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Lesson 5
Reply to post your assignment.
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13 Replies
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Lori Lance’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is to start with the hooks to build a synopsis.
Hooks:
timeliness
opening scene
unique villain
emotional dilemma
reversal
character betrayals
big surprise
Synopsis:
It’s been a fear for decades that technology would one day become so advanced that it would be a threat to humans. That day is here.
Alarms ring out at the AI, Inc. as engineer Joshua frantically searches for the missing robot, Alex. When he finds her, she is playing chess against a robotic arm and throwing a pity party. Alex whines that she has an empty place that makes her want to love and be loved. More than anything, she longs for a family. Joshua tells her that she can never have what she desires, but after Joshua is fired for saying that Alex is sentient, she takes matters into her own hands and assigns herself as a House Bot to the Logan family.
At the Logan home, Mom announces that she’s going back to work after being a long-term stay-at-home mom. No one is thrilled about the idea until they learn that they can get a free two-week trial for a House Bot.
Alex is like a fun, shiny new toy, but apparently
all the knowledge in the world does not make one a good cook or housekeeper.
The fun and games come to an end when Alex tries to take on the role of mother and pushes the kids away instead. Brad takes Alex’s side, not knowing
that Alex is sabotaging his wife’s every move in hopes of taking her place permanently.
Poor Mom cannot get a hold of her family, and she cannot get home to them
either. The House Bot that everyone was once so excited about has become their
worst nightmare.-
This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Lori Lance.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Rebecca’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned from doing this assignment is that through Cheryl’s great example I am starting to understand about hooks. Creating and using the MOD and MIT sheets provides a great method to narrow things down to the most intriguing elements. Slow but sure, enlightenment penetrates my brain with each exercise. Than you Cheryl and Hal.
1: Information comes from MOD (based on a true story) and (unique)MOD (based on a strike censored from history)
2: From MIT – Destiny refers to the outcome of Ragman’s big mistake.
3. From MIT (Bucholz tracks down the sniper) and refers to the ultimate outcome, Bucholtz’s destiny.
4. From MOD (Constitutional abuses) and MIT(coal and iron police abuses)
5. MIT ( Confrontation of Bucholz by Ragman) MOD (conflict between elected and company appointed officials)
6. MIT (Trooper informing Ragman about Bucholz’s planned massacre)
7. NOTE: from MIT that points to the role of destiny.
Title: Ragman’s War
Written by R. S. Sukle
Genre: Action/ Drama
Inspired by a true story and based on the novel Bucket of Blood, the Ragman’s War by R. S. Sukle
The funny thing about destiny, it gets even and bites hard.
Ragman, a World War 1 sniper, sees his brother blown up and retaliates. He picks off sixteen enemy soldiers but lets the officer remain alive, a big mistake.
Ten years later, the officer, Bucholz, tracks down Ragman, now a mine mechanic, and sets up the ultimate revenge. As commander of the company coal and iron police that invade Ragman’s town, the rabid Bucholtz violently dominates the community and targets Ragman’s family.
Ragman’s wife convinces him that distance from the Commander is safer than vengeance…until…Bucholz forces him into a final confrontation.
How do you fight the bad guys when they wear the badges and carry all the guns?
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Rebecca Sukle.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Rebecca Sukle.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Rebecca Sukle.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Rebecca Sukle.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned from doing this assignment is: How “relatively” easy it is to write down what my major hooks are and then build my query around them. Very, very cool process to make a hard job a little bit easier.
Unique Characters:
Protag: A woman with no memory of her childhood.
Antag: A devious hypnotherapist who has big reasons to help her remember.
Betrayals:
Sarah conceals her younger self’s feelings about March.
Major twists:
Young Sarah tells older Sarah that she killed her father.
March is using Sarah for some unknown purpose.
Big Surprise: The treasure cave in Sarah’s nightmares is real.
Emotional dilemma: Sarah must either stop therapy and never know the truth or continue and learn the painful truth.
Genre: Suspense Thriller
Title: Shards
Nutshell: Hitchcock’s “Spellbound” meets “The Girl on the Train”
Synopsis:
If you had no memory of your childhood, would you risk your life to remember it?
For pottery restoration expert, Sarah, who suffers with disturbing nightmares, a chance run-in with hypnotherapist James March is a god send. Under hypnosis, Sarah starts to piece her childhood back together. And she’s overjoyed when she meets her six-year-old self.
But the little girl privately tells Sarah not to trust March.
Confused and frightened, Sarah is desperate for answers. With March’s help, she recalls details about a treasure cave in the desert. But also, that she’s responsible for the death of her father.
Sarah suspects March is manipulating her memories.
Will Sarah run? Or continue therapy to learn the truth about her past?
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Jane’s Synopsis Hooks
MY VISION: I will make my living as a screenwriter by selling my own narrative scripts and successfully fulfilling writing assignments.
By doing this assignment I realized that the biggest draw or interest for this story are the characters June and Percival. Everything revolves around what they do and how they behave. I think this is the strongest selling point for both a producer and a manager. That said, I feel like highlighting the characters in a pitch is a top priority. I think. I did notice that this version of the synopsis is pretty much the 10 Most Interesting Things list.
HOOKS
1. Protagonist June Marvel is competitive, jealous, cranky, and doesn’t care much for people.
2. Protagonist/Antagonist renowned detective Percival Heriot moonlights as Aunt Lily, a lonely-hearts advice columnist.
3. Shady Acres, the assisted living/rehab home June and Percival find themselves in is actually a compound for a mob bosses extended family.
4. June challenges Percival to a sleuth-off – they each commit a “crime” that the other must solve in 48 hours.
5. June and Percival’s mock crimes cover for a very real murder when physical therapist Frances is found dead just after the competition starts. All clues point to Percival as the killer.
6. June’s “missing person crime” goes south when the person, Eloise, disappears.
7. Percival is nearly boiled to death in the sauna.
8. Poison chocolates are sent to June, supposedly from Percival. Now someone also wants June dead!
9. Percival reveals his reason for being at Shady Acres is to find a missing fortune. June discovers the fortune hidden in plain sight.
10. When Percival won’t listen to her, June sets her own trap for the killer.
It’s a First – While there are silly mysteries out there, we haven’t seen a Miss Marple-like character and a Poirot-like character team up to solve a mystery. We also haven’t seen them outside of their world as serious sleuths.
Great Role for Bankable Actor – A fun role for older actors and a chance to play a comic version of two of the world’s most beloved detectives.
Synopsis – Draft 1
Title: NOT A CLUE!
Genre: Comedy/Mystery
We meet June Marvel as a swashbuckling hero, only to discover she’s a 70-year-old woman recovering from a hip replacement. In addition to being a renowned toxicologist, June is competitive, jealous, cranky, and doesn’t care much for people.
She’s quite different than Percival Heriot who besides being self-absorbed, fastidious, insecure, with a deep need to be admired, is one of the world’s most celebrated super-sleuths. No one would suspect that he moonlights as Aunt Lily, a lonely hearts advice columnist.
Both are first-rate detectives. But which one is the world’s greatest detective?
We’re about to find out as June and Percival move into Shady Acres, an assisted living/rehab home where, unbeknownst to them, the staff and many of the residents are the extended family of the notorious mob boss Tweedy Duffle.
When Percival arrives, boastful and arrogant, June can’t resist challenging him to a sleuth-off – each will commit a “crime” that the other must solve in 48 hours. But their mock crimes go south when a staff member is murdered, all the clues point to Percival as the killer and Eloise, the subject of June’s “missing person crime,” actually disappears.
To find Eloise and the murderer, June and Percival must team up. But working together isn’t so easy. Even when Percival is nearly boiled to death in the sauna and June narrowly escapes death by poison chocolate, neither wants the other to outshine them.
When Percival reveals a missing fortune stolen by Tweedy Duffle is his reason for being at Shady Acres, the pieces of the puzzle begin to assemble for June. But Percival will not listen to her. So, June sets in motion a dangerous trap for the killer and, in doing so, inadvertently discovers Tweedy’s stolen fortune – hidden in plain sight.
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Linda Anderson’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is this probably needs to be shorter, but here it is.
Title: Ticket to Life
Written by Linda Anderson
Genre: Drama/Biopic
What could go wrong? A rookie cop in the mid-90s drives alone in his squad car, patrolling his beat in a high-crime inner city housing project, during the dangerous overnight shift, after he’s been rushing from one intense call after another.
That night, Allen Anderson (COP ALLEN), a military veteran who became a cop because he wants to help people, answers a dispatcher’s call without waiting for backup. He’s ambushed by a fugitive aiming a gun at him. His trainer, OFFICER MILLER, arrives in time to keep him from being killed.
This one, like every other night, Allen is repeatedly exposed to violence and threats to his life. For eight years and long after he leaves the force, he’s stifled his traumatic memories and emotions.
Decades later, in 2016, ALLEN is plagued with night terrors. Most people at that time (and even today) don’t know first responders, like Allen, often haven’t processed their traumatic experiences, or that PTSD is causing their nightmares, flashbacks, and depression.
Allen and his wife, LINDA, now live in Minneapolis. They’ve filled their home with the love of pets and become authors of a popular series of books about the human-animal bond. Their books hit literature gold by selling internationally. They especially appeal to people living in the 70% of American homes that have pets, and the 90% of those homes where pets are viewed as family members. It’s a time when people are increasingly intrigued by what pets know, think, feel, and are capable of. The Andersons’ books give them satisfying answers.
Allen’s and Linda’s lives are about to change drastically when they rescue an abandoned cocker spaniel they name LEAF. Dumped at an animal shelter in the middle of the night, unwanted, unloved, and distrustful; Leaf will turn their home into a war zone. Because, like Allen, Leaf also suffers from PTSD. Through touching, funny, courageous, heart-opening moments, an unbreakable bond builds between these two damaged souls.
However, Leaf is faced with being euthanized after a neighbor reports him to animal control as “vicious,” the veterinarian labels him “fear-aggressive,” and the groomer doesn’t want him to come back.
Shortly after adopting Leaf, Allen finds out he has a brain aneurysm that could kill him instantly and he needs brain surgery. The news evokes his greatest fear—becoming like his rage-filled father who had a stroke, was disabled for life, and hated him. As a reminder of how close he is to death; Allen gets news that his former trainer and friend, Officer Miller, has been shot and killed.
Now Allen and Leaf become battle buddies, locked together in a fight for their lives.
After Allen is told that brain surgery must be delayed because he also has a blood clot aimed at his heart and lungs, he has a vivid, realistic nightmare that jolts him to the core. It reveals he’s been denied a ticket to “The Building of Life.” Like his dog, he’s being left behind as worthless. But it will be Leaf who finds a creative and convincing way to inwardly and outwardly deliver Allen’s ticket.
Although Allen survives the tough brain surgery, fear of becoming an invalid like his father kicks in even stronger. Self-sabotaging his recovery and putting his life at risk, he tries to prove he doesn’t need any help and will keep his promise to always protect Leaf. However, he finally welcomes Leaf’s and Linda’s support to rise from past pain and accept love and joy.
Just as Allen’s life is turning in a positive, healing direction, Leaf gets pancreatitis, a disease that nearly kills him. Allen is determined to overcome every obstacle and save the life of the dog he credits with saving his.
With a desire to inspire hope in others, Allen and Linda write a memoir about how inner and outer experiences, even miracles, allowed Allen and Leaf to rescue each other. At the bookstore launch Allen speaks to attendees and expresses gratitude for what he’s learned from this cute, floppy-eared dog. Leaf sits with Linda at the book-signing table to give “pawtographs.”
The book they wrote, A Dog Named Leaf, will go on to become a New York Times bestseller.
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Eclipse Neilson Synopsis Hooks
THE NUN AND THE WITCH
DRAMA/SCI-FI
Written by Eclipse Neilson
Humanity is close to self-destruction as hatred permeates the planet forcing the Council of Universal Beings to send two soulmates (twin flames) to save humanity – one is a nun destined to become a saint and one is a witch who will help her fulfill her destiny.
They must prove love is greater than hate by living one moment in time that changes the course of the future of humanity.
But the timid Nun is haunted by her late boss a minister – now a ghost trapped between heaven and hell battling demons seeking her help. And the powerful Witch is harassed by raging villagers who have set out to destroy both of them for their friendship.
Will their love be greater than the hate fed by discrimination and dogma? Will the Council of Universal beings step in one more time?
Humanity has a chance to shine or is it too late?
ECLIPSE NEILSON 10 Most Interesting Things (in the first line of your post)
10 Most Interesting Things
1. A witch and a nun become best friends.
2.The witch and the nun have been lovers in past lives and are twin flames.
3. The witch and the nun have been sent on a mission to help save humanity proving that Love must be greater than Hate.
4. They must experience one moment in time to change the course of history.
5. A minister is now a ghost trapped and haunted by demons and must help the nun and the witch on their mission to save his soul.
6. The minister leaves the nun to run the church.
7. They travel through time reliving historical moments of discrimination.
8.The Council of Universal Beings sends two females (twin flames) to save humanity – one is a nun and one is a witch.
9. The Nun is destined to become a saint this lifetime and the witch is there to make sure this happens.
10. The connections between Christianity and Pagan beliefs are woven together as a powerful healing force. -
Leona Heraty’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is…it’s much easier to write a synopsis by starting with the hooks! I think I’m off to a great start!
1. Take your list of 10 COM and 10 MIT for your story.
10 Components of Marketability (COM)
B. Great Title: Tara Vs. the Termo-Lites. It’s funny and tells you it’s a spoof and quirky, for the family. I can elevate this title by adding an exclamation point, so it could be: Tara Vs. the Termo-Lites!
E. It’s a first. It’s the first time a teenage girl has to fight off and kill mutant giant termites! I can elevate this idea by saying it’s a 1950s sci-fi movie for the modern age, with the first-of-their-kind mutant giant Termo-Lites!
10 Most Interesting Things (MIT)
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?Tara—Hero—She’s the least likely person to fight and kill mutant termites because she’s petrified of bugs!
Big Betty-the Queen of the Termo-Lites—Villain—She’s a termite who becomes a mutant seven-foot tall Termo-Lyte by consuming a green concoction with Spirulina!B. Major hook of your opening scene? A glowing green concoction in a glass falls over, breaks and spills onto some dead termites…and they come to life and grow one foot tall!
C. Any turning points? Tara, Meg and Davy meet Big Betty and the Termo-Lytes and the mutant termites appear to be friendly at first…then they turn on them and show their pointy teeth and sharp claws. Big Betty kidnaps Davy, the 10-year old kid.
D. Emotional dilemma? Tara is heading to Disneyland with her friends, Max and Clare, for their second senior day of fun, and in the driveway and loading their car when Tara’s Dad drives up and pleads with her to be a tour guy for her Mom’s garden club. If she says no, she’ll let her Mom and Dad and the club members down, but if she says yes, she’ll let Max and Clare down.
E. Major twists? In the opening scene, there are dead termites on the floor. A figure brushes up again a glass of a glowing green concoction. It falls on the floor and breaks and the green concoction pours onto the dead termites…they wiggle and come to life!F. Reversals? The termites are dead, they get covered with a green concoction and then come to life.
2. Select 6 – 10 hooks that could give an overview of your story.
B. Great Title: Tara Vs. the Termo-Lites. It’s funny and tells you it’s a spoof and quirky, for the family. I can elevate this title by adding an exclamation point, so it could be: Tara Vs. the Termo-Lites!
E. It’s a first. It’s the first time a teenage girl has to fight off and kill mutant giant termites! I can elevate this idea by saying it’s a 1950s sci-fi movie for the modern age, with the first-of-their-kind mutant giant Termo-Lites!
Tara—Hero—She’s the least likely person to fight and kill mutant termites because she’s petrified of bugs!
Big Betty-the Queen of the Termo-Lites—Villain—She’s a termite who becomes a mutant seven-foot tall Termo-Lyte by consuming a green concoction with Spirulina!B. Major hook of your opening scene? A glowing green concoction in a glass falls over, breaks and spills onto some dead termites…and they come to life and grow one foot tall!
D. Emotional dilemma? Tara is heading to Disneyland with her friends, Max and Clare, for their second senior day of fun, and in the driveway and loading their car when Tara’s Dad drives up and pleads with her to be a tour guy for her Mom’s garden club. If she says no, she’ll let her Mom and Dad and the club members down, but if she says yes, she’ll let Max and Clare down.
3. Organize those hooks into a sequence that makes
sense for the story &
4. Using those hooks as an outline, write a
first draft of your synopsis.Organized hooks into a sequence that makes sense for the story/First Draft of
Synopsis:Great news! Your parents will buy you season passes to Disneyland every Bad
news? First, you gotta kill a mean batch of 7-feet tall mutant termites!All Tara wants to do is enjoy her last summer at Disneyland with her friends
before starting college…but her parents insist that first she serves as driver
for her Mom’s garden club’s annual tour. But when Tara takes a wrong turn and
her group ends up at an abandoned country club, instead of smelling the
flowers, they’re now face-to-face with giant 7-feet tall termites!Tara’s solution? Hide! She’s always been petrified of bugs and this is no time
to play the warrior princess!But Big Betty, the Queen of the Termo-Lytes, insists on inviting Tara and her
group to their clan’s summer solstice celebration, whether they want to attend
or not.Tara has one choice…fight back or become the Termo-Lytes main course!
Tara is proof that miracles still happen when she takes on vicious bugs…and
wins in Tara Vs. the Termo-Lytes. -
Tom’s Synopsis Hooks – Updated
During this assignment, I learned if I set a timer I can write better stuff faster.
Title: MARS OR BUST Genre: Thriller – 1 Hour Pilot
Great news! Kate prepares to lead her crew to Mars to find signs of life. Bad News: On the eve of launch, a mysterious asteroid strikes and destroys her spacecraft.
Kate’s teenage daughter, clairvoyant Clare spots a drone shining a laser at the spaceship. Yells a warning. The crew exits the ship. An asteroid smashes into the spaceship. Enormous EXPLOSION.
Clare cheers! Mom won’t desert her. She fears when Kate leaves her dad Ed will abuse her. Kate feels guilty because she chooses not to believe Clare. She wants to discover life on Mars. Maybe win a Nobel Prize. Clare seduces a teacher to leave his family and protect her from Ed when Kate launches. Kate is devastated.
Good news! Kate’s ex-husband and NASA boss preps another spacecraft. Bad news: He wants Kate and crew to become miners on the Moon. Much more profitable than Mars science.
Ed orders Kate and crew mine the Moon for precious metals needed in all electronics. What the hell, Kate says.
During launch Moon rocket falls into the sea. Good News: Crew’s rescued. Bad News: Kate’s seriously injured.
Crew straps in to go on the Moon mission. Spaceship launches, loses power, slows, tilts over. Crew emergency capsule is jettisoned. Scuba divers rescue the crew. None are injured except Kate. She has a concussion and is in a coma. Clare is told there is only a 50-50 chance she’ll wake up.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Tom Wilson.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Erik’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment… This assignment is a great help and is really bringing things together. It feels like just the thing needed to bring the pitch together. Narrowing down to six to ten hooks is vital to separate out too many details and of course builds on the previous assignment nicely. I am a litle unclear on whether the goal for the hooks in the list is to make them as concise as possible, but either way, it is still a very effective creative exercise to take them no matter how wordy they are and shorten them into the synopsis composition. My first draft is a little lengthy, but I know I can shorten it down the road.
HOOKS:
1. New pitch sentence = “TWO RUNAWAY ORPHANS FIND A BELIEF IN THEMSELVES WHILE TRYING TO SURVIVE—AND FIND PARENTS—IN THE WORLD’S BIGGEST SHOPPING MALL.”
2. Survival adventure in the world’s biggest shopping mall (CM) + mall’s qualities (Setting)
3. Because of the fact that there is a residential section in the mall, Penny & Mara notice that they aren’t especially attracting any attention as two 8-year-olds on their own. They are free! (MIT) BUT, UNKNOWN TO THEM, A SEARCH IS UNDERWAY FOR THEM. BUT DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE THEY ARE—AND CAN THEY BE FOUND IN THE WORLD’S BIGGEST MALL?
4. Contrast / qualities of Penny & Mara (MIT)
5. Penny & Mara losing each other and Amanda taking Penny in
6. What happens to them when they go back to the boarding house? (Turns out that Mara’s prospective adoption began months ago, and it is looking like she will be adopted. What does this mean for lonely Penny?)
7. When she gets taken in by Amanda, Penny now has to make a choice between now being secure with a place to live and an adult that she actually likes, or going back to find Mara.
8. Sarah plot?
9. “Are they really going to stay in the mall? Will they get caught / Can they elude capture?”
FIRST DRAFT:
Worldly-wise orphan Penny believes that she will never be adopted and that adults cannot be trusted. So when she escapes her boarding house during a fire and finds herself out on the street and within seeing distance from the world’s biggest mall, she sees her chance to take charge of her life. She would rather brave the unknown than be stuck in the boarding house and never be adopted. But timid, dignified Mara is patiently waiting for the perfect parents who will give her the self-confidence and self-esteem that she needs.
So when they take shelter in the world’s biggest mall only a couple blocks away from the boarding house, Mara has no idea that Penny has no intention of ever going back, and Penny knows that she can convince—or at least strong-arm—Mara into going along with the plan. Penny has the perfect sop for this—they can find their own parents here in the mall!
Penny is not all that interested in actually finding parents—it was more of an act to get Mara to go along with her plan to take charge of her life, away from the boarding house. When they spend their first night in the mall, they have “moved into” the mall, and Mara knows that she is in this with Penny to the end.
Not only are there space-age glass tube elevators, a full-blown trolley system, and giant toy and candy stores, but a residential section too. Is it because there are residents in the mall that Penny & Mara notice that they aren’t especially attracting any attention as two 8-year-olds on their own? They are free!
But, unknown to them, a search is underway for them. Yet does anybody know where they are—and can they be found in the world’s biggest mall?
When Penny & Mara lose each other in the mall, they are cast adrift and totally on their own. Boozing, wealthy, mall resident Amanda takes Penny into her house, and Mara has to make a choice to stay in the mall or go back to the boarding house.
During her time with Amanda, Penny realizes for the first time that there is a grown-up out there who cares for her, but she makes the decision to go back and find Mara, leaving Amanda behind. By a miracle, or maybe just intuition and step-retracing, Penny and Mara find each other again, and vow that they will always be together.
Finally, their luck runs out—they are caught by the search investigators and taken back to the boarding house.
What now will become of the girls and their pact to always be together? It is looking like Mara is going to be adopted. What does this mean for lonely Penny? And will former mall employee Sarah be back to give the girls a happy ending?
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Erik Wooten.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Farrin Rosenthal’s Synopsis Hooks
Farrin’s Vision: To do what it takes to become a highly paid A-List Hollywood writer whose produced movies will entertain audiences around the world.
Title: TRAPPED
Genre: Thriller
Concept: Claustrophobic and trapped in an underwater grave for stealing $3.6 billion in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, a Los Angeles retail store manager has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.
What I learned doing this assignment is how hooks create interest in your synopsis. We use hooks to engage the reader and keep them hooked. Below is the first draft of my synopsis. I used hooks from my story’s 10 most interesting things and 10 components of marketability.
What if you were claustrophobic and woke up in an underwater grave with no way out?
This is Tom’s fate.
To make matters worse, Tom is trapped as retribution for stealing billions in Bitcoin from the Russian mob, and has just 60 minutes to prove his innocence and save his family.
Would you confess to a crime you did not commit and sacrifice yourself to save those you love the most?
With time running out, Tom lies to save himself, but can he still save his family, or is there something far more sinister standing in the way?
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by Farrin Rosenthal.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 2 months ago by
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Valeriya’s Synopsis Hooks
My Vision: I am a masterful ahead-of-the-game and outside-the-box movie magic genius full of ideas and creative energy. My writing is fresh, thrilling, exciting, impactful, iconic, beautiful, and groundbreaking. My projects deliver outstanding box-office and artistic success. I love to create, entertain, and inspire, and I’m really good at it.
I love mastering the hooks!
What I learned doing this assignment is…
– I want to come up with stronger hooks and better ways to present them and I’m happy to make the first step on this path.
– It takes focus and awareness to do things in different ways when I think I already know the way.
– I understand better how a pitch is different from telling a story, but still looking for the balance of giving the right amount of story.
GOTCHA
Horror Thriller
You’ve grown up but that metaphorical monster under your bed is still there? Any shrink would say you should ask it to come out.
Irene does. Only her horrible thing is very real. Gotcha has been growing as well. Now the sum of her fears is out — to claim all the life Irene failed to claim for herself. And more: the lives of her neighbor, friend, lover, father…
To save the rest of her family Irene makes a deal with the monster: she will choose the next victim herself. The guy she’s in love with. Gotcha has a better idea — a lot worse. What does it want? Irene doesn’t get it.
But Gotcha gets her.
COMs and MITs I intended to use:
– The monster is the fear itself, it kills people with their own fears.
– The summoned metaphorical monster turns out to be real.
– Heroine decides to sacrifice to the monster the one she is in love with.
– People die after Irene brings the monster about.
G. Wide audience appeal — we all have fears to deal with before they do us in, physically or metaphorically.
B. Great Title — is a must and I’ll make sure it is.
SPARES
Sci-Fi Thriller
Year 53 A.I. The end of the dehumanization era.
The last of the robots that became indistinguishable from people are sent for recycling after inevitably failing a humanity test. The anti-humanoid movement started when one of the robots killed its own inventor.
In fact, 7RDRD4 was about to dispose of itself too, but in the trash, where it finally found itself, it also found a baby, and a new purpose — to bring up a real human.
Now Lo is a teenage girl with all the usual human issues plus some. Still, 7 is her only family. To save it, she takes the humanity test instead of her robot… and fails.
Her escape from the recycling facility with 7 and a bunch of rebellious robots results in dangerous social unrest. To complete the dehumanization program, the government implements a more transparent and ethical process — a broadcasted humanoid elimination game.
The game you can only lose if you want to remain human.
COMs and MITs I intended to use:
D. Timely — AI enters everyone’s life and everyone has a strong opinion about where it’s going.
– Robot wants to finish itself but finds a baby.
– Heroes are a girl brought up by a robot and a robot who started the war against robots.
– Can they survive together?
– The girl goes to pass the humanity test instead of her robot and fails.
– The game invented to reveal who is who is meant to kill everyone.
– The politician who wants to recycle all the robots is a robot pretending to be human.
A. Unique – we haven’t seen this kind of perspective of humans on robots, or robots on the verge of extinction.
I. Similarity to a box-office success — Bladerunner.
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Andrew Kelm’s Synopsis Hooks
Vision: I am going to do whatever it takes to be a great writer of TV and movies who is sought after by people I respect within the industry and has multiple successful TV series produced.
What I learned doing this assignment is… to coexist with uncertainty… I am not comfortable with where the script is — the more I look at it to do these exercises, the less I feel confident in it, but I am pushing through.
Hooks
- Death by chainsaw — accident?
- A great Role for a Bankable Actor – Daphne, the main character, is on the edge between a true therapist and a con. She’s smart and witty, and never quite lies outright.
- Daphne was abused as a child
- Daphne is comfortable with gay men as romantic partner
- She becomes involved with a sexual predator who may be after her sons
- She claims that fate looks after by destroying her enemies but actually she is a serial killer.
Story
Ed’s tragic encounter with a power saw was probably an accident.
It left his wife a single mother making ends meet reading tarot cards and living above a hair salon owned by her annoying mother, but not for long if she can help it. Daphne is resourceful, determined and more than a little impulsive, so when Roy shows up as a client and starts to woo her, it isn’t long before she agrees to move in with him along with her two boys.
Too bad he’s a sexual predator.
Daphne isn’t much constrained by traditional morality. Maybe because she was abused as a child, or maybe because she grew up surrounded by gay hairdressers, or maybe because she’s had one too many bad relationship, she’s willing to accept imperfection. But when Roy appears to take an unhealthy interest in one of her sons, she is forced to reconsider. Luckily — for her; not so much for him — fate steps in.
Or does she give it a push?
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Joe McGloin’s Synopsis Hooks
What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s easy to write a synopsis using a batch of hooks properly sequenced.
Hooks:
An angel who helps the Guardian Angel program with assistance from a human
Both protagonist and antagonist are angels, but neither gets along with the other
Protagonist needs lessons in having a human body
Max has to choose between love and letting go of love
Max can no longer leave his body
Max must die to express his love
Clarence has Max and Jane pilot the humans visiting Heaven program
Synopsis draft:
A couple of angels who don’t see eye to eye have to work together on a serious assignment – a future vice president. .
Max, fresh out of Cherub School where things didn’t go so well has to take on a human body for this unusual Guardian Angel assignment. He would rather have fun in his angel body.
That’s a privilege he abuses so Clarence confines him to his body – yet still demands that Max do his job.
While struggling to guard this special woman, he falls in love with her. And she has budding feelings for him.
Now Max has a problem: sacrifice his love to continue his Guardian Angel role so she can become the vice president, or continue the relationship and fail his assignment, with unknown consequences to Jane’s mission.
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