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Day 11 Assignments
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8 Replies
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Lesley’s Dramatic Reveals
What I learned:
– The strategy of working backwards from the “Reveal” really works!
– Sometimes it hard for me to differentiate between Intrigue and Suspense.
The “Reveals”:
Reveal 1:
M: Why is there tension between Pamela & Sam?
I: Does Pamela have it in for Sam? The assignment is juicy but is it dangerous?
S: Who is Christian Sparrow?
R: Sam slept with editor Pamela’s husband when they were separated.
I: Why does Christian refuse to be interviewed until he googles Sam and reads about her wealthy family?
S2: Is Christian guilty or innocent? He was released on a technicality.
Reveal 2:
S: What will Christian be like? (He’s bearded, pumped up, and thuggish-looking in his prison photo’s.)
R: Christian is slim, shaven, good-looking, and educated.
M: Why doesn’t Tracy like Sam?
M2: Who is the mysterious friend who loaned Christian the house and “owes him”?
Reveal 3:
I: Tracy is jealous; accuses Christian of flirting with Sam.
I2: Christian threatens to have Tracy disbarred if she doesn’t stay away from him.
R: Tracy and Christian were lovers while she was representing him.
Reveal 4:
I: After Sam writes a positive article on Christian, he invites her to lunch.
M: Why does Sam at first turn down Christian’s lunch invitation and then reconsider?
S: Sam gets an anonymous email at her office warning her to stay away from Christian.
M2: The email was sent from an internet café in the valley.
I2: Tracy lives in the valley.
Reveal 5:
I: Sam, frightened by the email, stops all communication with Christian and he’s angry..
I2: Christian starts following Sam, studying her.
S: What is Christian going to do?
R: Sam is drawn back into Christian’s web when he ‘accidentally’ runs into her at the cinema.
S2: Has Sam become Christian’s prey?
R2: Sam sleeps with Christian.
R3: Christian’s living with Sam.
Reveal 6:
M: Who is Sam’s daughter Kelsey? Why does she return home?
I: Kelsey dislikes Christian and wants to undermine his relationship with Sam.
R: Kelsey is spoiled, narcissistic, and troubled.
M2: Why did Sam refuse her inheritance?
R2: Martha, Kelsey’s grandmother is controlling and an alcoholic.
R3: When Sam’s younger brother stole money from Martha to buy drugs, Martha had him arrested and put in prison. He was killed during a prison fight.
Reveal 7:
S: What will Christian do now that he knows Sam has no money and Kelsey will be rich when she turns 21?
I: Is there sexual energy between Kelsey and Christian?
R: Christian and Kelsey have sex.
R2: Christian & Kelsey elope. No pre-nup.
M: Why doesn’t Christian want children?
R3: Sam hires Agnes, private PI. What will Agnes find out?
Reveal 8:
M: Who does the house that Christian had been living in belong to?
I: Agnes finds out that the house is owned by a Rick Passero
R: Rick Passero is Christian’s father – he’s in hospice for stage 4 lung cancer. Christian changed his name from Passero (Sparrow in Italian)
Reveal 9:
S: Martha is going to change Kelsey’s trust – Kelsey will not receive her inheritance when she turns 21.
I: Kelsey tells Christian that she’d be better off if Martha was dead.
S2: Christian learns that death by suffocation is the hardest to prove. Now what is he going to do?
R: Christian kills Martha.
Reveal 10:
M: Was Kelsey responsible for Martha’s death?.
I: Sam believes that Christian killed Martha.
R: The autopsy does not reveal foul play.
Reveal 11:
S: Agnes visits convicted blood expert Lambert in prison.
R: Lambert says that he didn’t touch the evidence in Christian’s case; he didn’t have to because Christian is guilty as hell.
Reveal 12:
S: Agnes discovers that Christian’s pregnant fiance went missing and was never found.
I: Sam visits the mother of the missing girl at her home in the valley. She’s convinced that Christian murdered her daughter when she refused to get an abortion.
R: Christian, at seven, killed his baby brother out of jealousy.
R2: The dead girl’s mother was sending the emails.
Reveal 13:
I: Kelsey is pregnant.
M: Why would Kelsey get pregnant against Christian’s wishes?
S: When Christian finds out, he’s furious. What will he do?
R: Christian grabs Kelsey’s arm hard enough to sprain it and leave bruises.
R2: Sam finds out what Christian did to Kelsey and buys a gun.
Reveal 14:
S: Sam tells Christian that she’ll kill him if he lays another hand on Kelsey.
I: Sam confronts Christian with everything she knows, says she’s going to the police.
S2: Sam draws her gun on Christian when he approaches her. He knocks it out of her hand, starts strangling her.
R: Kelsey returns home unexpectedly, grabs the gun, points it at Christian, saving her mother. Sam dials 911.
R2: Kelsey shoots Christian in cold blood.
I2: When cops come, Sam tells them that Kelsey shot Christian in self-defense.
Reveal 15:
I: Pamela is fired.
M: Why is Pamela fired?
R: Sam is the new editor of the mag.
Reveal 16:
R: It’s Kelsey’s son Teddy’s fifth birthday.
M: What’s wrong with Teddy?
R2: Teddy is a psychopath like his dad (and possibly his mother.)
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Mary Emmick’s Dramatic Reveal
What I learned is that you create demand for the reveal beforehand by building in mystery, intrigue, or suspense. The reveal must be done with dramatic impact.
Reveal #1: Someone places a bomb on the bottom of Katie’s car in the carwash. The bomb that was attached clumsily to the bottom of the car falls off in the carwash. After Katie drives away the carwash explodes. She is safe.
Reveal #2: Jack Green’s computer goes down as he is working late at night. Power goes out and he takes Katie and their granddaughter Molly with them to UnisoftNW to work and for safety! Meanwhile, two men break into their house and break into their computer and burgle their house. They find some old, copied VHS children’s tapes and confiscate them. Katie, Jack, and Molly are put up in a nearby hotel temporarily for their safety. Later it is revealed that Aaron Stench was responsible for the hacking of the system and of shutting down Jack’s internet and power to their house.
Reveal #3: After their house has been broken into police show up at the Green’s house and they accuse Katie and Jack of having pirated old 80’s VHS children’s tapes and fine them. These are the same guys with Eastern European accents (Czech accents) we saw in an earlier scene at a bar with Victor Ivanova, Olga’s assistant.
Reveal #4: Katie and Natasha are at an outdoor café, and a car races towards them at high speed. Natasha’s leg is inured. Katie notices a small sticker on the license plate that identifies the driver as affiliated with NWOP (New World Order Party).
Reveal #5: Katie enters a salon to have her hair done. A substitute stylist tells her that her regular stylist Sue is sick. No one else is in the salon. FACT NEWS is being broadcast on the television. Katie sees in the mirror the stylist is picking up a pair of sharp scissors and is about to stab her. Katie quickly swivels around in her chair and kicks the stylist to the ground and flees. She pours hair gel on her assailant’s face and head blinding the stylist for the time being. A car chase ensues and Katie drives away safely when a large group of political protesters who support the Justice Party cross the street when the light turns red halting the assailant’s car.
Reveal #6: Katie is whisked away in the gardener’s car. She thinks she is being kidnapped by those wanting to kill her. Surprisingly he says nothing but drops her off at her house. Later in the story: The gardener (who is actually CIA sent to protect Katie) shares with her that new garden member Allison Hanover set up the garden tour at the Lake Washington estate and garden and that Allison works for Aaron Stench and the estate belongs to him. Allison planned to have Katie assassinated. We learn that Allison Hanover drops out of the garden club as she is moving back to Connecticut. We later learned she was arrested.
Reveal #6: When Katie is entering the Morluvian Immigrant Assistance Center to attend the charity luncheon, Katherine Volodko, the annoying immigrant who does kitchen work at the center, pulls Katie aside. She tells her that Olga should not be messing with the table she just set up and to watch as Olga is switching everything around. They watch as Olga switches a green beverage glass with a blue one. Katherine pulls Natasha aside and tells her to assist Olga after Katherine clumsily drops some plates so Katie can switch the glasses back. It turns out Olga had switched her glass with Natasha’s.
Later at the luncheon, Olga passes out as she drinks the glass that she had poisoned. Natasha calls an ambulance. As the ambulance drives up, we see Victor waiting in his car. Was he planning to drive Natasha’s dead body away? Police arrest Victor as he is wanted as a member of the Tajerkistani mob.
Reveal #7 With Olga out of the picture, Natasha and Katie are ushered into Olga’s office where they immediately lock the door. Natasha reveals that she had been listening on a device of Olga’s plan to poison Natasha. Katherine breaks into Olga’s computer and begins explaining the master plan of Olga who works for President Stepanov and the cabal. Katherine tells them she is an undercover CIA spy. She shares with them that the cabal wants to take over the world and that they must expose the plan to the authorities.
Reveal #8: They expose this diabolical plan to take over the world, to the president, the press, and the world. Natasha’s brother escapes from the Tajerkistani prison with Katherine’s help. He leads an uprising that overthrows the corrupt government lead by Stepanov. Others in the cabal are exposed as criminals: Aaron Stench’s takeover of the social media company goes to pot and he is bankrupt. He is indicted for hacking into UnisoftNW and multiple corruption charges. Gordon Grime’s international television empire falls to the lowest ratings ever and everyone considers Gordon and his media empire a laughingstock. By their sheer ego mania and stupidity Aaron Stench and Gordon Grimes, President Igor Stepanov, and the cabal ruin any success they may have had. In the next election the Justice Party wins, and democracy and freedom survive. President Igor Stepanov is overthrown and indicted and Tajerkistan no longer wages war against Morluvia. Antony Petrov becomes an important advisor to the president of Morluvia.
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Budinscak’s Dramatic Reveals – Day 11
What I learned Doing This Assignment:
o Reveals should never happen via exposition – they need dramatic impact.
o Create demand for the reveals by MIS
o A reveal is either a secret or some key piece of information that changes the audience’s perception on the story in some way
o This exercise completely changed the ending of my script. My villain is definitely the red herring character. Interesting revelation.
o I interchanged suspense and intrigue
1. Make a list of the important reveals that you want the audience to experience.
Reveal 1:
Intrigue: An exhausted woman collapses at the feet of a robotic animal – “6 hours earlier”
Mystery: What happened to her?
Suspense: Robotic animals?
Reveal 2:
Suspense: Who is she?
Intrigue: What makes her special?
Reveal: Vicki is an expert scout and rookie forest ranger
Reveal 3
Mystery: A helicopter’s flight through the mountains is mirrored by 2 different drones.
Suspense: Different drones
Suspense: Who’s the passenger(s)
Reveal: Our villain, the Commander
Reveal 4
Intrigue: The Commander produces a unique, hi-tech collar
Suspense: How is this used and why?
Mystery: Who is this guy? Who does he work for?
Reveal: The Commander hints that ‘it’s for control’
Reveal
Intrigue: One of the drones shoots down the other
Reveal: The Commander, ‘better be one of ours’
Reveal 5
Mystery: Driving home, Vicki is momentarily blinded by a lazar/bright light from an unknown source.
Intrigue: What is this?
Reveal: A flying object
Reveal 6
Mystery: The flying object zips towards a herd of grazing deer – it spooks them
Intrigue: What’s happening?
Reveal: The deer flee into the road, on a collision course with Vicki’s jeep
Reveal 7
Intrigue: The jeep crashes evading the ‘mobilized’ deer
Mystery: Were the deer used as a weapon?
Mystery: Was that an intentional, coordinated attack?
Suspense: Is Vicki okay?
Reveal: Vicki’s fine, but nothing with a chip works
Reveal 8
Mystery: Why doesn’t the cell phone work?
Mystery: Why won’t the jeep start? Radio work?
Intrigue: Vicki heads out on foot.
Reveal: Something in the woods is following Vicki
Reveal 9
Suspense: Howls – wolves follow Vicki
Mystery: How will she escape?
Reveal: Are they hunting?
Reveal 10
Mystery: What are the wolves protecting?
Intrigue: What’s caused this behavior?
Suspense: Why do the wolves look at Vicki, howl then leave
Reveal: Two exotic kittens
Reveal 11
Mystery: What are these animals?
Intrigue: How did these animals get here?
Reveal: Vicki makes a sling and brings the animals on the journey with her.
Reveal 12
Intrigue: Vicki spots a drone enter an abandoned mine shaft
Mystery: Why would it fly in there?
Mystery: Who’s piloting the drone?
Reveal: The mine is definitely not abandoned
Intrigue: Who operates down here?
Reveal 13
Mystery: Where is Vicki going as she descends the ladder?
Intrigue: the ladder breaks as Vicki’s half way down
Suspense: How will she get out?
Mystery: Are the exotic kittens okay?
Reveal: There’s a series of tunnels and caves
Reveal 14
Mystery: Where do these lead?
Reveal: Vicki uses her girl scout experience to determine which cave
Intrigue: Where do those unnatural sounds come from?
Reveal 15
Mystery: Where are the voices coming from?
Intrigue: Vicki sneaks up on an armed ‘security’ guy talking to himself
Reveal: Animals and people are held captive
Mystery: Why does he keep asking ‘which one of you is the alien?’
Reveal 16
Mystery: How many comprise this security team?
Intrigue: Vicki’s spotted by one of the security team. She takes off.
Mystery: Who’s chasing Vicki?
Reveal: Vicki meets Camper Bob
Reveal 17
Mystery: Who is Camper Bob?
Intrigue: Not much of Camper Bob’s story adds up
Reveal: He’ll do and say anything to save himself.
Mystery: Come back to the same mystery, who is Camper Bob?
Reveal 18
Intrigue: Vicki is interrogated by the Commander
Mystery: Why did their paths cross? What does she know?
Mystery: Why is she here? Does Vicki work for a competitor?
Reveal: Vicki is one tough SOB
Reveal 19
Intrigue: One of the Commander’s crew lets Vicki go.
Mystery: Why was she set free?
Mystery: Who is this guy?
Reveal: The Commander shoots him dead.
Reveal 20
Intrigue: Vicki protects the exotic kittens with her body
Suspense: Will she be able to protect the kittens?
Mystery: Will she survive?
Reveal: Vicki is seriously wounded.
Reveal 21
Intrigue: The Commander rushes to Vicki’s side
Mystery: What is the Commander doing?
Mystery: What’s happening to the exotic kittens?
Reveal: the Commander is the red herring. He’s an alien along with the kittens.
Reveal 22
Mystery: What happens to Vicki?
Intrigue: What are the aliens doing to Vicki’s body?
Reveal: Vicki is ‘restored’ into two entities – her flesh and her spirit
Reveal 23
Mystery: What happens with the remaining bad guys?
Intrigue: Vicki’s spirit self is something else – she condemns the remaining security force.
Reveal: The remaining bad guys leave with the alien crew. Everything is wrapped up and made to disappear
Reveal 24
Mystery: Will Vicki be able to keep her appointment for the girl scouts meeting?
Intrigue: Rumors run rampant Vicki was involved with UFOs last night
Reveal: Meet the new and improved Forest Ranger Vicki.
3. With each reveal, make sure the following are in place:
A. What is the reveal?
B. How did it get covered up?
C. What MIS can be used to create demand to know the truth?
D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact
4. Build any improvements into your thriller map.
5. Tell us about the reveals you built into your Thriller Map
The ending has changed dramatically from the first day. Many of the reveals were in the story, this process tightened up the story.
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Assignment 11:
Pat’s Dramatic Reveals.
What I learned is: How to make sure all your mysteries, intrigues and suspense have a reveal in your story.
Make a list of the important reveals that you want the audience to experience.
Reveal 1:
INTRIGUE: Three men are found dead.
Reveal: Who killed them and why.
REVEAL 2:
MYSTERY: Why is his brother missing.
Reveal: His brothers are dead.
REVEAL 3
Intrigue: John George is belligerent when interview by police.
Reveal: He’s hiding something else.
REVEAL 4:
Intrigue: Neighbors give John George a bad name.
Reveal: The neighbors have something to hide too.
REVEAL: 5:
Mystery: Why is Mr. favors feeding all the searches.
Reveal: He’s hiding more than one thing.
REVEAL:6
MYSTERY: Blood is found in John George’s truck.
Suspense: The blood is sent to a lab
Reveal: The blood is not human. It’s deer blood.
REVEAL: 7
Intrigue: Terry decides he must find his brothers killer on his own.
Reveal: Terry does find who the killer is.
REVEAL: 8
Mystery: Someone kills one of John George’s sons.
Suspense: John George believes it was Terry Holder, our hero.
Reveal: He’s killed by Harry Favors because he was snoopy around the shed where the ATVS are hidden.
REVEAL: 9
Intrigue: learns John George has been in prison.
Mystery: What was he in prison for.
Reveal: Shooting deer out of season and carrying them across state lines.
REVEAL: 10
Intrigue: Terry Holder and George cross paths on the street.
Suspense: Terry has a fight with John George.
Reveal: John George is not the killer.
REVEAL: 11
Intrigue: Why would someone shoot John George.
Mystery: Who shot John George?
Reveal: John George was shot by Harry Favors.
Reveal 12:
MYSTERY: Who would run them off the road?
INTRIGUE: Why would someone run them off the road?
Reveal: John George’s son did it because of his father and brother being killed.
REVEAL: 13
MYSTERY: Who called Terry with the tip of who done it?
Intrigue: For what reason would someone call with a tip?
Reveal: Mrs. Harry Favors calls in the tip. She doesn’t want to get charged with the crime.
2. Sequence them to fit into your Thriller Map. (As numbered)
3. With each reveal, make sure the following are in place:
• A. What is the reveal?
• B. How did it get covered up?
• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact.
4. Build any improvements into your Thriller Map.
5. Tell us about the reveals you built into your Thriller Map. (as above)
Entered each in my map. Tighten the story. It made the last part more entertaining.
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THRILLER ASSIGNMENT DAY 11
Alfred’s Dramatic Reveals
What I learned doing this assignment is:
I need more thought-input into my reveals. The still don’t have the impact I’m looking for. Maybe I still don’t have enough grasp of the O.S. (Overall Story), yet.
1. Make a list of the important reveals that you want the audience to experience.
(See Map)
2. Sequence them to fit into your Thriller Map.
(See Map)
3. With each reveal, make sure the following are in place:
(See Map)
· A. What is the reveal?
· B. How did it get covered up?
· C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
· D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact.
4. Build any improvements into your Thriller Map.
(See Map)
5. Tell us about the reveals you built into your Thriller Map.
It seems to me that each twist is initiated by a reveal or partial reveal. Some reveals seem more dramatic than others. I need to think of ways to make all of them more dramatic.
THRILLER MAP
ACT 1
STEP 1 – OPENING/CALL TO ADVENTURE: (The HERO is reluctant)
Status Quo
TRUST: Spencer and Russell are Rangers who have worked together for some time. They know each other and trust each other.
STORY: Russell, Spencer’s boss, has just received orders to investigate a remote site in the mountains where several mutilated bodies have been discovered and reported.
TWIST 1 Direction: Spencer has plans of going fishing.
Twist: Russell has other plans and won’t reconsider finding someone else. He’s peeved.
LIFE THREATENING 1: Mutilated dead bodies have been found in the mountains.
MYSTERY 1: Who are they? Why up in the mountains? Who or what did this?
INTRIGUE 1: Some of the town people in the valley outside the National Park are claiming that it’s the work of Aliens. Others claim wild animals.
LIFE THREATENING 2: Spencer is not aware of what Russell has done to cause this (back story).
Story: Russell and Spencer take a, narrow, long, winding road into the mountains, to a lodge and pack station, just outside the National Park perimeter. They stay in the lodge, overnight
Story: The lodge owner has a small farm, of sorts, with three huge Irish Wolfhounds to guard her goats and chickens (primarily), which she keeps for fresh milk and eggs (the trip into town his long and slow).
Story: The lodge is old and rustic and marginally comfortable, but the lodge owner, Hilda, a youngish Austrian woman, puts on a tasty meal and entertains them, before the Great Stone Fireplace, with scary tales of the mythical characters and creatures like owlbears and Bahamut – creatures that are also shape-shifters. “Watch out! That beautiful woman you meet may just be Bahamut on the prowl!” Hilda affirms that according to her information, there are four bodies.
Story: Russell and Spencer rent horses from the pack station, head south, up into the mountains, and by late afternoon, they are back, body count affirmed. There is a fenced-off habitat, area. Spencer thinks the fenced-off area is odd. He is a biologist and sees no sense in it. A lovely young female hiker passes by – stops long enough to watch – says nothing.
Story: Next day, they repeat the same trek with four pack mules. They bag the bodies and pack them out, with four very jumpy, unhappy mules.
Story: The dogs, though some distance away, go wild.
TWIST 2 Direction: Russell is Spencer’s “boss” and thinks he knows more and has more experience than he does – a little self-deception.
Twist: Spencer immediately begins to question Russell’s judgement. Tells him of his distrust of Hilda
DISTRUST: Spencer thinks, Hilda is “crazier than a loon.”
Direction: Russell trusts that he can keep Spencer focused on the bodies and from not asking too many questions.
Twist: Spencer gets caught up in the challenge and that threatens Russell. Spencer tries to control it.
TWIST 3 Direction: Russell is perhaps too eager to pass the findings off as Alien
Twist: Spencer questions Russell’s sincerity in bowing to rumor.
DISTRUST: Spencer loses faith in Russell, and this gets Spencer to questioning the evidence even more.
MYSTERY 2: The bodies are mutilated, but Spencer cannot see any specific weaponry being used (guns, knives, etc.)?
MYSTERY 3: Why is that area fenced off? It doesn’t seem appropriate.
TWIST 4 Direction: Russell continues to be perhaps too eager to pass the findings off as Alien
Twist: Spencer questions Russell’s motives for championing such nonsense.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 1: Is to try to get Spencer, and everyone else, to agree with him and pass it off as Aliens or wild animals
MYSTERY 4: Who is this Hilda woman, anyway? Is she nuts or just strange?
DISTRUST: Spencer loses more faith in Russell, and this gets Spencer to questioning the evidence even more, including Hilda.
DISTRUST: Hilda’s stories are a bit too much for Spencer… and those dogs?!
INCITING INCIDENT/DRIVER: (HERO MUST FIND AN ANSWER/SOLUTION)
TRUST: Spencer is more-or-less forced to side with Russell. He cannot think of anything else, and there are those dogs, after all!
TWIST 5
Direction: Spencer is beginning to suspect the lodge owner, Hilda, of more.
Twist: Hilda claims an iron-clad proof she could not have done it
Hilda appears untrustworthy, to Spencer despite her claims. He continues to question her mental state.
LIFE THREATENING 3: If Hilda is the killer, Spencer and Russell could be next. Spencer backs off.
TWIST 6
Direction: Russell orders Spencer to cease and desist his looking for more evidence.
Twist: Spencer can’t let the mystery alone, however, and since he’s already lost faith in Russell, he covertly continues, anyway.
The relationship between Spencer and Russell is further weakened
LIFE THREATENING 4: Spencer has no idea of what he’s walking into.
STEP 2
Story: The bodies are hauled down the mountain and delivered to the County Coroner.
TWIST 7
Direction: The idea peddled to the corner is that wild animals attacked the hikers.
Twist: Later, after Russell is gone, the corner says, “it looks more like they were bombed.”
INTRIGUE 2: Is there any possibility that the coroner could be right? Could they have been bombed or perhaps had some other sort of mechanical device used on them?
TWIST 8
Direction: The corner remains mixed in his judgement.
Twist: Spencer considers the coroner’s words and thinks the dead were murdered.
LIFE THREATENING 5: Spencer is raising questions that are putting him in danger of Russell.
REVEAL
A. What is the reveal? – The evidence does not fully support the idea of wild animals or Aliens.B. How did it get covered up? – Russell has been too anxious to support an unsupportable theory.C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? – the mystery remains: who or what, and the suspense is in the lack of a definite answer.D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. – the impact lies in the lack of anything definite, and this only strengthens the unknown: mythical creatures or Aliens?
TWIST 9
Direction: Spencer is biologically savvy enough to question why that area is fenced.
Twist: He discovers that Russell requestioned the wire. Russell says he simply forgot… knows nothing else.
Spencer now fully distrusts Russell. Is he simply getting old and forgetful (or worse), or his he hiding something?
REVEAL
A. What is the reveal? Russell is lying about something.B. How did it get covered up? Russell explicitly says he knows nothing about the habitat area.C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? We have a mystery within a mystery. How does one unwind that? Who ordered that area fenced-off? And why?D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. Is Russell’s mind failing him or is he flat-out lying? If he’s lying, why? What’s he hiding?
TWIST 10
Direction: The dogs are huge, growling and baring their teeth.
Twist: Hilda, takes Spencer to the dogs, speaks to the dogs, they become as docile as kittens.
Spencer is changing his mind about Hilda – from distrust to trust. She seems to have good excuses.
REVEAL
A. What is the reveal? The dogs are not good evidence for the killings.B. How did it get covered up? The dogs acted viciously when Spencer first encountered them.C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? The mystery is, did they or didn’t they? The intrigue is in the possibilities: Maybe they appear innocent only in the presence of Hilda. Maybe Hilda ordered the attack. Maybe Hilda, did it?D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. Hilda is beginning to look as innocent as the dogs, and Russell is raising questions about himself. This leaves the investigation dangling.
TWIST 11
Direction: Everything seems random and disconnected. However —
Twist: Spencer learns that the epicenter is in the same area as the fence and the dead bodies.
Spencer is beginning to reconsider – could Russell have had anything to do with this?
REVEAL
A. What is the reveal? There is some sort of connection between the earthquake, the fence, and the dead bodies.B. How did it get covered up? Russell has misled everyone with constant talk of wild animals (what wild animals, at this altitude?) and Aliens (where’s any real evidence?).C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? The mystery is still buried in all the possibilities and the unknown.D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. Russell is demanding an end to the investigating, but new clues keep popping up – the earthquake? What could that possibly have to do with anything? It only raises the stakes
TWIST 12
Direction: The lodge owner states that her nearby pack station is the only on in the area near the mutilations.
Twist: Spencer discovers another pack station, but on the other side of the mountain.
Spencer’s Distrust of Hilda returns. He discovers another pack station on the other side of the mountain. Why is Hilda unaware of this?
VILLAIN’S PLAN 2: To try and keep Spencer quiet – get Spencer to quit asking questions that might expose him
REVEAL
A. What is the reveal? There is another pack station on the other side of the mountain.B. How did it get covered up? Hilda says her pack station is the only one in the region. Why does she not know of her local competition?C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth? The mystery becomes how did all that wire make its way up the mountain, by whom, when, and why?D. When you reveal the truth, it must have dramatic impact. Russell apparently knows more than he’s willing to acknowledge, as well as Hilda.
TWIST 13
Direction: Russell discovers that Spencer is still asking questions.
Twist: However, Spencer, without revealing all his evidence, tells Russell he still suspects Hilda and her huge dogs that either got loose or were taken to the area. Revenge for something, maybe?
The trust between Spencer and Russell is gone, despite Russell’s regained trust in Spencer.
VILLAIN’S PLAN 3: Try to get Spencer, and everyone else, to agree with him and pass it off simplistically.
TWIST 14
Direction: Russell is pleased with Spencer’s viewpoint shift, but pays Hilda a visit, on the quiet.
Twist: Hilda becomes angry and wary of Spencer.
TURNING POINT 1 – Spencer still suspects Hilda’s dogs and a coverup, despite all
MYSTERY 5: What is going on in Russel’s head? He seemed to champion the wild animals, idea. Now he likes Spencer’s focus on Hilda
VILLAIN’S PLAN 4: To milk Spencer’s belief that it was Hilda and her dogs.
LIFE THREATENING 6: If guilty, will Hilda try to quiet Spencer if/when she suspects “he knows to much.”
DISTRUST: Hilda’s stories continue to be a bit too much for Spencer, and then, there are those dogs! He has no real evidence, but he still distrusts her.
ACT 2
STEP 3 – HILDA BECOMES THE FOCUS
STEP 4 –HILDA BECOMES LESS AND LESS A FOCUS
MIDPOINT TWIST: (THE EYE OPENER) – Spencer now begins to suspect Russell
LIFE THREATENING #: Russell is the Villain, but why and how? Spencer is still in the dark.
ACT 3
STEP 5 – RUSSELL BECOMES THE FOCUS
STEP 6
LIFE THREATENING #: Russell is the Villain, but why and how? Evidence mounts.
TURNING POINT 2: (THE BATTLE SEEMS LOST) – (THE ANTAGONIST/VILLAIN APPEARS TO HAVE VANQUISHED THE HERO)
LIFE THREATENING #:– literally takes on a new meaning as Spencer struggles to stay alive.
MYSTERY #: – Will Spencer make it?
VILLAIN’S PLAN #– to kill Spencer and default to putting the suspicion back on the lodge owner.
ACT 4
CRISIS: PROTAGONIST (HERO) AND ANTAGONIST (VILLAIN) MEET FACE TO FACE)
LIFE THREATENING #:– This has literally become a life and death battle.
MYSTERY #: – Who will survive?
VILLAIN’S PLAN #– To stay alive by vanquishing Spencer.
STEP 7 –SPENCER MUST RUN FOR HIS LIFE AND STOP RUSSEELL
LIFE THREATENING +: Russell must eliminate Spencer in a wild drive to protect himself.
STEP 8 — CLIMAX: (FINAL CONFLICT — ONE MUST EMERGE A WINNER)
RESOLUTION-/-DENOUMENT: (NEW STATUS QUO)
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What I learned is that my reveals are heavily stacked toward the back end of this story. I think in part that’s because it’s more of a mystery than thriller (if anyone is still reading these things or ever was: sorry if I sound like a broken record). But I do think it would behoove me to build in more reveals in the first and second act of the book to keep things tense and exciting. This exercise was a good way to start doing that; it definitely catalyzed some ideas.
Reveal #1
Intrigue: Dead body in the flowers.
Mystery: Who is she? Did she fall?
Reveal: She didn’t fall—she was pushed.
Reveal #2
Intrigue: A flower pot drops, narrowly missing Skye’s head.
Reveal: The killer is still in the village.
Suspense: Skye decides to investigate…putting his own life at risk.
Reveal #3
Intrigue: What is Vero’s secret? Why is she so upset?
Reveal: She’s pregnant—and she wants an abortion.
Mystery: Who got her pregnant?
Reveal #4
Mystery: Where is Franco’s sister?
Intrigue: He’s kept this information secret for some reason. Hasn’t ‘said much about her.
Reveal: His sister isn’t dead.
Reveal #5
Mystery: Who is the guest across the street from Skye?
Reveal: He’s a British man with a sick wife. Sounds a lot like William and Margaret.
Intrigue: Did this man kill Francesca?
Suspense: Is he going to kill Skye next?
Reveal #6
Intrigue: Lorna had sex with Franco, but hasn’t mentioned it to anyone involved in the investigation.
Mystery: Why is she revolted by the memory now?
Reveal: Lorna has since learned something about Franco that changed everything.
Reveal #7
Mystery: Why didn’t Alessandro show up to meet Skye?
Reveal: He’s in the hospital. He was poisoned.
Suspense: Will Skye be poisoned next?
Reveal #8
Mystery: Why does Terra hate Skye so much?
Reveal: He got her best friend pregnant.
Intrigue: Is the villain going to use this against him?
Reveal #9
Mystery: Why is the birth certificate important?
Reveal: Lorna’s birthdate isn’t what she’s been told. (Ooooh and maybe this is how Vero knew it was her own daughter! Maybe SHE was the one trying to give Lorna the truth.)
Intrigue: Someone lied to her about the circumstances of her birth.
Suspense: What is going to happen to Skye now that he’s discovered this?
Reveal #10
Mystery: Who is Lorna, really?
Reveal: She’s Francesca’s daughter.
Reveal #11
Reveal: Lorna killed Francesca.
Intrigue: She’s been the one pulling the puppet strings all along.
Suspense: Now that Skye knows the truth—she throws him into the catacombs.
Reveal: #12
Mystery: What really happened when William took Lorna home?
Reveal: William was an abusive/absent father to Lorna. He also killed Margaret!
Suspense: And now she’s going to kill
Reveal #13
Intrigue: Skye is imprisoned, going to die.
Suspense: Will he be able to get out?
Reveal: His cute little Midwestern mom rescues him—not as innocent as she seems.
Reveal #14
Intrigue: There’s still something Lorna is hiding.
Mystery: What is she hiding?
Reveal: It wasn’t Lorna who killed Francesca. It was Poppy.
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What I learned is that writing the reveals is very fun, but also takes a lot of time, because there are so many and they all have several angles and developments. Wow. The reveals are an integral part of a Thriller’s success. They should be shocking and further the story.
1. Make a list of the important reveals that you want the audience to experience.
– That Keith, Gabe and Jack could be responsible for the “Boys in the Woods” murders.
– While people love him in town, Keith’s father is violently abusive to Keith.
– Jack has chosen Gabe and Keith not to mentor them, but to train them to do his dirty work. He is the one who gives them the robes and masks they use when they commit crimes.
– Jack and the Judge have an arsenal of weapons. Why would a judge and a preacher need that?
– Jack and the Judge are using the Book of Azariah to enact the Angel of Fire ritual.
– Jack conducts a bizarre ancient ritual with the boys that includes psycho-active drugs, alcohol, animal sacrifice and group sex.
– Keith is stalking and assault Jack’s accusers.
– Keith is being stalked by someone else.
– There are murders taking place. It could be Beau, Gabe, Keith, or Jack. It could be one of them or none of them.
– Beau is killed, leaving Heather heartbroken.
– Laura is not only sleeping with Keith, but with Gabe. She reveals she has also slept with Jack and the Judge as well.
– It is revealed that the Angel of Fire plan from the Book of Azariah is for a man to go into the fire and to be re-born and transformed by it. If performed correctly, the devil will transform the man in the fire into the Angel of Fire, able to channel the devil’s powers on earth.
– It is revealed that Jack and the Judge are working with The Company running insane amounts of guns, drugs and money.
– It is revealed that Keith has chosen Jack over his family when he gives Jack a sex tape his parents have made – humiliating them.
– It is revealed that the Judge is unhappy with his arrangement with The Company. Sure he gets to lord over the town, but he reveals that he hates the feeling of being a pawn in their game.
– It is revealed that The Judge uses his inside knowledge of the prestigious members of the town to blackmail them and get his son to be let go.
– It is revealed that The Sheriff is killed. Keith finds his body and all of The Sheriff’s research into Jack, the Judge and The Company. Keith is the prime suspect after being seen by a deputy at the scene of the murder and after others witnessed him getting into a fight with the Sheriff.
– It is revealed that Keith seeks help from Heather and Barbara but they are so mad at him and scared of him that they turn him in instead of helping him.
– It is revealed that Keith has fallen fully into Jack and The Judge’s plan, exactly as he wanted.
– It is revealed that it is the Judge who puts out the arrest warrant for Keith, cementing his fate.
– It is revealed that even when Barbara tries to do the right thing and tell someone about what Keith has told her, in a chilling scene, the Deacon tells her there’s nothing to be done now and to “just pray about it”
– It is revealed that Joe, Barbara, Heather and Laura are all rounded up like livestock being taken to the slaughter by Gabe.
– It is revealed that Jack convinces Keith to kill his father.
– It is revealed that Keith can’t kill his mom, sister or Heather and Gabe does it instead. Using a gun on Barbara and Laura and when the gun jams, in a very dramatic moment, Gabe slits Heather’s throat saying “I guess you’re not going to have such a perfect life after all huh?”
– It is revealed that Jack’s plan to transform into the Angel of Fire has actually worked, against all odds.
– It is revealed that The Judge orchestrates Gabe going to the insane asylum and Keith going to prison.
– It is revealed that Jack double crosses The Judge and The Company. In a striking scene, Jack tells The Judge he’s done with him and The Company and if he ever comes for him, he’ll burn him alive for everything he did to him and his sister.
– It is revealed that Jack double crosses Keith, leaving him in prison for the rest of his life and he double crosses Gabe, convincing him to kill himself.2. Sequence them into your Thriller Map.
– Check.3. With each reveal, make sure the following are in place:
– That Keith, Gabe and Jack could be responsible for the “Boys in the Woods” murders.
• A. What is the reveal?
That Keith, Gabe and Jack or a combination of the three are likely responsible for the “Boys in the Woods” murders.• B. How did it get covered up?
The murders took place far enough away from Black Maple that no one in Black Maple is suspected. Jack took the boys hunting and they came back with several deer, like he said they would. Everyone loves Jack and he is the last person anyone would suspect of committing a crime.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth are:
Mystery – People want to know who killed these boys and what the motive was.
Intrigue – People want to know why they were killed in the ritualistic way that they were.
Suspense – People are scared for their kids to be out alone in the woods, putting more kids into Jack’s Program.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
There is a dramatic reveal when Heather sees Keith covered in blood.
There is a dramatic reveal when Keith tells The Sheriff and Heather and Barbara that he knows who killed The Boys in the Woods but they have to guarantee his safety. (They won’t, so he doesn’t)– While people love him in town, Keith’s father is violently abusive to Keith.
• A. What is the reveal?
That while Keith’s father Joe is a well loved and respected person to the town of Black Maple, he secretly is violently abusive to his only son.• B. How did it get covered up?
Joe only beats Keith in their home. To the outside world he is the perfect father.
If he ever hits Keith in the face his mother Barbara uses make up to conceal it, which leads Joe to call Keith a pussy.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth are:
Mystery: Why is Joe so violent with Keith and no one else? Why does he hurt Keith?
Intrigue: What does Joe have against Keith that makes him lash out at him?
Suspense: Is Joe going to kill Keith? Will Keith retaliate for Joe’s beatings?• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
Keith reveals his abuse to Jack. Jack tells him he understands like no one else can, because he went to high school with Joe and knows how he is. He tells Keith he will stand up to Joe for him. This makes Keith very emotional and grateful to Jack.– Jack has chosen Gabe and Keith not to mentor them, but to train them to do his dirty work. He is the one who gives them the robes and masks they use when they commit crimes.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that Jack is pulling Gabe and Keith into something sinister, without their parents knowledge.• B. How did it get covered up?
It was covered up by the fact that Keith and Gabe’s parents WANT Jack to choose their sons for his Program. To them and the people of Black Maple, to be chosen by Jack is a great honor and one worthy of praise and adoration. The boys are a part of a special Group now that Jack and his father The Judge oversee.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery: Heather questions Keith on what really goes on in The Program. She suspects Laura is involved after Beau slept with her and now Keith is spending time with her.
Intrigue: Barbara wants to know what really goes on in the Program. She’s suspicious of Jack – she’s one of the few people who know he has a dark side – from their time together in high school.
Suspense: The Sheriff, Heather, and Barbara are all trying to figure out what is really going on in The Program. They know something is off, and they know murders are occurring, but they can’t put their finger on exactly what is happening.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
Keith reveals the truth about the Program to Heather and she confronts Beau with this information. He admits it’s true but begs her to stay out of it. “This was going on before you and it’s going to continue after you. Just stay out of it and get the hell out of this town”
It is revealed that Keith is stalking Jack’s accusers and that Gabe is stalking Keith.– Jack and the Judge have an arsenal of weapons. Why would a judge and a preacher need that?
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that Jack and The Judge, while portraying themselves as great pillars of Black Maple’s legal and religious community actually have a battery of weapons and munitions in the compound out in the woods on their land.
• B. How did it get covered up?
No one dares go onto The Judge’s land without his permission and only people who are sworn to secrecy in a blood oath are allowed into the compound to see what Jack and The Judge actually have.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – People hear loud noises coming from the Judge’s land and wonder what they are.
Intrigue – People know something is going on with The Program, but they can’t figure out what it is. The Judge’s land is outside of The Sheriff’s jurisdiction, so he can’t investigate it even if he wanted to. The Judge planned well when he built the Compound where he did.
Suspense – The staging of the weapons and the boys using them is very suspenseful – they are taught how to stalk and kill out in the woods.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that Jack and The Judge are training the boys on weapons, but we don’t know why. Is it to protect Black Maple from the killer at large? Is it to train the boys to kill for them?– Jack and the Judge are using the Book of Azariah to enact the Angel of Fire ritual.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that Jack and his father the Judge are reading from the Book of Azariah in an attempt to enact the Angel of Fire ritual and summon the devil and his powers.• B. How did it get covered up?
It got covered up because Jack is the town’s preacher and the Judge is the town’s judge. The Program they run is concerned a benefit to all of the kids who go through it. No one would ever guess that Jack and his father are involved in satan worship.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why are Jack and his father going over this ancient book
Intrigue – Beau tells Keith Jack is into some ancient stuff with The Order, but he doesn’t tell him what – making him curious.Suspense – It is revealed that Jack and The Judge are not who they present themselves to be… They are performing a ritual with blood when we see them with the Book of Azariah, turning up the danger. (We know there have been murders lately)
• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of this reveal is that both Jack and The Judge are not who they appear to be to the townspeople and that they are using a blood ritual from the Book of Azariah to summon the devil himself.– Jack conducts a bizarre ancient ritual with the boys that includes psycho-active drugs, alcohol, animal sacrifice and group sex.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that the Program that the boys are in, and that Gabe and Keith have been hand picked for is actually a satanic ritual.• B. How did it get covered up?
As the Preacher of Black Maple, Jack has used The Program as an excuse to mentor young boys for decades. The parents of the boys in the Program think that Jack is helping their boys when really he has been using them and abusing them.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is …
Mystery – What is really going on in The Program? Why is it so secretive and hush hush?
Intrigue – When it is revealed that The Program is actually a cover for The Ritual, the question becomes why? What are they doing the ritual for?
Suspense – The ritual involves the drinking of a strong Psilocybin mushroom tea, leading the boys to hallucinate and see Laura levitating above them. They feel like they are falling and they must offer sacrifices to her and pledge their allegiance to her and Jack. After the sacrifices, she allows them to ravage her.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of The Ritual is that while the parents of the boys in The Program think that their boys are being mentored to be better men, they are actually being used by Jack in a satanic ritual meant to bring him more power and control.– Keith is stalking and assault Jack’s accusers.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that it is Keith stalking and assaulting Jack’s accusers.• B. How did it get covered up?
Keith is wearing a mask and he has been friendly in the past with the people he is stalking, making him an unlikely suspect to them.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Who is stalking the Hogans?
Intrigue – Once it is revealed that it’s Keith, why would he hurt his friend?
Suspense – The Hogan boy is being hunted by Keith. Keith follows him and when he can, he hurts him.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that since Keith is willing to hurt his friend Dan Hogan, could it be him that is committing the murders?– Keith is being stalked by someone else.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that Keith is being stalked and watched, while he is actively stalking and watching the Hogans.• B. How did it get covered up?
It never occurred to Keith that he would be followed while he was out doing his dirty work for Jack.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Who is following Keith? and Why?
Intrigue – Is this part of Jack’s plan? How many people does he have under his control?
Suspense – Is this person going to hurt Keith after he is done hurting Dan Hogan?• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that Keith is being used by Jack to do his dirty work and that there are other people who are under Jack’s control who are dangerous to Keith.– There are murders taking place. It could be Beau, Gabe, Keith, or Jack. It could be one of them or none of them.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that there are more murders happening, this time closer to Black Maple.• B. How did it get covered up?
No one knows who is committing the murders. Many suspect Keith or Beau. Keith because he’s acting crazy. Beau because he’s living in the country growing drugs and the murders took place near his land.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Who is doing these murders? The town must find out to put a stop to them.
Intrigue – Why are these murders happening? They appear to be random? Is it Keith? Is it Beau?
Suspense – We see the murders happening quickly, but we don’t see who is doing them – it could be Keith, Beau, Gabe or someone else entirely.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that more murders are happening around Black Maple, leading to people being on edge and scared.– Beau is killed, leaving Heather heartbroken.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that Beau has been killed by members of The Program.• B. How did it get covered up?
It appears that Beau was killed in a robbery or drug deal gone bad.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Who killed Beau? and Why?
Intrigue – How does Beau’s murder fit into Jack’s plan?
Suspense – Beau’s murder is suspenseful because he knows the killers are coming from Jack and he tells them they don’t have to do this. But they do it anyway. His murder leaves Heather heartbroken and even more mad at Keith because she believes he could be responsible.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that we like Beau – he is a free spirit and he clearly loves Heather and is trying to help Keith. His murder comes as a shock.– Laura is not only sleeping with Keith, but with Gabe. She reveals she has also slept with Jack and the Judge as well.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that not only is Laura not in love with Keith but that she is also sleeping with Gabe and she has slept with both Jack and The Judge before as well.• B. How did it get covered up?
Laura is a prominent teacher in the town. Her association with Jack and The Judge has made her untouchable.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why is Laura sleeping with Gabe and Keith? Why did she sleep with Beau, Jack and The Judge?
Intrigue – How is Laura sleeping with all these people a part of Jack and The Judge’s master plan? What does she get out of it?
Suspense – The sex scenes are suspenseful. Laura’s turn on Keith is suspenseful as well. She hates him for falling for Jack’s trap so easily. Just like she did. There is a lot of self loathing in her condemnation of Keith.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is when Keith starts telling Laura how much he likes her and how girl’s his own age aren’t right for him she snaps and tells him she doesn’t love him and that she’s just doing this with him and Gabe and the other boys for Jack and The Judge. That her best advice to him is to get far, far away from all of them.– It is revealed that the Angel of Fire plan from the Book of Azariah is for a man to go into the fire and to be re-born and transformed by it. If performed correctly, the devil will transform the man in the fire into the Angel of Fire, able to channel the devil’s powers on earth.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is what the true plan for the Angel of Fire ceremony from the Book of Azariah is really all about. About a man channeling the powers of the devil here on earth.• B. How did it get covered up?
No one knows about it except for Beau and the Deacon and they’re too scared to talk. Everyone else thinks Jack and The Judge are A#1 Duke of New York.Jack and The Judge’s plan for the Angel of Fire ceremony using the Book of Azariah was covered up by the fact that they were telling everyone in town they were mentoring the boys on how to be future pillars of the community. Every one in Black Maple knows Jack and The Judge have all of the money and power, so to be brought into such a group is an honor. No one dares question them.
• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Heather finds info about the Book of Azariah in Keith’s journal but she thinks he has lost his mind. The Sheriff is still trying to solve the murders of Beau and the others.
Intrigue – Keith wants to know if Jack’s plan will actually work. He’s too scared to cross him so he submits to the plan.
Suspense – When Jack reveals the plan to Keith and Gabe and tells them they can have anything in the world they want, his eyes flicker flames while they are consumed by their own lust for power.Mystery – Why are the Judge and Jack so intent on going through with this satanic plan?
Intrigue – What do they hope to gain by fulfilling this plan and channeling the devil?
Suspense – Jack insinuates to Keith and Gabe that if they don’t participate in helping him and his father they or their families will be killed.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that Jack’s plan sounds insane, but him and The Judge have orchestrated enough murders at this point to where Keith and Gabe know they are actually going to go through with it.
– It is revealed that Jack and the Judge are working with The Company running insane amounts of guns, drugs and money.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that Jack and The Judge are working with The Company to import and export billions of dollars worth of guns, drugs and money in and out of Black Maple.• B. How did it get covered up?
The Company is the largest, oldest and most effective intelligence agency in the world. If they don’t want people to know something, they’re not going to know. They fly the planes in in the middle of the night. They cut their engines and their lights a mile out so no one hears them land. They have secret underground bunkers and warehouse deep in the caves of Arkansas. It is a very well oiled plan. The people of Black Maple trust that the Judge would do something if there was anything untoward happening in the town.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why is The Company using Black Maple to run so many guns, drugs, money? Why are they doing this?
Intrigue – How are Jack and The Judge tied up in The Company’s secret operation? Does The Company know about their plan with the Book of Azariah? Are they involved? Is this part of it?
Suspense – When Keith and Gabe are sneaking around to get a look at what Jack, The Judge, and The Company are all doing it is suspenseful that they will be caught and in a lot of danger. This plan is worth billions of dollars – what’s two more dead kids?• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that the size and scope of The Company’s operation is much larger and much more valuable than anyone in Black Maple could have possibly guessed. It is shocking to Keith and Gabe and makes them fear and respect Jack and The Judge even more.– It is revealed that Keith has chosen Jack over his family when he gives Jack a sex tape Beau and Heather made – humiliating her.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that Jack asks Keith to betray Heather, and Keith does, choosing Jack over his family.• B. How did it get covered up?
No one knows how the tape got out, but Heather and Keith’s parents are fairly certain it was him. They just don’t know why he would do something like this to them.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why did Keith choose Jack over Heather and his family?
Intrigue – How does Jack humiliating Heather fall into his plan?
Suspense – Will Heather or (more likely) Keith’s father retaliate against what they believe is Keith’s transgression?• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that Keith has been won over completely by Jack away from Heather and his parents. Keith is now fully where Jack wants him.– It is revealed that the Judge is unhappy with his arrangement with The Company. Sure he gets to lord over the town, but he reveals that he hates the feeling of being a pawn in their game.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that The Judge has been working with The Company since Vietnam and that he is sick of being their pawn. They’re making record profits in his back yard and he’s just getting a tiny slice. Not even enough to wet the beak.
• B. How did it get covered up?
Everyone in town thinks that The Judge is a venerated veteran, but they don’t know his secret history of working for The Company and the horrific things he’s done with them.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why does The Judge work with The Company? Why doesn’t he want anyone to know? Why is he so unhappy with their arrangement?
Intrigue – How does working with The Company fit into The Judge and Jack’s plan for the Angel of Fire plan? Does The Company know about it? Are they helping?
Suspense – What is The Judge capable of when he is angry? Will The Judge turn on The Company? Is that even possible? Is the Company behind the murders?• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that The Judge has been working with The Company for 50 years – since Vietnam and that beyond that, he is incredibly unhappy with how things are going with his relationship with The Company.– It is revealed that The Judge uses his inside knowledge of the prestigious members of the town to blackmail them and get his son to be let go.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that The Judge uses his inside dirt on the prestigious members of Black Maple and his relationship with The Company, to blackmail anyone who gets in his way and to get himself and his son out of any trouble along the way.• B. How did it get covered up?
The Judge has a pristine reputation in town. It’s kind of a chicken and the egg scenario – He’s been squeaky clean for so long because he’s always had the upper hand on anyone who would oppose him. He’s been squeaky clean for so long no one would suspect him of anything.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why is the Judge able to manipulate and blackmail men in Black Maple so easily?
Intrigue – How does The Judge’s control of the levers of power in town fit into his master plan? What is his master plan?
Suspense – How far will he go to threaten or run someone? Blackmail? Murder? How long has he been planning this? (a long, long time)• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that The Judge is playing 4D chess with the people of Black Maple while even the most prestigious members of the town are only thinking of short term gain and carnal pleasures. The Judge is so far past them in terms of his thinking and those in the know know he has the backing of The Company, it isn’t even a fair fight.– It is revealed that The Sheriff is killed. Keith finds his body and all of The Sheriff’s research into Jack, the Judge and The Company. Keith is the prime suspect after being seen by a deputy at the scene of the murder and after others witnessed him getting into a fight with the Sheriff.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that The Sheriff has been killed.• B. How did it get covered up?
No one knows who killed The Sheriff. The town thinks it is Keith because they got into a fight with the Sheriff and when Keith went back to apologize he found The Sheriff dead, along with his bulletin board of theories about The Judge, Jack, Keith, Gabe, etc. Keith was scene at the murder scene and fled.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is..
Mystery – Who killed The Sheriff? Why?
Intrigue – How does the Sheriff’s murder tie into Jack and The Judge’s plan? Or is it something else altogether?
Suspense – The hunt is on for Keith, who is now a wanted man for the murder of the town’s beloved Sheriff.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that The Sheriff was on to Jack and The Judge and he was killed. With both Beau and The Sheriff killed there may be no one left to stop Jack and The Judge from enacting their plan.– It is revealed that Keith seeks help from Heather and Barbara but they are so mad at him and scared of him that they turn him in instead of helping him.
• A. What is the reveal?
Heather and Barbara are so mad at Keith for leaking the tape and thinking he killed Beau, The Sheriff and who knows who else that they think he’s lost his mind when he tells them about Jack and they call the police to come and get him.• B. How did it get covered up?
Barbara and Heather don’t tell Keith that they’re calling the police, one of them just does it through text while they’re sitting there talking.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Will Heather and Barbara believe Keith or will they turn him in?
Intrigue – How does Keith’s family flipping on him tie into Jack’s plan?
Suspense – Will the cops get Keith? Will he lash out at his mom and sister?• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that Barbara tries to hide the fact that she doesn’t believe her son and she secretly texts 911. Keith realizes what is going on, gets extremely angry but then runs out.– It is revealed that Keith has fallen fully into Jack and The Judge’s plan, exactly as he wanted.
• A. What is the reveal?
Keith runs back to Jack, exactly as Jack wanted.• B. How did it get covered up?
Jack hid Keith and then called his father to let him know that he had him.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why does Jack want everyone to think Keith murdered everyone, and for Jack to have custody of him?
Intrigue – How does everyone thinking Keith is the murderer tie into Jack’s plan?
Suspense – What will Jack do with Keith now that he has full control and power over his life?• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that Keith has lost the game to Jack and The Judge and he doesn’t even realize it yet.– It is revealed that it is the Judge who puts out the arrest warrant for Keith, cementing his fate.
• A. What is the reveal?
The Judge puts out the arrest warrant for Keith, cementing his fate in the eyes of the town.• B. How did it get covered up?
Keith is unaware that Jack has told The Judge where Keith is and that The Judge has put out the arrest warrant for him. The Judge told the dispatch that Keith was last scene going west out of Black Maple, so all of Black Maple’s remaining law officers will be drawn out of town for the night.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why are Jack and the Judge so gung ho to get Keith arrested?
Intrigue – Is luring the police out of Black Maple a part of their plan?
Suspense – The police are on the hunt for Keith out in the woods to the west of town. Jack has other plans for Keith, unbeknownst to him.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that while they are the only ones left who he trusts, The Judge and Jack are using Keith as a pawn in their twisted game.– It is revealed that even when Barbara tries to do the right thing and tell someone about what Keith has told her, in a chilling scene, the Deacon tells her there’s nothing to be done now and to “just pray about it”
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that Barbara tries to do the right thing and get help, but even then she is thwarted by Jack and his family.• B. How did it get covered up?
The Deacon is working for Jack and The Judge. He is not going to help Barbara.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why won’t the Deacon help Barbara? Is there really no one in Black Maple that will help her?
Intrigue – Is the Deacon a full toadie of Jack and The Judge’s? And if so, how much does he really know?
Suspense – The bottom falls out for Barbara. She has no where to turn and the police are looking for her son. This is her worst nightmare.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that Jack and The Judge’s conspiracy reaches far beyond that which Barbara previously realized. The Deacon tells her in a fit of overconfidence “the gears were turning long before your family came here and they will continue to turn long after you are gone.”
– It is revealed that Joe, Barbara, and Heather are all rounded up like livestock being taken to the slaughter by Gabe.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that Joe, Barbara, and Heather are tricked into confinement by Gabe who has locked him in his truck and then pulled the truck with a tow truck into the barn for the Ritual.• B. How did it get covered up?
Heather trusted Gabe. Gabe told her he knew who killed the boys, Beau and The Sheriff and that it wasn’t Keith, but that didn’t matter now, they had to find Keith before the cops killed him.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why are Keith’s family being taken? Why is it Wade taking them?
Intrigue – How does this fit into Jack’s plan. Is Gabe responsible for the murders?
Suspense – Gabe tricks Keith’s family into being trapped in the truck. They have to get out, but they can’t. The doors are locked and It’s bulletproof glass. Joe shoots his gun and it hits Heather in the shoulder.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that Keith’s family has been tricked by Gabe. They are trapped and they don’t know where they’re going. The cabin of the truck fills up with gas that knocks them out.– It is revealed that Jack convinces Keith to kill his father.
• A. What is the reveal?
At the ritual Jack gives Keith more mushroom tea and puts him in a pit with his father. When his father comes to he is furious and attacks Keith. After Joe beats Keith around a little bit, Jack throws Keith a gun. He tells him it will be self defense and to do it and end it once and for all. At Jack’s instruction, Keith pulls the trigger, killing his father.• B. How did it get covered up?
We had no idea Keith would kill his father, let alone in front of his family. But Jack’s power over him was enough to do it. The cover up is that although Keith was widely accused of the murders, we’ve never seen Keith kill anyone.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Is Keith really messed up enough to kill his father? Is Keith the murderer everyone has been saying he is?
Intrigue – Why does Jack want Keith to kill his father? What is it to him? How does this fit into his plan?
Suspense – Joe is beating Keith up. Keith is taking a licking. He’s hallucinating and being whacked around by someone who knows how to handle him. Jack calls to Keith in his fog and gives him a gun and tells him to end it once and for all. The moment when Keith has to decide between his father and Jack is palpable and then he pulls the trigger. BANG! Joe is shot.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal for this scene is when Ketih actually kills his father. Now we know he’s a murderer, but is he THE murderer.– It is revealed that Keith can’t kill his mom, sister or Heather and Gabe does it instead. Using a gun on Barbara and Laura and when the gun jams, in a very dramatic moment, Gabe slits Heather’s throat saying “I guess you’re not going to have such a perfect life after all huh?”
• A. What is the reveal?
Gabe kills Barbara and Heather in cold blood. One with a gun and the other a knife.• B. How did it get covered up?
No one expected Gabe to be capable of murder, much less murdering Heather, a girl he’s known his whole life.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why does Jack want Keith’s family dead?
Intrigue – Is Gabe really capable of murder?
Suspense – Gabe doesn’t waste any time after Keith kills Joe. After Jack orders Keith to kill Barbara and Heather and he can’t do it, Gabe takes the gun and shoots and kills Barbara quickly. Then it is just Heather, Gabe, and Keith. Gabe kills Heather.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact is that Joe Barbara and Heather have all been killed unexpectedly.– It is revealed that Jack’s plan to transform into the Angel of Fire has actually worked, against all odds.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that Jack’s plan to transform into the Angel of Fire actually works and he ascends, against all odds.• B. How did it get covered up?
Except for Gabe and Keith, and obviously Jack and The Judge, no one knows about the Angel of Fire full plan. Jack and The Judge ran the Angel of Fire plan like a Company op. The less people knew, the better – and it worked.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – How has Jack’s plan actually worked? What does this mean?
Intrigue – Is this really happening? How is this real?
Suspense – Laura is killed when Jack lights himself on fire. She lights on fire but is burned horrifficly while Jack ascends.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that Jack and Laura are lit on fire and that Jack ascends, painless and Laura burns to death horribly.– It is revealed that The Judge orchestrates Gabe going to the insane asylum and Keith going to prison.
• A. What is the reveal?
The revealed that The Judge has orchestrated Gabe’s being sent to the insane asylum and Keith going to prison.• B. How did it get covered up?
The Judge has the necessary contacts under his thumb in order to allow for something like this to happen. This is what I was saying earlier about the Judge playing 4D chess and controlling all the pieces on the board – this is what he does.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
Mystery – Why did The Judge sentence Gabe and Keith to life sentences behind bars? Was this the plan all along?
Intrigue – How did The Judge and Jack actually pull this off?
Suspense – The parts of Gabe being taken to the insane asylum and Keith being taken to the prison and highly tense and played very emotion.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that Gabe and Keith are both legally locked away, nice and tidy in the Arkansas penal system and mental health system. There is no getting out.– It is revealed that Jack double crosses The Judge and The Company. In a striking scene, Jack tells The Judge he’s done with him and The Company and if he ever comes for him, he’ll burn him alive for everything he did to him and his sister.
• A. What is the reveal?
The reveal is that Jack goes against his father and threatens him deeply.• B. How did it get covered up?
Jack has seemed very loyal to The Judge and done everything he asked. It was assumed they would rule together.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why did Jack turn on The Judge? What is he really going to do with him?
Intrigue – Was this Jack’s plan all along – did he play everyone perfectly?
Suspense – When Jack is threatening the Judge he is burning him and reminding him of the wrongs he’s done and why he’s doing this. That if he ever talks, he’s toast.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is Jack beat his father and The Company. And the town of Black Maple, Arkansas for that matter.– It is revealed that Jack double crosses Keith, leaving him in prison for the rest of his life and he double crosses Gabe, convincing him to kill himself.
• A. What is the reveal?
Jack goes and talks to Keith and Gabe one last time. And thanks them for their service. You did good.• B. How did it get covered up?
Jack was always thought to be these boys mentors and to have their best interests at heart, or at worst, using them for his own ends. It was never on the table that he would so fully end Keith and Gabe’s lives. But he does, in chilling fashion.• C. What M.I.S. can be used to create demand to know the truth?
The M.I.S. that can be used to create demand to know the truth is…
Mystery – Why is Jack leaving Keith and Gabe to rot in institutions from which they can not escape.
Intrigue – Was this Jack’s plan all along? It works out awfullly well for him that Keith took the fall for all the murders and Gabe is labelled a schizophrenic so nothing he says can be used in court.
Suspense – Both Keith and Gabe are relieved to see Jack. They think he is going to save them. Both of them realize while he is talking that they are fucked. They are locked up for the rest of their lives. Thanks and bye bye.• D. When you reveal the truth, it must have a dramatic impact. What is the dramatic impact of the reveal?
The dramatic impact of the reveal is that Jack has fully won. Everyone who had anything to say against him is dead and Gabe and Keith have taken the fall for that, so everything is squared away. He achieved the devil’s powers on earth with out alerting anyone but his own father. Jack is now free to roam the earth and do evil.4. Build any improvements into your thriller map.
Check.5. Tell us about the Reveals you built into your Thriller Map.
This assignment helped me to write many additional reveals into the story, as well as helping to flesh out and define the ones I already had. I added many reveals where something happens unexpectedly or someone acts unexpectedly. I tried to add them in a way that each one built to the next and the tension and drama increased along each ensuing reveal. -
Ann-Marie’s reveals:
What I Iearned:
Reveals are a great way to surprise the audience while also giving key information about character and/or plot. Something under the surface is discovered, perhaps a deep part of character is revealed, or an underlying mystery or intrigue has been discovered in an interesting and dramatic way, creating a very satisfying emotional response in the audience. Reveals are only effective if they are delivered in a dramatic way. The way to create great reveals is to start by covering them up, then create a demand through MIS whereby each reveal is discovered in a way that has maximum impact.
As I began this exercise, I initially thought I had only a few reveals but as I worked through it, I realised that i have more than I initially thought. This assignment really made me think about story and as I was doing it, I also discovered one character had a secret I didn’t realise she had. I also discovered certain scenes which are important for reveals, were not in the initial map, so this assignment gave me more story development as I thought about the impact of my reveals. I also learned that I can and should pace my reveals and scenes to deliver a bigger impact – for example, breaking down what I thought was one reveal, into 2 separate reveals, paced the story better and with higher impact.
I would like to work more on these reveals, rather than post what I have at present, as I find the assignment very rewarding but need more time to consider how best to present the reveals – As I have 2 major reveals, I dont want to list them haphazardly as a list, so I will take more time with the next few assignments as I spend more time now on story development, using reveals, clue trails and misdirection. Hope this is ok!
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