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Lesson 12
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David Wickenden Outline with Intrigue
What did I learn from doing this assignment?
It highlights all the intrigue that has to show up in the pilot in a clean outline. There could be multiple intrigue in each beat.
TEASER
INT. COURTROOM – DAY – INTRIGUING WORLD
Open Loop: Will the guy attack the girl again?
Mystery: Why was this guy allowed to get away with the attack? What will the outcome do to the girl/family?
Empathy/ Distress: Devastating to the girl/family. The event and the verdict.
PayOff: None
Irony: He is found innocent and then threatens the girl.
Setup: Major catalyst for the series.
INT. HOME – DAY – WOUND
Open Loop: How will this affect Laura/family
Mystery: Who is this girl? – girl will not be identified.
Empathy/ Distress: Horrible for the sister/family.
PayOff: We see what both the verdict and the threat has done to the young girl, Susan.
Irony:
Setup: Major catalyst for the series.
ACT 1
EXT. SKY – DAY – SECRET IDENTITY
Open Loop: Is someone going to be targeted?
Mystery: Who are these people and what are they planning?
Empathy/ Distress: Danger of being shot.
PayOff: We find that the soldier is a doctor.
Irony: A doctor is a crack shot and killer.
Setup: Future action
INT. CLASSROOM – LATER – HIDDEN AGENDA
Open Loop: Is this a cover for some other activity?
Mystery: How many other ‘skills’ does she have?
Empathy/ Distress: Distress for soldiers and 1<sup>st</sup> responders.
PayOff: We see why the doctor is doing the training.
Irony: Government sends soldiers to war but then doesn’t want to fund treatment.
Setup: PTSD counselling plays a part in future episodes.
EXT. Street – Day – INTRIGUING WORLD.
Pass 1:
Open Loop: Who is the girl?
Mystery: What do they want with her?
Empathy/ Distress: Fear for the girl.
PayOff: We find out that she’s a cop.
Irony: The little girl kicks the hell out of big guy.
Setup: The world of child abusers.
INT. VAN – SAME TIME – IMMINENT THREAT
Open Loop: Is she the young girl from the teaser?
Mystery:
Empathy/ Distress: Fear for the girl.
PayOff: We find out she is a cop.
Irony: Prey becomes the hunter
Setup: We’re introduced to a major character.
ACT 2
INT. APARTMENT – EVENING
Open Loop: What’s with her searching her own home?
Mystery: Why is she so afraid?
Empathy/ Distress: Alone with no life other than work.
PayOff: Non
Irony: A cop scared in her own home.
Setup: This is the introduction to Janice’s wound.
INT. APARTMENT – LATER – STRANGE BEHAVIOR
Open Loop: Will she be able to save Ryan
Mystery: Who has Ryan and where.
Empathy/ Distress: Fear for child.
PayOff: The job doesn’t stop at quitting time for Janice.
Irony: Both want Ryan for different reasons
Setup: Introduction to Ryan’s story.
INT. OFFICE – DAY – INTRIGUING WORLD
Open Loop: Will they find Ryan?
Mystery: Why have the children been taken and killed?
Empathy/ Distress: Fear and anxiety for Ryan.
PayOff: none
Irony: Killer leaves a religious symbol and then kills children.
Setup: Hunt for children
INT. APARTMENT – EVENING – CONSPIRACY
Open Loop: Will Janice take time off?
Mystery: Will she solve the case?
Empathy/ Distress: Fear for Janice’s mental health.
PayOff: we learn a little about Janice’s wound
Irony: Abused as a child, she now hunts child abusers.
Setup: The death of the cop.
ACT 3
INT. FUNERAL – DAY – WOUND
Open Loop: What will Laura do?
Mystery: What else could Laura have done?
Empathy/ Distress: Sadness for police family. Pain for Laura.
PayOff: We find that the cop killed himself over images of children being abused.
Irony: Protectors need saving
Setup: Future of the series.
INT. STORAGE LOCKER. – HIDDEN LAYER
Open Loop: What is Laura going to do?
Mystery: Has she struck before?
Empathy/ Distress: We see her suffering, but the sight of the weapons is scary.
PayOff: We see Laura has been planning something.
Irony: A doctor who helps people, is planning something violent.
Setup: The rest of the series.
EXT. CHURCH PICNIC – DAY – CONSPIRACY
Open Loop: Will the priest be caught? Will Ryan be saved. Will he go after the little girl?
Mystery: Why is he doing this?
Empathy/ Distress: Fear for the children. Disgust for the priest.
PayOff: We find out what’s happened to Ryan
Irony: A priest who is suppose to offer peace, offers abuse and death. The church is suppose to offer sanctuary is actually a prison.
Setup: Hunt for the Priest
Act 4
INT. JAIL – DAY – DECEPTION
Open Loop: What will happen to him?
Mystery: Why did this guy serve so little time? Who setup the recorder and why?
Empathy/ Distress: Disgust
PayOff: none
Irony: police have to protect criminal
Setup: the digital recorder had to be placed there for some reason
EXT. – AIRPORT – AFTERNOON – SECRET IDENTITY
Open Loop: What will this event cause?
Mystery: How did Laura know where he would land?
Empathy/ Distress: Sense of justice.
PayOff: Died for his sins
Irony: tried to run, but justice caught up to him.
Setup: The rest of the series.
INT – POLICE HQ – LATER – MYSTERY
Open Loop: Will she be able to solve the case? What is the task force for?
Mystery: Why her?
Empathy/ Distress: Anxiety
PayOff: None
Irony: She’s on a life-or-death case and they want to pull her off of it.
Setup: Hunt for Ryan will intensify.
ACT 5.
INT. STORAGE LOCKER – NIGHT – HIDDEN AGENDA
Open Loop: Are these the people she plans on killing? Who are they? Will Janice catch Laura?
Mystery: Has she killed others?
Empathy/ Distress: Shock and anxiety
PayOff: We see what Laura plans on doing
Irony: Her best friend has been tagged to hunt and stop her.
Setup: The conflict for the rest of the season.
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David Thompson’s Outline With Intrigue
What I learned doing this assignment is it’s all coming together, getting better. My internal thoughts are on the slug lines, specifically for the UNDERWORLD. There’s no day or night, it just IS, so I put in DAY
TEASER (COLD OPEN)
EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Intriguing world, Imminent threat
Desert chase – TISIPHONE, on her evil black motorcycle chases races after FALLOWS, a huge biker guy. He misses a curve and crashes into the cacti. TISIPHONE displays black wings, then dispatches FALLOWS
ACT 1:
EXT/INT. GROCERY STORE – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent Threat, Deception
Tense standoff. SIMMONS, a geeky older store manager has a TODDLER in his lap, holding a knife to its throat. DAN LANAHAN is a cop, a Lt. He is trying to defuse the situation. With him is JONES, his partner. In the midst of this is MEGAERA, furious anger directed at SIMMONS.
INT. CAR PARKING LOT – Day: MAIN INTRIGUE: Secret
FLASHBACK – Megaera appears to Simmons, tries to control him – he escapes into the store with a knife.
INT. GROCERY STORE – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent Threat, Mystery
Dan takes advantage of Simmon’s being focused on Megaera, he creeps up and shoots the man, and grabs the baby. Dan tells Megaera to stay nearby, she was interfering with a hostage situation, and he needs to get her statement. She replies by starting to tell him to “F— off” as she dissolves away. In the aftermath, Dan asks Jones about the blonde woman. No one else saw her.
EXT. GARDEN – Day: MAIN INTRIGUE: Hidden layer
GAIA is tending to her garden. Sticking plain sticks into the ground, the sticks erupt with leaves and begin growing. Tisiphone appears, she says that DELINFA sends a message. Cryptic warning about Hades.
Megaera appears, they discuss Megaera’s concern about the mortal seeing her, and losing control of the situation. Tisiphone says it’s concerning, Megaera might be slipping up, a soft spot for mortals. Megaera asks about Alecto.
EXT. CITY STREET – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Mystery, Intriguing World
ALECTO parks her maroon motorcycle. She walks up to two young men of Hispanic origins. Thinking she’s a cop, one young man bolts, and runs as it’s obvious Alecto is wanting him.
EXT. ALLEY – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Mystery, Threat
Alecto appears out of air, and carefully inspects a fingernail. With a single, fast motion, she lifts a trash can lid and holds it out of the alley. The young hispanic kid SLAMS into the lid, falling. He is dragged into the alley. When he wakes up, Alecto has him frozen, he can’t move. Alecto explains why she is there, then dispatches the kid with a single blow of her sword. A young girl has appeared, as a ghost. Alecto sits the girl on her motorcycle, and they ride away into a tunnel of light.
INT. POLICE STATION- DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Mystery
Dan discusses stand-off with the Chief. Chief reminds Dan about just desk duty after a shooting. Dan shrugs off the suggestion to talk to the department counselor.
INT. DAN’S OFFICE – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Mystery, Hidden Layer
Dan looks over the report from Jones, why no mention of the woman Dan saw? Because Jones did not see her.
ACT 2:
INT. ALECTO’S ROOM – Day: MAIN INTRIGUE: Strange Behavior
Megaera asks Alecto to look up the cop who interrupted her assignment. Using a trans-dimensional computer, Alecto quickly locates Dan in the databases.
Alecto reminds Megaera of an encounter with a mortal ages ago, she warns Megaera that relationships with mortals never end up good… at least for the mortal.
EXT. SUBURBAN STREET – NIGHT NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: ??
Dan, driving home, spots his niece walking on the sidewalk. He continues on.
INT. PARTY HOUSE – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Intriguing world
Brianna and her two friends at the party. Brianna “live blogging” the party.
EXT. DESERT – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Mystery, intriguing world
Megaera and Alecto interrupt a truck driver as he’s sneaking across the border. There’s a brief fight, then the truck driver is dispatched by Alecto’s sword. Opening the back, the truck is filled with scared children.
EXT. DAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Wound
Dan arrives, loaded down with files and some take-away bags.
INT. PARTY HOUSE – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent threat, Deception
A handsome stranger has cornered Brianna. She seems to be attracted to the guy, even if he’s older. He gives her a cup, encourages her to have a real grown up drink, not thin beer.
INT DAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Wound
An evening in the life of Dan. Take-out Chinese for him and his cat. TV is on, news about a small earthquake, then the hostage situation at the grocery store.
INT. PARTY HOUSE – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent threat, Deception
Brianna is feeling the effects of the drugged drink. She stumbles, and the stranger helps her walk outside. Her friends make jokes about how Brianna usually vomits on guys.
EXT. PARTY HOUSE – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent threat, Deception
Brianna is sick on the lawn, and the stranger helps her up.
INT PARTY HOUSE – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent Threat, Deception
Her friend gets a cell phone photo of Brianna being sick.
EXT PARTY HOUSE – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent Threat
The stranger leads Brianna away. She tries to fight it, but the drug is making her unable to fight or get away. No one else notices.
INT DAN’S BEDROOM – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Strange Behaviour
Dan is asleep. His slumper is interrupted by the sound of his cat growling and hissing. Awake, Dan rushes out into
INT HALLWAY – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Strange Behavior
The act is by the bathroom door, making a fuss. Dan goes to open the door and
INT BATHROOM – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Strange behavior
Nothing amiss in the bathroom. Dan fusses at the cat and goes to splash water on his face. As he stands up and looks at himself in the mirror, we see a figure by the bathtub. Dan turns and reacts – the figure is a specter of Brianna, mouth open in a silent scream.
ACT 3:
EXT. JOGGING TRAIL – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Mystery
If it’s not overly cliche, a jogger is running though the area. Spots some fabric flapping in a breeze, and when she/he picks it up, eyes go wide, grabs and fumbles at a cell phone.
INT DAN’S DINING ROOM – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Wound
Dan is bleary-eyed at the table. He is talking to his cat when the landline rings. As he walks to get it, his cell goes off. He answers the cell. It’s bad news. He rushes out.
EXT. PARK AND JOGGING TRAIL- Day: MAIN INTRIGUE: Msytery
Crime scene. Brianna was found tied to a tree. Cops swarm the area. Jones meets Dan, see if he’s okay to look at the scene. He confirms the body is his niece. Jones reminds Dan that he’s on desk duty, and since it is his niece, he shouldn’t be leading the investigation. He asks to be the one to inform his sister.
EXT. SISTER’S HOUSE – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Hidden Agenda
Dan exits the house and walks to his car. A woman is leaning against it, waiting for him, the woman is a younger-looking GAIA. Dan thinks she’s a reporter, and tells her to shove off. He unlocks his car and turns to say something else, and the woman is gone.
INT. FUNERAL HOME – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE:Strange World
Junior, a tall man, ageless, is setting up a tray. He rolls the tray next to a BODY, still in the BODY BAG.
He frowns and stops to light a cigar. He talks to himself. Then he blows smoke over the body and the faint outline of Brianna is seen. She coughs, then asks if he can see her. He tells her he is actually an immortal, and he can usually see spirits, but hers is quite weak. He is concerned about the marks on her face, carved into her spirit as well as her body. He explains why she is stuck, but knows some people who might be able to help.
EXT. THE UNDERWORLD – BLACK PALACE – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE:Conspiracy
An enormous hulk of black stone. A tall man, BUNE, dressed in a green tunic, marches to a door, but is stopped by a guard. Words exchanged as the guard did not challenge Bune.
INT. BLACK PALACE – HALLWAY – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Conspiracy
Bune tells the guard inside to send the guard outside to the pits, feed him to the dragons.
INT. BLACK THRONE ROOM- DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE:Conspiracy, Hidden Agenda
Bune enters the huge, black room and sees a figure on the throne. MELINOE is reclining on the throne. Bune is met by a coyote demon, who tells him the “Boss” will be returning shortly. Only one more kill, then he can return. Bune must get ready.
ACT 4:
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Mystery
Cops attending a meeting – updates on the investigation. Other cops are sympathetic. KELSEY, a fellow cop, is really worried, and suggests she drop by and help Dan if he needs it. KELSEY is obviously crushing on the Lieutenant.
Talk that this murder was similar to another in another state a week ago. Talk about it being a roaming serial killer.
Detectives leave with assignments.
INT. OFFICE – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Wound
Dan talks to Sandra, the coroner, who also acts as the department’s counselor. Dan is not interested. Hints of a past with Sandra.
EXT. UNDERWORLD – DAY(ish) (Is there night or day in the Underworld?): MAIN INTRIGUE: Conspiracy
A huge dragon streaks across the red sky. A huge army is encamped across the red landscape.
It lands, and shakes, turning into Bune. Bune goes into a tent.
INT. TENT – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE:Conspiracy
Bune meets with various generals. Most are in NAZI uniforms. Bune tells them to expect their leader shortly.
INT. FURIES HOUSE – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE:Wound
Thanatos shows up with Brianna. Alecto and Tisiphone talk to the girl. Megaera passes through and stops to look at the girl. The marks still etched into her face. Gaia is examining the marks and then asks Megaera to heal the scars. Blue light, girl is healed.
INT. DAN’S HOUSE – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE:Mystery, Hidden Agenda
Dan arrives home with more take-out bags. He’s surprised to find Gaia in his house, holding his cat. Gaia tries to talk to Dan about his niece. He’s angry, and tries to be nice, but wants her out of his house. Gaia explains the Furies are her daughters. She tries to tell him she’s the mother of all goddesses, Terra Mater, but he argues with her. Gods cannot exist.
When he turns to show her the door, Gaia has disappeared. In between him saying “Bull” and the rest of the statement.
ACT 5:
INT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT – NIGHT : MAIN INTRIGUE: STrange Behaviour
Shadows. We don’t see the figure in the chair. Just darkness. It’s like he’s talking to someone, but we only see shadows. The voices argue. Another death is needed.
INT. TENT – UNDERWORLD – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE: Conspiracy
Continues from earlier. Bune is mapping out what to expect when the “Master” returns.
EXT. DAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Wound
Dan balances files with food bags. He enters…
INT. DAN’S HOUSE – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Deception
Dan sits the stuff on the table, then sweeps the table to make room. He calls out for his cat.
Instead of the cat, Megaera enters the room, ready to confront Dan. Dan pulls his weapon. Megaera is unfazed, and sweeps him aside as she goes for the food. She is hungry. One bag is for the cat. Megaera explains the cat has been fed, and she begins to scarf the beef lo mein. Dan demands to know what she is doing in his house.
Megaera asks him how he can see what he’s not supposed to see. He wants her out, but shakes his head and sits to eat.
It’s not what she’d planned. She wants to kill him, but instead is attracted.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE: Imminent Threat
The killer is in a car, watching the entrance to a bar.
EXT. STREET – POV – NIGHT: MAIN INTRIGUE:Imminent Threat
He watches as Kelsey enters the bar. Gloved hands handle a vial of liquid.
The killer exits the car and shuts the door.
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Wayne’s Outline With Intrigue
What I learned doing this assignment is a most effective way to organize and create maximum intrigue for a Pilot script, making it binge-worthily addictive.
With each scene, determine the MAIN INTRIGUE to emphasize.
Put it in a Slugline. Give open loops, mystery, empathy/distress, payoff, irony, and setups.Teaser:
INT. SINGLE SEAT SPACESHIP – DAY (Intriguing World)
Mike finishes final checklist, launching on a 13-year mission alone with no communications with Earth to explore an inhabitable planet 6.2 lightyears away. . . 3, 2, 1, He’s on the way!
• Open Loop: Will Mike ever make it back?
• Mystery: What’s on that planet?
• Empathy/Distress: A 13-year-long mission alone!
• Payoff: Gets to explore a distant planet, potentially inhabited.
• Irony: Traveling at near-light-speed, the round trip still takes 13 years.
• Setup: Mike is on his way for an astronomical adventure!INT. STANGE MEETING PLACE ON ROMAL – EVENING (Wound)
On a strange planet, a peaceful meeting is raided, leaving a humanoid woman morning her dead lover while being arrested and scorned by an authority figure, Amixmu.
• Open Loop: Where and who is the humanoid woman, & the dead male, she cradles?
• Mystery: What was wrong with a religious meeting that justified Security killing him?
• Empathy/Distress: A woman morns over the killing of her lover, scorned by the killer.
• Payoff: A peaceful gathering is raided with deadly force.
• Irony: Instead of sympathy, Desae gets scorned by Amixmu.
• Setup: There is a great animosity between the Security Force leader, Amixmu, and Desae.Act 1:
START MONTAGE (Hidden Agenda)
Mike dreams of returning to Earth. Marrying his sister’s best friend, and raising a family, only to wake up 6.2-lightyears away from that dream.
• Open Loop: Is this his future we are seeing?
• Mystery: Will Mike return to marry Samantha and raise a family?
• Empathy/Distress: Mike is a caring family-oriented man.
• Payoff: Mike has plans to marry and raise a family.
• Irony: Mike wakes from a dream of a family to find himself 6.2-lightyears from earth.
• Setup: Mike needs to have a family one day.
END DREAM MONTAGEINT. SPACESHIP – N/A (Intriguing World)
As they near the planet, Mike is awakened from suspended animation and his dream to prepare a high orbit exploring the planet, but he and his onboard AI must transit a small meteor belt first.
• Open Loop: Will Mike ever fulfill his dream?
• Mystery: Will Mike ever meet Desae, and how?
• Empathy/Distress: Mike is alone with an AI computer so far from home.
• Payoff: He’s made it this far!
• Irony: They are so close to their objective but for a small meteor problem.
• Setup: Mike’s about to make history visiting another inhabited planet.EXT. FARM ON ROMAL – DAY (Intriguing World)
Desae is worn out farming alone while watching over her 3-year-old son, Nome. But there is much love between them.
• Open Loop: Where did Desae get a son from?
• Mystery: Why is she framing all alone?
• Empathy/Distress: Desae is a hard-working single mom, toiling to make ends meet.
• Payoff: There is much love and understanding between Desae and her son, Nome.
• Irony: Desae works hard with little to show for it.
• Setup: Is a family on Romal like a family on earth?Act 2:
INT. SPACESHIP – N/A (Imminent Threat)
As they pass through a band of asteroids, HAL maneuvers the ship to avoid collisions while destroying smaller ones with lasers. A small asteroid gets by destroys the ship’s fuel transfer valve, necessitates a crash-landing, and leaves Mike no chance of returning to Earth. HAL locates the best option for a crash-landing and survival thereafter.
• Open Loop: How can Mike ever return to earth?
• Mystery: Will Mike and Desae meet, and how?
• Empathy/Distress: Mike deals with the emergency while realizing he’ll never return to earth.
• Payoff: Mike has a great helpmate in HAL, the onboard AI computer.
• Irony: Mike’s only acquaintance is HAL, the ship’s AI.
• Setup: Mike will be stranded on the planet where Desae lives.EXT. SMALL FARM ON ROMAL – DAY (Wound)
With crops to harvest, Desae climbs on her tractor, tired, frustrated, and lonely, so she looks up to Logard (God), asking for help, and sees Mike’s ship descend overhead. She rushes to the crash site.
• Open Loop: How will a meeting between literally star-crossed humanoids go?
• Mystery: How will these two different beings relate?
• Empathy/Distress: Desae is a hard-working single mom being worn down.
• Payoff: As she asks Logard (God) for help, she sees Mike’s ship overhead.
• Irony: As much as Desae needs help, it is Mike who needs help right now.
• Setup: This is what we’ve been waiting for, Mike and Desae meet.Midpoint:
EXT. CRASH SITE – DAY (Strange Behavior)
Desae can see Mike sealed in the small spaceship unconscious and bleeding, but she can’t open it, until HAL assesses the situation and Desae. Then HAL opens the hatch and releases Mike’s safety restraints so Desae can take Mike home to care for him.
• Open Loop: How can Desae help Mike?
• Mystery: What will happen when Mike comes to.
• Empathy/Distress: Desae is a good woman with compassion for an alien human.
• Payoff: Desae carries Mike off to bring him to her home.
• Irony: Mike came to observe from high orbit, soon to be up close and personal.
• Setup: Mike is in Desae’s arms, much like her betrothed was when he was killed.Act 3:
EXT. CRASH SITE – EVENING (Mystery)
Amixmu, stern Security Force leader, arrives at the crash site, and observes the spaceship, blood on the empty seat, etc. Seeking to kill the alien invader, Amixmu follows Desae’s tractor tracks toward her farm, as dusk makes the wind dusted tracks increasingly difficult to follow.
• Open Loop: Will Amixmu kill Mike w/o giving him a chance to be captured peacefully?
• Mystery: Why is Amixmu so hard, mean, and determined to kill the Alien?
• Empathy/Distress: Amixmu is agitated that the alien got away.
• Payoff: He’s too late to find Mike.
• Irony: In saving Mike, Desae leads Amixmu right to him.
• Setup: Amixmu is an immanent threat to Mike’s and Desae’s lives!Act 4:
INT. DESAE’S FARMHOUSE – DUSK (Hidden Agenda)
Unconscious and stripped of his space suit, Desae cleans a puncture wound in Mike’s side as 3-year-old, Nome, watches, overwhelmed with fear & curiosity. Unaware they are sitting ducks for Amixmu, she tells Nome, that Logard’s voice told her, “Love Mike.”
• Open Loop: Can this arrangement possibly work out?
• Mystery: Can Mike survive on Romal?
• Empathy/Distress: Desae has compassion for a strange, injured alien.
• Payoff: Mike has no idea he’s about to meet a very different Humanoid.
• Irony: Mike gathering information from high orbit, will now permanently live there.
• Setup: Desae believes Logard (God) told her to “Love Mike”!EXT. ROMAL WILDERNESS – NIGHT (Imminent Threat)
As night falls it becomes increasing slow & difficult for Amixmu to follow the dusted over tracks. A fierce wild beast stalks him from behind, but he hears it, turns, kills it, thinking it was the alien invader. He closes himself into his vehicle, settling in for the night.
• Open Loop: Can Amixmu continue to follow Desae’s tracks?
• Mystery: Just how treacherous is Romal’s society and wilderness.
• Empathy/Distress: Amixmu is almost killed by a vicious wild predator.
• Payoff: He must wait out the night, giving Desae & Mike a little time.
• Irony: The predator became the prey, (applies to both Amixmu & the beast).
• Setup: Amixmu is willing and capable of killing Mike (& Desae)!Act 5:
INT. DESAE’S FARMHOUSE – NIGHT (Intriguing World)
Nome expresses his fear of the strange space alien, as Desae looks Mike over. Amixmu will certainly find them in the morning, but for now, when Mike begins to stir, Nome hides. Desae investigating his face, so her pale magenta face is the first unearthly image Mike sees. (Episode 2, next week)
• Open Loop: How will Mike & Desae’s first meeting go?
• Mystery: How can Mike avoid Amixmu, or survive on Romal?
• Empathy/Distress: Mike & Desae must resolve insurmountable complications.
• Payoff: Mike & Desae will finally meet face to face.
• Irony: From 6.2-lightyears apart to face to face, literally in the blink of an eye.
• Setup: It ALL comes down to THIS! -
Moses Quainoo
MOD 3 – LESSON 12: OUTLINE WITH
INTRIGUE“What I learned doing this assignment is…?”
ASSIGNMENT
Complete your Outline.
THE DO WELLS – OUTLINE
TEASER
ESSENCE: Two teams of The DO-Wells are on a mission.
The Do-Wells takes three seconds to capture four militants hiding among the populace. A BALLERINA busts the front door down and enters, meeting a ferocious knife attack and gunfire from her enemies. (MYSTERY): Why does a Ballerina performing on stage suddenly attack an audience member? (INTRIGUE): Who is the Ballerina on the stage?
LOVEDAY defends herself, attacks and floors the suspect in seconds for TeamLOVEDAY. They kill the gunman who tries to escape.
Team A.C. captures their suspects. The Do-Wells emphasizes team spirit and is one powerful organization today.
Jennifer Sebastian documents their times and declares this mission a success. They return to base early in the morning.
LOVEDAY fails the assignment — capture the militants alive — because one dies. She has trouble following orders, preferring to do it her way. Lt. Col. FRANK Sebastian, her father, reminds her that justice is not up to her discretion. LOVEDAY contends the most important goal was to stop the targets, which she did. FRANK states that her flaw made her lose the Presidency to A.C. She must learn to take orders as given.
TURNING POINT: One female teamleader failed her assignment because a militant died. As punishment, BALLERINA receives orders from FRANK, the founder, to scout for talent at the Center. She must recruit a handful of spies, as three have recently died in Algeria and Yemen. (SURFACE LAYER 3): A.C. gets orders to help her.
MAIN MYSTERY: Three men get killed. Two men die in action in Algeria and one in Yemen. (SUB OPEN LOOP): Who are they, and what were they up to? Why does The Do-Wells want to recruit talents? Can the dead be replaced easily? What do scouts look for in a recruit? The Origins of THE DO-WELLS. The Origins of The Do-Wells.
(MAIN OPEN LOOP): Who will replace the dead? What did the scouts spot in Brader HEW that made them record the fight?
SIGNIFICANT MYSTERY/CONFLICT: The Do-Wells recruit talents to replace the dead members. HEW is an expert BOXER.
Act 1:
Essence:
BRADER HEW is a flour Loader who handles his extended family. HEW has no girlfriend.
Beginning:
(HEW – OPENING): (SURFACE LAYER 1) BRADER HEW handles his extended family. He starts his day by checking the family house at sunrise to determine how his relatives are faring. Why is HEW, in early adulthood, handling the extended family?
(CHARACTER HISTORY): HEW is the first male adult in an extended family house. He has two paternal Aunts and supports his aged mother, ailing grandmother, and four cousins who are girls. HEW gets little help from the sole male cousin, who is sixteen. (BENEATH SURFACE LAYER 1): HEW’S father died when he was sixteen, and the burden fell on him.
He faces life head-on like many and knows to take an opportunity when one strikes. One day, a prospect presented itself that HEW noticed.
(INTRIGUE 1): He enters his family house compound. (INTRIGUE 1-HIDDEN LAYER): His thirteen-year-old female cousin washes last night’s dinner plates. When she lifts her head and sees HEW, she utters that her Champion is home this early. Once she has seen him, she knows she will not go hungry. Her fifteen-year-old sister sweeps the leaves from the trees on the compound.
(INTRIGUE 1-MYSTERY): He finds a Final Warning sticker on the main building. The HEWs must pay property tax or face an auction. OPEN LOOP: How will he get the money to cover the family members?
Auction a family house? The statement has never been overdue. (OPEN-LOOP): Why is he concerned about the sticker? HEW is the first adult son and must pay the bills. How much is the assessment? One year in arrears. Auction the family house because of one-year arrears? The youngest cousin says rumors circulate the A.M.A. officials delayed the bill. The threat is unjust. (IRONY): The family house is owned by family members, alive and yet unborn.
HEW will look for the money to clear the tax.
The odd jobs he endeavors to get daily are never specific and require strength and endurance. When the day closes, his wages vary as the compensation package is unnegotiated beforehand, and the final decision is up to the customer who pays.
(INTRIGUE 2): HEW meets with his eldest AUNT on the way to the separate bathroom. (HOW SURFACE LAYER 1 REVEALED): She asks for his and his grandmother’s share of the tax.
(DILEMMA): What about his four female cousins still in middle school? Shouldn’t he pay to cover them? And his sixteen-year-old male cousin? Now he is a second-year student cadet at the Military’s Bad Boys Company.
(OPEN-LOOP): How will he get the money to cover the family members? His three female COUSINS are scared about where to get their tax portion and shout that HEW covers them. Are their fathers not responsible for their daughters? What happened to their fathers? The girls live in the family house and must contribute. How does HEW expect them to find the money? Here is a bill pile up, and he does not have a girlfriend and can’t start a family. The fear of where to get their portion of the tax provokes his three female cousins to shout that HEW cover.
(INTRIGUE 3): He promises to pay when he returns from the Center. MUST MAKE DECISIONS WITH FUTURE CONSEQUENCES: HEW is handling his extended family now and must find a girlfriend to woo, marry and start a family someday. His Aunt is concerned he has to be lucky to get a job there.
HEW is third in the queue to the bathroom.
(ENDING): (HOW SURFACE LAYER 1 REVEALED): (INTRIGUE 4-MYSTERY): His mother strides into the compound to say his grandmother’s malaria is worsening. HEW had no idea why she had come and what she wanted to tell him. He was yet to step into the sick grandmother’s bedroom to find out how she was doing this morning. HURT THOSE THEY LOVE: Leaving his sick grandmother till sundown when he returns from the Center. The hospitals in the country operate on a Cash and Carry basis.
She tells HEW she needs money to buy anti-malaria drugs. The need for money is even greater. HEW asked what happened to the money he gave her last night, and she answered she went to pay off the debt later that night. HEW bath and leaves for the Center wearing his Fugu trousers.
(HEW -TURNING POINT 1): HEW’s need for cash is even greater.
HEW is the first male adult in his family. HEW and the eldest Aunt are the only breadwinners. His sick grandmother has malaria that threatens to stop him from going to look for work. Must he charter a taxi to take Granny to the hospital? He needs cash. No family member has the money to buy anti-malaria drugs at the chemist. HEW needs a bank account or girlfriend to borrow money from.
Act 2:
Essence:
Two female RIDERS, 1 and 2, are scouting at the INTERNATIONAL TRADE FAIR CENTER to recruit talents secretly into their business model.
RIDER 1 CHARACTER ARC: RIDER 1 failed her last mission, gets an order to scout for talent to recruit, and snatches the meal from HEW.
RIDER 2 CHARACTER ARC: RIDER 2, a friend and coworker, gets an order to help RIDER 1 and approve a technical innovation for this year’s Arena.
(INTRIGUE 1): (HORSE RIDERS–OPENING): Two female RIDERS, 1 and 2, (INTRIGUE 2-HIDDEN AGENDA:): fasten their horses to a short tree in the light forest behind the Center. (OPEN-LOOP): Why are they at the Center? (LOVEDAY -OPENING): RIDER 1 failed her last mission and got an order to scout for talents and recruit secretly.
(AC-OPENING): RIDER 2 has orders to help RIDER 1. (HIDDEN LAYER): The RIDERS know one of Ferdinand Chopstones’ loyal followers who frequents the Center. Who is Chopstones?
RIDER 2 talks of retiring when her term ends. She will look for a man to marry and raise kids. RIDER 1 says she will be her bridesmaid when the time comes.
The RIDERS walk across the rear car park and enter the back pedestrian gates.
RIDERS 1 and 2 show up in a crowd of men in the street. (OPEN-LOOP): Who are these men? (EXPLANATION): At the COOP FLOUR DISTRIBUTORS ASSOCIATION Portakabin offices, an A-signboard on the left side of Kerbing proclaims Loaders for Hire.
ISHEY’s CHARACTER ARC: A friend and teammate joins HEW to work at the Center to start adult life and faces the job vanishing.
(ISHEY–OPENING): ISHEY GARFUNK is a school leaver who wants to pursue a career and start an adult and family life. ISHEY cannot find a job after one week of leaving school. He met HEW in the entrance hall of Cameo Cinema and inquired about a job.
(HEW/ISHEY–OPENING): HEW meets ISHEY GARFUNK in the vast car park in front of the INTERNATIONAL TRADE FAIR CENTER. ISHEY is joining HEW for the first time to look for work at the Center. (SURFACE LAYER 2): HEW says they will be loading and dealing out of goods. The truth is each good weighs fifty pounds. ISHEY needs a job badly. He needs to ask what kind of work he will be doing. HEW says ISHEY’s work gear(P.P.E.) is manageable, and the top is nonstick. They go into the yard.
RIDER 2 suggests to RIDER 1 that they stroll to the Foreign Exchange shop on the first floor of the Administrative block. She is thirsty.
HEW and (HEW- TURNING POINT 2): THE GAZE: ISHEY pass by RIDERS 1 and 2. HEW loves attractive women, and the two RIDERS meet the taste.
(HEW/ISHEY TURNING POINT 1): HEW and ISHEY get to the Coop Offices and unite with the crowd.
(MAJOR CONFLICT): The MANAGER emerges out of his Portakabin 1 into the street. A referee’s whistle dangles around the neck. (OPEN-LOOP): What is the MANAGER going to do with the whistle? HEW and ISHEY come into the open.
(MAIN CONFLICT): The MANAGER talks to over three hundred JOB SEEKERS. He says he wants a workforce rather than people holding paper qualifications. (OPEN-LOOP): How is the MANAGER going to pick the right workers?
(HEW -MIDPOINT 1): (INTRIGUE 5: HIDDEN LAYER): The MANAGER points to ten lengthy unfilled VEHICLES sleeping two hundred yards distant and says he has sixty jobs for them. They will leave the capital to load and dispense goods. (CRUCIBLE): When the whistle goes, JOB SEEKERS should hasten to grab six spots on each VEHICLE to qualify. RIDERS 1 and 2 are on the first-floor landing and have their backs against the railing, and the VEHICLES are asleep below.
INTRIGUE 4: HIDDEN LAYER: Everyone focuses on the MANAGER. No one can tell when the MANAGER’S whistle will go. (OPEN-LOOP): Everybody stays alert to find out when the race will start. The RIDERS heard the shrill whistle and turned to look—the swarm races to seize spots on the lengthy sleeping VEHICLES below. The SUPERVISOR blows his whistle from PORTAKABIN 2. The RIDERS heard the shrill and turned around to see what goes. The shrill was not from the MANAGER’s whistle. What do I do? Ishey gets a head start and sprints. The shrill comes from SUPERVISOR’S whistle, who sits unnoticed in Portakabin 2.
(ISHEY TURNING POINT): No one told ISHEY the SUPERVISOR could also blow the whistle. HEW, ISHEY, and the JOB SEEKERS receive the day’s opportunity and sprint to seize six places on each VEHICLE. ISHEY gets a head start.
(INCITING INCIDENT): (INTRIGUE 5: DANGER): HEW joins the furious race. (EXPOSED): A JOB SEEKER boots another in his path to gain an advantage. RIDERS 1 and 2 see the cheating among the runners. ISHEY assumes HEW is behind, running to the exact VEHICLE as him. ISHEY leaps onto VEHICLE 8 and occupies the fourth spot. Cheats among them.
(HEW-MAIN TURNING POINT ): INTRIGUE 3: DANGER): HEW hops onto VEHICLE 8. (CRUCIBLE): He connects with another job seeker, the cheat for the sixth spot. HEW will go home full-handed. (EXPOSED): The others expose the aspirant as unfair. HEW will fight to win the place. Now every vehicle is filled. Did other JOB SEEKERS connect on the other VEHICLES?
(DILEMMA): Give up the position? Return home empty-handed and face his sick grandmother or clash with the person standing before him?
HEW can only make money in the day if he wins the spot. His opponent strikes first.
PILOT CONFLICT:
TURNING POINT: (FORCED DECISION): HEW’S competitor strikes first. (LAYER BENEATH SURFACE 2): INTRIGUE 6: HIDDEN AGENDA: HEW is an expert Boxer. (HOW SURFACE LAYER 2 REVEALED): HEW involves in a proficient and delicate MARTIAL ARTS/BOXER fight to keep the spot. (INTRIGUE 7: HIDDEN AGENDA): Both men show rare abilities and fighter skills.
INTRIGUE 8: CONSPIRACY:
MAIN MIDPOINT: (UNCOVER DEEPER LAYER): RIDERS 1 and 2 spot HEW’S fighting skills (LOVEDAY/AC MIDPOINT): RIDERS 1 and 2 are scouts looking to recruit talents. They depress the buttons on their riding hats to capture the event on cameras built into the crests.
(MAIN OPEN LOOP): What will the SCOUTS do with the recording? S.U.B.-(OPEN LOOPS): What interested the scouts? Did HEW know about the recording? What will the SCOUTS do next?
(SECRET IDENTITY): RIDER 1 is LOVEDAY SEBASTIAN, and RIDER 2 is A.C. They are core members of THE DO-WELLS Intelligence Gathering organization. A.C. and LOVEDAY are Master Spies and Kung Fu champions. LOVEDAY is the Second-In-Command. (BENEATH SURFACE LAYER 3): But AC is the PRESIDENT.
SUB-MYSTERIES: How did the RIDERS get to the Center? Does HEW know the scouts? Do the scouts learn HEW? What are the scouts looking for in HEW? Why are the scouts capturing the fight covertly? What is it about HEW that interest the scouts? What do the scouts see that we cannot? How did HEW pique the interest of the scouts?
HEW begins his journey to become a successful Master spy in Africa.
(EXPLANATION): AC and LOVEDAY are core members of The Do-Wells, and they watch the events below. ISHEY is surprised at HEW’s performance and excited about his fighting skills. HEW is under pressure to win the fight and get on board the departing vehicle. A.C. and LOVEDAY are under pressure to track HEW.
ISHEY impress on their driver to await the results of the fight. Time is ticking.
HEW wins the fight, and ISHEY extends a helping hand to HEW to board VEHICLE 8. LOVEDAY’s interest in HEW piques.
On the trip, ISHEY is determined to follow through with what lies ahead.
(INTRIGUE 6: CONSPIRACY): LOVEDAY launches the Kingfisher drone to keep track. Riding back, she reports she found the man of her dreams. She will issue her orders.
Act 3:
Essence:
Eighteen miles away, at the Port /City, VEHICLE 8 reverses into the Flour Mill loading bay.
HEW discovers from the Production Supervisor the Mill runs low on wheat. HEW, ISHEY, and the boarding team fill the trailer and travel around neighboring towns and cities, dealing out the bags for payment.
(AC TURNING POINT): (HOW SURFACE LAYER 3 REVEALED): A.C. announces that The Do-Wells Annual Contests will come in December. (INTRIGUE): What are the Contests, and how many are there? How long does the Contest last? Why fix annual competitions in December when Christians celebrate X’mas? What are the various events? Where will the contests take place? How big is the area? Sixty miles square? The MARTIAL ARTS/BOXER tournament will take up the final three days. Why is the BOXER contest slated for the last three days? Is it three days to the end of December? A.C. says members must enter and win this event before induction into The Do-Wells as Master Spies. The prize is six million dollars. What category of membership has The Do-Wells?
At headquarters, agents are wagering on possible contest entrants and voting on choices for the Arena, which is technologically heightened each year as an added challenge to entrants.
(MAIN TURNING POINT): (AC ENDING): A.C. approves one technical innovation to this year’s Arena: (SETUP): The Essel Poles cauldron. (MYSTERY): What is the technological innovation called the Essel Poles cauldron? (INTRIGUE): What is this technological innovation?
Late that night, VEHICLE 8 returns to the Center’s car park. The management turned off the car park floodlights to save cash. (HEW TURNING POINT 1): HEW jumps down from the back of the vehicle.
ISHEY, two others drop off and part ways.
INTRIGUE 8: INTRIGUING WORLD: (LOVEDAY TURNING POINT 2): LOVEDAY sits on a car bonnet near them and reaches up to recover her drone.
(DILEMMA): LOVEDAY wants to know where HEW lives. (SETUP): (OPEN LOOP): Will HEW be LOVEDAY’s man? Will she use a cold approach? She must choose between business and pleasure.
(INTRIGUE- DANGER): She follows HEW across the central Giffard Road and stops him. Who are you?
(LOVEDAY TURNING POINT 3): LOVEDAY introduces herself. What are the reasons for stopping me? She mentions the morning’s fight.
(HIDDEN AGENDA): She says she wants to engage HEW services for a job. My hands are full. LOVEDAY says the job makes use of his fighter skills. HEW says LOVEDAY sees the fun in fighting. Do you know how my body aches from constant blows? LOVEDAY says she knows the pain after. (UNIQUE PURPOSE/EXPERTISE OF LEAD CHARACTER): LOVEDAY says HEW has fighting skills, and she recruits people with the exact skills. (REAL REASON BEHIND ACTIONS): The first step is HEW must join their Club. HEW thinks he will need more time for clubs and mingling.
(INCITING INCIDENT OF SEASON 1):
(IMPOSSIBLE GOAL): LOVEDAY says HEW must partner with her (DEEPER MYSTERY) to enter the six-million-dollar BOXER/MARTIAL ARTS contest. How long has the BOXER Contest been going on?
(MAIN CONFLICT): He must win the tournament in December before training as a spy. HEW never considered becoming a spy. Why do you want me to be a spy? I want to act.
How could he say no? And HEW is a competent BOXER. She will snatch his daily meal.
(LOVEDAY MIDPOINT): LOVEDAY says she built a weak profile of him and will snatch his daily meal unless HEW agrees. (SUB OPEN LOOP): Is (SETUP): HEW safe with LOVEDAY? How will HEW explain his association with the organization to his extended family?
(HEW DILEMMA): How will he handle his family if what LOVEDAY says is true? He has no bank account and never owned one thousand dollars, talk of six million. She is a scaremonger to get him to enlist in their Club. He knows his beliefs.
(HURT THOSE THEY LOVE): By entering the BOXER contest, HEW is setting up problems for his extended family. He wants LOVEDAY to prove something. Asking LOVEDAY to confirm something, HEW has become the prisoner and the vanquisher. (MAJOR CONFLICT): LOVEDAY gives HEW a choice between starvation, six million dollars, and a job. (MYSTERY): Faced with a job crisis (OPEN-LOOP): why is HEW wary of the offer?
INTRIGUE 9: WOUND/DANGER: She says HEW decided his grandmother and relatives starve. (SETUP): Will the family find out? (SUB-OPEN-LOOP): What can LOVEDAY do next to snatch the meal from HEW?
(HEW’s TURNING POINT): HEW demands LOVEDAY to prove who she is or nothing.
(TURNING POINT 3):
LOVEDAY says unless HEW agrees, she will snatch HEW’s daily meal.
FRANK is home early to review LOVEDAY’s report. LOVEDAY tells him about the discovery of HEW and the sign he wants. She tells him of her email to the Convener of Contests asking for a place for HEW in the BOXER tournament.
Loveday is making a significant change outside The Do-Wells regulation. She is making mistakes. Her life has gone in an unexpected direction.
Her goal is to feature her discovery, HEW, in the Contest. She believes he can win and then pair up with her to do one job no one is taking:
An oil minister in Brunei steals $8.9bn of oil money and seeks asylum in Cuba. Apart from police protection, teams of BOXER experts guard him. The Sultan of Brunei wants him captured and brought alive to face his people. This job is vital to LOVEDAY because it will raise the tally of her mission successes and make an incredible $1bn income for the organization.
LOVEDAY believes that will promote her to The Presidency when A.C. steps down. FRANK wants HEW’SHEW’S ability to fight seriously tested, and if he wins the BOXER tournament, HEW must train as a Master Spy before FRANK considers pairing him up with his daughter.
Her problem is that Contestants must be serving members to gain registration. LOVEDAY asks FRANK if he will ask for special eligibility for HEW.
(LOVEDAY DELIMMA): She tells FRANK about shutting the country out of the Capitals Markets. Creditors should refrain from giving the country money to import wheat. New plans lead to worse results.
At home, HEW finds his mother and grandmother still awake and hungry. They assume HEW’SHEW’S found a new woman and has spent all his money on her. They discuss their readiness to negotiate with her to stop them from starving. HEW goes to sleep in the communal DEN where transient workers sleep, leaving no space for HEW. HEW prays and rests while standing.
Two hours later, a thunderstorm floods The Den with one inch of water. The roof leaks several places, and water drips onto HEW, soaking him. The squatters share the few remaining dry spaces.
Act 4:
Essence:
An effort to resolve the wheat shortage worsens the situation. The following day, western creditors pull the strings on the country. Western creditors influence the Government to dip.
TURNING POINT 1: A PRODUCTION SUPERVISOR says HEW that the current Government needs to secure funding to continue importing wheat.
When the trucks are gone, the Supervisor lies back to read newspapers whose headlines point to the Government’s inability to pay for wheat imports. The shortage is a real threat.
(MAIN TURNING POINT):
The Coop MANAGER regulates the daily trips each vehicle can make to the loading bay.
LOVEDAY forces Teamleader Wah Wah Rah to bolt with the team’s money moments to the end of work to prove her power.
(CRUCIBLE): Two weeks, the Flour Mill runs out of wheat and stops production. (LAYER BENEATH): FORCED DECISION: The Government needs Foreign Exchange to import grain in the next six months.
(LOVEDAY ENDING): LOVEDAY threatens HEW again, telling him his grandmother and cousins will starve. LOVEDAY says starvation is only the beginning.
(MAJOR CONFLICT): TURNING POINT 2: HEW’s team makes diminishing trips to the loading bay and makes less money. (SURFACE LAYER 4): The wheat shortage is real.
(SECOND MYSTERY): Introduce MYSTERY 2 – How will HEW and Ishey reach the impossible goal with HEW’s unaddressed hernia? Where will they get funding?
TURNING POINT): LOVEDAY demands HEW join their Club, enter and win the six million dollars BOXER contest, or his grandmother and relatives die.
Act 5:
Essence:
(BENEATH SURFACE LAYER 4): Realize the current GovernmentGovernment needs to secure funds to pay for wheat importation.
The Coop Flour Distribution Association closes offices. HEW and Ishey need a job to go to at the Center. HEW must cater to the family and look for work that hardly exists.
It turns out ISHEY flopped his G.C.E. Examination out of high fertility disorder.
DILEMMA: No job, lost family trust, sleeps in the Den. He has kicked the meal from the table of his relatives, him and countrywide. HEW is desperate to find a position to provide for the family. HEW must determine when and how the next wages will come from. He needs to learn the power of the organization and what it can do.
(HEW/ISHEY – ENDING):
Turning Point:
Lock In: The job dries away. Asking LOVEDAY to prove something, HEW has become the prisoner and the vanquisher. He has kicked the meal from the table of his relatives, him and countrywide. (HOW SURFACE LAYER 4 REVEALED): (HEW/ ISHEY ENDING): (HOW REVEALED): FORCED DECISION: HEW needs a job at the Center. HEW’s worst fears. He must cater to the family. The Do-Wells aim to hire him. What are HEW and Ishey going to do? (MAIN OPEN LOOP): What will HEW discover about the MARTIAL ARTS/BOXER contest? (SETUP): Will The Do-Wells recruit HEW?
(SEASON 1 A.R.C.): From the entire flour loading job drying away, winning the Contest, and the need to cash the prize cheque.
(SEASON 1 PROTAGONIST INTERNAL JOURNEY): From handling his extended family to wooing A.C. for his girlfriend.
1. With MAIN INTRIGUE that you will emphasize in that scene.
Intriguing World:
Mystery:
Secret:
Deception:
Conspiracy:
Secret Identity:
Wound:
Hidden Agenda:
Hidden Layer:
Strange Behavior:
Imminent Threat:
Suspicion:1. Finding the MAIN INTRIGUE of the scene.
EXT – FAMILY HOUSE – DAY (INTRIGUE/HIDDEN LAYER)
SCENE ARC:
HEW checks into the family house, sees two cousins doing chores, and finds a Warning sticker on the building.
DESCRIPTION:
BRADER HEW checks in the family house daily to determine how his extended family is faring.
He finds his thirteen-year-old female cousin washing last night’s dinner plates and the fifteen-year-old sweeping the compound.
A Final Warning sticker on the main building asks the HEWS must settle their property tax assessment or face an auction. The statement has never been overdue.
START: HEW’s first call of the day at the family house.
CHALLENGING SITUATION: HEW aims to determine how the extended family is faring.
CONFLICT: A Final Warning sticker is on the main house. The HEWS must pay or face auction.
ACTION: HEW promises to pay when he returns from the Center.
FINISH: HEW believes there is no justice in the statement.
EXT – FAMILY HOUSE – DAY (HIDDEN LAYER)
BRADER HEW is checking in the family house. First time today. He wants to determine how his extended family is faring.
His thirteen-year-old female cousin washes last night’s dinner plates, and the fifteen-year-old sweeps the compound.
A Final Warning sticker on the main building asks the HEWS to pay a one-year property tax assessment or face an auction. The statement has never been overdue. His youngest cousin says the A.M.A. officials delayed the bill.
HEW says the threat to auction the family house out of one-year arrears is unjustified.
HEW meets with his eldest Aunt on the way to the separate bathroom. She asks for his and his grandmother’s share of the tax. The fear of where to get their portion of the tax provokes his three female cousins to shout that HEW cover. HEW promises to pay when he returns from the Center.
EXT – FAMILY HOUSE – DAY (HIDDEN LAYER)
ACT 1: OUTLINE WITH INTRIGUE
BRADER HEW is checking the family house. First time today. He wants to determine how his extended family is faring.
His thirteen-year-old female cousin washes last night’s dinner plates, and the fifteen-year-old sweeps the compound.
A Final Warning sticker on the main building asks the HEWS to pay their property tax or face an auction. The bill has never been late. His youngest cousin says rumors circulating that the A.M.A. officials delayed the bill.
MYSTERY: The bill has never been late. Who delayed the bill? Why? What is the assessment?
EMPATHY/DISTRESS: HEW is worried. A need for cash is added to him.
OPEN LOOP: What is the family going to do about this bill?
PAYOFF: None.
OPEN LOOP: How is he going to handle the payment?
SETUP: HEW must pay to cover the frail, teenagers, and those still at school.
SETUP: Red Flag. As the first male adult HEW cannot be left off the hook except by family members in employment.
HEW says the threat to auction the family house out of one-year arrears is unjustified.
HEW meets with his eldest Aunt on the way to the separate bathroom. She asks for his and his grandmother’s share of the tax. The fear of where to get their portion of the tax provokes his three female cousins to shout that HEW cover. HEW promises to pay when he returns from the Center.
MYSTERY: Auction of the family house? Because of one-year arrears? Is such a move justified?
OPEN LOOP: What is the purpose of delaying the bill? Will the officials who delayed the bill be found out? And prosecuted? Or get away with it?
IRONY: The bill that was delayed finally came to light.
SETUP: The bill was delayed to deprive the military junta of cash to run the country.
SETUP: We are about to meet the super-secret spies who can hold the nation to more ransom by cutting the economy from Capital Markets.
CONCEPT: The Do Wells in our midst.
. Put the main intrigue of your scene in the Slugline. Then give us the open loops, mystery, empathy/distress, payoff, irony, and setups that will show up in this scene.
INT. LOCATION – DAY: MAIN INTRIGUE
Description:
Open Loop:
Mystery:
Empathy/Distress:
Payoff:
Irony:
Setup:-
This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Moses Quainoo.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Moses Quainoo.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Moses Quainoo.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
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