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Lesson 9
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4 Replies
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Tim Barley’s Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is that it is MUCH MORE GEARED TOWARD film than TV and it doesn’t really offer up a patch for those of us without much “credibility.” That being said, I did the best I could.
I chose to use the strategy of leading with a great/unique title that has a high concept:
“Hello, my name is Tim Barley and I’ve written a new pilot called “Decendence.” It’s a modern day story that answers the question, “what really happened in the Garden of Eden?”
* The budget range is $2.5 – $3.5 million per episode.
* For main roles, the main roles (Alex, Feenix, Allistar and Victor) should all be non-household names so as not to distract from the storyline. Ancillary roles, such as the leaders of each faction, CAN be bigger names and more mature actors. (Note: this also lessons talent cost)
* The script is a standard 1-hour drama single camera 50-55 pages.
* The script and idea are fresh and have not been presented yet.
* It fits your company because it is similar to well-received projects that you have done in the past.
* The end of this season sees a climatic battle and resolve to get to the bottom of everything, leading us into Season 2…
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by Timothy Barley. Reason: Finishing up the lesson
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
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Avi Kapurala’s Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is: It’s essential to remember the basics of your plot and figure out the best hooks. Not easy!
1. Tell us which of the four strategies you are going to use to open your pitch:
#4- Lead with a High Concept
2. Give us your script for phone call pitches, like I did above.
Hi, I’m Avi Kapurala and I have a thriller script about a billionaire serial killer on a mission. Picture Bobby Axelrod-meets-Dexter.
3. Give us a one or two sentence answer to the questions a producer may ask:
What’s the budget range? Similar to Billions.
Who do you see in the main roles?
Protagonist: Tom Hardy, Michael Fassbender, Liam Hemsworth, Richard Madden, Kit Harrington.
Antagonist: Donald Glover, Aaron Perry Taylor-Johnson, Riz Ahmed, Nick Hoult, Jonah Hill, Jesse Eisenberg.
Female Lead: Priyanka Chopra, Emilia Clarke, Eiza Gonzalez, Anna Paquin, Blake Lively.
How many pages is the script? 57.
Who else has seen this? My writer’s group.
Why do you think this fits our company? Because you’ve produced (a) similar thriller(s) insert name, which I loved.
How does the movie end?
Setup: Billionaire venture-capitalists Viktor and Maya Brazhinsky take down David Richardson, the man who raped Maya as a teen. His fall destroys his company, resulting in massive losses to billionaire Jacob Swanson, the main investor in Richardson’s new venture, and Viktor and Maya’s friend-turned-enemy. Jacob vows revenge on Viktor and uncovers a secret that he can use to destroy Viktor—he’s a serial killer.
Payoff: Maya and Viktor hatch a devious counterplot to destroy Jacob and kill him before he can expose Viktor.
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P.G. Sundling’s Phone Pitch
4. Answer the question “What I learned from this lesson is…?” and place that at the top of your work.
Focusing on just the most important stuff, the pitch sounds so much more solid.
1. Tell us which of the four strategies you are going to use to open your pitch:
Lead with credibility.
Lead with a great title.
Lead with a strong business hook.
Lead with a High Concept.
I will lead with credibility, mentioning the great title as part of that, which will lead into the high concept. So I’ll use two of these techniques, but include three of them in the pitch.
2. Give us your script for phone call pitches, like I did above.
“Hi, I’m P.G. Sundling. I worked for Universal, Disney, and Sony for 14 years, mostly working on tools to manage the movies and TV shows on the PlayStation store. I’m the award-winning author of the None of the Above series that I’d like to adapt for TV. When non-politician James Wong changes his name to None of the Above and runs for president, can he become the right person to stop doomsday?”
3. Give us a one or two sentence answer to the questions a producer may ask:
What’s the budget range?
$4-$6 million per episode, more for season finale
Who do you see in the main roles?
Chris Pang of “Crazy Rich Asians” for None
Blood & Treasure lead Sofia Pernas for MJ
Randall Park of “Fresh Off the Boat” for Shen
Michelle Yeoh as Mrs. Wong
How many pages is the script?
62 pages
Who else has seen this?
Thousands have copies of the 1st edition book. I’ve gotten feedback from at least a dozen people to improve the script. You’re the first to see the current screenplay version.
Why do you think this fits our company?
You produce unconventional science fiction and None of the Above is a perfect example of that.
How does the movie end?
An assassination attempt puts None in a coma.
A heavily-armed White House attack leaves dozens dead. It culminates in a powered armor battle with MJ and a Russian spy.
MJ kisses None, her first romantic kiss. He comes out of a coma with a brain injury.
This brain injuries sets up a brain implant which is crucial to stopping the apocalypse in season 2.
A happy ending for None and MJ leads to dire consequences. If he stays happy, the world will end. He has to go through trials to be the person who can stop the apocalypse.
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Wendy Weising’s Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is that I have to rely on my title and concept because I don’t have connections.
Write out your phone pitch along with answers to the questions.
Hi, I’m Wendy Weising, and I have a female-driven sci-fi series called Space Blind.
1. Tell us which of the four strategies you are going to use to open your pitch:
Concept and title
2. Give us your script for phone call pitches, like I did above.
Hi, I’m Wendy Weising, and I have a female-driven sci-fi series called Space Blind.
When a mother wakes up in a hospital manacled and the staff tells her she has no children, she escapes her room only to find that staff members are human-consuming aliens, patients are food, and her kids are in a facility fifty miles away. In trying to save her kids, she saves the human race.
3. Give us a one or two sentence answer to the questions a producer may ask:
What’s the budget range? Mid Budget: $15 million to $30 million
Who do you see in the main roles?
Meryl Streep as Dr. Jones
Molly Parker as Jane March
Younger new actors in other roles
How many pages is the script? The script is 60 pages.
Who else has seen this?
Why do you think this fits our company? I have not seen sci-fi series with and entire cast of female characters who are strong and willing to fight.
How does the movie end?
In the last episode, Jane commands a space ship that lands on a new planet where they believe they’ve found a cure. But when they disembark, they don’t see the last person to leave—Dr. Jones.
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