barista that doesn’t seem to like him, getting his order wrong.
Conflict: Alex channels his anger into thinking that he should get the right order.
Action: There’s a “hiccup” and the drink explodes in the barista’s face as another barista has. his order ready and correct for him simultaneously.
Finish: Bewildered but glad, Alex walks out with his order and back toward the office.
EXT. DARK STREET – LATER
A shadow breaks free from another bigger shadow in Alex’s path. Concerned, he turns and crosses the street. Another one appears. They are human shaped figures, but no discernible features; black on shades of black. Alex runs.
Start: Alex walks toward the office
Challenging Situation: Dark street with lots of shadows
Conflict: The “No Things” attack
Action: He’s attacked and he runs, dropping the coffee.
Finish: He’s running away
EXT. ALLEYWAY – CONTINUOUS
Alex runs into a group of muggers. About to mug him when the No Things approach and dispatch the muggers, who die screaming. Sirens approach. Alex runs. A hand grabs him and pulls him aside. It’s his neighbor. On the building above someone is watching.
Start: Alex is running from the strange creatures
Challenging Situation: He runs into a group of muggers
Conflict: Alex is caught between muggers and No Things.
Action: The No Things try to go through the muggers to get to Alex
Finish: The muggers are slaughtered, sirens are approaching as Allistar grabs him and pulls him away from the scene
ACT 3:
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Allistar leads a bewildered Alex away from the gathering flashers of police cars, trying to answer Alex’s questions while leading them home.
Start: Alex is not sure what is happening as they head for home
Challenging Situation: It’s night, dark and they are sticking to lighted areas as they avoid the police.
Conflict: Allistar is not answering Alex’s questions
Action: they are running back toward home
Finish: They’re on the run, fleeing the scene toward home.
INT. BOMBED OUT BUILDING – UNKNOWN
Edris and 12 other men are bound on their knees, threatened with beheading. He pretends. not to understand their language until just before they cut his throat. He calmly tells them what is going to happen before dispatching the terrorists. Private merc types burst in, taking the other men out. He’s given a dossier. Opens it; it’s a picture of Alex.
Start: Unknown situation with Edris and 12 others who appear captured and set for death
Challenging Situation: Bound and hooded, awaiting death
Conflict: The terrorists in the room want them dead
Action: Edris talks them into taking off his hood. Then gag, then he kills them all as clandestine, private military types charge in.
Finish: Edris hands over his fellow kidnappees as he is handed a dossier with Alex’s picture in it.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Allistar and Alex have made their way almost home. A black car pulls up. Like the No Things, it doesn’t really have boundaries. The No Things get out. Allistar readies for a fight, but another figure drops down in front of them and blinds the No Things away. She turns around, it’s Feenix. Allistar is not pleased.
Start: The two are still moving, almost home
Challenging Situation: They’re so close to home when they are cornered again by the dark men
Conflict: The No Things stand between them and the safety of home.
Action: Feenix arrives and saves them by blasting the No Things with a blinding light
Finish: As Alex’s sight comes back, he sees Feenix standing in front of him.
ACT 4:
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Feenix asks if Alex is alright, much to Allistar’s complaining, then moves them to Alex’s apartment.
Start: The three are standing under a street lamp, getting their bearings
Challenging Situation: Safe but out of breath, Alex and Allistar wants answers
Conflict: Feenix won’t fill them in until they are back to Alex’s
Action: She leads them toward home, telling Alex to stop emanating. He doesn’t know what that means.
Finish: They arrive home.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Feenix and Allistar argue. It’s apparent they are siblings. What they are talking about doesn’t make sense to Alex. He says to tell him or get out.
Start: They stand on the doorstep as Alex opens the door
Challenging Situation: Lots of questions. No answers and now Feenix and Allistar are cross with each other
Conflict: Alex wants answers. The other two want to argue with each other
Action: Alex calls a timeout and gets some answers
Finish: Alex tells them goodnight and they are left on his doorstep. They acquiesce. Alex lets them in.
EXT. SMALL AIRPORT LA – NIGHT
Edris. now dressed impeccably, disembarks the jet to a waiting driver, They drive off.
Start: A private jet taxis and Edris disembarks
Challenging Situation: Where to start with Alex?
Conflict: Edris needs to find the best way to start with Alex
Action: He gets into the town car
Finish: He tells the driver to take him to “the offices.” Car pulls away.
ACT 5:
INT. ALEX’ APARTMENT – SUNRISE
Alex seems flabbergasted. He tells them it can’t be true. They tell him his real name. His real father, the mother he doesn’t speak to and his inheritance. They leave.
Start: They’ve been up all night.
Challenging Situation: Alex has a hard time believing what they said
Conflict: This can’t be real.
Action: Alex fights them on every answer they give him about his family.
Finish: he tells them to get out
EXT. ALEX’S APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS
Feenix and Allistar talk about what’s going on. Allistar is pissed. Alex comes out ready for work.
Start: Feenix and Allistar stand on the landing looking at the sunrise
Challenging Situation: Allistar is pissed he’s being monitored
Conflict: Older sister tells younger brother he fucked up
Action: They wrestle with each, not serious at first, but it gets tense as they fall into Allistar’s apartment.
Finish: They hear Alex closing and locking his door. Feenix comes out, smiles. Alex tells her it’s a work day…
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Bill stops by and asks questions about Alex’s night. Tells him of the investigation into the muggers. Billy leaves some files about some historical items that “are wrong.” Alex questions how he knows. Just does.
Start: Alex enters the office as Billy makes a beeline for him, telling him about the killings.
Challenging Situation: Billy asks what happened to him after he went out to get coffee
Conflict: How to lie credibly to Billy
Action: He tells Billy a lie and asks what he has for him
Finish: Billy shares his files on some history that isn’t right, leading Alex to ask how he knows it. “I just do.”
INT. OFFICE – EVENING
Alex leaves with Feenix looking on.
Start: Alex is packing up to leave the office
Challenging Situation: Feenix stops by his desk
Conflict: How can he talk to her with all this new knowledge running around his brain
Action: He tells her he needs time. She tells him to be careful
Finish: He leaves like he always does
INT. ALEX’ APARTMENT – EVENING
Alex enters to find Edris there wanting to “tell him the truth.”
Start: Long day. Glad to be home.
Challenging Situation: There is a strange, charismatic man in his home
Conflict: What to do about the strange man
Action: Alex arms himself, but Edris says he won’t need it
Finish: Alex sits
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>BEAT SHEET: PASS #2:
TEASER
INT. HOSPITAL 25 YEARS AGO – NIGHT
An 8-year old Alex is with his mother and father outside a hospital room. There’s talk of his father’s father speaking about “Dark Men” and “being chased.” He wants to go with his dad into the room, but his mother holds him tightly. He breaks free and tries to open the door, but can’t. His mother pulls him away as a glow seeps under the door. He can feel the warmth of it as the light floods the whole scene…
ACT 1:
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Alex snaps out of his daydream as his boss drops more work on his desk with smug satisfaction. Billy, a hulking young go-getter and the new girl, Feenix, offer to help, but the boss yells at them to get back to their desk. Billy lingers and says that they taking out the new girl for drinks and socialize and he should come. Alex hems and haws but Billy wears him down and Alex agrees.
INT. CLUB – EVENING
The group is talking at a booth in a fancy bar, asking Feenix all about her. Alex, as is typical not wanting to get too into personal lives, gets up to get drinks. At the bar, a woman strikes up a conversation with him. He turns on the charm and looks like he’s going to close the deal. And then it fizzles out, he says something stupid and she walks away. Feenix is there. They smile at each other. She laughs and holds her fingers closely, mouthing “sooooo close…” Alex pays the bill, and walks back with beers.
EXT. ALEX’S APARTMENT – LATER
Alex arrives home to find his stoner neighbor, Allistar, sitting on their landing, smoking a bong. He offers up one to Alex, who thinks about whether or not he should smoke tonight. He partakes. As the pot is hitting him, Allistar says he’s sorry that he didn’t hook up tonight even though he could’ve. Alex tries to grasp at this, looking at Allistar, who seems so far away and so ancient. “What?” “Yeah, she was cute.” Alex desperately tries to cling to alertness but is drawn down into sleep.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 2:
INT. ALEX’S APARTMENT – MORNING
Alex wakes up confused and groggy, questions swirling inside his head. He looks at his phone and panics when he realizes he’s going to be late. He jumps into action, getting ready. Everything is in its place and he is ready in record time, surprising himself. AND, he feels so much more alive than he did minutes ago!
EXT. ALLISTAR’S APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS
Realizing he has time, Alex locks up his apartment and knocks on Allistar’s door. Allistar is annoyingly hungover and still stoned and not much help even at Alex’s insistence for answers. Allistar wishes him a good day. He never does that…
INT. OFFICE – DAY
The entire office is in a late day all hands staff meeting. It’s boring and it shows. But, the sadistic self-please boss has more work for Alex to do. The boss is not happy when Billy and Feenix offer to help with the workload, but when Feenix assertively says that it must be important needs to get done, he feels compelled to allow it. The meeting breaks up and they agree to work in here as their “war room.” Alex says that he’ll make a coffee run.
INT. COFFEE HOUSE – EVENING
Alex is in the coffee house, making their oder. The d-bag coffee house nemesis barista seemingly purposely makes Alex’s order incorrectly, something he apparently always does just to fuck with Alex. Alex seethes, closes his eyes and wishes this coffee gone and the correct order in his hands without this usual bullshit. There’s a jolt, like a bad edit, and the d-bag barista confusedly hands him an empty cup, as another barista hands him his order, wishing him a good nigh
EXT. DARK STREET – LATER
Alex is walking back to the office with coffees in hand. Up ahead, a shadow breaks free from another bigger shadow in Alex’s path and rises up in the shape of a black suited man. He stops dead in his tracks and watches it. It moves toward him. Alex crosses the street as another shadow man appears. They are human shaped, in black suits and hats, but no discernible features. The second one moves toward him. He drops the coffee and runs down the center of the street and corner for his building.
EXT. ALLEYWAY – CONTINUOUS
Alex runs into a group of three ne-er-do-wells aka muggers. He doesn’t even stop as they are about to mug him, tripping and falling against a car and onto the sidewalk. The shadows round the corner and cut through the muggers, who die screaming. Alex sits and watches as they turn toward him. He scrambles up and can hear sirens approach. Alex runs, not sure which way to go now. A hand grabs him and pulls him into a doorway. It’s his neighbor. On the building above, a dark figure is watching.
ACT 3:
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Alex is breathing hard and confused as Allistar leads him away from the gathering flashers of police cars, trying to answer Alex’s questions while leading them home. It’s dark and even though they are trying not to be seen, they are traveling in the well-lit parts of the street. Allistar won’t answer questions, but is telling him to run. They come to an area they recognize and slow down a bit, knowing they are on the right track home.
INT. BOMBED OUT BUILDING – DAY
13 men are bound on their knees, threatened with beheading. One is being held with a knife to his throat. He pretends not to understand their language, but speaks fluently as they are about to kill him. He calmly tells them he can’t die and what is going to happen next. They all laugh. But, Edris convinces his captor to make his hood off, and then he quickly somehow kills every terrorist as a unit of private merc types burst in, taking the last man out. They are mad they didn’t get any fun, but Edris tells his mercs that the hooded bound men are equally bad and they can be taken to The Vault. He’s given a dossier by their leader. He pens it and finds a picture of Alex.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Allistar and Alex have made their way almost home. But, a black old style car races up. Like its occupants, it doesn’t really have boundaries either. The No Things get out. Allistar readies for a fight, ready to defend Alex, but another figure drops down in front of them and blinds the No Things away. She turns around, it’s Feenix. Both Alex and Allistar are in awe. She tells them they have to get out of here now.
ACT 4:
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
They are all walking in silence. For Alex it’s confusion, not knowing how to ask questions. For Allistar and Feenix, it’s something else. Feenix asks if Alex is alright. Alex says he is. She holds his hands and tells him to control his breathing and his heart rate and stop emanating. Alex says he doesn’t know what that means and as Allistar is about to say something. Feenix tells him to shut the fuck up and gives Alex a bottle of water to drink. They get back to the apartment building in silence.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Alex lets himself in and Feenix says she’ll be in in a second. Allistar moves toward his apartment when Feenix lays into him. Alex can hear they talking It’s apparent they are siblings. What they are talking about doesn’t make sense to Alex. Something about watching him. About his family. There’s more, so he opens the door and tells them to answer questions or get away from him. They come in.
EXT. SMALL PRIVATE AIRPORT IN LA – NIGHT INTO INT. MOVING LIMO
Edris now cleaned up and now dressed impeccably, disembarks the jet to a waiting car, the driver nodding quietly. They drive off. He leafs through the dossier. Where to start? He looks at family history. Names. Companies. Father. Mother. Ancient runes and texts and trees and things we can’t comprehend… He tells the driver they need to go to The Offices.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>ACT 5:
INT. ALEX’ APARTMENT – SUNRISE
It’s been a long night. Alex is tired and looking at them in disbelief. He tells them none of it can be true. It’s impossible. They tell him his real name. His real father, the mother he doesn’t speak to and his inheritance. What he must do. What he must become. Now he feels angry. His life yesterday was his. Boring. Even-keeled. Just the way he liked it. He tells them to get out. They leave.
EXT. ALEX’S APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS
Feenix and Allistar talk about what’s going on. Allistar is pissed and asks why she is here. She tells them that she’s here because the family asked her to take the lead. Older sister has to tell her baby brother that he has fucked up. They start fighting, small at first like brother and sister, but it gets intense as they knock down Allistar’s door. Outside, they hear Alex coming out of his apartment, ready for work. “It’s a work day.” Allistar asks what they fuck. Feenix says it’s a concoction, thinking it would work last night. But, it took longer than expected and it won’t last forever…
INT. OFFICE – DAY
Alex walks into the office as makes a beeline for his desk just as he reaches it. He asks Alex what happened to him last night and about the muggers getting killed and the investigation. Alex tells Billy that he ran into some friends and lost track of time. Billy tells him that he was left all night to work on everything but he didn’t mind. He leaves some files about some historical items that “are wrong.” Alex questions how he knows. He says he just does.
INT. OFFICE – EVENING
Alex packs up his stuff to leave for the night. Feenix is looking on and Alex smiles at her, ways goodnight. He smiles back and she tells him to be careful. She is worried about how long the drug will work.
INT. ALEX’ APARTMENT – EVENING
Alex enters his dark apartment feeling something is wrong. He turns on the light to find a charismatic Edris sitting in his favorite chair. Edris tells him he is there to set the record straight. Alex says he has no idea what he is talking about. Edris says, “Oh, my dear Feenix, what. Did. You. Do?”
-
Subject line: (Laurie Brown’s) Beat Sheet
What I learned from this assignment is how to keep descriptions short with action.
BEAT SHEET: THE CORP TRUTH
Teaser:
Essence: Geri Martin adores her mother and would do anything to make her happy, including being a fill-in for her cold, absent father, until she finds her mother in a pool of blood.
INT. MARTIN KITCHEN – DAY
Geri (15) pretends to be her father, Col. Martin, to her depressed mother Bonnie Martin, in a monologue aimed at making up for him missing their anniversary. She promises a special surprise and dinner at the Officer’s Club.
Start: Geri eats breakfast pretending to be her father and her mom is laughing and having fun
Challenging Situation: Her mother is unhappy because her father isn’t home on their anniversary
Conflict: Geri takes the pills away from her mom and says she doesn’t need them today, It’s
going to be a good day.
Action: she plays the pretend good husband and says she has a surprise tonight before they go out
to dinner
Finish: As Geri heads off for school her mom takes her valium.
EXT SCHOOL – DAY
Geri races the taunting boys out the door with something in her hand that she is racing home to share her special surprise with her mom. She jimmies the locked door and runs in to find her mom dead in a pool of blood.’s
Turning Point: Geri finds her mom in a pool of blood a hat and $100 bill at the scene.
Start: Gerry is happy and excited and beating the boys in a race
Challenging Situation: The boys taunt her when she runs and she’s in a hurry.
Conflict: She gets home and the door is locked!
Action: She jimmies the lock like she knows how, runs into the kitchen
Finish: Finds her mother in a pool of blood.
Act 1:
Essence: Geri takes the hat and a snaps a photo of the scene and swears to solve her mysterious death once she has the power she needs to bring the perpetrator to justice.
INT. MARTIN KITCHEN – DAY
An Army hat, identical to her paper hat is at the scene. She puts on the hat and reads her mom her report card. She searches the house for a camera and takes a photo vowing to find the cause of her death but first she must gain the power she needs to bring the perpetrator to justice. Then KNOCK on the door.
Start: Geri drops her paper hat in the blood next to an identical Army hat.
Challenging Situation: Challenge her need for security and loyalty and goal to make her mother
happy. Now her mother is dead.
Conflict: What can she do now for her mother? Is that her father’s hat?
Action: She looks around the house suspiciously. She comes back with a camera. She moves the
hat and takes a picture.
Finish: She puts on the hat and reads her report card to her mom. Someone knocks on the door.
INT. JOHNSON LIVING ROOM – DAY
Mrs. Johnson’s makes nasty remarks about Col Martin as the Police interrogate him. Losing his temper he calls off the investigation as the house is in his jurisdiction – the Army base.
EXT. MARTIN HOUSE – DAY
The police leave and Col Martin goes into the house and brings the cat to Mrs. Johnson. Geri runs out begs to go with him. He says no, he’ll be back in the morning. He asks her about the hat? She lies that it wasn’t there. He says he doesn’t mean the stupid paper hat. Geri grabs the cat.
INT. Mrs. Johnson’s Kitchen
At breakfast, Mrs. Johnson tells Geri about her father’s plans for her. Geri, through her tears declares that will be perfect for what she has in mind.
Turning Point: Colonel Martin picks up Geri and they drive off as the cat looks on from the front yard. Geri looks strong and sure of herself.
Start: Geri watches her father and police from Mrs. Johnson’s window as Mrs. J makes snide remarks about CM– Geri keeps wiping off the table, Mrs. Johnson is not surprised.
Challenging Situation: The police are questioning her dad about her mom’s death. What will happen to her?
Conflict: Mrs. Johnson disparages CM. Col Martin and police argue about jurisdiction. Col Martin and Geri argue about her staying or going with him and about where’s the hat. Says her stupid paper hat is in the mess your mother made. Mrs. Johnson disparages CM.
Action: CM claims jurisdiction and calls off the investigation. Mrs. J tells Geri her destiny.
Finish: Colonel Martin and Geri drive off after breakfast. Cat meowing, Geri acting strong.
Act 2:
Essence: Col Martin drops Geri at Military school entrusting her with his friend Headmaster Learned who says he will “take good care of her”.
INT. Military School Office – Day
The headmaster acts strange around Col. Until Geri steps out. CM says he would love for Learned to come to his swearing in ceremony but it’s for military personal only. Geri tells them her goal to be a Colonel. CM rolls his eyes. Learned promises that he will take good care of her – like Leonard.
Start: HL & CM talk about Geri when she is right there. She gets shushed after she excitedly tells them what she hopes to accomplish in military school.
Challenging Situation: Geri has no say in anything and has no idea what this will mean.
Conflict: Then Geri’s stated expectations and hopes counter to CM’s who rolls his eyes.
Action: CM tells HL to teach Geri what it means to be a girl in the military.
Finish: Geri feels very insecure and shut down.
EXT. Military School – Day
Learned gives Geri a tour of the campus. The girls make snide remarks. The boys look over Geri and make cat-calls. Learned comes on the scene and physically threatens Leonard for violating boy’s curfew. Now he’ll have girl’s curfew. Leonard makes a smart-ass remark and HL hits him.
Start: CL and Geri take a friendly tour. School is out and the students crowd around.
Challenging Situation: Geri gets cat-calls and snide remarks.
Conflict: HL spots Leonard and calls him over.
Action: Leonard makes a snide remark and the group laughs.
Finish: Learned hits him. The students disperse. Geri looks scared.
INT. MILITARY SCHOOL BUNK HOUSE – NIGHT
After the tour, HL takes Geri to her bedroom and searches Geri’s bags. Bette and Marge look on from either side of Geri’s curtained bunk.
Turning Point: Headmaster Learned finds the hat and threatens her graduation if she says anything to anyone about the hat. Ever. Geri cleans her bed area and goes to the bathroom and starts washing her hands.
Start: HL being positive about Geri liking it there. Geri meets Bette and Marge.
Challenging Situation: Learned wants to look through her stuff. This is her new home.
Conflict: He grabs her bag and pushes her away.
Action: He finds the hat and confiscates it.
Finish: He threatens her graduation if she every talks about it or looks for it again.
Act 3:
Essence: Geri she makes friends with girls, especially Bette – but not so much Marge. Geri searches everywhere, everyday after school for the hat.
EXT. School yard – Day
Geri races the boys and gets the girls respect, especially Bette, who comes from an athletic family. Marge, Bette’s best friend acts jealous.
Start: Geri gets talked into a race with the school’s best female runner. It’s Marge.
Challenging Situation: It’s win or be bullied even more.
Conflict: The boys are watching and rooting for Marge and challenge Geri to beat her, Geri says
next them.
Action: Geri beats Marge, then Leonard. They go off to lick their wounds.
Finish: All the girls respect Geri now. Especially Bette is impressed.
SERIES OF SCENES
MOVING – Geri runs from the playing field and scours the campus. She looks everywhere, then goes back to the Dining Hall. REPEAT.
INT. BUNK HOUSE – NIGHT
Geri awakens to voices and a curtain being pulled between her and Marge’s bed. Then she notices someone is in her bed. Bette shushes her and they listen and think it is Headmaster Learned. They hold each other in fear and fall back to sleep. She dreams of being held by her mother as a little girl.
Start: Geri awakens to voices and a curtain pulling
Challenging Situation: Someone is in Marge’s bed
Conflict: She gets scared – someone is in her bed. It’s Bette.
Action: Bette shushes her and pulls her down, where they listen
Finish: They do in night after night until Bette kisses her.
Start: Now a regular, Bette climbs in Geri’s bed the next night.
Challenging Situation: Geri is dreaming of being with her mother. Very tender.
Conflict: Bette kisses her and she freaks out.
Action: Geri jumps out of bed and calls Bette a pervert.
Finish: Bette feels rejected. Geri washes her hands.
Start: For each character – show where they start out as friends.
Challenging Situation: Each had their own goal. Show how they made it.
Conflict: Marge and Geri overlapped on academic excellence; opposite re: Learned
Action: They all accomplished their goals as is illustrated by the photos
Finish: Focus on the end picture, but highlight that the difference is that Geri is alone. Bette is
with a boy and Marge is with HL.
Next night, Geri is awakened again and scared Bette gets in bed with her, they cuddle. She dreams of being held by her mother as a little girl. She awakens when Bette kisses her. Geri accuses her of being a pervert. Bette breaks into tears and runs from the room. Geri wipes up the area around her bed and goes to the bathroom and washes her hands.
Series of scenes
Photos of Bette, Marge and Geri changing from 15 to 18. Geri showing her rank increasing on her uniform. Bette with new boyfriends on her side, one after the other. Marge with academics honors, Learned often at her side.
EXT. SCHOOL YARD – DAY
The teachers set up chairs for graduation as Geri is runs all over campus looking for the hat. Headmaster Learned is signing diplomas. Makes Marge Valedictorian. Sets aside Geri’s. Bette’s parents show up with a new convertible for graduation. Bette tells her parents she will not go to the family’s alma mater or marry Ron Paul!
Start: Beautiful spring day – everyone happy – except Geri who can’t find something and is desparately looking everywhere.
Challenging Situation: She doesn’t have much time. Bette’s super rich parents and their agenda.
Conflict: If she gets caught she could not graduate?
Action: Learned gives Marge valedictorian, signs Bette’s, does he sign Geri’s
Finish: Will Geri graduate?
EXT. MILITARY CAMPUS – DAY
Marge crosses the stage for her diploma, then Bette and at the end Geri. After she gets it, she immediately takes off running, ransacks Learned’s office and shows back up at the reception to meet up with Colonel Martin. At the reception, Bette tells her parents she will not go to the family’s alma mater or marry Ron Paul in spite of her graduation gift – a car!
Start: Geri is nervous and itchy waiting to get diploma
Challenging Situation: Still doesn’t have the hat.
Conflict: Last chance and both Learned and Colonel Martin are both hovering
Action: She runs to Learned’s office, finds something, and gets back to the reception
Finish: An accomplished Geri talks to her father, cool as a cucumber
EXT. MILITARY SCHOOL CAMPUS – DAY
Geri talks to her father, Colonel Martin, at the reception. They argue about Geri’s plan for her future. Geri cuts the conversation short when CM flags down Learned. Learned takes him to get the hat. It’s gone. Colonel loses it over Learned’s messy incompetence while Geri and Bette speed toward the next leg of their journey.
Start: Geri is nervous about the hat talking to her dad.
Challenging Situation: Geri is nervous being with her Dad after such a long time.
Conflict: She wants to get into the Army and he’s against it. She wants to go to nurse’s school he
wants her to get married. They argue.
Action: Geri cuts the conversation short and he goes with Learned to get the hat. It’s gone.
Finish: Geri, Bette and Marge take off care free with the hat and diploma in hand toward the next
leg of her journey. Valedictorian, Convertible and the hat
Act 4:
Essence: Five Years Later. Geri, Bette and Marge graduate from nurse’s school and go to work for the Army. Geri meets Leo at the Officer’s club.
INT. HOSPITAL AUDITORIUM – DAY
Geri introduces her new commanding officer Lt. Leo Dahnert to Col. Martin who who act formal until Geri walks away. Then Col Martin invites him to his office.
Start: Geri is not exactly happy about seeing her dad there.
Challenging Situation: He hasn’t been around since her graduation.
Conflict: She introduces dad to her commanding officer – Leo
Action: Colonel Martin wants to meet Leo in his office.
Finish: Geri wonders what’ s going on.
Start: Very friendly small talk with Leo in the office.
Challenging Situation: CM wants Leo to interfere with Geri’s career. Get her pregnant and get
married.
Conflict: But he is her commanding officer and wants her to succeed. Plus he is in love with
Marge.
Action: He accepts the promotion but says he will influence her but not make her unhappy.
Finish: CM says take good care of her, but not like he did in Korea (threat)
Start: Leo flirts with Geri. Ignores Marge.
Challenging Situation: Geri is new at officer’s club. Uncomfortable. Shy.
Conflict: He’ s flirting but he’ s her commanding officer.
Action: He asks her out.
Finish: Apologizes with Marge after Geri goes.
INT. DOI OFFICE – DAY
Colonel Martin promotes Leo as secret operative to the DOI. He instructs Leo to take good care of Geri, but not like you did in Korea. Leo says“Yes sir. I understand”
INT. OFFICER’S CLUB – NIGHT
Leo approaches Geri and Marge at Officer’s Club. He flirts with Geri. He tells Geri how he was hurt in combat in Korea and that is why he wears the eye patch. Geri likes him. After Geri leaves Leo apologizes to Marge.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Turning Point: Marge, who lives with Geri, comes in late, disheveled, but happy. She makes up a story. Geri says how much she likes Leo but asks if it’s okay to date your commanding officer. Marge tells Geri to STOP cleaning.
Start: Geri is cleaning the apartment, happy, not obsessively.
Challenging Situation: Marge comes in looking rough.
Conflict: Geri asks Marge what happens and Marge is put off
Action: Marge criticizes Geri for her compulsive nature
Finish: Geri goes to bed feeling like crap.
ACT. 5 Marge gets sick and quarantined and Leo gets engaged to Geri. INT. OFFICER’S CLUB – NIGHT
Leo wines and dines Geri with a jealous Marge staying home every night alone.
Start: Leo picks up thrilled Geri from the apartment and they go out.
Challenging Situation: Marge is feeling really jealous and left out.
Conflict: Geri tells Leo that Marge hasn’t been feeling well. Vomiting every morning.
Action: Leo is surprised and upset. He says next time she is sick she should call him.
Finish: Geri wonders why Leo seems so concerned about Marge.
Start: Marge is throwing up.
Challenging Situation: Geri is very concerned
Conflict: She says she is going to call Leo. Marge begs her not to.
Action: Leo takes Marge to the doctor in town.
Finish: Leo tells Geri that Marge has been put into isolation.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
Marge is throwing up violently. Geri calls Leo. Leo tells Marge she will have to go into isolation, under the rules of the Dept of Interior.
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Leo gives Geri an engagement ring after dinner. Geri is a virgin and very uncomfortable but makes love with Leo.
Start: Leo gives Geri a ring and she is blissful.
Challenging Situation: Geri is a virgin and Leo wants to make love.
Conflict: Geri wants to please Leo but wants to wait.
Action: Leo penetrates her and ejaculates.
Finish: Leo leaves and Geri strips the bed and lays in the tub washing herself compulsively.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
Geri gets sick like Marge. She covers it up. She’s planning a wedding plus she gets notified to show up at the Enlistment Office for her interview to join the Army.
Start: Series of scenes of showing Geri planning her wedding with Leo at the Officer’s club
Challenging Situation: Geri is not feeling well and her OCD is flaring when she hears that she has
been selected to go before the enlistment office.
Conflict: She must hide her OCD and current symptoms from the enlistment board
Action: She practices answering question in front of the mirror.
Finish: Leo asks her what’s going on. She says it’s her time of month.
Start: Geri is a nervous wreck in the Enlistment Office
Challenging Situation: She has a challenging interview and must cover up her illness and OCD.
Conflict: If she tells the truth she’s out. If she lies she will always live in fear that they find out.
Action: She wordsmith’s the interview brilliantly yet we are on the edge of our seats
Finish: She blows off Leo, exhausted and morally challenged by her lies.
ENLISTMENT OFFICE – DAY
Turning Point: Geri covers up her illness and OCD at the interview. She must lie about her pre-existing conditions and current state of health.
Act 6
Essence: Geri signs the paperwork and gets accepted into the Army but is conflicted about Leo contract she signed. She calls off her engagement.
INT. ENLISTMENT OFFICE – DAY
Geri reviews the health questionnaire and paperwork to join and signs. She calls Bette and mentions the paperwork. Bette tells her that she shouldn’t give up who she is simply for the career, making Geri angry. Geri writes down a phone number behind NYC.
Start: Geri learns she passes the interview and should come down and fill out the paperwork.
Challenging Situation: Geri gets asked about health conditions on the questionnaire
Conflict: Geri and Bette argue about joining the Army and what they must give up.
Action: Geri gets angry b
Finish: Geri writes down NYC and a telephone number.
Start: Geri meets Leo at Officer’s Club. She’s nervous. Leo’s happy.
Challenging Situation: Leo notices her change in demeanor and starts drilling her.
Conflict: She says she’ s conflicted.
Action: She calls of the engagement.
Finish: Leo’ s furious. She’ s relieved.
INT. OFFICER’S CLUB – DAY
Geri meets with Leo to plan the wedding but instead calls off their engagement giving no explanation. Leo over reacts and threatens Geri that she’ll never reach her goal as long as he is in charge. Geri walks out on him.
INT. ENLISTMENT OFFICE – DAY
Lock In: Geri takes some medicine and gets fitted for her Army Uniform. She requests to be stationed at the base she grew up on.
INT. BUS STATION – DAY
Dressed in her new Army Uniform, Geri boards a bus for NYC.Start: Geri takes milk of magnesia before breakfast and goes for a fitting.
Challenging Situation: She feels sick.
Conflict: How to hide her illness.
Action: Ask to go to base she grew up on.
Finish: Go to bus station. Board bus to NYC.
-
Assignment #11
Wendy Weising’s Scene Requirements
What I learned doing this assignment is that while my scenes are becoming simpler, they have more meaning.
TEASER
EXT. BATTLEFIELD—DAY
Jane, in full ancient battle gear, hesitates at the top of a hill. Her soldiers look at her for a sign to charge forward. Her second in command nudges her. Jane yells the charge and leads her small army into battle. When she finds the enemy leader, she knows him, and he knows her. She attacks him first. She pins him to the ground, but he knocks her sword away, so she grabs his throat and begins to squeeze hard.
Start: Leader of a small army
Challenging Situation: (Wound) Jane needs to be encouraged before advancing into battle because her father verbally abused her, causing her to lack confidence.
Conflict: Jane attacks the enemy’s leader, who knocks her sword away, so she pins him with her shield and begins to strangle him.
Action: When Jane first sees the enemy’s leader and he sees her, they are shocked. They know each other and apparently don’t like each other.
Finish: She pins the enemies leader to the ground and strangles him.
INT. BEDROOM—DAY
Jane is on top of her husband, Dan, squeezing his neck. She is fierce, and he is scared. He wrestles her off him, yells her name, and slaps her across the face. She wakes up. When he wants to know what’s got into her, she tells him about her dream. He laughs hysterically because she couldn’t hurt a fly.
Start: Jane is a warrior trying to kill her husband.
Challenging Situation: (Wound) Jane allows her husband to verbally abuse her because her father verbally abused her.
Conflict: When Jane doesn’t act the way she’s supposed to, her husband verbally abuses her.
Action: Jane is so intent on killing her husband in the dream that he has to use strong force to dislodge her.
Finish: Her husband demeans her.
ACT 1
EXT. SOCCER FIELD—DAY
Jane and her younger son, Michael, watch her son Josh play soccer. When Josh lets a ball into the goal and the coach belittles him loudly, Michael wants her to do something about it. She goes all the way down the stands and onto the field. When the coach turns on her, she immediately goes back to her seat.
Start: Jane tries to stand up for her son.
Challenging Situation: (Wound) Because Jane’s husband verbally abuses her, she is afraid to stand up to the coach who is doing the same thing.
Conflict: She struggles within herself to help her son.
Action: The getting up, going down the stands, and then returning to her seat show that she lacks the confidence to help her son.
Finish: She backs away and doesn’t help her son.
INT. FAMILY ROOM—EVENING
Josh and Michael are playing the new video game that Jane substituted for courage. As she hears aliens being killed on screen by her boys, she has a panic attack. To escape, Jane moves to the kitchen, where her sight is blurred.
Start: Jane has regained the boys favor by buying them a new video game.
Challenging Situation: (Need) Jane needs a peaceful environment without conflict, so she goes to the kitchen away from the sounds of killing.
Conflict: A feeling of terror is triggered inside her when she hears the game, and she has a panic attack.
Action: Moving from the boy’s room to the quiet of the kitchen. Why does the game bother her so much?
Finish: She tries to escape the noises of people being killed in the game.
INT. BEDROOM—DAY
Jane, now in tactical gear, is kidnapping someone’s kids. She tapes their mouths so that they cannot alert the parents. She can’t tape the baby’s mouth so she gives her a neon pink bear from her crib, which settles her down. The parents have hear the baby. Jane immobilizes them with a phaser. She goes to the window to ask for a help with two live adults, but when she turns around, the parents have disappeared.
Start: Jane is in control of her situation as she kidnaps a family.
Challenging Situation: (Goal) Jane’s mission is to kidnap the family, but she loses the parents.
Conflict: She must silence the kids so that she can secure them before the parents arrive, but the parents arrive and put up a fight.
Action: Although Jane is on task, she stops to give the baby a teddy bear. She isn’t heartless but just doing her job.
Finish: The parents disappear, causing Jane to lose control of her situation.
INT. KITCHEN—EVENING
Dan shakes Jane awake. He jerks her to her feet and wants to know where dinner is. He wants a glass of wine stat! Dan puts his feet up and turns on the TV. She pours more than wine into the glass. She adds a little liquid laxative to it. She smiles as she serves him.
Start: Jane’s husband wakes her up and shows no concern that she is on the floor.
Challenging Situation: (Value) Jane is tired of being abused, so she is quietly defiant.
Conflict: Her husband jerks her to her feet and tells her to pour him a glass of wine. She pours more than wine into his glass.
Action: She smiles after giving the glass to her husband because she has just defied him.
Finish: Jane mixes liquid laxative into his glass of wine.
ACT 2
INT. DINING ROOM—EVENING
At the dinner table, Dan asks about the new games, and the boys shame their mom because of her failure at the soccer game. Dan laughs and allows the boys to leave the table. Dan hoists Jane onto his lap, calls her his Sweet Tart. He begins kissing Jane and whispering that he will take care of everything. He unbuttons her shirt and just puts his mouth on her breast when his intestines rumble and he runs for the bathroom. She buttons up her shirt, smiles widely, and pours herself a glass of wine.
Start: Boys tell their dad what a failure their mom is.
Challenging Situation: (Value) Jane wants to be loved, but her husband only wants her body for sex and a meal.
Conflict: Because her husband verbally abuses her, so do the boys. She doesn’t like this but doesn’t know how to stop it, so she does what she can.
Action: She begins cleaning every bottle in the door of the refrigerator.
Finish: She watches her husband rush to the bathroom.
INT. KITCHEN—MORNING
Jane tells the boys to get ready for school, but they ignore her, so she uses a cookie cutter to make heart-shaped sandwiches for their lunch while they play on their phones. Her husband wants to know why they aren’t ready. Jane has told them. He doesn’t back her up but tells them to get dressed, and they obey. Dan shoves her against the wall and begins kissing her neck. The school bus honks, the boys leave on the bus, and Dan leaves in his gold mustang. Jane reaches to the back of a cupboard and pulls out a box of chocolate and pours herself a glass of wine. She sits in Dan’s chair with her feet up and her favorite book. Then Jane gets a phone call.
Start: Jane’s boys won’t obey her.
Challenging Situation: (Need) She needs her boys to love her. They only act like they do if she gives into them.
Conflict: Jane’s husband won’t back her up when the boys don’t obey her. This frustrates her.
Action: She finally takes care of herself when no one can see what she’s doing.
Finish: When everyone leaves, she gets out the chocolates, wine, and her favorite book. It’s mom time…until the phone rings and she has to get up again.
EXT. MAILBOX—DAY
Jane grumbles as she opens the mailbox. She finds a note that reads, “Au revoir, my Sweet Tart.” She is angry that her husband has interrupted her me time. She shreds the note and stomps on it. Then a gold mustang plows through her.
Start: Jane goes to the mailbox even though she doesn’t want to.
Challenging Situation: (Goal) Jane just wants to do her husband’s errand quickly so that she can get back to me time, but the note stops her.
Conflict: How dare her husband call her out of the house to leave her a weird note.
Action: She tears up the note and stomps on it.
Finish: A gold mustang plows through her.
ACT 3
INT. HOSPITAL—DAY
Jane wakes up in a hospital, in restraints. When she screams for her kids, Dr. Jones tell her that she has no family and that she has overdosed. She knows this isn’t true… or is it? As Jane thrashes to get free from her restraints, Dr. Zyn acts like he knows her, using her name and touching her, but she kicks at him because she doesn’t know him. When Dr. Jones tells her she’s hallucinating because of the medication she has taken, Jane spits in Dr. Jones’s face and gets tranquilized.
Start: Jane wakes up in restraints, as a mom looking for her kids.
Challenging Situation: (Need) She needs to know that her kids are safe and that she is sane, but they are telling her that what she believes isn’t true.
Conflict: The doctors say that Jane overdosed and is hallucinating a family that she knows exists.
Action: Jane thrashes to get free, kicks Dr. Zyn, and spits in Dr. Jones’s face because she’s not buying their story.
Finish: Dr. Jones stabs her with a tranquilizer, and Jane falls asleep.
INT. DR. JONES’S OFFICE—DAY
Dr. Zyn acts very protective of Jane and wants to take her restraints off, but Dr. Jones says no. When he asks why, she rips a staffing sheet off the wall and shoves it into Dr. Zyn’s chest. They don’t have enough staff—they lost three more people the previous week. She mutters about people wanting the product but not being willing to do the dirty work.
Start: Dr. Zyn wants to take Jane’s restraints off.
Challenging Situation: (Need) Dr. Zyn needs to protect Jane because he loves her, but Dr. Jones won’t approve it.
Conflict: Dr. Zyn and Dr. Jones argue about releasing Jane.
Action: Dr. Jones shoves rips an employee chart off the wall and thrusts it at Dr. Zyn—they don’t have enough staff to let patients wander around.
Finish: Dr. Jones wins the argument.
INT. DR. JONES’S BEDROOM—NIGHT
Ava holds up different pairs of earrings, which Dr. Jones rejects. Nothing is right. When her com buzzes, she shoos Ava from the room and answers it. The four royal matriarchs of the Old Regime, her bosses, who are now on screen ask her about rumors of staff members quitting. She lies to make hide the truth. and is lying about the staff departures. They advise her that she must mate soon or lose her position in the regime. After the call ends, she goes into a rage, throwing things. Then she calms down and calls her friends for a party. She is in full control again.
Start: Dr. Jones has Ava help her prepare for her virtual meeting with the Matriarchal Old Regime. Nothing is right.
Challenging Situation: (Goal) Dr. Jones always has to win, but these women want to know if what they’ve heard it true about staff members leaving. They also want her to marry or lose her position.
Conflict: When they challenge her ability to lead, she lies about the losses and says that she has chosen Dr. Zyn as her mate.
Action: When she signs off, she goes into a rage, throwing things.
Finish: She calms down, adjusts herself, and invites her friends for a party.
INT. KITCHEN—EVENING
With fix-it manual in one hand and a wrench in the other, Polly is trying to fix a burner. Ava arrives and wants her to come meet the arrival, but Polly thinks that a working burner is more important. Ava pulls out a new leather-bound books with gold edges. Polly drops everything and slowly nods. She takes the book and kisses it. Then she follows Ava.
Start: Polly is fixing a stove.
Challenging Situation: (Value) Ava thinks that Polly should stop what she’s doing and come and meet Jane, but Polly doesn’t think it’s important enough.
Conflict: They argue about it until Ava pulls out a new leather-bound book with gold edges.
Action: When Polly nods and receives the book, she kisses it because she is willing to meet this stranger if it means adding this precious item to her stash.
Finish: Polly gets up, stashes the book in her clothes, and follows Ava.
INT. JANE’S ROOM—EVENING
Polly cleans Jane’s room while Ava feeds Jane and sings. When Jane begins to cry, Ava wipes her face and asks Polly for the key, but Polly disagrees. Ava pulls Polly to Jane and dips her finger in Jane’s tears. Polly opens her hand, and Ava takes the key.
Start: Polly cleans Jane’s room while Ava feed Jane.
Challenging Situation: (Value) When Jane cries, Ava wants Polly to give her the key to the restraints, but Polly doesn’t want to get into trouble.
Conflict: Ava wants the key, and Polly refuses to give it.
Action: Ava pulls Polly up to Jane and dips her finger into Jane’s tears. She is trying to help Polly understand compassion.
Finish: Polly gives the key to Ava, and Ava unlocks Jane’s restraints.
ACT 4
INT. HOSPITAL HALLWAY—LATE NIGHT
Jane runs down dark hall after dark hall, trying doors. She wants out. Everything is locked. She hesitates at the top of the stairs to the basement because she is afraid. She’s sees light, so she goes down. The light is coming from under a door. Someone’s coming. She hides but looks as the nurse opens the door. She sees person hooked up to lives-saving machines, but the skull of his head is missing, and his brain is exposed. The doctor stabs the brain with a forked instrument and pulls the brain out. Jane panics and runs.
Start: Jane leaves her room.
Challenging Situation: (Need) She needs to escape the hospital, but she can’t seem to find a way out.
Conflict: Everything is locked, but she keeps trying doors.
Action: She hesitates at the top of the stairs to the basement because she is afraid of what she will find.
Finish: She sees what looks like a brain surgery in progress.
INT. STORAGE CLOSET—LATE NIGHT
Jane finds a window to the outer world, but it’s locked. She rubs on the grimy glass to see what is outside. Two nurses carry a skull-less body to a pit and drop it in—and then another, and then another. Jane hyperventilates as she begins a full blown panic attack. She turns and runs into Dr. Jones.
Start: Jane finds a window to the outer world.
Challenging Situation: (Goal) Jane almost makes it to the outer world, but the window is locked.
Conflict: Dr. Jones has made sure she can’t get out, but she rubs on the glass to see what is outside.
Action: When she sees nurses skull-less bodies to a pit, she has a panic attack.
Finish: Dr. Jones catches her.
INT. JANE’S ROOM—LATE NIGHT
Jane rants about people being killed. She fights the nurses who have descended on her. Dr. Jones holds her face and stuffs a cloth in her mouth. She tells Jane she’s hallucinating again. Jane continues to thrash, so Dr. Jones tranquilizes her. The nurses drag her down the hall and into her room. Then Dr. Jones removes a necklace, locks Jane’s restraints with a key that is on it, and puts the necklace back around her neck. She reminds the nurses that their futures depend on their silence. They nod.
Start: Jane rants about people being killed
Challenging Situation: (Need) Dr. Jones needs to have complete control of the hospital, but Jane challenges this.
Conflict: Jane yells the truth about the hospital, and Dr. Jones must keep the truth hidden from the patients so that they remain compliant.
Action: Dr Jones removes a necklace, locks Jane’s restraints with a key on it, and puts the necklace back around her neck.
Finish: Dr. Jones reminds there nurses to be silent about the basement.
ACT 5
INT. DR. JONES’S OFFICE—DAY
Dr. Jones is ranting at Polly, who steals a book while the doctor’s back is turned. Ava sees, and they both smiles at the joke, except Dr. Jones catches the smile. She grabs a red marker and Polly’s head and draws a bull’s eye on Polly’s forehead. Polly must be a better spy or her brain is next. When Dr. Jones tells Ava she will be entertaining some of her male guests, Ava passes out.
Start: Dr. Jones rants at Polly and Ava.
Challenging Situation: (Need) Polly needs to think for herself and to be safe, but Dr. Jones will only offer safety if Polly does what she tells her—spying on others.
Conflict: Polly must decide which need is more important—thinking for herself or being safe. She can’t have both.
Action: She steals a book from Dr. Jones’s shelf while her back is turned and when Dr. Jones draws the bull’s eye on her, she leaves it on so that everyone can see what Dr. Jones did. When she does occasionally spy for Dr. Jones, she tells her things that everyone already knows and that aren’t important.
Finish: Ava passes out.
INT. POLLY’S NEST—DAY
Polly is proudly still wearing the bull’s eye. She was the world to see. She finds a pen in her stash and writes in the stolen book. Dr. Jones appears wondering where another stolen item is. Polly puts the book behind her back. Dr. Jones wants to know what she’s just hidden. Polly shakes her head. Dr. Jones insists. Polly pulls out an old can full of rotten meet—her secret weapon. Dr. Jones shrinks back and tells her to clean it up.
Start: Polly finds a pen in her stash and writes a note in the stolen book.
Challenging Situation: (Goal) Polly must write a message in the book without anyone seeing her do it, but Dr. Jones arrives while she’s still writing.
Conflict: Polly’s mission is in jeopardy because of Dr. Jones.
Action: Polly pulls out a can of rotting meat to make Dr. Jones go away and not look any further.
Finish: Dr. Jones won’t touch Polly’s stash now but tells her to clean it up.
INT. JANE’S ROOM—DAY
Jane won’t eat or talk. Polly tucks a pink bear down the side of Jane’s bed for her to find but Dr. Jones to miss. Ava strokes her hair, and Jane falls asleep.
Start: Jane won’t eat or talk.
Challenging Situation: (Need) Polly and Ava need Jane to want to escape, but she has shut down.
Conflict: Polly and Ava fight against Jane’s depression.
Action: Polly tucks the bear partway under Jane’s pillow so that she will find it but Dr. Jones won’t.
Finish: Jane falls asleep with the bear next to her.
INT. JANE’S ROOM—EVENING
Polly, with the bull’s eye still on her forehead, makes a big show of reporting to Dr. Jones that Jane won’t eat, which the doctor already knows. Dr. Jones has a hunch. She begins to ultrasound Jane while she sleeps, but Dr. Zyn arrives with a wrapped present and a smile because he’s been spending most of his evenings with Jane. That’s when she tells him she has chosen him as her met. She sends him to prepare her a bath. She returns to the ultrasound and finds a baby.
Start: Polly reports that Jane won’t eat.
Challenging Situation: (Goal) Wants to find out if Jane is pregnant but doesn’t want anyone else to know, but when Dr. Zyn comes into the room, he might stop her.
Conflict: Dr. Jones sends Dr. Zyn on a demeaning errand when he clearly usually spends this time with Jane.
Action: Dr. Zyn arrives with a wrapped present and a smile because he has been spending his evenings with Jane.
Finish: Dr. Jones discovers that Jane is pregnant.
INT. JANE’S ROOM—LATE EVENING
Jane finds the pink bear and hugs it. A nurse comes in and tries to take the bear because it’s dirty, but Jane won’t let her have it. The nurse gives in and leaves. She has better things to do. But something is wrong with the bear. Jane finds a pocket and pulls out a book, in which is written, “Don’t believe them. They’re lying about everything.”
Start: Jane thinks that someone has left her a bear to hug.
Challenging Situation: (Goal) Jane wants her kids, but the hospital staff and possible others are lying to her.
Conflict: She has accepted what others have told her that reality is, but now she’s told that the reality isn’t real.
Action: A nurse comes in and tries to take the bear, but Jane won’t let her have it. She wants to keep this gift.
Finish: Jane finds a note in the bear that tells her that the staff is lying to her.
-
Avi Kapurala’s Scene Requirements
What I learned doing this assignment: the gaps in my outline/scenes are becoming clearer.
BEAT SHEET
Show Concept: Venture capital tycoon Viktor Brazhinsky and his wife Maya plot the downfall of a rival who plans to expose Viktor’s chilling secret — he’s a serial killer who’s never been caught…
Inciting Incident: The collapse of the Tyson Electric-Richardson gas station deal brought on by Viktor and Maya.
TEASER
INT- HOUSE- NIGHT:
A phone buzzes. It’s a text. Someone who’s watching TV checks it, turns off the TV and leaves.
EXT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT:
A masked figure peers around a corner to see if anyone is watching a warehouse he wants to enter. His gaze lingers on the few vehicles parked around, but there is no movement. He proceeds to enter the warehouse through a fire escape at the back.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat
Someone is watching from a car about a block away. Dashboard clock shows time.
INT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Strange behavior
The masked man climbs in through a window and turns on a hooded flashlight. Dim glow lights up the large room. He walks to the other side of the room and enters a smaller one.
EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Imminent Threat
A figure sneaks out of the watching van and makes his way to the masked man’s van. Rolls underneath and rolls back out after a few seconds. Makes his way back to the car.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Strange behavior
Someone is watching from a car about a block away. Dashboard clock shows an hour has elapsed.
EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT: Mystery
The masked man exits the warehouse from the fire escape.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Imminent threat
A hand grips the steering wheel and another gets ready to turn on the ignition.
EXT-CAR-NIGHT: Mystery
The warehouse starts burning. Man drives away. The van pulls out and starts tailing him discreetly.
EXT-DARK ROAD-NIGHT: Mystery
The car drives along a lonely road.
EXT-SEASIDE-NIGHT:
The man reaches a boat tied to an old jetty. He loads the duffel bag in the boat and casts off. Goes a little bit and dumps the bag. Turns around comes back ashore. Drives away.
INT-CAR-NIGHT:
Man sends a text- Mermaid away.
The masked man pulls back into the woods, sets the car he was in on fire and gets back into his own car. Drives back home.
EXT-WOODS-NIGHT:
A short while after the masked man burns the car and drives away in his own, the watcher pulls up and sees that the car he was tailing is now a burnt ruin. He gets back in his car and texts an unknown recipient- lost trail, but have interesting home movie.
ACT 1
EXT-MANHATTAN-NIGHT:
Jacob gets into a helicopter. Swanson 1. Chopper takes off. Crowd noise OS.
Start: Jacob is talking to an aide in his car.
Challenging Situation: A big business deal is in the works, but a competitor looms.
Conflict: Jacob needs to decide whether to hold the deal, or go ahead.
Action: He overrides his aide’s concerns about the risk to the deal.
Finish: Jumps into his chopper.
EXT-MANHATTAN-NIGHT: Intriguing World
Chopper takes off. Aide hands over a file to Jacob. TYSON ELECTRIC on the folder.
Start: Jacob reads the deal folder in the chopper.
Challenging Situation: A big business deal is in the works, but a competitor looms.
Conflict: Jacob decides to extract information from his ex-lover about the rival deal.
Action: He calls an aide to find out if she’s at the awards gala.
Finish: Calls an organizer to become a presenter instead of xyz. Donates 100k as a bribe.
INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT:
Big crowd, seated at tables. Well dressed. A speaker talking on the stage. Maya texting. Where are you?
Start: Awards ceremony for XYZ Award.
Challenging Situation: Maya is trying to locate Viktor.
Conflict: Viktor is unreachable.
Action: She calls Jason.
Finish: No response from either. She is angry.
INT-LOCKER ROOM-NIGHT:
Phone lights up in a locker room. The text Maya sent- where are you? Crowd noise builds.
Start: Empty locker room in a gym, phone lights up in a locker with Maya’s message.
Challenging Situation: Angry texts from Maya.
Conflict: No one available to respond to her messages.
Action: Texts go unanswered.
Finish: Crowd going wild.
INT-CHOPPER-NIGHT:
Jacob asks his aide if “he’s’” there. Aide replies ‘negative’. Jacob-where the fuck is he?
Start: Jacob is trying to find out if Viktor’s at the awards ceremony.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish: Viktor is missing.
INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT
Viktor kneeling and praying. Has a tattoo ‘Son of a whore’ on his back. Gets up and faces off with his opponent, a huge bear of a guy.
Start: Boxing ring, big crowd.
Challenging Situation: One of the fighters is gigantic.
Conflict: Viktor’s trainer is unsure if they should proceed.
Action: Viktor gets to his feet and takes his guard.
Finish: The bout begins
INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT
Maya is calling someone on her phone. No answer.
Start: Maya tries calling Viktor.
Challenging Situation: No response.
Conflict: The awards ceremony has begun.
Action: She leaves an angry voicemail.
Finish:
INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT
Opponent going at each other. Viktor is badly beaten up, but landing his own punches. Opponent taunts him about his mother and if she’s a whore. Viktor enraged and goes into overdrive.
Start: The two boxers are going hard at each other.
Challenging Situation: The bigger boxer has the upper hand.
Conflict: The bigger boxer begins taunting viktor about his tattoo and his mother
Action: Viktor lashes out hard.
Finish: The bigger boxer is suddenly on the ropes.
EXT-ROOFTOP HELIPAD-NIGHT
The chopper lands, Jacob gets out and is rushed in.
Start: Jacob lands at the awards ceremony.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish: Is rushed in.
INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT
Jacob enters the awards gala where the woman is. She is taken aback to see him.
Start: Jacob walks in after the ceremony has begun.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action:
Finish: Maya is taken aback to see him.
INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT
Viktor wins, barely standing. Opponent is dead.
Start: The bigger boxer is almost down.
Challenging Situation: He tries to take Viktor down in a last attempt.
Conflict: Viktor must avoid his hook.
Action: Viktor ducks and responds with an uppercut.
Finish: The bigger boxer goes down.
INT-BALLROOM-NIGHT
Maya’s name is called, Jacob from the chopper presents her an award. Ceremony ends. They have a conversation, he flirts with her, she’s angry. They leave to get a drink at a bar.
Start: Jacob lands at the awards ceremony.
Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to find out about the rival deal that threatens Tyson Electric.
Conflict: Maya is hesitant to talk to him.
Action: He appeals to her to have just one drink for old times’ sake.
Finish: They head to the bar.
INT-BOXING RING-NIGHT
Viktor is being carried around. Then his trainer is patching him up in the locker room. Missed calls checked on phone. Tries calling Maya back.
Start: Viktor is celebrating his win in the match.
Challenging Situation: Becomes aware that Maya has been trying to reach him.
Conflict: He knows he fucked up by not being at the awards.
Action: He attempts to contact her.
Finish: leaves placatory messages.
INT-BAR-NIGHT
Maya’s phone buzzes. She looks at it, silences it and turns her phone facedown. Deep conversation between Jacob and Maya. They know each other from before.
Start: Maya and Jacob decide to head to a nearby bar from the awards ceremony.
Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to find out about the rival deal that threatens Tyson Electric, but Maya is awkward talking to him.
Conflict: Viktor is trying to reach Maya.
Action: Jacob asks her to choose him for a change.
Finish: Maya ignores Viktor’s calls and continues talking to Jacob.
INT-CAR-NIGHT
Viktor is being driven back home by his trainer.
Start: Jacob is in his car. Driver Jason starts talking about the match.
Challenging Situation: The conversation triggers traumatic memories for Viktor.
Conflict: He needs to focus on Maya. Tries reaching her again.
Action: Asks Jason to stop the car at a bodega.
Finish: Buys flowers and texts Maya that he’s on his way home.
INT-BAR-NIGHT
Jacob attempts to hold Maya’s hand, she doesn’t fight it. He volunteers to drop her home after they’re done with drinks
Start: Jacob tries to subtly play on Maya’s anger with Viktor and tries to kiss her.
Challenging Situation: Maya gets angry and decides to leave.
Conflict: What does she do?
Action: She tells him that she can’t right now.
Finish: Jacob begs to drop Maya home and Maya refuses.
EXT-DRIVEWAY-NIGHT
Both cars reach the same house. Viktor and Maya get down. Face each other. Maya turns away and walks into the house.
Start: Both cars reach home.
Challenging Situation: Maya is upset with Viktor.
Conflict: Will she accept Viktor’s gesture of peace?
Action: Viktor tries to give Maya the flowers.
Finish: Maya storms into the house.
INT-HOUSE-NIGHT
Viktor and Maya fight.
Start: Maya and Viktor storm inside.
Challenging Situation: Maya sees Viktor’s physical condition and is enraged. Viktor is furious about Jacob.
Conflict: Despite starting off with the goal of making peace, they feel antagonized again.
Action: They have a fight.
Finish: Sleep in separate bedrooms.
INT-GYM-DAY
Maya working out, trainer supervises workout. She gets a text, ‘lunch is on’.
Start: Maya is not at home, she’s at a gym.
Challenging Situation: Angry about the night’s events.
Conflict: Needs to keep focus.
Action: Punching bag? Something else?
Finish: Finishes workout and gets a text that lunch is on.
INT-LIVING ROOM-DAY
Viktor wakes up, note on the coffee table- see you at the office, told Anya to fix you up. Don’t ignore. Viktor gets ready, brushes away Anya, who wants to put makeup on his face to cover up bruises.
Start: Viktor wakes up and Maya is gone.
Challenging Situation: In pain from the match.
Conflict: Maya has left instructions he doesn’t like.
Action: Viktor ignores her instructions.
Finish: Sends away the make-up artist.
INT-SHOWER-DAY
Maya showering after workout, gets dressed, heads to car.
Start: Maya in the shower post-workout.
Challenging Situation: She is disturbed.
Conflict: Disturbing images from childhood. Being molested.
Action: Finishes shower.
Finish: Leaves gym.
EXT-STREET-DAY
Car reaches office tower, Maya exits, enters building.
Start: Maya calls Viktor from the car.
Challenging Situation: They’re both upset.
Conflict: To set aside their differences and plan for something important. But she is pissed at him ignoring her advice.
Action: They discuss plans for a mysterious lunch and also for their meetings.
Finish: Maya and Viktor reach the office.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Applause as Viktor and Maya enter. Cheers and handshakes. Viktor and Maya linger, then head to separate cabins.
Start: Maya and Viktor enter the office.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Action: They acknowledge their employees.
Finish: They go into their respective cabins.
INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY
Maya goes over schedule with assistant, emphasizes to switch her afternoon schedule as she’s meeting a friend, Nancy. Calls an employee in and asks to short shares of Tyson Electric. The employee asks why she’s interested in Tyson Electric? She then heads into Viktor’s cabin.
Start: Maya is going over the days calendar with her assistant.
Challenging Situation: The schedule needs rearranging due to a lunch appointment
Conflict: Needs to be vague about her interest in Tyson Electric.
Action: Decision conveyed.
Finish: Heads into Viktor’s office.
INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY
Viktor and Maya get on a video conference. DriveNXT founders, bank also on call. Discuss upcoming IPO.
Start: Viktor and Maya hop onto a conference.
Challenging Situation: An upcoming IPO is being discussed.
Conflict: The banks are underpricing them.
Action: Negotiation.
Finish: Agreement reached.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
After the IPO meeting, Maya tells Viktor that lunch is on. She leaves.
Start: Viktor and Maya wrap up the conference.
Challenging Situation: An upcoming crucial lunch is being discussed.
Conflict: Viktor doesn’t want her to go. They can handle it without it. Maya wants to go and tell someone to their face that he’s going to be fucked. She needs to do it.
Action: Viktor reluctantly agrees.
Finish: Maya is pumped to ‘take him down’.
INT-CAR-DAY
Maya pensive.
Start: Maya is on her way to lunch.
Challenging Situation: She wants to feel in control, but isn’t.
Conflict: Childhood memories of being molested?
Action: She lights a cigarette from a hidden stash, which she rarely does.
Finish: Tosses her cigarette and gets out of the car.
INT-ART GALLERY-DAY
Maya runs into Nancy. Expresses surprise, they talk. Maya invites herself to lunch. Texts Viktor ‘IN’.
Start: Maya is in an art gallery, browsing.
Challenging Situation: She runs into a childhood friend.
Conflict: The friend is in a hurry to go to lunch.
Action: Maya invites herself to lunch with Nancy.
Finish: They leave together.
INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY
Viktor- Replies Good Luck to Maya’s text of IN.
Start: Viktor is in meetings when Maya texts him after lunch.
Challenging Situation: Gets a text from Maya that lunch is on.
Conflict: Hesitates before replying.
Action: Replies with a good luck, ready to go.
Finish: He continues with his meetings.
INT-RESTAURANT-DAY
The two women meet with two men, one quite older. Hugs all around, they start talking. Maya rubs older man’s thigh under the table. She gets up to go to the ladies’ room, older man waits and follows.
Start: Maya is at lunch with Nancy, her husband and her father.
Challenging Situation: Maya is uncomfortable, but has her emotions under control.
Conflict: Nancy’s father seats himself next to her. She rubs his thigh under the table.
Action: She waits a few minutes and then excuses herself to the ladies’ room, with a signal to Nancy’s father.
Finish: She enters the ladies’ room and waits for him.
INT-LADIES’ ROOM-DAY
They get into a stall. He asks if she missed him and that’s why she’s here. She grabs his balls and threatens him. Walks out.
Start: Nancy’s father enters the stall.
Challenging Situation: He begins kissing her and asks if she missed him.
Conflict: Childhood memories flash.
Action: She grabs his balls and squeezes painfully. Tells him that he’s finished fucking young girls who don’t have a choice.
Finish: Shoves him away and walks out.
EXT-RESTAURANT-DAY
Maya texts Viktor – GO.
Start: Maya tells Nancy and her husband that she’s got to go, but good luck with the deal.
Challenging Situation: She’s struggling to breathe.
Conflict: Hesitates before sending a text.
Action: texts Viktor ‘GO’.
Finish: Lights a cigarette and gets into her car.
INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY
Viktor calls someone and asks them to do it. Texts Maya DONE.
Start: Viktor calls someone and tells them to proceed with the article.
Challenging Situation: He makes a second call on a burner phone and asks the person to start buying through the other account as decided.
Conflict: He wants to call Maya, but hesitates. Starts typing a text asking how she’s doing, but erases it.
Action: Goes ahead and calls her.
Finish: Tells her that it’s done.
INT-CAFÉ-DAY
Nancy and family at lunch.
Challenging Situation: Nancy’s father gets a call at lunch from a reporter about a news article that is scheduled to run shortly.
Conflict: He cannot discuss it freely with his family around and in a public place.
Action: Threatens to sue.
Finish: The reporter says they’re going ahead as they have solid proof.
INT-CAR-DAY
Maya’s driving.
Start: Maya’s phone begins buzzing.
Challenging Situation: She begins crying as she sees the news.
Conflict: Wants to control her emotions, but cannot.
Finish: Pulls over and bawls her eyes out.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
The TV news and phones in Viktor’s office begin buzzing with a video of Dave Richardson being a pedophile.
Start: The news hits the screens in Viktor’s office. Chaos as people try to figure out the implications.
Challenging Situation: Viktor needs to keep his cool and not give away that Maya and he are behind the news, or are profiting from it.
Conflict: Advises confidantes to buy more of EcoLabs.
Finish: The office celebrates as the rival deal collapses.
INT-BEDROOM-NIGHT
Maya is reading in bed. The news is about the collapse of the Tyson Electric deal with Richardsons. Maya texts Richardson- rot in prison, you bastard.
Start: Maya is home, in bed. Viktor walks in.
Challenging Situation: Viktor wants to comfort Maya.
Conflict: Maya pulls away and refuses his attention. Viktor walks away and hope in the shower, goes to sleep in a separate room.
Finish: Maya texts Nancy- hope all of you rot in hell for not stopping him. Nancy replies- fuck you.
ACT 2
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Jacob is watching the news of Tyson Electric’s collapse. The news talks about a rival company signing a deal with another national chain of gas stations. He gets a call from someone who wants to meet him. Gets so angry he hurls the phone at the wall.
Start: Jacob is watching the Tyson Electric deal collapse.
Challenging Situation: A rival company has announced its launch, instead of Tyson.
Conflict: He is summoned by his father.
Finish: Is furious with Viktor for getting the better of him.
INT-GYM-DAY
Maya gets a text from Tara- I know you hate him, but do you want him to die? Maya calls Tara and says she’ll do it, but she does not want to see him.
Start: Maya is in the gym and gets a call from someone named Tara.
Challenging Situation: A part of her wants to answer it, but she doesn’t want to.
Conflict: Someone she knows has been in an accident.
Finish: Maya cuts her workout short and hops in the shower.
EXT-DELI-DAY
Viktor is walking into a deli. An analyst from his office is waiting for him. The deli owner shares a story about Viktor’s childhood.
Start: Viktor is going to get coffee.
Challenging Situation: One of his analysts is waiting for him.
Conflict: The analyst wants to talk about something that’s troubling him.
Finish: The deli owner ends up telling him a story from Viktor’s childhood.
EXT-STREET-DAY
Viktor tells the analyst why he gets coffee from the deli everyday even though it’s bad. Wants to know what he wants to talk about. The analyst hesitates briefly and then brings up PrimaCorp.
Start: Viktor and the analyst walk out of the deli. The analyst comments on how shitty the coffee is.
Challenging Situation: Viktor tells him a backstory of why he gets his daily coffee from the deli despite it not being good.
Conflict: Viktor harps on loyalty and the analyst is affected. Why?
Finish: Viktor wants to know more about PrimaCorp. He asks the analyst why he couldn’t talk in the office.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Viktor and Maya are in a meeting with DriveNXT. IPO going live in a few days.
Start: Viktor and Maya are in the office and in an important meeting.
Challenging Situation: An IPO is launching in two days.
Conflict: The pricing is unsatisfactory to Viktor, Maya is distracted, which annoys him more.
Finish: Maya gets a text from Tara asking if she wants him to die. Will she help?
INT-CABIN-DAY
She asks her assistant for the number of the head of a hospital and calls. Wants the best care for him.
INT-HOME-DAY
Jacob is sitting with an older man, who is berating him and wants to know if he needs a reminder in how to fuck people. Jacob gets angry and leaves.
Start: Jacob is in a mansion, talking to his father.
Challenging Situation: The father is upset with the losses because of Tyson Electric.
Conflict: He threatens Jacob with consequences and reminds him of how he got his scar. Jacob can be replaced.
Finish: Jacob storms out with the assurance that he’ll handle things.
INT-CAR-DAY
As he drives, Jacob makes a phone call and asks the person where they are with Derek. The person gives him an update. Jacob asks him to step on it, he wants more information and how Tyson Electric slipped through.
Start: Jacob is driving back to his office.
Challenging Situation: He needs to figure out a way of getting back at Viktor and makes call.
Conflict: He wants more information from an inside source.
Finish: Asserts that the source can be ‘broken’ if he doesn’t cooperate.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Viktor checks on Maya.
Start: After getting the text from Tara, Maya is disturbed and does not rejoin the board meeting. Viktor wraps up and goes into her cabin.
Challenging Situation: Viktor is upset at her skipping out on the meeting.
Conflict: Maya is in a pensive mood and retorts angrily to his questioning.
Finish: Viktor leaves, angry, when Maya tells him that it’s none of his business.
INT-OFFICE CABIN-DAY
Viktor summons his assistant to go over his schedule and sets a time for dinner with a Claire.
Start: Viktor is arranging his daily schedule and has a late-night dinner with a woman named Claire.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Finish: Looks up Claire’s profile and seems happy.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Derek crumbles and agrees to meet.
An analyst at Viktor and Maya’s office gets a text. Meet tonight.
Start: The analyst who had coffee with Viktor gets a text from an unknown party.
Challenging Situation: The text shakes the analyst, Derek.
Conflict: He replies that he can’t, but the unknown party threatens to spill his secret.
Finish: Derek unhappily agrees to meet.
EXT-PARK-NIGHT
Derek is sitting on a bench with Eddie. Conversation about passing on information from Viktor’s office. Blackmail about his gambling debt, house mortgaged and revealing it to his wife. What deal is going down now? Any weaknesses?
Start: Derek is meeting with Eddie.
Challenging Situation: Eddie is pressing him for more information regarding Viktor’s deals.
Conflict: Derek wants out, but Eddie is unrelenting and blackmails him.
Finish: Derek reveals something about DriveNXT.
EXT-CAFÉ-NIGHT
Viktor is having dinner incognito with Claire. Slips something in her drink when she goes to the ladies’ room. Pays with cash and they leave. Someone is photographing/following them.
Start: Viktor meets Claire for dinner and discusses her proposal for investment.
Challenging Situation: Something’s on his mind. Asks about her family and friends, who she lives with.
Conflict: Claire is upset about the personal questions.
Finish: He slips something into her drink when she goes to the ladies’ room.
INT-HOSPITAL-NIGHT
Maya is at an old man’s beside. He’s unconscious, hooked up to machines.
Start: Maya is in a hospital room, looking at an old man.
Challenging Situation: He’s badly injured, unconscious and hooked up to several machines.
Conflict: The doctors say it doesn’t look hopeful.
Finish: Maya calls the old man dad and begins telling him how much she hated him.
EXT-HOME-DAY
Flashback to childhood and losing home.
Start: Maya, Tara, mother and father looking at their home being repossessed.
Challenging Situation: They have nowhere to live.
Conflict: Maya is furious with her father and blames him for their situation.
Finish: She vows that she’ll never talk to him again.
INT-HOME-NIGHT
Viktor comes home late. Maya not there. Texts her. Doesn’t get a reply.
Start: Viktor comes home early in the morning after his dinner with Claire and sees that Maya is not home.
Challenging Situation: He texts her and gets a reply that she’s spending the night with a friend who needs her.
Conflict: He tells her about dinner with Claire.
Finish: He showers and watches a bondage video.
EXT-HIGHWAY-NIGHT
Eddie is driving. Texts Jacob- promising lead, chasing it down.
Start: Eddie is on a highway, driving.
Challenging Situation: Jacob calls him and he lets him know he’s chasing down a promising lead.
Conflict: Jacob wants it to be done at any cost.
Finish: Eddie promises to deliver.
INT-STOCK EXCHANGE-DAY
Viktor and DriveNXT founders at the ringing of the bell, for their IPO launch. They head to a news interview. Viktor is trying to reach Maya with no luck.
Start: Viktor is prepping for the launch of the DriveNXT IPO.
Challenging Situation: Maya is MIA.
Conflict: She is not answering Viktor’s calls and texts.
Finish: Viktor goes to the SE without Maya and rings the bell.
INT-HOSPITAL-DAY
Maya wakes up. Father still unconscious. Tara comes in and asks if she wants to go home and freshen up. Maya freshens up in the hospital and meets the head of the hospital. Texts Viktor good luck for the interview. Evades his question on where she is.
Start: Maya wakes up in the hospital.
Challenging Situation: Viktor has been trying to reach her for the DriveNXT launch.
Conflict: She does not feel up to working.
Finish: Lets Viktor know that she’s unable to make it, good luck.
INT-NEWS STUDIO-DAY
Viktor and the founders of DriveNXT have an interview to boost the IPO launch. They’re pleased with it.
Start: Viktor and the DriveNXT founders are plugging for their IPO in a news interview.
Challenging Situation: Viktor has to cover for Maya.
Conflict: He is furious with her, but has to focus.
Finish: The interview goes well and everyone is pumped with the early numbers.
EXT-TOWN-DAY:
Eddie is driving around a small suburban/rural town, asking for Steve Latham. Finds his house.
Start: Eddie is looking for a guy named Latham.
Challenging Situation: He’s never seen the guy before and doesn’t know how he looks.
Conflict: Jacob is desperate to find Latham.
Finish: Eddie finds his house.
INT-HOME-DAY:
Eddie is in the house, talking to a guy who’s in his pyjamas and depressed. This is Todd Latham, the whistleblower from DriveNXT, whose life has been ruined by them.
Start:
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Finish: They are trying to figure out the next steps.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Eddie calls Jacob and says he has the papers.
Start: Eddie calls Jacob to tell him that they have the documents.
Challenging Situation:
Conflict:
Finish:
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Jacob gets a copy of the documents from Eddie and calls a friendly reporter, Michael, to leak the documents. The reporter needs verification
Start: Jacob calls his broker and asks him to buy DriveNXT when it falls.
Challenging Situation: Jacob needs to convince the reporter to run the news immediately.
Conflict: The reporter tells him that he doesn’t want to get involved because he doesn’t want it tracked back to him, but will pass it on the right guy.
Finish: Jacob patches the reporter through to Latham as a confidential source and convinces the reporter to run it with comment, without delay.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Viktor and founders are at lunch. The founders get a call from a reporter regarding a failed safety study that was covered up.
Start: Viktor and the DriveNXT founders are having a celebratory lunch. They get a call from a reporter seeking comment.
Challenging Situation: The founders try to clarify that the study was outdated.
Conflict: The reporter isn’t convinced.
Finish: The article will run immediately.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
News break with documentary evidence that DriveNXT’s safety features are lacking and it was covered up to authorities.
Start: Jacob’s reporter friend gets the news broken through a colleague.
Challenging Situation: The IPO stock price is falling rapidly.
Conflict: Viktor and team are trying to get their stand across to news outlets, without success.
Finish: The price is falling into the red.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
He then calls Eddie and tells him to go ahead with Latham.
Jacob is watching the numbers fall. Hanson calls and says ready. Jacob says go.
Start: Jacob calls Hanson and asks him to buy.
Challenging Situation: Jacob goes against advice to not buy.
Conflict: He is advised by his team that any link to them will be dangerous.
Finish: He okays the buying of the stock anyway.
INT-HOME-DAY
As Latham packs up to leave, Eddie shoots him with a silenced gun and covers up his presence to make it look like suicide.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Viktor and his team watch as the numbers keep falling. Someone is buying up large chunks of DriveNXT. The IPO is lost. Viktor has lost billions. He cannot contact Maya.
Start: Viktor and his team are shellshocked as the IPO numbers plunge.
Challenging Situation: Someone is buying up a majority share.
Conflict: Viktor tells his team to dump their share quickly even though they are his clients.
Finish: The IPO has tanked spectacularly.
INT-HOSPITAL-NIGHT
Maya’s father slips into a coma. Dies. Her mother arrives.
Start: Maya’s father is still unconscious.
Challenging Situation: His vitals start plunging.
Conflict: A medical team tries to stabilize him.
Finish: He dies.
ACT 3
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Viktor’s office is buzzing with calls from investors about the failed IPO. They are spooked.
Start: Viktor’s phone and the office phone are choked with calls from investors.
Challenging Situation: He has to reassure them that their investments are ok. The company won’t be affected by the IPO’s failure.
Conflict: Maya is missing.
Finish: Deals with all calls and is exhausted.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Jacob is gloating over his father.
Start: Jacob’s father has dropped in.
Challenging Situation: He tries to pull Jacob down a notch despite his success against Viktor.
Conflict: Jacob must remain calm, while gloating.
Finish: Jacob throws his father out when he antagonizes him too much.
INT-HOSPITAL-DAY: Wound
Maya and her mother and Tara are emotional from the father’s death and the reunion after years.
Start: Maya is at her parents’ home.
Challenging Situation: Her father has just died and her mother and sister are inconsolable.
Conflict: Maya is trying to let go of her old emotions towards her parents.
Finish: Maya and her mother and Tara bond.
EXT-STREET-DAY
Derek meets Eddie. Wants out as he delivered. Eddie says they’re just getting started. The threat remains. What’s next? PrimaCorp.
Start: Derek is the mole in Viktor’s office. He meets Eddie.
Challenging Situation: He wants out, but Eddie isn’t ready to listen.
Conflict: His sense of loyalty and gratitude for Viktor and Maya clash with being blackmailed.
Finish: Eddie crushes him by threatening exposure to Viktor as well as his family and jail time for violating his NDA with Viktor.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
Viktor is angry. He wants to know how they got blindsided and how someone got to Latham. The news is all about DriveNXT and the losses are huge. Where the fuck is Maya?
Start: Viktor is angry that they got blindsided so badly and allowed their insider to get compromised.
Challenging Situation: Maya cannot be located. There is a leak in the office.
Conflict: Viktor is trying to reach Maya and is furious with her for abandoning the company at this time. He is trying to find out who in the office leaked information to Jacob about Latham.
Finish: Viktor finishes giving comments to a reporter about DriveNXT’s safety. Tries again to reach Maya.
EXT-WATERSIDE-NIGHT
Viktor and Jason talk. Mole in the office, spyware. Everything could be exposed. Texts Maya- need to talk.
Start: Jason texts Viktor on his burner that they need to talks somewhere safe.
Challenging Situation: Their communications could be compromised.
Conflict: They do not know how badly they’ve been compromised. Need to find out.
Finish: Jason and Viktor decide that all employees must be followed and all communications must be tapped. They have to go deep.
INT-HOME-NIGHT
Maya is home to pack a bag. Viktor confronts her. Fight. He accuses her of betraying him and passing on information to Jacob. Maya storms out and heads back to mother’s house. Calls Jacob- need a friend. Jacob will meet her.
Start: Maya is home, packing.
Challenging Situation: Viktor confronts her.
Conflict: Maya is torn between her duty to the company and wanting to spend time with her family. When she says she cannot go into work, Viktor accuses her of conniving with Jacob.
Finish: Maya walks out and calls Jacob for support.
INT-OFFICE-NIGHT
Derek plugs his phone in to his desktop to charge.
Start: Derek sneaks into the office late at night.
Challenging Situation: He needs to plant spyware as instructed by Eddie.
Conflict: He is ashamed at betraying Viktor and his family.
Finish: He hesitates, but does what he has to.
INT-OFFICE-NIGHT
Jacob’s office- They’re into Viktor’s servers and comms.
ACT 4
INT-OFFICES-DAY:
Several members of the press get calls promising a juicy story at a certain time and place.
EXT-CEMETERY-MORNING
Maya’s father’s funeral. Viktor shows up uninvited and gets into an argument with Maya. She ends up falling and the press laps it up. Jacob is there and helps Maya, which antagonizes Viktor and he punches Jacob.
Start: Maya and her family are at the cemetery for her father’s funeral. Viktor joins, uninvited.
Challenging Situation: Jacob is present and by Maya’s side.
Conflict: Maya cold-shoulders Viktor. Enraged, he gets into an argument with her and ends up pushing her. As the press capture the face-off, Jacob steps in.
Finish: Maya, her family and Jacob leave.
INT-OFFICE-DAY
The police walk in to Viktor’s office to question him regarding a Claire Logan, whom he met for dinner a few days ago. He denies any knowledge of what happened after dinner.
Start: Viktor is back in the office from the funeral and the police come in to the office, wanting to speak with him.
Challenging Situation: They want to question him and staff regarding the disappearance of Claire, whom he met for dinner recently.
Conflict: Viktor conceals the fact that he left the restaurant together with Claire to go elsewhere.
Finish: The police leave and will be back if they need more information.
EXT-STREET-DAY
Derek calls Eddie and lets him know about the police coming to the office asking about Claire.
INT-OFFICE-NIGHT
Viktor calls Jason on burners- meet.
EXT-STREET-NIGHT: Conspiracy
Viktor and Jason meet in secret.
Start: Viktor tells Jason about the recent police visit.
Challenging Situation: Something critical that is at risk of exposure needs to be concealed.
Conflict: They are unsure of how much Jacob knows, but need to take the chance so that the police don’t find out.
Finish: Jason will go on a fishing trip.
INT-DOMINATRIX CHAMBER-NIGHT
Viktor is getting whipped by a dominatrix, who tells him he’s going to get the pain he deserves. He keeps asking for more. Why? Flashback to his childhood. Trapped in a closet, watching a woman whip a man.
Start: Viktor is bound, gagged and getting whipped.
Challenging Situation: Flashbacks of childhood memories.
Conflict: Jacob, Maya, DriveNXT, the police visit, they all intertwine in his head.
Finish: He snorts amphetamine after the session and puts on his suit, ready to do battle. Calls Julius about PrimaCorp.
A masked figure peers around a corner to see if anyone is watching a warehouse he wants to enter. His gaze lingers on the few vehicles parked around, but there is no movement. He proceeds to enter the warehouse through a fire escape at the back.
INT-CAR-NIGHT:
Someone is watching from the car.
INT- WAREHOUSE-NIGHT
The masked man climbs in through a window and turns on a hooded flashlight. Dim glow lights up the large room. He walks to the other side of the room and enters a smaller one.
EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT
A figure sneaks out of the watching van and makes his way to the masked man’s van. Rolls underneath and rolls back out after a few seconds. Makes his way back to the car.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Mystery
Back inside his car, the watcher settles in and continues watching the live stream on his laptop.
The watcher is looking at a live stream on a laptop inside the car.
INT- WAREHOUSE ROOM-NIGHT
The man takes off the mask from the figure. It’s Claire.
INT-CAR-NIGHT: Conspiracy
Back inside his car, the watcher sees the man unmasking the dead body. HE texts someone It’s her.
INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT
Man enters room. His light shines on a masked, chained figure. He lays down a plastic sheet, unchains the figure and proceeds to cut up the body. He finishes cutting up the body.
EXT-WAREHOSUE-NIGHT:
The watcher’s dashboard clock shows that forty-five minutes have passed since the masked man entered the building.
INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT
Wraps up the plastic sheet and loads up a large duffel bag. Shoulders it and walks out.
INT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT
The man pulls out a bunch of wires from an old junction box. Sparks them. A fire starts up.
EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT
He exits the warehouse from the fire escape.
INT-CAR-NIGHT
A hand grips the steering wheel and another gets ready to turn on the ignition.
EXT-WAREHOUSE-NIGHT
The man jogs quickly to his vehicle, loads the duffel bag into the trunk.
EXT-CAR-NIGHT
Man drives away. The van pulls out and starts tailing him discreetly.
EXT-DARK ROAD-NIGHT
The car drives along a lonely road.
EXT-SEASIDE-NIGHT
The man reaches a boat tied to an old jetty. He loads the duffel bag in the boat and casts off. Goes a little bit and dumps the bag. Turns around comes back ashore. Drives away.
INT-CAR-NIGHT
Man sends a text- Mermaid away.
INT-CAR-NIGHT
A long distance away, the man following the van watches a dot blinking on a tracking device.
ACT 5
INT-BOXING RING-MORNING
Jacob drops in. Confrontation between him and Viktor. Jacob vows that this is just the beginning. Maya is going to be his again and, he knows about Brooklyn.
Start: Viktor is shadow-boxing early in the morning.
Challenging Situation: Jacob walks in to the gym and approaches him.
Conflict: Jacob threatens Viktor with blackmail about Brooklyn.
Finish: Jacob vows that he’s going to destroy him completely and reclaim Maya.
INT-GYM-DAY
After Jacob leaves, Viktor texts from a burner phone. Laundry dirty. Anything else to go in the bag?
INT-HOME-DAY
Maya and Jacob leave for an unknown destination.
Start: Jacob comes to Maya’s mother’s house to check on her.
Challenging Situation: Maya is still upset with Viktor.
Conflict: Maya wonders if she should work with Viktor on solving their differences. Jacob is conflicted as he sees her swaying. He cannot let her go back.
Finish: Jacob asks Maya to take a drive with him to show her something important.
INT-APARTMENT-DAY
Jacob shows Maya the tape. Viktor is a killer.
Start: Jacob and Maya are in his apartment.
Challenging Situation: He shows her the photos and tape of the body in Brooklyn.
Conflict: Maya is shattered. She breaks down and Jacob comforts her.
Finish: Maya decides that she can never go back to Viktor. She’s afraid because he’s a killer.
INT-HOME-NIGHT
Viktor gets a text – he knows everything.
Viktor texts back- then it’s war.
Viktor texts Jason- it’s go time with PrimaCorp.
-
Module 3 Lesson 11 For Forum Outline Requirements
Elizabeth Dickinson’s Scene Requirements
What I learned doing this assignment was that some scenes have more than one challenge/conflict in them and that identifying the difference between a challenge and a conflict isn’t always obvious.
Teaser
EXT. Heaven
Oversoul sees angels, laments situation, discovers he must purge regrets of past lives. Past lives introduced.
<div>
Start: Oversoul watching past lives on screen
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Wants to become angel
Conflict: Isn’t allowed to
Action: Must purge regrets of past lives
Finish: Watches first life with that intention
</div>
INT. Celt’s hut – night
Celt slips out at night but not before being questioned by youngest sister about what he’s doing. Pet mouse introduced.
<div>
Start: Celt’s leaving house illicitly at night
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Sister wakes up,
questions.Conflict: Celt must soothe her to let him go
Action: Celt distracts her with mouse
Finish: Celt leaves
</div>
EXT. Outside hut – night
Celt and best friend Coran go out patrolling.
<div>
Start: Celt joins Coran
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt isn’t supposed to be
out at nightConflict: Coran thinks Sasha might tell
Action: Celt reassures Coran
Finish: They both leave
</div>
EXT. Ceremonial fire – night
Village wise woman Marta instructs girls in goddess worship. Celt and Coran watch. Coran tells Celt he should tell village elders about his abilities to see divinities. Celt says that’s for girls.
<div>
Start:
Celt & Coran pass Marta teaching girls
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt wants to watch
Conflict: Coran says there’s no time and why
doesn’t Celt tell Marta about Celt’s own abilities
Action:
They leaveFinish: Marta reveals by behavior that she knows
they were there.</div>
Ext. Roman legion camp – night
Celt and Coran spy on Roman soldiers from trees, learn fellow Celt Clu is teaching Romans to speak their language and that Romans are looking for boys to serve emperor.
<div>
Start: Celt and Coran spy on Roman soldiers from
trees
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt and Coran can’t reveal they’re
there.Conflict: They learn Romans are there to get boys
and girls from villageAction: Celt and Coran are alarmed
Finish: They race away
</div>
Ext. Celt’s village – night
Village elders holding council with village to decide what to do with information Celt and Coran brought about Romans. Disagreement about whether to be aggressive. Vulnerable tribal members sent away. Celt, Coran, Piran, Tyran, volunteer to stay, along with Celt’s mother, father, and youngest sister. Celt, Coran initiated as adults.
<div>
Start: Village debates what Celt/Coran told them
</div><div>Challenging Situation: They don’t know Roman
intentionsConflict: They disagree on how to handle it
Action: Marta gives emergency direction
Finish: Marta initiates boys into manhood,
including Celt/Coran who would otherwise be too young</div>
Ext. Celt’s stable – night
Celt gives beloved horse Emer into safekeeping of his crush Aiolfe. Sounds of Romans arriving.
<div>
Start: Celt strokes beloved horse Emer
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt has to send her away
for safetyConflict: Celt doesn’t want to
Action: Celt gives Emer to Aiolfe
Finish: Aiolfe kisses him, Romans heard arriving
</div>
End of Act 1
Act 2
Ext. Village green – dawn
Remaining villagers work or play. Roman Commander asks for boy volunteers, Marta stalls. Sirius brings out map of Rome, uses soft power to charm. Roman Commander loses patience, menaces Celt’s mother. Celt has psychic vision of triskele symbol landing on destruction, then sees Taranis, accepts Taranis’ patronage in exchange for village safety. Volunteers to go with Romans, along with Coran, Piran, Tyran. Coran rejected by Romans because of crippled hand. Goddess Brigit castigates Taranis.
<div>
Start:
Romans arrive.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Romans ask for boy
volunteersConflict: Romans threaten Celt’s mom. Celt sees
triskele on destructionAction: Celt accepts Taranis patronage
Finish: Celt volunteers to go with Romans
</div>
End of Act 2
Act 3
Ext. Track through Woods – day
Piran and Tyran can’t keep up with soldiers. At rest stop, Celt feeds them from his pack, admonishes them not to drink too much water. Sirius asks for more time to rest for boys and Commander refuses.
<div>
Start: Twins can’t keep pace with soldiers
</div><div>Challenging Situation: At rest stop, Celt advises
boys not to eat/drink too muchConflict:
Twins gobble/drink too much.Action: Sirius asks for more rest for boys
Finish: Commander refuses
</div>
Ext. Deeper in forest – day
Piran and Tyran are given to Sirius and soldier Cletus to carry on their backs. Tyran vomits on Cletus. Cletus throws Tyran against tree, breaking his neck. Commander docks Cletus’ pay.
<div>
Start: Twins lag behind
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Twins given to
Cletus/Sirius to carryConflict: One twin vomits on Cletus
Action: Cletus throws against tree
Finish: Tyran dies
</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – night
Sirius tells Celt that Cletus will have to pay for Tyran’s death with extra duties. Celt and Piran look/feel sickened.
<div>
Start: Sirius says Cletus will be punished.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt challenges this
‘help’Conflict:
Sirius can’t/doesn’t want to answer Celt’s questionAction: Sirius avoids by getting more food
Finish: Celt comforts Piran, while soldiers gorge
food, seemingly uncaring about the murder.</div>
Ext. Path in woods – day
Sirius teaches Celt bird names in Latin. Celt corrects Sirius about difference between ravens and crows, to Sirius’ annoyance.
<div>
Start: Sirius teaches Latin
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Sirius misidentifies
ravens and crowsConflict: Sirius resists/challenges Celt’s
correctionAction: Celt stands his ground
Finish: Sirius backs off
</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – night
Piran tells Celt they are a pair now, like Piran used to be with his twin. Celt dreams he’s trying to teach Latin to his sister’s mouse.
Celt is woken up by Coran’s hooting.
<div>
Start: Piran reinforces bond with Celt
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Romans have upper hand
Conflict: Celt has disturbing dream
Action: Hooting wakes him up
Finish: Celt follows hooting.
</div>
Ext. Forest – night
<div>
Start: Celt follows hooting
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Is it an owl-or Coran?
Conflict: Can he leave camp without Romans
waking?Action: He does, following hooting.
Finish: An acorn from Coran hits Celt on head –
Coran’s signature move.</div>
Ext. Forest – night
Celt learns Coran followed them and wants Celt to escape, learns village has regrets letting boys go. Celt tells Coran he can’t leave without Piran.
<div>
Start: Celt finds Coran
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Coran has returned for Celt
Conflict: Coran invites Celt to escape
Action: Celt says he doesn’t want to leave Piran
Finish: They return for Piran
</div>
Ext. Campfire – night
Piran wakes, calls for Celt, thinks Celt abandoned him. Celt runs to him.
Piran’s noise wakes Cletus who’s angry and cuts out Piran’s tongue. Celt cauterizes Piran’s tongue by heating knife using Cletus’ cloak to hold knife, burning a hole in it. The commander knocks Celt out. Piran faints.
<div>
Start:
Celt and Coran arrive.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Piran is yelling for Celt.
Conflict: Cletus is annoyed by noise.
Action: Cletus cuts out Piran’s tongue
Finish: Celt reaches Piran, tries to cauterize
it, is knocked unconscious.</div>
End of Act 3
Act 4
Ext. Mountain cliff – day
Celt wakes up being carried on Cletus’ shoulder. He asks to be let down to pee, asks about Piran.
<div>
Start: Celt gets conscious
</div><div>Challenging Situation: He’s being carried by
Cletus!Conflict: He needs to pee
Action: He asks what happened to Piran
Finish: He sees Piran carried by Sirius
</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – night
Celt tries to give herb plantain to Piran but Piran rejects Celt. Sirius explains that Piran thought Celt abandoned Piran. Cletus demands recompense for damaged cloak. Sirius says he was already paid in tongue. Cletus and Sirius start to fight, which is broken up by commander.
Celt tells Sirius he’s going into woods to pee/poop.
<div>
Start: Celt offers plantain to Piran
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Piran runs away
Conflict: Cletus demands recompense for ruined
cloak from SiriusAction:
Commander intervenes, sends Cletus to dig latrineFinish:
Angry Celt goes to pee in woods</div>
Ext. Forest – night
Celt meets Coran, who urges him to leave, producing Piran’s tongue.
Celt says he’ll come after everyone’s asleep so he can bring Piran. Coran questions whether that will work.
<div>
Start: Celt and Coran meet in forestChallenging Situation: Coran shows Piran’s tongue
Conflict: Coran wants to leave, Celt still wants
to bring PiranAction: Celt shows he’s coming around to Coran’s
point of view by volunteering that he too thinks Clu is a Roman dogFinish: Coran nods
</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – night
Piran struggles against Celt. Cook wakes, asks what’s happening. Celt lies, saying it’s a nightmare.
Coran uses bird calls to get Celt to leave.
Celt abandons Piran.
<div>
Start:
Everyone’s sleeping
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt wakes Piran tries to
keep him quietConflict: Piran struggles, refuses
Action: Cook wakes, asks what’s up…
Finish: Celt leaves Piran behind
</div>
Ext. Forest – night
Celt meets Coran, but sees a warning triskele. Celt tells Coran he can’t leave Piran. Celt has vision of Coran married to Aiolfe with Emer and a baby.
Coran gives Celt a black feather.
<div>
Start: Coran isn’t surprised Piran won’t comeChallenging Situation: Celt sees a warning
triskeleConflict: Celt feels he can’t leave
Action: Coran says he won’t stay
Finish:
Coran leaves, Celt returns to Roman camp</div>
Ext. Roman camp – night
Celt returns, sees Clu, asks him what he should do. Clu just tells him to survive.
<div>
Start:
Celt returns, sees that Clu’s awake.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Clu explains his
motivation for helping RomeConflict: Celt wants to know what Rome will
expect him to do, and asks Clu for adviceAction:
Clu isn’t helpful, leavesFinish: Celt feels abandoned. Piran cowers under
cloak.</div>
Ext. Another Roman camp – day
Aggregation of other legions bringing captives, loot.
Celt girls are kept separate to service Roman soldiers.
Celt confront Sirius, who seems helpless.
<div>
Start: Celt sees more captives arriving
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt girls are taken to separate place to
sexually service soldiers
Conflict: Celt asks Sirius about it, Sirius falls
back on Roman lawAction:
Celt challenges Sirius and Rome’s ‘peace’Finish:
Celt walks away, disgusted.</div>
Ext. Roman camp – night
Celt tries to instruct smaller Celt boys in Roman ways.
Rudhek arrives, beaten up, and disses Celt.
<div>
Start:
Celt teaches boys.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Rudhek arrives
Conflict: Rudhek disses tribe for not resisting
RomansAction: Celt implies it doesn’t matter, they’re
both in same placeFinish: Rudhek tells Celt they are not the same.
</div>
Ext. Officers’ area – day
Sirius asks Roman Commander if Celt can get wider access to other Celt boys to teach them Latin. Commander agrees, so long as Sirius gives Celt something that shows/proves what he’s doing to others.
Sirius looks at his oroboros (snake eating its own tail bracelet).
<div>
Start:
Sirius points out that Celt helps pacify his tribe
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Commander is skeptical
Conflict:
Commander says Pilus wants to meet Sirius who panicsAction: Sirius asks for Celt to have wider access
to campFinish: Commander agrees, provided Celt has some
visual symbol so others can identify him.</div>
End of Act 4
Act 5
Ext. Roman camp – night
Celt wears Sirius’ oroboros and tells young boys story of Lugh and how he defeated bad gods with special sword.
Rudhek derides Celt’s efforts, calls him a collaborator and slave.
<div>
Start: Celt wears Sirius’ oroboros while he
teaches
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Boys are tired, so he tells
story insteadConflict: Rudhek interrupts, says Celt is no true
CeltAction: A boy asks if they are all slaves
Finish: Celt is troubled by that idea
</div>
Ext. Roman camp – day
More caravans of captives arrive.
Celt asks Sirius when Rome will send Roman boys as surrogates to Celtish tribes.
A small boy says another boy was beaten to death because he didn’t understand what a Roman soldier wanted.
Triskele whirs.
Rudhek id’s Celt to someone else as the boy wearing the enemy’s jewelry.
<div>
Start:
More captives arrive
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celt wants to know when
Rome will send Roman boys to learn from his tribe, like Celt is learning
from RomeConflict: Celt’s told another boy died because he
didn’t understand LatinAction: Celt
tells boy that’s why they need to learn fastFinish: Rudhek id’s Celt to Rudhek supporters by
the uroboros.</div>
Ext. Roman camp – night
Celt prays to goddess Anu, but Taranis appears. Taranis offers to help Celt, but Celt refuses.
<div>
Start:
Celt prays to Anu
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Taranis interrupts
Conflict: Taranis offers help
Action: Celt refuses
Finish: Taranis disappears
</div>
Ext. Roman camp – day
More caravans. Celtic parents and children are separated, beaten.
Celt tries to help, is rebuffed.
Rudhek and soldiers treat Celt like dog, throw dirt at him.
Celt sees triskele become snakes who taunt him.
Celt runs away.
Sirius and Pilus arrive, knock sense into Celt’s tormentors.
<div>
Start: More captives arrive.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Parents and kids are
separated, Celt helpsConflict: Rudhek and Romans pick on Celt calling
him a Roman dogAction:
Celt sees triskele snakes come alive and agreeFinish: Celt runs away, everyone fights.
</div>
Ext. Another part of camp – night
Celt runs by Roman soldiers practice fighting against gourds painted blue like Celtish war paint.
Celt runs by soldiers beating boys.
<div>
Start: Celt runs.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Celts sees soldiers practicing killing
Conflict: The gourds are painted to look like his
peopleAction: A boy he taught is beaten by a soldier
Finish: Celt keeps running
</div>
Ext. Place where Celt girls are kept – day
Soldiers drug girls, including one who looks like Aiolfe.
<div>
Start: Celt runs into camp brothel
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Girls are being drugged to make them more compliant
Conflict: Soldiers compare drugs to Sirius’
claptrap that ‘drugs’ Celt into complianceAction: Soldiers make a move on girls
Finish: Celt runs away
</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – night
Celt has vision of triskele snakes and oroboros snake coming alive taunting him to cut out his own tongue to stop collaborating and betraying his tribe.
Celt is stopped from doing this by Piran.
<div>
Start: Celt arrives at a campfire
</div><div>Challenging Situation: The snakes are talking to
him!Conflict: They entice him to cut out his own
tongueAction: He tries to do this
Finish: He is prevented from completing this by Piran
</div>
Ext. Roman campfire – day
Piran tends Celt with plantain.
Sirius arrives, wants to bring Celt to meet the Primus Pilus so Celt can be promoted.
Celt opens mouth, lets Sirius believe he’s cut out his tongue.
Sirius thinks Piran has done it, but Celt points to himself.
Sirius is appalled, abandons Celt.
Unseen, goddess Brigit confronts Taranis about Celt’s mistreatment, threatens Taranis with a hearing before the other gods.
<div>
Start: Piran tends Celt with plantain.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Did Celt sever his tongue?
Conflict: Sirius thinks he has and that his plan
to make Celt a translator has been ruined.
Action: Celt throws away the oroboros, symbol of
Celt’s servitudeFinish:
Sirius rejects Celt, goddess Brigit castigates/threatens
Taranis. (maybe the latter is
another separate scene)</div>
Ext. Roman camp – night
Celt and Piran sleep in cage.
Celt dreams of home.
Cletus wakes them up, taunts them.
<div>
Start: Celt
and Piran sleep, Celt has a nice home dream
</div><div>Challenging Situation: They wake in a cage!
Conflict: The dream turns into a nightmare when
Cletus arrives.Action: Cletus throws in bread, insults them
Finish: Cletus spits, leaves.
</div>
Ext. Beach – Day
Small boats take Celt, Piran, other captives to ship. Piran vomits on Cletus.
Celt sees animals in cages loaded, learns they’re for Roman circus.
Soldiers can’t fit a bear cub, leave it in cage to drown in incoming tide.
Celt prays to Artios, bear goddess for help.
Clu frees the cub.
Celt watches the shore disappear as fog covers him
<div>
Start:
Small boats ferry captives, loot to ships.
</div><div>Challenging Situation: Native animals also loaded.
Conflict: Bear cub abandoned in cage, tide coming
inAction: Celt prays for help.
Finish: Clu arrives undoes cage, Celt sails into
unknown future.</div>
End of Act 5
-
3. Answer the question, “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
All my scenes of any length have a start and finish that demonstrates some kind of change. That was actually my big takeaway from Robert McKee’s book Story. I usually ask these questions later in the process. It’s a good idea to do it during outlining.
TEASER
INT. UNDERGROUND ICE CAVERN – DAY
In a misty cavern, the mist forms letters “begin quarantine simulation.” The letters dissipate and the mist reform into holograms.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
INT. WHITE HOUSE SITUATION ROOM – DAY
All face point towards a Hispanic woman, the PRESIDENT. Nukes launch in fourteen hours. Nothing can be done.
The mist swirls.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
EXT. PLANE WRECKAGE – DAY
Plane wreckage surrounds a burning piece of mangled metal with the American presidential seal on it. Air Force One is down!
The mist swirls.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
EXT. LOW EARTH ORBIT – DAY
Missiles launch across America. Nukes stream high into the atmosphere. To prepare for retaliatory strike, satellites swivel into new positions.
The mist swirls.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
EXT. WHITE HOUSE BUNKER – DAY
On a satellite feed, two blinding lights detonate over a city. Mushroom clouds rise as the city below is obliterated into ash.
A centipede-like body with thousands of tentacles rises like a skyscraper. It sucks the debris cloud into its body. The ground liquefies and absorbs into the growing monstrosity.
Start: A city exists.
Challenging Situation: Not only is there a nuclear war, but a giant monster too.
Conflict: Nuclear war with some unknown enemy.
Action: destruction of a city
Finish: A giant monster emerges from the radioactive debris.
INT. UNDERGROUND ICE CAVERN – DAY
The mist swirls into red flashing letters in midair: “Ascension event timeline detected.”
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
END TEASER
ACT ONE
INT. EXECUTIVE SUITE – DAY
Renquist gropes Maria, suggests a makeover for her, and offers to make her interim CEO. She leaves to get James.
Start: The president from the simulation is a beautiful girl who dresses down to avoid her beauty, an executive at a software company.
Challenging Situation: Renquist’s money hasn’t arrived for purchase of the company.
Conflict: Renquist wants Maria to betray James and run the company.
Action: Renquist gropes Maria. She takes a fighting stance.
Finish: Maria leaves to get James.
INT. TECH CUBICLES – DAY
James playful and happy about selling company. Returns to office with Maria.
Start: James is playful and happy.
Challenging Situation: James can’t cheer Maria up for more than a moment.
Conflict: James is happy, but Maria is worried.
Action: Nerf gun battle
Finish: They return to James’ office
INT. EXECUTIVE SUITE – DAY
Renquist announces he’s stolen control of the company with a shady contract and replacing James with Maria. Maria leaves to her office.
Start: James is happy to sell his company for $1.2 billion.
Challenging Situation: Renquist is betraying James and using Maria to do it.
Conflict: It looks like Maria will betray James and run the company under Renquist.
Action: James confronts Maria about betraying him.
Finish: Maria leaves the office.
INT. MARIA’S OFFICE – DAY
Maria watches executive suite on security cameras while she does a make over. She puts hard drives in mail envelopes. Renquist’s bodyguards hold None down as Renquist kill James’ pet ants and remove him from the building.
Start: Maria is wearing frumpy clothes.
Challenging Situation: Renquist steals control of the company from James and Maria via a shady contract.
Conflict: Rage is building in Maria as she watches Renquist hurt James on the security cameras.
Action: Renquist kills James’ pet ants and has security guards knock him to the ground to watch. Guards forcibly remove James from the building to humiliate him further.
Finish: Maria leaves her office in a sexy outfit with packages.
INT. TECH CUBICLES – DAY
Maria drops the package off with Thelma and goes into executive suite to see Renquist in sexy outfit.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
INT. EXECUTIVE SUITE – DAY
Maria pretends to come on to Renquist, then kicks his ass. She tells Renquist about the surveillance tapes and he threatens to kill her.
Start: Maria seems to entice Renquist
Challenging Situation: Instead of offering favors, Renquist threatens to kill her when she tells him about the surveillance tapes.
Conflict: Maria gets her revenge for Renquist’s unwanted advances.
Action: Maria kicks Renquist’s ass.
Finish: Maria leaves Renquist in his office cowering.
EXT. JAMES’ APARTMENT – DAY
Maria tells James she didn’t betray him. James’ car gets repossessed.
Start: Maria and James are distant.
Challenging Situation: Maria makes an uncomfortable apology.
Conflict: James makes her almost beg to be friends again.
Action: James’ car gets repossessed.
Finish: James and Maria are friends again.
INT. BEER BEAKERS – NIGHT
All his money tied up in company and girlfriend left him. James decides to run for president with Maria as VP.
Start: Getting the company back seems hopeless.
Challenging Situation: All his money tied up in company. Girlfriend left him.
Conflict: Subtext implies Maria warned girlfriend about losing company.
Action: Maria gets on the bar to change channel from depressing news on TV.
Finish: As president, James sees a path to fight Renquist.
END ACT ONE
ACT TWO
INT. BEER BEAKERS – NIGHT
James bluffs some punks with steam in a steampunk bar to impress Maria.
Start: Maria is skeptical he can bluff, much less win as president.
Challenging Situation: Marie is his best friend, but doesn’t believe in him.
Conflict: James faces off against the gangbangers, using steam as a bluff in steampunk bar.
Action: James leads a conga line. Maria hurts a gangbanger that touched her.
Finish: Maria is impressed.
EXT. MARIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Maria uproots campaign signs from her lawn and goes inside.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
INT. MARIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
James and Maria make a practice video. James gets drunk, smashes her table and passes out. She uploads the video unedited out of anger. She lets James sleep it off in her bed.
Start: Maria is open to helping James’ campaign
Challenging Situation: Maria doesn’t feel listened to. James feels unsupported.
Conflict: James and Maria compete in the video.
Action: James gets drunk, smashes her table and passes out.
Finish: Maria hates his campaign, but tucks him into bed so she can make sure he’s all right.
END ACT TWO
ACT THREE
INT. MARIA’S HOUSE – DAY
James thinks they had drunk sex, only to be embarrassed when pointed out he’s still fully clothed. James assumes Maria broke the table. James’ friends are avoiding him because Renquist is on the warpath. Maria will take James home.
Start: James is so happy that he had drunk sex with Maria.
Challenging Situation: James bared his feelings for Maria and she’s not interested.
Conflict: James’ friends are avoiding him because Renquist is on the warpath.
Action: Maria rolls out of bed into an attack stance when James goes for a kiss.
Finish: James is so embarrassed that nothing actually happened with Maria.
EXT. JAMES’ APARTMENT – DAY
James opens mail. His unemployment was blocked. He’ll sell his furniture to make rent. Behind him, Maria opens the door to a ransacked apartment with destroyed furniture.
Start: Between unemployment and selling furniture, James can make rent.
Challenging Situation: Unemployment was his only money coming in and it was blocked.
Conflict: Renquist continues to close off every avenue of progress, even petty stuff.
Action: Maria opens the door to a ransacked apartment.
Finish: James can’t pay rent with no unemployment and destroyed furniture.
INT. JAMES’ APARTMENT – DAY
James’ belongings are destroyed without obvious reason. Maria confesses about the surveillance tapes. James realizes the car was repossessed so they could search it. James and Maria leave for Maria’s apartment.
Start: James’ belongings are destroyed without obvious reason.
Challenging Situation: Maria confesses about the surveillance tapes. James realizes the car was repossessed so they could search it.
Conflict: James is not happy that she recorded him in his office too.
Action: Maria tries to comfort James with an uncomfortable hug.
Finish: James suspects Maria’s home will be the next target, so James and Maria rush out the door.
EXT. MARIA’S HOUSE – DAY
Maria’s door is ajar. She rushes in. James calls the police.
<Just a quick transition less than 20 seconds long>
INT. MARIA’S HOUSE – DAY
Two intruders search her things. Maria grabs her katana from her bedroom and chases them. Intruders flee into the bathroom. Maria stabs one as they escape.
Start: Intruders are in Maria’s house
Challenging Situation: Maria’s house is being tossed as they look for surveillance tapes.
Conflict: Intruders will fight the intruders to protect her home.
Action: Maria chases the intruders and stabs one.
Finish: Maria leaves the house to find the intruders.
EXT. MARIA’S HOUSE – DAY
Maria runs across her balcony and crosses her neighbors yard with bloody katana in hand. Cops take Maria to jail.
Start: Maria exists her home with a bloody katana.
Challenging Situation: Police see her as a threat and stop her from chasing the intruders.
Conflict: The police won’t help Maria find the intruders and tell her to get on the ground.
Action: Maria runs across her porch and polevaults into the neighbor’s yard.
Finish: Cops take Maria to jail.
END ACT THREE
ACT FOUR
INT. POLICE INTERROGATION ROOM – DAY
Police question James. They imply domestic violence. James denies it, but when he lifts his shirt, he’s badly bruised. The cops leave. Renquist’s henchman comes in and threatens him if he doesn’t turn against Maria. When he gets let out, he finds out the campaign video went viral and the bruises are from smashing the table.
Start: police question James about domestic violence.
Challenging Situation: Cops thing Maria hurt James in domestic violence. He doesn’t remember the night before and has bruises he can’t explain. He has to trust Maria wouldn’t hurt him.
Conflict: Renquist’s henchman comes in and threatens him if he doesn’t turn against Maria.
Action: Police interrogate James and Renquist’s henchman threatens him.
Finish: James finds out his campaign test video went viral.
INT. MARIA’S HOUSE – DAY
Maria looks through her stolen movie collection. James tries to figure out why their video went viral, but no one is talking about him. James tells Maria about the threats. She is really onboard with the president idea.
Everyone is talking about “none of he above” and “more jobs,” the things they said in the video. Everyone is calling themselves “none of the above.” Take Back America endorse “none of the above” and “more jobs.” James knows what to do.
Start: James went viral, but no one discusses him. James’ is confused.
Challenging Situation: Maria feels violated by the intruders. James feels ignored by not going viral right.
Conflict: Maria is with James on the same page about the campaign to fight Renquist.
Action: Maria going through her collection, while James plays detective.
Finish: James’ knows how to take back their message.
INT. MARIA’S CAR – DAY
Maria brings James to the courthouse. He’s decided to change his name to None of the Above. The surprise is that she’s going to change her name to More Jobs.
Start: James decides to change his name to None of the Above.
Challenging Situation: Maria has to change her name to More Jobs.
Conflict: Maria doesn’t want to change her name.
Action: Maria tries to get James.
Finish: James flees the car before Maria gets him.
END ACT FOUR
ACT FIVE
EXT. COURTHOUSE PARKING LOT – DAY
Maria chases James around the car. He points out that their names have to match the Take Back America Movement’s endorsement if they want to take back their message.
Start: Maria is mad at James for suggesting she change her name.
Challenging Situation: Maria doesn’t want to be force to change her name.
Conflict: James and Maria don’t agree on her name change.
Action: Maria chases James around the car.
Finish: James’ arguments make Maria pause to think.
INT. COURTHOUSE – DAY
The judge lets James change his name and use the millions of views instead of the newspaper. James is now None of the Above (None). Maria can change her name to More Jobs, but needs millions of views, or else she’ll have to use the newspaper and wait. Maria does the required video.
Start: They’ve decided to change names, but it’s not automatic.
Challenging Situation: Maria can change her name to More Jobs, but needs millions of views, or else she’ll have to use the newspaper and wait.
Conflict: James and Maria must get their name changes approved.
Action: James and Maria have to argue in front of a judge.
Finish: James is now None of the Above(None) and Maria does a video to earn her name change.
INT. OFFICES OF SHEN WONG – DAY
None and Maria go to the offices of Shen Wong so that James can apologize to his brother. None still blames Shen for losing the company. Shen goes over the escape clauses from the contract they could use, but all of them are out of reach. He agrees to be their campaign manager. Maria’s name change to More Jobs comes through. They will head out on national road trip to get on the ballot before Take Back America knows they’re a real campaign.
Start: James has to apologize to his brother to get his legal advice.
Challenging Situation: James blames Shen for losing his company.
Conflict: James gives Shen an insulting apology. James only comes to Shen when he needs something.
Action: Maria barges into Shen’s office, despite an assistant that tries to stop her.
Finish: Shen gets ready to leave on a road trip with None of the Above and More Jobs.
END ACT FIVE
Log in to reply.