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Day 10 Assignments
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DAY 10 – ASSIGNMENT
Subject Line: Alan’s Trust Relationships
What I learned is: Trust / Distrust was not an area I ever focused on. Great addition to the tool kit. (Thanks!)
1. Make a list of the main characters.
Hero: Jay Crockett
Villain: Rolex Creep (Orlando Skoda)
Red Herring Character: None yet.
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Erin Raynor
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Lacy Crockett
Isn’t trusted, but should be: Quinn
2. With each character, ask these questions:
A. What is their basic state — trustable or not trustable?
B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable?
C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from one to the other?
Hero: Jay Crockett
A. Trustable
B. Appears Not Trustable because of doppelganger trafficker
C. None – unwavering
Villain: Rolex Creep (Orlando Skoda)
A. Not Trustable
B. Fakes being a nice guy to roofie Erin
C. If caught, might flip on his gang
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Erin Raynor
A. Trustable
B. Makes rash decisions, but her ulterior motives are to protect Jay.
C. To save herself
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Lacy Crockett
A. Not Trustable
B. Has a long history with Jay, but has been lying to him
C. Money – law school tuition
Isn’t trusted, but should be: Quinn
A. Trustable
B. Arrests Jay twice
C. Does things in the best interest of society, which isn’t always best for Jay
3. With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.
Hero / Villain: Jay / Orlando – Feels like Distrust the whole way.
Hero / Red Herring Character: None
Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Jay / Erin – Erin might choose her own safety. Jay might choose Holly’s safety over Erin’s.
Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Jay / Lacy – Is Lacy really pulling law school all-nighters or is she cheating on Jay?
Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: Jay / Quinn – Quinn acts in the public good, which isn’t always the best for
Jay.4. Create a sequence for each trust/distrust relationship (like I did with Three Days of The Condor) and then add that to your map.
Hero / Villain: Jay / Orlando
1. Distrust: Jay / Orlando – Jay sees Orlando put white powder in Erin’s drink.
2. Distrust: Jay / Orlando – Orlando threatens to kill Jay.
3. Distrust: Jay / Orlando – Jay learns Orlando is abducting girls for a dark web sex trafficking gang. Orlando’s gang abducted Holly.
Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Jay / Erin
1. Trust: Jay / Erin – Jay sees neighbor girl, Erin, being roofied and saves her.
2. Distrust Jay / Erin – Erin wears a wire for the police to entrap Jay.
3. Trust: Jay / Erin – Jay & Erin review mugshots to catch the traffickers.
4. Distrust: Jay / Erin – Erin orders Jay to leave and not come back.
5. Trust: Jay / Erin – They learn the trafficker’s been murdered, so they review more mugshots for the police.
6. Trust: Jay / Erin – They scheme to sneak to Mexico away together.
7. Distrust: Jay / Erin – Erin blindsides Jay by agreeing to bait for the FBI.
8. Trust: Jay / Erin – Jay & the FBI save Erin from the traffickers.
Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Jay / Lacy
1. Trust: Jay / Lacy – They’ve been married for three years.
2. Distrust: Jay / Lacy – Lacy often doesn’t come home claiming to be studying for law school.
3. Distrust: Jay / Lacy – Lacy moves out without talking to Jay.
4. Trust: Jay / Lacy – They’re both worried about Holly.
5. Distrust: Jay / Lacy – Lacy forged Jay’s signature to get her law school paid for by Jay’s dad.
Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be: Jay / Quinn
1. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn comes to investigate who roofied Erin.
2. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn arrests Jay.
3. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn releases Jay from jail.
4. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn arrests Jay, again.
5. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn releases Jay. She’s only trying to find Holly.
6. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Jay needs Quinn to vouch for him at work, but there is no Detective Quinn on the Denver police force, so Jay loses his job.
7. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn is a Special Agent for the FBI leading a joint task force with the Denver Police Department.
8. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn saves Jay from the brothel thug.
9. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Jay hates that Quinn wants to use Erin as bait.
10. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn convinces Erin to be bait for the FBI.
11. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn kills Orlando and Finn, saving Erin.
5. Give us the new version of your Thriller Map.
Villain’s Plan 1 -Lure Holly Sampson by offering to smoke the ‘world’s best weed’ with her, roofie her, and abduct her.
OPENING: After having dinner with Jay, Holly Sampson sneaks away to share the world’s best weed, but instead, gets roofied and abducted.
TWIST 1:
· Direction: Holly expects to enjoy smoking weed.
· Twist: Holly gets roofied and abducted.
1. Trust: Jay / Lacy – They’ve been married for three years.
Mystery 1: Who abducted Holly and where did they take her?
2. Distrust: Jay / Lacy – Lacy often doesn’t come home claiming to be studying for law school.
Villain’s Plan 2: At a bar, a trafficker roofies Erin Raynor and plans to abduct her.
Life Threatening 2: A trafficker drugs Erin with a date-rape drug and tries to abduct her.
1. Distrust: Jay / Orlando – Jay sees Orlando put white powder in Erin’s drink.
1. Trust: Jay / Erin – Jay sees neighbor girl, Erin, being roofied and saves her.
TWIST 2:
· Direction: Jay saves a roofied Erin from being raped by the Rolex Creep.
· Twist: The Rolex Creep threatens to kill Jay.
2. Distrust: Jay / Orlando – Orlando threatens to kill Jay.
Life Threatening 3: The trafficker threatens to kill Jay for saving Erin.
Mystery 2: Who roofied Erin and why did he threaten Jay’s life?
1. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn comes to investigate who roofied Erin.
2. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn arrests Jay.
3. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn releases Jay from jail.
TWIST 3:
· Direction: Jay walks Erin home, shoves her in the house to protect her.
· Twist: Erin was wearing a police wire to entrap Jay.
2. Distrust Jay / Erin – Erin wears a wire for the police to entrap Jay.
4. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn arrests Jay, again.
Life Threatening 4: The police arrest Jay for Holly’s abduction and jail him.
Life Threatening 5: Madison Hansen is molested by her stepfather.
Mystery 3: Where is runaway Madison going?
Villain’s Plan 3: Traffickers stake out the Denver bus stop hunting for runaways. They find 13 year-old Madison there all alone and offer to buy her lunch. After a nice lunch, they offer her a place to stay. She accepts. They abduct her and plan to sell her to a brothel.
TWIST 4:
· Direction: A good Samaritan buys Madison lunch and offers her a place to stay.
· Twist: The good Samaritan is actually a sex trafficker.
Life Threatening 6: A trafficker takes Madison to their hideout and locks her up with several other girls.
INCITING INCIDENT: Jay learns Holly’s been abducted and wants to help rescue her.
5. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn releases Jay. She’s only trying to find Holly.
3. Trust: Jay / Erin – Jay & Erin review mugshots to catch the traffickers.
4. Distrust: Jay / Erin – Erin orders Jay to leave and not come back.
3. Distrust: Jay / Lacy – Lacy moves out without talking to Jay.
TWIST 5:
· Direction: Police are sure they can learn Holly’s whereabouts from the trafficker.
· Twist: The trafficker is found dead in a park gully.
Life Threatening 7: The trafficker Jay identified is found dead in a park gully the next morning.
4. Trust: Jay / Lacy – They’re both worried about Holly.
5. Trust: Jay / Erin – They learn the trafficker’s been murdered, so they review more mugshots for the police.
5. Distrust: Jay / Lacy – Lacy forged Jay’s signature to get her law school paid for by Jay’s dad.
TWIST 6:
· Direction: Jay needs Detective Quinn to vouch for him at work.
· Twist: There is no Detective Quinn in the Denver police dept. Jay gets fired.
6. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Jay needs Quinn to vouch for him at work, but there is no Detective Quinn on the Denver police force.
7. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn is a Special Agent for the FBI leading a joint task force with the Denver Police Department.
Life Threatening 8: Traffickers auction Holly and Erin on the dark web.
TURNING POINT 1: Holly’s one of a recent bevy of girls that’ve been abducted by a sophisticated sex trafficking ring that plans to auction her to the highest bidder on the dark web.
Mystery 4: How can they get Holly back?
3. Distrust: Jay / Orlando – Jay learns Orlando is abducting girls for a dark web sex trafficking gang. Orlando’s gang abducted Holly.
Life Threatening 9: The traffickers sell Madison and several other young girls to the trucker brothel and smuggle them to an Iowa truck stop.
TWIST 7:
· Direction: The police and Jay are sure they will rescue Holly in Iowa.
· Twist: Holly’s not there.
MIDPOINT: Holly wasn’t among the rescued girls sold to the Iowa truck brothel. Dark web auction bids for Holly sky-rocket.
Mystery 8: If not to Iowa, where did the traffickers take Holly?
Life Threatening 10: FBI agents learn Holly’s being shipped off to China.
Life Threatening 11: A truck brothel thug tries to kill Jay and abduct Erin.
TWIST 8:
· Direction: A truck brothel thug captures Jay and will kill him.
· Twist: The Denver detective kills the thug and saves Jay.
Life Threatening 12: The Denver detective shoots/kills the thug.
8. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn saves Jay from the brothel thug.
Villain’s Plan 4: Traffickers offer Erin Raynor a modeling job, which she accepts. They pick her up in a limo at the L.A. airport. But there is no modeling job. Instead Erin is locked in the back of the limo, which is totally insulated to prevent her from calling for help or being tracked. They smuggle her to a boat bound for China.
Life Threatening 13: Erin gets offered and unknowingly accepts a fake modeling job in Mexico.
9. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Jay hates that Quinn wants to use Erin as bait.
6. Trust: Jay / Erin – They scheme to sneak to Mexico away together.
TWIST 9:
· Direction: Erin agrees to sneak off to Mexico with Jay without telling the FBI.
· Twist: Erin changes her mind and agrees to be bait for the FBI without telling Jay.
Life Threatening 14: After learning it’s a fake, Erin agrees to be wired and tracked by the police as bait to catch the traffickers.
10. Distrust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn convinces Erin to be bait for the FBI.
7. Distrust: Jay / Erin – Erin blindsides Jay by agreeing to bait for the FBI.
TWIST 10:
· Direction: Erin is being tracked by the FBI and will lead them to Holly.
· Twist: The traffickers use a “shielded” limo and the limo garage.
Life Threatening 15: The traffickers outsmart the police by putting Erin in the back of a ‘shielded’ limo. The police tracking devices don’t work.
Villain’s Plan 5: Sell Holly and Erin on the dark web the highest bidder.
TWIST 11:
· Direction: Erin is directed to leave the limo for the photo shoot without any possessions wearing only a bikini.
· Twist: Erin hides her phone in her bikini bottom.
Life Threatening 16: Quinn kills two traffickers at the boat holding Erin and the other abducted women, but not Holly.
11. Trust: Jay / Quinn – Quinn kills Orlando and Finn, saving Erin.
8. Trust: Jay / Erin – Jay & the FBI save Erin from the traffickers.
Life Threatening 17: Holly is smuggled to China and sold on the dark web.
TWIST 12:
· Direction: Jay wins Holly’s auction and goes to pick her up.
· Twist: The traffickers deliver a lookalike instead of Holly.
TURNING POINT 2: Using his and Holly’s rich father’s money, Jay wins the bid to buy Holly back from the traffickers. But the traffickers bait and switch delivery of Holly with some other lookalike abducted girl.
Life Threatening 18: The traffickers double-cross the highest bidder, Jay. They bait and switch Holly for a lookalike abducted girl.
Mystery 6: Where did the traffickers take Holly now?
Life Threatening 19: The traffickers sell and smuggle Holly to a Beijing brothel.
Life Threatening 20: Jay and a security expert from Holly’s dad’s company go into the brothel to try to rescue Holly.
TWIST 13:
· Direction: Jay and the Security Guy walk out of the brothel.
· Twist: Holly is disguised as the Security Guy and escapes.
CLIMAX: Jay and Holly’s father’s security team pull a bait and switch on the Beijing Brothel to save Holly. Holly flies back to America, but Chinese police arrest Jay for sex trafficking her.
TWIST 14:
· Direction: Rescued from traffickers, Holly is going to fly home with Jay.
· Twist: Chinese police arrest Jay for trafficking Holly.
Mystery 7: How will Jay get out of Chinese prison?
RESOLUTION: With the FBI’s help, the Chinese release Jay and he flies to vacation in Hawaii with Erin.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Alan Larson.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by Alan Larson.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 11 months ago by
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DAY 10 ASSIGNMENT – TRUST AND BETRAYAL
Subject Line: Kim’s Trust and Betrayal
What I learned is: A character seems more interesting if their trust level is fluid, if they seem one thing but are capable of another.
VILLAIN’S EVIL PLAN: Lindsey plans to use Sage in her “research” and to attract wealthy creatives with mental illness to her center. Lindsey learns Sage stands to get a 7-figure book and movie deal and wants to position herself to access that money.
*OPENING: Sage working on her graphic novel. Manic. Losing her grip on reality.
SAGE’S SECRET: (SET-UP) Sage is seriously mentally ill.
SAGE’S MYSTERY: Why does Sage behave as she does?
SAGE’S EVENTS:
1. Sage’s mania as she works on her graphic novel.
2. Sage tells Carol she is taking her medication. We believe her.
3. Shares delusional beliefs with Carol. Carol observes Sage’s obsessive mania.
4. Sage flushes something down the toilet.
PLOT TWIST: Sage has been lying to her mother about taking her medication.
POTENTIAL DANGERS:
Sage’s vulnerable state of mind colors every decision she makes from the outset of the film.
TRUST:
Hero Sage
A. Basic State – Mostly trustworthy. She lies to her mother about her medication compliance. She steals money from her mother and Lindsey, but is otherwise trustworthy. Just don’t leave your wallet lying around in her presence.
B. Her condition makes her an unreliable protagonist. The audience can’t trust her perceptions or some events. Other characters view her as trusting and naive.
VILLAIN’S SECRET A: J.J.’s wife learns that 1: Sage’s mother has LPS conservatorship and 2: Sage stands to get a 7-figure book and movie deal from her graphic novel.
MYSTERY A: Who is J.J.’s wife? What does she want?
EVENTS A:
1. Phone call between J.J. and his wife sets up the motive and sets the plan in motion. The conversation is ambiguous.
PLOT TWIST A: Though the conversation doesn’t reveal it, we suspect J.J. and his wife may be involved in a ploy.
POTENTIAL DANGERS A:
1. Someone out for money and power is capable of anything, even murder.
2. Sage is at risk to lose everything, even her life.
3. Sage’s mother, Carol, is in danger too.
*INCITING INCIDENT: Lindsey stalks Sage at the Boardwalk, convinces Sage she’s being followed, and lures Sage away.
VILLAIN’S SECRET B: Lindsey plans to use Sage in her “research” and to attract wealthy creatives with mental illness to her center.
MYSTERY B: Why did Lindsey befriend Sage at the Boardwalk?
EVENTS B:
1. Lindsey appears seemingly out of nowhere.
2. Lindsey stalked the boardwalk ride and targeted Sage.
3. Two shadowy men follow Sage on the Boardwalk.
4. Lindsey convinces Sage she’s being followed and helps her elude the shadowy men by running into the huge parking lot.
TRUST:
Villain J.J.’s Wife/Lindsey
A. Basic State – Trusted by Sage, but shouldn’t be.
When Lindsey learns Sage is on the cusp of a 7-figure book and movie deal from husband and publisher, J.J.(Sage doesn’t know it yet). Lindsey lures Sage away from her mother, who has LPS conservatorship over Sage.
Lindsey, lures Sage to Los Angeles to her Center for wealthy creatives with mental illness. She convinces Sage she’s living in her graphic novel. In reality, Lindsey has staged a ruse that feeds into Sage’s paranoia and delusional state of mind, leading her to believe she’s living in her graphic novel.
Creates situations in which she appears to be helping Sage, but is luring her into a trap to gain access to her money.
B. Trusted by red herring Sven, but shouldn’t be. Trusted by her husband J.J. but shouldn’t be.
POTENTIAL DANGERS B:
1. Sage’s mental health is getting worse.
2. Sage is susceptible to Lindsey’s manipulation.
TWIST B: We believe Lindsey is helping Sage but Lindsey is manipulating her.
TRUST:
Publisher Jerome “J.J.” Jacobs:
A. Trustable, but appears untrustable. He appears involved in Lindsey’s ruse, but is unaware of what she’s doing until he uncovers her affair with Sven. Sage trusts him. He helps her.
B. He trusts his wife, Lindsey, but shouldn’t. He uncovers her affair with Sven and turns on her. He also assists Sage from the final story beats to the resolution.
VILLAIN’S SECRET C: Separate Sage from her mother so she is isolated and vulnerable. Take her to the treatment facility and lock her up.
MYSTERY C: Where’s my mother? Where’s my daughter?
EVENTS C:
1. Sage is distressed that Carol may be dead, but fears the police won’t believe her.
2. With nowhere else to go, Sage goes with Lindsey.
3. Carol discovers Sage is missing and goes to the police.
4. The police dismiss Carol’s concerns while Sage is in danger.
POTENTIAL DANGERS C:
1. Distressed by Carol’s disappearance, Sage exhibits poor judgment, makes poor decisions.
2. Lindsey sets up a ruse to make Sage believe it is her idea to go with Lindsey.
3. Without Carol, Sage has no allies so relies on Lindsey.
4. Carol fears Sage has been kidnapped, but the police dismiss her concerns. They know Sage from prior incidents.
5. Carol must investigate, but a run-in with Lindsey could cost Carol her life.
TWIST C: We believe Sage is going to walk away from Lindsey after she learns her mother is missing. Instead, believing Lindsey is helping her, Sage asks to go with Lindsey.
TRUST: Carol is trustworthy throughout Sage’s journey. Perhaps I should present a situation in which Carol does something to violate Sage’s trust while believing she’s doing the right thing.
*TURNING POINT 1 (call to action): Sage asks to go with Lindsey. They begin their journey.
VILLAIN’S SECRET D: Lindsey plans to use Sage in her research at the Center in Los Angeles. She needs to bring her there.
MYSTERY D: What is this place? Why am I here? Wait, what -– you’re leaving me here?
POTENTIAL DANGERS D:
1. The inside of the Center is a simulation of Sage’s graphic novel. Sage doesn’t understand what is happening or why.
2. Lindsey drops Sage off and mentions Sven.
3. Sage is distressed at Lindsey’s leaving.
4. The security guard has handcuffs.
5. When Sage tries to leave, Beverly and Paul threaten her with hard restraints.
TWIST D: Lindsey takes Sage to the Center and leaves her there under Sage’s protests, revealing that she’s not Sage’s ally after all. Up to this point, we saw her as a helper.
*MIDPOINT: Sage believes she is living in her graphic novel — that she is their prophet. Sage sees/hears a popular rapper who has had a very public battle with mental illness. He’s in terrible shape, begging for help and at risk for suicide. Sage begins to suspect Lindsey is playing her. But are her suspicions just more paranoia and delusion?
VILLAIN’S SECRET E: Lindsey created a simulation of Sage’s graphic novel to plunge Sage further into her delusional state.
MYSTERY E: Is Sage really living in her graphic novel?
EVENTS E:
1. Sage faces her graphic novel villain, Sven, who tries to force her to rewrite the outcome of the battle in her novel.
2. Sven has Sage tased, brutalized by his thuggish guards.
3. Sage finds the “Portal to Hell” from her graphic novel.
4. Sage sees Sven after he’s dumped something into the portal.
TWIST E: The “Portal to Hell” is actually an incinerator. Sven may be disposing of victims.
TRUST:
Red Herring Character Sven
A. Not trustworthy. He tortures Sage. He would sell Lindsey out to save himself. She would do the same. Since they’re “in love,” they want to believe.
POTENTIAL DANGERS E:
1. Sven’s tactics might kill Sage (tasing, beating).
2. Sven might kill Sage if he’s found dumping something into the incinerator.
VILLAIN’ SECRET F: Staffers fear for their safety and careers, so they play along with Lindsey’s ruse to make Sage believe she is living inside her graphic novel.
MYSTERY F: Are the staff from inside the graphic novel, or are they role-playing?
EVENTS F:
1. Sage begins asking questions that can get her killed.
2. As Sage’s “therapist” is a key player in this game. She plays the role of J.J.’s editor, Diana.
TWIST F: Diana had played along with Lindsey’s drama plan, but she realizes it’s sinister and unethical and sneaks medication to Sage.
POTENTIAL DANGERS F:
People are at risk for being murdered to cover for Lindsey’s plans, including Sage.
TRUST:
Editor/Psychiatric Social Worker Diana:
A. Basic State Untrustable, then becomes trustable.
B. She first works with Lindsey in the graphic novel ruse. She realizes how damaging and unethical Lindsey’s “treatment” modality of withholding medication and feeding delusions is. She will help Sage by crossing Lindsey and sneaking medication to Sage to help her escape in Act 2-B.
*TURNING POINT 2: Sage sees Lindsey and Sven in a romantic moment. Sage finds Diana dead. Trey has hung himself. She’s terrified she’ll be next. Lindsey tells Sage her mother has been found, dead. Sage is now at the height of desperation.
VILLAIN’S SECRET G: Lindsey is the real villain, not graphic novel villain Sven. They killed Diana and were responsible for Trey’s “suicide.” We pursue the obvious, Sven’s graphic novel plan and his villain role, throughout the movie until we learn Lindsey is behind the whole thing.
MYSTERY G: Who is Lindsey? Who is Sven? Is J.J. involved?
EVENTS G:
1. Sage spies on them.
2. Sage breaks into Sven’s office.
3. Sage finds her phone, tries to contact her mother but it goes to voicemail.
4. Sage finds a gun in Sven’s desk drawer.
5. J.J. comes to the Center to investigate his suspicions that his wife, Lindsey, is having an affair with someone she works with.
6. Beverly and Paul don’t allow J.J. access, citing patient confidentiality.
7. Lindsey does a change of clothes and meets J.J. outside.
8. Sage sees them outside talking. Lindsey is in a lab coat.
TWIST G: Scroungy Lindsey from the boardwalk is actually the saavy, manipulative psychiatrist who runs the Center.
POTENTIAL DANGERS G:
1. Lindsey will kill to keep her affair with Sven secret. Sage has seen them together.
2. If her affair with Sven is found out, J.J. may cut Lindsey off from her lavish lifestyle by divorcing her or putting her in prison. Lindsey’s now at her apex of desperation.
3. Sage is locked away, desperate, with no one to help her.
*CLIMAX: Sage escapes the building, but Lindsey intercepts her, knocks her out, and drags her back to the Center. J.J. sneaks into the Center. Sven battles with J.J. and almost kills him. Sage kills Lindsey.
*RESOLUTION: Carol has found out where Sage is. The L.A.P.D. arrive. Carol and Sage reunite and go home.
Sage tries to draw but is uninspired, her affect flat. She looks at herself in the bathroom mirror, takes a pill from a bottle, raises it to her lips. Smash to black as we hear the toilet flush.
We’re led to believe that after Sage is safe at home with her mother, that she’ll be compliant with her medication and control her psychiatric symptoms.
TWIST: Despite her ordeal, Sage still believes that her medication to control her psychosis blunts her affect and kills her creativity and secretly disposes of her meds.
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KANNAN MENON; TRUST & BETRAYAL;ASSIGNMENT 10
What I learned doing this assignment was that you had to have your basic narrative outline structures to get an idea of relationships bubbling under the surface. I mean by that, that a character may be torn, trustworthy to a great extent, but having some major bad act in the past that makes him or her to have have divided loyalties and so betray the hero.
ASSIGNMENT
Create trust / distrust relationships between your characters and add them to your Thriller Map.
1. Make a list of the main characters.
True Hero: ASHA
(David’s wife)
Red Herring Hero: David.
He is trusted as the Hero by his wife (and the audience) but he
betrays his trust.
Villain: WAHID
(and his cohorts)
Red Herring Character:
[need a character how is
bossy and interfering so might be thought of as a credible villainous mastermind
but have not worked him in yet)
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Maria, David’s personal assistant is
trusted by ASHA but she is majorly obligated to David, so perhaps she
shouldn’t be trusted
Isn’t trusted, but should be:2. With each character, ask these questions:
ASHA: basically trustable;
A. What is their basic state — trustable or not
trustable?
B. How might they really be trustable, but appear not
trustable OR be not trustable, but appear trustable?
C. What circumstances might cause them to switch from
one to the other?3. With each character relationship, brainstorm how trust or distrust might show up between them.
Real Hero / Villain:
They don’t realize who each other are, but of course whenThey do, there is immense distrust as they were former lovers and each now thinks the other set them iup in some way.
Real Hero / Red Herring Hero: Asha does not know that David has in
fact developes acontinuing business relationship with the
Villain/Wahid. David eos not
realize that ASHA was Wahid’s former lover—when he does realize it, he uses
it to ascribe WAHID’s actions to jealousy, which he argues lets him shrug
off some of the responsibility with regards to his daughter.
Real Hero / Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Maria is trusted by ASHA but Maria is
obligated to DAVID.
Hero / Isn’t trusted, but should be:4. Create a sequence for each trust/distrust relationship (like I did with Three Days of The Condor) and then add that to your map.
5. Give us the new version of your Thriller Map.
NARRATIVE OUTLINE AND MAP ELEMENTS
Prologue: Mystery (why these murders?); Intrigue (money transfers).
A family in a rural Illinois home are massacred at night by a gang of killers from Malaysia led by Wahid and his lieutenant Wong. A minute after the killers leave, DAVID (“Red Herring Hero”) shows up and and discovers the body. He searches the house, but the killers have apparently taken what he is looking for.
Scene 1: Intrigue (Are Asha and Maria plotting something?);
TRUST: Both women appear to trust each other
ASHA and MARIA (David’ Secretary) have lunch in a midtown public space with deserted streets. Both are from Malaysia. ASHA expresses some concerns about DAVID behaviour of late. MARIA reassures her.
Scene 2: Intrigue:
WAHID and WONG tape a robocall-like recording to scare DAVID.
Scene 3: Mystery
Asha wakes up and discovers her husband is not home.
Scene 4: Suspense (will DAVID survive the mugging?)
Twist 1 (David is a street fighter and beats the muggers)
David wakes up on park bench and fends of two random muggers.
Scene 5:
Asha makes sure her daughter is set up to attend remote classes.
Scene 6: Mystery (who’s surveilling David);
Suspense (How’s he going to get into his office);
Twist 2: David outwits the FEDS
David discovers his midtown office is under surveillance, he assumes, by the FEDS, but he stages a diversion to get inside and also get hold of the agent’s camera which contains pictures of the massacre described in the Prologue.
Scene 7: Suspense (the robocall);
Intrigue (David is a con man?)
ASHA is gets a robocall on her home landline which threatens DAVID if he does not agree to repay certain stolen funds.
Scene 8: Suspense (Will David escape?)
Twist 3 (David again outwits the Feds)
DAVID leaves the office and escapes from more FEDS in a car by running into a multiple line subway interchange.
Scene 9: Mystery (who is providing air cover for W&W)
WAHID & WONG are enjoying a room service breakfast in Wahid’s hotel room when “the Big Boss” calls them with instructions. The “Big Boss” of Malaysia is visiting Washington to secretly play golf with the POTUS to seek help in regaining to power in Malaysia after he lost the 2019 election.
ACT TWO
Scene 10: MYSTERY: (Why did David fly to O’Hare Airport 2 days ago and is his business collapsing?)
TRUST: ASHA’s trust in MARIA strengthens
ASHA calls David’s assistant Maria at home to ask Maria if she knows where David is. MARIA explains David bought a ticket to O’Hare for 2 nights ago and a return for last night. MARIA also tells Asha that David is really busy and his business is flourishing and that he has an appointment today, with a WAHID & new clients, she believes who must be Malaysian.
Scene 11: Intrigue (tracking DAVID);
W&W discuss how to track down David (office, first then other property assets in the region). Reinforcements show up at WAHID’s room.
Scene 12: INTRIGUE (ASHA’s past with WAHID comes back)
MYSTERY (Why does DAVID have an appointment with WAHID?)
MARIA tells Asha so she’s sure he will be there. Asha admits she knows Wahid… and that she introduced David to WAHID but DAVID has never mentioned him subsequently. She asks Maria to call her if she hears from David or from WAHID.
TRUST & BETRAYAL: DAVID’s hold over MARIA explained.
After Maria hangs up, DAVID shows up at her door. Turns out he paid for Maria’s trans surgery. He’s there to pick up (a large bag of hundreds (some of which he gives Maria) as a bonus. David begs Maria not to worry ASHA by giving her too much info. MARIA admits she told ASHA about his appointment with W&W.
Scene 13: MYSTERY (Why Are the FEDS after DAVID?)
Two Federal agents enter David’s office. They search everything including the computer which they try to fire up in vain, then unplug and bag it for removal.
Scene 12: Mystery (whose apartment is this)
TWIST 4: David’s side piece, with consequences.
David enters a large, high-end apartment. The view of Central Park West is spectacular. A pregnant [Asian/Hispanic/anglo?} woman comes out of a kitchen and embraces David.
INTRIGUE: David’s emergency plan.
David opens a secret safe/hiding place and collects passports, guns and money. The woman brings more suitcases stuffed with hundreds. He plays a game with her to pick a destination from five choices… She surprises him.
[NOTE: At what point does WAHID come to know that DAVID’S wife is ASHA, his former lover]
Scene 13: SUSPENSE (FEDS confront W&W’s group—how will it end?)
The 2 feds searching David’s office are suddenly beset by Wahid & Wong and their two goons with drawn guns pointing at each other and shouting loudly.
TWIST 5: The Feds and W&W group agree to cooperate
W&W have a cover story—that his group are Malaysian Special Branch (an elite intelligence unit like Scotland Yard’s Special Branch) on special assignment in the US, authorized at the highest levels of the US government. They claim their Big Boss is in DC playing golf with POTUS. The FEDS check back and agree to a limited cooperation. They will check with David’s secretary who is likely working at home—they found her address in the office. The FEDS will follow up with MARIA and brief W&W after.
Scene 14
ASHA looks in on her daughter working hard on math. She tells her daughter she’s going to do a couple of quick errands but will be back in twenty minutes.
Scene 15: Suspense (Will the FEDS arrest Maria?)
2 feds knock on Maria’s door. She answers the and the feds introduce themselves and ask her if she knows where David is? She says no, but lets them into the house to talk.
INTRIGUE (Who is watching the FED visit Maria)
Later the feds share the results of their conversation with WAHID but the don’t share the address, not realizing Wahid already has it.
Scene 16: Suspense/Intrigue (What is WAHID’s 2 prong-plan to get DAVID and how does he execute it?)
First: Wong and 2 of his minions kidnap ASHA’s daughter while ASHA is running her errands.
Second, that night, WAHID’s goons kidnap Maria despite her resolute struggle. She is taken to a safe house for interrogation.
Scene 17: Mystery (What happened to ASHA’s daughter?)
Asha finds her daughter gone. She calls the police. They take notes but they appear to believe the girl is with David. Asha then calls Maria, but no one picks up. She tries DAVID’s number but no one picks-up, but she leaves a terse msg.
Scene 18: INTRIGUE/SUSPENSE (Wahid ups the Ante)
Wahid calls David through WhatsApp as David is sharing coke with his girlfriend and tells him he has David’s daughter and he needs to make restitution of the money he has stolen from the Big Boss or arrange to transfer all the assets. If not both Maria and his daughter (who is in a cage next to a cage with a python)
Scene 19: TWIST 6 (David does a runner leaving ASHA to pick up the pieces and his daughter and MARIA to suffer their fates}
David calls Asha and tells her about their daughter. DAVID confesses to a pregnant girlfriend so that’s why he has to flee with her tho he feels bad about their daughter in Wahid’s hands.
TWIST 7 (ASHA surprises David)
ASHA tells DAVID that she used to be WAHID’s former lover until just before she met DAVID. David says somewhat releases him since he thinks WAHID is just taking revenge on ASHA for breaking up with him. ASHA asks him to set up a meeting with WAHID or tell her how to reach Wahid.
TWIST 8 (DAVID tries to ease his conscience)
DAVID TELS ASHA where he’s hiddens guns and money in the house. He reminds her he taught her how to drive and how to shoot when she first came to the US. [He gives her a quick brush-up lesson on how to shoot on their facetime call.— Maybe a scene where she goes to Manhattan shooting range and practices.]
TWIST 9 (ASHA find more helpful stuff)
ASHA finds along with guns and ammo, the SWISS numbered accounts where presumably DAVID’S loot is stashed. David also tells Asha his lawyer will call WAHID and arrange a meeting for ASHA.
Scene 20: INTRIGUE (Arrangements made by each of the parties)
WONG sets out meeting arrangements to ambush ASHA at their agreed-meeting place and discusses it with his gang.
DAVID and his girlfriend flee South to Mexico… or Puerto Rico.
Scene 21 CLIMAX. SUSPENSE (meeting between Asha and Wahid)
Night meeting between ASHA and WAHID at the golf course [after the golf cart chase] described above. WAHID explains that DAVID has been embezzling their ill-gotten gains and he blames ASHA for introducing DAVID to him. He demands that ASHA persuade DAVID to return as much of the money and assets as he has diverted or otherwise help him to catch David or she will ever see her daughter again.
ASHA says all she can offer are the numbered Swiss accounts where David has been stashing the diverted funds.
W&W agree to give Asha 24 hours to transfer the money to accounts he controls (he gives her the information) or her daughter will permanently disappear.
Just as they appear to have reached agreement the FEDS stumble on the group and a wild shoot out emerges. Asha dives into the pond while the FEDS and W&W are all killed.
ASHA searches W&W’s bodies and discovers where the kids is being held. She goes there by herself, searches the premises and finds her daughter. All is Well.
GOLF CART CHASE
DAVID recklessly maneuvers a golf cart through the woods surrounding the course at the highest rate of speed the cart can managed.. He is being followed by a pair of guys on another cart. They make it through the woods behind him but as they come out of the trees, they are unaware there is a pond immediately ahead, so they drive right into it. The cart comes to a sudden stop in the mud of the pond, and flips over, trapping the 2 men under water so they drown. David watches this from just beyond the trees, then proceeds on his way to where David’s lawyer David Hollis is playing golf, next to a small pond. Hollis tells him to give his number to whoever’s running his pursuers. Hollis feels confident he can arrange a deal. But he tells DAVID that his rates are higher for high risk work.
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Sandra’s Trust Relationships
What I learned is that building in trust/distrust makes the plot more believable and helps add empathy for the victims.
1. Make a list of the main characters.
Hero:
Max
Villain:
Lilith
Red Herring Character: Victor
Trusted, but shouldn’t be: Lilith
Isn’t trusted, but should be: Celine<div>2. With each character, ask these questions:
Max – trustable but can appear not trustable because of his show of wealth and power.
Could switch if under extreme fear or felling of loss of control.
Lilith – non trustable – appear trustable with her sweet and naïve veneer.
She would switch to trustable only if it benefits her.
Victor – non trustable – is really trustable but has been conned/used by Lilith to carry out her dirty work.
He might switch if his life or well-being is threatened.
Celine – trustable. She might switch to non trustable to cover up for Lilith.
Hero/Villain/ trusted but shouldn’t be
Max/Lilith
TRUST: Lilith is his only child and has never hurt him before. Yes, she asks for money, but he believes only because she needs it.
DISTRUST: She uses her position as his daughter to get information about his fears.
Hero/Red Herring Character/trusted but shouldn’t be
Max/Victor
TRUST Max trusts Victor because he seems polite and non-threatening and is dating his daughter.
DISTRUST Victor’s allegiance is to Lilith and is passive so will do anything she asks of him.
Thriller Map with Trust/Distrust added
OPENING Creepy sounds coming from a museum object.
INCITING INCIDENT
Max purchases a rare manuscript that has a history of being cursed.
Life Threatening 1
Is the manuscript really cursed?
Villain’s Plan 1
His daughter discovers he has purchased the piece and starts thinking of how to manipulate him in order to get money from him
TRUST: Lilith is his only child and has never hurt him before. Yes, she asks for money, but he believes only because she needs it.
DISTRUST: She uses her position as his daughter to get information about his fears.
Mystery 1 Why is music playing without anyone near the piano?
Villain’s Plan 2
She pretends to offer help by enlisting a Shaman to quell the curse.
TWIST 1 (new consequences emerge)
Direction: A Shaman comes to the house to try to quell the evil spirit.
Twist: The attempt doesn’t work and the Shaman does damage to the home in the process.
Life Threatening 3
Her friend suggests more life-threatening tactics to scare him further – now his physical life is in danger.
Mystery 2 How did the words “Satan Rules” get on the manuscript?
Max/Victor
TRUST Max trusts Victor because he seems polite and non-threatening and is dating his daughter.
DISTRUST Victor’s allegiance is to Lilith and is passive so will do anything she asks of him.
TWIST 2 (it just got more dangerous)
Direction: Max thinks he sees someone with a gun in his house.
Twist: He shoots into the darkness and narrowly misses Celine.
Life Threatening 4
Now Max thinks he is being taunted by Satan.
TURNING POINT
Max’s wife dies of apparently natural causes.
Life Threatening 5
Max is now more vulnerable. His daughter offers to move in with him to keep him company.
Mystery 3: Why is Maxim waking up to see the shadow of a figure claiming to be a dead poet?
Life Threatening 7
Now she has more control over the house and his mental state.
Villain’s Plan 3
She starts planting various devices around the house to scare Max.
Life Threatening 8
Max thinks he is going crazy but doesn’t know who to turn to.
Mystery 4: How did the fire start when the Shaman was trying to quell the spirit?
TWIST 3 (lost their resources)
Direction: Max wants to pull his money out of Bitcoin.
Twist: Bitcoin crashes
Life Threatening 9
Max attempts suicide.
TWIST 4 (A lie is uncovered)
Direction: Lilith feels responsible for her father’s demise and feels guilty.
Twist: Lilith confesses to her involvement with the cons and setups.
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