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Lesson 9
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Bill Southwell re-writes Scene2
LOGLINE: Ext. Day. Backyard of John’s upscale home
ESSENCE: Two men trying to extract information from each other
SCENE:
John just sits down in his lounge chair by his backyard pool on Saturday afternoon and sets a cool drink on the table. The patio sliding door is open so he hears clearly the doorbell ring, but he hesitates to get up. Finally, after the third ring, he shouts, daring the visitor to enter.
JOHN
I’M IN THE BACKYARD. IF IT’S IMPORTANT, COME IN.
The door opens and Nick comes to the backyard carrying a briefcase and a newspaper. The yard is orderly, and the pool water is clear. There is no evidence of a wife or children.
NICK
Hello, my name is Nick Foster.
How are you today?
Nick hands John the folded newspaper he found on the driveway.
JOHN
As you can see, I am relaxing and
Not wishing to be disturbed!
NICK
I understand. I will just take a moment of your time.
JOHN
By the way. I always throw this newspaper in the recycle bin.
It is full of crap. I never read it. They won’t stop sending it.
NICK
Sorry. ‘just wanted to give you something—to warm up our conversation.
JOHN
You are not here to give me anything.
You are here to get something from me.
Probably my money or my vote. Which is it?
Nick laughs, but accepts the challenge of John’s belligerence.
NICK
Neither. I have something that you will enjoy reading.
Nick opens his briefcase.
JOHN
Wait. Before you go any further, I’m not interested.
NICK
You can’t say that. You haven’t seen what it is I bring you.
Nick hands John a brochure but John doesn’t look at it.
NICK
Nick looks around the back yard and pool.
I can see you are doing well for yourself. What is your household income?
JOHN
That is none of your business.
Nick
It helps me to know which program I present to you.
I would not offer something that would be a hardship for you.
John is determined not to reveal this information to someone he doesn’t know.
JOHN
Why don’t you tell me how much you are planning to make from me on
whatever it is you are selling? Tell me. I’d like to know.
NICK
What I have for you is going to save you tons of money
JOHN
Yeah. Sure. Tell me what your cut is.
NICK
This is the deal. I represent the Sunrise Solar Systems.
With this system installed on your house you will never pay an electricity bill again.
JOHN
You know what? I really doubt that!
NICK
How much do you now pay for electricity?
JOHN
I am not going to tell you that!
NICK
But I must know so I can show you how much you will save?
Imagine. What will you do with the money you now pay for electricity?
JOHN
I will set up an electric fence to keep salesmen off my property.
NICK
You don’t understand. I’m here to help you. Right now, there
are government rebates that will soon be gone. You don’t want to pass this up.
John is getting more and more irritated.
JOHN
LOOK! IF I WERE to buy solar panels, I would get them from my sister’s husband. I certainly would not buy them from some door-to-door punk.
NICK
What company does he represent? The Sunrise system is much more efficient.
That will save you lots more in the long run.
JOHN
That does not matter. I would keep it in the family.
NICK
Just tell me your annual electricity bill—and I will prepare a plan
That, I am confident, you will like—when you see how much you save.
JOHN
NO! I will not tell you that! Not until you tell me how much you make off this scam.
By now Nick is also irritated.
John gets up off his lounge and gives Nick a strong shove.
NICK
OK, OK! I get to keep the down payment check you give me today.
JOHN
I thought so, you conniving scum!
John gives Nick another shove. This time Nick falls into the pool.
Fight ensures.
End of Scene.
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