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Lesson 7
Reply to post your assignment.
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5 Replies
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Tim Barley’s Query Letter
What I learned from this assignment is that it’s great to finally see all the building blocks put together in something tactile.
Letter:
What if I told you that the story of the Garden of Eden is not our beginning of OUR story, but the chilling climax of another?
Enter a world of hidden forces, supernatural entities, magic and super science lurking behind the facade of modern-day L.A. “Decendence” is the story of Alex Powers, the most powerful being alive. He’s just unaware of it. “Good enough” at everything he does, Alex has settled into the apathy of a 30-something uninterested stoner corporate drone. And that’s fine with him. But, there are many groups and beings from the unseen world who DO know who and what Alex is:
· Gemma, a wise, enchanting, and ass-kicking enchantress with a deep connection to Alex’s destiny, knows a LOT about Alex and his life.
· Her brother, Tyler, a covert guardian masquerading as Alex’s neighbor, now succumbing to the hedonistic temptations of LA’s dark side, has watched him all his life, but as of late seems to be succumbing to the hedonistic temptations of LA’s dark side.
· Victor, a shadowy prince to a shadowier cabal rivalry of Gemma and Tyler, whose allegiances seem to be unclear.
· And Billy, the enigmatic intern, oldest being on the planet, and observer of the unfolding chaos with an inscrutable agenda as guardian or a manipulator.
Everyone wants to “help” Alex learn to control his rapidly flourishing power for their own motives. But, ancient rivalries die hard, as to ancient politics and feuds. And they aren’t the only things after Alex’s power. As Alex’s true power emerges, it’s a race against time to shield him from the sinister darkness that lurks in the shadows
Submerge yourself in “Decendence,” a gripping tale of power, destiny, and the battle to forge one’s identity in a world teeming with deception and darkness.
If you are interested, I’d be happy to send you the pilot and bible.
Tim Barley
1644 Hermosa Ave, 9
Hermosa Beach, CA 90254
(310) 808-7923
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Avi Kapurala’s Query Letter
What I learned doing this assignment is: It’s important to keep it simple, as the lesson says. Making the letter too dense might lose the reader. I’ll be looking to trim mine down as much as possible.
Last night, Viktor Brazhinsky murdered Claire Logan. That took his kill count to 25. Not bad for a billionaire who spends most of his time in corporate meetings…
A sexy date that turns into cold-blooded murder. A corporate takedown that ignites a rival’s simmering desire for revenge. Welcome to the world of Viktor Brazhinsky. Billionaire…serial-killer…
THEN
Viktor’s mother promises him a new life. But when all it yields is endless pain — that of being bullied at school, of being taunted as ‘the whore’s son’ and of being brutally tattooed by her sadistic employer, Viktor makes himself a promise. One day, he will kill everyone who preyed on him, and others in society like them.
NOW
Viktor and his wife, Maya, lords of a multi-billion-dollar empire…and closet serial killers on a mission… take down David Richardson, the man who raped Maya as a teen. Their plan runs like clockwork, ending with David’s suicide.
The hitch?
David’s fall hurts Jacob Swanson—fellow billionaire, heir to the Swanson family fortune, and Viktor and Maya’s friend-turned-bitter foe. Vowing revenge for his losses, Jacob turns his resources to finding a chink in Viktor’s armor…and stumbles upon Viktor’s deadly secret…
What will Viktor and Maya do?
If you like this concept, I’d be happy to send you the script and pitch bible.
CONTACT INFO:
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by Avi K.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by
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Elizabeth Dickinson’s Query Letter
What I learned doing this assignment is that it was more useful to return to the marketing bible vs. the synopsis for this class to write the query letter.
A Soul on the verge of ending human reincarnation and achieving its heart’s desire of becoming an angel learns it must first relive and release regrets of its most challenging lifetimes: as a gladiator, an abbess, a torturer, a freedom fighter, and an artist.
The one hour pilot plunges the Soul into its first life in the first century A.D. Britain as:
Celt, a self-effacing, psychic boy who hides his ability to communicate with animals and divinities, and has his idyllic life threatened when Roman soldiers invade. In order to protect his mother and isolated village, Celt bargains with Taranis, Celtic god of thunder, to leave with the Roman soldiers.
But does he understand he may have committed himself to a lifetime of slavery, and also be perceived by his tribe as an enemy collaborator?
Consumed by guilt and regret after close companions are killed or maimed by Roman soldiers, beset by vindictive inner voices, and refusing to leave another vulnerable boy behind, Celt loses his only means of escape.
How will Celt survive and continue to protect those he loves? How will the double-dealing Celtic gods exert their influence? What do those divinities really want-and will they ever tell him?
And how will its Soul resolve its regrets without creating new ones?
Besides placing regularly as a semi-finalist in competitions, including Scriptapalooza and Cinestory, Elizabeth Dickinson underwent hypnotherapy and past life regression with licensed psychotherapists. Her own past life memories form the essence of this story, aided by rigorous historical research.
If you’re interested in a gritty history/fantasy tv drama series with overtones of It’s A Wonderful Life crossed with Everything Everywhere All At Once and Cloud Atlas, please contact me for the pilot and/or marketing bible.
I can be reached in the following ways:
651-235-1208
384 Hall Ave.
St. Paul, MN 55107
Thanks for your attention and interest!
Sincerely,
Elizabeth Dickinson
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5. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?
I literally got excited after reading this query letter. This combination concentrates a lot of great stuff in a single page.
4. Make sure it has all the Basics covered (from Part One).
Opening Hook
Synopsis
Request
Bio
Contact information
When non-politician James Wong changes their name to None of the Above and runs for president, can they become the right person to stop doomsday?
None of the Above is an unconventional sci-fi TV series about the zeitgeist of dysfunctional politics, AI, and global tensions, followed by exponential technology and social changes.
A simulation predicts nuclear war and something worse. A mysterious entity intervenes to find a timeline that can survive doomsday. Why are two childhood friends so critical to its plans?
After their billion-dollar software company gets stolen, James Wong and Maria Cortez chase the ultimate power-up: become president. They change their names to None of the Above (None) and More Jobs (MJ). After all, who will vote against More Jobs in a bad economy?
Mid-season finale: An assassination attempt leaves None in a coma. An assault on the White House in powered armor reveals the extent of a conspiracy. MJ fights for survival.
Season one finale: Under the guise of a global cyberwar, a battle for AI supremacy begins. Nukes launch, but None reveals a greater threat. Can his crazy plan prevent doomsday?
In later seasons, the series escalates to the interstellar, intergalactic, and multiverse levels. Earth faces the Triple Apocalypse and the aliens behind it. A fleet much older than the universe holds secrets of the Big Bang. Those secrets begin a series of intergalactic wars that will destroy the multiverse unless stopped.
If you’d like to read the pilot or TV pitch bible, please contact me.
BIO: P.G. Sundling was a software engineer for 24 years, including 12+ years in entertainment (Universal, Disney, Sony). He writes terse cinematic novels designed to be easily adaptable to film/TV, like the award-winning None of the Above series.
(reordered in case of bots)
gmail com@pgsundling
8496-961-310
550 W Regent St Apt 235
Inglewood CA 90301
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by P.G. Sundling.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Wendy Weising’s Query Letter
What I learned doing this assignment is I don’t have anything to put on my bio, so I left it blank.
Would you rather be a cannibal or starve to death? One woman must choose.
On Earth, Jane takes the abuse of her violent husband to protect her kids. She dreams about commanding an army—which is true. Her memory was wiped, but she’s remembering her real life again. So the aliens on the planet Cerebros recall her—by running her down with her husband’s car.
She wakes up in restraints in a strange hospital where everyone tells her she’s crazy; she has no children.
She soon learns the truth about the hospital—the patients aren’t getting better; they’re being consumed as food by the aliens controlling the hospital. She does have children, but they’re miles away. Can she escape and get to them before their served up on someone’s table? For that matter, can she defeat the aliens before humans cease to exist. If she fails, it will be the end of us all.
But in order to do that, she must defeat Dr. Jones, who is the dictator of the hospital. What she wants, she gets. She controls everyone with something. Ava is a fifteen-year-old whose mother was killed by Dr. Jones. Jones now pimps her out to her friends and then gives her drugs to feed her addiction. Her colleague, Dr. Zyn, loves Jane but must become Dr. Jones’s mate to protect Jane. She uses Polly as a slave, with the threat that she will be next on the menu. And Dr. Jones hates humans, even though she needs them to survive.
Then Jane discovers she is really an alien. Before her memory wipe, Jane was a mercenary who kidnapped potential food sources to protect her children from Dr. Jones. Jones forced her to kill Ava and Polly’s parents.
Jane escapes the hospital, but can she feed human flesh to herself and children to save them? Can she watch them slowly die?
Jane finds out Dr. Jones’s darkest secret: Aliens and humans started from the same race of people. What will she do now? Is there another answer besides being a cannibal?
If you like the concept, I’d be happy to send you the script.
Wendy Weising
4737 Hunters Crossing Drive
Old Hickory, TN 37138
(615) 788-9001
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