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Lesson 11
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14 Replies
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Lynn’s Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that I not only need to put character traits in more and more of the dialogue and action, but also ramp up those character traits.
I’m posting this rather soon because I’m going away for a few days, so I’ll be thinking up more ways to ramp up those traits.
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ELLIE (protag in WEATHERING IT, a Rom-Com)
LOGLINE: Two college students struggle to overcome family fights about global warming, then try to get married during the worst ever Texas freeze.
CURRENT PROFILE:
– somber (from eco-despair, father abandonment)
– committed to saving the earth (and helping Great-uncle Layo on his off-grid ranch), but feels hopeless
– doesn’t want to hurt others (or be hurt)
– thinks she has and anger problem and fears it
– avoids romantic involvement
– unsure of herself
SUBTEXT: Ellie is striving to avoid relationships in order fulfill her commitment to helping the uncle on his off-grid ranch so she can help save the earth.
REVISED PROFILE:
– somber (from eco-despair, father abandonment)
– suffers panic attacks from loud cacophonous noise (crashing, smashing, clattering)
– committed to saving the earth (and helping Great-uncle Layo on his off-grid ranch), but feels hopeless
……………..(she actually wants to hide from the world, be a hermit like him)
– doesn’t want to hurt others (or be hurt), or turn people off from eco-actions
– but has an anger and sassy problem
– avoids romantic involvement, pent up desires
– apostate – angry that religion is eco-hypocritical, promoting empty messages of hope and joy (her Uncle Rudy is a pastor and Jim a congregant)
SUBTEXT: Ellie is striving to avoid relationships against her pent up DESIRE in order to hide from the world on her uncle’s ranch, contrary to her goal of helping to save the earth.
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JIM (protag in WEATHERING IT, a Rom-Com)
CURRENT PROFILE:
– playful & a joker
– dislikes his obligation to work at his uncle’s oil engineering consultancy
….. but loves his mother & won’t disappoint her
– prides himself on his prowess with women
– joker
– intelligent, well educated in engineering
– churchgoer (at insistence of his mother)
SUBTEXT: Jim is having fun before he has to go work for his uncle, but falls seriously in love with Ellie and has to finesse her again and again to get her.
REVISED PROFILE:
– playful and a joker, covering a deep sorrow for losing his father
– hates his obligation to work at his uncle’s oil engineering consultancy
….. but loves his mother & won’t disappoint her
– concerned about his friends, wants to help them
– intelligent, well educated in engineering
– churchgoer (at insistence of his mother)
– past girlfriends, never really fell in love
– sincere
– suicidal (will only come out in one scene)
– seems up and positive… then later falls into despair (as Ellie buds hope)
SUBTEXT: Jim is having fun, joking around, covering his father loss and dreaded obligation to work for his uncle, but Ellie, for whom he falls hard, introduces him to serious issues that puts him in a tailspin from happy-go-lucky to eco-despair.
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ISHI (protag in THE VENUSIAN CHRONICLES, a sci-fi)
LOGLINE: When the discovery of a spaceship wreck on the Moon strikes people with fear of invasion, a meek Venusian professor must reveal his true identity to stop vigilante attacks on innocent people and steer Earth away from the fate that ended life on Venus.
CURRENT PROFILE:
– He’s a descendant of Venusians who came to Earth 6 million years ago, passing as human
– timid and afraid of outing himself, which would also out his 94-year-old grandmother (they are the last surviving Venusians)
– concerned about his grandmother and others, including his research assistant, Julie
– wants to help save the earth from climate catastrophe, as happened on Venus
– intelligent, well educated, a linguist with artistic talent
SUBTEXT: Ishi is dithering about publishing his works which will out him and his grandmother, and perhaps put Julie off.
REVISED PROFILE:
– He’s a descendant of Venusians who came to Earth 6 million years ago, passing as human
– wants to help save the earth from climate catastrophe, as happened on Venus
– but won’t publish his 500-page monograph (explaining what happened on Venus and their history on earth) that could help that goal, because it would out his 94-year-old grandmother (they are the last surviving Venusians) and likely put her life at risk
– concerned about his grandmother and others, including his research assistant, Julie
– loves Julie, but figures he could never marry (he’s phenotypically like a human, but genotypically quite different) and SUFFERS from that unfulfilled love (she also loves him and he has to put her off).
– intelligent, well educated, a linguist with artistic talent
– HATES bigoted/sexist bullies, like Dean Olin, but fears losing his professorship and having to move his elderly grandmother.
– subtext SASSY
– on the horns of so many dilemmas until “Space Alien Vigilantes” (like scared, racist militia guys) start killing innocent people they think are space aliens; that forces him to act, and he does ACT!
SUBTEXT: Ishi thought of living a hidden life, but that blew up with the Venusian spaceship discovery and scared vigilantes killing people they think are Venusians; Ishi takes responsibility and control of his life to stop that and inform people of the grave harms from climate change, which destroyed all of life on Venus.
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Ellie hates people and herself?
Jim’s a follower not a leader and reflects the opinion of the last person he spoke to?
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Jack’s Full Out Characters
What I learned from this assignment is that I have to rewrite every screenplay I’ve written
From The Screenplay THE REASON WHY
Logline: When a city-girl D.C. lawyer receives the waterfront condo of the judge she worked for in his will, she visits the property to find out she’s his daughter and has a country boy half brother. Together they must save it’s destruction by a corrupt senator who wants the property to be a Coast Guard Station so his major contributor can get his mega yacht through the presently unnavigable, narrow winding inlet channel.
1. Sara (30) – Protagonist,
BEFORE TRAITS – Lawyer, bookworm, never had a father, unsure of herself, never been out of the city – never has known country folk
AFTER TRAITS – Self reliant, Suspicious, doesn’t trust men, confident
MAIN SUBTEXT – She discovers the judge she worked for was her father and her life was never as it seemed
2. Vicky (late 40’s) – Mother of Lead Character Sara
BEFORE TRAITS – Insurance agent, avoids risk, never been out of D.C., uses big words to try to show she’s smarter than she is to keep up with her daughter, a lawyer
AFTER TRAITS – Car Salesman, always telling jokes, tries to show confidence but actually afraid of change, conniving, clever
SUBTEXT – She had been lying to her daughter her entire life about who her father was
3. Thatcher (28) – Protagonist
BEFORE TRAITS – Good old boy fisherman who didn’t want to be a lawyer like his father, the Judge Sara worked for. He works in a Maritime Museum building historic wooden boats
AFTER TRAITS – Fisherman who is on probation for battery in a bar fight
SUBTEXT – He doesn’t know how to handle women
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What was Sara and Vickie’s relationship before and after the discovery? How do both women regard Thatcher?
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Lesson 11—Creative Mastery
Jo’s Full-Out Characters
What I’ve Learned: Opposing character traits automatically puts the characters into conflict with one another. This adds interest to the story.
Logline: Three women living in a posh retirement center highjack a Schwans truck that takes them from incarceration in the county jail, to the mental institution then to a nursing home where they uncover fraud and patient abuse.
BEFORE Character Profiles:
Character # 1: GRACE
Description: A spry 76 year old retired corporate executive who dresses for comfort but lives for adventure.
Core Traits: bossy, negative, political, problem solver
Main Subtext: Hides her wealth.
Character # 2: MADELINE
Description: A well preserved 70 year old retired Registered Nurse living in a posh retirement center in North Dakota, believes make-up and fashion are the main necessities of life.
Core Traits: spendthrift, seductive, protective, holds a grudge
Main Subtext: Madeline is a hypochondriac. She loves her things and flaunts them.
Character #3: IRIS
Description: A 65 year old throw back from the hippie era and is a trust fund kid who lives in a posh retirement center in North Dakota.
Core Traits: philanthropic, artistic, virginal, dreamer
Main Subtext: Iris is the eternal good girl.
AFTER Character Profiles:
Character #1: GRACE
Description: A spry, slightly overweight, 76 year old retired corporate oil executive living in a posh retirement center in North Dakota, dresses for comfort, but lives for adventure.
Core Traits: miserly, strong-willed, leader, adventurous
Main Subtext: Grace, reared in poverty, now independently wealthy, pretends she’s not rich for fear someone will take her money away. Anything a man can do, Grace can do it better.
Character #2: MADELINE
Description: A well preserved 70 year old retired Registered Nurse living in a posh retirement center in North Dakota, believes make-up and fashion solves all problems and lives to impress others.
Core Traits: spendthrift, seductive, protective, judgmental
Main Subtext: Madeline is a hypochondriac who is afraid to die. She convinces others that she is richer than she really is by flaunting her material possessions.
Character #3: IRIS
Description: A 65 year old throwback from the hippie era, Iris has never held a job in her life, lives off her deceased mother’s platitudes and a never ending trust fund. She lives in a posh retirement center in North Dakota with her friends, Grace and Madeline, and is along for the ride.
Core Traits: philanthropic, artistic, dreamer, gullible
Main Subtext: Iris is the eternal good girl who never initiates trouble, but often finds it through the actions of others.
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Grace – rich elderly alcoholic and vulnerable to being preyed on.
Iris – acts rich but it’s all gone so she’s reduced to selling off her possessions?
Madeline – running out off money and needs a victim?
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Title: (Alfred Dunham) Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is…
1. It appears that I have not fully understood Essence, Traits, Subtext, and Character Arc; and how they fit together. It’s an easy thing to jot down a list of four character traits, but do they really fit the Character, or much more to the point, mesh together. While Change Characters change, and Steadfast Characters do not change, in truth, all characters have Character Arcs that show change. It depends on how we define Change and Steadfast. Change implies a change in the Character’s “character,” but there are changes in both Change and Steadfast Characters that refer to changes in perspective, knowledge, and/or understanding, not “character.”
2. Somehow, it seems to me, we need to incorporate the trait changes from before and after, because the subtext is demanding it. And that’s not always easy to do. Jake (below) has to reflect both the traits that guided him into medicine and their shift to their current state (something I have not been doing). Jake is authoritative. He sets rules, but he has come to regret some of those “rules.” Bubba was a smart-ass know-it-all, but life has backed him into a corner, and he’s become a self-centered loner (a jerk), as he continues to try and justify himself.
3. I’ve changed each character’s traits several times, and I’m still not sure I got them right. As I write, better terms pop up that feel better. For example, Jake’s trait of Dominant was Changed to Authoritative. That leaves more room, as I see it, for him to be willing to “listen” to other points of view. For Raisa, I changed Angry to Seething as she keeps her anger under control most of the time. And so forth—
4. Furthermore, I tried to make sure these changes were keyed with their subtexts.
5. I think I’m becoming more sensitive to these connections. [I hope]
Profile Set 1
Subjective Main Character [also the Objective Protagonist Character]
Joseph (Jake) Dunsmore, (68).
Traits: Ethical, Caring, Pensive, Authoritative
Subtext: Jake gave up much to reach his goal of becoming a doctor, and now he wonders if he gave up too much.
Essence: Jake’s consuming loneliness.
Logline: An aging doctor yearns for the close human companionship he’s grown to love, but his wife is dead; now and now, the world also seems monotonously dead.
Subjective Conflict (Influence/Impact) Character [also the Objective Guardian Character]
Raisa Galkin, (49).
Traits: Cheerful, Submissive, Self-loathing, Angry
Subtext: Raisa is a Russian immigrant who does not want to be swen3t back, so she reluctantly puts up with the abuse.
Essence: Raisa’s “hope button” is pushed.
Logline: An abused and weary waitress meets a customer who instills a new sense of hope and self-respect in her, even as her boss seeks to keep her in line.
Objective Antagonist Character
Ian (Bubba) McBride, III, (55).
Traits: Arrogant, Critical, Loner, Self-centered
Subtext: Bubba’s youth has caught up with him, and he is forced to face the truth.
Essence: Self.
Logline: An aging know-it-all has become a consummate loser.
Profile Set 2
Subjective Main [also the Objective Protagonist] Character [the “Luke Skywalker-like Character”]
Joseph (Jake) Dunsmore, (68).
Jake’s Function is to Consider and to Pursue the Story Goal.
Traits: Ethical, Caring, Penitent, Authoritative
Subtext: Jake gave up much to reach his goal of becoming a doctor, and now he wonders if he gave up too much.
Essence: Jake’s consuming grief and loneliness are destroying him.
Logline: An aging doctor yearns for the close human companionship he’s grown to love, but his wife is dead, and the world has come to seem monotonous and dead, too.
Subjective Conflict (Influence/Impact) [also the Objective Guardian] Character [the “Obi-Wan Kenobi-like” Character.]
Raisa Galkin, (49).
Raisa’s Function is to Deliver on Conscience and to Help Jake reach the Story Goal.
Traits: Gregarious, Submissive, Fearful, Seething
Subtext: Raisa grew up in Russia, and tried to mind her own business until her husband was killed. She then became a seething malcontent and barely escaped to America.
Essence: Raisa’s hope for a better life is renewed.
Logline: An abused and weary waitress meets a customer who instills a new sense of hope and self-respect in her, even as her boss seeks to keep her in line.
Objective Antagonist Character [the “Sith-like” Character] from the Over All Objective Story.
Ian (Bubba) McBride, III, (55).
Bubba’s Function is to Reconsider the Story Goal and to Prevent Jake from reaching his.
Traits: Arrogant, Critical, Loner, Self-centered
Subtext: Bubba is a high school dropout who thought he was king of the hill, but life has proven otherwise, driving him into an unfilled corner of disillusionment and paranoia.
Essence: Bubba can’t seem to get past his misguided sense of self-importance.
Logline: An arrogant young man takes on life and discovers he’s become, instead, a loser.
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BRENDA BODDY – FULL OUT CHARACTERS
What I learned: I had started rounding out my characters, but they didn’t have enough traits to make them real yet. Thinking about both positives and negatives in them, helped me see the possibilities in their actions.
1). Change agent: MASON (and the modern world). Guides Justice in his new world.
Charasmatic (Confident, enthusiastic, optimistic, expressive, and passionate)
Loyal
Rule follower, by the book
2). Transformable Character: JUSTICE
Old-fashioned (Respect, honesty, loyalty, modesty, and family. Protective of women, children, and animals)
Easy going
3). Oppression: CUERVO: Head of Mexican Cartel
Ruthless
Corrupt
Self-serving
Family oriented.
4). Betraying Character: Samantha
Timid
No self-esteem
5). Kenzie:
Protective
Angry
BELOW ARE THE NEW CHARACTER TRAITS:
1). Change agent: MASON (and the modern world). Guides Justice in his new world. Extreme person: Two normal traits and two extreme traits.
Subtext: Mason is concerned with being accepted and viewed well by others.
Extreme trait: Charasmatic (Confident, enthusiastic, optimistic, expressive, and passionate)
Normal trait: Adventurous and thrill seeking, always looking for new challenges.
Normal trait: Rule follower, by the book
Extreme trait: Womanizer
2). Transformable Character: JUSTICE: Protagonist. One extreme good trait, two normal traits, one bad guy trait.
Subtext: Justice is guarded with his emotions due to losing his wife and his actions are focused on protecting his family at whatever cost.
Extreme good trait: Old-fashioned (Respect, honesty, loyalty, modesty, and family. Protective of women, children, and animals)
Normal trait: Rebellious and defiant, often breaking the rules or disobeying orders that he disagrees with or that limit his freedom.
Normal trait: Confident and ambitious, striving to be the best at what he does and not backing down from any obstacle.
Normal trait: Impulsive and reckless, acting on his instincts and emotions without thinking of the consequences or risks.
Normal trait: Arrogant and cocky. Sometimes overestimating his abilities or underestimating his opponents.
Normal trait: Stubborn and prideful, rarely admitting his mistakes or weaknesses or asking for help.
Normal trait: Emotionally guarded due to past lost.
Extreme bad trait: Vengeful
3). Oppression: CUERVO: Head of Mexican Cartel: Bad Guy: Two extreme bad traits, one trait similar to good guys, one positive trait.
Extreme trait: Ruthless
Extreme trait: Corrupt
Similar trait: Vengeful
Positive trait: Family oriented.
4). Betraying Character: Samantha Regular person: Three familiar traits and one extreme trait.
Familiar trait: Protective
Familiar trait: Timid
Familiar trait: Loyal
Extreme trait: Self-harm
5). Kenzie: Regular person: Three familiar traits and one extreme trait.
Extreme trait: Protective
Regular trait: Angry
Regular trait: Oppressed
Regular trait: Brave
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Jerry Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is taking time to understand and flesh out the characters will improve my dialogue and help me explore sides of their character that are new to me.
————–BEGIN PROFILE DOCTOR JACKSON———————-
DESCRIPTION: DOCTOR JACKSON is a popular local physician whose curiosity has led him into some dark area..
TRAITS #1: Genial, ambitious, curious, sociable.
TRAITS #2: Ambitious, calculating, ruthless, manipulative.SUBTEXT #1: The Doctor is abusing his position to probe the boundary between life and death.
SUBTEXT #2: The Doctor is using his position to experiment with the babies born out off wedlock in the village.————–BEGIN PROFILE MRS. MIGGINS———————-
DESCRIPTION: MRS. MIGGINS is the kindly cook and long time servant of the Doctor’s. She has assisted him in some activities that are best left unsaid.
TRAITS #1: Motherly, honest, jealous, resentful.
TRAITS #2: False, hate-filled, possessive, jealous.SUBTEXT #1: The Cook loves the Doctor and feels she is owed more consideration for helping him in his research.
SUBTEXT #2: The Cook has risked her soul helping the Doctor and now he brings a slut of a girl into the house.————–BEGIN PROFILE DOCTOR EMMA———————-
DESCRIPTION: EMMA is a young widow who, together with her son, arrive in the village alone and friendless.
TRAITS #1: Naive, hopeful, vulnerable, frightened.
TRAITS #2: Foolish, snobbish, plotting, frightened.SUBTEXT #1: Emma has convinced herself that she, Charlie, and the Doctor will become one happy family.
SUBTEXT #2: Emma sees herself as Mistress of the house and she lets everybody know it.————–END PROFILE————————
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Yanni’s Full-out Characters:
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is how to better focus my character traits and use them to create more interesting internal character dynamics that complement one another and serve the true purpose of the story. The key is leaning into finding and embracing the extremes and enhancing them with an unexpected subtext that originates from within their fatal flaw.
THEO
BEFORE DESCRIPTION: A brilliant artist is unable to survive in a world driven by production.
BEFORE TRAITS: Creative, Intelligent, Loner, Insecure
BEFORE SUBTEXT: Theo is overweight and suffers from bulimia.
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AFTER DESCRIPTION: Theo cannot support himself financially, despite his artistic brilliance.
AFTER TRAITS: Idealistic, Creative, Hard-Working, Coward
AFTER SUBTEXT: Every time Theo gets a “normie” job, he self-sabotages because he’s afraid to abandon his artistic talent for capitalist ideals.
AVI
BEFORE DESCRIPTION: Avi is an out-and-proud gay man who harbors guilt about his sexuality.
BEFORE TRAITS: Protective, Resentful, Witty, Judgmental
BEFORE SUBTEXT: Avi hasn’t forgiven his family, nor does he intend to. It’s his blind spot.
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AFTER DESCRIPTION: Avi is an out-and-proud gay man who resents his insular, religious upbringing.
AFTER TRAITS: Extremely Protective, Extremely Resentful, Witty, Independent
AFTER SUBTEXT: Avi hasn’t forgiven his family for kicking him out, but is forced to spend time with them again while mourning his mother’s death.
LEVI
BEFORE DESCRIPTION: Levi is a messy bitch who can’t get out of his own way.
BEFORE TRAITS: Playful, Selfish, Unmotivated, Rebellious
BEFORE SUBTEXT: Levi is trying to hide the trauma of his sexual assault.
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AFTER DESCRIPTION: When he feels wronged, Levi becomes an emotional terrorist hell bent on gaining the upper hand.
AFTER TRAITS: Loyal, Intelligent, Justice-oriented, Destructive
AFTER SUBTEXT: Levi suffers from unresolved trauma from childhood sexual abuse that he hides from everyone, especially those closest to him.
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David’s Full-Out Characters
What I learned from this assignment is the value of pushing characters’ traits to the extremes to create more drama.
EMILY:
DESCIPTION: A timid, middle-aged secretary goes back to school and starts a sorority
TRAITS: Timid, doting, low self-esteem, nostalgic
SUBTEXT: She has ambition, but it’s been tamped down over the years raising a duaghter and supporting her husband
NEW PROFILE: Add spiteful/vengeful to Emily’s core traits. Perhaps cunning/manipulative as her subtext.
DEAN ANDREWS:
DESCRIPTION: Strict, haughty dean of the college who values education over God Herself
TRAITS: Haughty, intellectual, stubborn, vengeful
SUBTEXT: He actually cares about people/students and pushes them to help them succeed
NEW PROFILE: Secretive/hyprocritcal as a trait. Though he preaches morality, he attends a secret sex club out of town, which will eventually be exposed.
CHRISTOPHER
DESCRIPTION: A charmingly sweet professor who takes over Steve’s job and teaches Emily
PROFILE: Charming, self-effacing, smart, loner
SUBTEXT: He plays the shy, homely professor but dates a lot of women
NEW PROFILE: Add predator to his profile, make his likeability a front to his aggressive nature with women.
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Beth Zurkowski Full out characters
I’m using the script The Shade Riders and the Dreadful Ghosts. It’s a horror/ fantasy.
What I learned is I write very good characters.
Benny (11) (before)
traits: Negative, Problem solver, Aggressive, Nerd
Benny (after)
traits: sense of humor, positive, shy, athlete
Subtext: Benny loves life and the way things are going. He would love a girl friend but he’s too shy.
Nova (11) (Before)
traits: Playful, Adventurous, experimental, humor
Nova (after)
traits: Confident , optimistic, loyalty, modest
Subtext: Nova is confident she can be the best leader for The Shade Riders.
Takeesha (11) (before)
traits: scared of heights, confident, Intelligent, adventurous
Takeesha (after)
traits: Clingy, shy, average, enthusiastic
Subtext: Takeesha is always hanging around with
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Title: Brian G. Walsh’s Full-out Characters
What I’ve learned that is improving my writing is that fleshing-out the characters before beginning to write will make them more appropriate for the story.
CURRENT PROFILE: Marie DuClaire
DESCRIPTION: Marie is a strong, independent woman who is passionate about her work. She is determined to succeed, and she is not afraid to stand up for what she believes in.
TRAITS: Intelligent, Ambitious, Courageous, Compassionate
SUBTEXT: Marie is a workaholic who is struggling to balance her career with her personal life. She is also dealing with the trauma of a previous case, which has left her feeling haunted and afraid.
CURRENT PROFILE: Dr. James Smithers
DESCRIPTION: Dr. Smithers is a brilliant psychiatrist who is also a sociopath. He is manipulative and cunning, and he uses his skills to get what he wants. He is also a serial killer, and he gets a thrill from killing his victims.
TRAITS: Brilliant, Manipulative, Cunning, Sociopathic, Thrill-seeker
SUBTEXT: Dr. Smithers is a master manipulator who is able to control and exploit others. He is also a sociopath who lacks empathy and remorse.
CURRENT PROFILE: Retired Homicide Detective Bill Ryan
DESCRIPTION:
Mr. Ryan is a retired police detective who is now a private investigator. He is a wise and experienced investigator, and he is willing to help Maria with her case.
TRAITS: Wise, Experienced, Willing to help, Trustworthy, Loyal
SUBTEXT: Mr. Ryan is a wise and experienced man who has seen it all. He is also a bit of a cynic, and he doesn’t believe in the goodness of people.
REVISED PROFILE: Marie DuClaire
DESCRIPTION: A young homicide detective, Marie is a strong, independent woman who is passionate about her work. She is determined to succeed, and she is not afraid to stand up for what she believes in. She is haunted by the murder of her twin sister, who tried to tell her something but died before she could finish. Not allowed to work on her sister’s murder officially due to the conflict of interest, Marie works on that case whenever she has free time.
TRAITS: Intelligent, Ambitious, Courageous, Compassionate, Vengeful
SUBTEXT: Marie is a workaholic who is struggling to balance her career with her personal life. She is also dealing with the trauma of a previous case, which has left her feeling haunted and afraid. She is hell-bent on finding out who killed her twin and will break any law to accomplish that. She has no intention of arresting the killer. She intends to murder him.
REVISED PROFILE: Dr. James Smithers
DESCRIPTION: Dr. Smithers is a brilliant psychiatrist who is also a sociopath. He is manipulative and cunning, and he uses his skills to get what he wants. He is also a serial killer, and he gets a thrill from killing his victims.
TRAITS: Brilliant, Manipulative, Cunning, Sociopathic, Thrill-seeker
SUBTEXT: Dr. Smithers is a master manipulator who is able to control and exploit others. He is also a sociopath who lacks empathy and remorse.
REVISED PROFILE: Retired Homicide Detective Bill Ryan
DESCRIPTION:
Mr. Ryan is a retired police detective who is now a private investigator. He is a wise and experienced investigator, and he is willing to help Maria with her case. He vowed never to get involved with police matters after he retired, but he goes out of his way to offer help to Marie because the murder victim was her sister.
TRAITS: Wise, Experienced, Trustworthy, Loyal, Secretive, a Loner
SUBTEXT: Mr. Ryan is a wise and experienced man who has seen it all. He is also a bit of a cynic, and he doesn’t believe in the goodness of people. He is self-deprecating despite his impressive record and won’t talk about his personal life. His big secret is that he is the biological father of Marie and her sister.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Brian Walsh.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by
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Anna’s Full-Out Characters
What I learned improving my writing: since the different groups of bad guys who’ve been plaguing different storylines have all come together in Season 5 to work directly for the central villain, it was time to revise their character traits for more interesting betrayals.
My script: SOTG: Archangel (Season 5)
Asmodeus: upon the death of Ba’al Zebub, this traitorous general sees an opportunity to be the #1 guy for the biggest badass on the block – Moloch.
- Original Traits: cynical, ruthless, self-disciplined, violent
- Revised Traits: macho, controlling, self-disciplined, violent
- Subtext: disgruntled because his emperor promoted his childhood rival to lead the armada to secure Earth (for good reason, Shay’tan doesn’t trust him), Asmodeus seized the opportunity to kill the admiral and seize Earth for a different god.
Zahid: not content with betraying his father, Moloch’s new boy-toy seeks to curry a permanent relationship with his powerful lover by sacrificing his sister and niece, but Moloch has other plans.
- Original Traits: fanatical, ruthless, pretentious, insecure
- Revised Traits: fanatical, ruthless, impulsive, insecure
- Subtext: Zahid hates his half-sister and her infant because her mother usurped his own mother’s position in the tribe, but Moloch, who he so desperately wants to please, appears to be more interested in Aturdokht’s relationship with his former lover.
Zepar: secure in his long-running position as Moloch’s most trusted henchman, Zepar views with amusement Asmodeus’ and Zahid’s machinations to usurp his place, but there’s something elase eating away at his boss – a longing to reclaim a lover who betrayed him – and the key to luring back that lover is Aturdokht, Zahid’s half-sister – something Zepar must prevent at all costs.
- Original Traits: cynical, manipulative, obsequious, judgmental
- Revised Traits: cynical, manipulative, meticulous, discreet
- Subtext: Zepar was there in the beginning, when Moloch devoured his own children; he was there to pick Moloch back up when Ki defeated him, or each time the Dark Lord thwarted one of their plans; and he’s here right now, when Moloch is so close to reconstituting his physical form and casting off the need to work through mortal vessels. But lately, Moloch seems more interested in the whereabouts of his unfaithful former lover than he is in executing their final plan.
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