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Lesson 16
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ASSIGNMENT 16.1
Bob Rowen’s Profound Map Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment is how nicely my working draft is coming together with this approach while revealing the need for adjustments in my storyline.
My Profound Map.
TITLE: IF WE CAN KEEP IT
WRITTEN BY: Bob Rowen
1. What is Your Profound Truth?
Teacher tenure plays a necessary role for truth to prevail in a democratic educational environment.
2. What is the Transformational Journey?
Old Ways: Idealistic. Passionate. Stubborn. Wade enters teaching with a naïve view of educational governance.
Journey: Don Walker and Madelynn continually provide strokes of realism as Wade wrestles with the problems posed by an autocratic school board president.
New Ways: Wade finally comes to terms with the realities of educational governance by utilizing the protections provided by teacher tenure.
Transformational Logline: A naïve Wade is forced to defend himself against unwarranted charges by the high school board of trustees only to be saved by the County Schools Office.
3. Who are Your Lead Characters?
Change Agent: Don Walker / Madelynn
Transformable Character: Wade Meadows
Oppression: Ken Franks, and the powerbrokers he represents
4. How Do You Connect (Wade) with Your Audience in the Beginning?
Relatability: A newbie on the job with challenging requirements and an uncertain future.
Intrigue: During the first three years of employment, he must produce a winning football program in order to keep his teaching position. Will he be able to do it?
Empathy: Family security is more important to his wife than taking risks. It makes no sense to Madelynn for Wade’s teaching job to rely on whether the football program is successful.
Likeability: Wade is a positive thinking fellow with a “can-do” attitude.
5. What is the Gradient of the Change?
EMOTIONAL GRADIENT: An idealistic, naïve, headstrong high school social science teacher must repetitively experience the realities of his educational system until he is forced to come to terms with the politics of it.
· EXCITEMENT: He is finally granted tenure and achieves the all-important job security.
· DOUBT: But he soon realizes tenure isn’t quite the godsend he thought it was when it comes to the politics of his educational environment.
· HOPE: With the support of the school’s principal, Wade feels he can freely teach without fear or favor in accordance with the school district’s century-old founding principles of “Truth, Toleration, and Liberty”, which becomes Wade’s classroom battle cry.
· DISCOURAGEMENT: But he learns the conservative school board members, led by the ultraconservative school board president, are not happy with his teaching and want him gone.
· COURAGE: Wade decides to continue his teaching and eventually finds it necessary to face the high school Board of Trustees in an open disciplinary hearing.
· TRIUMPH: The County Office of Education (not the high school district) names Wade “TEACHER OF THE YEAR” thereby enabling him to keep his job with the high school district.
ACTION GRADIENT:
SETUP
· During the school’s annual open house event, Wade befriends KURT REIMANN, a 98-year-old German immigrant, who is the great grandfather of one of Wade’s students.
· Wade and Kurt become very good friends who spend a lot of time together while Kurt shares his fascinating life story.
· Wade shares with Don what he’s learned from Kurt. It fills in a lot of the details from Wade’s university studies and he wants to share it with his students. Don agrees.
JOURNEY
· After Wade converses with Kurt, he seizes upon the opportunity for his students to hear directly from Kurt his concerns regarding the parallels of what happened in his country during Hitler-times to what’s happening now in America.
· Kurt focuses on how a fledgling democracy gave way to totalitarianism in Germany.
· The president of the school board, Ken Franks, hates what Wade has done in the past and is now doing in the classroom with what he considers as Wade’s radical left teaching. Franks charges Wade with violating his teacher’s Oath of Allegiance and recommends his termination.
PAYOFF
1. Wade decides to defend himself and demands an open hearing so he can put an example of his teaching methods and strategies on public display, which includes an introduction of Kurt Reimann. After Wade finishes his demonstration, the president of the school board calls it a charade and retires the school board into an executive session. A short time later, the school board announces in open session a 3-2 vote in favor of Wade’s termination. A large portion of the audience recoils!
CHALLENGE/WEAKNESS
Challenge: Wade gets to teach w/o tenure for first 3 years.
Weakness: Wade keeps his job only if he produces a winning football team.
Challenge: Wade is enthusiastically answering his calling to teach.
Weakness: Madelynn is more concerned about family security than Wade’s calling; however, she’s supportive of his dream.
Challenge: Wade advances his classroom motto of “Truth, Toleration, and Liberty” that becomes his battle cry.
Weakness: For political reasons, Wade skirts the handling of current affairs in his civics instruction.
Challenge: Wade is motivated to teach how fragile democracy is and how the Founding Fathers addressed the problem.
Weakness: The school board president initiates dismissal proceedings against Wade when he invites Kurt Reimann to his classes as a resource to explain what happened to Germany’s fragile democracy and why.
6. What is the Transformational Structure of Your Story?
Transformational Logline:
An idealistic, naïve, headstrong high school social science teacher must repetitively experience the realities of his educational system until he is forced to come to terms with the politics of it.
Mini-Movie Model (DRAFT):
MM #1 (Pages 1-15) WADE MEADOWS gets to teach only because he is willing and able to coach football. The school community wants a winning football program! Wade must turn around a losing football program within his first three years of teaching in order to keep his teaching position because he does not have tenure. Wade is successful in both the classroom and on the football field during this three-year probationary period.
First turning point: Wade is granted tenure at the beginning of his fourth year in the school district but resigns as football coach after his fourth season because he discovers a serious performance enhancing drug-use problem with the players.
MM #2 (Pages 15-30) Wade focuses on his teaching and encourages his students to get involved and become critical thinkers. His focus is on the rise of political parties, what led to the Populist Movement, the New Deal, and the Great Society in American history. Two student groups emerge: His third period students, the Young Republicans Club; and his sixth period students, who call themselves the Progressive Students Club. All seems well at first because an idealistic Wade believes that truth and compromise will ultimately prevail.
Second turning point: Wade is called into the principal’s office because some parents have complained about his teaching. The group of complaining parents turns out to be just one parent – the president of the school board whose daughter is in Wade’s third period class.
MM #3 (Pages 30-45) During a school’s open house event, Wade befriends KURT REIMANN, a 98-year-old German immigrant, who is the great grandfather of one of Wade’s students.
Third turning point: The students aren’t making the connection of past historical events with the current political scene. And there is a lot of resistance to Winston Churchill’s warning, “Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it”.
MM #4 (Pages 45-60) After Wade converses with Kurt, he seizes upon the opportunity for his students to hear directly from Kurt his concerns regarding the parallels of what happened in his country during Hitler-times to what’s happening now in America.
Fourth turning point: All hell breaks loose with the president of the school board!
MM #5 (Pages 60-75) Wade is confronted by TREVOR BLAKE, one of his sixth period students, who demands to know why Wade is not addressing current affairs head-on in class. Wade responds that there are problems with getting political in class but agrees current affairs is a necessary part of the civics curriculum. After meeting with his principal, Wade receives some suggestions and encouragement for dealing with the challenge.
Fifth turning point: Wade decides to take up the challenge.
MM #6 (Pages 75-90) Wade develops a current affairs approach that is completely student centered and the principal fully supports it.
Sixth turning point: The president of the school board, Ken Franks, hates what Wade has done in the past and is now doing in the classroom with what he considers as Wade’s radical left teaching. Franks charges Wade with violating his teacher’s Oath of Allegiance and recommends his termination.
MM #7 (Pages 90-105) Wade decides to defend himself and demands an open hearing so he can put an example of his teaching methods and strategies on public display. After Wade finishes his demonstration, the president of the school board calls it a charade and retires the school board into an executive session. A short time later, the school board announces in open session a 3-2 vote in favor of Wade’s termination. A large portion of the audience recoils!
Seventh turning point: A suspenseful state of affairs exists.
MM #8 (Pages 105-120) Members of the audience demand to speak one last time before the school board makes it final. The last member of the audience to speak, who happens to be the Superintendent of the County Schools Office, makes a surprise announcement that was supposed to be made public next week. His office has named Wade Meadows Teacher of the Year. Two members of the school board immediately demand they go back into executive session to reconsider its decision. After a very long period of time, the school board returns to public session and announces a reversal of its earlier decision.
Eighth turning point: There is a new teaching reality for Wade.
7. How are the Old Ways Challenged?
Challenge through Questioning:
Wade skirts the teaching of current affairs for political reasons. Trevor wants to know why? Whatever happened to “Truth, Toleration, and Liberty”?
Challenge by Counterexample:
The school board has banned books from the school library Wade needs for his curriculum. Wade creates a classroom library of the same book titles. The school board orders the removal of those books from Wade’s classroom. Wade makes arrangements with the County Library to have those same books available for his students.
Challenge by “Should Work, But Doesn’t”:
School board policy prevents students from organizing political groups on campus. Wade encourages his students to get involved and be politically active. They form the Young Republicans Club and the Progressive Students Club. The school board president has a hissy fit but his daughter helped organize the Young Republicans Club.
Challenge through Living Metaphor:
The students argue about the autocratic behavior of the current Administration and Wade invites Kurt Reimann to address their concerns through his life experiences.
8. How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?
Once Wade Meadows gains tenure and no longer serves at the pleasure of the school board, he pursues the teaching of truthful history in his classroom.
Wade Meadows declares education to be the fundamental purpose of schools, not Friday night football.
Wade Meadows introduces Kurt Reimann to his education community. Kurt shares his life experiences in Germany during Hitler-times and draws parallels to then in Germany and now in America.
Wade Meadows demands his disciplinary hearing be held in public for all to see.
Tenure is a good thing. The school counselor opted for more money as an administrator instead of joining the union thereby giving up tenure. He loses his job for strictly political reasons in spite of his outstanding job performance as a school counselor.
Students need to study history as it actually happened. Wade publicly confronts the president of the school board during his disciplinary hearing by presenting the “testimony” of Kurt Reimann.
The true business of schools is education, not Friday night football. Wade faces off with the president of the Boosters Club, who is also a school board member, at a school board meeting.
Courage is the backbone of doing the right thing. The ongoing struggle Wade Meadows has with Ken Franks, president of the school board and those powerbrokers who put Franks on the Board.
Truth ultimately prevails. The resolution of Wade’s dilemma follows Wade’s disciplinary hearing during a T.V. reporter’s interview of Wade.
9. What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
· Truth, Toleration, and Liberty.
· Courage is be backbone of doing the right thing.
· Students need to study history as it actually happened.
· The true business of schools is education, not Friday night football.
· Tenure is a good thing.
· I didn’t hire on to be Franks’ puppet.
10. How do You Leave Us with a Profound Ending?
Wade decides to defend himself and demands an open hearing so he can put an example of his teaching methods and strategies on public display. After Wade finishes his demonstration, the president of the school board calls it a charade and retires the school board into an executive session. A short time later, the school board announces in open session a 3-2 vote in favor of Wade’s termination. A large portion of the audience recoils!
A suspenseful state of affairs exists.
Members of the audience demand to speak one last time before the school board makes it final. The last member of the audience to speak, who happens to be the Superintendent of the County Schools Office, makes a surprise announcement that was supposed to be made public next week. His office has named Wade Meadows Teacher of the Year. Two members of the school board immediately demand they go back into executive session to reconsider its decision. After a very long period of time, the school board returns to public session and announces a reversal of its earlier decision.
As Wade and Madelynn enter the parking lot, a TV reporter interviews Wade. The interview ending…
TV REPORTER
It seems as though you have more to say…
WADE
Well, I do but I’ve got to be careful for obvious reasons. When I’m in the classroom, what I say and do must always be balanced and I make sure it is! Out here, let me just say we have a divided nation, a divided community, a divided student body, and I should add, a divided school board — and it’s all about the politics that’s currently sweeping the country.
TV REPORTER
One last question. As an educator, and I might add, as the Teacher of the Year, how do you explain the politics that’s currently sweeping the country?
WADE
In a few words? IGNORANCE, APATHY, TRIBALISM, RACISM, and GREED. Of course, there’s nothing new about any of this, but when coupled with Citizens United, a movement that made compromise a sign of weakness and the free press the enemy of the people, and constant lying to the American people acceptable, then we see the world’s greatest democracy seriously threatened. To paraphrase Benjamin Franklin, the Founding Fathers created for us a winning form of government if we can keep it! So, therefore we have the need to engage our students in real education based on “Truth, Toleration, and Liberty”.
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Susan Willard’s Profound Map Version 1
What I learned by doing this assignment is by building all three gradients of change the audience is receiving the same message in several different ways so that the message clearer.
Title: Where’s Oscar
Written by: Susan A. Willard
1.
What is the Profound Truth?– Evil exists. Evil makes mistakes. Evil is defeatable.
– Take life’s challenges ‘one step at a time’.
2. What is the Transformational Journey?
Old Ways:
• Grandpa and Grandson enjoy summer-time recreation activities together.
• Son dedicated to work above all else.
• Grandson, with new prosthetics and a school project to do, needs help.
Old Ways: Walter:
• Independent to a fault.
• Set in ways. Self-Desires.
• Earned Time-off from responsibilities / work.
• Make Life what I want it to be.
• Prefers not to make waves.
• Everything Scheduled.
• Respect Authority and Professionals
• Don’t rock the boat.
Old Ways: Landon:
• Dependent on others.
• Excited about summer with grandpa.
• Summer project to do. Nervous.
• Want dad to be a part of summer with grandpa. Disappointed.
• Longs to be free to do things and make decisions his way.
• Anxious. A bit frustrated.
Old Ways: Ethan:
• Feels full responsibility for grandpa and his son.
• He bears full financial burden.
• Longs for rest time, help, a stable family, and social life.
Transformational Journey:
Walter’s Journey:
Every day, Walter enjoys a scheduled breakfast / card game, at a favorite café. Today his scheduled events are interrupted by early arrival of his grandson for a fun summer together, (complete with an unplanned summer school project to do, and new prosthetics to learn), his friend Oscar missing, his son leaves abruptly on a business trip, and the café being attacked by deranged neighborhood people. He must stay strong, decide how to orderly fix the chaos.
Landon’s Journey:
Landon is living a life of dependence on others. His new prosthetics are his last hope. His summer with Dad and Grandpa is a welcome relief from surgeries and school. He is looking forward to working on the summer school project with his dad and grandpa. As he is dropped off at a café to find grandpa is missing a friend, dad is leaving for business, weird people are attacking the neighborhood. He has no idea what is going on, how to use his new prosthetics or what to do for his summer project. Landon must find a way to deal with his world as it falls apart.
Ethan’s Journey:
Drops his son off with his father during a chaotic uprising of strange acting strangers. He had planned to stay the summer with his family but was called to a business trip at the last minute. Knowing that his dad’s friend is missing, and his son is nervous with new prosthetics and needs summer homework help, Ethan is compelled to support the family financially first. Will he live to regret the decision? He hopes not.
New Ways:
New Ways: Walter:
• Discovers he doesn’t have to have all the answers.
• Getting help from others can be helpful.
• Learns that new ways of doing things are fun / necessary.
• Relaxation time off is not as rewarding as working with family and friends.
• Sometimes you must take life as-it-is. Mold life to take care of family and friends.
• Even in retirement making waves, disrupting what’s happening can be necessary.
• You can’t schedule life.
• Professionals might not deserve respect.
• Where evil exists. Rock the boat and get rid of evil.
New Ways: Landon:
• Independent with new amputations and prosthetics.
• Excited. Planning a fun and loving summer with grandpa.
• Anticipating starting, finishing, and sharing his summer project.
• Happy looking forward to a summer with Dad and Grandpa.
• Has the confidence and freedom to live his life and make his decisions.
New Ways: Ethan:
• Changes his life to live a full, fun, and successful life with his family.
• He’s getting married. Going to have a full social life.
• He works for job enjoyment, rather than for the most dollars.
• Set your priorities of family, friends and good health, and a great life will follow.
Transformational Logline: A slow-moving grandpa, with his disabled grandson, must confront their disabilities, fear, and life-threatening situations, to find their missing homeless friend.
Taglines: (suggestions)
• Evil exists. It’s personal. It’s after you!
• A Dangerous Deranged Day of Discovery, Disappointments, and Developments.
3. Who are the Lead Characters?
Change Agent(s):
• Missing Friend(s),
• Grandson Landon,
• Grandpa Walter,
• Medical Outbreak causing Society Unrest.
Transformable Character(s):
• Grandpa Walter,
• Grandson Landon,
• Son Ethan.
Oppression:
• Missing or Misbehaving Friends,
• Enclosed / Locked Clinic Backrooms,
• Confusing Medical Personnel.
4. How Is The Audience Connect with the Characters at the Beginning of the
MovieA. Relatability:
• An ordinary family, dealing with ordinary problems.
• Unexpected situations that affect them personally.
• Walter and Jack are having breakfast and playing cards.
• Landon, an amputee, has new prosthetics. They are uncomfortable.
• Landon’s dad brings him to his grandpa’s house and abruptly leaves for a business trip. The entire situation makes Landon uncomfortable, worried, and insecure.
• Many families can relate to weird summer schedules, and unexpected problems.
B. Intrigue:
• A homeless friend has gone missing. Where is he?
• Neighborhood people are acting strangely and causing dangerous situations. Why?
• Clinic personnel are being vague and illusive. Why?
• Will Landon’s prosthetics work right?
• Will Landon’s summer project get done?
• Is Ethan leaving for another reason?
C. Empathy:
• Walter’s day/summer has been totally disrupted with uncontrollable problems.
• Ethan’s need to support his family has blinded him to the reality of the moment.
• Landon feels lost and helpless in a whirl-wind day of increasing problems.
D. Likability:
• Walter, Ethan, and Landon respect, love, and care for each other even through rough situations.
• Walter and Jack care for their homeless, missing friend enough to search for him.
• Ethan is leaving his family for their financial security. He’d rather stay. Many people can relate.
• Landon (a 14-year-old) loves his family, even when they aren’t perfect. He tries to help whenever he can.
5. What is the Gradient of Change used?
EMOTIONAL GRADIENT: Forced Change.
• Walter is forced to help find his missing friend.
• Ethan is forced to go on a last-minute business trip.
• Landon is forced to go on Walter’s journey with him.
The Audience goes through these change stages with the family:
Denial:
• Walter: Walter takes no action. “Oscar will return. He has been late before.”
• Ethan: Ethan announces his intentions. “I won’t miss anything. I will be back before you know it.”
• Landon: Landon shuts down. “Grandpa, go do what you have to do, I’ll just sit right here.”
Anger:
• Walter: Walter pushes back in anger. “Why do you always leave me in a bind? How am I supposed to deal with everything?”
• Ethan: Ethan Leaves. “I’m going. I will help if he’s still missing when I get back.”
• Landon: Landon strikes out in anger. “I don’t exist. I’ll sit here. Go ahead, take care of Oscar and Jack. You and dad don’t understand.”
Bargaining:
• Walter: “If you help me find Oscar, then I’ll help you with your school project.”
• Landon: “If you lead the way, I can help find clues.”
• Walter: “Here, paper doesn’t refuse ink. Use these to document our clues.”
• Landon: “So old time, phones don’t refuse information. I’ll use my phone.”
• Walter: “Deal.” Landon: “Deal.”
Depression:
• Walter: “Oscar will return. He has been late before. It’s not too late for him to come back. Is it?”
• Landon: “I don’t know, Grandpa. Do what you must do, I’ll just sit right here. Nothing makes sense.”
Acceptance:
• Walter: Realizes when he is with his family, life is at its fullest. He pulls the pieces of his life together because he sees he can’t control the lives and activities of others.
• Ethan: Regrets leaving his family while they were in vital trouble. Family means more to him than money. Ethan also proposes to his sweetheart. Dr. Kathy, who has been waiting to get engaged for a long time.
• Landon: Relieved the ordeal is over, Landon is still processing his newfound discoveries, disappointments, and developments. Running to see his dad, Landon yells (cries), “Dad, Dad, I’m so glad to see you. Can grandpa live with us? I can fix my prosthetics all by myself. I saved grandpa, from being killed, using my prosthetic foot. Did you get all my texts? Our pictures and videos are on the TV news. You want to know what my summer project is? What did you do today? He has already started his new life’s adventures.
ACTION GRADIENT
SETUP
• Jack goes looking for their missing friend.
• Walter, waiting for his family to arrive, tries to find out information about his missing friend.
• Ethan leaves on a business trip as soon as he drops off his son, Landon.
• Landon, being overwhelmed and confused, sits, and waits.
JOURNEY
• Walter and Landon discuss their situation and decide to work together.
• The Janitor indicates that Oscar could be in testing behind the door behind the desk.
• Once through the door, they are locked in the backrooms unable to leave.
• They plan their investigative attack of the area and start to explore.
• They find clues, evidence, take pictures and videos.
• With each area of investigation, the risks get greater, and the evidence gets more disturbing.
• They get caught, get away twice, but not without damage.
• Ultimate evil is found, cementing their big decision to get away.
PAYOFF
• Walter and Landon trick evil forces, get captured, but get away.
• Utilizing their tricks, they delay the bad guys, make a second get-away only to be caught and handcuffed with the bad guys.
• They expose the bad guys with evidence, and they are set free.
• Nurse Kathy is a double agent, who was in communication with Ethan, who shared their text messages. They track Walter and Landon’s evidence.
• Walter is ready to give up his community and live with his family.
• Landon knows what he wants to do for a summer project. He overcomes all problems with using his prosthetics. He is happy to see his dad.
• Ethan is home. Is ready to change jobs and settle down with his family.
CHALLENGE/WEAKNESS GRADIENT:
Challenge Walter: To find his friend who is missing, or information to lead him to his friend.
Weakness Walter: Impulsive, Lying, and Frustrated
Challenge Landon: To find out how grandpa’s missing friend will affect his visit over the summer with grandpa.
Weakness Landon: Self-centric and concerned for his summer vacation.
Challenge Walter: To think clearly and find ways to help his friend or to find him.
Weakness Walter: Impatient, Persistently Aggressive.
Challenge Landon: To find a way to show everyone he is a valuable help in this situation.
Weakness Landon: Being invisible and helpless.
Challenge Walter: To find help in pursuing his lost friend.
Weakness Walter: Desperate, Unprepared for the crisis, unorganized, and not listening.
Challenge Landon: To listen, to learn, to find clues, to apply his critical thinking skills.
Weakness Landon: Stubborn, does not like conflict, and strong willed.
Challenge Walter: To reevaluate the situation for ways to complete the journey.
Weakness Walter: Fear and Strong-willed
Challenge Landon: To produce ways that the two can work together to solve the mystery.
Weakness Landon: Fear, Lack of Confidence, Uncertainty
Challenge Walter: To work with and trust his grandson to help him with his investigation.
Weakness Walter: Lack of Confidence in himself, his grandson, and their working together.
Challenge Landon: To forget about himself, and to focus on getting grandpa and finding his friend.
Weakness Landon: Overwhelmed and guarded.
Challenge Walter: To accept the current outcome and find a way to leave and get help.
Weakness Walter: To be more involved in the reality around them. Participate in community.
Challenge Landon: To collaborate agreeing with grandpa so the quest can end.
Weakness Landon: To think of others first, be more understanding to his family and community.
6. What is the Transformational Structure of the Story?
MINI-MOVIE MODEL (DRAFT 1)
Transformational Logline:
A slow-moving grandpa, with his disabled grandson, must confront their disabilities, fear, and life-threatening situations, to find their missing homeless friend.
Taglines: (suggestions)
• Evil exists. It’s personal. It’s after you!
• A Dangerous Deranged Day of Discovery, Disappointments, and Developments.
Where’s Oscar is a family mystery designed in the Mini-Movie (MM) Structure, emphasizing family interactions between three generations, giving a wide range of acting between lead characters.
A day in the life of the Freeman family is a classic story of unconventional heroes, a grandpa, a retired mechanic, with his grandson, a 14-year-old double amputee. Both desire the safe, controlled activities of the summer. But get, thrust into chaos by a deranged mob, one – no, two missing friends, new prosthetics, unlocked – locked doors, and evil, they must work together to survive and warn the rest of the community.
MM PART 1 (PAGES 1-15) – A Quiet Breakfast – A Missing Person
Grandpa Walter is enjoying breakfast, at their favorite café – The Clinic’s Sit and Sip, with his friend Jack. They are waiting for their homeless friend Oscar, who is late. Jack, Oscar, and Walter have breakfast together and play cards every day.
The TV plays news in the background. Jack is fixed on a story about a mob of presumed homeless people in the area. It’s almost too late to play cards because Walter’s son and grandson are coming over for a summer visit.
Oscar has a doctor’s appointment at the clinic, so they wait to see the results. But Oscar doesn’t show. They begin to worry about Walter. Neither friend saw Oscar at all today.
Jack watches the news about the crazy mob in the village.
Outbreaks of mob violence start occurring around the Medical Clinic and its café. The Clinic says Oscar never showed. Jack and Walter argue about what to do about Oscar. Walter gets a phone call. His family is wondering where he is. Walter will wait for them at the café in case Oscar comes by. Jack goes to look for Oscar at his hiding places.
Walter begins his search to find Oscar. He talks to the clinic desk, the clinic nurse, the clinic doctor, the clinic patients waiting in the waiting room. He even talks to the clinic janitor. He is getting frustrated and upset. The retirement community is so small that someone he talked to should know where Oscar is. Walter is asked to leave the clinic, so he goes back into the café to find Ethan and Landon arriving. Ethan is upset and leaves on a business trip. Landon stays with his grandpa.
FIRST TURNING POINT
Grandpa Walter decides to lie and make an appointment to find out Oscar’s clinic visit.
MM PART 2 (PAGES 15-30) – Conflicting Information – Investigation needed.
One Step At A Time.
Grandpa has an appointment at the clinic. Dr. Robertson, and Nurse Kathy are not helpful. He failed to get any clue to Oscar’s whereabouts. Landon’s prosthetics cause problems. Walter and Landon wonder where Jack is. Landon tells about asking people outside and in the waiting room about Oscar. There’s an update on TV News about the mob activity. Things are thrown at the clinic and café. People are worried.
The Janitor comes by doing cleaning rounds. They discuss Oscar. “Maybe Oscar’s getting tests run. The janitor suggests Oscar is in for testing in the back, pointing to a door behind the check-in, Labeled “No Admittance. Authorization Needed. Restricted Area”. Landon takes a picture of the door.
SECOND TURNING POINT
Grandpa talks Landon into going through an off-limits door so they can find Oscar.
MM PART 3 (PAGES 30-45) – Unexpected Dilemma – Revised Objectives.
Phones Don’t Refuse Pictures.
Once inside the back hallway, the door closes, they step inside the hallway. The door closes locked behind them. They jump and try the door. Locked in. Quickly their plan is updated. Go through each area until they find Oscar. Simple.
The first door says, “Medical Center”. They enter. The room is divided into three areas: Medicines Testing, Experimental Kitchen, and Surgery Implants. Each area looks like a mini lab. They break up duties. Landon will take pictures and Walter will look for “loose clues” he can pick up for evidence of anything suspect. Everything looks like a research lab, with stainless steel and glass everywhere. They investigate all areas. Landon asks if doctors are evil. He then sends the pictures to his dad, by text with no comment. He doesn’t tell Walter.
Each gathers their evidence. They lose track of time. Someone is coming through the door. They must hide. Someone they don’t know, in a white lab jacket, comes into the room. They are hiding. The lab coat man starts working. Landon’s prosthetic burps. He is found. A fight ensues. Walter saves Landon. They tie his hands and feet, put a gag in his mouth. They pushed him into the chemical storage room, locked, and blocked the door. It’s time to move.
THIRD TURNING POINT
Room two is hard to get to, people are running in the hallway, some mob people are at the back door. They make a run for it and get into the room labeled, “Monitoring – Technology Center”.
MM PART 4 (PAGES 45-60) – A Quicker, More Efficient Plan is Enacted.
Phones Don’t refuse Videos.
Monitors everywhere, with live surveillance feeds. No wall is without a monitor. It’s overwhelming. No one is in the room. They decide to take videos, otherwise they don’t know what to do. Walter looks for papers or taped evidence. He finds some of both, while Landon films all the monitors. Landon realizes that one set of monitors shows a live shot of Walter’s home. Landon asks, “Is your home safe, grandpa?” “No.” Landon sends a video or two to his dad, without telling Walter.
Landon must go to the restroom. Walter keeps working to collect anything that could be important, finding monitoring schedules, activities schedules and pictures. He wonders what’s keeping Landon. The door rattles, Walter hides. The man in casual dress comes in and sits behind a desk. Soon, Landon flushes the toilet and washes his hands. The man slowing gets up and says who’s there walking to the door. Walter stands, and yells to Landon a warning. Then man turns to Walter with an implement ready to hit him in the head. Then falls to the floor. Landon saved Walter. Landon’s phone rings. Walter says, “Don’t answer it now. Put your phone on silent too. Here put my phone on silent too.” After Landon puts on his prosthetic back on, they tap his feet together, his hands together and his mouth and lock him in the bathroom. It’s time to keep moving.
FOURTH TURNING POINT
Room three is labeled, “Dementia – Stagging”. When Walter and Landon walk through the door, they are standing in a hallway, with two doors: 1. Dementia, 2. Stagging. As they stand in the hall, the door opens. They hide behind the open door, slide into the storage area. The people go to the Stagging door and enter. Walter and Landon take the opportunity to go into the Dementia Room.
MM PART 5 (PAGES 60-75) – Overwhelming Stakes – Reality Hits Home.
Evil is personal.
The Dementia Room is like a one-room hospital ward. People are in beds, not moving. It smells like a hospital. Landon starts videoing and taking pictures. Walter begins looking at the people in the beds. There are 40 beds crammed into the room, with medical equipment and low lighting. All the patients are still and barely breathing.
Landon notices that Walter has stopped moving. He is bent over a bed. He is crying.
It’s Oscar. Landon runs to the bedside taking video. Then they hear voices coming from the corner vents. Walter motions and they over to hear better. Landon starts recording. It’s a person identifying a dead person. Lots of crying. Dr. Richardson is attending with some clinic attendants. Landon sends the audio to his dad and doesn’t tell Walter. Walter’s phone vibrates, but he ignores it. Landon’s phone rings, but he ignores it.
They go back to Oscar. They try to wake him up. They can’t do more because the equipment may alert the medical crew. Walter steals Oscar’s medical records. They hear the people leaving the stagging room. Then the lights go out. It’s 6 pm. The clinic must be closed. They need to find a way to get out.
FIFTH TURNING POINT
The Stagging door is left open, so they can see what the identification was about. It is a staging area for dead people. The room is dark. The room smells like a hospital. Do they dare go in? They do.
MM PART 6 (PAGES 75-90) – No Stopping Now – Determined to Finish.
Evil is deadly.
Landon starts taking videos. Walter walks in the light of Landon’s phone.
Walter finds the listing of the names of the people in the room. Before he puts the list into Landon’s backpack, he starts reading the list. He stops and shows one name to Landon, as he waves to the bodies. Landon shakes his head ‘no’. Walter get his phone out and starts looking at each body. Landon’s phone vibrates, he doesn’t answer.
Landon steps back to the door, ready to go. Walter asks for his phone. He finds who he is looking for. It’s Jack. Jack’s dead. He videos Jack’s dead body, takes the information packet for Jack. Walter and Jack start to leave. Walter’s phone rings but he doesn’t answer.
SIXTH TURNING POINT
On their way out, they get cornered by Dr. Richardson and his attendant. Fortunately, all the evidence was hidden in Landon’s backpack. They are pushed back inside the staging room. Dr. Richardson turns on the lights.
MM PART 7 (PAGES 90-105) – Crisis and Climax – Danger too Close.
Anything Can Happen.
Dr. Richardson is not the nice doctor he pretended to be earlier in the day. He was upset and kept asking them questions about what they were doing in his clinic rooms. Neither Landon nor Walter said a word. After it was clear he was not going to get answers. He was about to decide how to get rid of them when an attendant came running in saying they had a very large problem, and two other people were missing.
Dr. Richardson told Walter and Landon to stand back, he closed and locked the door, leaving them locked inside the staging room with the dead people. Walter and Landon decided not to give up. They began to look around the room for any way out. Walter needed to go to the restroom, so he did, only the door he opened went to the Dementia Room. They planned their escape. They waited until the main hallway got quiet then they started for the Exit door.
SEVENTH TURNING POINT
Landon dropped a cracker package in front of the exit door and opened the exit door to a jar. Then they opened and entered the storage room door. Hearing the commotion, the Dr. and attendant ran out of another room. Seeing the cracker package and the exit door a jar. They take the trap, leaving by the exit door.
MM PART 8 (PAGES 105-120) – A New Status Quo – New Vision for Living.
Evil is defeated.
Walter and Landon find a window at the far corner, farthest away from the hallway exit door, on the far wall. Using phones for lights they build a way to climb up to the window. Landon fixes his prosthetics while grandpa sits for a minute to rest. Landon takes pictures and videos. They hear noises from outside and decide to stay put for a few minutes. They try texting Ethan, but Nothing.
The boxes are too enticing. They start looking through the boxes until they hear loud noises in the hallway and exit coming their way. They climb out the window. Officers are waiting for them. They were handcuffed and led to a car. Walter hears a familiar voice. He sees Nurse Kathy in a blue uniform with a badge. “Hey, Nurse Kathy, it’s me Walter” he yells. After some communication, she frees their hands, and asks them to go with her.
They went to the café in front of the clinic building and sat at the table Walter started the day at. They identify all the bad guys. Ethan comes running into the café from the parking lot. Everyone is glad to see each other. Ethan and Kathy sit down with Walter and Landon. They debrief each other, as a few mob stragglers work their way into the café, Agent (Dr. Kathy) and other officers take hold of the stragglers before they can hurt anyone or destroy any more property. Kathy explains how she has discovered how to reverse the poisons given to the unfortunate victims. Most recover fully. Walter asks about Oscar; about the time he (and others) are being wheeled out to ambulances outside. Kathy said he should be fine in a few days. They briefly talk to Oscar. He is pushed to an ambulance, to go recover at the hospital.
Once the action settles. The audience finds out that Landon’s tests to his dad went to Nurse Kathy – as a friend, not knowing that she was undercover. She alerted the rest of the force that two undercover agents were inside, then they waited. Landon told them about the guy in the monitoring room. Walter told them about the guy in the Medical Center.
Ethan asks Dr. Kathy to marry him he has waited too long. She says Yes. Walter asks to take him up on the move in opportunity. Ethan and Landon say yes. Landon tells all about fixing his prosthetics, saving grandpa. He want to be a research investigator as his summer school project. Kathy says she would love to have him help her with the clinic project since he has all the evidence. Everyone is so glad the ordeal is over.
EIGHTH TURNING POINT
Walter at the café table with family (including Dr. Kathy). TV playing the Breaking News of footage / pictures from undercover agents, and the arrest of the bad guys. Walter slowly pulls out his cards, shuffles, while asking, “Anyone for cards?” (Everyone laughs / starts to relax a bit, talking to each other.)
7. How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?
A. Challenge through Questioning:
Grandpa Walter taught his family to respect professional people, and to always follow the rules. Walter leads his grandson, Landon to an off-limits door. When Landon questions his decision, Walter knows he will have to answer for his actions.
WALTER
Come on, Landon.
(Walking toward the door labeled: ‘No Admittance without Permission’)
LANDON
But, Grandpa, we don’t have permission.
Do we?
WALTER
We must find Oscar. If anyone asks,
You can tell them – your grandpa gave you permission.
We can talk about it later. Ok?
LANDON
Let’s have ‘the conversation’ with dad there.
He won’t believe this!
(Walter gently laughs under his breath.
Landon with eyebrow scrunched, shakes his
head as he follows grandpa through the door.)
Walter and Landon enter the room labeled, “Monitoring and Technology – No Entry without Permission”. Stunned they stare at wall to wall monitoring of the retirement village, even inside the business and homes.
LANDON
Grandpa.
WALTER
I see it.
LANDON
This is evil. Are doctors evil, grandpa?
WALTER
I don’t know.
LANDON
Is your house safe?
WALTER
No. It doesn’t look like it.
LANDON
Grandpa, I don’t want to go back to your house.
WALTER
Me either.
(Short pause, quiet sounds of TV News from one monitor)
WALTER
We won’t go back to the house. I promise.
Let’s get to work and get out of here.
B.
Challenge by Counterexample:·
Handing paper and pen to Landon, he says,
“Paper doesn’t refuse ink. Here use my paper and pen.”Landon,
pulling his phone out of his backpack, saying, “Phones don’t refuse texts,
calls, pictures, and videos. I’ll use my phone, it’s better. Thanks anyway.”·
Walter, clearing his throat while staring
directly in her eyes, “Nurse Nancy, I need your help – Now!”Nurse
Nancy, straightening in her chair, smiling, and looking Walter directly in the
eyes, says, “Due to HIPPA laws, I am unable to discuss anything about Oscar
without his permission. But perhaps I can help you at a more appropriate time,
when I am
able to help you.”·
Walter, shuffling cards, says to Jack, “Don’t
worry, Oscar will be along any minute.”Jack,
taking the cards away from Walter, “Where is Oscar? He didn’t show up for his
clinic appointment. He isn’t at any of his ‘places’. Walter, if you were in
Oscar’s shoes – Where would you be?”Walter,
taking the cards back, says, “I have no idea.”Jack,
as he gets up to search for Oscar, says, “That’s the point Walter, That’s the
point.” Jack leaves. More Rampaging Community Members report on the Café TV.C.
Challenge by “Should Work, But Doesn’t”:Walter:
Should Work: Waits for Oscar to come by
the clinic.Doesn’t Work: Oscar never shows.
Should Work: Asks everyone he can, even
Dr., Nurse, Janitor where is Oscar?Doesn’t Work: No one knows.
Should Work: Offers paper and pen to Landon.
Doesn’t Work: Phone is better.
LANDON:
Should Work: Always asks for help in
fixing prosthetics.Doesn’t Work: Grandpa doesn’t help.
Landon must do it himself.Should Work: Shaking, moving, putting a
cool, wet rag on Oscar’s face to roust him awake, and to move.Doesn’t Work: Nothing he, or Walter,
does wakes or gets a response from Oscar.ETHAN:
Should Work: Always just drops off
Landon with his grandpa when a business trip is required.Doesn’t Work: Amid social chaos,
missing Oscar, and Landon learning his prosthetics, while needing help with his
summer project, it was the wrong action to take.D.
Challenge through Living
Metaphor· The TV news reports = Prophetic vision of actions at the café.
· The Open Door, labeled “No Entry without Permission =
Future vision: rules broken to get to the truth.
· The Monitoring Room is a metaphor to the Evil has full access to the entire village, without their knowledge and permission.
· The deranged mob creating chaos is a metaphor to what will happen to
All the people of the retirement village if the evil is not stopped.
8. How are Insights Presented through Profound Moments?
A. Action Delivers Insight
· Action Idea: Break into an off-limits area of a facility to find a missing person.
o Insight: Rules may be made to be broken. Family and Friends first.
o Action: Break into an off-limits area of a facility to find a missing person.
· Action: Protect grandson from being kidnapped.
o Insight: Family first.
· Action: Care for a family member in need of help in a secluded dangerous situation.
o Insight: Family first.
· Action: Explore dangerous places, without being caught, while securing evidence of activities found.
o Insight: Drastic situations need drastic actions.
· 5)Action: Plan and implement a series of resistance, deviation, escape the antagonist(s).
o New Way: Drastic situations need drastic actions.
B.
Conflict Delivers InsightConflict: A loss of a person due to physical, medical, or mental harm.
Insight: Evil, Evil doctors exist, harm, and kill people. Evil is personal.
Conflict: Physical challenges, in times of trouble.
Insight: Everyone can live independently, taking care of themselves.
Conflict: Physical challenges, to help, or save others from trouble.
Insight: Step up to the physical challenge, even with a physical impediment.
C.
Irony Delivers InsightIrony: Janitor says Oscar is behind the off-limits door, (it’s a trap).
Insight: Janitor doing the right things for the wrong reasons.
Irony: Walter (with Landon) goes through the off-limits door, to find Oscar.
Insight: Walter doing wrong things, for the right reasons.
Irony: Father drops off his son, pursuing financial gain, instead of helping his family.
Insight: Going for wants and missing needs.
Irony: Father gets in touch with help, then does his best to arrive to help also.
Insight: Going after needs and losing wants.
9. What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
At the Height of Emotion
· “Coming your way – One Big Step of Evil Truth.”
– Panic – Grandpa yells at the height of the emotion.
· “We must do more than find the truth before we stop the “Any Things” from happening. The next ‘One Steps’ are gonna be tough.”
– Shock and Depression – Oscar and the truth have been found, and neither are in good shape.
· Grandpa says, “Aha, Evil is vulnerable.” Grandson says, “And… Evil makes mistakes!” Son says, “Now…Evil is stopped.”
– Acceptance, Relief, and Exceedingly Happy: They found Oscar, the evil truth and Evil will be stopped.
· Walter says, “Anything can happen.”
– Overwhelmed / in Denial of what he is going through.
The Three Lines To Build Meaning Over Multiple Experiences:
A. Line 1: “One Step at a Time”:
• “One step at a time.” (Putting on new prosthetics)
• “One step at a time. Start with the small first step and go to the next small step, until you’re done.” (Solving the mystery of missing Oscar)
• “How do you get rid of the bad guys, ‘One foot at a time.’”(Landon to Walter after he saved Walter from a bad guy, using his prosthetic foot.)
B. Line 2: “Evil Exists…”:
• “Evil exists.” Stated when they realized the evil exists in the clinic.
• “Evil is personal.” Stated when they find Oscar unresponsive in bed.
• “Evil is deadly.” Stated when Jack is found dead.
• “Evil is persistent.” Stated when an evil person pursues them, to kill them.
• “Evil is vulnerable.” Stated when evil shows a weakness.
• “Evil is defeated.” Stated when evil is stopped.
B. Line 3: Phones don’t reject information (texts, calls, pictures, and videos):
• “Paper doesn’t refuse ink.” Grandpa wants to collect information about what they find.
• “Phones don’t refuse information.” When they decided to collect all the information and clues. Else no one would believe them.
• “Take pictures of everything thing, especially the doors. After all phones don’t refuse pictures.” When they first realized how important how important the pictures would be.
• “Phones don’t refuse videos, grandpa. What do you suppose I take some videos too?” When they didn’t have time to take pictures.
• “Phones don’t refuse texts. Use it to contact your dad. “Walter realized they need help.
10. How do you Leave the Audience with A Profound Ending?
Where’s Oscar has a satisfying ending, weaving, the audience, through emotions, twists, and surprises.
Expresses Profound Truths:
· “Families and friends always stick together.”
· “Evil is vulnerable.”, Evil makes mistakes. Evil is stopped.”
· “Tackle life one step at a time.”
· The Change(s):
• Walter: (Grandpa) Walter puts family and friends first, will be vulnerable, honest, take help as needed. Walter will always pursue the truth in life. Surprises in life are dangerous.
• Landon: (Grandson) Landon found his confidence, independence, and his life’s purpose to help people to do the same.
• Ethan: (Son) He changes jobs to be home with his family, so his dad can live with him, and to marry his sweetheart.
· Payoffs: Answers to:
• Where is Oscar?
• Why did Oscar miss his Clinic appointment?
• Will Ethan come back and help?
• Will Landon learn to use his prosthetics? Without help?
• Why is the Clinic hiding things?
• What is behind the off-limits door?
• Where is Jack? Will he come back?
• Why are the retirement village homeless and residents uprising?
• Will Nurse Kathy ever help Walter?
• Will Landon find something to do for his summer school project?
· Surprising:
• Walter and Landon are handcuffed upon escaping from the evil people.
• Nurse Kathy is also Dr. Kathy in Undercover Criminal Task Force, (UCTF).
• Ethan has proposed to Dr. Kathy. She has accepted.
• Walter wants to move in with Ethan, Kathy, and Landon.
• Walter and Landon’s evidence cracked the Crime Clinic Case for the (UCTF).
• Walter and Landon won’t get public credit for solving the case.
• Landon can help the (UCTF) and make is a summer school project.
· Parting Image/Line:
• Beginning Mirror Image: Walter at café table with family.
• TV playing the Breaking News of footage / pictures from undercover agents, and the arrest of the bad guys.
• Walter slowly pulls out his cards, shuffles, while asking, “Anyone for cards?” (Everyone laughs / starts to play cards)
-
Subject line: Bill Southwell’s Profound Map Version 1
What I learned doing this assignment is: I was able to put together a new outline of the script employing the features of this course on Profound Screenwriting. A vast improvement.
TITLE: Charis
WRITTEN BY: Bill SouthwellWhat is Your Profound Truth?
Profound Truth is that deep love between a husband and wife can be so great that it can extend beyond death. That we can be inspired by departed loved ones to achieve greatness in this life. And that dedication to great causes outside of one’s self brings the greatest personal achievement.
What is the Transformational
Journey?Charis begins full of ambition to become a renowned poet and achieve accolades for advancing feminist causes. She is stricken with a life-threatening disease and reevaluates her goals. She discovers her greatest achievements come from dedicating her talents to enhance the lives of others.
3. Old Ways:
She thinks she is happy in being in control and furthermore championing the feminist causes.
Journey:
Faced with a possible short life, Charis strives to become a great writer. Setbacks by health she repeatably recovers and advances. She meets Bill and learns that devotion to him is a bigger cause; but still struggles with Death. She finally achieves greatness as a writer and character victory.
New Ways: : She achieves humility and empathy and learns happiness by truly loving her husband. Her writing skills improve
Transformational Logline: Starting from being young, pretty, and popular with boys, and having ability to manipulate people, Charis’ outlook changes to look for potential in people. She marries Bill who loves her and devotes herself to his success as a physicist.As this change occurs, she finds success as a writer.
1. Transformable Character with an issue…: Charis is transformed with a life longevity issue hanging over her.
2. …takes a journey that challenges them deeply…: Charis is challenged with kidney disease from Lupus, is rejected from adopting a baby, and discouragement
3. ..and concludes with the transformation. Charis finds love adopts a baby through private adoption, and writes great poetry, and finally is accepted for dialysis,.Who are Your Lead Characters?
Charis and Bill
Change Agent (the one causing the change):Bill is the Change Agent for
Charis
Transformable Character(s) (the one who makes the change):Bill also is
transformed with Charis being the change agent for him.
Betraying Character (if you have one): none
Oppression: a) health b) lack of love c) Unable to have a baby rejected
for adoption d) Death who always visitsA. How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie? A. Relatability – They Are Us!
B. Intrigue: Opening Scene Titles: Camera is close up on hands painting a spool character. We see hands with a small paint brush painting on a tight mustache. The camera pans to show other painted spools including a Mom, a little girl, and a dog. It is clear that this is done with great skill, but we do not see the person who is doing this.
C. Empathy: Charis and her husband Bill are in the social service office in Sunday dress where they are told their application for adoption is rejected.
D. Likability: Charis is generous, kind, and has an ambition.What is the Gradient of the Change?
There was a big change when diagnosed with life-threatening disease, but
after that it was gradual with each setback encountered.What steps do the Transformational Characters go through as they are changing? a) decision to devote life to poetry b) near-death hospitalizations and recoverys c) romance and marriage to Bill d) college graduation e) successful poetry writing f) adopts baby h) dialysis
Gradient 1. The Emotional Gradient
A. The "Forced Change" Emotional GradientForced Change was Charis’ diagnosis of ill health.Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.She went through all these steps but very rapidly to Acceptance. “I see no reason why it should happen to others and not to me.” “Yet if this is God’s will then it is mine.”B. The "Desired Change" Emotional GradientExcitement, Doubt, Hope, Discouragement, Courage, Triumph...or Loss.Charis’ emotions cycle over all these descriptors multiple times.Gradient 2. The Action Gradient
Setup: Charis received a Priesthood Blessing indicating she would be a mother.Journey: Unable to get married, Unable to have children, Rejected for adoptionPayoff: An anonymous 16-year-old girl gets pregnant and decides to give up her baby for adoption but only if Charis could and would accept it.Gradient 3. The Challenge / Weakness Gradient
Charis desires someone to love, to share her ambitions.
Challenge: Boy friends don’t remainWeakness: LonelyCharis desired to be a great writer.Next Challenge: Submissions to publishers rejected.Next Weakness: Felt inadequate.What is the Transformational
Structure of Your Story?
Mini-Movie 1 Status Quo and Call to AdventureOpening scene shows 10-year-old Charis reading to her younger brother and sister from a folded pillow fashioned as a story book. Her adventure stories captivate them with her creativity and voice inflections. She is a bright child full of promise. As the oldest child she matured early from being like a second mother to her siblings.
Mini-Movie 2 Locked Into Conflict
At age 16 Charis falls ill and is diagnosed with a potential life-shorting disease, which becomes her opposition for many years. Still, she is popular and has many dates. But boys shy away after learning of her illness. She meets Bill, a physics student, who sees her character. Charis is tutored for high school, excellent student, is a graduation speaker and enrolls in honor program in San Jose State. Bill is at BYU and they write each other.
Mini-Movie 3 — Hero Tries to Solve Problem But Fails.
Bill writes and suggests Charis come to a Summer Session at BYU and enroll in a creative writing class. Her parents and Stanford doctors approve, and she goes. The summer session is a romantic dream for these two minds. Long hours studying together: she writes and he takes calculus classes for his physics degree. Long walks and picnics. Summer ends and Charis returns to California. Her doctors find her health has improved and OKs her return to Provo Utah with expensive medications. Bill is hesitant to ask her to marry him as he has no means to support her. At the end of the school year Charis returns to California. Bill also goes there to find a summer job.
Mini-Movie 4 Hero Forms a Plan
Bill finds work picking cherries but pay is low, based on the number of buckets he picks. He does fairly well with his drive and determination but was not able to compete with the Mexican nationals. Later he sought part time jobs from the Labor Office, who sent him to a marketing outfit. He would deliver coupons and collect $2.95 from each address. At the end of each day, he turned in the money to the office, which also had a bank of telephones with girls making calls. At the end of each week Bill received a check, which he deposited in the bank. Near the end of summer, with his hustle, he calculated that he would have enough to ask Charis to marry him. He had a dream prompting him to have faith and propose. They had dated for well over a year. So he proposed and outlined a plan where they would live in the low-cost married student housing and he would get a part time job as a lab assistant in the physics department. She accepted. But the next day he received a letter from the bank that the last 2 checks had bounced. He delivered his coupons the next day after which he went to the office to find it empty. No manager, no girls, just quite phones. Desperate, we went back to the Labor Office. They agreed to look into the company, which they did and found they absconded. But they gave Bill another lead, at a warehouse of an electronics company. This proved to be much higher pay and other benefits.
Mini-Movie 5 Hero Retreats & Antagonist Wins
They marry, Bill graduates with Batchelor’s degree and enrolls in the PhD program. Charis wins the college highest award with her poetry. Bill graduates with PhD and accepts teaching job at the South Dakota School of Mines. They buy a house and apply for adoption. The adoption effort is rejected. Then Charis gets very sick and is hospitalized. The doctor calls Bill and tells him he can do nothing more for her, that she is dying. This news is the emotional peak for Bill. He holds to himself. He decides they must go to a major medical center where she can receive dialysis. Bill resigns and they move to Pittsburgh, PA and establish doctors there.
Mini-Movie 6 Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!
In Pittsburg Charis is well enough to attend the ballet performance of her younger sister in Swan Lake on Christmas Eve. On the way home roads are slippery and blizzardy. Suddenly Charis develops a nosebleed. It will not stop so they go to an Emergency Room. The doctors give her transfusions and hours to stop the bleeding. The doctor explains to them it is because of her very low platelet count and that she must be admitted as a patient to the hospital. Charis says no. The doctor ignores her and walks out. Bill follows him down the hall and explains that tomorrow is Christmas and Charis has been preparing for that for their young daughter. The doctor replies, “Look young man. Your wife is in kidney failure, her blood pressure if off the charts, and she could have a stroke any minuet, she has to be hospitalized.” Bill replies, “Yes, I know her condition, but this may be her last Christmas.” This causes the doctor to think for a minute. Then he says, “That is for sure.” Then, “OK, but tomorrow afternoon you take her to the Presbyterian Medical center hospital and have her admitted.” Bill agreed. Bill spends the night on the carpet watching over Charis on the sofa in the family room with the Christmas tree. Christmas morning is spent with Paula their daughter. In the Afternoon Bill checks her into the Presbyterian Hospital. In a few days her platelets improve and she is released.
Mini-Movie 7 Crisis & Climax
They drive back to South Dakota to sell their house and visit Bill’s parents at their Wyoming farm. On the drive back to South Dakota with Paula in the back seat, the sun goes down and a huge bright red sky appears. Charis sobs. “What is the matter?” Charis says, “I will never see this again.” Bill says, “Of course you will. You will be set up on dialysis. That has been our plan all along and we are closer to that goal that ever before.” They drive on with only the hum of the car. Then Charis says, “Promise me this one thing.” Bill says, “Sure what is that?” Charis says, “Do not bury me in Pittsburgh.” They drive back to Pittsburgh, where in a month Charis is back in the hospital with kidney failure. They put her on peritoneal dialysis in a critical care unit next to some dying patients. Afterwards they take her back to her room. Charis makes a strong statement to the doctors. “I will never do that again! I would rather die that go through that again. We have been here for 2 months and my health is failing. We came here because of your dialysis capability. Our South Dakota doctor said that this was my only hope of surviving. My husband was only 5 months from achieving tenure, but he gave that up to bring me here.” All this was said with power. The next day when Bill was with her, the head doctor of the dialysis unit came in and announced, “We have the best dialysis unit in the state. And we have several people receiving dialysis while waiting for a kidney transplant. But we never know when kidneys become available. We also have patients who like you are not candidates for a transplant come in 3 times a week while otherwise living normal lives. So, you see there is great demand, so we have to be selective as to who gets approved for dialysis. You were not on that list because of your medical condition. We have to decide who will benefit the most. But, I will not play God. You have been put on the list for dialysis.” A great relief comes over Charis and Bill. The next day at 5 am Charis has the nurse call Bill to have him come in early. He comes and finds her in the dialysis unit all hooked up. Soft music is playing. The both feel they have finally achieved answers to prayers and are filled with hope. But in an hour Charis says she wants to rest and closes her eyes and Bill relaxes and slumbers while sitting at her side. When he awakes, she is not breathing. This sets up a floury of activity with doctors and crash carts. Alternative scenes show this activity and another one showing Charis’ spirit leaving her body being met by a personage that she recognizes and says, “Now I know you, how well you look, How good I feel.”
Mini-Movie 8 New Status Quo
One year later, Bill and Paula visit Charis; grave in Rapid City, South Dakota in a cemetery not far from their former home. Bill, for the first time, breaks down sobbing which frightens Paula. He recovers and hugs her. They comment of the lilacs that someone has placed on her grave.
How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?
What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
The movie is not so much about changing beliefs but more about changing focus. As this is still in the development stage, I could make this about changing beliefs, starting from a standard feminist idea that women are equal or superior but are victims because men rule over them to an almost opposite view: that a happier idea is that a greater role for women is to use their talents to support and uplift her husband. His success and happiness become hers. Together thus bonded they change the world. This would make it a real cause movie—and profound as well. However, the plan now is to make this an additional interpretation and not an explicit cause.
But this movie is primarily about the focus changing from rather mundane ideas to more meaningful and finally more profound. Coupled with perseverance one sees in Charis a Rocky-type victory, which ultimately is a victory over self.
A. Challenge through QuestioningThis occurs more through Bill’s transformation. To get help for Charis he trusts in Doctors and eventually sees they do not know the answers. His attitude turns to distrust in medicines.B. Challenge by CounterexampleAnother of Bills Old Ways came about from his upbringing on a farm. He learned hard work and did not have much use for the arts or novels or classical music. They were a waste of time. But he has fallen in love with a girl who embraced all the arts. She loved to read, attend concerts, and even aspired to become a poet. They went to the movie The Music Man, which they both enjoyed. Afterward, Charis mentioned to him, “Do you know what makes that a profound movie?” “No,” replied. She said, “It was in the scene when he met the librarian on the bridge and he said to her, ‘there’s always got to be a boy’s band.’”
C. Challenge by "Should Work, But Doesn't"At another time they were driving across Wyoming to visit Bill’s parents where he grew up. They were in the middle of Wyoming and Bill apologized for the drab scenery as they passed some bare mountains with no trees or growth. Chairs disagreed and pointed out the variety of colors seen in those mountains. “There are browns and yellows and reds, revealing a tapestry of meaningful art.”
Slowly, Bill became a fan—mostly of Charis—but also of the things that she loved.
A. Challenge through Living MetaphorMany of Charis’ poems are metaphors.
1) Seabird This poem symbolizes the many boyfriends Charis had but then flew away when they learned of her health condition.
2) To Hopkin’s Nun This poem is Charis’ response to Gerard Manly Hopkin’s poem describing a Nun entering the convent to be sheltered from the world. Charis’ poem describes a counter attitude of facing the storms of life. This is a metaphor for Charis’ energetic positive attitude toward life.
3) To Death This poem personifies Death who appears in her poetry as coming to take Charis. But she always has an answer for him.
4) The dialysis unit of the hospital is a metaphor for the celestial kingdom. Charis and Bill have worked so long to finally be accepted in dialysis program, the only hope of keeping Charis alive. There is soft music. There is light laughter among both the patients and the nurses. Bill relaxes in a chair beside her bed and breathes a sigh of relief.
How are You Presenting Insights
through Profound Moments?
A. Action delivers insightStep 1. The Insight I want to deliver is the apprehension that Charis feels about beginning a relationship with Bill. She feels rushed because her time may be limited. Yet she ponders a slow leisurely romance but realizes she may not have time for that.
Step 2. The conflict consists of dialogue between them—the Old Way.
Step 3. The New Way is to have the audience experience her feeling through a poem she recites (V.O.) as Bill sleeps on a blanket on a picnic two weeks after they first meet.
SPRING
Ah, we must agree about moist grass
And sun against my face,
Cool on one side, on the other warm,
And on yours the same.
To pull some grass together in my hand
And sprinkle it over your closed eyes
Seems like a lovely thing to do,
Or, if you’d move a little, I’d mention a butterfly I see.
Tomorrow the sun may be still warmer,
And we’ll discuss the impending days of warm grass
In our hair and down our backs.
Then I’ll brush your eyes with a soft stem
And they’ll open.
B. Conflict delivers insight
Step 1. The Insight I want to deliver is the apprehension that Charis feels because she may die.
Step 2. The conflict is verbal (written) between Charis and Death
Step 3. The New Way is to have the audience experience this through a (VO) poem wherein Charis personifies Death and boldly talks to him:
TO DEATH
Sing to them beyond the stars
That I remember shadows of their smiles
And long to see their light again.
But leave me here another hour
To feel the summer sun
And hear a sparrow in the eves.
If you could come with me to see
Black dirt, made mud with tears
Washed away by rain, clear drops
From children’s faces, old women’s
Hands knotted, folded on their laps in Church,
And spray from crashing breakers in the sea—
You would weep with me, and linger for a while
To feel the soil beneath your feet.
Leave me now, and tell them I will come
When autumn dries the hills
And I have seen the seasons by.
C. Irony delivers insight
Scene with irony 1: Charis is hospitalized in Standford Medical Center, which is a teaching hospital, and 4 intern doctors do routine rounds. Doctors come into the room, read the notes and charts on the clipboard at the foot of her bed, take temperature and blood pressure, and ask her questions about how she is feeling. None are familiar with her condition, Systemic lupus erythematosus, so she is seen explaining it to them. This is ironic because the young patient is teaching the doctors. They are astonished at her learning.
What are the Most Profound Lines of
the Movie?
Pattern A: Height of the EmotionHeight of Anxiety: Charis declaring she will not undergo peritoneal dialysis, “I will rather die than go through that again.”
Height of Joy: Charis finally on dialysis, but dies and sees her deceased grandmother greeting her, recognizing her as the spirit Charis thought was Death. “Ah yes I know you now. How well you look. How good I feel.”
Pattern B: Build Meaning Over Multiple Scenes
This final scene has two Emotional highs, in the Dialysis Unit upstairs where her hospital room opens out on one side to a large room of patients on dialysis some in street cloths chatting and with soft music playing. At this stage after all Charis has been through, this represents a heavenly sphere. Then the fearful tragic scene of resuscitation is shown, which is then followed by a true heavenly scene where deceased relatives come to greet Charis into the Spirit World.
How Do You Leave Us With A Profound
Ending?
A. Deliver The Profound Truth ProfoundlyThe above final scene presents the following Profound truths: There is an afterlife. Dedication to others is most rewarding. Families are reunited in death.
B. Lead Characters Ending Represents The Change
Charis’s ending is triumphant whereas Bills Ending is left uncertain and sad. He will be a lone man faced with raising a 3 year old daughter. Strong emotions each way.
C. Payoff Key Setups
The recited poems Charis writes after marriage while perfecting her writing skills often allude to Death coming for her. These are all setups for the final scene.
D. Surprising, But Inevitable
After all the comebacks Charis makes with Bill’s encouragement the audience is filled with hope that she will recover or at least be stabilized. So, the ending is a surprise, but inevitable.
E. Leave Us with a Profound Parting Image/Line
“Ah yes I know you now. How well you look. How good I feel.”
-
LESSON 16- Version 1 – ANDREA’S PROFOUND MAP
1. What I learned doing this assignment?
The profound map helps organize and guide the essential principles of the profound movie into a coherent transformational movie. It has helped me add depth, dimension, and substance to any otherwise fair concept.
2. THE PROFOUND MAP:
TITLE: Fly Girls
WRITTEN BY: Andrea Gilbert1. What is Your Profound Truth?
· Just like writing a good story we are all responsible in life for developing good character of depth, asking questions (i.e.., what’s next?) and making choices (i.e., what is in alignment with me now?) in order to be empowered to create our own “preferred” reality.
· You are a multi-dimensional being with enormous potential beyond the five senses – and as soon as you realize this – anything is possible.
· Everyone can create their own reality through self-mastery.
2. What is the Transformational Journey?
Old Ways:
· Jill is neurotic with repressed traumatic memories.
· Self-sabotaging
· Self-doubt
· Powerlessness
· Disconnected
· Uses defense mechanisms like dissociation and sarcasm to cope with others
· Distrustful of others
· Goes along to get along – people pleaser
· Repressed anger
The Journey:
Instead of finding her lost story characters to satisfy a book publishing deal, Jill is forced to look at her traumas and repressed emotions when she goes to look for them though a hypnotherapy journey.
New Ways:
· Self-aware
· Empowered
· Heightened intuition
· Fearless
· Capacity to love others: receive and give love
· Emotionally free from repressed negative emotions
· Personal agency
· Ahisma – Do no harm. Take no shit
Transformational Logline:
A neurotic mid-age writer whose main characters of her graphic novel have gone missing must journey to her subconscious mind through hypnosis where she is immersed in her chaotic sci-fi YA story to face and heal from traumatic memories so she can become whole and invisible and create a reality beyond her dreams.
3. Who are Your Lead Characters?
Change Agent: Jill’s higher-self, Ami
Transformable Character(s): Jill
Betraying Character: Skyler
Oppression: The subconscious “world”, the neurosis/repressed emotions4. How Do You Connect With Your Audience?
· Relatability: Jill is insecure at trying to move forward in her life as an artist and writer. She has conflict with her mother, half-brother, and her job.
· Intrigue: Jill’s book characters seem to have a life of their own without Jill’s awareness. In the beginning the characters have gotten into some dangerous trouble, which seems loosely related to Jill’s problem of “losing them”.
· Empathy: We feel for Jill’s anxiety over presenting her book to a publisher and being called out for not going deep enough. We sympathize when she is picked on by her mother and boss at work.
· Likability: Jill makes funny yet sarcastic remarks about her life as she goes along – observational humor. Jill makes an ally out of the loner Native American, Jimmy Nightwalker, who seems disenfranchised from the world – but becomes a mentor for Jill.
5. The Three Gradients of Change:
Gradient 1. The Emotional Gradient
· Denial – Jill is completely unaware of why her life is stuck
· Doubt – The hypnosis world is strange, dangerous, and triggering.
· Hope – About her newfound strengths and psychic abilities
· Discouragement – Jill rescues a young girl (Ami) only to have her arm dismembered. As a result of the rescue, Jill, now Skyler, is trapped being Ami’s bodyguard.
· Revelation – Jill, now Skyler, finds a new sense of appreciation, confidence, and trust in her collaboration with Ami. Ami provides unconditional love to Skyler, which she never had before.
· Courage – Jill, having seen Skyler die in her session, must resolve to go back into trance to find a new perspective for Skyler and change the outcome.
· Triumph or loss – Jill squares off with Skyler, who has had second thoughts on this growth process – and discovers that she is in fact Skyler. With this revelation, Jill is able to convince Skyler to join with her, and Ami, and become one fully functional human.
Gradient 2. The Action Gradient
SET UP
· Jill pitches her graphic novel to get published
· Fights in an over-reactive way with her toxic mother
· When Jill gets a second shot at this, her characters go missing.
JOURNEY
· Jill undergoes hypnotherapy to resolve the problem.
· Jill ends up in a subterranean sci-fi world in an unknown location at an unknown time and is soon abducted by child trafficking space pirates.
· Jill fights her way out of the pirate mothership using her new psychic powers – but loses her ally due to distrust in herself.
· Jill escapes the pirate mothership and ends up on an alien planet where she rescues Ami –> loses an arm.
· Jill, who now looks like Skyler, becomes Ami’s bodyguard, and doesn’t like it.
· Ami teaches Skyler how to use her new powers and to elevate her vibration to survive the manipulations of the reptilian race and how to fly a spaceship run by consciousness.
· Skyler and Ami bond creating trust and acceptance Skyler never had.
PAYOFFS
· Skyler flies the spacecraft away from the dangerous planet
· Skyler is triggered by the presence of her enemy and crashes the ship.
· Skyler faces her enemy in anger and loses her life as a result.
· Jill, out of the trance, has a dream that her life will be disastrous if she doesn’t go back and resolve the death ending of Skyler.
· Jill goes back into the trance to gain a new perspective for Skyler.
· Instead of Skyler getting the new perspective, Jill must face Skyler’s anger and the truth about her father betraying them.
· Ami stands in unity with Skyler, letting Jill know it is she who must get on board with the truth and accept it.
· Jill realizes she IS SKYLER and AMI and integrates them into her to become a whole person.
· Jill creates an award-winning video game
· Jill responds to her toxic mother in a new way.
Gradient 3. The Challenge / Weakness Gradient
Challenge/Weakness –
C. Jill has to put aside personal control
W. Ignorance
Challenge / Weakness:
C: Jill, in the hypnosis, is trafficked by space beings
W: Powerlessness
Challenge/ Weakness:
C: Tries to activate a giant toddler through telepathy as a distraction for when she and her friend Pal try to get away in a space craft, but her abilities are limited
W: shame/guilt for not being good enough
Challenge/ Weakness:
C: Jill, who now looks just like her character Skyler, must learn from the girl (Ami) how to vibrationally outsmart the reptile people so they can escape. Skyler tries to enhance her psychic abilities to operate a consciousness-assisted space craft – but realizes her repressed anger impedes progress.
W. Self-doubt
Challenge/ Weakness
C: Skyler must overcome her lower vibrational habits such as negative self-talk in order to lift off.
W: Self-sabotage
Challenge/ Weakness:
C: Making sense of the trauma and the feelings Jill is faced with, not realizing these are hers (as opposed to her character Skyler)
W: Dissociation
Challenge/ Weakness
C: Convincing her shadow Skyler that she is worthy and can be given a new role in Jill’s life.
W. Undeserving
6. What is the Transformational Structure of Your Story?
MINI-MOVIE 1 STATUS QUO AND CALL TO ADVENTURE
Jill gives a graphic novel presentation – we see the comic-book images “come to life”: a spaceship– on board are two young girls: one 8 years-old, the other a gritty teenager with a titanium arm. Jill is nervous giving the presentation – meanwhile, behind Jill’s awareness, there’s something wrong inside the world of the space-girls. As Jill struggles to answer tough questions about her story, her characters head for a crash landing.
Filled with anxiety, Jill faces typical stressors: her difficult mother, a challenging job for an introvert as a bartender, and an extroverted, in-your-face successful video gaming podcast mogul half-brother who lets her live with him – for now.
Jill deals with conflict and stress with sarcastic humor and by entertaining ‘flights of fancy’ in her mind – both are types of defense mechanisms to ward off unpleasant feelings she is essentially disconnected from.
Good news, the publishers are willing to give her story a second look with some deep dive changes – bad news…
TURNING POINT: JILL’S characters have gone missing from her pages.
MINI-MOVIE 2 LOCKED INTO CONFLICT
Jill is caught up in the “real” challenges of her failing financial reality and must grudgingly accept a promotion as a bar manager. While she frets about what she can do about finding her characters, she meets a quantum hypnotherapist having dinner at the bar who’s in for an Alien Con weekend as a presenter. Jill learns that she can access her imagination through hypnosis and….
TURNING POINT: Decides hypnosis may be her only chance to solve her problem.
MINI-MOVIE 3 — HERO TRIES TO SOLVE PROBLEM BUT FAILS.
Jill’s experience in the so-called subconscious mind is a huge departure from the surface reality. She’s clearly no longer on Earth, or in this time, but is in fact, in a subterranean part of this strange planet where she’s a teenager, poor, orphaned and lured by a man who feeds her food in order to catch her for child trafficking. She is powerless.
The cargo of trapped kids is shuttled out of this ice-planet by space pirates to a mother spaceship. Jill sees the sky for the first time and is awe-struck. She also notices the sparkling city of the elites down below reminding her she was nothing.
Jill fights to get away from her captors by sheer force and brutal skills that surprise even her. She meets a boy her age, Pal – who she reluctantly allows to tag along.
TURNING POINT: Survival Mindset Fails
MINI-MOVIE 4 HERO FORMS A PLAN
Jill and her new friend Pal hide and gather intel until they meet a shipmate who is motivated to help them escape. Jill discovers she has psychic abilities to see energy streams around different people, beings, and systems, helping her navigate this odd place and form a plan.
But when the shipmate changes his mind and betrays them before they can get to an escape pod, Jill attempts to telepathically connect to a giant toddler and a mutant cat with disastrous effects.
TURNING POINT: Jill must do her best to leverage her new skills in mental telepathy to create a diversion – only to have it go wrong – losing her friend Pal in the process.
MINI-MOVIE 5 HERO RETREATS & ANTAGONIST WINS
Jill finds herself on a strange planet run by human-looking reptilians who seek to keep this ignorant population severely restricted and controlled. She is immediately drawn into rescuing a young girl from being dismembered – only to lose her own arm and be tasked as this girl’s bodyguard.
The girl, Ami, is the spiritually gifted daughter of the reptilian elite, who is always trying to get out from under their control. Jill, who has now transformed to look like Skyler (the main character in Jill’s novel) is tasked with being Ami’s bodyguard. But the actuality stings even more- as Skyler must take her cues from Ami if she wants to survive the rigid and punitive rules of this society.
Ami sees Skyler as a diamond in the rough and takes her to be initiated by the Venusian Elders who teach her the ways of shifting vibrations. When one shifts their vibrations higher, they are immune to the rule’s others are trapped by: they float like water over all challenges and move like a silent breeze past those who seek to control.
For the first time Skyler allows herself to trust and love another human being and to feel joy.
The ultimate challenge of self-mastery is to operate a consciousness-assisted spacecraft. All spacecraft on this planet are preprogrammed to go only to approved areas – however, the elite have access to special wet-wired craft that can merge with the DNA of the pilot and travel anywhere. Ami gains access to one of these craft to get Skyler prepared to leave forever one day. However, Skyler has repressed anger issues that cause problems.
MIDPOINT: Jill makes the transformation in this hypnotic journey to becoming Skyler – the scrappy main character from Jill’s novel. She found her but doesn’t realize she IS her.
Ami – originally the “side-kick” but truly THE CHANGE AGENT also makes her debut in this origin story.
TURNING POINT: Skyler realizes she has repressed anger issues that must be addressed.
MINI-MOVIE 6 HERO’S BIGGER, BETTER PLAN!
The plan to leave this evil society has just been moved up to now. An alliance between Ami’s parents and the ruling reptilian factions has doomed Ami to participate in a militant space defense program and used for her special gifts. She will be transported tomorrow!
Though unsure and not ready, Skyler takes Ami in the conscious-assisted spacecraft (CAS) and flies them out and away from the planet. They’re followed – the chase is on. Skyler escapes to a nearby planet and when she enters the atmosphere, realizes it’s her home ice planet, where she last encountered her betraying enemy Snow-Blinder. Her emotional rage is triggered causing her to lose control of the craft and head for a difficult landing. Now they’re stranded and Ami is unconscious. Skyler leaves to assess damages and gets stuck in a snow drift – then sees Snow Blinder approach. Blinded by her rage at him, she attempts to fight him and ends up slipping off a cliff to her death.
From a hypnosis point of view, Jill is drifting away from this life into the void. She snaps out of the trance very shaken, and before she can be debriefed, runs out of the office.
TURNING POINT: Blinded by her rage at him, Skyler attempts to fight Snow-Blinder and ends up slipping off a cliff to her death – leaving Ami on her own.
MINI-MOVIE 7 CRISIS & CLIMAX
After coming home and having a lucid dream showing her the disastrous life which she is projected toward now (if she doesn’t resolve this issue) Jill is motivated to try and go into the hypnosis session again to get a new perspective for Skyler.
Jill determines to find the hypnotherapist – who is now on her way to the airport – to be put back into trance so she can retry that last fatal scene from another perspective, which she isn’t sure what that is yet.
Jill, back in trance, as herself – confronts Snow Blinder (a bad guy in her novel) who is not anything like she remembered or believed. He has reformed and has a very sympathetic backstory and perspective on what happened.
Jill believes she can convince Skyler to shift her perspective and take a new course. But when she finally gets her chance to re-enter that fated scene – and Jill saves Skyler from falling to her death – instead of gratitude and reason, Jill is met with heightened vitriol and rage from Skyler about the past Jill has never been burdened to know.
Skyler, having acted as Jill’s defensive ego all her life, was there when her father left – no- abandoned them to the poisonous mother who felt nothing but bitterness and contempt. Jill was saved from having to bear the brunt of this trauma. Similar “you -can’t- handle- the -truth” TRUTH BOMBS are hurled at a baffled Jill. Skyler creates violent mayhem moving things with her mind, causing destruction with her rage.
TURNING POINT: Go big or just quit.
MINI-MOVIE 8 NEW STATUS QUO
Jill gets triggered by Skyler’s truth bombing as she now recalls a flood of painful repressed memories that come through.
Ami appears by Jill’s side. Jill is stunned and is touched by her honesty and gentle patience. Jill peers into Ami’s sun goggles and sees the reflection of Skyler within.
JILL REALIZES THE TRUTH NOW…. she IS Skyler. Ami goes to Skyler, and immediately calms her down and stands in alliance with her. Jill marvels at the trust and love that radiates between them.
Jill closes her eyes. When they open, Jill is the only one there.
Jill realizes then that Ami and Skyler are the source of connection for her: Skyler is her shadow – Ami is her.
Tying up Loose Ends:
Skyler is assigned a new role in Jill’s life, which keeps her busy and happy, with similar duties – only more productive and lucrative for Jill’s creative goals developing the interactive, introspective video game. Ironically one that her video podcaster brother has trouble playing.
Top of her game now, Jill meets a man at Comic Con who bears a striking resemblance to Pal, the guy from the mothership. Love is a strong potential.
Finale:
Old belief “We were abandoned – and therefore unloved!” ->
New belief: “We can fly from this new place of wholeness – together as a team.” ~ Fly Girls.
7. How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?
What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
A. CHALLENGE THROUGH QUESTIONING
QUESTION:
ANDREW (publisher)
Your characters seem like “types” rather than fleshed out humans that we can relate to.
OLD WAY – Jill’s lack of depth into her characters and herself.
QUESTION:
MOTHER
(sighs)
What dramatic event is it this time?
OLD WAY – Jill’s inability to make herself clear and understood in the face of a narcissistic mother. Lack of self-confidence/ assertiveness.
QUESTION:
MOTHER
Honey, there’s no place you fit in.
OLD WAY – Triggers Jill’s insecurity that “not fitting in” is a BAD thing.
QUESTION:
DAN
Why’s you’re face so red then?
(Throws up his hands)
Jeez, I’m just joking. Lighten up! I forgot how sensitive you are…
OLD WAY – Jill’s insecurity in the face of antagonizing bosses – doesn’t stand up for herself – no boundaries.
Question:
INT. RESTAURANT/BAR
The bar is darkened for evening service. Nightwalker watches Jill’s fading confidence.
NIGHTWALKER
Remember. They’re just people.
OLD WAY: Jill is intimidated by new experiences, especially those that involve lots of people.
B. CHALLENGE BY COUNTEREXAMPLE
COUNTEREXAMPLES to an OLD WAY
a. CE:
NIGHTWALKER
Your heart shines with the light of a thousand suns. It just happens to be hiding behind some clouds right now.
Old Way – Jill’s insecurity. Nightwalker has the clarity Jill is lacking.
b. CE:
JILL
They didn’t pass…not yet. I’ve got to show what my characters want.
CONNER
They want money and to be successful. Who doesn’t?
JILL
This is a sci-fi story, Conner. People in space age universes don’t care about money.
CONNER
They do if they don’t want to be kicked out on the street to be homeless.
OLD WAY – Challenges Jill’s lack of ambition to help herself succeed. Conner represents the new way: Success.
C. CHALLENGE BY “SHOULD WORK, BUT DOESN’T”
1. OLD WAY: Jill dissociates when met with conflict – but now that she has accepted a job with more responsibility, she can’t get away with it.
CHALLENGE: PATRON
SCENE APPLICATION:
Jill approaches a table.
JILL
How’s everything tonight?
A blue-haired woman looks startled.
BLUE HAIR
Who are you? Are you new here?
JILL
I’m the new manager, but you may have seen me at the bar.
BLUE HAIR
Did you come here to drink?
JILL
No, I…um…was the bartender. Ha, ha. That’s a good one.
The woman looks serious.
BLUE HAIR
Well, I’m not at all happy with my salad…
As the woman goes on and on about her salad, Jill’s eyes glaze over.
JILL IMAGINES…
The woman getting on top of the table, as if she were an evangelical preacher giving a sermon…and the crowd throwing rotten tomatoes at her.
BLUE HAIR
(snaps)
I BEG YOUR PARDON. ARE YOU GOING TO REPLACE MY SALAD OR JUST STAND THERE GAWKING?
Jill blinks then snatches up the salad having no idea what Blue Hair wanted.
2. OLD WAY: Jill Needs to Isolate When She’s Overwhelmed – but now that she has accepted a job with more responsibility, she can’t get away with it.
CHALLENGE: Chef
SCENE APPLICATION:
Jill stands in the refrigerated icebox surrounded by salads and prepped vegetables – and tries to catch her breath.
One of the chefs walks in. He doesn’t look happy.
CHEF
You can’t use this space. You have your own space now. We have to have room to come and go and not feel like we’re disturbing you.
3. OLD WAY: Jill is crippled with self-doubt
CHALLENGE: On the mothership, Jill and her friend Pal are looking for a way off the ship.
SCENE APPLICATION:
A job opening appears for a cargo pilot in the breakroom. Jill balks at the idea… c’mon, be serious. She is the only one who may qualify since she has psychic tendencies. Then when they meet a motivated crew member to help them so he too can get off, she starts to see how she may be able to do this. But, when the opportunity presents itself to take the aptitude test – she refuses – putting the plan in jeopardy.
OLD WAY: Jill is self-righteous when it comes to the defending the underdog.
CHALLENGE: A genetically engineered giant toddler being used for its beautiful hair is disturbed by Jill’s tirade.
SCENE APPLICATION:
As Jill learns about this giant 30 ft toddler’s DNA being used to produce beauty/ hair products her angry energy disturbs the baby, causing it to almost tear down the door. Before, her tirades or tantrums had no effect whatsoever. Now they garner attention.
INTRODUCTION OF A NEW WAY: Jill is persuaded to “sing” a lullaby to the child to settle it down – and it works.
D. CHALLENGE THROUGH LIVING METAPHOR
a. OLD WAY: Jill has repressed her dark feelings causing her to be imbalanced in her life.
CHALLENGE: Jimmie Nightwalker “sees” her.
METAPHOR: BLACK WOLF
SCENE APPLICATIONS:
After NIGHTWALKER has told the tourists at the bar the story of the Two Wolves – he gives Jill a Black Wolf talisman to remind her to be on the lookout for the shadow and when you find it – make sure you remember to feed it too.
b. OLD WAY: Jill lets others define her/ no personal boundaries
CHALLENGE: General Manager Dan, New General Manager Rachel, space traffickers.
METAPHOR: HAIR – How Hair Defines Jill’s ability to reclaim her authenticity and personal power.
SCENE APPLICATIONS:
SCENE 1. In one scene Dan is negging Jill about her hair – how it’s a bold look for her.
SCENE 2: In a follow up scene, after Rachel coerces Jill into becoming the new bar manager. Rachel, on Jill’s first day on the job, then forces Jill to fix her hair to an appropriate style.
SCENE 3: In another later scene, when Jill is in the hypnotic journey world – she is captured along with other kids on this alien planet and then forced to have their heads shaved. It looks as though Jill will “go along to get along” – until she snaps and causes chaos and mayhem to get away.
SCENE 4: Jill shaves half her own head in solidarity with the “taken” – but keeps half to show her defiance.
c. OLD WAY: Jill has been unaware of her true “expansive” potential because she has been over-shadowed by her repressed feelings.
CHALLENGE: In the hypnotic journey – The cargo spaceship carries the captive children from the subterranean world to a mothership outside of the planet’s atmosphere.
METAPHOR: THE SKY
SCENE APPLICATIONS:
The cargo ship flies out of the underground of this ice planet and rises above the surface, where Jill sees the sky for the first time – and is in awe.
d. OLD WAY: Jill seems unaware of her higher self – meaning she is anchorless without a guiding compass.
CHALLENGE: Initially, the cargo ship on the mothership, is a conscious-assisted sentient being once it downloads the appropriate consciousness to operate it. Jill has to figure out how to operate it…now that she has qualified.
METAPHOR: THE SPACECRAFT
SCENE APPLICATION:
Jill is able to enter the craft by virtue of her ability to telepathically link with it. But operating this thing is another matter…and she’s in a big fat hurry. Once she is consciously linked through her hands the ship begins to communicate with her. And though she is able to get it to levitate and move forward – even get the doors to open – the auto pilot flicks on for the rest of the way, as she is not yet suitably trained for this stage of flying. The metaphor is she needs to learn to relax and trust the guidance and then be able to master her own vessel.
e. OLD WAY: Jill has repressed emotional trauma -> her shadow-side
CHALLENGE: Going into a hypnotic journey to discover her characters and who knows what else.
METAPHOR: The World she encounters during the hypnosis is her mental state.
SCENE APPLICATION:
Everything from page 30 until 75 and then again in the whole third act.
8. How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?
A. ACTION DELIVERS INSIGHT
ACTION: Jill stops the man who tries to shave her head –> later decides to shave half her head of hair in solidarity for the kids who she was abducted with who could not get away as she did, the other half in defiance for her freedom.
INSIGHT: It’s necessary to take control of your Destiny
ACTION: Skyler (aka Jill) attempts to fly a conscious-assisted spacecraft that requires her mental connectedness. She did it before, sort of, but because she feels unworthy now, she is unable to make it happen – she’s blocked. As a result, she gets triggered by shame then anger and spirals into a meltdown in front of her ward, Ami. There’s no escaping the meltdown and so is forced to look at this painful emotion as the reason she has been held back in life.
INSIGHT: Self Examination will get you over the hurdles
B. CONFLICT DELIVERS INSIGHT
CONFLICT: Jill thinks she is superior to her brother Conner for her artistic medium of writing graphic novels, while he plays and podcasts video games for money. They argue about it. Jill is stunned to learn video games reach a much wider audience – and she can control the narrative.
INSIGHT: A new perspective can make all the difference in choices you make.
CONFLICT: Ami reveals a secret she has kept about needing Skyler to be able to fly her off this planet before her parents turn her over to a nefarious secret operation for exploitation. Now that date has been pushed up Skyler doesn’t feel she is ready to learn to fly a spacecraft. Skyler flat out refuses until she reveals to Ami, she is terrified that her past will catch up with her.
INSIGHT: Expressing vulnerability can lead to trust, which leads to cooperation.
CONFLICT: Skyler’s spacecraft is intricately connected to her consciousness – so when she flies into the airspace of the one who betrayed her in the beginning of this journey – Snow Blinder – her anger toward him triggers her to the extent that it causes her plane to malfunction. Now she knows the consequences of not doing the necessary inner work.
INSIGHT: It’s important to know the consequences of your beliefs and limits so they can be adjusted.
C. IRONY DELIVERS INSIGHT
IRONY: Jill is unaware that Skyler and Ami are parts of her psyche playing out roles in her comic book.INSIGHT: Self-actualization brings life into perspective.IRONY: Ami, who is unconditional love, is paired with Skyler, an angry and vengeful teenager filled with self-doubt and grief. Ami sees the real girl beneath the anger and gets Skyler to trust her.INSIGHT: Love & appreciation heals all wounds.9. What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
PATTERN A: HEIGHT OF THE EMOTION
The 5 most emotional moments, the emotion, meaning and line of dialogue.
1. Jill is triggered by being questioned in a pitch meeting, then having to contend with her insensitive, toxic mother. The emotion: shame for not being good enough. Jill has been called out for her characters not having much depth…which she unconsciously blames her mother for, since her mother doesn’t seem to care for who Jill is or what she is experiencing in her life. Jill’s mother goes on about her other child – Jill’s half-brother who the mother really adores.
JILL
YOU’RE A FEW PILLS SHY OF MAKING MOTHER OF THE YEAR RIGHT NOW.
2. Jill is embarrassed by a sincere compliment given to her by a Native American who helps at the bar she works. Emotion: embarrassment. This counter example for Jill’s insecurity makes her feel awkward and exposed. The compliment is a sincere observation from an authentic person.
NIGHTWALKER
Your heart shines with the light of a thousand suns. It just happens to be hiding behind some clouds right now.
JILL
IT’S NOT A CLOUD, IT’S MY SHADOW HOLDING IT HOSTAGE.
3. Jill is alone by a stream devastated by not being able to locate her characters in her digital file or sketchbook. Emotion: Powerless. Terrified. Jill stands to finally make her dreams come true by having her Sc-fi graphic novel published – and now her dream is being snatched away.
JILL
WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO DESERVE THIS?
4. In the hypnotic world, Jill is enraged at being lured and captured by a man who gained her trust with food. Emotion: rage. Jill is under a hypnotic trance and is imaging this scene where she is a teenage orphan, starving and homeless, and a man has taken advantage of this fact to use food to lure into a trap for child traffickers to capture her. The feelings she feels are real, however. Jill is caged in the back of a truck and looking at the man, burning his image in her mind.
JILL
I WILL REMEMBER YOU. WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN, AND I WILL, MY FACE WILL BE THE LAST THING YOU WILL EVER SEE.
5. Jill is mesmerized by seeing the sky for the first time coming out from within the planet. Emotion: Awe. Jill had been living within a subterranean reality within this icy planet. She had never seen the sky before now. Now she and the other kids are being transported by cargo spacecraft to a mothership….and she can see the sky, as well as the planet below.
JILL
IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN THIS WAS HERE, I WOULD HAVE TRIED HARDER TO FIND ANOTHER WAY OUT.
PATTERN B: BUILD MEANING OVER MULTIPLE SCENES
· THE LINE: They’re just people.
· THE ARC: Jill is easily overwhelmed by large crowds of people because of childhood neglect instance –>to where she is cared for by someone –>to where she becomes solid within herself, and crowds no longer bother her.
· MEANING FOR EACH LINE:
1<sup>st</sup> time provokes a quick flashback to when her mother lost Jill in a large crowd as a child – then later came back and said in an impatient gaslighting huff “They’re just people, Jill – stop being so dramatic!”
2<sup>nd</sup> time – A consoling gesture by Ami, who actually cares about Jill.
3<sup>rd</sup> time: Jill’s possible reply to her mother at the end as a new way of standing up for herself.
· THE LINE: It never fails to amaze me!
· THE ARC: Jill’s neurotic filter sees the world as crazy and disappointing –>Jill is disappointed in herself –>Jill is surprised by how a new perspective can change everything.
· THE MEANING FOR EACH LINE:
1. What you look for is what you get in the game of projecting.
2. When Jill starts to become self-aware.
3. When Jill sees evidence of how a fresh perspective can change her inner reality: insight
10. How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?
A. Deliver The Profound Truth Profoundly:
When Jill realizes that her characters reflect herself, she integrates them back into her persona and makes the ultimate decision: to forgive and let go of the hurt caused her so long ago.
B. Lead Characters Ending Represents The Change:
Jill has a new perspective about who she is, where her trauma originated and is now prepared to move forward with her creative pursuits.
C. Payoff Key Setups:
Answers to: Will Jill realize she is represented by her book characters – and when she does, what will she decide to do about it? Will she get her book published…or something better? What will happen to Skyler and Ami when Jill realizes the truth about them?
D. Surprising, But Inevitable:
Jill is surprised when she encounters her cartoon character Skyler, who is raging and uncooperative. Skyler is fighting this “rational” resolution that Jill brings her about the “new perspective” – because it’s more make-believe bullshit to her. It’s more smoke and mirrors, denial, and delusional thinking – and that pisses her off. Skyler knows the truth: Jill’s father abandoned them because he was an asshole. Jill didn’t do anything wrong and should stop acting like she did. Then Jill realizes Skyler is her – her subconscious self – who knows all and wakes up from the delusion to integrate these disparate parts back together.
E. Leave Us with a Profound Parting Image/Line:
1. Jill meets her hypnosis ally, Pal, reincarnated here in this life at a video-con or Comic-Con.: 2. Skyler and Ami both have starring roles in Jill’s new interactive video game – as they fly off together in their spaceship. The sky is the limit!
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Jim Clark’s Lesson 27 The Profound story map
What I learned is that there are multiple ways to look at a story to see if the structure fits and the story is cohereht.
TITLE: Happy Hearts
WRITTEN BY: James E. ClarkWhat is Your Profound Truth?
Family ties are organic and overseen by God.
What is the Transformational Journey?
Old Ways: Being alone in life.
Karen focuses on manipulating people to get her way. Margie has no immediate family and has
happy memories of her married life, but is alone. Ruth wants something different in her
life.
Journey:Transformational Logline: An entitled Adult Protective Services bureaucrat, Karen, has a plan to abuse her authority and put wealthy individuals into the system so she can make positive impression on her boss and get faster promotions to help payoff her student loans.
Transformable Character with an issue…
Issue: Karen thinks she’s entitled and untouchable
Takes a journey that challenges them deeply…
Karen targets an 85 year old wealthy widow who has all of her faculties
And is well know in the community and is able to fend off Karen’s manipulations.
.and concludes with the transformation.
The Widow, Margie, toys with Karen through the Chief of Police and the health care system. Karen loses her job, hits rock bottom and reverts back to her childhood biblical training realizing she has been wrong the whole time. She begins her steps back to treating others with respect.
Who are Your Lead Characters?
Change Agent (the one causing the change): Margie/Ruth
Transformable Character(s) (the one who makes the change): Karen
Betraying Character (if you have one): Maureen
Oppression: Will Clifton & Ruth fall in love.Old Ways
Karen: Manipulative and egotistical
Ruth: Misses her deceased husband
Margie: No immediate family
Clifton: Can’t get past his PTSD
New Ways: Karen wants a family to rely upon, Margie has a family to love and Ruth finds herself with new additions to her own family and is the matriarch.
How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie?
A. Relatability – They Are Us!
Ruth: As a retiree, Ruth is going to spend her winter in Palm Springs rather than Michigan
Margie: Has wonderful memories of herself with her husband and still runs the family business.
Karen: Snotty, rude and self serving
Clifton: Just a nice guy who lives in the RV park and does maintenance.
B. Intrigue
Ruth: She’s contemplating trying to find out about her birth father who worked in Hollywood.
Margie: Why does she not have family to rely on?
Karen: What makes her so indignant?
Clifton: Why is he standoffish around women?
C. Empathy
Ruth: She’s widowed and a long way from home
Margie: No immediate family
Karen: Grew up in foster care
Clifton: Wife divorced him
D. Likability
Ruth: She’s a nurse and cares for people
Margie: Confident and stands up for herself
Karen: She knows she’s been doing the wrong thing and admits it
Clifton: He opens up his feelings with Ruth
What is the Gradient of the Change?
What steps do the Transformational Characters go through as they are changing?
Gradient 1. The Emotional Gradient
A. The “Forced Change” Emotional Gradient ( Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.)
Ruth has to decide if she wants to know about her birth father
Denial: She’ll never remarry
Bargaining: She decides to visit Hollywood
Acceptance: She incorporates Margie, Karen and Clifton into her family.
Margie is faced with accepting new people into her life
Denial: She never had children
Anger: Karen is trying to put her into a secured facility
Bargaining: Ruth may be her step daughter
Acceptance: She has a family after all
Karen: is faced with the impact of her self serving decisions
Clifton: Faces his life without love until he meets Ruth
B. The “Desired Change” Emotional Gradient
Excitement, Doubt, Hope, Discouragement, Courage, Triumph…or Loss.
Gradient 2. The Action Gradient
RUTH
Setup: Ruth is going to spend the winter in Palm Springs (snow birding) playing golf and checking out SoCal
Journey: Ruth makes friends in the RV park. She toys with trying to find out about her birth father.
Payoff: Ruth discovers that Margie is her step mother and they bond. Margie leaves her estate to Ruth. Clifton and Ruth fall in love and marry.
MARGIE
Setup: Margie has great memories of her life with Walter. She is the CEO of a multimillion dollar real estate and film empire.
Journey: Margie has cardiac issues. She has to deal with the fact that Walter had a daughter he was unaware of. Margie was unable to have children, so she decides to have Ruth as her daughter.
Payoff: Margie now has a daughter, grandkidlets and great grandkidlets. She has someone to will her estate to.
KAREN:
Setup: Karen is using her governmental authority to try and have Margie committed.
Journey: Karen has met her foe with Margie who is mentally sharp and well connected in Palm Springs. Karen loses her job with the County. She realizes her downfall and recommits her life to Jesus.
Payoff: Margie’s estate creates a non profit foundation. Karen is the CEO. Ruth and Clifton sit on the Board of Directors.
Gradient 3. The Challenge / Weakness Gradient
RUTH
Challenge: New environment
Weakness: Strange landscape, playing golf in the heat. Makes a new friend who’s an alcoholic.
Next Challenge: Will she find out about her birth father in Hollywood.
Next Weakness: She’s undecided about researching him.
MARGIE
Next Challenge: She may have a daughter
Next Weakness: She’s afraid that her wonderful memories will be obliterated
KAREN
Net Challenge: Karen has to change to be able to live a respectable life
Next Weakness:
What is the Transformational Structure of Your Story?
Mini-Movie 1 Status Quo and Call to Adventure I know you’re looking…
Fade in on Ruth overlooking the Coachella Valley from I10 at Chiriaco Summit. Ruth is excited and happy to be on her own in a new environment and can’t wait to golf. Ruth manifests a unique female gift. She knows when men are watching her from behind. Ruth meets Clifton and sparks fly.
Margie has wonderful memoires of her life with Walter. The memories come in the form of the cars they owned over the decades. Each one was a white convertible with red leather interior ranging from a Ford up to a Bentley. Margie knows how to handle Karen and firmly kicks Karen out of her home. Margie meets Ruth when Margie feints and Ruth, being an RN comes to her aid. The have similar views of Karen.
Mini-Movie 2 Locked Into Conflict
Ruth is falling for Clifton, but Maureen is jealous of Ruth.
Margie sic’s the PSPD on Karen. They stop her for traffic violations multiple times per week.
Clifton reveals he’s a retired Major General (army). Maureen , completely drunk, challenges Ruth at a Veteran’s Day event at the VFW.
Mini-Movie 3 — Hero Tries to Solve Problem But Fails.
Ruth tries to communicate with Maureen, but finds that Maureen committed suicide on Thanksgiving Day.
Ruth tells Margie that Walter was her dad. Margie tells Ruth to leave.
Mini-Movie 4 Hero Forms a Plan
Ruth & Clifton become a couple on Veteran’s Day at the VFW.
Ruth nur4ses Clifton through PTSD episode.
Margie decides that Ruth needs to know her roots and joins them at the RV park for Thanksgiving.
Mini-Movie 5 Hero Retreats & Antagonist Wins
Karen is still getting tickets from PSPD
Mini-Movie 6 Hero’s Bigger, Better Plan!
Karen loses her job with the county. She’s being charged with abusing Margie by using the power of the county but no the law. She has returned to her relationship with Christ and pleads guilty to the court.
Margie suggests to the judge that Karen needs to atone but no in jail. She will have to work helping elderly people at Chirriaco Vista RV Park and a nursing home.
Mini-Movie 7 Crisis & Climax
Margie is dying from a heart condition. Ruth is broken hearted.
Margie’s estate goes to Ruth with funding for multiple charities. The estate establishes a non profit foundation and Karen is placed in charge.
Mini-Movie 8 New Status Quo
The foundation is successful world wide. Ruth and Clifton are married. The movie ends with Karen in her wedding gown.
How are the “Old Ways” Challenged?
Waitress at Margie’s favorite coffee shop wants to know about Margie’s day dreaming.
A. Challenge through Questioning
#1
Donna
How was today’s parade?
Margie
Nice.
Donna
Does it ever change?
Margie
Why would it?
#2
Teddy leers as Ruth walks away.
Without turning around…
Ruth
Am I feeling your eyeballs, Mr. Collins?
#3
Clifton
Your plates say you’re from Michigan.
Ruth
Uh huh. You?
Clifton
Not really. My kids are there, but not me.
#4
Margie is surprised to see Karen at her front door. She assesses and responds.
Margie
Miss Halverson. You’re here because?
Karen
I’m following up on my previous visit. May I come in?
Before Margie can respond, Karen steps through the door, brushing past Margie. Margie turns to face Karen.
Margie
You may not. You may leave. You are a rude young lady aren’t you?
What beliefs are challenged that cause a main character to shift their perspective…and make the change?
B. Challenge by Counterexample
Margie is a wealthy business woman/ Ruth is a farmer and an RN
Ruth has a heart for caregiving/Clifton is broken by combat and a failed marriage.
Karen lost her way spiritually while in college/Being broken, the Holy Spirit draws her back to him.
C. Challenge by “Should Work, But Doesn’t”
Ruth befriends Maureen who is on again/off again. Maureen eventually commits suicide.
Ruth loves Clifton and tries to help him. She can’t stop his PTSD.
Margie tries to keep Karen from bothering her. It takes Ruth teaming up with Margie in the hospital to chase Karen away.
E. Challenge through Living Metaphor
How are You Presenting Insights through Profound Moments?
A. Action delivers insight
#1: Ruth is standing and overlooking the Coachella Valley. She takes a swing with a golf club and stops the swing when the club head is pointed straight at the valley below.
#2 In the coffee shop, Margie looks out the window and watches as she and her husband Walter age as they drive by in multiple cars from different decades. Each car is white with red leather interior. Margie wears a long scarf until the most recent car where she’s alone and wearing a short scarf.
B. Conflict delivers insight.
#1 Ruth has the ability to know when men are looking at her from behind. She has excellent responses, mostly snarky, occasionally friendly.
#2Karen barging into Margie’s home uninvited.
C. Irony delivers insight.
#1: Margie’s company goes world wide and does immense charity work. Margie had to die before this could happen.
What are the Most Profound Lines of the Movie?
Pattern A: Height of the Emotion
#1“I know you’re watching me!”
Multiple scenes when Ruth needs to be tough on a guy or when she wants to flirt.
#2 Hi. Sharp gig line.
Ruth and Clifton are going on their first date and she doesn’t know where the date will be. Clifton shows up at her door in his Army Dress Blues with two stars on his shoulders.
Pattern B: Build Meaning Over Multiple Scenes
#3 Sometimes you just have to be rude to make a point, and have fun.
How Do You Leave Us With A Profound Ending?
Margie’s wealth is used to help people around the world. Karen is part of that help. Closing scene: Karen in her wedding gown.
A. Deliver The Profound Truth Profoundly
B. Family Matters!
C. Lead Characters Ending Represents The Change
D. Margie will her wealth for the good of others. Ruth, Clifton and Karen carry out the giving.
C. Payoff Key Setups
D. Surprising, But Inevitable
E. Leave Us with a Profound Parting Image/Line get passed his PTSD
4. How Do You Connect With Your Audience in the Beginning of the Movie? A. Relatability – They Are Us!
B. IntrigueRuth: Why is she snow birding in SoCal?
Margie: Who is this woman of stature?
Karen: Why is Karen such a twisted person?
What’s up between Maureen & Clifton?
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