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Lesson 7
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Benita Lesson 7 – BEATS. I found working out the scenes really useful. Not sure if I was that speedy!
ACT 1
INT. FLAT HALL-WAY – DAY
Opening: TRACY’s mother, fixing her hair to go out, berates a scruffy Tracy (22) about not earning money to help with household expenses. She leaves. Tracy leaves soon after.
EXT. MARKET – DAY
Tracy walks through the market, disgruntled.
PLACE HOLDER FLASHBACK: Three scenes with Tracy at various boring jobs, where she either leaves or is sacked.
EXT. MARKET – DAY
Vegetable stall holder assistant, JIM (24) oodles Tracy as she passes. She does not notice him. Tracy passes a row of small shops. Halts at locksmith’s shop. In the window: APPRENTICE WANTED. A long pause, and then Tracy enters the shop INCITING INCIDENT.
INT. SHOP – DAY
MARTY (65) greets Tracy. They talk about the vacancy and Marty suggests going for a coffee.
EXT. MARKET – DAY
Popular Marty is greeted by stallholders, and Jim watches Tracy as they go by.
INT. CAFÉ – DAY
Marty explains the job requirements. Tracy signs a contract.
INT. SHOP – DAY
Tracy learns on the job. She proves competent. But begins to suspect Marty has other interests.
EXT. MARKET – DAY
Tracy phones her mother on her mobile. A happier conversation. Tracy acknowledges Jim with a half-smile.
INT. PUB – NIGHT
Marty overhears two men talking about GEORGE GODWIN, a wealthy criminal who is going on holiday.
INT. MARTY’S HOUSE – NIGHT.
Marty drops a hint to his wife MARY (58), that he is going out on a ‘little expedition,’
PLACEHOLDER : Marty leaves his vintage car. He robs Godwin’s mansion. Has encounter with Godwin. Gunshot.
ACT 11
EXT. AVENUE – DAY
POLICE interview a neighbour who heard the shot. A milkman has seen Marty’s vintage car.
INT. MARTY’S HOUSE – DAY
Marty is arrested. Mary is questioned.
INT. SHOP – DAY
Tracy is interviewed.
INT. POLICE STATION – DAY
While being interviewed Marty has a heart attack.
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Mary and Tracy visit Marty. Marty confesses everything. When they leave, Mart writes two notes to Tracy to be read when he ‘is no longer there.’ Marty gives one to nurse SARAH (30)
INT. CORRIDOR -DAY
CONSTABLE STRONG (50) fed up, is on guard outside Marty’s private room. He is gambling on his mobile phone. He loses heavily (again).
INT. SHOP – DAY
Constable Strong is convinced Marty is hiding stolen money. He gets tough with Tracy but stops when Jim enters the shop.
ACT 111 MIDPOINT Marty dies in the hospital.
INT. MARTY’S HOUSE. – DAY
Mary wants Tracy to take over the shop as manager and gives her the key to Marty’s lockup. They discuss arrangements for Mary’s funeral.
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
The police decide to drop Marty’s case. Constable Strong finds Marty’s second note to Tracy and keeps it.
INT. CAFÉ – DAY
Tracy has a proposal for STEVE, Marty’s locksmith’s friend. They make an agreement whereby she can continue her apprenticeship.
INT. SHOP – DAY
Constable strong arrives at the shop. He threatens Tracy and attempts to search Marty’s office. Jim saves her again and Tracy confides in him. She tells him about Marty.
INT. MARKET – DAY
Constable Strong is booed through the market by stallholders.
INT. MARTY’S LOCKUP – DAY
Tracy and Jim investigate. They find Marty’s vintage car and a deep (mechanics) pit. They decided to return the following day.
INT. MARTY’S LOCKUP – FOLLOWING DAY
Constable Strong lets himself in to investigate. He is interrupted by Tracy and Jim. Following a confrontation with Jim, Strong falls (fatally) into the pit. They call the police.
INT. HOSPITAL -DAY
Sarah, returning from holiday finds Marty’s note to Tracy still in her uniform pocket.
INT. SHOP – DAY
Sarah gives the note to Tracy.
PLACEHOLDER. Tracy phones Mary.
ACT 1V
INT. MARTY’S HOUSE – DAY
Mary invites Tracy and Marty to lunch.
INT. FLAT – DAY
Jim meets Diedre. She goes out and Jim helps Tracy find the owner of the jewels on his laptop.
INT. MARTY’S HOUSE -DAY
Tracy and Jim tell Mary the owner, FIONA MACDONALD lives in Scotland. Mary surprises Tracy by being Marty’s accomplice all along. She arranges an appointment with Fiona in Scotland.
EXT. STATION – DAY
Trace, Jim and Mary (in disguise) bord train for Scotland.
INT. HIRE CAR – DAY
Mary leaves car at drive entrance to manor. Trace and Jim worry about her long absence. They kiss.
INT. MANOR HOUSE – DAY
Fiona gratefully accepts jewels. She tells Mary she had spoken to the police. After worry Mary learns it wasn’t to betray her, and she has made up another story about the jewels being returned on her doorstep.
INT. MARTY’S HOUSE – DAY
Mary gives Tracy the money. Marty would have wanted her to have it.
INT. TRACY AND JIM’S FLAT – DAY (TWO MONTH’S LATER)
Tracy is teaching Jim how to mend a safe. They discuss Tracy’s last meeting with Mary. Mary had hinted that Tracy might like to take on some other of Marty’s interests. Tracy tells Jim, she will ‘think about it.’
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Learned – Not sure I did it right but I am moving forward and learning to live with that -story keeps morphing anyway.
PAM’s High Speed Beat Sheet
INT. MOTHER’S BEDROOM – DAY
Frazzled Natalie is so concerned over her mother’s monitors
and doctor’s calls that she misses out on time with her
dying mother.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
Natalie isn’t focused on the person in front of her, her
husband. He tries to be supportive but she in inconsolable
and tells him to get out. He packs and she goes back to
fretting.
INT. MOTHER’S BEDROOM – DAY
Mother has Natalie’s attention. Gives Nat her necklace and
says it will open doors for her and she will need to unlock
many secrets in life. Mother dies. Natalie feels a weird
electricity as her mother passes.
INT. HOUSE – DAY
Natalie cleans up what had been her mother’s bedroom and
realizes that she is well and truly alone. She feels a hot
flash that she comments is early menopause as something
disintegrates at her touch but she thinks it is just because
the thing was old.
INT. LAWYER’S CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
A few people are gathered for the reading of Natalie’s
mother’s will. Her husband slips in at the last minute.
Standard bequeaths and a letter to each Natalie and her
husband. Natalie has words with husband that cause her
another hot flash that causes a gust of wind to knock things
over. She regrets arguing as soon as he leaves but does not
pursue him and consoles herself that this is her new
freedom.
INT. LAWYER’S CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Natalie reads her letter and agrees to undertake the quest
for her ancestral birthright. The attorney office hands her
an additional packet of information which again causes an
electric response in her.
EXT. AIRPORT – DAY
Natalie arrives and meets a taxi driver who takes her to her
hotel. He notices her necklacer and suggests that she visit
a particular restaurant in the market square and have her
fortune told. She sees a man being cruel to a local and
another man (she can’t see his face but this is who will
later be her guide – Antag.) She and her necklace flash in
anger.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Natalie meets the fortune teller who discusses the water,
earth, fire are elements of powers of the people of the
land. Fortune teller does a little hocus pocus and reveals
nothing as Natalie’s power. Natalie is deflated. The fortune
teller is shooed away by Natalie’s husband causing hot flash
with confusion, concern and an argument about who left who.
The candle on the table flares and a waitress trips spilling
water in the table and putting out the flame. Hot flash gone
and natural explaination for supernatural?
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
Natalie meets her local guide (antag) who is going to help
her navigate the bureaucratic process for declaring
ancestral ties to become citizen.
INT. CITY ADMINISTRATION – DAY
Antag is clearly paying people off and Natalie thinks that
this is part of the service but Antag is really setting her
up. She agrees to see the countryside and come back to the
paperwork hell tomorrow. While departing city hall her
husband joins them over Antag’s objections. Antag had a
different experience planned for her to eliminate her before
she made any inroads in her claims.
EXT. COUNTRYSIDE – DAY
Antag gives local legend and points out a place they should
stop and admire. While Natalie and husband bicker at a
remote ruin, Antag desserts them. Rather than being upset,
Natalie wants to explore and finds a fragrance drawing her
that her husband cannot smell. They fall into an old, dry
well. What to do but argue? Antag’s goons cannot find them
despite their yells.
INT. DRY WELL – NIGHT
Having reached some peace, Natalie and her husband sleep and
a warm dime light envelops them.
EXT. DRY WELL – DAY
A shaft of morning light shows a kind of lock. Natalie uses
her necklace retrieve an artifact. Using the atifact
suddenly the well starts to fill with water and they are
floated to up to the ground. Natalie suspects this might be
more than menopause. Her husband tests her powers.
EXT. COUNTRYSIDE – DAY
Now wet and hungry they head for a nearby farm. The farmer
doesn’t speak English but forces them into hiding when he
sees goon approaching. The goons start to beat the farmer so
Natalie runs out to protect them but her husband pushes her
back and he goes out. He is caught and dragged away.
INT. ANTAG’S CASTLE – DAY
Antag provides limited amount of new information about
Natalie’s threat to his organization/ancestral power.
Husband is attached to an ancient torture device. Natalie is
carted back to the city by the farmer.
INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
Natalie finds the fortune teller and shows her the relic she
found. The fortune teller shows her how to claim her
birthright. She says she just wants to save her husband.
Reluctantly, advising the this could end her claims and
increase problems for the villagers, the fortune teller
connects Natalie to people who will take her to the castle.
EXT./INT. ANTAG’S CASTLE – DAY
Natalie floats up to the window that looks in on the torture
chamber and sees her husband’s peril. Dissolving the
artifact she is able to walk through the wall to her husband
and free him. Antag appears and they battle. Natalie learns
that he has powers but her power is wind that is able to
defeat his fire. In trying to outwit and out-power her,
Antag ends up turning himself into ashes.
INT. ANTAG’S CASTLE – DAY
Natalie’s husband guides her into the main castle where they
uncover the truth of her birthright. She creates a vow that
sets the people free which makes her necklace dissolve.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
Natalie and her husband take a look at the village which
seems much the same but they see glimmers of change. Any
regrets? Not a one! They leave the village to it’s own
happily ever after and they make for home and whatever.
Husband regrets that her powers are gone. She demonstrates
that she’s still got them.
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Doug – What I learned by doing this assignment is – well – this is (eventually – or maybe even very soon) going become a really fun script!
FADE IN
INT. HARLEM MANSION – MIDNIGHT
ALICE – elderly lady – is at the top of a dark, spooky staircase in an 1870’s mansion. She REACTS, scared, as she hears something – “something happens” – and then she tumbles down the stairs, lying motionless at the bottom.
INT/EXT JET PASSENGER PLANE – SUNRISE
NICK, late twenties, scruffy but handsome, looks out the window as the plane banks and prepares to land. Inspiring Manhattan skyline. Nick smiles.
INT. JFK BAGGAGE CLAIM & CUSTOMS AREA – DAY
Nick arrives, claiming his small beat-up duffle bag. Jostled and then insulted by a rich-looking imperious “foreigner” – Nick pretends he’s not bothered, but then, using his “street skills”, a moment later “accidently” bumps into the man again, and in the ensuing tumult, relieves the guy of his wallet and passport, with the ruffled and irate foreigner completely unaware.
Nick turns away – grins, as he removes a goodly number of $100 bills from the wallet – and then, preparing to toss the wallet and passport in the trash, thinks better of it and signals to an airport employee, letting him know that “someone must have dropped this” – and hands them over. At the same time, noticing that the still flustered foreigner is now expostulating to a well-groomed and very striking young lady (SHANIA), who is trying to settle him down, as she shepherds him and his baggage through customs. Nick grins to himself and gives her a wink – just as the man’s name is broadcast over the P.A. and both the man and the young lady REACT with relief!
Nick turns to go to a baggage inspection line on the other side of the room, noticing the imposing “Mastery of the Craft” real estate promotional poster dominating the area. (A real thing – I might change it to an imaginary version by the time I get to the script)
EXT. AIRPORT EXIT AREA – DAY
A homeless guy/gal, with a shopping cart and a happy-looking, gigantic tom cat on a leash perched on top of their stuff, is being moved along by security. Nick considers, then gives the person a $100 bill. The homeless person looks and exclaims happily and Nick double-checks his wallet, then laughs to himself. He thought it was a $1! Welcome to the Big Apple! Oh well, more where that came from… and some of it’s now in his wallet, as well!
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. – NY REAL ESTATE ACADEMY – DAY
Nick is in a real estate licensing class getting – you’ve guessed it – his NY real estate license!
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. FRIEND’S BROOKLYN APARTMENT – NIGHT
Nick is crashing on his friend’s couch. The friend’s girlfriend is unhappy that he is still there. Argument. Nick assures her he’s just about ready to graduate, and then he’ll be long gone.
INT. REAL ESTATE ACADEMY – DAY
And he does graduate! A variety of real estate brokerage firms are there to recruit promising new agents. As Nick signs up with one, he notices that the same young lady from the airport, Shania, is surveying the various recruits – they lock eyes for a moment – and then the crowd of departing students bears him along towards the exit. A moment later, Shania walks over and talks to the recruiter with whom Nick has just signed.
INT. FRIEND’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Big argument between Nick’s friend and his girlfriend – What is his low-life friend still doing here?!!! (there will be some backstory given as to how they know each other) Nick, meanwhile, is stuffing things into his duffle bag – and rushes out the door! Thanks for everything! And when you’re ready to buy your Tribeca penthouse, give me a call! He and the friend exchange grins – and he’s out the door.
INT. SUBWAY – LATE NIGHT
Sleeping on the deserted subway.
EXT. APARTMENT HOUSE – DAY
Nick enters the building – he’s got the keys – escorting potential rental clients inside. This is his first “listing” as a new agent.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
Nick is showing the apartment – to several clients, series of scenes. Then, as evening falls he gets take-out delivered to the door (buzzing them into the lobby and then upstairs) – as he takes his duffle bag out of a closet and attempts to make a comfortable place for himself on the floor. IE. – this is where he plans to spend the night!
Before he settles in, he makes a call – talking to the main person at the foster care/orphanage he had “graduated from”, not all that long ago. We learn of his fondness for the person and the place – something of why he had been in Mexico before coming to NYC (to deliver his best friend’s ashes to his parents) – and how he is in process of “making it big in NYC” – so he’ll be able to bail his old home out of the dire financial straits it’s in and save the day – so stay strong, help is on the way! And then he hangs up and attempts to make himself comfortable, sleeping on the floor of the empty apartment he’s trying to rent for his new company, his first assignment.
A few hours later, when it’s dark – Nick is awakened by the buzzing of the apartment’s intercom. He stumbles over and answers it without thinking – to hear a brusque voice thanking him for confirming that there is an unauthorized person in the apartment – they’re on their way up! Oh shit! Nick scrambles to get his stuff together, possibly looks out the window – sees a security guy below, looking up at him – dashes out the front door…
INT. BUILDING HALLWAY – NIGHT
Just as the elevator DINGS its arrival on his floor. He runs to the staircase – goes up to the roof – through the door armed with a buzzer, which blares a warning as he burst through…
EXT. APARTMENT HOUSE ROOF – NIGHT
To see Shania off to one side – putting her phone back into her coat pocket. She casually waves “hi” – asks him if he’s been sleeping well?
Nick asks if he knows her – and then realizes where he’s seen her before. You? She smiles and nods to the door to the roof which suddenly slams open again and two burly security guards come rushing through! “If they catch you, it’s your license. Sweet dreams!”
Nick looks around – sees that the next building (on the side) is not that far away and a little lower down. He tosses his duffle bag across the gap to the other roof – braces himself (as Shania watches him appraisingly, mentioning that a good horizontal leap is an important quality for an aspiring real estate agent) – as he gives her an incredulous look – runs, hits the low wall bordering the edge of the roof at top speed – and leaps….
… just making it across to the next building! He stumbles, grabs his duffle bag, and runs to the far side, where there’s a fire escape leading down.
The guards ask Shania if she’s okay? Shania nods, thanks them for their quick response…
EXT. ALLEY AT SIDE OF SECOND BUILDING – NIGHT
…as Nick drops off the fire escape – sees a large, open dumpster, tosses his duffle inside and follows it in, pulling the lid closed over him…
Just as one or more of the guards trots by, still looking for him. And keeps going.
INT. DUMPSTER – NIGHT
The lid opens – framing Shania in the security light overhead. She tells him the guards are gone – it’s safe for him to go back to the apartment and finish out the night. But what if the same person reports him again? Nick asks.
She smiles and tells him… she already did that once, she won’t be needing to do it a second time, as she hands him a card and tells him to call her in the morning – his license will be transferred to this company, and they’ll find him a more comfortable place to stay by day’s end.
Hunh?
Before offering him a “better job”, she needed to see how he worked under pressure.
He gives her a look. “And…?”
She blows him a kiss, tells him to call her in the morning – but, even if he decides to stay put, to be sure to get out before 6am trash pickup…
…and lets the lid fall back on his head!
INT. POSH REAL ESTATE OFFICE – DAY
Nick, Shania, SCOTT (the President of the company) and JEROME, one of the lead brokers. Nick is signing papers – as (maybe) the same “Mastery of the Craft” poster Nick had been inspired by at the airport looks down on them all. Note: if that is the case – it will be a parody of the Brown Harris Stevens actual ad campaign – because I don’t want to imply that this new company is actually BHS!
Jerome will show him the ropes – and subtly adjusts Nick’s collar and straightens his tie – and will hopefully help him upgrade his wardrobe, as well.
EXT./INT. HARLEM MANSION – DAY
This is one of Jerome’s listings that Nick will be helping him with. He’s showing him around – amazing place – old, well-loved, and majestic… but clearly in need of a lot more care. Jerome tells him about the current owner’s family – including the great-grandfather – a legendary Harlem number’s king & neighborhood benefactor – and legends of a lost treasure hidden somewhere in the depths of the house. We learn that Jerome grew up in this neighborhood and has a great fondness for the house and its inhabitants. Especially the owner’s deceased grandmother, Alice, who was always really nice to him when he was a little kid on the block. The real estate company has already secured a potential buyer – but Jerome wants to bring additional competition into the picture to boost the price for the benefit of Carl, Alice’s grandson – who was also one of his childhood friends. Jerome seems a little nervous and Nick may ask him – why not just “take the money and run” – but Jerome wants to do his best for the home and the family. And, besides, if the buyer has to pay a little bit more, it will be worth it and good for Carl’s family! Anyway, it will be interesting to see how the first open house goes!
I’M NOT SURE IF THIS FIRST OPEN HOUSE IS “NOW” OR IF THERE ARE A FEW INTERIM SCENES BEFORE – WITH NICK GETTING SETTLED IN TO HIS NEW PLACE – TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY THESE GUYS ARE BEING SO NICE TO HIM – WHO IS SHANIA REALLY – ETC.
INT. HARLEM MANSION – OPEN HOUSE – DAY
With action yet to be formulated, as Nick is downstairs, perhaps greeting people and signing them in – while upstairs – where we can’t see what’s going on – Jerome is killed!
A hooded figure comes barreling down the stairs, knocks Nick over, slams past the other people and out the door and is gone. Nick rushes upstairs – Jerome, with his dying breath, tells Nick to check his laptop – password Edgecombe 409 (also his home address) – tell Bernie that Jerome said to let him in – and he dies.
The police are there – decide that it must have been a robbery, since Jerome’s expensive Rolex is missing. Nick doesn’t tell them about Jerome’s last words –
INT. 409 EDGECOMBE
But he does go to Jerome’s apartment house – tells the concierge (who doesn’t know about Jerome’s death yet) that Jerome told him to get something from his apartment for him – he’s tied up – gives him a real estate card from the company. Bernie looks at it – cool – 11-D. He gave you a key, right?
Nick realizes he’d better say “yes” – so he does – but when he gets up there and can’t undo the deadbolt, he has to go out the hallway window, edge around to one of the windows and find one that is slightly ajar – right near the fire escape – wedges it open, and lets himself in.
He finds the laptop, opens it, but, as he’s starting to look for “anything” – he hears someone unlocking the front door. Oh no – not again! He shuts the laptop and takes it and heads out the same window he came in, closes it, and this time, he goes down the fire escape. Crouched in the bushes around this side of the building – he sees someone exiting the building, empty-handed, and getting into a waiting car – then drives away. It’s Shania.
ACT 2
SERIES OF SCENES – OVER A PERIOD OF TIME
Nick does start to find information on the laptop, from emails and documents, about three main potential real estate transactions. Not telling anyone that he’s got the laptop or what he’s finding in its files.
Note: Nick is asked to take over Jerome’s listings – but told that there are deals in process, and not to rock the boat. He’ll be sharing the commissions with Jerome’s family – and it would be a pity if he screwed things up for Jerome’s heirs by doing anything to deep six those deals.
Back to the laptop – one set of files concerns the HDFC “Affordable Housing” apartment on the same block as the Mansion – which is heading into foreclosure, thanks to mismanagement by its ownership board.
Going there, Nick meets various of the owner/residents – learns that this is where Jerome’s family lived when he was a little kid (and some of them still do) – he was the pride of the building and his death was a horrible shock. Lots of other stuff going on… and it seems that Jerome was quite possibly working to “deep six” the deals which had been set up, on his own. To save the HDFC from a foreclosure sale (to his company’s clients), ditto the Church property, and ditto the Mansion. Nick is starting to get wind of a massive money-laundering scheme. Jerome clearly knew about it – but, from emails, notes, and documents on his computer, it seems clear that his loyalty to his own neighborhood was compelling him to try to steer an alternate course – which may well have been why he was killed. Leaving Nick in his place.
The Church property is spooky and decrepit, adjoining the Mansion – which anchors the block at one end – with the HDFC apartment house at the other.
After having spent time at the apartment house, Nick heads over to check out the Church. It seems deserted –services are now being held at a rental property a few blocks away – but Nick finds his way to go in and look around. Someone else is inside. Momentary startlement – then he realizes it’s Shania. Nick, wondering what is going on, starts to ask her about “all of this” (without revealing he has Jerome’s laptop – but she doesn’t seem to want to talk about it, distracting him with – whatever – and then suggests they grab a cup of coffee at a nearby garden/coffee shop.
INT./EXT. COFFEE SHOP – DAY
It’s clear that they’re fencing around with each other – each trying to find out what the other one is concealing – but it’s also clear they really like each other, regardless. And – over the course of all this – each is learning more about the other’s life/background/likes/dislikes – and even though both are sad about Jerome’s death (although Shania may know more than she says) – they are having a great time together, as they move the party to…
INT. LOCAL PUB – NIGHT
…a local pub. Now eating & drinking, with less fencing and more “free play”…
INT. BEDROOM – NEXT MORNING
… waking up next to each other in Shania’s bed! Both are initially shocked/surprised – and then both break out into laughter, remembering it all!
She’s gotta get it together and get on with her day – as does he – and she makes sure not to leave him in her apartment (if that’s where they are) before she locks them both out.
LATER
SHANIA ON THE PHONE
To her mom, ATHENA, who is in London. Paraphrasing the famous NASA catch-phrase, she tells her, “Houston, we have a problem!”
Her mom is the mastermind of their current real estate/money-laundering endeavor – the biggest of her career, with tens (and tens) of millions of dollars/pounds/rubles/pesos/yen on the line and some really serious people, with minimal senses of humor, watching them like hawks. (PS – it was their partners who had Jerome killed – not something either would have wished, but, once done, it’s done.)
Nick may be a promising recruit, but he may also be a loose cannon drawback, and they cannot let him mess this up! Shania is troubled and doesn’t know how handle things and…
AFTER A LONG DISSOLVE…
EXT. JFK AIRPORT
We find ourselves back at JFK, but in a private area. Athena is getting off her chartered jet – met by Shania and a limo on the tarmac (no customs) –
INT. POSH BOUTIQUE HOTEL
…and checks into her boutique hotel – greeted by the manager (I had the thought that something comes up where the hotel is in financial trouble – and she simply calls up her accountant and tells him to “buy it” – not sure if this actually makes sense, but idea is to establish that she is “the real deal”).
OTHER SCENES
Even though he has many questions and major doubts, Nick is really happy with Shania and delighted that her mom has come to visit! He knows she has something to do with the whole real estate endeavor (in actuality, she is the major financial backer of Scott’s company – hence Shania’s favored decision-making position within it)…
INT. HARLEM RESTAURANT – NIGHT
And – after he has a lovely dinner with Shania and Athena – at which everyone seems to have a great time and he heads for home, leaving Shania to stay with her mom – Athena agrees that he’s lovely – which is why it is too bad he has to die. If Jerome had stayed true to the course, none of this would have been necessary, but now Athena, reluctantly, now “sees the logic” of that earlier course of action.
Major blow-up between mom and daughter – but it’s clear Nick does know too much (which will be established prior) – and he can’t be trusted to go along with the program, because he has… well… he still seems to have a soul!
He’s trying to help the HDFC get out of foreclosure (which is part of Athena’s money-laundering plan – that is, to rig the foreclosure auction of what would otherwise be a “protected property” – and unable to be purchased) – so that is a problem. And… he’s also started poking around in the sale of the Church property – which, along with the apartment house and the Mansion – complete the entire block – which is what needs to be sold “together” for the money-laundering consortium to move ahead with their overall plan. So – while Athena has to promise her daughter they’ll figure out a way to convince Nick to “join the family business” –
Athena, instead, gets on the phone and arranges for an “accident” to befall Nick on his way home.
EXT. CITY STREET – NIGHT
But when a car pulls up and someone jumps out to grab him – Nick manages to shake him off and take off on the run…
And our old friend, the homeless person from the airport, with his cat, just happens to be in the right place at the right time, to shove their shopping cart in front of Nick’s pursuer – sending him crashing all over the sidewalk – as Nick disappears from sight (and the cat – who is actually a bobcat-sized Tom – snarls and swipes at the pursuer as he gets to his feet – encouraging him to get back into the car, and continue their pursuit of Nick in a safer environment). Good karma in action, to be sure!
EXT. NICK’S NEW RESIDENCE
The car is pulled up outside of Nick’s current residence.
Nick, across the street, realizes he can’t go home just now.
EXT. UPTOWN TRINITY CEMETERY – NIGHT
It’s not that far away from his apartment house. He pulls himself up over the wrought-iron fence that separates it from the street…
And, as it starts to rain, he forces the door of a large, stone family crypt – which gives way – and lets him stumble inside.
INT. FAMILY CRYPT – NIGHT
His phone lights the way – a small room, with several stone coffins and plaques. Spooky, but kind of neat. If there were a bit more of a chase – maybe he hears the guys coming over the fence after him, but they don’t realize where he is. Or… if they think they did – and actually try to open the metal door of the crypt – Nick tries to hold it closed from the other side – but he can’t get a good grip on it – and then – he hears a deep male voice telling him not to worry – “Alice and I will keep it closed!” Er… are these the spirits of the famous Harlem numbers runner and his daughter, whose house Nick has been charged to sell? Hmmm… there’s a possibility…!
Anyway – Nick’s phone dies, its light goes out, and he’s really stiff when he wakes up at sunrise!
THIRD ACT
EXT. UPTOWN TRINITY CEMETERY – DAY
Walking out from the crypt (shutting the door carefully behind him) – who does Nick see reading one of the historic headstones? Yup – it’s Shania. She tells him she got a text to meet him here. From an unknown number. Hmmm… well, Casper was a famous “numbers king”, so why not?
ANYWAY – these two have some major things to work through here – as well as Athena and her daughter – and then Athena and Nick, as well. So lot’s to work on here!
Oh – and along the way – the families in the HDFC were able to raise enough money to save their building – with Nick’s help, of course. Maybe some new buyers, we’ll see.
Also – the Minister who had pretty much sold out his parishioners in the sale of the church – and now has second thoughts – gets pushed off a subway platform and dies. However, it will later turn out that he had taken out a life-insurance policy on himself for a (very) large amount – leaving his “church” as his beneficiary. And… the Attorney General will void the previously contracted sale – as is his right (in terms of the sale of religious properties). A lot of this is going to have to be woven into the story as we go – and revealed at the right times along the way.
I wonder if Scott – the president of the real estate company – gets co-opted? Oh – yes, in fact, he does.
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ACT FOUR
INT, MANSION – DAY
Somehow – the sale of the Mansion is going to go through and – the consortium of remaining bad guys who have decided that they need to take matters in their own hands and they need to take out all three – Nick, Shania, and Athena. So a major bad-guy double-cross!
The sale will close on the following day – not sure how all this will work out – but, although at this point, the traditional “Final Walk-Through” the day before the sale may not be a logical proceeding – I have a feeling that Carl, the current owner, who is deeply in debt & truly has to sell the mansion or lose it – tells Nick that he, Nick, needs to come to the Mansion for the last time. I haven’t figured everything out yet – but – he’ll need to be there along with Shania and Athena – and – the idea is for the bad guys (I think Scott is there, too) – to kill all of them, because they all seem to have “changed sides” and need to be eliminated. Not Scott – because he has sold-out Athena and Shania, and, of course, Nick.
And – along with all this, there has always been a well-established plan to trigger “an accidental gas explosion” (hey, these things do happen in NYC) – that will not only blow up the “historically protected” Mansion, but will also take out the HDFC apartment house (which could, legally, be purchased if it went into foreclosure, but which would not be able to be destroyed to build a new, market-rate building). It’s okay if the Church gets blown up – because it was a mess, anyway, and the Minister’s “bequest” will enable his parishioners to rebuild – and better than before…
But, meanwhile, back at the Final Walk-Through, Nick, Shania, and Athena go to rescue Carl – are trapped – find out about the rigged explosions – and, because Shania and Athena are, in fact, so totally bad ass (Kendo, Aikido, and who knows what else – Athena had made sure Shania trained with her, all through her childhood) – they take out the bad guys – along with some timely help from Nick and Carl! AND – with a brief intervention from Casper (the great-great grandfather – his name will probably be changed from the actual historic character, whose name was, truly, Casper) and his daughter Alice – they discover how to avert the destruction of the Mansion – but, since the aversion of a final big explosion is sort of anticlimactic – there will be some fun and climactic action which will result in the blowing up of the Church – with only the bad guys getting blown up – but maybe (not sure how or why) – a suitcase full of money gets blown up, showering the entire neighborhood (including the cat person) with $100 bills!
AND – also, thanks to Casper’s spirited guidance, the actual “buried treasure” is found within the walls of the Manion. It turns out to be a deed dating back to the days when Casper ran one of Harlem’s very first locally owned mortgage companies – which is for the land underlying the 25 story “State Building” – which will mean that Carl now “owns” the land underlying this massive, governmental structure! And, as we wrap up the loose ends, we’ll find out that, though it will be kept very, very quiet, the State of New York will be paying Carl and his family a tidy sum for what turns out to be an ongoing lease for the land their multi-story building rests upon!
The real estate company – now run directly by Shania – oversees the mortgaging construction of the new church + community space + supermarket + condos – which will be a fantastically good thing for the community – as opposed to the original money-laundering scheme to buy up the whole block – destroy all the protected buildings through an “unfortunate catastrophic accident” – and then build a huge money-laundering dream of a steel-and-glass skyscraper, which would be flipped into several phases of additional money-laundering ventures, each worth many tens of millions of dollars – of “freshly cleaned” criminally-originated financing.
But now, instead, the neighborhood is preserved and enhanced – and – hey, Nick even makes enough of a real estate commission through the Church project – as well as negotiating the (you guessed it) ongoing lease for the State House’s underlying property – that he now has just enough money to go back and “save the orphanage” – YAY!
And – well, I think that Nick and Shania just might celebrate their marriage in the new, rebuilt Church – with, of course, Athena and, maybe, one or more spiritual beings to add to the cheer!
SO – still a lot more to work out – but this is the direction I want it to go in.
FADE OUT!
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Marilynne’s High Speed Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is that each draft has its own purpose and quality level.
Act 1:
INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – DAY
OPENING: Isy enters the lab with a cut on her arm and discovers it is healed when she leaves the lab.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY SOON AFTER
TE 1: In a meeting with colleagues who try to control what she does, she declares her independence and she won’t take any more crap from them.
INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – LATER THAT DAY
TE 2: A bizarre accident in a trial scenario interferes with their testing and a key team member quits. During the test of a rock climbing scenario, the climbing rope is apparently cut and the tester “falls to the ground” – it’s only 2 feet, but he felt he was falling from a great height and suffered a panic attack.
TE 3: Become skilled at operating inside the VHP lab as its developer. She doesn’t have any idea how this could happen and begins testing the training scenarios herself to find out.
INT. CONVENIENCE STORE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: An androgenous figure dressed in black apparently randomly robs a local convenience store. Roberto, Isy’s 10 year-old son, is shot and sustains a life threatening spinal injury. She suspects the Saboteur is behind it.
TE 4: Sees the Saboteur’s power and its intent to destroy her.
INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – LATE AFTERNOON
Isy is close to finding the answer (for her son) when a similar figure in black gains entry to their secure environment. It causes a crash in the virtual test of a motocross race scenario and comes close to seriously injuring Isy.
Act 2:
INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT MEETING ROOM – DAY
Team discusses how and why someone is sabotaging the Virtual Human Program (VHP); list possible suspects who would stand to gain by destroying their project
INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT COMPUTING ROOM – DAY
Team works to repair the programming glitch that caused motocross accident. Discuss who could be responsible, who would benefit (?government, military, industry)
INT. ISY’S OFFICE – LATE AFTERNOON
Receives a notice that an anonymous donor will fund their project to completion. Isy struggles with not knowing who that funder is and whether it will make a difference to how the technology is used.
INT. ISY’S OFFICE – LATE EVENING
Isy is tired and working alone. She glimpses a shadowy black figure physically in the lab as well as on multiple computer screens and wonders if this is all in her head.
INT. ISY’S OFFICE – VERY EARLY NEXT MORNING
Isy arrives for work and discovers the figure in black sitting at her desk. It threatens her and her son’s lives. She calls Campus Security, but the figure disappears by the time they arrive.
TE 5: Recognizes the Virtual Human Project has the potential to develop in more complex and potentially dangerous ways that are outside their current experience.
INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT MEETING ROOM – DAY
Team has anxious discussion about how it is possible for this Virtual Human to exist outside the lab and possible future consequences.
INT. ISY’S OFFICE – LATER SAME DAY
Isy discusses the source of her anonymous funding with her department head – finds out it is the military, which she worries could present some serious problems in how the technology is eventually used but she has run out of options.
Act 3:
INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – DAY
Isy and her team test ways to take down the Saboteur. Develop a plan and start round the clock monitoring of the virtual and physical spaces; reset access codes to the VHP. Able to rule out the military who it turns out are funding the remainder of their research.
INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – LATER THAT DAY
Under extreme security precautions, Isy attempts to temporarily repair Roberto’s spine damage. This will give them more time to find and correct the problem that’s preventing a permanent change. The figure in black interferes in the treatment and nearly kills Roberto.
Isy concludes there is a leak in the team but doesn’t know where.
Act 4:
INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – NEXT DAY
TE 6: Defeat the Saboteur at its own game.
Isy reveals complete plans to two out of the three team members. She suspects the third member she hired after the climbing wall accident and only reveals partial plans to him.
Isy is attacked in a virtual test of motocross racing. But this time she’s ready. With the help of two team members, she aggressively knocks out its car, sending it crashing to the side in flames.
INT. VIRTUAL HUMAN PROJECT LAB – 2 DAYS LATER
TE 7: Isy adopts her rightful place as the research leader (?is promoted, gets a plaque)
Isy completes the urgent treatment on her son’s spine and proves it is successful.
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Beat Sheet and high speed writing. What I learned is to let go of trying to figure out every scene; more important to get down what you can and move on to the next assignment
EXT./INT. CATHOLIC SCHOOL – DAY
TE 1: FRANK (8) is having a power struggle with a nun. He gets the wooden stick.SUPERIMPOSE: “LEVITTOWN LONG ISLAND”
INT. FRANK’S HOUSE – DAY
Frank fighting his attempt to put on Catholic School uniform. Argues with his MOTHER and SMACKS her wrist with a ruler; his FATHER does nothing in his easy chair.INT. HORSE RIDING STABLE – DAY
Frank (15) shows sense of peace, calm, and maturity around the horses.MONTAGE – LEVITTOWN HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
– Football Frank bull rushes the quarterback THUD knocks him out.
– History class Frank. Wild APPLAUSE as he completes his presentation on Henry David Thoreau.
– Wrestling Frank. Arches back with his gripped opponent flying over him and down HARD; shoulder blades squarely on the matt. Ref’s hand SLAPS the mat. Pinned!
END MONTAGEEXT. HORSE RIDING STABLE – DAY
Large excavator SMASHES down stables making room for urban sprawl.INT. WRESTLING COACHES OFFICE – DAY
Frank (18) turning down full boat wrestling scholarship to local Division One University.INCITING INCIDENT – LEAVES NY FOR MAINE
EXT. FRANKS HOUSE – DAY
Frank tip of the fedora to his father and cold look for his mother; he drives away.EXT. UMAINE FOOTBALL – DAY
Frank bulling once again as a UMaine linebacker. He kneels over coughing and hacking after a vicious hit.INT. DOCS OFFICE DAY
Frank is diagnosed with asthma and prescribed inhalers. DOCTER tells him to “stay away from dust”.EXT. FARM – DAY
Frank is throwing massive hay bales from truck onto a conveyer with hay chaff drifting in the daylight.INT. HIGHSCHOOL – DAY
Frank is lectured on why the basketball team needs new supplies while his wrestling team has to “make due” with their tattered equipment.INT. BOOSTERS OFFICE – DAY
Frank pulls cash from the Boosters money box and buys his wrestling team new equipment.INT. SUPERINTENDENT’S OFFICE – DAY
TP: Frank is fired as Wrestling Coach.Act II
INT. FARM – NIGHT
Frank agrees to full time on the farm with DRUNK FARMER; awkwardly flirts with the FARMER’S DAUGHTER.EXT. FARM – DAY
Drunk farmer rolls his tractor over and is pinned. In a feat of strength, Frank uprights the tractor and saves Farmer.INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
With farmer in recovery, Frank asks to marry his daughter; they all agree to a blissful farm family future.INT. BANK – DAY
With baby now in tote, Frank and Farmer’s Daughter quite literally “buy the farm”.EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Frank uses his charm and charisma to recruit/con his juvenile delinquent former wrestlers to do his dirty work on the farm. He agrees to pay them with beer and cigarettes.SERIES OF SHOTS – JUVENILES WORKING ON THE FARM
SLAMS bucket of tractor into the barn while SQUASHING A quart of motor oil under the wheel.
Truck brakes SNAP on the hill as truck catches fire; Juvie kids bail out and truck SPLASHES into farm pond.
The kids accidently bale up a farm cat. By miracle the cat is unharmed.
Juvies furiously throw hay in the barn; Frank’s YOUNG SON – the stacker is almost buried alive.
End of the week the juveniles are paid in beer and cigarettes.EXT. MENTOR’S HOUSE – DAY
Enter the MENTOR. He’s an odd Gnome like man with a crooked stroke smile. Frank is enamored with his practical wisdom re independent thought and creative engineering genius.
His bull falls through the front porch and into the basement. He shows Frank how to pull it out with a tractor bucket by the horns . The bull struts away unharmed.EXT. FARM – DAY
Enter the court jester drunk FIXER. He’s rude, crude, and socially unacceptable but a brilliant and creative mechanic. Frank pays him in beer and cigarettes.EXT. NEW SHOE FACTORY – MORNING
With farm bills piling up, Frank receives a good job offer at the new shoe factory in town. In the future/dream sequence, Frank envisions throwing his manager into a leather cutting and heel pressing machine. He does not accept the job.INT. SUPERMARKET – DAY
Mid Point Turning Point: Browsing for staple items, Frank discovers a new display of affordable dairy products from industrial farming.EXT. ROAD TO HOME – DAY
Frank’s Mentor has been in a nasty car crash. The jaws of life safely extract him amongst the gin bottles.INT. FARMHOUSE – NIGHT
Frank’s wife is exasperated at the bills piling up and bill collectors calling. She threatens to get a job in town to help pay the bills. He tells her: “you working in town is the beginning of the end”.PLACEHOLDER: rethink the sequence/events as all these negative events combined might feel more like “whiff of death” that typically happens at 2/3 point.
EXT. WOODS – SETTING SUN.
TE: On the back 40 acres Frank wanders into the woods and sits on a stump. Has a “Walden Moment” and goes back to the farm house office; thumbs through his Thoreau books looking for answers.INT. UMAINE – OFFICE – DAY
Frank signs up for night classes to get his degree in Forestry.EXT./INT. SUPERMARKET – DAY
Frank’s wife accepts a job in the deli; packaging industrial farming meat products.ACT III
EXT. FARM – MORNING
As the bank leans toward foreclosure and him in divorce, he manipulates the wife into accepting a small plot of land and sign off on the whole property. Frank sells another chunk of property to friends in order to refinance. He’s able to keep her family farm and in his name.
PLACEHOLDER: lots going on here; will need to be broken up into several scenes.EXT. UMAINE – DAY
Frank meets CUTE GAL thumbing through history books in the UMaine bookstore. She also happens to be a published author and Thoreau and Joseph Campbell expert.EXT. MENTOR’S HOUSE – DAY
Frank fights to keep his mentor alive, but Mentor’s family appreciates his inheritance more than him; encouraging him to drink himself to death.EXT. FUNERAL – DAY
At the funeral, the PRIEST talks about “mentor’s independent thought and all we’ve lost”; this gives Frank a book idea.EXT. UMAINE – DAY
Frank graduates with his Forestry Degree and pitches a book idea to Cute Gal; awkward attempt asking her out/help with his book.EXT. FARM – DAY
Now past mid life, Frank is back on the farm with a small herd or replacement cattle – a niche way to keep losing money while still farming. He moves deeper into the woods doing forestry (mapping) while being falsely gregarious around Cute Gal; attempting to market his book to publishers.
TURNING POINT – Huge failure/Major shiftEXT. BACK 40 – SUNSET.
Frank proposes to Cute Gal while fixing a fence amongst the alfalfa clovers. She says no and candidly admits his book will never get published due to his unique “personality disorder”.INT. UNCLE BERT’S PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO – DAY
Frank gets the idea to pair his book with UNCLE BERT’S beautiful black and white photos (think Ansel Adam of Maine). Bert agrees and Frank’s book gets published.EXT. FARM – DAY
While chasing escaped cattle, Uncle Bert and Frank discuss Joseph Campbell, mythology, and all the woes of today’s society.EXT./INT. STATE HOUSE IN AUGUSTA MAINE – DAY
Frank meets with one of his past “Juvies made good” and talks about writing his next book addressing modern ills of politics, social/cultural, environment, and economics. This would be his grand final piece of work.INT. UNCLE BERT’S PHOTOGRAPHY STUDIO – NIGHT
Thumbing through Uncle Bert’s portfolio, Frank stumble on old black and white negatives the follow Thoreau’s
“In the Maine Woods” journey.INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
Uncle Bert catches covid and dies.ACT IV
INT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
Frank thumbs through his books and comes across one titled “where have all our heroes gone?” He falls asleep at his desk.MONTAGE – FRANK APPROACHING HIS FINAL YEARS
The last heifer gets shipped off as he’s too weak to fix fences.
He piles up his books about lost heroes, Thoreau, Uncle Bert, mythology with Joseph Campbell, and his essays on how to repair our countries woes. He puts the old black and white wilderness photos with Thoreau and gets back to work.
Having his dilapidated farmhouse finally fixed up.
Meets with lawyers and writes up last will and testament.
Works with local artist pairing up Uncle Bert’s Maine woods photos with Thoreau’s Maine Woods passages.INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
An older Cute Gal visits Frank in his bed; admires what is most likely his last project and agrees to publish.INT. HOSPICE CARE – NIGHT
As Frank drifts off he imagines himself, Uncle Bert, and Thoreau at the base of Mt. Katahdin. As they stare up the steep slope, Thoreau says “now comes good sailing”.PLACEHOLDER: rushed at the end/Act IV; much required to space out/tie everything together…
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Chris Spizuoco.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by
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The Sacred Kingdom
“What I learned doing this assignment is…to be able to construct each significant sequence as required without being opted to explain what goes on in between.
INT. PALACE ENTRANCE- LATER
WAR MINISTER tells him SHALIVAHANA, Avanti’s most fierce enemy is grabbing he chance to attack since it is only legitimate – or possible to take over the kingdom if its throne isn’t occupied by a rightful heir. He urges Akaash to agree to a coronation. The ROYAL PRIEST casts doubts on Akaash’s worthiness to be king.
INT. QUEEN’S APARTMENT – CONTINUOUS
The Queen is with MOHINI (18) Akaash’s childhood sweetheart when Akaash comes in, excited.He has agreed to be crowned. His mother tells him he will dishonor his father and the throne of the Sacred Kingdom if he is crowned before he’s ready.
TE 1. It’s like a slap in the face.
EXT. GARDEN – LATER
Mohini consoles Akaash. Though confident of his capabilities, he is desolate, unsure if his father is dead, and has secret doubts about his ability – and wants to know if his father may still be alive.
TE 2. He decides to go in search of his father.
EXT. PALACE GATES – NIGHT
Akaash is stopped at the palace gates by a GIANT sent by his ancestors the sky-go Indra. No one may go in or out of Avanti unless they pass the test. They battle, Akaash wins. The Giant hears his mission and tells him his father went to visit the Yogi Shant Sheel on his last mission to break the curse put on the rulers of Avanti by an old Yogi Maldev for doing him harm.
EXT. CREMATION FIELD – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Opening – As Akaash wades alone through the cremation ground he comes across hideous monsters. At the centre is YOGI SHANT SHEEL. Akaash is surprised to see him in this unholy setting but Shant Sheel says he is not in a position to judge anyone. How does he know that he is not secretly evil or treacherous?
TE 1. He realizes how alone he is and how little he knows of these matters. But his father’s life (or afterlife) is in his hands and sets off.
INCITING INCIDENT. Shant Sheel tells Akaash that he has to track down who threw his father into the infernal regions out of revenge because Vikram displaced him as king. Akaash must get there in time to disrupt the rituals and if he is to save his father.
EXT. WILDERNESS – DAWN
TE. He walks out, shocked by his father’s treachery. Why did Vikram supersede his older brother and does he plan to do the same to him?
EXT. WILDERNESS – DAY
OPENING: Akaash alone and distracted falls into his old ways, hunting and wasting time.
INCITING INCIDENT. His dead grandfather arrives and tells him the story behind the curse on his line.
EXT. WILDERNESS – CONTINUOUS
TE1. Akaash is disillusioned about his family and even more determined to confront his father and find out the truth.
EXT. A MOUNTAIN TOP – CONTINUOUS
Akaash approaches Hari and interrupts his rituals. Akaash is attacked by missiles and thunderbolts but holds his own. In the battle Hari falls into the abyss. Akaash doesn’t know if this means he can’t rescue his father.
EXT. THE ABYSS – CONTINUOUS
TE. Akaash’s first thought is to get answers from his father whatever the cost. He leaps into the abyss.
INT. BEDROOM — NIGHT OPENING:
TE 1: Meets Trinity for the first time. She has a message — “Morpheus is looking for him.
INT. DEEP-SEA REALM OF PATAAL- DAY
OPENING: Akaash wakes up surrounded by luxury and healing, to see the face of a CORPSE pushing and prodding him. It nags him to look for Vikram. He says he owes him a debt and won’t be free until he repays it.
EXT. DEEP-SEA GROTTO – LATER
TE 1: Akaash is roused from his hypnotic sleep and remembers his mission. He asks VASUKI the Cobra-King if his father is in Pataal.
INT. VASUKI’S THRONE ROOM – CONTINUOUS
INCITING INCIDENT: Vasuki refuses to answer Akaash’s question. And says visitors to Pataal have to remain here.
TE 2: Akaash recalls the Yogi’s words about never knowing who anyone really is. He swallows his pride and hostility and asks for Hari’s advice.
EXT. A SMALL SEA-CAVE – DAY
OPENING: Hari tells Akaash he dishonored the throne and the kingdom so he crowned Vikram king and abandoned worldly matters to purify himself of his sins. Without someone on the throne, Avanti is open to attack. And as a Sacred City, if it is taken over by Shalivahana the world will be in danger of being controlled by evil forces.
INT. PALACE CORIDOR
OPENING INCIDENT: Akaash finds out the NAGMANI stone from Vasuki’s crown will allow him to escape. He persuades the Queen’s LADY to bring him the stone.
TE 1: As he approaches the boundary he is overcome with guilt repaying the Lady’s favor with severe punishment manages to return the stone before its absence is discovered.
INCITING INCIDENT:
Vasuki creates terrible trials to stop Akaash fleeing. He battle through but at the border, a massive barrier reef appears. Beyond it marshy sand as far as the eye can see. Akaash gives up.
TE 2: He hears the piteous calls of an old WITCH trapped in the sands and feels obliged to help. He heaves himself up and carries her on his back. She drives him on, lashing him and goading an humiliating him on and finally they re-enter the human realm.
OPENING: At the cremation ground. The witch comes off his back. She says was testing his compassion and humility and he helped her, despite her cruelty without asking for reward.
TE 1: Akaash is overwhelmed and grateful. He knows now he doesn’t need praise or warrior skills to do what he believes is his duty. Serving others – an important duty of kingship.
INCITING INCIDENT: The Corpse warns Akaash that Yogi Shant Sheel intends to offer him and his family as a human sacrifice to KALI in return for sovereignty over the world. He is the reincarnation of Yogi Maldev and has picked Akaash’s family to avenge the wrong-doing of his grand-father who destroyed his ritual meditations in his previous life.
TE 2: Akaash sees the Corpse’s sincerity, accepts his advice that he should beware Shant Sheel’s command to prostrate himself before the flames.
OPENING: When the moment comes, Akaash tries to protect himself and Hari but Shant Sheel is prepared and hurls him into the flames.
TE 1: Akaash appeals to Kali to take him, let his uncle, who is a holy man, to go and redeem his line from the curse.
INCITING INCIDENT: Shant Sheel commands a group of witches to suck their blood. Instead the fly into the fire and liberate him.
TE 2: Akaash’s determination to rescue his father is strengthened, he must save him and the family from the curse and make Avanti secure.
OPENING: The witches, instructed by Kali, who was the disguised as the old witch who rode his back, fly Akaash into Svarg, the realm of the Sky-God Indira – his ancestor. There he sees his father Vikram and his brother Dharma. They don’t recognize him.
TE 1: Akaash fights the impulse to sink into the euphoric existence of Svarg and to confront his father. Instead, he prays for guidance.
INCITING INCIDENT: Akaash shows the memory gem to Dharma, hoping to remind him of the past. It shows them SHALIVAHANA, the enemy has arrived with his army and battering down the gates of Avanti. Dharma suddenly remembers.
TE 2: Akaash faces the toughest decision of his life – wait for his father to remember the past and resolve his question he sacrifices his yearning for his father’s validation to return to protect Avanti. He tells Vikram he and Dharma will return to protect the Sacred Kingdom. If he can be crowned in time, Avanti will be saved from attack.
OPENING: He tells Vikram he and Dharma will return to protect the Sacred Kingdom. If he can be crowned in time, Avanti will be saved from attack. When Vikram hears the mention of a Sacred City, he says he will go with them to defend it.
TE 1: They arrive too late. The battle is in full flow. Akaash acknowledges he has never fought a war before and asks his father’s guidance and Dharma’s help. Vikram agrees.
INCITING INCIDENT: Shalivahana attacks Vikram from behind but escapes without killing him. He conceals himself behind a dune so as not to demoralise avanti’s soldiers. And he remembers Akaash and Avanti.
TE: Dharma takes Akaash to Vikram who gives him his ring bestowed on him by Indra. Akaash begs him to stay but it his time to return to Svarg.
OPENING: Shalivahana has surrounded the Queen’s quarters and is holding the women hostage.
TE 1: Akaash hands over to Dharma and races over to liberate them. They tell him he should put the safety of Avanti above everything. They will look after themselves. He remembers the world could be at stake ad against his own desire to save the Queen and Mohini, he fights off the army
INCITING INCIDENT: The forces of Kali battle Shant Sheel who is behind Shalivahan.
TE 2: A fights with honour and dedication bearing in ind the vlues of battle.
OPENING: The battle rages between humans, gods and the demonic forces of Shant Sheel.
TE 1: Akash slay Shalivahana, resisting the desire to cast another blow for revenge.
INCITING INCIDENT: Akaash is face to face with Shant Sheel with supernatural powers. Shant Sheel is indestructible but Akaash doesn’t gibe up.
TE 2: Akaash sees Kali in the distance, calls out ‘Hail Kali!’ and thrusts is sword into Shant Sheel. He falls to the ground. A sliver of dark smoke is seen escaping his body as he dissolves.
The end
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Shahrukh Shackle.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by Shahrukh Shackle.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by
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High Speed Beat Sheet
David Bruno
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
Learned many things about organizational structure.
4 ACT STRUCTURE BEAT SHEET
Act 1:
Opening:
INT. CAMPUS LECTURE HALL – DAY
Alistar is teaching a class on the ‘Fermi Paradox’
Inciting Incident:
INT. NSA OFFICE – DAY
Antag is investigating Alistar’s field trip. He assigns a student to spy on Alistar.
EXT. MOJAVE DESERT – DAY
Field trip to the Mojave desert where the Nevada triangle exists. During the field trip an actual alien spacecraft is sighted.
Act 2:
The Plan:
EXT. CAMPUS GROUNDS – DAY
Alistar reasons with stunned students after ET encounter. Students refute his rationalization. Contends with his next step after the trip.
INT. CAMPUS LECTURE HALL – DAY
Alistar reviews other explanations but is again refuted.
INT. FACULTY OFFICE – DAY
Later, he is visited by the NSA and is interrogated concerning his experience and those of his students. Alistar placates the NSA official. Is given a faux pass. The NSA official is unconvinced and continues his investigation of Alistar. The cat and mouse chase begins.
Turning Point 2:
INT. FACULTY OFFICE – NIGHT
Alistar is now on alert about the NSA and no longer believes he is safe from harm if he continues his investigations. He seeks another method and determines a sabbatical is in order.
MIDPOINT:
PLACEHOLDER – Alistar reviews all his data concerning alien investigations and government misinformation in a brainstorming session that lasts into the night.
INT. HOME – DAY
He seeks to find out who is spying on him in his class. He concludes his class and issues top grades to all.
After giving notice of sabbatical, he is packing for a trip to Egypt.
Placeholder: Alistar spots his suspected student at the airport in combat fatigues.
Act 3:
INT. JET PLANE – NIGHT
Alistar re-evaluates his information about government coverups and misinformation. He now realizes that the government agency, NSA, is at the heart of the concealment of the truth for whatever reason. He is more determined that ever, believing that forewarned is forearmed and continues his investigation into the presents of aliens on earth and the origins of the Homo-sapiens.
EXT. CAIRO AIRPORT – DAY
Alistar meets his archeologist friend, Max working on a dig in Egypt looking for alien artifacts.
EXT. ARCHEOLOGY DIG – DAY
At his dig Alistar briefs Max about recent events. Max tells Alistar that he is fearful they’re on the same path since they both believe homo-sapiens were brought here from another planet.
EXT. INSIDE THE DIG – (LATER) DAY
Max uncovers a piece of alien spacecraft he lifts up out of the dig, raises his arms in a victorious gesture. A shot rings out and Max is killed by a bullet. Alistar now knows how serious of a dilemma he is in.
EXT. DESERT SCENE – DAY
A Bedouin tribe attacks the sniper and Alistar escapes and returns to his home.
INT. SECRET NSA FACILITY – NIGHT
The antag outside of a chamber with alien strapped inside to a table. The antag nods his head to the operator. He pulls a level lowering a pellets into the bucket of acid release the poisonous gas, killing the alien. The antag verifies the that the alien has been dispatched. He lifts his phone and says, ‘It’s done’ and walks out of the facility.
Act 4: (Test the change in this character! Prove New Ways!)
EXT. FIELD TRIP LOCATION – DAY
Alistar walks for days to a ridge and sees an alien encampment miles away. Aliens scurry to hide. A thermobaric bomb explodes over encampment destroying both aliens and drone. Alistar records everything.
EXT. ALIEN ENCAMPMENT – SUNSET
Alistar assesses the damage and finds 1 alien alive. He asks the alien if homo-sapiens were from another planet. The alien chokes and replies, “Yes, we placed Homo-sapiens here as the population of a penal colony”. Alistar is shocked beyond belief and says “no, no, no. That can’t be”. The alien looks at him and says; “you’ve come a long way from bows and arrow… just look around you! And this is a small thing compared to thermonuclear… “ And the alien dies. Alistar hears in the distance the hum of drone propellers and takes cover… He walks out of the encampment in the cover of night back home to his office.
INT. CONGRESSIONAL HEARING – DAY
Alistar testifies to a subcommittee on government wrongdoing about what he witnessed to the NSA’s activity.
INT. HOME OFFICE OF NSA ANTAG – NIGHT
ANTAG puts gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger.
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Aina’s High Speed Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is that it makes the process of mapping out the story far more easier to have done the previous steps. But I found it difficult to stay on the general path and not start adding too many details in Beat Sheet.
ACT 1 – SET UP AND SEE OLD WAYS
OPENING: Montage of Urr’s life
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT – WINTER
Urr eats cookies and cream under a Christmas tree – family dog near by, waits, Urr gives him a piece.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY – WINTER
Urr pushes toys out of the way – father’s foot steps directly to the place the toy had been before
Urr uses his magic to cleanse the apartment as he rides on the dog
INT. APARTMENT – URR’S HIDEOUT – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: show Urr’s corner in the city – similar or different to the farm?
INT. APARTMENT – DAY – SPRING
Mother/Father in an argument – dark shadows grow in a corner of the room – Urr does his ritual – shadows retreat – fight stops
Urr cleans apartment, boxes on his way
INT. APARTMENT – DAY – SPRING
TE 1: More boxes and less things as Urr cleanses the apartment – talk of moving, and excitement about the house. Urr puzzled – moving, moving where? Listens in. Begins to pack. They cannot go without me, without me they will loose all their luck, and without them I don’t know what will happen to me.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY – SUMMER
INCITING INCIDENT: Movers move out furniture and boxes – family dog going bonkers – Urr in one of the boxes. Daughter asks if Family Elf comes along. Mother says yes. But what if there is an house elf already there. Mom: they will have to get along then.
EXT. FARM – STABLES – DAY – SUMMER
Farm elves look at family moving in – excitement – Velbas leads the troops – respect (Velbs and farm elves 1).
INT. FARM HOUSE – URR’S HIDEOUT – DAY – SUMMER
PLACEHOLDER: Urr settles in – what could happen here? Chat with dog? Mice come to check up on him? Also, place must be hidden
INT. FARM HOUSE – KITCHEN/BEDROOM/HALLWAY – SUMMER
TE2: Urr explores his new home – an old farm house, which needs a lot of work. Urr figures it’s too big for him to be able to do his job properly – plus family goes outside a lot.
EXT. FARM HOUSE COURTYARD – DAY
TE 3: Urr follows Daughter out – it’s a large farm, with a stable and barn, an old well in the middle of the courtyard. Daughter has a sandbox near the house. Urr freaked – this is too much – how will he look after all of them? Rushes back in:
INT. FARM HOUSE KITCHEN – DAY
TE4: Urr bumps into Velbas and his daughter Kippen (sneaked up on Urr, keeping an eye on him). Velbas is hostile. Kippen is nice. Velbas tells Urr immediately he wants him out. Urr is fine with that, he wants to get away from here as well.
INT. FARM HOUSE – URR’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: Urr thinking of a plan at night. His plan/way is a subtle manipulation. What could it be?
EXT/INT. FARM HOUSE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Urr sees something that makes him determined he must get the family away from here. What could it be? Shadows and farm elves not knowing what to do with it? Family loving the farm?
EXT. FARM HOUSE/COURTYARD – DAY
TURNING POINT: Urr makes a deal with Velbas, they will work together to make the family hate the farm and move back to the city. Leaving Urr breaks something by accident “first accident” – Mother not happy – this place is falling apart, why are we here?
ACT 2 – CHALLENGE THE OLD WAYS
INT. FARM HOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
THE PLAN – Velbas talks reluctant Urr into his plan to leave an impression that the house is falling apart, it does not want new people in it – if there’s one thing the father hates most, it’s things not going to plan, and Urr plans to use his as a way to get them to move out.
INT. FARMHOUSE – KITCHEN – DAY
TE5-PLACEHOLDER: “Second accident” – Velbas and Urr do the first crashing of an item together. Urr is not comfortable, but goes along out of respect for the elder. Family clears up the mess. It hurts Urr to do negative things – he is all about positive.
EXT. FARM HOUSE – DAY
TE6: Upset Urr hurries outside away from Velbas. MEETING THE FARM ELVES. He is surrounded by farm elves. Many loud creatures, all want to ask questions, touch him, consider him odd.
INT. FARM HOUSE – DAY
TE7: “Third accident” – Velbas hijacks their project and begins to create chaos. Urr tries to go along, but he is not sure how to co-operate – it is difficult for him.
INT. FARM HOUSE – BY/OR IN URR’S HIDEOUT – EVENING
TE8: Urr by himself, feeling odd and different – he has never had that feeling – he always belonged in his lone world, now lonely feels wrong. Kippen approaches, listens, they form a friendship. Background: shadows
INT. FARM HOUSE DAY/NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER: MONTAGE Velbas breaking things – Urr pulling away – Father fixing things – shadows become larger
EXT. FARM YARD BY THE STABLES – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Mother and Father arguing by the stables.
TE9: Shadows are big and emerge from behind the stables – Velbas freaked – Urr stands up against them and wins, fight dissolves, Mother/Father make up – Urr feels good about himself – Velbas thinks (he cannot do what Urr has just done)
INT. FARM – STABLES – DAY
Farm elves have gathered – Velbas leads the meeting (Velbas and farm elves 2) – farm elves worried about shadows, Velbas tells them there are none – elves don’t believ him – respect fading + think of another development.
INT. FARM HOUSE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: Urr and Kippen do something together – they work well as a team. Maybe include the dog?
INT. FARM HOUSE – EVENING – AUTUMN
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: Urr see Velbas destroying things by himself, laughing, Dad picks up, laughs as well, old things, who needs them, throws away. Thank you, whoever you are. Urr realises that Velbas has been working against him all the time. Velbas wants Urr out but for the family to remain – in order to prosper a house needs people.
ACT 3 – PROFOUND MOMENTS THAT GIVE US NEW WAYS
INT. FARM HOUSE – URR’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
TE10: PLACEHOLDER – beaten, Urr is exhausted from going against his nature and creating chaos instead of harmony. On top of that the shadows have returned and although family loves the new house, there are more disagreements than ever before.
TE11: PLACEHOLDER – Urr speaks with Kippen and realises:
Respect for elders nor being polite is not helping him
He must stand up for himself and his family
He must get wiser and stronger to fight the shadows – saving the family becomes main goal
Kippen asks him not to leave – he has brought this house alive and her father, although a bitch to Urr, is so much more fun to live with. Used to brood and was miserable.
INT. FARM HOUSE – DAY
PLACEHOLDER: something should happen – what? – to help Urr make up his mind
INT. FARM HOUSE – DAY
NEW PLAN: PLACEHOLDER: save the family from themselves and the shadows first and then figure out a way of getting them away from the farm and back to the city
INT/EXT. FARM HOUSE – DAY – AUTUMN
PLACEHOLDER: mending and fixing the house, doing his rituals – but using other elves and Kippen and Dog to help him + training to be stronger to fight the shadows – NOTE: opposition must grow here, a lot! What can Velbas do for it + shadows?
INT. FARM HOUSE – DAY – WINTER
PLACEHOLDER:
the house is good, the family is happy, Urr has done his job.
Dilemma: does he stay and Velbas will make life for his family hell or does he leave (fear of leaving the family because he does not know what will happen to him) and family will get to live in peace?
INT. FARM HOUSE – DAY – WINTER
PLACEHOLDER: what happens for Urr to decide to leave? Remember Xmas is coming.
INT. FARM HOUSE – DAY – XMAS EVE – WINTER
TURNING POINT: Urr decides to leave the family and call himself defeated, Velbas has won.
ACT 4 – THE CHANGE IN URR. PROVE NEW WAYS.
EXT. SNOWY FIELDS – DAY – XMAS EVE
TE12: Urr walks off into the night day before Xmas Eve. Fights for his life in the snowstorm, almost dies, but finds his strength, yet now he’s lost. He realises he does not have fear anymore and decides he cannot leave his family like this, he must stand up for what is his. He turns to go back but gets lost in the snowstorm.
EXT. SNOWY FOREST EDGE – DAY – XMAS EVE
TE13: Farm elves find him and help him get back. Farm needs him
EXT. FARM HOUSE – EVENING – XMAS EVE
TE14: the shadows have emerged larger than before and are now destroying the farm physically, Velbas cannot handle them by himself.
EXT/INT. FARM HOUSE – EVENING – STABLE
CLIMAX: Urr leads the farm elves, and Velbas in the battle of banishing the shadows from the farm.
INT. FARM HOUSE – KITCHEN – NIGHT – XMAS EVE
RESOLUTION: cookies and milk under Xmas tree, Urr and farm elves celebrate the victory.
EXT. STABLE – DAY – XMAS
TE15: Velbas moves to stables
INT. FARM HOUSE – DAY
END: Urr and Kippen in the house together.
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EXT. HOUSE – EVENING
OPENING: Monique harasses her husband to the point he walks into traffic and is hit and killed by a car.
INT. OFFICE – MORNING
TE 1: Monique realizes she is being shunned by her coworkers and husband’s friends.
INT. BEDROOM — DAY
A drunk Monique impulsively decides to move to Southern California and start her life over.
EXT. HOUSE – DAY
INCITING INCIDENT: Monique returns from a day at the beach to find her house is occupied by a squatter. The police don’t believe her claims that the house is hers, and when she is unable to provide documents supporting her story, she is forcibly removed from the property.
EXT. HOMELESS SHELTER – NIGHT
Homeless and penniless, a defiant Monique refuses to accept help from the shelter, and instead sleeps on the steps of a nearby church.
INT. LEGAL AID OFFICE – DAY
A furious Monique demands that her overworked caseworker drop everything and attend to her case. He flatly refuses, and bluntly states that he doesn’t believe her.
PLACEHOLDER
Monique takes a series of low-paying, cash only jobs in an effort to support herself. Meanwhile, she continues pounding on doors, trying to find a lawyer who will take her case.
EXT. BUS STOP – NIGHT
Monique is an innocent bystander in a vicious altercation, and is knocked unconscious. She is taken to the hospital, and when she regains consciousness, she experiences a rare act of mercy from a stranger – the nurse tells her of a few places that may be able to help her.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
A passionate Monique outlines for her new lawyer exactly how the scammer is able to get away with property theft – he creates a series of fake identities based on a 1940s baseball lineup.
EXT. PAYPHONE – DAY
Kira, a former friend of Monique’s husband reluctantly agrees to help her prove her identity. Kira is clearly surprised by Monique’s change in personality.
INT. HOUSE- DAYTIME
Monique is released to the care of her mom and sister who grudgingly take
her in and make room for her in their crowded East LA house. All three air
their grievances with each other, but nothing is resolved.
EXT. HOUSE – NIGHTTIME
Monique’s former house – She can’t resist returning to the house, and through the window spots a woman with a gap between her teeth, who looks vaguely familiar. She realizes it’s the clerk from the Hall of Records.
INT. OFFICE – DAYTIME
Tony’s office. When she tells Tony this new information, he is skeptical that she would be involved, since that would mean a widespread network of corruption.
INT. COURTHOUSE – DAYTIME
Monique gives a passionate account of how the scammer stole her property, but is stunned when he only receives a slap on the wrist.
EXT. COURTHOUSE – DAYTIME
LA Courthouse, 6 months later. Monique watches as Martin is released from jail. As he stands on the sidewalk, Monique approaches, introduces herself and shots him between the eyes, relishing the recognition in his eyes.
INT COURTHOUSE – DAYTIME
Monique is sentenced to 10 years for manslaughter, but is granted compassionate release since she has tested positive for AIDS.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAYTIME
At her graveside, Monique’s sister, mom, and former friend Kira all make a few stilted remarks about how special she was. Kira notes how incredible it was for Monique to turn her former home into a hospice.
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