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Lesson 3
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19 Replies
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Bob Rowen’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is how to approach putting a logline together for my story. And further how to address the old ways of my main character that setup his transformational journey.
Logline:
An idealistic, naïve, headstrong high school social science teacher must repetitively experience the realities of his educational system until he is forced to come to terms with the politics of it.
1. Issue: An idealistic, naïve, headstrong high school social science teacher …
2. Journey: … must repetitively experience the realities of his educational system …
3. Transformation: … until he is able to come to terms with the politics of it.
Old Ways:
The teacher has reasons to believe he is on the same page with those in charge of the instructional program. He brings the “real world”, past and present, into the classroom and encourages his students to wrestle with what they consider the good and bad of it. In so doing, he ignores the cautionary warnings of those who express concern with his approach.
New Ways:
The teacher revisits and promotes the need for academic freedom based on his school’s more than a century old set of founding principles dedicated to “Truth, Toleration, and Liberty”.
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LESSON 3: Andrea’s Transformational journey
What I learned doing this assignment is…
I can get very specific about this story now as my focus narrows and I have to “show up”. I’ve been thinking about this for some time now…and now that I have to show my work it takes me to another level of precision (I guess). I am finding I am highly motivated to show my best side – and maybe that’s what makes the difference.
I am performance motivated – as opposed to writing just for myself or my writing partner and husband John. And John is a professional screenwriter – just not in this genre. He’s more into thriller or crime fiction. Anyway, this edge of writing to show my muse tends to make me sharper. That’s what I notice – and it’s a good thing.
Btw, any inkling that the story I am writing is about my own personal transformational journey is just a coincidence, lol. I AM AWARE! 😇
Log-line:
A neurotic mid-age writer whose main characters of her graphic novel have gone missing must journey to her subconscious mind through hypnosis where she is immersed in her sci-fi YA story to face and heal from traumatic memories so she can become whole and invisible and create a reality beyond her dreams.
The Old Ways:
Jill is a neurotic YA Sci-fi graphic novelist who holds repressed traumatic memories of her past that keep her stuck in self-defeating patterns of *self-sabotage, *low self-esteem, *poor life choices, *very little control, or power over her life’s direction, *lack of willingness or maturity to take responsibility for her life – and ultimately keeps her from succeeding in the one thing that brings her joy – writing and illustrating stories to inspire young people.
Even here with her art, she is unsure and superficial about who her story characters are or what they want – which makes her prospective publishers wary. They decide to give her a chance to go deeper and repropose her concept to them in a second presentation – but now her characters have “gone missing”. They’re nowhere to be found! – and she’s running out of options…😩
The New Ways:
Jill becomes self-aware and empowered. She finally understands who her characters (Skyler and Ami) are – their traumas, fears, concerns, and wants, as well as their buried potential – such as heightened intuition, mental telepathy, and clairsentience (multi-dimensionality). And realizes they are her.
As Jill overcomes her fears, faces her traumas, and lets these go – her self-awareness and intuitive powers grow, enabling her vibration to raise and make her a powerful force for good and an agent of change in the world.
Her potential book publishing deal becomes a life-changing contract to create an epic interactive, introspective, multi-dimensional video game that enables its players to make positive, empowering choices over negative, self-defeating ones throughout the game and enhance their vibrational score and thus their potential reality of choice. Practice for the so-called “real world”.😉
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Andrea Gilbert.
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Hi Andrea,
Brava! This is a great idea – I love the idea of characters in a novel going missing, with the writer having to do deep inner work to find them and help them heal so they’ll return to the page. Nice! Can’t wait to hear more from this story.
Will
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Thank you for your enthusiastic response, Will. It means so much to me that you get it.
Cheers!
Andrea
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I love the way you approached this assignment. After reading your I wish I had said more in mine! I think your idea is quite clever. Somewhat of a Ruby Sparks in reverse.
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Thanks Mary. Turns out you can edit these posts 🙂 I keep a running log of all the lesson write-ups in a Word doc – so you can add, refine and so forth as you gain more insight.
Thank you for your kind encouragement.
Andrea
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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LESSON 2
Profound Movie
Trish’s First Three Decisions
What I learned from doing this assignment is that I had no idea what the Profound Truth would be or what the Audience Change would be. Still may not know.
1. Profound Truth: face obstacles and overcome them
2. Audience Change: Be courageous and take action as they face an unknown future
3. Entertainment Vehicle: Embellished True Story
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Bill Southwell’s Transformational Journey
What I learned from this assignment is that a profound movie must contain a transformational journey. Old ways are to be clearly defined, a gradual change takes place, and a profound message emerges.
1. Logline: Charis is ambitious—desires to be a poet, but believes women are oppressed. She prides herself with the ability to control boy friends. She comes down with a serious disease and rethinks her life and goals. Finally, becomes devoted to one who marries her in spite of her illness.
2. Old ways: She thinks she is happy in being in control and furthermore championing the feminist causes.
3. New ways: She achieves humility and empathy and learns happiness by truly loving her husband. Her writing skills improve.
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Jeanne Sanner Transformed Journey
What I learned from this assignment: I played with the logline and recognized I had started with a general and was able to work down to the bottom line. (I hope)
1. Tell us your logline for the transformational journey.
Andrea, an emotionally and sexually abused daughter, /struggles to overcome her hatred of her father, /until she realizes that only forgiveness will free her to have the life she desires.
Tell us what you see as the old ways.
Andrea hates her father and does not want anything to do with him. She gets livid whenever her father attempts to contact her, which disturbs everyone around her.
Andrea has no desire to forgive her father. She believes he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.
She has no clue where to start if she did decide to forgive him.
She has no interest in searching for a way to forgive even though her friends encourage her to do so.
2. Tell us what you see as the new ways.
First there is a transition period in which she tries to find an answer, but nothing she tries provides an answer. She then tries the way her friends used. At first that does not work.
Then she comes to the realization that she really does need help and sincerely commits herself to the change she must experience.
She ultimately has dinner with her father, which goes well, but the hug at the end is awkward; she still has work to do; it’s too soon for physical contact, but she has come a long way and we know she will ultimately conquer all.
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SUBJECT LINE:
William M Donnelly’s Transformational Journey
WHAT I LEARNED: CLASS 3, MAY 6, 2023
I learned to set up an effective longline, which gives me greater clarity on the story arc line and character development. I learned how to begin to see the before and after “clarity in growth” for my protagonist.
LOGLINE FOR TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY
In a pre-apocalyptic world, a depressed young woman with wild voices in her head / learns to access her innate wisdom / and discovers she was born to save humanity from its own apocalyptic choices.OLD WAYS:
Define the Old Ways of life that the characters live out of at the beginning of the story.
She sees herself at war with the world itself and everyone in it. <div>
She believes the voices in her head make her insane
She feels powerless in a broken world/She is at the whim of all those around her
She is angry that adults have screwed up the earth and her generation must pay for it
She runs away from that which she fears, using what she can to go numb
She assumes she is broken and thus must hide from the world.
She feels powerless to the voices in her head and wants to give up on life
NEW WAYS:
Define the New Way of life the characters take on by the end of the story.
She understand that she is not at war with the world, but with the way we have synthesized stories about ourselves and our collective myths.</div>
She discovers that gaining access & mastery to her wisdom and saving humanity is the only sane choice
She awakens to her power and makes her own decisions
She takes responsibility for her part in solving humanity’s current apocalyptic state
She learns that the very fears that once disabled her, when faced now hold the treasure she seeks.She understands the power of the gifts/voices she has been given and uses them to help the world
She is able to rise up into her full power and uplift humanity by integrating these disparate mental energies
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Susan A Willard’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are infinite Transformational Journeys that can be taken. Inside all stories many transformational journeys could exist.
I also learned that you don’t have to have all the answers to all the parts of the Transformational Journey to be able to define the start and end of the journey, as well as describe it enough to be of interest to others.
1. Tell us about your logline for the transformational journey.
An aged, slow-moving grandpa, and his disabled grandson, must confront their disabilities, fear, and life-threatening barriers, to find out what happened to their homeless friend who has disappeared.
2. Tell us what you see as the Old Ways.
Old Life: Grandpa and Grandson enjoy summer-time recreation activities together.
3. Tell us what you see as the New Ways.
New Life: Grandpa and Grandson enjoy all-year planning and activities of helping the less fortunate, as well as visiting good friends together.
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Mary Godwin’s Transitional Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is:
1. Whatever I write right now doesn’t have to be perfect. I understand it (the assignment) even though I’m having problems making my story fit the requested format of the logline example.
2. That the logline is the point “A” and point “B” on my map of where the story journey begins and ends. I’ll be finding the exact route as I go along in the course.
My logline:
To avoid financial destitution a woman who’s never kept a promise must (reluctantly) hold accountable those who have broken promises to her until she discovers the real answer lies in first keeping her promise to herself.
1. The issue: She’s never kept a promise to anyone in her life – especially herself. [She justifies that by saying no one ever kept a promise to her.]
2. Journey: She faces financial destitution. [She is rightfully owed much (from more than one source) but doesn’t see herself as worthy to fight for/demand it. She also considers the hypocrisy of holding someone else accountable to keep their promises when she knows she doesn’t do it herself.]
3. Transformation: By keeping her promises – beginning with the one to herself – she finds financial success as well as the love that eluded her.
Old Ways: Justifies breaking promises because all promises to her have been broken leaving her meek and insecure with little to no sense of self worth. Just wants to live Under the Radar in a career she chose out of fear.
New Ways: She’s someone who can be trusted and likes herself and what she’s become. She’s able to let go the wrongs that were done to her which frees her to do what’s she promised to do – which is to write. It also frees her to love and accept love.
** I know this assignment was supposed to be succinct but I’m having trouble with distilling it down.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by MARY Johnson.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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Roback Assignment Three – The Profound Screenplay
What I have learned: I don’t know if I am on the right track with Monroe’s character arc from beginning to end. I finished a first draft last night and the story works for me. Monroe’s tragedy is that he has gone from innocence to experience. When asked after a major legal victory if he would take the case again he says yes, but he realizes he does not like how Frank (the client) treats the major people in his life (his wife and daughter).
Even though he makes $2 million from the case, to Monroe it is a pyrrhic victory.
The transformational Journey
This is the weak link in my script.
As the story opens Monroe thinks like the cop he used to be before going to law school.
Since his clientele as a criminal lawyer are criminals he doesn’t judge people by what they are accused of. He doesn’t really care what the judge’s rational was in deciding a case, all he cares about are finding cases that work for him, that provide the precedents that will get his clients acquitted. He does not suggest to clients what they should do with their money because it is not his place to do so and he has learned that clients don’t like him making suggestions. So, as the film opens Monroe is pragmatic in dealing with people but otherwise his sense of right and wrong is black and white. His working motto is “hate the sin, not the sinner.”
At the end of the screenplay Monroe is not so magnanimous about other people’s failings. After working for four years to get Frank Donaldson what is owed to him from a ruthless, heartless and predatory insurance company, Monroe does not like the way Frank treats his wife (now ex wife) and his (stripper) daughter. He goes all out to get justice (and the money that is his due) for Frank, but at the end after a major legal victory, he does not have to associate with Frank outside of the courtroom. As he evolves from thinking like a cop to thinking like a lawyer Monroe becomes far more selective in who he will take on as a client and who he will spend his free time with.
What is the problem? The problem is that where Monroe ends in the arc of his story is where he should begin and where he begins is where he should end.
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Paulette L. Harris
What I learned doing this assignment is far more layers came out as I answered these questions and it’s exciting that I can see that I just may be able to get this story fine-tuned. I feel as if I’ve been helped a ton since starting this the other day. Things are coming together.
I do have a question though on the Logline? Are we supposed to write a name for our transformable character as well as the adversary? And, should this logline be broken into two sentences to make it clearer? I am surprised at how fast this came together for me. There are so many facets to this story.
1- LOGLINE: A narcissistic pastor must learn the truth of his profession with unbelievable tough lessons as God agrees to a year of control over a modern day church by Satan and his demons.
2-OLD WAYS: Pastor comes from a midwest old-fashioned traditional church. His father, grand-father, and great-grandfather are almost cultish in their beliefs in the church they started, making an attempt to form a new way of thinking, teaching, and preaching. Pastor believes he is in control and on the verge of making the “perfect church” as soon as he can get his latest book out on The American Marriage and How to Make it Better. All the experts say……
3-NEW WAYS: Pastor must learn and humbly that God’s ways of Marriage are far different than the experts and that there truly is Good and Evil.
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What I learned doing this assignment is don’t let the desired result dictate the journey.
Logline: An idealistic and ambitious techie at the start of his career working at a very successful and respected high tech company discovers the hypocrisy of the greedy tech industry and must stop the social injustices perpetuated by AI/ML.
- Lead character with an issue: An idealistic and ambitious techie at the start of his career
- Journey: …working at a very successful and respected high tech company discovers the hypocrisy of the greedy tech industry…
- Transformation: must stop the social injustices perpetuated by AI/ML.
Old ways: Trust that older, more experienced leaders and coworkers care about the impact of their products on people and that they have “good intent.” Trust that the industry wants to “change the world” in a positive, benevolent way. Believe that technology is benign and can’t actually hurt people.
New ways: Don’t trust the that the older, more experienced leaders and coworkers have “good intent.” Recognize that technology is a tool that can be used to promote social justice or destroy it. Take control of the technology and the people who create it by putting guardrails on the people who create and own it.
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James E. Clark(Jim)
Transformable Logline: An entitled count Adult Protective Services bureaucrat has a plan to abuse her authority and put wealthy individuals into the “system” so she can make positive impressions on her boss and get faster promotions to help pay off her Stanford student loans.
Issue: The bureaucrat thinks she’s entitled and untouchable.
Journey: She targets an ultra 85 year old wealthy widow who has all of her faculties and is well known in the community and is able to fend off the manipulations of the bureaucrat
Transformation: The widow toys with the bureacrat through the Chief of Policeand the health care system. The bureaucrat hits bottom and refers back to her childhood training and realizes she has been wrong the whole time. She begins her steps back to treating people with respect.
Old Ways: Buraeucrat is out for herself and doesn’t care who she hurts.
New Ways: Bureaucrat’s heart has tenderized and she realizes shen needs to change for the better or she will end up in prison.
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LESSON 13 – TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY – PM
Trish’s Transformational Journey
What I learned from doing this assignment is a new way of clarifying my main character(s) and thinking/organizing my script based this assignment.
LOGLINE: TRANSFORMATIONAL JOURNEY
Harald, the young brother of King Olaf, King of Norway sees his brother and his dream die violently in battle and must escape and fight to heal physically, emotionally, and spiritually until he faces challenges that mature him before he begins his journey back to Norway to become King.OLD WAYS: a) Hero worships older brother Olaf. b) Older brother living his childhood dream as King of Norway. c) Wants to be just like him. d) Too young and immature to go into battle to see Olaf’s grisly death, and nearly die himself.
e) Felt envious and resentful, feels guilty – suvivor guilt and alone. Naive but loyal untried boy warrior.NEW WAYS: Mature, clever, smart man who has fought and won many battles of different kinds, is now ready to return home to become King of Norway.
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Jen’s Transformational Journey
What I learned doing this assignment is that it is good to know the reason behind why a character might go through a change. By being aware of this, I am assuring things aren’t “happening to her” – she is making the choice.
Tell us your logline for the transformational
journey. A woman with no identity outside of her family goes on an
adventure of self-discovery and self-care to not only learn who she is,
but to become the woman she was meant to be.Tell us what you see as the Old
Ways: Takes care of her family, dropped her own life/dreams to be a wife/mother
and then care-giving daughter, does nothing for herself.Tell us what you see as the New
Ways: Has discovered who she is and what she wants, and doesn’t allow
others to dictate her life’s path -
Joanne Bellew – Transformational Journey
1. “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” How quickly a concept can be put into place when these three logline needs are separated.
2. Tell us your logline for the transformational journey.
a. A fitness influencer facing bankruptcy for addictions searches for a way to pay off her debt and find success again after she is outed as pill-popping fraud.
3. Tell us what you see as the Old Ways.
a. Shopaholic.
b. Addicted to appetite suppressants and weight loss pills.
c. Narcissistic.
d. Awful to men.
e. Narcissistic boyfriend.
f. Is awful to a social worker at the gym who genuinely cares for her.
4. Tell us what you see as the New Ways.
a. After the journey of losing the money to buy the supplements and putting on weight because she can only afford junk food, she is more invested in educating the poor.
b. Lives within her means.
c. Eats healthy food.
d. Empathetic.
e. Rejects the narcissistic boyfriend for the social worker at the gym who cares. Helps him with health education for the poor.
f. Is offered a contract from the original company, but instead takes a contract from a health food company.
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