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Lesson 7
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David Wickenden TV Pitch Investigation
Tool 1: What’s beneath that?
We know that Janice, the cop, had suffered sexual assault for several years as a child. The consequences of which she is still experiencing fear of the dark, fear of entering a room without inspecting it. She also met Laura because of the trauma, and their friendship grew from there. It also pushed her to be a cop who could bring these criminals to justice.
She would have the motive to kill child abusers, especially the way the legal system protects the criminal.
Tool 2: Extrapolate: If Janice is willing to kill, then, she could be an active partner with Laura.
Tool 3: Wonder: What if they partnered up?
It would give both of them enough alibies and intelligence to show that the killer could not possibly be the same person.
Tool 4: Backtrack: How could ________________________ have happened?
Janice and Laura are best friends. Laura was her original psychiatrist, so knows what she has gone through. Both would understand the other.
Tool 5: Forecast: How could this get even worse?
Someone could dig deeper into Janice’s past and determine that her childhood assault might trigger her to take the law into her own hands. And she would have to defend herself and prove she was innocent, even why she is helping Laura.
Use in Pitch Bible.
I could add this entire conspiracy to the Intriguing Layers of Janice’s character.
Hidden agenda: she is working with the vigilante
Secrets: She is waging both a legal war against pedophiles and an illegal war
Deception: She’ll come across as innocent and fight to prove that – I don’t see the audience finding out until the last episode that she and Laura are actually working together.
Use in Episodes.
This would have to be peppered throughout the episodes to keep the mystery and intrigue going until the end of the season.
Don’t use.
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David Thompson’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation
Digging (Tool 1) – What’s beneath the possessed serial killer?
The serial killer is possessed by a demon who is absorbing the energy of fear that is generated by the women being killed.
Digging (Tool 1): What’s beneath Dan giving in so quickly to the idea of being in a relationship with Megaera? We can somewhat understand Dan, given the goddess is beautiful, but there’s more here. Megaera suddenly fills a hole in Dan, and she’s not shy about pursuing him. What is HER motivation? Goddesses have a habit of seducing mortal men, then disappearing. Why is Megaera sticking around?
What if…. Dan discovers that Brianna’s spirit is still around?
What if…. We keep the serial killer’s ID secret (versus in the books, where I reveal who it is straight away)?
What if… Jones, Dan’s partner, is the last person to see killed police woman alive, had drinks in a bar, but what if he spots Kyle Banks there? He’d wonder what that FBI guy was doing…. He’s suspicious, which would then foreshadow the revelation of Banks being the killer.
How would Dan react to spotting Brianna’s ghost, but this time minus the gouged out eyes.
Is Brianna actually a ghost, or something else? Something more divine and somewhere in between goddess and mortal?
Dan, in the book, researches the Furies after Gaia tells him who they are.
Explore Dan’s backstory in Dallas, his wife killing a man in a hit and run, and also killing their child (not buckled into the car seat) – this would serve to pile things onto him, explain why he reacted the way he did in the pilot, dealing with the stand-off….
Mention how Dan spends most of his alone time with his cat, Dude, an overweight orange tabby, and is later ‘adopted’ by Megaera, and she scolds Dan about feeding the cat chinese noodles, and not cat food.
Tool 5 Forecast: How can it get even worse?
Dan loses niece. Then he loses a fellow officer to this serial killer. Then, he’s denied the opportunity to arrest the serial killer because the Furies get to him first. Then the death of the serial killer releases this demon.
Use in TV Pitch Bible
Mention the dragons – and their use as an “air force” for the civil war in the Underworld.
Bune decides to use dragons to patrol Tartarus, training riders.
Emphasize the Furies’ use of motorcycles. Tisiphone chases down her targets while on a matte-black custom beast that can even glide across water. Alecto has a maroon motorcycle, and Megaera has a cream-white motorcycle.
“Motorcycle riding goddesses of revenge” is how the book’s blurb puts it. Emphasis that these are some bad-ass supernatural women.
Use in Episodes
Needs an episode where we see dragons in the underworld. Scenes in the underworld need to happen in season one, early on. Plant those seeds of rebellion.
A Fury on a petition – (Think early Dexter shows, a murder a week)
Don’t Use
The Furies specialize in revenge, need more mention of this, and the “rules” they must follow.
The bit with the cat – needs to be a regular “bit” in each episode. Like a running gag.
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Moses Quainoo
MODULE 2 – LESSON 7: INVESTIGATING YOUR SHOW
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
ASSIGNMENT 1:
Do a complete investigation on your TV Pitch Bible to discover more depth, layers, and intrigue.
1. Starting with THE DO WELLS Binge-Worthy Framework and the current draft of the TV Pitch Bible, ASSUME there is something beneath the surface that you absolutely MUST discover.
SEASON 1 – THE DO WELLS
Characters – AC and Loveday Sebastian.
What is beneath these two Characters AC and Loveday?
They are core/founding members of The Do-Wells Organization. AC is the President of the Organization and Loveday is the Second-In-Command.
Situation – AC and Loveday’s presence at the Trade Fair Center.
What is beneath that?
Retired Lt. Colonel Frank Sebastian ordered her daughter Loveday to scout at the Trade Fair Center for a handful of talents, who could become spies as three of their members died in Algeria and Yemen. The mission is covert and AC should get orders to help her.
2. Investigate by picking situations and characters and asking:
SEASON 1 – THE DO WELLS
Situation – Jealous Loveday planned and is testing Hu’s readiness to fight using surprise. But AC arrives at the Headquarters and calls the fight to stop.
Tool 1: Dig: What is beneath that?
AC lies that she wants to stop the war because she disapproves of it as President when AC is just protecting her boyfriend Hu.
Tool 2: Extrapolate: If Loveday is jealous that Hu wooed AC, then she plots for their Kung Fu Champion to beat up Hu.
Tool 3: Wonder: What if Hu fought back and won’t take defeat and save himself? What if Loveday’s plot is best for Hu?
Tool 4: Backtrack: How could Hu’s test have happened?
Tool 5: Forecast: How could the fight get even worse?
3. Evaluate the possibilities and decide what you are going to use in the different parts of your TV Pitch Bible. Divide the answers into three categories:
Use in TV Pitch Bible.
Use in Episodes.
Don’t use.
4. For any parts where there is a substantial improvement, rewrite those parts of the TV Pitch Bible. Then, tell us what parts you changed and give a quick description of what you did.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Moses Quainoo.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
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ASSIGNMENT 1:
Mike – TV Pitch Bible Investigation
What I learned is the fact there is ALWAYS more. Your characters have secrets, have agendas. Their dreams, hopes and aspirations lead them in directions that you are not aware of until the reveal forces the change.
Current Draft – TV Pitch Bible
Page 1: Show Title, genre, and format || Concept (Mod 1 pre-lesson, Mod 2 Lesson 1) || World (Mod 1 pre-lesson, Mod 2 Lesson 1) || Show Summary (Lesson 6)
Show Title: Between Lives
Genre: 1 hour Supernatural Thriller
Concept: Caleb, a high school student, living two disparate lives, learns of a supernatural foe coming to enslave the world. He must assemble a team, lead them into a shadow war to save both earth and Shangra La from enslavement.
Intriguing World: Shangra La, a place of magic, built from spent human emotions and existing in parallel with earth. Accessible to only a few, until the threat of Armageddon forces the two worlds to unite.
Show Summery: High-school senior, Caleb Sutherland, is anything but a normal teenager. His mother is a world-famous painter: rich, eccentric, self-absorbed. His absentee father, a roughneck on oil rigs; the older brother thinks Caleb is certifiable. (Empathy/Distress). The family exhibits preternatural abilities, are aware a supernatural realm exists, (Twist/Hook/Secret Identity) and that its inhabitants are at odds, making for a multi-layered concept for them to act within. (Intriguing World)
Act one begins “in the middle” of a kidnapping implying there is an element of mystery to the timeline and the events leading up to Caleb’s abduction are as important as the ones that follow. (Intrigue)
The Sutherlands’ move to Colorado sets in motion a chain of events beginning with Caleb meeting Victoria, whose compassion for strays and love of life wins him over. (Relationship Hook)
Unfortunately, Victoria’s ex boyfriend murders her. (Shocking Event/ Undeserved Misfortune) Caleb becomes a ‘person of interest’ in Victoria’s disappearance. It is made worse by the fact a branch of Homeland Security “knows” of Caleb’s teleportation powers and begin hunting him. (Undeserved Misfortune)
On the run, from the authorities, from a broken heart, Caleb searches for Victoria in Shangra La. (Coping Mechanism). A place where art, magic and music exist, where there is no machinery, no technology of any kind (Intriguing World). Caleb learns the Necromancers have arrived on earth and plan to enslave and turn mankind into livestock. (Open Loops)
Caleb, his dysfunctional family, and warring supernatural factions must come together, find a way to defeat the shape-shifting nasties while staying one step ahead of the law and the military. (Forced decision they’d never make). Vastly outnumbered, Caleb’s family, factions from Shangra La, and others must set aside their differences, work together to eradicate the Necromancers or die. (Impossible Goal)
How does a dysfunctional family of headstrong psychics unite to save themselves, mankind, and prevent Shangra La from being annihilated at the hands of the Necromancers? (Final Hook/Extreme Dramatic Question) ====================================================================Page 2 – 4 Character Descriptions (Lesson 2)
Caleb Sutherland (protagonist) a psychically-gifted, young man recovering from the tragic death of his girlfriend, finds himself facing a deadly foe in a shadow war, and starting up with Victoria, school’s prettiest girl – a relationship he is hesitant to embrace. Victoria proves the catalyst needed to galvanize him into leading a group of similarly-gifted individuals into war with Necromancers. Discovering their weakness, Caleb’s forces win the initial skirmishes. However, Necromancers (shape change at will) assimilate into society forcing the government to instill Marshall law and employ guerilla warfare tactics. His unasked-for gifts come at a price. Caleb sacrifices his happy ever after to save two worlds. Who can’t get behind a person like that.
Rick Sutherland (protagonist’s brother) Caleb’s older brother is hyper-competitive, successful, and thinks his family crazy. His refusal to acknowledge his supernatural abilities leads to his wife and daughter’s murder. Devastated, he realizes too late, Caleb was right: there are no sidelines, no sitting this one out. Ironically, Rick’s failure to protect his family leads to the revelation that he is ‘the Shepherd,’ destined to lead and protect the newly departed crossing into Purgatory from demonic wolves that prey on the pilgrims journeying toward Shangra La.
Natalie Sutherland (Protagonist’s mother) An eccentric, world famous artist who lives for art and the creation of life itself. Mercurial. Unknowable. She has chosen to make a family, create children, while pursuing artists, their art and carnal affections. Seemingly oblivious, Natalie’s connection to the world with its what-ifs begins and ends with her paintbrush.
Charles Stewart — Caleb’s mentor and a trusted friend of the Sutherland family. He helps Caleb harness his powers, helps Rick too. His ability to manipulate time, coupled with a desire to return to the 1850s to be with his fiancé pull him in opposite directions. Lonely and alone, Charles is nevertheless, committed to protecting and training the Sutherland boys. His loyalty and selflessness are endearing traits any audience will get behind.
Victoria Musgrave (Love Interest) Beautiful, intelligent and tenderhearted. A young woman who lives her convictions, who won’t let peer pressure affect her. Able to sense when people are hurting or in need, she is attracted to the mystery that is Caleb. Victoria keeps Caleb grounded, prevents the burden of responsibility and weight of tragedy from crushing him. By befriending Caleb, will her compassion ruin her relationship with her father who dislikes Caleb? Worse, will her feelings for Caleb provoke her unstable, ex-boyfriend, to retaliate? Ironically, her compassion gets her killed.
Annabelle Lee (Antagonist) A powerful witch on a mission to resurrect the ‘Old South.’ Her actions appear noble; she does the ‘right’ thing for the wrong reasons. Annabelle Lee rescues Olivia from Andrew; only to enslave her. Annabelle Lee’s refuge, an amalgamation of black magic, voodoo and science, saves mankind. After the Necros fail, Annabelle Lee becomes President of the New Republic.
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Page 5 – 7 Episode Descriptions (Lesson 4 and 5) one sentence per episode
Ep.1 – Kidnapped but saved from a head-on collision by the ghost of his lover, Caleb winds up in ICU. Leaving the hospital by free falling off the building’s five story roof, Caleb is reunited with a group of wild-eyed cowboys on horses who ride off moving in and out of reality.
Ep.2 – Caleb awakens to find a woman giving him mouth to mouth. Resuscitated, he is brought back from the brink of death. The man who kidnapped Caleb and teleported off moments before the fatal head-on collision, attempts to kidnap his older brother, Rick.
Ep.3 – Year earlier, Caleb’s love interest spies on him. Crushing hard, Victoria pushes past his reticence, takes his hesitancy as a cry for help and saves him from himself. Present day, Caleb and Charles, friend of the family save Rick from the woman who murdered his wife and daughter.
Ep.4 – Rick embraces his abilities, joins the wild-eyed cowboys patrolling Yellowstone, protecting crossovers from demonic wolves on their trek to Shangra La.
Ep.5 – Caleb trains the woman who gave him mouth-to-mouth, her sister too. They are new to Shangra La; he’s helping them evolve. Year earlier, Caleb reveals his supernatural powers to Victoria. Present day, Comet falling from the sky and crashing into a swamp turns out to be the lead Necromancer.
Ep.6 Caleb’s two pupils save Victoria from a Feeder, take her home, begin teaching her how to live and evolve in Shangra La.
Ep.7 Caleb, infected by a Necromancer, turns evil. Fearing closure of the portals between worlds, the Feeders crossover to earth, take over a small town in Wyoming: killing everyone and assuming their shapes.
Ep.8 Year earlier, Caleb & V. go skinny dipping; take their feelings to the next level. Later, at the Halloween dance, Caleb is rufied by the school’s bad girl and macked on. Present day, Series of shots revealing Necros falling from the sky like comets.
Ep.9 Feeders take over the Wyoming state capitol, assume the identities of the governor and ranking officials. Rick, with the Riders protecting a group of crossovers, discovers his wife and daughter in with them. Victoria crosses over, goes to cabin, saves Caleb from Necro poison.
Ep.10 Caleb learns from Cindy he got her pregnant while possessed by the necro poison.
Gov. raids the vegan’s Montana compound, no one’s there. Televised live, raid is a failure.
Caleb senses the assassin. He stops time, leaves assassin a note, takes her wallet and leaves… Caleb is being hunted by a professional assassin.
Page 8 Five Seasons Descriptions (Lesson 3)
Season One Beginning: The discovery of Shangra La, a parallel earth, where emotion and art reign supreme, where technology and machinery cannot exist, there are a few humans who are able to travel between realms and explore a world where their senses are heightened and the meaning of time does not exist. Shangra La has a dark side in the form emotional vampires who prey upon earthlings. Drained of all emotion and memory, humans are cast back to earth as vagrants without hope or memory.
Season Five Ending: After treachery on both sides, Earth and Shangra La combine forces to fight an evil which threatens to annihilate both worlds. Several factions from both earth and Shangra La have gone rogue and set up kingdoms of their own. Bloodshed on a global scale ensues. The Necromancers come perilously close to eradicating both worlds. Their demise leaves both realms decimated. Only the Old South emerges unscathed. Its leader, a Southern belle with an accent and flowers in her hair, has a secret. And as she steps into the role of the new republic’s President, it all unravels as Natalie uses her paintbrush and easel to reveal the unforgiveable.
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Syd’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation M2_L7
5. What I learned doing this assignment is that 1) this is an endless assignment that could result in 20+ seasons and/or spin offs. Specifically, I need to limit to building out a main character’s story line. Some secondaries storylines need to be built up. There are two characters that got left out that I must include. I’m giving the abbreviated version.
4. Use in TV Pitch Bible:
Bhadrabahu’s storyline — both his support of the father who disowned him and how that drives him to success; his hidden opium addiction and will put Charita in danger.
Veer’s storyline — his conflict, he worked all his life to be an honorable man, now he’s seen as a criminal; he wants to avenge his brother, but it will only look like a power-grab
Use in Episodes:
Gauri and Sugith are two secondary characters whose unique journeys bring them together.
Chenghua showed up.
Anala’s interventions — she appears to support the infant crown prince, but believes that Veer, is obviously a better choice; Anala’s and Veer’s romance — they had a past relationship, but he wasn’t the right class, now she’s married to someone else.
Rajendra’s addiction to jewel theft, and how he uses it; his confusion about his own actions—he’s compassionate towards children who’ve been manipulated; he believes the throne was taken from him, but others don’t see it
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Wayne’s TV Pitch Bible Investigation
What I learned doing this assignment is how to dig deeper into the characters and subplots of my show to create integrated layers and more subplots.
Mike:
How to better highlight his desire for a family? i.e. Desae sees how he loves his mother, how he looks at the pictures/video of Samantha, etc.
What other fears does Mike have deep down? What happened to him throughout his first 24 years? What has he told HAL (who might tell Desae)? Fodder for intimate discussions, etc.Desae:
How will it be revealed that she believes that Logard sent Mike to/for her? How will Mike discover she believes this?
She fears Mike leaving her: Somehow return to Earth, be captured/killed by authorities, run away to hide in the wilderness, etc.Nome:
What will he do to show his love for Mike? (Sing the “Togetherness” song), etc.
How does he help? How does he unintentionally cause a major problem?Yardas:
How might we have doubts about her sanity/integrity/capabilities?
How might we display her depths despite an outward appearance of being ditsy.Ben, (Bendimus)
How do we expose that he’s friends with Amixmu?
What ways can we add disparaging views (like he’s setting them up, has desires for Desae, etc.)
How reveal, when, and to whom, showing his actual intentions of looking out for Desae and why?
How, when, to whom first does he confess he was the SF infiltrator ratting out the believers group.
How to most effectively reveal Ben’s back story falling in love with Yardas, resigning his position in Amixmu’s SF team, buying a farm, and allowing Desae to work off ownership of a portion for her self?
Does Ben have some distant past knowledge about Amixmu that can influence him?Amixmu:
There’s some back story such as he was in the victorious Army (or maybe the losing army) when he was very young, during the last war resulting in “The Unity,” this current all-powerful atheistic government of all Romal.
What was the personal relationship between Amixmu and Ben when Ben was one of his lower ranking Security Force members?Romal:
What is the history of Romal? How did it become officially atheistic?
What about the secret “Believers” society underground?
What are they doing since the raid that killed Desae’s betrothed, (Nome’s father)?
What is the effect of an “alien invader” (and possibly scout for an invasion) done to Romali society?
What physical, social, humanoid nature is profoundly different from Earth?
What is the unique language structure of Romali language? I.e., Verb, Subject, <cluck> Object.Computer Scientist: (we need to give him/her a name)
Back story before frustration in trying to analyze HAL or get the AIU to respond in any way?HAL:
How, when programed and under what main directives?
Programed for protections and to “do no harm” HAL actually has no feelings.
HAL trigital computer systems AI that is superior to HAL’s self.
The new AI is designed to be the onboard computer for Teri’s mission to Earth.
HAL and his original design will eventually team up against an even more superior AI that Romali creates from HAL’s design.Any number of other possibilities will grow from implementing some/all of the above.
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