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Lesson 8 Assignments
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12 Replies
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Subject Line: Michael Christopher, Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned doing this lesson is, how to assemble a catchy, less is more pitch.
Hi, I’m Michael Christopher, my romantic comedy called The Perfect Lover got a consider rating from a reader at the Page Awards.
It’s about a woman who gets dumped, then gets a sexed up AI robot as an easy way forward, but it turns out to be quite a hand full too.
It should be a middle budget film considering most of the actors are on the younger side and maybe one higher cost location.
I think Emily Blunt opposite Ian Nelson would be great to share the lead.
In the First Act – Laura gets dumped by her sure thing boyfriend, so she gets a sexy AI robot to get the perfect lover without any baggage.
Second Act – On top of the robot’s AI, stumbling across its human doppelganger adds several layers of confusion to Laura’s life.
Third Act – With that, the affair being unsustainable, totally evaporates.
In the end, Laura resigns herself to the fact that it’s not gonna happen. But oh what’s this out of left field? A white knight?
I haven’t been writing very long, but with a consider rating and a high concept, my first success could come from you. Then I could use your name in my next pitch.
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Hi Heather,
Could you please email me at joanbutler357@gmail.com and tell me where you saw more query letters? Many thanks.
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Heather’s
Pitch Fest PitchWhat I learned from this: I would rather make a written pitch. So now that I’ve admitted the truth, will someone hunt me down and make me do a live pitch? For the honor and glory of ol’ Screenwriter’sU and all that? Slinking away now….
Create your entire Pitch Fest Pitch.
1. Tell us your credibility.
Hi, I’m Heather Hood. I’m a Psychiatric nurse with 25 years of experience working with Indigenous survivors of the residential school systems.
2. Tell us your genre and title.
Absolution is a true story drama based on my mother’s experience in St Anne’s residential School in Ontario. However, it’s told with a twist, from the point of view of a dying priest apologizing for his part in the abuse that happened there.
3. What is your one or two sentence hook?
Imagine living in a community where a mother would rather kill herself than bring a child into a world where nothing changes and mental illness, alcoholism and drug abuse and is a never-ending loop? This is the first scene in Absolution – a teen mother throws herself off a cliff while the grief-stricken teen father tries to stop her.
4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:
What is the budget range?
5-30 MM
What actors do you like for the lead roles?
Gabriel Byrne – Father John Ambrose, Liam Neeson – Bishop Robert DeGaul, Zoe Leigh Hopkins – Jody Youngblood, Kaniehtiio Horn – Willa Youngblood
Give me the acts of the story.
1<sup>st</sup> act – Father John Ambrose is dying of kidney cancer, and before he does, he confesses he needs to beg forgiveness of Jody Youngblood for the relationship they shared when he was a teacher at St. Anne’s residential school. If he wants absolution for his sins he needs to apologize.
2<sup>nd</sup> act – Jody Youngblood doesn’t want anything to do with Ambrose, so the band Chief arranges for her to take him for dialysis. They get caught in a blizzard and have to rely on each other to get out alive. Ambrose’s port goes septic.
3<sup>rd</sup> act – The Cree take legal action against the Catholic church in light of Ambrose’s testimony against the headmaster of the school. The Vatican lawyer’s aides try to murder Ambrose so he won’t embarrass the church.
4<sup>th</sup> act – when Ambrose doesn’t die, the other Vatican aide is sent after the chief’s son, Joe, on a hunt for a box of evidence stashed in the ruins of St. Anne’s.. In a bloody confrontation Joe is forced to kill the Aide and get back before the trial is over. He lurches in the courtroom just as Ambrose collapses.
5<sup>th</sup> act – Ambrose dies, his faith in God restored, leaving everyone else to wonder why God allows such evil men as the headmaster to exist. – the high concept: how does one keep their faith when those who claim to represent God turn a blind eye to their own sin?
Credibility questions What have you done?
Professional Costumer x 35 years for theatre, TV and Film –
productions: Highlander the series Lionsgate Studios
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Pitch Fest Pitch
Hi,
I’m Joan Butler and I stayed at a transition house for abused women like the transition house in the story. The script placed at Austin and Raindance.
Today I have a drama called The Deprogrammer.
(light pause)
It’s the story of a counselor at a transition house. She is hired to prove that the deprogramming often used with brainwashed cult members can keep brainwashed women from returning to their abusers.
___________
Then allow them to ask questions.
A. What is the budget range?
Low Budget 500K to 5 million
B. What actors do you like for the lead roles?
These are great roles for:
Naomie Harris as the counselor.
Claire Danes as the brainwashed woman.
And Charlie Hunnam as the abuser.
C. Give me the acts of the story.
Act 1.
Selma takes work at a transition house where she is hired to prove that deprogramming can keep brainwashed women from returning to their abusive partners. Elizabeth becomes her client.
Act 2.
Selma conducts the step-by-step deprogramming process. In the meantime, Elizabeth’s abuser, Mark, continues to brainwash her. When Elizabeth decides to go back, Selma is crushed.
Act 3.
Selma intervenes as Elizabeth leaves the transition house. Mark tries to kidnap her, but Selma risks her life to stop him.
D. How does it end? (setup / payoff).
Five years later, Selma and Elizabeth have created a world-wide self-help organization called SODA, Survivors of Domestic Abuse. Selma stands in the living room of the transition house facing a group of women enjoying themselves. She asks them to cheer for each other because they are survivors. Cheers of joy are heard off screen as the camera focuses on the welcome sign on the front door of the transition house, the same door we saw at the beginning of the story.
What I learned: I wish I had taken this course before I spent money learning how to create a pitch the “usual” way.
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Joy Smith’s Pitch Fest Pitch
1. Tell us your credibility.
This is where I fall short at the moment – I have none. No competitions, not optioned, haven’t worked as a journalist or in the psychiatric care industry.
2. Tell us your genre and title.
It’s a thriller called FIRST LAW
3. What is your one or two sentence hook?
Would you get yourself committed to advance your career? Cleo would, but once her inside contacts are arrested, she finds herself trapped.
4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:
What is the budget range?
I anticipate this being a low budget range, as though it’s not quite a contained thriller, it does only have a few locations. $500k-$5 million.
What actors do you like for the lead roles?
Jennifer Lawrence, Margot Robbie, Sosie Bacon
Give me the acts of the story.
Act 1 – Cleo sniffs out the story and is refused the assignment. She goes anyway
Act 2 – Cleo works on the story until her inside contacts are arrested and she is given real medication.
Act 3 – Cleo is stuck in the care home and the transfer of insanity from her room mate is complete.
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</div>How does it end? (setup / payoff).
It currently ends with Cleo being stuck in the care home, although I am exploring an alternative ending where she is released, but doesn’t regain her full faculties. (I’m a UK writer so need to ensure the details would be accurate for the US if applicable)
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</div>Credibility questions: What have you done?
I’ve written another three features and a TV pilot.
5. What I learned is…?
I struggle with credibility, although I kinda knew that anyway. I hadn’t ever considered researching actors for my lead roles before, although that does make perfect sense. (Especially since this is a good role, so I’m likely to be pitching to actor’s production companies anyway).
I was able to answer all the other questions relatively easily though, so hopefully my nerves wouldn’t get the better of me at a real life pitch fest.
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Kathleen O’Neill – Pitch Fest Pitch
Answer the question What I learned is? All my materials feed and nurture one another when well-conceived and well-written. It reveals the strength/s of my script and what it means to me. It reveals my passion.
1. Tell us your credibility. Hi, I’m Kathleen O’Neill. Adoption has been a welcomed factor in my family so when I heard about a person distraught upon learning of being adopted I knew I wanted to write a story exploring both elements.
2. Tell us your genre and title. My Mother Es Mi Madre is a feature length drama.
3. What is your one or two sentence hook? A self-righteous search for her birth family could destroy two families unless she removes her blinders to the real truth.
4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:
• What is the budget range? Low budget – $500k to $5 million
• What actors do you like for the lead roles? There are four female roles, each requiring conviction and compassion. that require family similarities OR There are great roles for people like …
o JESSICA, JESS, MCHALE – Camila Camarrao Mendes-20s, Naomi Scott 28 British*, Daisy Ridley – 30 – British, Vera Farmiga 49 & Taissa Farmiga – potential mother daughter, Selena Marie Gomez , Evan Rachel Wood, Dakota Johnson, Jennifer Lawrence, Sophie Turner (got),
o KATIE MCHALE -, Bridget Moynahan, Minnie Driver, Diane Lane, Jennifer Garner, Tea Leoni, Paget Brewster, Molly Ringwald
o ALEJANDRA HERNANDEZ COLON – PAULA GARCES – 48 – Colombian, Selma Hayek, Penélope Cruz
o CARMEN HERNANDEZ – MARIA CECELIA BOTERO – Colombian, Annette Bening
• Give me the acts of the story.
o Act One – Jessica discovers she is adopted, goes to and finds her birth family in Medellin, Colombia and then her adoptive family arrive, en masse.
o Act Two – Lies and betrayals are exposed and thrashed out.
o Act Three – A story of truth is told by Carmen and families takes steps to be a family.
• How does it end? (setup / payoff).
The truth behind all the accusations and revelations is finally revealed by Carmen in a family gathering. Jessica and Carmen, her grandmother, take their first steps to one another. The film closes with the mothers descending the stairs as the families meet as a family.
• Credibility questions What have you done? I have worked as an actor and director in theater for most of my life and in film only as an actor, until a playwright gave me the film rights to her play.
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Cody Jarrett’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned is: This film is a good in-person pitch.
1. Hi, Peter! I’m Cody Jarrett; I just finished __________ with__________, which I wrote and directed.
2. I’ve just finished a new comedy, West Hollywood Cougars.
3. It’s First Wives’ Club on the softball field. Three husbands ditch their wives so they can screw around & screw their secretaries. All three men play on the same softball team, so their wives form their own team to get their husbands’ attention, and eventually get revenge.
4.
This is a mid-budget film.
The three leads are women in their 40’s-50’s, so women like Kristin Wiig, Kiersten Dunst, Reese Witherspoon, Kate Hudson would be ideal. Husbands: Seth Rogen, William Fichtner.
Acts:
1. The three husbands divorce their wives. The wives hire a a super hard-ass drill-instructor coach and form their own team to get back in their husband’s faces.
2. The wives’ rag-tag team is terrible until they discover one player who is an amazing fast-pitch pitcher. To the husbands’ chagrin, the wives start winning games, and as an underdog female softball team, become national media darlings.
3. Through a stroke of luck, the wives end up in the playoff game with their ex husbands. They’re on the verge of losing, but copying a page from their husband’s dirty playbook, manage to pull out the win in the final play of the game.
Ending:
Championship game day, Cougars vs the Cocksmen, everything’s on the line.
Now, the film opens with one husband, Peter, shooting cellphone video of himself getting blown by his mistress, who is not only his boss’ daughter, but also his pitcher’s wife. Later in the story, Peter’s wife Barbara quits the Cougars & goes back to him. But on game day she finds the cellphone video.
So, to the game: the husbands are winning and it’s the bottom of the ninth. The Cougars are at bat, full count, one pitch left, bases loaded and all four players need to score to win.
Barbara rushes the cellphone footage to the field and just before that final pitch is thrown, she has it put up on the jumbotrons for everyone to see. Seeing his wife blowing his teammate, the pitcher immediately nails Peter in the head with the ball and a brawl ensues. The women easily run the bases and win the game.
5. Questions
I just finished __________ with __________ and _____________. My previous film, ____________ was initially a Showtime & E1 film, but has had a major resurgence in the past two years with at least 32 million views on streaming AVOD plus Plex, tubi, Amazon Prime, the Roku Channel, and more. My first feature was a horror/comedy. Besides writing/directing, I’m a member of the Hollywood editors’ guild; I’m also in SAG and have acted and done stunts in major studio films. I’ve been repped by ____________ for my entire filmmaking career.
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Vernall Ritchey – Pitch Fest Pitch
What I’ve learned is that these thought provoking lessons are helping to make a good script great.
1.
2. MAN HUNT a Romantic Comedy.
3. A beautiful, young woman has just been bequeathed a $25 million inheritance by her late, estranged, TRIBESMAN father if she marries A MAN LIKE HIM by tomorrow.
A beautiful, young woman stands to inherit $25 million from her late, estranged, TRIBESMAN father, if she can fulfill his stringent conditions, which is to marry A MAN LIKE HIM by her 21st birthday, which is in three days.
4.
Low budget: $500k to $5 million
Actors: Comedians or up and coming comedians
ACT I – Victoria, a beautiful, young woman stands to inherit $25 million from her late, estranged, TRIBESMAN father, if she can fulfill his stringent conditions, which is to marry A MAN LIKE HIM by her 21st birthday, which is in three days.
ACT II – Victoria, with the help of her raunchy, foul mouth mother, aunt, and two friends set out on a treacherous MAN HUNT where they find Martin, a tribesman for Victoria to marry. Martin adds preconditions of his own. Victoria grovels before complying.
ACT III – Martin accepts Victoria’s marriage proposal. Victoria vows to kick Martin’s ass after they are married and Victoria, Martin her tribesman fiancé, her raunchy, foul mouth mother, aunt, and two friends hurry back home.
How does it end? (setup / payoff) – Victoria finds Martin a tribesman to marry. Martin shocks them with his own preconditions that not only does he want the promised $100K, he wants a public marriage proposal on bended knee, a slow dance, and a juicy tongue kiss. Victoria grovels as she is forced to endure Martin’s multitude of indignities. But, after she does, he does too. They all head home making it back in the nick of time for Victoria and Martin to get married. They say I do, the clock strikes 5:00pm, and Victoria throws a punch, kicking Martin’s ass. It’s a near miss as Martin ducks — then plants a juicy kiss on Victoria’s lips. Victoria screams — Mama!
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Subject line: Cassie Richardson’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned is that I need to have actual credits or contest wins before I can become successful pitching a movie.
1. Credibility: TBA
2. Genre and title. I have a Romantic Comedy titled BREAKFAST WITH SANTA
3. Two-sentence hook: It’s a story about a bougie marketing genius whose final push through the glass ceiling gets smacked down after a chance encounter with Black Santa, and how she picks up the pieces by rebranding a fledgling town as America’s favorite Christmas destination.”
4. Please give your one or two sentence answer to each of these questions:
– What is the budget range? Low
budget: $500k to $5 million– What actors do you like for the
lead roles? Brianna Reynolds = Someone like Amanda Seals, Brianna’s Ex = Someone like Brooks Darnell,
Black Santa = Someone like Common or
Deon Cole.– Give me the acts of the story. BWS in three Acts
ACT 1. After meeting Black Santa, marketing genius Brianna loses the promotion she deserves… gets demoted and humiliated in front of her social media followers. She’s offered the chance to save face by going to small town nowhere to “babysit” her firm’s worst account.
ACT 2: Brianna goes to the small town, where her ex is also the mayor, with two goals: Keeping the town’s business owners silent until the sale of the business district’s land on Christmas Day and proving to her ex that she is better off without him. Fish out of water fun.
ACT 3: Brianna gets a bigger promotion, professional respect and more professional perks than she dreamed…but that life no longer fits. With Black Santa’s help, Briana rushes back to the town just in time for its crucial Christmas Day celebration, where she reunites with her ex under the mistletoe.
– How does it end? (setup / payoff): Brianna goes back to
the city with a bigger promotion, professional respect and more perks than
she dreamed, but that life no longer fits. So, with Black Santa’s help, Brianna rushes back to small
town nowhere just in time for the crucial Breakfast With Santa parade on Christmas Day parade where she reunites with her ex under the mistletoe.– Credibility questions What have you done? I’ve worked in
corporate public relations / marketing for 15 years and led the rebranding
of an organization – with its members kicking and screaming all the way.-
This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by Cassie Richardson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by Cassie Richardson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by
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Connie’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned from doing this exercise is… this is good preparation to pitch like a pro when the opportunity arises and to be able to anticipate the questions I may be asked. I had not done a formal 3 act breakdown, so that was useful too.
Hi I am Constance Barr, an optioned screenwriter with a project in development
I have a Rom-Com entitled… Love Dance
Dance-obsessed divorcee, Daisy is determined to win the Over 50 National contest.
And she’s sworn off men forever! That is until her rascal daddy sends her a hunky new partner… Buck, his personal penis pump salesman!
This is a low-budget feature in the $500k to $5 million range.
The lead role would be great for Connie Britton or Diane Lane. Her love interest might be Mads Mikkelsen or Jason Bateman.
Act 1
Daisy Duncan, head librarian at, 50s divorcee is obsessed with dance and winning the National over 50 contest. Plagued by her philandering stalker ex who’s determined to win her back, and after an abundance of horrid dates, she’s sworn off men forever. When her longtime partner is transferred, she needs a new one PDQ. So her whacky dad makes a deal to send her a hunky replacement…,
Buck, his personal penis pump salesman!
Act 2
Daisy strives to keep things with Buck “strictly business” but his cowboy charm, skill on the dance floor, quirky humor, plus his shadowy past and mysterious vocation are intriguing. He also tries to resist the attraction but when they win the local contest, the attraction amplifies. More complications when a much younger guy pursues Daisy and a city examiner tries to get her demoted or fired.
Act 3
Buck and Daisy finally hook up. He reveals his special profession and she enjoys the benefit of his wares. But guilt from his past causes him to split. Buck is seriously injured in a motorcycle accident and misses the Nationals in Dallas. He tries to explain but Daisy ghosts him.
In the end, we find Daisy and Buck against all obstacles, finally reunited dancing under the mistletoe at the library holiday party where he proposes. In the final scene they are dancing under the Eiffel Tower deliriously happy in each other’s arms.
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Walter Stewart – Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned is that pitching should be an outline of organized information.
CREDIBILITY: Hello my name is Walter Stewart and I am a seasoned professional and an aspiring writer. Currently, in the final edit stage of publishing my first book with Author’s House called God’s Prescription for Overcoming Depression and Suicidal Thoughts.
TITLE & GENRE: Shytown (Melodrama)
HOOK: Pronounced dead by the hospital doctor Jason Tyler is transported through Space to Purgatory where he loses a fight with his childhood friend who recently died by suicide. He loses the battle and awakens on the emergency room table only to discover he’s chosen by God to deliver an important message to his assailant.
A. BUDGET RANGE: Middle budget $15 million to $30 million
B. LEAD ACTOR: Austin Butler
C. ACTS
I. After a fundraising event, Jason Tyler is shot during a robbery on a commuter train in Chicago and dies in the hospital emergency. Simultaneously his police officer friend Gerald commits suicide. They are now enemies and fight in Purgatory where Jason loses the battle and miraculously awakens on the emergency room table.
II. Jason visits his assailant in prison. Tyrone is Gerald’s neglected son. He is there to convince him that God has a plan for his life. 1980s – 2000s Backstory: Jason and Gerald are neighbors. Jason is honest, friendly and loves to dance and party to House Music. Gerald is a diabolical bully and a thief who has anger management issues. Jason leaves Chicago joins the Air Force and moves to California. Ironically, Gerald becomes a small-town police officer after saving the police chief’s life during a choking incident in a restaurant.
III. The School Board authorizes Jason’s philanthropic organization to purchase his childhood abandoned elementary school. Tyrone is acquitted from murder and learns to run the philanthropy’s national charter schools.
Ending: Tyrone feeds Jason in the nursing home.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by Walter Stewart.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by
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ASSIGNMENT
Tully’s Pitch Fest Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is that short and to the point is good. Yay!
Hi, my name is Tully Archer. I have a feature being pitched to named talent by the director/producer duo who are interested in it.
Today I have a thriller called “Painter”. It’s about a serial killer who is hunted down, and killed, by his own mother.
One to five million dollars.
Someone with great nuance like Joaquin Phoenix, NAME, or Jeffrey Donovan. For the mother, a powerhouse like Sissy Spacek, Helen Mirren, or Meryl Streep.
In act one, Mother flips out when she learns that a girl who went missing in their little town twenty years ago was found, her throat slit probably the very day she disappeared. Mother viciously murders her abusive husband when he claims to not recognize that girl’s picture on the news. She grabs that girl’s high school yearbook from her attic and a few hundred dollars from her husband’s rainy day fund and leaves town in a hurry.
Everyone assumes that whoever killed the husband also killed the wife but when forensics come back, Mother is officially on the run, as she looks for clues in act two. Meanwhile, the serial killer is out there, carefully selecting victims, scouting locations, and executing a perfect date followed by a perfect murder over, and over, and over again.
Mother finds the confirmation she was looking for: the name of a man, a painter, whose appearance in a town always coincides with a missing curly-haired blonde woman or two, just like the girl in the yearbook. A man whose face, if not his name, matches another picture in that same yearbook. She’s getting close. And so is the detective who is hunting her.
Mother finds an address and is almost there, just as the killer has almost lured his new target to the kill spot, but Mother doesn’t show up and save the day. She was going to the house of another curly-blonde from that same damned yearbook – and here we learn the truth: The old lady is the mother not of the girl who went missing, but the boy who ran away that same day. Her son. Who killed that girl for the sin of looking like his first love, who lives and breathes and gets horrifying love letters from him every month.
Act three begins with the disposal of Son’s most recent body. Armed with the return address on the most recent “please take me back, things will be perfect when you do” letter, Mother does show up at the killer’s short term apartment. Mother finds the confirmation that she was hoping to never see: that her son will never stop. Mother holds her son in one final embrace, and then stabs him in the back. The cops find their bodies together on the floor, and all the evidence they could want in the paintings he never shared.
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