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Day 1: THE DARK KNIGHT
1. Please watch the scene and provide your insights about what makes this scene great from a writing perspective.
2. Read the other writers comments and make notes on how you will improve your opening scene from your script.
3. Rethink your opening scene using your new insights and rewrite the scene.
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11 Replies
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Watch 1st time for:·THE DARK KNIGHT
The clown images offer an interesting, creepy visual and irony to a bank robbery.
They seem to be working together then…
We realize the guy they are talking about is there…and evil.
The cuts back and forth to the guy in the bank sitting calmly with the gun. Setup.Watch 2nd time for:·
Challenging Situation·- the
bank guy with a gun and the rigged safe.
Intrigue – who is the Joker who
planned this heist
Interesting Action – ruthless,
evil, violent, seemingly unmoved by it all
Intriguing Dialogue – talking
about the split/the planner guy.
Tone – just another day in the
park against horror.
Lures us into the Story – who
is the guy they are talking about/who are theyTwist at Conclusion of the
scene – the unexpected bus -
Basic scene components
Scene arc – It starts with several thieves beginning a heist and ends with one of the thieves leaving with money.
Situation – A bank robbery but not just any bank.
Conflict – A bank employee decides to stand up against the thieves and begins to shoot at them. All while saying do you know who you are messing with? In addition, each of the thieves starts to murder each other during the bank robbery because they have been told if they kill the person they are working with, you will get more money.
Moving the Story Forward – The Joker wants to rob a mob bank because he wants to engage with the mob ultimately to take down Batman, although that true subtext is not revealed in this scene.
Entertainment value – I struggle with this, but its value is the tension as the scene unfolds. It is getting the money, fending off an attack by an employee, and murdering each other, all culminating in the reveal of one of the movie’s main characters.
Set-ups and payoffs – I struggle with recognizing this, too, but I believe, as stated earlier, the set-up is to reveal to true evil nature of the main character. Still, there are a series of smaller set-ups and payoffs, like each thief murdering the other as they pull off the heist.
Lead Character Introduction – THE JOKER! There is not even a mention of Batman in this scene. It’s all about the fiendish nature of THE JOKER.
Please let me know if I have missed other key points about this scene. I will post the second part of the assignment soon. Thank you
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Upon the second viewing here are my impressions
Challenging situation – There are several, the employee shooting at the thieves, trying to stop the alarm from going off, how to get away with the money but the one that stands out is the safe having an electric shock. It is revealed by one of the thieves that mob banks have that electric shock security.
Intrigue – Who told them to kill each partner they were working with?
Interesting Action – The other thieves kill eachother as they accomplish their task. Cracking the safe, gathering the money, stoping the alarm, etc. Plus the employee shooting at them along with the bus crashing through bank front door.
Intriguing Dialouge – That starts immediately when one of the thieves talks about splitting up the shares as they drive in the van towards the bank. It plants the seed that all the thieves have been told to kill eachother to ensure they individually make more money.
Tone – It’s about as chaotic and dark as it gets.
Lures us into the story – Why would the Joker want to knock a mobbed up bank?
Twist – I believe it is the fact that The Joker was along for the ride the entire time during the bank robbery. We did not know that until the very end of the scene. The twist introduces us the one of the main characters.
Please let me know what you think of my impressions and what I may have missed. Thank you
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The scene sets up the violent tone of the movie and introduce us to the Joker who is a conniving, cold blooded killer who cannot be trusted. You’re first introduced to a coordinated bank robbery where the conflict is created when it is revealed that none of robbers know each other and they are instructed to turn on each other. Who will be left? When everything appears to be going the robbers way we are then set up again when the bank manager fires back, kills one of them and then reveals that they are doomed because they are stealing from the mob. Ultimately, the mastermind Joker is the last man standing and his ruthless character reveals an irony – he is also witty and strange, too. Compact and tight lipped – the characters speak only when it’s necessary to tell the audience something important that the action can’t reveal like the car ride when the driver and passenger reveal that they plan on betraying the Joker.
Not a lot of subtext – it really infers that the Joker wants to engage the mob by stealing their money.
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Hello all!
First this scene opens up with men in clown masks in the middle of a high rise zip line. Broad daylight but we are all aware of Gotham City. Gets the adrenaline pumping right away. Another group of masked men pick up a lone wolf on a corner and the dialouge reveals that the job was planned by the Joker and that no one knows him. Who’s that lone wolf? Intrigue sets in. The three burst into the bank while the two zip liners take care of the alarm from the roof. More Joker discussion adding to the mystery. As soon as alarm is disarmed, one clown shoots the other. Surprise, this gang has secrets! They get the safe open and the shooter clown from the roof gets shot in the back by his “partner”. Saw that one coming. They reveal that they were told to kill each other by the boss. This Joker character and his shrinking gang are ruthless! The bank manager pulls a shotgun and starts shooting with dialouge that tells us this is a mob bank. Adding to the conflict. He throws around a few threats until he gets shot. Two clowns remain and there’s a pile of duffle bags filled with cash. One clown complains that they need a bigger car and pulls a gun on the other ready to save himself. But surprise; he gets hit by a bus that backs into the front door. The clown bus driver helps load the money and gets shot without a second thought by the last clown. The lone wolf. The bank manager rambles on about the lack of honor in thieves these days causing the last clown to pull his mask off and show us the Joker finally. He claps back and jumps in the bus to get away. How do you bring a guy with no conscious, no loyalty but an obvious criminal mastermind to justice? Got to keep watching. High octane enertainment with life and death situations.
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From a writing perspective this scene worked wonderfully in a number of ways. The action drove the scene while the dialogue was sharp and succinct. While dialogue was exposition, it revealed what each of the characters knew and very importantly didn’t know, and at the same time engaged the audience with mystery, intrigue and action. The sequencing of action built suspense. The setups and payoffs were abundant: Joker sitting out the robbery yet expecting the money. Bank manager called a private number, safe wired with high voltage, who dies that? – Mob. Robbers picking off one another – sequential with impeccable timing. School bus as getaway – Blending into a line of them. And irony: Bank manager laundering and storing mob money, goes off about the thieves lacking honor and integrity. Twist at the end – It was the Joker, and while his actions displayed a psychosis, he freely admits to being ‘off’ just before his successful getaway. He has the capacity to plan very complicated plans with precision and execute them mercilessly. Thinking forward just from this point, we can surmise Batman does not know what’s coming his way, but we do, and it’s not good. A great nemesis for the protagonist, and a great hook to lead us into the rest of the story.
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We open on two men in clown masks ziplining between two buildings high above a city street. Immediate intrigue and interesting action.
A lone figure standing on a street corner holding a mask in one hand but remaining motionless until his ride picks him up (intrigue). Who is this guy?
The discussion that follows inside the moving car establishes there is no loyalty among thieves (plant for payoff) when the driver makes his position clear – he intends on cutting out the 6th guy – the Joker.
The thieves talk about the Joker. The intrigue is that no one on the team really knows who he is. They speculate about him. We learn the Joker instructed each one of them to take out anyone on the team when the moment presents itself which is the twist on traditional heist movies.
We cut back to the two men on the top of the building. Once the alarm is cut, one man puts a bullet in the man’s back (payoff).
It becomes clear this is a bank heist but it isn’t just any bank. A man, presumably the bank manager, takes a stand and asks the thieves if they know whose bank it is? (intrigue and a plant for payoff). He is shot. Falls to the floor.
Another thief breaks into the safe and is immediately taken out by another thief who collects the money (payoff). The number of thieves is shrinking.
The money is in the bank lobby in large duffle bags. Just as one thief prepares to take out the Joker without realizing it, a bus crashes into the building and kills the thief (payoff). The Joker loads the money onto the bus and then kills the last remaining thief (payoff).
One last exchange happens between the bank manager and the Joker before he leaves with the money. He reveals himself to be the Joker (payoff and twist).
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Technically this isn’t a scene, but a sequence consisting of small individual scenes shot in ten different locations. That being said, I suspect a lot of the suspense comes from the editing. It would be interesting to read the shooting script and see how much of the final structure (like the cross-cutting) was already designed by the writer.
What’s most intriguing to me is that on top of the suspense inherent in the heist, none of the men seem to know each other, hence unlike other heist-movies, no friendship or trust exists among them and after the first in-team-killing. I ask myself: Oh my god, who’s going to survive this? The men themselves, even the ones who are killed don’t seem to have any moral concerns whatsoever, they’re even making plans to screw the one who hired them – the joker. The men seem to be specialized in their respective fields and soon as they delivered their work, they are killed. As the sequence progresses, it becomes clearer and clearer that a really devilish, yet genius mind must have thought out this plan.
But who is that guy “joker”? Everybody is wearing a mask, so no one knows. Every time, someone is killed, we believe: This must be him! The Moment, the we see a single guy (everybody else is in a team) at the street corner, the fact that he’s alone and the way he is dolly-shot from a low angle, focussed on the mask in his hand) makes him stand out: Is it him? We believe it could be the guy everybody is talking about, but we are not sure. Only at the end it is revealed.
And the joker wouldn’t be the joker, if he didn’t put his own spin on things: Two surprising twists in the end: He let’s the guy with the pump-gun live (maybe to heighten his own glory by letting a witness survive) But also, because now we can suspect, that this strangely reckless banker will become his opponent.
The second twist is the jokers play with words: “…only makes you STRANGER”. This is where I lean back grab the Popcorn and think: I hope there is more of that sick humor to come. Because in the end, that’s what this character is really all about.
The joker is introduced as a character that seems to fear nothing an no one. We all wish we would fear less, so we love watching people take big risks. No stupid risks though, but well thought out ones.
There is definitely a lot to learn here. What I have to look out for in my own opening is
1. to cut and sharpen dialogue.
2. Introduce the lead character as a more pro-active, decisive person.
3. Plant some stakes in the beginning, introduce some strong and worthy opponents: (the bank is a mob-bank and it’s manager is a dare-devil. One can be sure they will strike back.)
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A. BASIC SCENE COMPONENTS
1. SCENE ARC
Opening with clowns at the window reminiscent of Mission Impossible gone bad
Start with two clown criminals, add two more, add innocent people at the bank, and then the bank manager — number of people increases in scene
Stakes increase as innocent bystanders taken by clowns and left to wonder what will happen to them — will they be abducted, will bomb explode in mouth, will they be shot?
Stakes increase as clowns begin to kill each other execution style – what is going on? Mayhem grows with each killing
Scene climaxes when bank manager appears, says do they know who they’re robbing from? They’ll be dead. Then aims high power gun and begins shooting, but de-escalates when he runs out of bullets
Money is gathered into duffel bags, foreshadowing happens when clown says they should have brought a bigger car
School bus backs in, all criminals are executed except one, bank manager speaks out — where is the honor? Left with bomb in his mouth
Now one criminal leaves alone with all the money, takes off his mask, it’s The Joker
2. SITUATION
Bank robbery mayhem, no loyalty among criminals
Interestingly, no innocent bystanders are shot
Audience relates to bystanders
3. CONFLICT
Who is the conflict between?
Initially it seems to be between clowns and customers
But, when bank manager comes out shooting, another level of conflict is introduced — now two sets of criminals, different levels of bad guys
The Joker is the worst of the worst
Where are the good guys? The police?
4. MOVING THE STORY FORWARD
As each part of the bank robbery progresses, the story moves forward and tension increases. Who will get out alive? Will the police show up? What else will this villain do?
5. ENTERTAINMENT VALUE
We’re sitting on the edge of our seats from the very start knowing something bad is going to go down
6. SETUPS/PAYOFFS – ???
B. INTRO TO WORLD (Don’t explain, put reader into it)
A dystopian world of mayhem where no one knows what awful thing will happen next
All bad guys and innocents — where are the good guys?
Shot in grayscale and red accents w/ ominous music
C. INTRO TO LEAD CHARACTER
Movie opens with Antagonist instead of Protagonist and establishes he is the worst of the worst, an evil psychopath
The clowns are talking about the Joker not realizing he’s there – they say he’s smart, planned the heist, as crazy as they say, wears face paint to scare people
The Joker himself admits he’s strange
D. HEIGHTENING THE SCENE
1. Challenging Situation
Life or death dystopian situation governed by madmen w/ no remorse re killing
2. Intrigue
Who are the clowns? Why are they robbing the bank? Why this bank?
Who is the bank manager? Why does he keep such a large gun at his desk?
Will the police show up? Will the criminals get away with this?
3. Interesting Action
The zip line
The wired bank vault
The school bus crashing into the bank at the end
4. Intriguing Dialogue
The bank manager “Do you have any idea who you’re stealing from? You and your friends are dead.” Also asks what Joker believes in, bemoaning no honor between criminals
The Joker twisting the saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” to “what doesn’t kill you makes you stranger”
5. Tone
Very dark, black white and red
Expressions on clowns faces = disturbing
6. Lures Reader into the Story
Why does the alarm go to a private number? Who is at that number?
What is going to happen in a world ruled by criminals?
7. Twist at the Conclusion of the Scene
A school bus driven by yet another clown, what happened to innocent children?
What doesn’t kill you makes you stranger
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Opening sequence is only 4 minutes 56 seconds of screen time. A guy in clown masks fires two ziplines to the bank rooftop. Joker (we only learn this guy is the Joker at the end of the opening sequence. I name him because it clarifies which of the 5 heist clowns turns out to be Joker) stands at the street corner with a clown mask and a duffle bag. Truck arrives, Joker gets in the back seat. Action and cutting are face paced. Set up: Bank robber in clown mask says – The Joker is going to sit out the danger, and still expects a share of the loot.
The three clowns go into the bank. MYSTERY: A bank officer/manager has an unusually calm reaction. Something is up with him. The silent alarm is disabled. MYSTERY & INTRIGUE: The alarm is wired to alert a private number not 911. That’s weird.
Is there a problem? No. Surprise and twist: Partner kills the clown who disabled the alarm.
Bank manager kills one clown in the lobby, fires on two that remain. INTRIGUE and TWIST: BANK MANAGER says: You have no idea who you’re stealing from. You’re all dead.
Under fire, the two clowns try to determine if the Bank Manager is out of shells. Surprise and twist: The clowns counted incorrectly. Manager has one more shell and wounds the spiky-haired clown. REVERSAL: Now manager is out of bullets. The Joker shoots him.
CLOWN drills the vault door. INTRIGUE & MYSTERY: Vault door is wired to administer a shock to the thieves. That’s unusual. AS CLOWN opens the vault, he says: The Joker said I should take out the other guy who disarmed the alarm. TWIST & SURPRISE: The clown behind the vault man says – He told me something similar. He shoots the vault driller.
REMAINING CLOWN shovels money into bags. He encounters the JOKER in the lobby and realizes he should shoot Joker because he expects to be murdered by him. JOKER corrects him, says – I’m supposed to kill the bus driver. What bus? PAYOFF and SURPRISE: Bus blasts through the wall, killing the clown who was about to kill the Joker, and talked earlier about stealing Joker’s cut of the heist money. TWIST: Joker kills the bus driver, loads cash into the bus. Manager says the new breed of criminals have no respect for organized crime rules. JOKER replies – What doesn’t kill you simply makes you Stranger. He pulls off his clown mask revealing his clown face. He calmly puts a bomb in the Bank Manager’s mouth. INTRIGUE, DREAD, DANGER: We expect to see the Manage explode. SURPRISE and MYSTERY: It’s just a smoke bomb, the manager survives.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by John Woodward.
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This reply was modified 2 years, 1 month ago by
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My interpretation of Cheryl’s instructions is that she expected writers in the class to post our rewrites of our opening scenes, but nobody has. Not sure what to do. Any assistance is appreciated.
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