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Lesson 6
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What I learned doing this assignment is that stacking intrigue is the hardest element of this class that I have ran into. I don’t know why, but for me, this was very difficult. I understand the concept that we need to feed bits of what’s coming to the viewer then drop the turning point on them. Harder to do than it appears. I did find that in act I it was easier to do and I feel that it did add more intrigue. I didn’t want to hit the viewer over the head with the fact that he was having an affair or had gotten involved some shady stock deal so this approach helped.
Jack Young’s Stacks Intrigue for “Stream”
Teaser: Michael drowns as a young boy and sees the ocean of souls and the seals. The seal turns into a gateway. He peers into an ancient world where the sorcerer stands working his evil. He turns as if he has seen Michael peer into his world. His brother wakes him and is cryptic about the future (The ancient one has seen you).
Act 1:
Essence: Michael has a good life with wife and son although he eats aspirin like candy. His wife is worried about his severe headaches. Has mysterious phone call with his buddy and keeps wife from hearing it, but it sounds like a big money making opportunity. On his way to work, we get glimpses of riots (No-birth). At work an old woman is upset about her house being repossessed and commits suicide in front of Michael. She has eerie, cryptic message for Michael. Secretary at work is upset with Michael about affair he’s having with her. During chaos of suicide and secretary being upset, he gets call from buddy that deal went bad. Michael leaves for lunch while on phone with friend. He finds out that the FBI has shown up at his buddy’s work with warrant for insider trading.
Stacked intrigue elements:
1) Has mysterious phone call with his buddy
2) Michael gets call from buddy that deal went bad
3) FBI has shown up at his buddy’s work
Turning Point: Michael has warrant out for his arrest.
Act II:
Essence: Michael stops at bar to get a drink and get his head together. AT bar, we get a glimpse of the no-birth crisis on the news. An old drunk makes jokes about test using monkeys to create babies that are half-human and half monkey. Girlfriend stops in and they have fight as Michael pops more aspirin. She tells him that the FBI came by work to arrest him. She told them that he was probably at his old hangout. As she finishes, the FBI pulls up. Michael tries to run out the back and runs into the FBI. His headache rages to the point where he collapses. Michael finds himself in the hospital. His wife is on the edge of the bed going over how Michael lost all of their funds, had an affair, broke the law, etc. Doctor takes Michael out of room to tell her that Michael has terminal brain cancer. Michael watches a show on TV with the Professor explaining his theory of what caused the no-birth. He tries to change the channel but he’s on every channel. He realizes that one of his eyes is now blind. Diane helps Michael to the car as debris blows down street. A paper wraps mysteriously around her leg. The obituary page shows Michael’s death in 3 days. Michael says he needs to find the Professor. At professor’s house, they meet astral team and he tells Michael about the stream. Diane doesn’t believe it.
Stacked intrigue elements:
1) Old guy makes jokes about test using monkeys to create babies that are half-human and half monkey
2) Professor explains his theory of what caused the no-birth.
3) The obituary shows Michael’s death in 3 days.
4) Michael says he needs to find Professor.
Midpoint: The Professor takes Michael and Diane into the astral plane and shows them the raging stream and souls captured in it.
Act III:
Essence: Michael and Diane stay at professor’s house. Michael and Diane are told that he must die to enter stream (First time he hears that he must die). Diane is against it and leaves with Michael in car (Son is asleep in car). Michael wants to be forgiven (She resists here) and realizes NOW that without someone going into stream, their son won’t be able to have a family. Michael tells Diane to stop and talks to her about their family going on through their son. They go back and agree. Thomas preps for the journey. Michael has a vision where he sees his dead brother and follows him from the house. In the pouring rain, he sees the ancient one (sorcerer) appear through the portal. The ancient sorcerer looks directly at Michael. Suddenly, the portal turns into headlights of a truck. Someone grabs him and pulls him to safety. It’s his wife. Michael and Diane return to the Professor’s house. Michael goes into the stream. Wife forgets to forgive him.
Stacked intrigue elements:
1) Professor reveals that the only way into the stream is to die.
2) Michael wants to be forgiven for what he did to brother and wife.
3) A mystical world where there exists a sorcerer is revealed
4) When Michael dies, his wife forgets to forgive him.
Turning Point: Michael dies and is thrust into the stream.
Act IV:
Michael revisits the highlights of his life as his soul leaves his body and he enters the Astral plane. The Astral team, guided by the Professor, ensures that Michael enters the Stream and is on his way to the other side. Son freaks out after seeing father die in the pod. When Diane’s parents arrive they call police. Using the son’s help, the police find Michael’s body and seize it.
Stacked intrigue elements:
1) Son freaks out after seeing father die
2) Parents call police
3) Son leads police to body
4) Michael is shoved into pool by older brother, hits head, and drowns.
5) Michael is pulled into a war scene in Middle East and sees his brother in combat. He experiences the horror of war.
6) Michael’s brother reminds him of the importance of alliances and faith.
Turning Point: The Professor warns that if they don’t get his body back, Michael will not be able to return.
Act V:
Essence: The professor escapes and manages to get Diane out of jail. They steal Michael’s body back with Thomas’s help. Michael arrives in the Ocean of Souls (Heaven). Michael is plucked from the Ocean of Souls and is given a new “Skin”.
Stacked intrigue elements:
1) Michael’s body is on verge of being destroyed.
2) Thomas fights to control Michael’s body temp
3) Michael thinks he’s in Heaven
4) Strange machine plucks out souls from Heaven
5) Telltale signs reveal it’s not Heaven before Michael is “plucked” out
6) Michael reappears in new reality with new synthetic skin
Lock In/Cliffhanger: Michael arrives on the planet in an artificial skin. (Not city of seals)
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by Jack Young.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by
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Madeleine Vessel Stacks Intrigue
Doing this assignment, I learned how to stack intrigue leading up to a major turning point. Adding these to my outline has fleshed it out, but it also has jumbled it a bit. I’m going to need to rethink a few things.
My list of turning points and the intrigue leading up to them
Act 1:
Intrigue: Russians inside Falisa’s house packing paintings into portfolios.
Intrigue: Key turning in the lock warning Russian thieves someone is entering the house.
Intrigue: Kazimir taking out his gun.
Turning Point: (Z) and Falisa are shot outside Falisa’s house by Russian gunmen. Critically injured, Zhora is transported to the hospital. Dead, Falisa is transported to the morgue in a body bag.
Act 2:
Intrigue: At a lunch meeting with Olivia, when Sophie learns that Russian dignitaries from the consulate have been invited to the Russian Art Exhibition reception makes Sophie recoil.
Intrigue: Zhora tells SFPD Detective Dave that he thinks the shooters are enemies from his past.
Secret: Zhora has been hiding the fact that he’s not just a Russian language translator, but he is also working as an FBI informant.
Turning Point: Sophie’s and Zhora’s U. S. Witness Protection Status is revealed.
Act 3:
Intrigue: Russian thieves are told to find Falisa’s missing painting at Zhora’s house.
Intrigue: Russian thieves break into Zhora’s and Sophie’s apartment and turn off the burglar alarm.
Intrigue: Russian thieves search the apartment.
Turning Point: The Russian intruders in Sophie’s apartment hear her key in the lock.
Act 4:
Intrigue: Sophie enters front door of her apartment and finds the burglar alarm off.
Intrigue: Sophie calls Bill for help, but he doesn’t pick up.
Intrigue: Sophie collides with one of the intruders. Before she flees, his face is burned into her memory.
Turning Point: Sophie falls down the stairs and lands on Bill, who is arriving at the apartment.
Act 5:
Intrigue: Sophie and Bill search her apartment for what the Russians were after.
Intrigue: The only things they seemed interested in are Sophie’s paintings.
Intrigue: Sophie remembers she’s been cleaning one of Falisa’s paintings, likely an Old Russian Master.
Intrigue: Sophie tells Bill she thinks the Russians were art thieves, not FSB operatives.
Intrigue: Sophie and Bill sneak into Falisa’s cordoned off house and find her paintings missing.
Turning Point: All Falisa’s paintings are gone. The Russian shooters are art thieves, not FSB operatives.
OUTLINE VERSION 3
(S) stands for Sophie; (B) stands for Bill; (Z) stands for Zhora
Act 1
Essence: Opens with (S) cleaning an Ivan Aivazovsky painting that belongs to Falisa, her father’s fiancée. (S) is an art history professor and painter, who cleans paintings on the side. She, along with her father, are Russian defectors living under assumed identities in the U. S. Witness protection program.
Intrigue: Russians inside Falisa’s house packing paintings into portfolios.
Intrigue: Key turning in the lock warning Russian thieves someone is entering the house.
Intrigue: Kazimir taking out his gun.
Turning Point: (Z) and Falisa are shot outside Falisa’s house by Russian gunmen. Critically injured, Zhora is transported to the hospital. Dead, Falisa is transported to the morgue in a body bag.
Surface: He’s a passenger on a Russian Ship of The Line (1846), who witnesses a dramatic rescue of passengers from a sinking sailing ship.
Layer beneath: The painting Sophie is cleaning depicts the rescue at sea seen by the man.
How revealed: Underneath dirt and cracked varnish, the painting is signed by Ivan Aivazovsky, the official painter of the Imperial Russian Navy and the greatest seascape painter of all time.
Act 2
Essence: Zhora and Sophie fear the Russian shooters are enemies from Zhora’s Russian past with FSB. Not only are they in danger of being exterminated, but they may also have to start over their lives again in the U. S. Witness Protection Program.
(S Opening) (S) meets (B) in (Z’s) hospital room. She learns that Bill is an FBI Agent and that (Z) is his informant. It shocks (S) to realize that (Z) hasn’t been living by the rules of witness protection.
Intrigue: At a lunch meeting with Olivia, when Sophie learns that Russian dignitaries from the consulate have been invited to the Russian Art Exhibition reception makes Sophie recoil.
Intrigue: Zhora tells SFPD Detective Dave that he thinks the shooters are enemies from his past.
Secret: Zhora has been hiding the fact that he’s not just a Russian language translator, but he is also working as an FBI informant.
Turning Point: (S Turning Point 1) Sophie learns that (Z) believes the shooters were FSB. The ramifications of this are too terrible for (S) to contemplate. Either, they will be on the run from FSB, or they will be forced to reenter witness protection under new names and occupations.
(B) promises to take care of (Z) and (S).
(S Midpoint) (S) returns home to find the alarm off. There’s an intruder in the house. She calls (B), but he doesn’t pick up. She investigates on her own and comes face-to-face with one of the intruders, who get away down the back stairs.
(S and B Turning Point) (B) and (S) find nothing in her apartment that would draw FSB. They do find that the intruders seem very interested in (S’s) paintings. This prompts (S) to think the Russians might be art thieves, not Russians.
Surface: Two Cyrillic words are carved into the Aivazovsky painting’s frame. Translated into English, they read, “Immortal Movement”
Layer beneath: The Immortal Movement was a resistance group dedicated to keeping Russia’s cultural heritage from being sold out of Russia by Lenin to finance the Bolshevik Revolution.
How revealed: The Immortal Movement is named in an old diary Sophie finds in Falisa’s self-storage unit.
(B) finds nothing that would draw FSB, but he does notice that the Russian intruders seemed very interested in (S’s) paintings.
Surface: Professor Sophie Wolf is a modest academic, whose scholarship informs the Russian Art Exhibit entitled, Russian Master Paintings, 1870-1925, and whose credits are minimal.
Layer beneath: Sophie does not advertise her credentials because she is trying to avoid being identified by Russia’s FSB.
How revealed: Sophie’s U. S. Witness Protection Status is revealed when she visits Zhora in the hospital and meets FBI Agent Bill Hillman, who tells her Zhora thinks the shooters were enemies from his past.
Act 3
Essence: The Russian thieves break into Sophie’s apartment looking for the painting they didn’t find a Falisa’s house.
Intrigue: Russian thieves are told to find Falisa’s missing painting at Zhora’s house.
Intrigue: Russian thieves break into Zhora’s and Sophie’s apartment and turn off the burglar alarm.
Intrigue: Russian thieves search the apartment.
Turning Point: The Russian intruders in Sophie’s apartment hear her key in the lock.
Act 4
Essence: (B) and (S) form an alliance to find out the real reason the Russians shot (Z) and Falisa. They determine the shooters were art thieves, not FSB.
(S) reveals that she has been cleaning one of Falisa’s paintings in her faculty office and that the painting may well be an Old Russian Master. I could be that the Russians were after that painting.
Surface: Vitaly Burundukov is a wealthy Russian businessman and donor to Sophie’s Russian Art Exhibit.
Layer beneath: Vitaly Burundukov is the art thief bent on obtaining Falisa’s paintings.
How revealed: At the end of season 1, Sophie catches Vitaly trying to sell stolen Old Russian Masters worth millions.
Intrigue: Sophie enters front door of her apartment and finds the burglar alarm off.
Intrigue: Sophie calls Bill for help, but he doesn’t pick up.
Intrigue: Sophie collides with one of the intruders. Before she flees, his face is burned into her memory.
Turning Point: Sophie falls down the stairs and lands on Bill, who is arriving at the apartment.
Act 5
Essence: Bill takes Sophie with him to Falisa’s house to verify whether or not her Old Russian Masters have been stolen.
(S and B midpoint) (S) and (B) find all Falisa’s paintings gone. The Russians are determined art thieves, not FSB.
Now, the pressure is on (B) to identify the Russians, so (S) and (Z) will not attract public attention and, by extension, FSB attention.
Surface: Zhora and Falisa are shot by Russians. Zhora thinks they are enemies from his FSB past.
Layer beneath: The Russians are really art thieves at Falisa’s house to steal her Old Russian Master.
How revealed: At night, Sophie and Bill sneak behind the crime scene tape at Falisa’s house and verify that her Old Russian Masters are gone.
Intrigue: Sophie and Bill search her apartment for what the Russians were after.
Intrigue: The only things they seemed interested in are Sophie’s paintings.
Intrigue: Sophie remembers she’s been cleaning one of Falisa’s paintings, likely an Old Russian Master.
Intrigue: Sophie tells Bill she thinks the Russians were art thieves, not FSB operatives.
Intrigue: Sophie and Bill sneak into Falisa’s cordoned off house and find her paintings missing.
Turning Point: All Falisa’s paintings are gone. The Russian shooters are art thieves, not FSB operatives.
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Eric Humble Stacks Intrigue
What I learned doing this assignment is: how to build intrigue in order to strengthen the turning points into some incredible moments in the story. This lesson really blew me away. I’ve always struggled with turning points in general, in part because I always felt they weren’t strong enough, which would then send me into perfection mode and ultimately cause me to lose confidence in the story or my ability to tell it. This technique has really shown me how to make the existing turning points so much more powerful simply by building the intrigue leading up to them, thus causing them to feel more impactful. I’m looking forward to going back to some of my screenplays and using this technique on rewrites, because I really feel this is something that can benefit features as well as television scripts.
Teaser:
Intriguing World: The intruder is wearing a mask.
Intrigue: The intruder opens a freezer and removes two microscope slides smeared with brownish dried blood. Snaps them. Dips them in gasoline, lights them on fire… then tosses them into the trail of gasoline he’s left everywhere.
Conspiracy: Jude calls Dres. You’re right – I wasn’t lucky. I was spared. I’m in.
Turning Point: Jude emerges and gets a call from Dres. Agrees to their plan.
Act 1:
Conspiracy: She tries to get out of it with a fake phone call to her partner, who makes it sound like her calendar is freed-up.
Conspiracy: Afterward, she’s pissed at the partner – but he gets scary with her: she may be doing this to throw it away but it’s a big score for him. If she’s so afraid of stepping out into the public, she picked the wrong line of work.
Hidden Agenda/Strange Behavior: The CEO requests that Dres accompany him to the gala tonight, so they can continue talking. She seems reluctant – scared – and insists they stay in the office to talk. But he’s firm. He has to be there; besides, it’ll be fun–alcohol, hors d’oeuvres. She agrees, but takes a pill for anxiety. Covers that she’s not good at social functions.
Strange Behavior: Disheveled man paces up and down outside the gala, bumps into Dres’s partner as he passes.
Strange Behavior: Everyone’s in a tux except him – he’s in a ruffled but expensive designer suit, unshaven, unkempt hair. He’s nervous as he gets close to the metal detector.
Accusation: Security spots him and removes him… until he produces an invitation.
Turning Point: …when an active shooter takes out an automatic rifle that has been 3D printed, and attacks the gala.
A major disruption to that “reality!” He comes right up to Jude, point-blank… and Jude recognizes him. He seems about to confess something to Jude – when his gun goes off, winging Catherine! Then the cops shoot him right in front of Jude. Unbeknownst to anyone, the target was Dres all along.
Act 2:
Secret Identity: Dres’s partner leads him in the direction of the meeting, but it’s a trap.
Wound: All the cloak-and-dagger stuff triggers Jude, and he stands up to her. He doesn’t like people who move in the shadows.
Strange Behavior: Dres pulls a knife and interrogates him, glancing around. She’s in danger just being here.
Strange Behavior: She gets spooked and walks him in and out of the subway, through an open cellar loading area, up into a restaurant and out an alley in back… all to avoid being seen.
Turning Point/Midpoint: Jude questions Dres… when someone tries to kill her. She was the target of the shooter at the gala, and there are more after her. (J Turning Point) A secret cabal is out to kill Dres, thus ending any hope for a cure. And Jude has killed one of their people to save her!
Act 3:
Intriguing World: The body dissolving in acid is found during a police raid.
Strange Behavior: Detective comes to his lab asking about the initial shooter and Jude’s interaction with him… then inquires about another in Jude’s field. A name he knows, but he’s never met the guy.
Accusation: The detective asks why he killed him. Jude is stunned – the other guy is the one who is dissolved in acid.
Turning Point: A police detective finds a clue that leads directly to Jude – his prints on the barrel, which are on record with the DEA since he works with Pharma drugs – and his aloofness makes him appear guiltier than ever.
Act 4:
Intrigue: He hears a tap on his phone. Sees a glitch on his screen… someone is tracking him.
Intrigue: He talks to the shooter’s widow, who tells him he started acting strange after the promotion. Secretive. Then he had a full-on freak-out one night when his phone started glitching. He went on and on about someone tracking their movements, listening to them.
Wound: The picture that tormented his brother is out on his desk when he gets home. He hasn’t seen it in years. Then, he’s taken to the ground from behind.
Strange Behavior: Jude rides the subway… and breaks the sim card on his phone before going home.
(J Midpoint) Turning Point: The cabal visit him in his home at night – acting like police at first… then assaulting him and warning him off. (J Dilemma) They force him to hand over the blood sample so they can destroy it… or they’ll kill him and Catherine. He gives it to them, insists it’s the only one. (M Major Conflict) Marks doesn’t kill him as ordered.
Act 5:
Intrigue: Guy goes underground, drills through fiber optic cables and cuts them.
Deception: IT tech guy comes to the lab to work on the servers…
Strange Behavior: IT guy seems nerdy and like it’s his first day on the job, and has gas cans in the trunk along with his IT equipment.
Lock In: Marks blows up his lab – and his assistant inside – along with the other sample he claimed didn’t exist.
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George Petersen – STACKING INTRIGUE
What I learned doing this assignment is that intrigue isn’t based on one thing. It should be coming from multiple angles at once.
Make a list of your turning points.
Act 1:
Though Pinkerton hires Kate, he won’t assign her to anything too dangerous. She’s a woman after all.
INTRIGUING WORLD: Pinkerton assigns Kate to a case that isn’t going anywhere. Kate goes undercover on her first case, a train robbery, and recovers the stolen money.
SECRET IDENTITY: The newspapers cover the story about her use of a secret identity to befriend the robber’s wife. She’s famous now as the first woman detective.
SECRET: Kate won’t reveal to Pinkerton the details of the case, how a woman managed to do what experienced male detectives couldn’t do, unless he assigns her to the Baltimore team. Pinkerton refuses. He won’t be blackmailed.
Act 1 TURNING POINT- Newspaper reporters want to know more about Kate. Pinkerton changes his mind at the last minute, assigns Kate to the team leaving for Baltimore.
MYSTERY: The team’s objective is to investigate a rumor that Southern sympathizers are planning to burn the rail bridges around the city in order to prevent Yankee troops from passing through on their way to Washington.
UNDESERVED SUFFERING: But being a spy is more dangerous than being a detective, so she must understand that she will be kept in the background. Because she is a woman, she will not be allowed to go deep undercover.
Act 2 :
INTRIGUING WORLD: Kate enters Mobtown, the powder keg world of Baltimore as Miss Kate, Southern socialite.
CONSPIRACY: Angelina takes Kate under her wing, explains to her who’s who in the Confederate world.
HIDDEN AGENDA: Angelina boasts to Kate that her husband is part of a secret society devoted to the expansion of slavery and that there is a plan brewing that will shorten the war to a couple weeks, a month at most.
Act 2 TURNING POINT – Confronting a drunk Rhett of the Black Snakes gang, Kate discovers that Ferrandini is the ringleader of the assassination plot and that the assassination plot is real.
Act 3:
DECEPTION: The public spat between Kate and Pinkerton in the hotel lobby succeeds in getting Ferrandini to protect Kate.
CONSPIRACY: Kate’s decision to go on a date with Ferrandini pushes Pinkerton to the limit.
Act 3 TURNING POINT – HIDDEN AGENDA: Pursuing Ferrandini as the target, Kate learns about the KGC and its efforts to recruit and organize the gangs of the city for the assassination plot.
Act 4:
Pinkerton and Ferrandini become best friends.
ACCUSATION: The pig’s blood tub incident
Act 4 TURNING POINT – DECEPTION: Pinkerton, disguised as Hutchinson, gets initiated into the KGC. Infiltration of the KGC is successful.
Act 5:
Act 5 TURNING POINT – DECEPTION: Ferrandini plants eight red ballots instead of one in the drawing to choose who will have the privilege of assassinating the President.
WOUND: Lincoln gives an extemporaneous address before the Presidential train leaves Springfield.
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