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Lesson 7
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Rebecca’s Life-Threatening Sequence
I learned that the Villian’s Plan and the Mystery Sequence help set up the life-threatening sequences.
Singer escapes her abusive Manager during a concert just before a world tour. She fears she will die on the tour. What does she know?
1. The anorexic singer, drenched and shivering, hides in the Hero’s garden and pleads for asylum. He agrees and unknowingly puts himself in danger.
2. The Manager sends his security team to hunt for the girl. When they don’t find her, he calls the police saying the singer suffers a nervous breakdown. Could the Hero be arrested?
3. The Hero learns on local television news that the police are looking for the singer suffering a nervous breakdown and appealing to the public to report if they’ve spotted her. The police might arrest the Hero for not responding.
4. The next day the Hero learns that the singer’s Manager received a ransom note for 10 million dollars, and the FBI is now involved in the search. Will he be branded a kidnapper and prosecuted?
5. The Hero, a security expert, tries to carry on with business as usual. Things get dicey when the Manager calls him to the convention center to check the camera footage. Can he keep his cool and not arouse suspicion from the Manager?
6. When the Hero’s house cameras show men in black doing a door-to-door search in his neighborhood, he hides the girl in a secret closet under the stairs. The men flash fake badges and search warrants, carry guns, and search his townhouse. Who are these thugs?
7. He and the disguised girl load the work panel truck, drive through rural Southside Virginia, and up into the mountains to a secluded tourist cabin near a mountaintop. Again his security cameras show activity. He and the girl barely escape.
8. When Hero and the girl manage to evade all pursuers, the Manager covertly involves bounty hunters to track her down and bring her back unscathed.
9. Impatient, the Manager’s boss threatens him and sends out his mercenaries, professional assassins, to find and kill the singer’s accomplice and arrange fatal accidents for anyone she may have contacted or spoken to.
10. When the Hero learns of the trail of deaths behind them, he moves the singer to a secured paramilitary training center in North Carolina and into a caretaker house.
11. Spotted by one of his clients in a grocery store, the Hero acts as usual and claims to be working a job in the area. He worries the hunters are getting close.
12. He finds and removes a tracking chip implanted into the girl’s earlobe. Is it too late to escape, and to where?
13. He places a call from a locked, secure phone at the training center and learns that someone threatened to kill the singer’s family unless he turns her in.
14. On the next trip to the store, the Manager and two burley guards confront the Hero and drive him to the training center. Will they kill him and take the girl?
15. They learn the Manager is not the true Villain and that all of them are a small part of something much bigger.
16. The Hero expects the worse, but instead of shooting him, the Manager strikes a deal for joint survival. Will they outwit the bigger Villain and the politicians he controls, some in high places?
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Liz Janzen’s Life Threatening Sequence in The Maze
The Villain’s plan and how it puts the Hero in danger: The Villain’s plan is revenge on the Hero’s husband which includes kidnapping and killing her.
1. Someone is taking surveillance photos of Laura on the day her husband leaves town.
2. Her husband Richard completely blindsides her when she receives a ‘Dear Jane’ letter from him telling her he has left the marriage.
3. Someone sabotages her market garden by cutting off the water to the sprinkler system during a heat wave.
4. Laura hires an ex-con asking for work (Steve) to help with her garden, against the advice of her best friend Sylvie.
5. Sylvie discovers – just as she is about to board a plane to Australia – that Steve is not who he says he is and tries to warn Laura by email and voicemail to get rid of him.
6. Steve intercepts Sylvie’s warnings so that Laura never sees them.
7. Steve begins staying on Laura’s property after she offers him the use of her guest house.
8. A warning message from Sylvie slips past Steve and gets to Laura. She calls 911 before Steve can stop her.
10. Police arrive at the door. Steve tells her if she sends them away he will tell her the truth about who he is and about Richard’s past. She is forced to make the decision whether to trust Steve or let the cops in and have Steve arrested.
11. She decides to gamble on Steve’s promise to level with her.
12. Steve learns from contacts in Europe that the tables have been turned on Richard and that Kornikov has him. Steve feels compelled to go and rescue him. He teaches Laura how to use his gun.
13. A minion of Kornikov’s arrives at night. Steve kills him and learns from the dead man’s cell phone that Laura is a kidnap target.
14. Steve buries the body in the garden without Laura ever learning about the man’s arrival.
15. Steve leaves to rescue Richard, believing he has thwarted the danger to Laura.
16. Laura finds a bullet casing in the grass that does not match Steve’s gun.
17. Laura realizes that she alone must save herself if someone comes for her.
18. Kornikov himself arrives but she is prepared and kills him with Steve’s gun in the maze on her property.
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What I learned is danger begins in the first 10 pages and is present on every page thereafter.
Villain’s plan and how it puts the Hero in danger: He feigns a business meeting to meet his estranged son. Before meeting, he mistakenly kills Beth and covers it up but Nora saw him commit the crime.
Sequence
1. Opens with the Other Woman stalking Peter which turns into a drunken encounter and staged violence.
2. Wrongly accused by Nora, Peter falls into cheating ways with her best friend Beth.
3. The Other Woman and boyfriend Leo blackmail and stalk Peter even after he ends the extortion.
4. Given alleged infidelity with the Other Woman, Nora meets Beth at a European hotel. While Beth chooses the Elegant Man (EM) over Nora, Leo drugs Nora at the bar.
5. She returns to the apartment where she witnesses Beth’s murder.
6. Peter’s business takes him to the same hotel where he courts an investor and mentions he needs help with a minor complication.
7. Nora agrees to meet and they head to the countryside where a tour guide (Leo) spooks Nora underground and tries to kill her in the sauna.
8. Nora tells Peter she’s the only witness to a crime he suggests she stop pursuing. He confesses his tragic past and parents’ deaths.
9. Once back, she revisits the cellar in search of clues (finds something red) and discovers a labyrinth as someone gives chase.
10. Peter confronts the EM after seeing him with the Other Woman who turns out to be the EM’s stepdaughter. The EM assures him he can make her go away since she isn’t blood related.
11. Nora watches the EM, Other Woman and Leo chummily talking from her window. Leo catches her watching. She tells Peter to use the murder card to force the EM to erase the situation.
12. Peter’s threat is cut short when the EM tells him he is his father and devised the scheme to gain control over and make him conform. Peter blurts out he has a witness to the crime, putting the EM’s ploy and Nora’s life at risk.
13. Nora and Peter decide to leave. As she packs, a killer waits in the shadows and a violent struggle ensues.
14. From a hotel window someone witnesses Nora’s struggle.
15. The ending where conforming Peter sits bedside in a hospital room, the EM with a hand on his shoulder, next to a bedridden bandaged woman. When Peter reaches for her hand, her red fingernail is missing.
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Carmen’s life-threatening sequence
What I have learned: not every danger has to be physical. It adds to the depth if someone stakes are emotional and psychological instead.
1. Laney is hired by Wyatt to help him gain access to the safe room of a mansion <div>2. Using the information gained by Laney and her sidekick One-Take Jake, Wyatt’s friend is murdered after sending Wyatt the drive he stole from the safe room </div><div>3. Payment links Laney and One-Take to Wyatt </div><div>4. Wyatt is scared for all of their lives and convinces them to go on the run with him </div><div>5. But He let his boss know he has the drive – information, rogue agent Turner gets hold of </div><div>6. One-Take creates a ruse to throw Turner off their scent, but Laney secretly contacts her agent because she has a second call-back for a small part </div><div>7. Using that, Turner tracks them down in a city and is ready to take Wyatt hostage (he needs to know where the drive is and what else Wyatt knows) </div><div>8. Laney and One-Take create a diversion, thus saving Wyatt </div><div>9. Wyatt is desperate to reach the one man he hopes can save them all by handing over the drive for unlocking it but Turner is already aware of that man and their destination</div><div>10. During a stop, Turner captures Wyatt, but because Laney and One-Take treat this like a movie, they’re constantly changing appearance and escape </div><div>11. One-Take, an ex-stunt woman, and Laney use e-scooters to chase Turner’s car. </div><div>12. When Turner stops outside a remote house, they pop the boot and save Wyatt </div><div>13. They’re done running and sit down to figure out what’s going on </div><div>14. They send an errand boy to deliver a parcel with laundry to a man at the next airport. That man doesn’t exist, but hidden among the laundry are two burner phones that ping off the tower, with text messages that should set off alarm bells </div><div>15. Turner and the boss, who’s been playing them all, intercept the messages.</div><div> 16. They’re proof that Wyatt and his helpers know too much and have to die </div><div>17. Everyone’s closing in on the home of the man who Wyatt wants to give the drive to. </div><div>18. The boss takes out Turner and watches Wyatt enter the house. </div><div>19. Laney and One-Take watch too. </div><div>20. The man pulls a gun on Wyatt, only to have Laney appear with a gun as well. </div><div>21. When the boss enters, Wyatt seems to be held at gun-point, but he hasn’t got the drive. </div><div>22. One-Take has it, and after extracting a confession from the boss and secretly destroying it, they destroy the drive. </div><div>23, The boss will have to resign, or the confession will be made public. </div><div>24. The boss panics. He’s promised the drive to the man, and some unsavoury people linked to him.</div><div>25. Laney hears from her agent that she lost her shot at the part.</div><div>26. Next day, Laney, One-Take, and Wyatt read in the news that the boss died in an “accident”.
They’re safe, have the money they’ve been paid, and could stage a play with it. Or they could continue working with Wyatt and create their best dramas with real life or death stakes. </div>-
This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by Carmen Radtke.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by
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Agnes’s Life Threatening Sequence
What I learned is that there are many aspects to consider for the Suspense sequence, depending on the thriller you are trying to write. Some work better than others. Some may be useful later in the actual writing of the full story. It will depend on how the entire story unfolds. Some parts may have to be changed or removed entirely. But in order to create the suspense many aspects need to be considered for this area of the writing.
Creating your Life Threatening Sequence
1. What is the Villain’s plan and how does that put the Hero in danger?
· The Villain has secrets he does not want anyone in town to know about.
· The Villain knows deep down that his daughter is not dead, just doing one of her disappearing acts, as he recognizes the signs just before she disappears.
· The Villain has purposely managed to put the unwanted son-in-law, John Roberts away and out of town for 20 years, but wonders when, and if his daughter will every show up.
· The Villain truly believes his daughter is fragile and may be missing long enough to keep John out of his life for a very long time.
· The Villain is able to keep his secret about his wife’s mental condition which he fears will affect his position in town, if people find out about her mental health condition.
· The Villain allows the charade of John’s being guilty of killing and disposing of his daughter’s body to continue for years.
· The Villain has managed to keep what happens in his home quiet for a very long time, keeping his reputation safe.
· The longer the Villain keeps John Roberts in jail, the more chances there are that John may eventually prove his innocence which could be a big problem for him.
· The Villain is counting on inmates to either kill John or frighten him into not talking about his daughter to anyone.
2. What other potential dangers could your Hero experience as they try to solve the mystery and confront the Villain?
· John Roberts is studying the law and building a good reputation inside the prison to get other prisoners’ successful appeals.
· The Villain fears that eventually there will be no way to stop a successful appeal for John.
· The Hero (John) is getting better and better as an inmate and model prisoner and could get an early release for good behaviour.
· John still has to find a way to prove his innocence that he had nothing to do with Helen’s disappearance.
· Some prisoners are not happy with John’s good behaviour and he is regularly fending off dangerous murderous criminals intent on doing him harm in prison.
· John has no idea about the Villain’s wife’s mental condition. It’s not something Helen every discussed with him.
· If he is released, where will he go?
· Can he return to his home town every again, and begin a new life without the disappearance of Helen hanging over his head forever?
· Can he find a way to redeem his reputation as a model citizen, despite his violent childhood experiences?
· Why does his father-in-law, Mike Deans, hate him so much that he has done this to him?
· Will the Hero want to seek revenge on the people that put him in jail wrongfully?
3. From the list of potential dangers, choose the ones that work for this story.
· Threats
· Physical danger
· Surveillance/watched
· Lured into a dangerous situation
· Closeness to the villain
· Trapped/Abducted/Arrested
· Danger to someone they know
· Presence of weapons or thugs
· The unknown
· Something that damages their reputation
· The threat that their own secret could be revealed
· Public humiliation
· Loss of a job or career
· A demand to stop pursuing the mystery
· Betrayal
· From someone close
· Someone operating covertly around them.
· Other parties who need to solve the mystery first.
4. The Life Threatening Sequence from those dangers, in order:
a) Helen faces a life threatening situation and as to what made her go missing.
b) No one can remember seeing her go missing from the picnic, least of all her own husband, who worked late at the bank.
c) Helen just vanished into thin air.
d) Mike Roberts felt guilty that their marriage was not working out after all the effort he had put into that relationship.
e) Mike Deans’ secret that he doesn’t want anyone to know about his family and home life.
f) How, if Mike Deans’ secret is revealed, can affect both his reputation and his career in the small town.
g) John is betrayed by his own father-in-law and accused of murder.
h) Helen is lured away by a strange hitchhiker and seems to not remember her own name.
i) Helen leaving with a stranger can put her life in danger.
j) Her disappearance puts John Roberts in jail for murder, and in danger.
k) John Roberts faces physical threats inside the penitentiary from thugs and other criminals.
l) Mike Deans’ knows that his daughter will resurface and then there will have to be explanations and possible consequences to face for having John wrongfully convicted.
m) Mike Deans works actively with the Chief of Police so that John is not released and the truth of the disappearance is never revealed as it would be bad for his reputation, so he fights every appeal John makes, but worries what he will do if, and when, Helen surfaces.
n) Mike is working hard to make John give up all his appeals and never be released to return to town.
o) Helen is writing letters every day in the asylum.
p) John Roberts has been betrayed by those closest to him.
q) The assistant nurse’s interest in figuring out what and to whom Helen is writing daily.
r) John hardly thinks of the reason he in jail now, only wants to be released and to get on with his life.
s) John has all but forgotten the unfortunate marriage to Helen.
t) If and when he is released, how he will face Mike Deans and the townspeople that had him convicted wrongfully.
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