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Lesson 6
Reply to post your assignment.
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3 Replies
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David Thompson’s Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned from doing this assignment is that this grid is very handy!
My first pass I highlighted the issues I already knew I had. I needed more …. Reasons for Megaera to act the way she does when she first confronts our hapless hero for seeing her in sequence #2.
(Oh, I go by sequences, as in “Motorcycle Chase Desert Sequence” and “Grocery store standoff” and each contains multiple wee lil’ scenes.)
I know I have an issue with WHY Gaia tracks down Dan and tries to talk to him about his dead niece, but it’s an issue I know that goes back to the 3rd draft of the original screenplay before it became a novel. And there it was, like a minor, but aggravating, virus you just can’t shake.
So, I needed to craft a scene where Gaia gets some serious foreshadowing down. She’s THE earth goddess, so she’s pretty omniscient, so it’s as if she’s orchestrating everything. But it also highlights a weakness in my story.
I’m working on that, plus some pacing issues. I decided the mystery wasn’t enough, so I had to go back and SHOW who the killer is to the reader, but it stays a mystery to the cops. Which sets up an episode 3 WTF moment when the killer shows up to talk to the cops, and is actually a FBI profiler. (DUN-DUN-DUUNN!)
Then some more mysteries implanted about why Dan sees the Fury. In Act V, I have the entire Megaera-Dan scene play out, but I’m thinking it doesn’t set up properly. I turned to the grid, and used some new open loops which won’t be resolved until Episode 2, Act 1.
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David Wickenden Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned doing this assignment?
Because of the setup creating the outline, I’m extremely excited about the draft. My frustrations is the shortness of pages. My first draft had only 41 pages. I have brainstormed to more scenes but am still only at 45. I don’t want to just add fillers or fluff, but great content that enforces the story.
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Wayne Completed P/S Grid #1
What I learned doing this assignment is, if you were comprehensively working all the parts of the process up to now, there simply won’t be many or such serious problem areas to improve. HOWEVER, you can always find ways to improve any or all the 14 issues in the index.
Tell us the problems you solved and/or the scenes you improved, and which solution you used.
Upon first reading through the index, I didn’t find any particular weaknesses other than possibly more subtext. Subtext doesn’t always present itself clearly or amply in a first draft, so I read through the current draft looking for opportunities for subtext that highlighted characteristics, subconscious needs, wants, intentions, or just innuendoes between the speakers. While doing this, I stopped after each Act to reread the other 13 attributes to see if I recognized opportunities to punch any of them up in that scene, and to keep them fresh in my mind while reading/editing the next Act.
Lo-and-behold… they were there, both small and significant.
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