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Lesson 3
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What I learned doing this assignment is this process can be used in a variety of ways: to elevate an existing scene without changing the story line. Rewriting the scene with new situation which elevate and alter the following scenes , narrowing in on character actions, or omitting or combining scenes. It more efficient and focused to work with the outline than sorting through the entire screenplay.
Subject: Ed Lusk, Story Beats:
LOGLINE: A Jesuit Priest, specializing in virology, is summoned to a secret Vatican research facility where he discovers his faith and his trust in science threatened by a diabolical virus causing vampirism which he must cure for before it takes over the human race.
ACT ONE
EXT. HEBREW SLAVE CAMP – DAY
PROLOGUE
Hebrew slaves constructing a new tomb. A slave runs out of the tomb clutching his neck, there’s blood and a bite mark. A water boy screams out – Evil! The bitten slave is immediately cured by a Sage using ancient text read from a scroll. The commotion pulls a Roman Centurion, away from a crucifixion procession going on in the background.
2. INT. THE TOMB – CONTINUOUS
The Centurion investigates. The construction unearthed an even older tomb. He’s attacked by a vampire bat which he fights off and kills with his spear.
3. INT/EXT. THE TOMB ENTRANCE – CONTINUOUS
Longinus takes the bat outside, it burst into flames frightening the slaves. The Sage compliments the Centurion, Longinus, for his bravery. Longinus pushes the Sage down and takes away his sacred scroll. Longinus returns to the procession.
4. EXT. VATICAN CITY – STREET – PRESENT DAY
Its Palm Sunday, a large procession of Christian Pilgrims parade down a narrow street celebrating the day. In the crowd a small boy. He sees , or think he sees, in the shadows of an alley, a creature , cloaked in black, pale face, glowing eyes. The boy, frozen by fear tries to get his mother’s attention, before he can say anything the creature dissipates down the sewer grate.
5. INT. A CHILD’S ROOM – DAY
A emaciated child, a boy maybe ten sits on the floor of a sparse room. The back wall slides away revealing an old priest, Father Milszewki, dressed lab coat and face shield. Behind his back a teddy bear and a syringe filled with glowing vaccine. A feeble attempt by the priest to administer the shot, The boy transforms into a vicious vampire, the altercation nearly kills the priest, leaving him alive but severely wounded and the vampire boy unvaccinated.
6. INT. GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY – VIROLOGY LABORATORY
Modern lab, diplomas and awards. The home to Father Simon Merchant, virologist and Jesuit Priest. His Assistant, young & alluring, Olivia Norcross, has a letter for him from the Vatican. There’s playful banter, unresolved feelings between these two is evident. The letter reveals Merchant is needed urgently in Vatican City. Merchant insist he go, a higher calling. Olivia, insists he stay. He has to prepare for Senate confirmation hearing for his nomination for NIH Director. Compromise made, Merchant will go and Olivia will too.
7. INT. AIRPLANE – NIGHT
Olivia sleeps peacefully. Merchant is does not, we get a glimpse of younger Merchant in a creepy abandoned church. At his feet the the body of a women, assaulted, bloody. Merchant awakens to the blue of the Mediterranean outside the jet’s window and a concerned Olivia.
8. INT/EXT – ROME STREET – TAXI – DAY
The taxi weaves in and out of unbearable Rome traffic. Inside the car, young and naive seminarian, Father Antolini, speaks and understands little English. Merchant and Olivia press Antolini as to why Merchant is needed by The Vatican. Antolini is of no help, only smile and “Si” given the language barrier.
9. EXT. VATICAN CITY – GATE – DAY (FLAGGED)
The taxi enters Vatican City, a little security check, there’s a problem with Olivia being in the car. Olivia upset Merchant not standing up for her drops a threat she will look up her old college chum, Le Nguyen, tit for tat. Antolini will take a miffed Olivia to the hotel after he drops off Merchant.
10. EXT. THE VATICAN – MUSEUM – DAY
Merchant’s perplexed, being dropped off at the Vatican Museum, not what the virologist expects. Olivia jealous, reference made to her expertise in cryptology. Outside the museum Merchant meets jovial , Father Collini, his escort for the trip. Collini assures Merchant many treasure and a few secrets are contained within the museum.
11. INT. MUSEUM – DAY – LATER (FLAGGED)
Collini hustles Merchant quickly pass many treasured artworks, no time to enjoy them. They descending the spiral staircase down, down into darkness. Uneasiness and curiosity shown by Merchant
12. INT. MUSEUM – VESTIBULE – CONTINUOUS
They reach the bottom of the dark staircase. Outside an elevator door Merchant reads the title carved into the stone wall: Institutum Pontificum Studiorum Occulti, translated: The Pontifical Institute of Occult Studies. Merchant is aghast. Collini, as if reading Merchants mind assures Merchant to be prepared as everything he thinks he knows is about to be unsettled. They enter the elevator. Doors closing behind them in swish.
13. INT. ELEVATOR – CONTINUOUS
Heart to heart talk, Merchant and Collini . Merhcant is unsettled. Collini reminds Merchant he is a man of science. He’s understanding will come from the knowledge Collini is about to share with him. He’s reminded by Collini to have a little faith.
14. INT. THE INSTITUTE – CONTINUOUS
The setting has changed. Now in the dark catacombs beneath the Vatican, ancient, carved centuries ago. Lighted by torches, shadows run long. A shadow approaches, a big man, the booming voice of Father O’Hara, echoes, welcoming the famous Father Merchant to The Vatican. Merchant is surprised to find the Nobel winning scientist, Father O’Hara, down here. Both men share admiration for one another along with mutual suspicion.
15. INT. LIBRARY ENTRANCE – CONTINUOUS
The trio arrives at massive carved doors. O’Hara pushed them open revealing an impressive library of books, scrolls, artifacts. Thousands of humanities secrets purloined by the church over the centuries. Merchant is more than impressed but O’Hara informs him this is not what he is here for. A push of a button and a book shelf slides away revealing…
16. INT. THE LABORATORY – CONTINUOUS
A modern expensive laboratory. Cages contain lab animals, agitated and ferrel. O’Hara leads Merchant to a glass cell, O’Hara introduces Merchant to Tomislov, a young Russian, and a murderous vampire. Merchant is shocked. Vampires don’t exist but Father Collini assures him they do. Collini shares he exorcised his share of vampires as the evil spirit infects the soul. O’Hara chimes in he’s discovered vampires are caused by a virus, the N1PH virus. Collini adds the virus itself is diabolical, not the vampires themselves, they are sick according to O’Hara. Finally Merchant is told the reason he is here is to conduct a vaccine trial and cure this spiritual illness before it can mutate once again. Merchant interviews Tomislov and is sympathetic to his plight and agrees to participate.
17. INT. ROME – MERCHANT’S HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Merchant is in turmoil, what he has been told and what he has seen does not make any sense yet, he can not deny its existence. Olivia tries to get get Merchant to spill the beans but won’t. Hurt by this lack of trust Olivia reaches out to her old college flame, living in Rome, Le Nguyen, a conniving former priest,. They go out together leaving Merchant to his own devices and a feeling Le Nguyen knows something about the trials.
18. INT. THE LABORATORY – DAY
Merchant is back in the lab with O’Hara and Collini. It is time for the new vaccination trial. Poor Tomislov is wheeled in strapped to a gurney. Merchant draws the new vaccine, he hesitates giving it to Tomislov. Impatient O’Hara does it for him. They step back and wait. At first calmness then Tomislov erupts into a pain induced rage. His skin boils and then he burst into a torrent of gore. Tomislav’s disembodied evil spirit weaves in and out of the lab, escaping. O’Hara lies on the floor, injured and unconscious.
END ACT ONE
ACT TWO
19. INT. ROME – HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Merchant and his hotel room are a disheveled mess. He flips through the Bible and his lab notes, neither give him solace. Collini is there, scaring Merchant by his unknown presence. Olivia storms in unhappy about Merchant’s condition. She threatens to take him home. Le Nguyễn enters, Merchant accuses him of knowing something about the lab. Olivia presses them about what’s going on. Merchant prepares her for the truth.
20. INT. APOSTOLIC PALACE – MEETING ROOM – NIGHT
Collini and a sickly O’Hara are before the Curia of Cardinals led by Cardinal Michelet, an incredulous grilling of the priest and their secret laboratory is going on. Collini tries to pacify the Cardinals with a little history of vampires taken form his collection of old Hebrew scrolls. While Collini spins his fabled yarn, his V.O. is heard while we cut to vampire prison below the Vatican.
MONTAGE SCENES:
Tomilov’s spirit winds through the prison, cells open, vampires claw and snap fangs at each other. They are hungry, in need of new blood.
The guards see on the security monitors the vampires are loose.
Back at the Curia, yawning Cardinals and sweaty O’Hara and passionate Collini, who goes on with his tale.
21. INT. VAMPIRE PRISON
Before they can gain control at the vampires are on the guards, ripping their skin to shreds while feasting on fresh blood. Nourished and rejuvenated they stamped out of the prison, free to commit more violence.
22. INT. APOSTOLIC PALACE – MEETING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
The Cardinals are unimpressed by Collins’s fables, one is even snoring. O’Hara takes over and presents the scientific side of the vampires story. It’s an illness they are fighting not monsters only leaving Collini and O’Hara to argue among themselves. The Curia has had enough, ruling the experiments may continue but only in the presence of Captain Ossing and his Swiss Guard.
23 INT . – CHURCH OF SAINT HILARY – NIGHT
Two carabinieri investigate a complaint of strange goings on inside the church. Upon investigation they discover a nun/vampire , feating on what’s left of an infant. The carabinieri open fire. The vampire pounces on them, ripping the jaw open on one and tossing the other up to ceiling cracking his head open before falling on the alter. The vampire steps of the carnage on her way out the door, muttering, Dona nobis pacem. (grant us peace)
24. INT. APARTMENT OF CARDINAL MICHELET – NIGHT
Cardinal Michelet feasts on bloody meat. His curtains blow open and he freezes on mid-bite. Before him stands Yofiel, leader of the vampires. He’s the same figure the boy from the parade saw earlier. Yofiel reminds Michelet that if he wants to be the next Pope, he needs to stop the trials and get O’Hara to come through with a vaccine that allows vampires to exist in the daylight. A must needed step for them to take over the world.
25. INT. LABORATORY – NIGHT
Merchant is back at the lab, panicked. Outside the door the howls of vampires is heard somewhere among the catacombs. Young Father Antolini barges in, alarmed and scared to death. The young vampire boy who Father Milszewski tried to vaccinate is loose, crashing through the bookshelf wall. O’Hara and Collini, join from the other bookshelf entrance. In a fight with the vampire boy, Merchant is jabbed by the boy with his own vaccine needle. O’Hara is bitten by the boy. Collini holds the boy at bay with his exorcism skills unto Milzsewski shows up driving a stake in the boys heart. Captain Ossing the Swiss Guard enter, torching the boy with flame thrower. Milzsewski tells the guard to place O’Hara in the glass cell for observation.
26. INT. COLLINI’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Merchant in and out of consciousness, moaning, sweaty. Olivia insist he goes to a hospital except Father Collini and Milszewski convince her a hospital have no idea how to treat someone jabbed with a vampire vaccine. Olivia agrees. Milzsewski reviews Merchant’s notes and sees he was onto something, the virus transmission, spear like bards, are entirely different than traditional virus transmission mechanisms. Merchant moans again, his injection wound on a crucified Christ, an angry welt.
27. INT/EXT. A COTTAGE – DAY (FLAGGED)
Merchant awakens, in a strange rustic cottage, he’s in bed and perfectly fine. Outside blazing sunlight. From his window we see he’s on a great barren plain. The cottage door swings open, a Spanish looking man, wearing a tunic not seen for ages. To Merchant’s bewilderment, this individual looks just like Ignatius Loyola. The visitor introduces himself as such, and invites Merchant to join him on a walk.
28. EXT. THE GREAT PLAIN – DAY – LATER
Loyola assures Merchant he is not the first Jesuit to come to the precipice between belief and doubt. In front of them a deep fissure bottoming out at a river, thousands of feet down.
Loyola keeps walking, out onto thin air, noting between his sandaled feet but the deep fissure bottom. Merchant is far too terrified to follow Loyola off of the firm ground on which he stands. Loyola challenges him, badgering Merchant to trust him. Persuaded by guilt, or faith, Merchant steps off onto the air. Merchant tales hold of his robe, until Loyola says, Whoops. They fall through the air, zooming to the river below. They plunge into the water, through the water into…
29. INT. A DARK EMPTY VOID
…Loyola and Merchant tumble through a vacuum of space. Loyola laughing his head off and Merchant screaming in terror. They fall and fall then land suddenly in Young Merchant’s college dorm room.
30. INT. COLLEGE DORM
Merchant comments he remembers this night, Loyola reminds him he hopes so as it was life changing. The two watch, silent, invisible witnesses to Young Merchant as he calls his mother on his cell phone, no answer. Discerning as the hour is very late.
They watch , silent witnesses as concerned, Young Merchant taps his cell phone. In a second he has his mother’s cell phone location pinging on the GPS map grid. He snatches his jacket off the back of the chair and is out the door.
31. EXT. ABANDONED CHURCH – NIGHT
A women, 40’s hustles past the old church past cigar smoking Loyola and helpless Merchant. The hour is late. She carries grocery bags. A man, hooded, nefarious, follows her. The man attacks. Grocery bags spill. In the struggle, she looses a shoe. She is dragged off into the abandoned church.
32. EXT. STREET – LATER
Young Merchant rounds the corner. His attention focused on the cell phone.
Young Merchant is calling out, “Mom”. He finds the spilled groceries and the single shoe.
The church looms ahead. Young Merchant runs in.
33. INT. A DARK VOID
Loyola puffs away at his cigar as if watching a film. The man begins his sexual assault. Merchant begs Loyola to stop this replay of the worst night of his life. But it plays on in the void. Merchant darts about the church calling out. His attention drawn to drag marks left in the floor dust. He follows the marks into the confessional. We see a women’s foot extended out beyond the door frame. Loyola joins witness Merchant admiring the disturbing tableau. Loyola asks Merchant if there was ever a time he questioned God’s existence would this not be it?
34. INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – NIGHT
Silent witnesses Loyola and Merchant watch as Young Merchant comforts his mother while she dies. Her last wish she forgive this man and Merchant make the best of his life that he can. The hospital room vanishes as Loyola summersaults away into a black void leaving Merchant floating in dead space.
35. INT. DARK VOID
An Angel appears, she is Shimushel, she presents a covenant from The Master, It is the God of Light that makes the spirit, Father Merchant. It is the God of Darkness that traps the spirit in the flesh. Evil is the flesh, goodness is the spirit. Make your choice – now.
36. INT. COLLINI’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Merchant awakens in a mental fog. The room is a shambles. Father Collini’s knocked out. Merchant rouses him, he tells Merchant that “they” have taken Olivia. Merchant finds in his hand a small folded up note from Olivia, its meaning undefined.
END ACT TWO
37.EXT. FOUNTAIN – NIGHT (FLAGGED & OMTTED)
Lovers making out until vampires take over the necking.
38. EXT. COLOSSEUM – NIGHT (FLAGGED & OMITTED)
Vampires on the loose feasting on a couple of vandals.
39. EXT. VATICAN GARDENS – NIGHT
Two priests out for a stroll, there’s a rustling behind the hedges. Next thing they are on the run through the bushes chased by vampires and succumb to their attack.
ACT THREE
40. INT. CATACOMBS – NIGHT
Cardinal Michelet is hustling Olivia along. She got a bad feeling despite his assurances all is well. Olivia tries to break free, there is a tussle. Olivia knees Michelet right in groin. He goes down and Olivia runs off.
41. INT. THE LABORATORY – NIGHT
Back in the lab, O’Hara stands in his glass cell observed by Father Milzseski, stunned that O’Hara has not become a vampire despite his neck bite. O’Hara convinces Milzsewski to let him out. Milzsewski obliges only to have O’Hara use his vampire powers to release all the lab animals who then attack Milzsewski like a school of piranhas.
42. INT. CATACOMBS – LABYRINTH – NIGHT (FLAGGED)
Oliva’s on the run, Michelet gaining on her. She runs through a door only to enter a labyrinth, there is one way in and one way out. Michelet bides his time seeing Olivia has no way to escape. Olivia screams for Merchant, but there is no one down here to help her. Michelet chides Olivia about the purpose of a Labyrinth, when one reaches the end, there is salvation. Olivia reaches the end, recaptured by Cardinal Michelet and lead away.
43. INT. CATACOMBS – YOFIEL’S TEMPLE – NIGHT
Olivia is strung up between the pillars of the old pagan temple. The vampires surround her in an agitated state. He has fresh blood, a virgin atheist is almost too much for them. Yofiel calms them down, reminding them she is the trap for their enemy – Father Merchant.
44. INT. O’HARA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Inside O’Hara’s apartment, a small laboratory. O’Hara is working like mad on a vaccine of his own. Cardinal Michelet interrupts, checking on the projects status. O’Hara gives a short demonstration on a vampire. Success! His vaccine allows vampires to exist in the sunlight, as promised. Michelet turns the table, kicking O’Hara on to the balcony. The sunlight sizzles him into flame. Michelet tells the cured vampire to go to Yofiel and tell him the vaccine is on its way.
45. INT. COLLINI’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Collini doubts Merchant’s tale was real, chalking it up to hallucination properties of the vaccine. Merchant quotes what the Angel had told him. A remarkable coincidence, as one of Collins’s secret scrolls list the same quote. Merchant explores this scroll more deeply and come to a conclusion as to who the original vampire might be. Collini thinks the vaccine has made him mad. Merchant needs the Spear of Destiny to carry out his plan. Collini notes It’s a leap of faith that it even exists.
46. EXT. THE VATICAN STREETS – NIGHT (FLAGGED)
Collini and Merchant race through the street and alleyways of the Vatican on their way to see Captain Ossing. Along the path Merchant defends his position and Collini taking the opposing views. They are attacked by vampires and Captain Ossing (looking for me?) saves them.
47. INT. OSSING’S OFFICE
Le Nuygen is there. Volunteering his skills to the cause. Merchant, Ossing and Collini argue over the insane idea taking the Spear of Destiny. They only way to find out is to get permission for the Pope. Le will meet up with Cardinal Michelet and they will got see the Pope.
48. INT. VATICAN MUSEUM – NIGHT
Le Nguyễn and Cardinal Michelet are at odds over disturbing his Holiness at this hour over such an outrageous request. Nguyen lets on he thinks he knows about what Michelet is up to, triggering Michelet to attack Nguyen in the hall or armory leading to a bloody battle of medieval weapons. Nguyen comes out ontop, Michelet killed.
49. INT. THE LABORATORY – NIGHT
Merchant is showing Collini how the N1PH virus contains spears used to pierce the membrane of the cells it attacks, highly effective and highly unusual. Merchant is making his case that somehow the Spear of Destiny is linked to the original vampire. Nguyen enters, bloodied, with bad news, they are not going to get the spear and Michelet is a dead and a trader.
50. INT. OSSING’S OFFICE – NIGHT
Collini, Merchant and Nyguyen are all back at Assign’s office having a heated debate as to next steps. Merchant is passionate about saving Olivia and Ossing accuses him of mixed priorities. Captain Ossing’s answers his phone, a short conversation, then he arrests Merchant and Nguyen for the death of Cardinal Michelet. It’s too bad, because Ossing is pretty sure the spear is in the vault. Collini expresses his concern over vampires on the loose, Ossing assures him his men have the situation under control.
51. INT. VATICAN PRISON – NIGHT
Merchant and Le Nguyen have a heart to heart talk about their mutual feelings for Olivia solidifying there is a competition going on for her heart. Father Collini breaks the men free and seeks penance for his sin.
52. INT. THE VATICAN – VAULT CHAMBERS – NIGHT
Nguyen holds a dagger to the throat of the guard. Merchant and Collini follow them into a series of chambers finally ending at one that appears to nothing but a pool of inky black water. The guard literally walks on water (a walkway beneath his feet). Using a tuning fork, he dabs the water. The pool drains rapidly revealing a security vault at the bottom of the steps.
53. INT. VAULT – CONTINUOUS
The guards assists Merchant in locating the lock box containing the spear. Indeed there is a spear head in a wooden box engraved “INRI” They leave the vault space quickly as it refills with water. In a dash of humor the guard has Merchant sign for the item.
54. INT. THE GATE
The fraternity of men reach the gate of the vault chambers and turn right into a smoldering, crispy, Father O’Hara. O’Hara quickly kills off the guard sucks his blood rejuvenating his appearance and strengths. Father Collini takes action kicking his old friend Father O’Hara into the chamber pool. As soon O’Hara hits the holy water he melts away in a cloud steam and fire. The effect of the pools holy water on the vampire gives Le Nguyen an idea for a weapon.
55. INT. LAB – NIGHT – LATER
Merchant is busy taking a DNA sample off the Spear of Destiny and concocting a new vaccine.
56. INT. TEMPLE OF THE VAMPIRES – DAY
The vampires are in a frenzy. The time has come. Yofiel calls out the boy who O’Hara had cured for the sunlight exposure. He demonstrates using a sun ray the vampire boy will not get burned. Yofiel will use the blood of Olivia to inoculate the other vampires who feast on her after his gives her a shot. They will be free to roam and feed, day or night.
57. Merchant, Collini, and Nguyen arrive ready to do battle. Besides silver spears and crosses, they wear back pack holy water tanks outfitted with spray hoses. The battle ensues. The good guys making progresses until Yofiel is at Olivia’s side, ready to sacrifice her. Merchant stops him by calling him by his human name, Longinus the Centurion, causing Yofiel to stumble and the battle to pause. Merchant and Collini quickly try to exorcise Yofiel, while Nguyen goes on battles the vampires, he’s losing, nearly overtaken when Captain Ossing and his men show up to help.
Nguyen makes his way to Olivia, Merchant & Yofiel. In the battle to free Olivia one of the pillars holding her crashes down on Nguyen killing him, not before telling Olivia that he loves her.
Merchant is able to administer the new vaccine into Yofiel. He transforms from vampire to original being , a roman centurion, Longinus. However the other vampires to not follow his transformation. Collini surmises he must not be the one they seek.
Another vampire overtakes Collini and stabs him with the vaccine meant for Olivia. Like Tomislov, Collini skin turns to boils, he convulses, then burts into a torrent of gore. Merchant speaks in tongues quoting in ancient language a command for unclean spirits to obey him.
The ground cracks open, brilliant white light rays pierce the temple. A figure within the light, translucent, but visible. It is a vampire by appearance, one crowned with thorns. He floats nearer to them. His hands and feet pierced from nail wounds. No one can believe it.
The aberration settles in front of Merchant. His eyes beg for salvation. Merchant removes the Longinus Spear head from his pocket. Forcing his thumb nail into the ridge the spear head opens. An intricate hiding place for a carefully folded up parchment.
Merchant unfolds it. It is of the same size as the hole that was cut from Collini’s sacred scroll. The aberration recoils but does not look away. He offers the wafer to the aberrations mouth, who closes his eyes, takes and eats it. He then falls to his knees.
The other vampires become peaceful. Then transform back into their original human forms.
The aberration light rises up, breaking through the temple ceiling into the square above them.
58. EXT. SAINT PETER’S SQUARE – EASTER SUNDAY – DAWN
The square is jammed shoulder to shoulder with the faithful awaiting the Pope’s Easter blessing. The bricks begin to rumble beneath their feet. An Orb of Devine Light rises from the darkness of the chasm. Inside the orb, people see what they believe to be the familiar, yet translucent appearance of Christ the Savior. As the light passes over any one disabled or inflicted, they are healed.
59. EXT. THE POPE’S BALCONY – CONTINUOUS
The Orb makes one stop at the Pope balcony, The Pope cowers at at the unspoken message delivered then zooms off into the heavens with a crack of thunder.
60. INT. PEGAN TEMPLE – DAY
Yofiel/Longinus thanks Merchant for never have loosing faith in him. Longinis recounts the events of the crucifixion. Longinus wanted to save him. He had the scroll he saw the Sage use to save the slave. Being of bad eye sight he was not able to place a piece of the scroll in Jesus’s mouth, instead stabbing him ending his days on earth. Merchant completes the fable noting that the exact time Longinus infected him his soul went to heaven, only his boy remained becoming the a vampire while locked in the tomb for three days. What rose that Sunday was a transference of evil, covered over by tails of a resurrection.
61. EXT. SAINT PETER’S BASILICA – DAY
Merchant and Olivia stand at the top of the great basilica’s dome. They argue over if they should tell their tale or not. Merchant convinces her they never be believed, probably stones. It is best the masses go on believing what they have for centuries. Then they kiss.
62. INT. SENATE HEARING ROOM – DAY
The Senate Subcommittee is assembled to question Father Simon Merchant for his nomination to the position of Director of National Institute of Health, except he is not there. His witness chair is empty.
63. EXT. POTOMAC RIVER – DAWN
Merchant out on the Potomac rowing frantically, almost like he’s trying to out row something or someone chasing him. He frightened. He crashed his shell into the bridge pillar. Falling back he watches the skies part and calmness overtakes him.
64. INT. GEORGETOWN – VIROLOGY LABORATORY – NIGHT
Merchant back at the lab. Like we seen before. Olivia enters. She’s got a tray of snacks. Looking down the microscope we see cells come into focus. Above us, the other end of the microscope, the eye of Merchant. Then, the N1PH virus appears, attacking the cells like we seen before. The cell glass turns red with blood and carnage followed by the unmistakable scream of Father Simon Merchant.
END ACT THREE
REWRITE OF FLAGGED SCENES:
9. EXT. VATICAN CITY – GATE – DAY (FLAGGED)
The taxi zooms through the streets. A bat, out of no where, strikes the window. The driver temporarily looses control nearly crashing. Olivia comments that’s a bad omen. Merchant assures her that the worst of it. At the gate an agreement about allowing Olivia in. Antolini diplomatically arranges he’ll take her back to hotel. Olivia miffed Merchant did not stick up for her. Merchant doesn’t know what to make of her reaction.
11. INT. MUSEUM – DAY – LATER (FLAGGED)
Collini hustles Merchant quickly pass many treasured artworks, no time to enjoy them. Merchant stops at a painting of Longinus stabbing the crucified Christ. Merchant comments, Longinus was nearly blind. Collini, irritated, comments there’s a wonderful statue of Saint Longinus, Merchant can see when he’s done with his “work.” A point Merchant presses he know what the work is. They descending the spiral staircase down, down into darkness. ( I will this set later to payoff regarding the statue of Saint Linginus, in a new scene where Merchant seeks the Spear of Destiny)
27. INT/EXT. A COTTAGE – DAY (FLAGGED)
Merchant awakens, in a strange rustic cottage, calling out for Olivia. Confusion as to how he got here. Merchant smells something, then, panicked stricken, there’s a man sitting opposite him in the cottage. A Spanish looking man, wearing a tunic not seen for ages. To Merchant’s bewilderment, this individual looks just like Ignatius Loyola. The visitor introduces himself as such, and invites Merchant to join him on a walk.
42. INT. CATACOMBS – LABYRINTH – NIGHT (FLAGGED)
Olivia stumbles her way through the Labyrinth. She makes a turn, Merchant is there! She runs to hug him, except he dissolves away. Nothing but an illusion. She runs on. There stands Michelet. He’s real and annoyed. He reminds her a Labyrinth is designed for the traveler to reach salvation. She runs on reaching the end. There stands a tall, cloaked figure, yellow eyes, Yofiel awaits her.
46. EXT. THE VATICAN STREETS – NIGHT (FLAGGED)
Merchant and Collini have reached the rooftops above the streets. Collini slips on the tiles, Merchant catches him before he falls. A vampire awaits them. It attacks. Collini and Merchant run, Collini has an idea, he stops behind a stone cross. The vampire will not approach. Merchant sees an escape, the two slide down roof angles, falling onto the streets below unharmed. The vampire right behind them. Captain Ossing kills the vampire, (looking for me?)
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BEAT SHEET
2. I learned that I needed to establish two things about my protagonist. One more of an attachment by the audience, Another way to make them care about her. So I added number 2. I made her involved with animal rescue, no kill kennels for example.
5. The other was to establish her flaw more so I added number 5 to interject, explain more detail, the reason the flaw happened. Estrangement with her Father.
46. I wanted to put the protagonist into a ultimate decision. Bring back the life of her nemesis, the husband of her Grandmother whom she deeply cares about, but in order for her to do that she would have to sacrifice any future solace given by her Mother’s apparition.
LOGLINE: A woman who denies she possesses the dominant trait of a Norse goddess gets abducted by a Norse religious cult to be sacrificed. She discovers she must liberate the trait to prevent the end of the world.
Introduction Line:
ON SCREEN:
“The woman was given two wings of a great eagle, so that she might fly…out of the serpents reach”.
Revelations 12 : 14
1. EXT SACRIFICIAL ALTAR, HELEN <st1:state><st1:place>TEXAS</st1:place></st1:state> – NIGHT
Two women, Susan and Karin, are chained to a post on an altar platform. They pull back in fear at what grows before them.
ON SCREEN:
Two days earlier.
2. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> LARGE DINNING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> WITH STAGE – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Susan is a reluctant speaker at a animal rescue symposium.
3. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> INTERSECTION, <st1:place><st1:city>DALLAS</st1:city>, <st1:state>TEXAS</st1:state></st1:place> SUBURB – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
While stopped at a stop light Susan encounters an old woman, Anna, that is shocked to see her. Susan’s mind floods into scene of a young woman chained to a sacrificial altar. When jarred back to reality the woman has disappeared. She shakes it off as just an illusion.
4 .<st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> <st1:place><st1:placename>MASTERS</st1:placename> <st1:placename>STORE & GUN</st1:placename> <st1:placetype>RANGE</st1:placetype></st1:place>, <st1:place><st1:city>FT. WORTH</st1:city> <st1:state>TEXAS</st1:state></st1:place> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Sam and Jumper converse about his love interest Susan. Sam is contemplating a break up, but can’t go through with it. Jumper is curious why her Father is estranged. Sam draws a blank.
5. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> RESTAURANT IN <st1:city><st1:place>DALLAS</st1:place></st1:city> – NIGHT
At a restaurant later, Susan fills in Sam about what brought on the estrangement between her and her Dad.
6. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SUSAN’S HOME – NIGHT
Anna makes contact at Susan’s home. She is told that her deceased grandmother is alive in the secluded town of <st1:city><st1:place>Helen</st1:place></st1:city>, <st1:state><st1:place>Texas</st1:place></st1:state>. The leader of the town is going to sacrifice her in two days in an attempt to end the world and that she is the only one that possesses the power to stop it. After Anna turns to ash.
7. EXT HELEN, REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>SITE</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
Lord Lokan arrives and tells two elders that the revival has commenced. Karin and Erik agree to stay on the plan to escape.
8. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SUSAN’S HOME, KITCHEN – NIGHT
Sam and Susan have a discussion that turns heated when she denies what all has happened to her that day. She wants to forget it ever happened. Sam urges her to at least call her Dad for some perspective. She is reluctant.
9. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SUSAN’S BEDROOM – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Susan’s Mother appears as an apparition in the dresser mirror. Susan refuses at first to get involved with such foolishness. Her Mother implores her to go to her Father for his guidance. Susan’s reluctance is thwarted when a locket appears on the dresser, the locket that Susan put in her Mother’s casket.
10. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place>, <st1:stockticker>MAIN</st1:stockticker> <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Lord Lokan and Erik’s Father discuss Erik’s motivation for wanting to be the one to kidnap Susan. Erik enters the room and receives his orders. He is reminded that the Blessing, (victim), must enter the town of her own free will. He is informed that if he fails his wife Karin will be sacrificed. She will be held in the blessing room until he returns.
11. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SUSAN”S SUV – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
On her way to see her Father Susan has a flashback of the time when her Father tried to tell her about the trait she harbors inside her.
<st1:street><st1:address>12. EXT HIGHWAY</st1:address></st1:street> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
An exit sign appears on the highway denoting Arlene. Susan’s SUV signals for the exit.
END OF ACT <st1:stockticker>ONE</st1:stockticker>:
ACT TWO:
13. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SUSAN’S SUV – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Sam is on the phone surprised to hear that she is driving to see her Dad. After, she runs into a terrible storm with lightning and hail. Her SUV is thrown into a guardrail and she stops. She sees and then drives to the safety of an underpass.
14. EXT SUSAN’S SUV – NIGHT
Erik meets Susan and persuades her to drive him to his town where there is a phone and his Dad can fix her vehicle. She is reluctant until her Mother’s voice encourages her to trust that which is within.
15. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place> UPSTAIRS HALLWAY ? BLEESING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
Lord Lokan attempts a romantic move on Karin, but is interrupted by an Elder Nygaard.
16. <st1:street><st1:address>EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street>, ENTRANCE TO HELEN – NIGHT
Susan is shocked to see that she is now in the town of <st1:city><st1:place>Helen</st1:place></st1:city>. She is subdued and meets Lord Lokan who she thinks she recognizes, but doesn’t know from where.
She’s taken to the revival site where she witnesses the sacrifice of a young woman. It’s the vision she had from Anna. Lord Lokan informs her take the next night she will be the sacrifice.
Lord Lokan feels that there will be an attempt to rescue Susan and directs that the trap at the bridge be set.
17. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> PROFESSOR OWEN WAYTHILL’S DEN – NIGHT.
Owen tells Sam in a phone conversation that Susan never arrived. Owen is vague when Sam ask for details of what he knows after Sam mention’s the town of <st1:city><st1:place>Helen</st1:place></st1:city>. He tells Owen he’s driving there tonight.
18. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SAMS TRUCK -NIGHT
Jumper has to physically subdue Sam to get him to slow the truck down.
19. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>MASTERS</st1:placename> <st1:placename>STORE & GUN</st1:placename> <st1:placetype>RANGE</st1:placetype></st1:place>, <st1:place><st1:city>FT. WORTH</st1:city> <st1:state>TEXAS</st1:state></st1:place> – NIGHT
Sam and Jumper stop at the store for supplies. Before leaving Sam opens his desk drawer and pockets the three coins.
20. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> PROFESSOR OWEN WAYTHILL’S DEN – NIGHT.
Owen explains things. He is shocked when he sees the coins. There were only rumors that they ever existed. Owen shows them first half of the Seidr Text. It cover only the history of the Seidr. The second half tells how to harness the power. No one knows where the second half is.
21. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> ERIK <st1:stockticker>AND</st1:stockticker> KARIN NYGAARD’S CABIN – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Karin tells Erik she’s afraid about what became of Anna. Also that feeling of some part of her is missing is getting stronger.
22. <st1:street><st1:address>EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> ENTRANCE – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
The trio meet Sheriff Justin Earlee. Sam exposes a gate behind some brush. The sheriff explains that the woods cover the road and prevent any entrance.
A deputy stops by with three bagged items they found at the overpass where they found Erik’s old broken down SUV. The items are clues that Susan was taken in the woods.
Sam refuses to accept that the woods are inaccessible. He’s going to find away in.
23. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place>, <st1:stockticker>MAIN</st1:stockticker> <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Lord Lokan and Elder Nygaard inform Erik that his wife is guilty of heresy and will be sacrificed with the blessing that night. Lord Lokan directs that Karin be held in the Blessing room with Susan. He further direct Erik that he is not to see his wife again without Lord Lokan’s permission.
24. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place>, BLESSING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Karin is pushed into the room with Susan. After an awkwardness they talk. Karin tells what she can about the town. One thing is that no one grows older. Susan discovers that Karin is her Grandmother, but doesn’t tell her.
Susan hears a rotor noise and looks out the window. A helicopter is flying over the town.
25. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> HELICOPTER COCKPIT – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Sam is the passenger. He directs the pilot to fly over the town and to the revival site. When the pilot attempts to get lower a violent turbulence takes over. The pilot regains control. They circle the town and fly off.
26. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> PROFESSOR OWEN WAYTHILL’S LIVING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Professor Waythill and Jumper are at the table. Jumper goes to use the restroom.
Two men break in and take the professor. Jumper tries to stop them and he’s knocked out.
27. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place>, BLESSING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Susan smashes the barred window with the big chair in the room trying to get the coppers attention.
Lord Lokan sees this and comes to the room with his entourage.
During the confrontation Susan suddenly, realizes who Lord Lokan is. Time stops. Susan’s Mother tells her that now is the time to trust the being inside. It will rise in her when she releases all human emotion.
Time starts again and Susan gains a confidence she hasn’t felt before. She recognizes him as Loki.
She knows his plan. She has seen his one son The Serpent Jormungand, but ask where his other son The Wolf Fenrir is located. Lord Lokan acknowledges her. He tells her this time his attempts to raise his daughter Hel from the dark world will not be thwarted by her or her Dad. She will perish and so will her Father. She ask for the meaning of that and he laughs as he exits the room.
Elder Nygaard, at Lord Lokan’s direction attempts to secure Susan and Karin to the beds. Susan fights him off and kills him. She tells Karin that she’ll be back. Susan now knows that her mission is to stop Loki instead of escaping with Karin.
28. <st1:place><st1:placename>EXT</st1:placename> <st1:placename>REVIVAL</st1:placename> <st1:placename><st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placetype>BRIDGE</st1:placetype></st1:place> – NIGHT
The bridge trap is set by Legion Ladnar and Elder Kliest.
<st1:street><st1:address>29. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Sam finds the entrance opened. He parks his truck past the entrance. He dons his equipment; guns, helmet light and night goggles and walks down the road. He comes upon a trail and decides to take it.
30. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> HELEN CHAPEL – NIGHT
Susan gets caught hiding in the chapel.
<st1:street><st1:address>31. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Sheriff Earlee arrives and decides to drive into Helen on the road.
32. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> CAVERN BENEATH THE TOWN OF <st1:city><st1:place>HELEN</st1:place></st1:city> – NIGHT
Susan is chained to the wall of the cavern. Lord Lokan enters. He shows her who else he has chained to the farthest wall. It’s her Dad.
<st1:street><st1:address>33. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> BRIDGE – NIGHT
Sheriff Earlee’s squad stalls on the bridge. A giant wolf comes out of the woods and attacks. It kills Sheriff Earlee and carries him off in his jowls. The bridge devours the squad car.
34. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> PROFESSOR OWEN WAYTHILL’S LIVING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
M.J. awakens Jumper. He leaves the house taking M.J. with him.
<st1:street><st1:address>35. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street>, HELEN – NIGHT
Karin is strapped a post on a wagon. The procession starts to the revival site. It stops when two shots echo through the town. Lord Lokan finds that the two that set the trap did not stay to witness the bridge trap stop the intruder. They’re directed to go back with guns and eliminate whoever they find.
36. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>SITE</st1:stockticker> PLATFORM ALTAR – NIGHT
Karin is chained to a post. Lord Lokan directs that the others be brought there.
37. <st1:street><st1:address>EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street>, HELEN – NIGHT
Sam engages to two sent by Lord Lokan in a gun fight. One is killed and soon turns to ash. The other, Legion Ladnar, is wounded in the shoulder. Sam threatens him to say where Susan is located.
Erik, who was sent to get the Seidr book meets Sam. Erik knows where Susan is located.
38. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> CAVERN BENEATH THE TOWN OF <st1:city><st1:place>HELEN</st1:place></st1:city> – NIGHT
Owen wakens and Susan engages him verbally. She tells him all that’s happened and what’s going to happen.
<st1:street><st1:address>39. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Jumper arrives at the entrance in the professors car. With M. J. he inspects Sam’s truck. The gate suddenly closes the road starts to fill with water. Jumper gets the hide a key, gets in the truck and drives.
40. EXT CAVERN ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Sam and Erik ambush and overpower the guards as they escort Susan and her Dad out of the cavern
Susan tells Sam that Erik is her kidnapper.
Erik explains his plan for him and Karin to escape. It was necessary to do it. Erik pleads for forgiveness.
Susan rejects his plea and has Sam tie him up. Sam takes the guards and Erik into the cave.
41. EXT CLEAR BEHIND THE REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>SITE</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
They are suddenly surrounded by Elders and Lord Lokan.
END OF ACT TWO:
ACT THREE:
42 EXT. REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>SITE</st1:stockticker>, PLATFORM ALTAR – NIGHT
All four are chained to the post. The men on one the women the other. Lord Lokan boast at his accomplishments. Erik suddenly appears on the platform. He tells Lord Lokan that they tortured him and made of with the testament. When Lord Lokan points to the altar with the testament Erik attacks him. Lord Lokan kills him and sends him flying off the platform.
Lord Lokan begins the sacrifice.
The tree comes alive with loud rhythmic beats. The huge serpent rises from the middle of the tree. Two of the largest limbs become arms with talons.
The chains clink and remind Sam of something. He tells Owen that he has the coins in his inner pocket. Owen retrieves them. He aligns them in his hand and point at Susan.
The serpent freezes and Lord Lokan is sucked flat to the floor.
A wind in circles Susan who grows wings and manifest into Erindiss, daughter of Odin, She grows larger and soars away from the altar. Sam gets Karin and Owen off the platform.
Arindis destroys the platform with Lord Lokan and the serpent with fire arrows that explode on contact.
After the battle she flies off behind the tree.
43 EXT. REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>SITE</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
Villagers run from the town to where Sam and Owen are stand. Fenrir the wolf makes an appearance at the top of <st1:street><st1:address>Revival Road</st1:address></st1:street>. Body parts hang from its jowls.
Owen knows what to do. With the three coins he manifest himself into Odin. They charge each other and battle on the road. The hole in the earth gets larger to the side of the road.
44 EXT. TOP OF <st1:street><st1:address>REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> – NIGHT
Sam’s truck stops at the top of the road.
<st1:street><st1:address>45 EXT. REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> – NIGHT
Odin sinks his sword into Fenrir’s snout. Fenrir raises onto its hind legs. Sam’s truck smashes into the hind legs sending the combatants over the hole’s edge. Sam finds Owen holding onto the sword that is stabbed in the side of thee hole. Sam tries to help, but Owen won’t release the sword.
46 EXT. BARREN <st1:stockticker>AREA</st1:stockticker> BEHIND THE <st1:stockticker>TREE</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
Karin hold’s Erik’s head in his lap. She looks up to Erindiss with a tear soaked face. Erindiss is saddened.
Her Mother’s voice tells her that she can replace her life for his, but for this she will no longer be able to communicate with her. It is Erindiss’s decision. After a long internal inspection she agrees. Erik’s life is renewed.
47 EXT. <st1:stockticker>SIDE</st1:stockticker> WALL OF HOLE – NIGHT
The hole is closing. Sam pleads with Owen to take his hand. The wall shakes and he loses his grip he starts to fall into the fiery bottom. Erindiss flies into the hole and catches Owen. They retrieve the sword. She lands the safely them on the road.
Sam goes to his truck and finds Jumper holding onto M.J. The cat is find, but Jumper is busted up.
48 EXT. <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker> IN FRONT OF THE <st1:place><st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
There are emergency vehicles and a school bus park on the road. Susan and her Father reconcile. Then Susan introduces Karin to her Father.
They understand and embrace. Karin exclaims that this was the missing feeling in her and is now gone.
49 <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker>. SCHOOL BUS – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
The passengers are silent. Focus goes to the rear seat where Legion Ladnar sits with his arm in a sling. His eyes suddenly turn to resemble Lord Lokan’s for a quick moment. He smiles.
50 <st1:place><st1:placename>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Susan’s SUV is the last vehicle to leave. A raven lands on the <st1:place>Inn</st1:place>’s roof apex. It caws once then flies away.
THE END
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Hi Randall. It looks like you are copying and pasting right out of your screenplay software. I was just getting ready to do the same thing. So far in this course I have been using MS Word which seems to work ok. I am using Movie Magic Screenwriter and not sure how that will translate. What are you using?
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I am using word. Its a very old version though. Thanx for writing.
Randall
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BEAT SHEET: <st1:street><st1:address>REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street>
2. I learned that I needed to establish two things about my protagonist. One more of an attachment by the audience, Another way to make them care about her. So I added number 2. I made her involved with animal rescue, no kill kennels for example.
5. The other was to establish her flaw more so I added number 5 to interject, explain more detail, the reason the flaw happened. Estrangement with her Father.
46. I wanted to put the protagonist into a ultimate decision. Bring back the life of her nemesis, the husband of her Grandmother whom she deeply cares about, but in order for her to do that she would have to sacrifice any future solace given by her Mother’s apparition.
LOGLINE: A woman who denies she possesses the dominant trait of a Norse goddess gets abducted by a Norse religious cult to be sacrificed. She discovers she must liberate the trait to prevent the end of the world.
Introduction Line:
ON SCREEN:
“The woman was given two wings of a great eagle, so that she might fly…out of the serpents reach”.
Revelations 12 : 14
1. EXT SACRIFICIAL ALTAR, HELEN <st1:state><st1:place>TEXAS</st1:place></st1:state> – NIGHT
Two women, Susan and Karin, are chained to a post on an altar platform. They pull back in fear at what grows before them.
ON SCREEN:
Two days earlier.
2. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> LARGE DINNING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> WITH STAGE – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Susan is a reluctant speaker at a animal rescue symposium.
3. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> INTERSECTION, <st1:place><st1:city>DALLAS</st1:city>, <st1:state>TEXAS</st1:state></st1:place> SUBURB – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
While stopped at a stop light Susan encounters an old woman, Anna, that is shocked to see her. Susan’s mind floods into scene of a young woman chained to a sacrificial altar. When jarred back to reality the woman has disappeared. She shakes it off as just an illusion.
4 .<st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> <st1:place><st1:placename>MASTERS</st1:placename> <st1:placename>STORE & GUN</st1:placename> <st1:placetype>RANGE</st1:placetype></st1:place>, <st1:place><st1:city>FT. WORTH</st1:city> <st1:state>TEXAS</st1:state></st1:place> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Sam and Jumper converse about his love interest Susan. Sam is contemplating a break up, but can’t go through with it. Jumper is curious why her Father is estranged. Sam draws a blank.
5. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> RESTAURANT IN <st1:city><st1:place>DALLAS</st1:place></st1:city> – NIGHT
At a restaurant later, Susan fills in Sam about what brought on the estrangement between her and her Dad.
6. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SUSAN’S HOME – NIGHT
Anna makes contact at Susan’s home. She is told that her deceased grandmother is alive in the secluded town of <st1:city><st1:place>Helen</st1:place></st1:city>, <st1:state><st1:place>Texas</st1:place></st1:state>. The leader of the town is going to sacrifice her in two days in an attempt to end the world and that she is the only one that possesses the power to stop it. After Anna turns to ash.
7. EXT HELEN, REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>SITE</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
Lord Lokan arrives and tells two elders that the revival has commenced. Karin and Erik agree to stay on the plan to escape.
8. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SUSAN’S HOME, KITCHEN – NIGHT
Sam and Susan have a discussion that turns heated when she denies what all has happened to her that day. She wants to forget it ever happened. Sam urges her to at least call her Dad for some perspective. She is reluctant.
9. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SUSAN’S BEDROOM – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Susan’s Mother appears as an apparition in the dresser mirror. Susan refuses at first to get involved with such foolishness. Her Mother implores her to go to her Father for his guidance. Susan’s reluctance is thwarted when a locket appears on the dresser, the locket that Susan put in her Mother’s casket.
10. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place>, <st1:stockticker>MAIN</st1:stockticker> <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Lord Lokan and Erik’s Father discuss Erik’s motivation for wanting to be the one to kidnap Susan. Erik enters the room and receives his orders. He is reminded that the Blessing, (victim), must enter the town of her own free will. He is informed that if he fails his wife Karin will be sacrificed. She will be held in the blessing room until he returns.
11. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SUSAN”S SUV – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
On her way to see her Father Susan has a flashback of the time when her Father tried to tell her about the trait she harbors inside her.
<st1:street><st1:address>12. EXT HIGHWAY</st1:address></st1:street> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
An exit sign appears on the highway denoting Arlene. Susan’s SUV signals for the exit.
END OF ACT <st1:stockticker>ONE</st1:stockticker>:
ACT TWO:
13. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SUSAN’S SUV – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Sam is on the phone surprised to hear that she is driving to see her Dad. After, she runs into a terrible storm with lightning and hail. Her SUV is thrown into a guardrail and she stops. She sees and then drives to the safety of an underpass.
14. EXT SUSAN’S SUV – NIGHT
Erik meets Susan and persuades her to drive him to his town where there is a phone and his Dad can fix her vehicle. She is reluctant until her Mother’s voice encourages her to trust that which is within.
15. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place> UPSTAIRS HALLWAY ? BLEESING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
Lord Lokan attempts a romantic move on Karin, but is interrupted by an Elder Nygaard.
16. <st1:street><st1:address>EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street>, ENTRANCE TO HELEN – NIGHT
Susan is shocked to see that she is now in the town of <st1:city><st1:place>Helen</st1:place></st1:city>. She is subdued and meets Lord Lokan who she thinks she recognizes, but doesn’t know from where.
She’s taken to the revival site where she witnesses the sacrifice of a young woman. It’s the vision she had from Anna. Lord Lokan informs her take the next night she will be the sacrifice.
Lord Lokan feels that there will be an attempt to rescue Susan and directs that the trap at the bridge be set.
17. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> PROFESSOR OWEN WAYTHILL’S DEN – NIGHT.
Owen tells Sam in a phone conversation that Susan never arrived. Owen is vague when Sam ask for details of what he knows after Sam mention’s the town of <st1:city><st1:place>Helen</st1:place></st1:city>. He tells Owen he’s driving there tonight.
18. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> SAMS TRUCK -NIGHT
Jumper has to physically subdue Sam to get him to slow the truck down.
19. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>MASTERS</st1:placename> <st1:placename>STORE & GUN</st1:placename> <st1:placetype>RANGE</st1:placetype></st1:place>, <st1:place><st1:city>FT. WORTH</st1:city> <st1:state>TEXAS</st1:state></st1:place> – NIGHT
Sam and Jumper stop at the store for supplies. Before leaving Sam opens his desk drawer and pockets the three coins.
20. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> PROFESSOR OWEN WAYTHILL’S DEN – NIGHT.
Owen explains things. He is shocked when he sees the coins. There were only rumors that they ever existed. Owen shows them first half of the Seidr Text. It cover only the history of the Seidr. The second half tells how to harness the power. No one knows where the second half is.
21. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> ERIK <st1:stockticker>AND</st1:stockticker> KARIN NYGAARD’S CABIN – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Karin tells Erik she’s afraid about what became of Anna. Also that feeling of some part of her is missing is getting stronger.
22. <st1:street><st1:address>EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> ENTRANCE – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
The trio meet Sheriff Justin Earlee. Sam exposes a gate behind some brush. The sheriff explains that the woods cover the road and prevent any entrance.
A deputy stops by with three bagged items they found at the overpass where they found Erik’s old broken down SUV. The items are clues that Susan was taken in the woods.
Sam refuses to accept that the woods are inaccessible. He’s going to find away in.
23. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place>, <st1:stockticker>MAIN</st1:stockticker> <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Lord Lokan and Elder Nygaard inform Erik that his wife is guilty of heresy and will be sacrificed with the blessing that night. Lord Lokan directs that Karin be held in the Blessing room with Susan. He further direct Erik that he is not to see his wife again without Lord Lokan’s permission.
24. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place>, BLESSING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Karin is pushed into the room with Susan. After an awkwardness they talk. Karin tells what she can about the town. One thing is that no one grows older. Susan discovers that Karin is her Grandmother, but doesn’t tell her.
Susan hears a rotor noise and looks out the window. A helicopter is flying over the town.
25. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> HELICOPTER COCKPIT – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Sam is the passenger. He directs the pilot to fly over the town and to the revival site. When the pilot attempts to get lower a violent turbulence takes over. The pilot regains control. They circle the town and fly off.
26. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> PROFESSOR OWEN WAYTHILL’S LIVING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Professor Waythill and Jumper are at the table. Jumper goes to use the restroom.
Two men break in and take the professor. Jumper tries to stop them and he’s knocked out.
27. <st1:place><st1:placename><st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place>, BLESSING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Susan smashes the barred window with the big chair in the room trying to get the coppers attention.
Lord Lokan sees this and comes to the room with his entourage.
During the confrontation Susan suddenly, realizes who Lord Lokan is. Time stops. Susan’s Mother tells her that now is the time to trust the being inside. It will rise in her when she releases all human emotion.
Time starts again and Susan gains a confidence she hasn’t felt before. She recognizes him as Loki.
She knows his plan. She has seen his one son The Serpent Jormungand, but ask where his other son The Wolf Fenrir is located. Lord Lokan acknowledges her. He tells her this time his attempts to raise his daughter Hel from the dark world will not be thwarted by her or her Dad. She will perish and so will her Father. She ask for the meaning of that and he laughs as he exits the room.
Elder Nygaard, at Lord Lokan’s direction attempts to secure Susan and Karin to the beds. Susan fights him off and kills him. She tells Karin that she’ll be back. Susan now knows that her mission is to stop Loki instead of escaping with Karin.
28. <st1:place><st1:placename>EXT</st1:placename> <st1:placename>REVIVAL</st1:placename> <st1:placename><st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:placename> <st1:placetype>BRIDGE</st1:placetype></st1:place> – NIGHT
The bridge trap is set by Legion Ladnar and Elder Kliest.
<st1:street><st1:address>29. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Sam finds the entrance opened. He parks his truck past the entrance. He dons his equipment; guns, helmet light and night goggles and walks down the road. He comes upon a trail and decides to take it.
30. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> HELEN CHAPEL – NIGHT
Susan gets caught hiding in the chapel.
<st1:street><st1:address>31. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Sheriff Earlee arrives and decides to drive into Helen on the road.
32. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> CAVERN BENEATH THE TOWN OF <st1:city><st1:place>HELEN</st1:place></st1:city> – NIGHT
Susan is chained to the wall of the cavern. Lord Lokan enters. He shows her who else he has chained to the farthest wall. It’s her Dad.
<st1:street><st1:address>33. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> BRIDGE – NIGHT
Sheriff Earlee’s squad stalls on the bridge. A giant wolf comes out of the woods and attacks. It kills Sheriff Earlee and carries him off in his jowls. The bridge devours the squad car.
34. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> PROFESSOR OWEN WAYTHILL’S LIVING <st1:stockticker>ROOM</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
M.J. awakens Jumper. He leaves the house taking M.J. with him.
<st1:street><st1:address>35. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street>, HELEN – NIGHT
Karin is strapped a post on a wagon. The procession starts to the revival site. It stops when two shots echo through the town. Lord Lokan finds that the two that set the trap did not stay to witness the bridge trap stop the intruder. They’re directed to go back with guns and eliminate whoever they find.
36. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>SITE</st1:stockticker> PLATFORM ALTAR – NIGHT
Karin is chained to a post. Lord Lokan directs that the others be brought there.
37. <st1:street><st1:address>EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street>, HELEN – NIGHT
Sam engages to two sent by Lord Lokan in a gun fight. One is killed and soon turns to ash. The other, Legion Ladnar, is wounded in the shoulder. Sam threatens him to say where Susan is located.
Erik, who was sent to get the Seidr book meets Sam. Erik knows where Susan is located.
38. <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker> CAVERN BENEATH THE TOWN OF <st1:city><st1:place>HELEN</st1:place></st1:city> – NIGHT
Owen wakens and Susan engages him verbally. She tells him all that’s happened and what’s going to happen.
<st1:street><st1:address>39. EXT REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Jumper arrives at the entrance in the professors car. With M. J. he inspects Sam’s truck. The gate suddenly closes the road starts to fill with water. Jumper gets the hide a key, gets in the truck and drives.
40. EXT CAVERN ENTRANCE – NIGHT
Sam and Erik ambush and overpower the guards as they escort Susan and her Dad out of the cavern
Susan tells Sam that Erik is her kidnapper.
Erik explains his plan for him and Karin to escape. It was necessary to do it. Erik pleads for forgiveness.
Susan rejects his plea and has Sam tie him up. Sam takes the guards and Erik into the cave.
41. EXT CLEAR BEHIND THE REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>SITE</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
They are suddenly surrounded by Elders and Lord Lokan.
END OF ACT TWO:
ACT THREE:
42 EXT. REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>SITE</st1:stockticker>, PLATFORM ALTAR – NIGHT
All four are chained to the post. The men on one the women the other. Lord Lokan boast at his accomplishments. Erik suddenly appears on the platform. He tells Lord Lokan that they tortured him and made of with the testament. When Lord Lokan points to the altar with the testament Erik attacks him. Lord Lokan kills him and sends him flying off the platform.
Lord Lokan begins the sacrifice.
The tree comes alive with loud rhythmic beats. The huge serpent rises from the middle of the tree. Two of the largest limbs become arms with talons.
The chains clink and remind Sam of something. He tells Owen that he has the coins in his inner pocket. Owen retrieves them. He aligns them in his hand and point at Susan.
The serpent freezes and Lord Lokan is sucked flat to the floor.
A wind in circles Susan who grows wings and manifest into Erindiss, daughter of Odin, She grows larger and soars away from the altar. Sam gets Karin and Owen off the platform.
Arindis destroys the platform with Lord Lokan and the serpent with fire arrows that explode on contact.
After the battle she flies off behind the tree.
43 EXT. REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>SITE</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
Villagers run from the town to where Sam and Owen are stand. Fenrir the wolf makes an appearance at the top of <st1:street><st1:address>Revival Road</st1:address></st1:street>. Body parts hang from its jowls.
Owen knows what to do. With the three coins he manifest himself into Odin. They charge each other and battle on the road. The hole in the earth gets larger to the side of the road.
44 EXT. TOP OF <st1:street><st1:address>REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> – NIGHT
Sam’s truck stops at the top of the road.
<st1:street><st1:address>45 EXT. REVIVAL <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker></st1:address></st1:street> – NIGHT
Odin sinks his sword into Fenrir’s snout. Fenrir raises onto its hind legs. Sam’s truck smashes into the hind legs sending the combatants over the hole’s edge. Sam finds Owen holding onto the sword that is stabbed in the side of thee hole. Sam tries to help, but Owen won’t release the sword.
46 EXT. BARREN <st1:stockticker>AREA</st1:stockticker> BEHIND THE <st1:stockticker>TREE</st1:stockticker> – NIGHT
Karin hold’s Erik’s head in his lap. She looks up to Erindiss with a tear soaked face. Erindiss is saddened.
Her Mother’s voice tells her that she can replace her life for his, but for this she will no longer be able to communicate with her. It is Erindiss’s decision. After a long internal inspection she agrees. Erik’s life is renewed.
47 EXT. <st1:stockticker>SIDE</st1:stockticker> WALL OF HOLE – NIGHT
The hole is closing. Sam pleads with Owen to take his hand. The wall shakes and he loses his grip he starts to fall into the fiery bottom. Erindiss flies into the hole and catches Owen. They retrieve the sword. She lands the safely them on the road.
Sam goes to his truck and finds Jumper holding onto M.J. The cat is find, but Jumper is busted up.
48 EXT. <st1:stockticker>ROAD</st1:stockticker> IN FRONT OF THE <st1:place><st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
There are emergency vehicles and a school bus park on the road. Susan and her Father reconcile. Then Susan introduces Karin to her Father.
They understand and embrace. Karin exclaims that this was the missing feeling in her and is now gone.
49 <st1:stockticker>INT</st1:stockticker>. SCHOOL BUS – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
The passengers are silent. Focus goes to the rear seat where Legion Ladnar sits with his arm in a sling. His eyes suddenly turn to resemble Lord Lokan’s for a quick moment. He smiles.
50 <st1:place><st1:placename>EXT.</st1:placename> <st1:placename>HELEN</st1:placename> <st1:placename>INN</st1:placename></st1:place> – <st1:stockticker>DAY</st1:stockticker>
Susan’s SUV is the last vehicle to leave. A raven lands on the <st1:place>Inn</st1:place>’s roof apex. It caws once then flies away.
THE END
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I don’t know what happens when I post my work. I’m doing something wrong I guess. My work is posted with all these <> breaks. If you can please tell me how the fix this.
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Randall, I found this info (link below) which might correct the issue. Hopefully it works, and takes away those distractions from your good writing.
https://articlebin.michaelmilette.com/productivity-tip-copy-and-paste-without-junk/
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Thank you Ed. I’ll try to do this.
Randal1
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Im guessing you are copy and pasting out of a screenwriting program. You might try coping it all to a Word file and copy from that to post. Just a hunch…
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I’m using word but it’s an old version.
Randall
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WIL: I should have started a whole new story for this class. I have some 60 some pages already in screenplay format (Movie Magic Screenwriter Pro) (from Pro78). I think I can put the beats in a NOTE for each scene to reference and keep, then not print out on the printed drafts. It would have been much better to start from scratch and build along with the development of the structure. Havin a story already flushed out will be like putting a new skeleton in a body. Challenge accepted!
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WIL: The last few weeks have made me take a very serious look at the flow of this story. I abandoned the 60 page script already written along with some 20 pages of notes of the past six months… I just took the act list from the last lesson and winged it filling in what I remember was the core of the story. This process has revealed several new incidents to create mystery, intrigue, and suspense.
I also abandoned the scene numbering as I was changing the order of previous scenes around a lot.
I asked a friend who has written many big hits in the music biz if when he wakes up in the middle of the night with a great idea, does he write it down. He said, “nope if it was good, I will remember in the morning.”
I change character names to have a symbol to make it easier to remember. I’d be curious if you find it easier.
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LOGLINE: Single mother Victoria (Victory in Latin) is caught in the middle of her ex-husband, Sheriff Mike* who seems to killing off his kidnapping suspects while her new billionaire/defense attorney boyfriend $Bob$ appears to be the kidnapping ring leader. Her daughter disappears.
ACT I:
INTRO
EXT. PICKUP TRUCK – NIGHT
SKINHEAD THUG gets slashed with a long knife. A voice says: Where are they?” Thug curses. A ziptie gets tightened around the thugs neck. “Wrong answer.”
EXT. CRIME SCENE – DAY
VICTORIA and her ex, SHERIFF MIKE* investigate a crime scene. We find they have a daughter, and he can’t pay the mortgage.
Mike* has a long knife strapped to his belt. Victoria senses that her ex-husband, Sheriff Mike* is killing off his kidnapping suspects by making is seem like a serial killer.
INCITING INCEDENT
EXT. BEACH – DAY
A confrontation between Sheriff Mike* and boyfriend $Bob$ reveals they are at extreme odds with each other. $BOB$ shows Victoria he is the better man in all ways including behaving in front of Mike* and Victoria’s daughter. Mike* and Bob$ make subtext hints accusing the other of killing off suspects.
EXT. SERIES OF SCENES – SUNSET
$Bob$, Victoria’s new billionaire boyfriend/defense attorney $Bob$ is shows her a life she never dreamed of. Limo, helicopter, dinner on a yacht, chase the sunset in a private jet. (my normal first date)
INT. MIKE’S OFFICE – DAY
$Bob$ enters Mike’*s office and tries to get Mike* to join forces. $Bob$ is an inherited, criminal defense attorney with lots of clients of nasty reputation. Bob wants to create his own legacy, one his late father will be proud of. He offers to give Mike insider secrets to help rid the kidnapping ring. Mike’s intuition rejects Bob.
INT. MAYORS OFFICE – DAY
Mike* and MAYOR show their long-term friendship.
EXT. CRIME SCENE – DAY
Victoria and Mike* investigate another Zip-Tie killing. Mike tries to impress her of his sluth-li-ness by describing in detail how this killing was a copycat killing who is right-handed and why the real killer is left-handed. Victoria comments: “You are left-handed.”
INT. MIKES CONDO – NIGHT
News reports suggests Mike may be killing off his suspects. Also report on local human trafficking ring is hitting record numbers.
INT. MIKES OFFICE – DAY
Victoria accuses Mike* of kidnapping their daughter.
ACT II
INT. BAR – NIGHT
$Bob$ blackmails Mayor to turn to join his sex-club of young girls. Mayor tells Bob they should take over the human-trafficking ring going on the whole time. “Go big.”
Mayor: “what do we do about Mike*?”
INT. VICTORIAS CAR – NIGHT
Both Mike* and $Bob$ make very convincing arguments the other took her daughter. Her car is let into a tall condo project by a private security guard who smiles.
INT. BOBS CONDO – NIGHT
Victoria finds evidence in a briefcase left on $Bob$’s table he is involved with the kidnapping ring. She steels the briefcase and escapes while Bob is in the shower.
INT. MIKES OFFICE MORNING Victoria gives the briefcase to Mike*
INT. MAYORS OFFICE – CONTINUED
Mike gives it to his long-time friend the town MAYOR. Mike exits.
Mayor calls $Bob$: “we need to go NOW.”
ACT II FIRST TURNING POINT
INT. VICTORIA’S CAR – DAY
$Bob$ charms Victoria into believing he is only trying to reveal the actions of the kidnapping ring. His arguments are very believable convincing the audience he is being righteous. “Why do you think the gate-guard let you out?”
Victoria, still confused, realizes she must manipulate both Mike* and $Bob$ and enlist some muscle from the Mexican Gangsters.
INT. BOBS CAR -CONTINUED
We see $Bob$ directly involved with the kidnappers as he is talking with Victoria on the phone.
ACT II MIDPOINT
INT. MIKES APARTMENT NIGHT
Sheriff Mike* is arrested for both the kidnapping ringleader as well as trying to kill off competition via serial killing.
Victoria is frantic as now her main source of saving her daughter is on the run without the sheriff offices’ resources. She finds Mike is dying of cancer.
Mike* fades away into the safety of the Mexican Gangsters’ hotel thinking he is being held as a prisoner.
ACT II 2<sup>ND</sup> TURNING POINT
INT. MIKES OFFICE – DAY
Mayor, $Bob$ and his right-hand man Deputy Dave peruse Mike’s office looking for clues. Mayor touches a military award on the wall, “what is this for?’ Deputy Dave, closing the window says, “Mike was a sniper.” A bullet goes through his head.
INT. VICTORIA’S MANSION – NIGHT
Victoria finds a vault in the basement. She finds an arsenal big enough for a small army.
EXT. MEXICAN GANSTER HOTEL – MORNING
Gangsters load up heavy arms onto trucks and pass around small weapons (apparently from Victoria’s basement.)
INT. BOB’S CAR – MORNING
Bob gets a call that Mike is going to a certain coffee shop.
INT. COFFEE SHOP – MORNING
Mike goes into coffee shop – sees Bob. He goes directly to the bathroom in the back. He sees THUGS outside the back door. He returns and sits down. Bob makes another plea to get Mike to work with him, especially since is already a bad guy on the run. He asks Mike how he knew the deputy would be closing the window.
Mike: “I was hoping it would be you who closed the window.”
Bob pulls a pistol out from under his newspaper and shoots Mike.
ACT III
EXT. WAREHOUSE – MORNING
The Mexican Gangsters save the children.
EXT. MEXICAN BEACH – DAY
Victoria’s daughter is returned to her.
INT. MEXICAN HOTEL – DAY
News announce $Bob$ announces he is running for District Attorney.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by Michael Williamsen.
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