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Lesson 3
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ASSIGNMENT 3: GENRE
What I learned doing this assignment: As I read through my outline with each element of the Drama genre in mind, I think it’s all there. Am I lost in deaf/blind ego? Need a critical dramaturg to wake me?
Title: SAM’S RABBLE
Current Logline: When his friend Captain Daniel Shays leads armed veterans and farmers to close the courts so no more neighbors can be thrown unjustly into debtors’ prison, Sam Adams hears calls from frightened citizens for an American monarchy to control the mob-o-cracy, he understands the rebels’ despair but he must crush the rebellion to save the self-governing democracy he risked his life to win.
CONCEPT: Two friends, Sam Adams and Captain Daniel Shays, celebrate victory in their war for independence from the British Empire, but within a few years they are ready to kill each other. both sure they are saving democracy from the other. Their battle begins when Dan leads an armed rebellion in the new nation of Massachusetts that :
· drives Sam Adams, man of the people, to send out the army of the nation of Massachusetts out to shoot or arrest and hang his friends in order to silence calls for an American aristocracy, maybe monarchy, to control the mob-cracy and to stop the other 12 nations from invading Massachusetts to crush Shays’ rebellion,
· challenges Sam to do to Shays what he said he would do if even his own son took up arms against the people’s elected government: hang him with his own hands, and
· terrifies all 13 new American nation states into uniting under one Constitution that didn’t dare mention the rights that both Sam and Daniel risked their lives to win – rights that had to be tacked on at the end a few years later.
Genre: DRAMA
Elements of Drama (Copyright 2017, Hal Croasmun. All rights reserved. http://ScreenwritingU.com) in SAM’S RABBLE:
PURPOSE: To explore stories with emotional and interpersonal high stakes for their characters: Sam and Dan risked their lives for democracy but only a few years after winning the war for independence, both suddenly think the other is destroying that democracy.
CHARACTER-DRIVEN JOURNEY: We always need to care about the characters in a Drama, and their internal journey drives the film’s events and progression: We like both Sam and Dan and understand the valid goals, fears and motivations of both friends and the reasons why they have turned against each other.
HIGH STAKES COME FROM WITHIN: Whether the story’s events are relatively mundane or intense, the struggles, obstacles, and stakes comes from within the characters more than from external pressures: Sam and Dan are each sure that their actions are justified and the only way to save their democracy
EMOTIONALLY RESONATES: Drama audiences want to feel and be moved by the characters’ emotions and how they experience the events: Because audiences understand each friend’s valid motivations, we identify with protag and antag, grieving for their inability to listen and see each other’s perspective to find compassionate solutions.
CHALLENGING, EMOTIONALLY-CHARGED SITUATIONS: Characters get challenged to their core by the emotional situations and struggles that they run into: Sam is saving his life work to create a democracy from calls for monarch – every other nation has one; Dan is saving his neighbors; each is ready to kill the other.
REAL-LIFE SITUATIONS: Drama stories are grounded in reality: This is the real story of Shays Rebellion, not the one glorified by home-grown terrorist Timothy McVeigh and by extremist groups that attached the Capitol on Jan 6 ‘21
OUTLINE OF STAGE PLAY (THIS IS NOT A FILMSCRIPT)
Structure Beats – You want your structure points to be strong and as obvious as you can make them. That way, the audience will feel them and experience the purpose of each point. Make them strong!
SU Structure Act 1:
Opening: Engaging opening, lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode?
IN STAGE PLAY – ACT I 1791-1786
(In paren, after Slug, I’ve put the state play’s scene *2 and titles in paren)
Opening –Engages, lures us into the story, lead character is clearly living in a pre-transformational mode:
1. OPENING. AUDIENCE AREA. CURRENT TIME (Curtain Raiser, Current Time) Actor playing Dan rushes out to warn audience the play is biased against today’s patriots, but blocked by actor playing Sam who shows Timothy McVeigh’s t-shirt that glorifies Shays Rebellion. Rachel, actress playing the widow Mrs. Havens insists they start the play.
[If I turn this into a filmscript: EXT. LOT OF MOVIE SET. CURRENT TIME: Actors Dan then Sam grab the camera on the lot, make their case]
2. EXT. HAVENS INN. COVERED WAGON. DAY (Prologue – Settlers Moving West. 1795) Outside ramshackle tavern – owner’s widow, worn down by seeing too much killing in the war, recognizes the drunk guarding an Native American tied by neck to a wagon wheel as Captain Daniel Shays and seductively tries to get him to let the captive escape. Shays does – and settlers chase off after the Indian shooting.
Inciting Incident – Invites and propels us into the journey:
3. EXT. HILL OVERLOOKING HAVENS INN. DAY (I.1 Leaders and Fighters1781) Sam Adams ignores warnings by African American Colonel George Middleton that to become a leader of the newly independent nation of Massachusetts Bay, Sam must act like a leader of the new government not hang out with low level people like his friends in former Boston mobs. Sam cons Middleton into thinking he agrees, then sneaks off to join the people to celebrate the end of the few ruling the millions – now the people will rule themselves through their elected representatives.
Additional Scene:
4. EXT. HAVENS INN. TROOPS GATHERED. DAY (I.2 Victory Celebrations 1781) Tavern is a little less ramshackle than in second scene. Covered wagon is no longer covered – holds supplies, army weapons. Sam and Captain Daniel Shays celebrate their victory against the British empire with Shays’ regiment of white and black soldiers and camp-followers, including the former mob leaders of Boston Henry Swift and Ebeneezer Mackintosh. As the soldiers argue over who will now become rich, maybe even help create an American nobility, Sam shocks them, saying there will be no Lords and Ladies. No King or Queen. No Tyrants telling us what to do. He promises that each of the 13 new independent nations will be a self-governing democracy with equal voting rights regardless of wealth (and laughter that New Jersey will even let women vote.) African American Private Moses Sash starts to say he is free and will vote then stops himself, unsure. Sam reassures him. Massachusetts freed slaves and he fought in the war so he should vote.
Turning Point 1- Twist that locks us into the journey with no going back:
5. INT. CANDLE-LIT ELEGANT PARLOR. EVENING (1.3 The Society 1781) Tory widow tries to get John Hancock to join a group that wants to set up an American nobility. Every civilized country has one. Maybe a king. Sam Adams interrupts the “seduction” just as Hancock starts to try on the crown. Sam determined to get rid of all longing for Americans’ own nobility, royalty and Lords and Ladies being better than others.
SU Structure Act 2:
New Plan – Protag creates new plan did the protagonist to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point – and in same scene –
6. EXT. MONTAGE. FARMS, BOARDING HOUSE. DAY. (1.4 Homecomings 1781) Joy and fears of soldiers and camp-followers returning home. Sam meets some of them, welcoming, reminding them they are free from monarchy, aristocracies – not going to recreate them in the new nation of Massachusetts.
Plan in action – The protagonist takes action on that plan:
7. EXT. ELECTION DAY. OUTSIDE WORCESTER COUNTY COURTHOUSE. DAY (I.5 Election Day 1782?) Veteran, former South End mob leader Ebeneezer MacKintosh, swindles Daniel Shays and his wife out of their army pay in his get rich quick scheme. Despite warnings from an old farmer who has a letter from Sam Adams warning of people’s weakness for baubles and their desire to be better than others, Shays and his wife fall for it because Daniel has joined the Order of the Cincinnati, a group preparing to set up a nobility starting with Continental Army officers.
8. EXT. OUTSIDE GREEN DRAGON TAVERN. DAY (I.6 Shots in the City 1783) Henry Swift, Boston dockworker and former North End mob leader is in debt, angry. Jealous, he takes out his anger – and contempt – first on Dan Shays, a farmer selling his specially of African American Colonel and Native American who have jobs “when white men don’t”. Sam Adams shames him.
Midpoint Turning Point 2: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?
9. EXT. OUTSIDE WORCESTER COUNTY COURTHOUSE. DAY. (I.7 Shouts in the Country 1784) Sam Adams asks people in Daniel Shays’ County to be patient and not join armed mobs in other counties that are forcing judges to close courts so judges cannot any more neighbors into debtors prison. Sam is shaken – and shamed – by the angry reactions to him. He is shocked by the loss of people’s trust in him as “man of the people” who forged the new self-governing democracy.
SU Structure Act 3:
React/Rethink: After experiencing the rage from the people, Sam realizes he may be a new leader but he is loing the power he had over people before the war. He becomes defensive.
10. INT. GOVERNOR HANCOCK’S OFFICE. DAY (I.8 Mob-o-cracy, 1784) The Tory Widow shames Sam Adams for thinking the people can govern themselves. Court closings by armed mobs are proof, laughing at farmer Job Shattuck claiming to be a General.
New Plan – Protag creates plan to deal with this new level of conflict:
11. INT. THE SHAYS’ KITCHEN. NIGHT.(I.9. Peaceful Protests, 1785) Shays has received a messenger from Sam Adams, saying Sam has lost trust so it is up to Shays to make sure people in Worcester County refuses violence wants to wait for the vote. He and his wife hogtie a rebel, Job Shattuck, who wants Shays to mobilize veterans in his county to join court closings there and in other counties.
12. INT. SAM AND BETSY’S KITCHEN. DAY. (I.10 The Captive, 1786)A veteran, Job Shattuck, who has led his make-shift army to take over a town’s green, is seriously wounded and arrested, in pain. Sam tries to help him, get him to name British infiltrators who manipulated him into taking up arms against their elected government – but Shattuck is furious at Sam and blames him for not helping the people immediately, scoffing at Sam’s need for his time and patience. Sam is devastated as Shattuck is taken off to prison.
Turning Point 3: The lowest of the low. The protag has been brought to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way. This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.
13. INT. SAM AND BETSY’S BEDROOM. DAWN. (II.1. Decision. 1787) Every court closing triggers more calls for a nobility, maybe an American King – every other nation has one. The 12 other nations are planning to meet in Philadelphia to invade Massachusetts to stop the rebellion so it doesn’t spread to across borders. Sam decides to call out the army of his nation.
Additional Scene:
14. INT. THE SHAYS’ KITCHEN. NIGHT. (II.2. Preparing for War…Again, 1787Shays prepares himself and his closest friends to stop the Massachusetts army from hunting down rebels. He appoints African-American veteran as Captain. They plan escape routes for themselves and Shays’ wife just in case they cannot stop the army.
IN STAGE PLAY – ACT I1; 1781-1786; 1795
Option During Intermission, depending on director’s decision: Quick banter between actors playing Dan and Sam as in Curtain Raiser at the beginning
SU Structure Act 4:
Protag’s reaction to TP 3:
15. INT. HANCOCK’S BEDROOM. DAY. (II.4. Amnesty? 1787) The army is clearing rebels out of every farm town and hollow. Some shot dead. And the nations are in Philadelphia but neither Hancock nor Sam Adams, delegates to the convention 10 years earlier that created the Declaration of Independence, have not been elected as representatives. Hancock, Governor, but in debt himself and ill, wants to stop the rebellion, give amnesty to all the arrested insurgents and let the ones in hiding in Vermont – but Sam Adams refuses. They rebelled against the people’s own elected democracy – no mercy.
16. EXT. HAVENS INN. DAY. (II.3 Blood on the Snow. 1787) The war is going badly for the rebels. Shays’ wife, escaping with her life, meets up with North End mob leader/veteran and his woman who will help her escape to exile in Vermont.
(+) Crisis:
17. INT. SAM AND BETSY’S KITCHEN. DAWN. (II.5 Dawn Visit. 1787) The North End mob leader sneaks Shays and other insurgents into the Adams’ kitchen to ask for amnesty. Sam seems to understand, but pulls his wife’s rifle on them, saying if his own son rebelled against their democracy he would hang him with his own hands. Sam’s wife helps them flee.
Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: The ultimate expression of the conflict. Requires a “fight to the death,” literally and symbolically:
18. INT. DUNGEON. SAME NIGHT. (II.6 The Noose. 1787)Sam has chased Shays, woke the sheriff and Shays is now locked in chains with another prisoner – Job Shattuck. Sickly Hancock has bring brought from his bed. Shays challenges Sam to do what he said he would do even to his own son – hang him with his own hands. Now. Sam cannot. Gives amnesty to the prisoner but Shays must stay in prison. Shays taunts him.
Resolution: The transformation that has taken place and this story comes to a fitting conclusion with the lead character’s behavior showing the change… also a resolution for the antagonist that brings us back up to current time:
19. EXT. OUTSIDE BOSTON’S GOVERNMENT BUILDING. EVENING (II.7 Inauguration. 1793) North End mob leader shows angry toasts from a wagon that is becoming a covered wagon outside the inauguration party for Sam as Governor. South End mob leader, now a guard, sees that Shays is hiding in the wagon. As Shays adds his drunken toasts, Sam tries to stop the guard from arresting or shooting him, realizes he should have listened and stood up for the rebels, tries to apologize but he has lost trust. Sam feels the pain of losing his friends, his connection with his beloved “yeomanry.” His wife Betsy says they are ungrateful for all his sacrifices to create a new world where people have freedom to vote and the wealthy cannot rule us, but the fools chose violence over voting. Sam blames himself – his hatred of the wealthy powerful few ruling the millions, he put too mu trust in the people – and their armed protests forced us to create a new world with both freedom and order. (Resolution Part 1)
20. EXT. HAVENS INN. DAY – SAME TIME AS PROLOGUE. (Epilogue – Settlers Moving West. 1795) Continuous time from Prologue, Shays’ is drinking. His wife has died of consumption contracted when in exile in cold barn. Settlers have dragged back the body of the Native American who escaped in the Prologue. Shays says he killed to create a better life… cannot do that again to create a better life in the West. Leaves the wagon train heading for the Ohio River. Stays with the widow. (Resolution Part 2)
Option, depending on director’s decision: after the play, at the Curtain Call, some shouts, maybe from audience or from actors Sam and Dan, connecting the story to current day extremists who believe in violent protests like Jan 5 2021 over organizing votes for elections.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Tita Beal Anntares. Reason: I deleted a note that was not able to activate lesson 3 because I figured out it was because I didn't click that I had viewed the video
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by Tita Beal Anntares.
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This reply was modified 2 years ago by
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BEAT SHEET
LOGLINE: Mary must find her boss’s killer before anyone suspects she tried to kill her boss.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Mary learns her boss has been found dead. Mary dispose of the drops she’s been giving the mayor in case the drug is found in the autopsy.
INT – HOODOO WOMAN’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Mary goes to the woman who gave her the drops. She finds out it was only caffeine. Mary insist on a refund and threatens the woman with bodily harm if she ever speaks of her visits.
INT – MAYOR STONE’S OFFICE — NIGHT
Mary goes to the office and retrieves the blackmail thumb drives.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Back home, Mary check’s off ‘kill Liz’ from her mental to-do list and sleeps soundly.
INT – MAYOR STONE’S HOUSE — DAY
The next day, Mary visits Mayor Stone’s house to recover any work Liz had at home and search for more blackmail evidence. The house has been burglarized. Mary calls Chief Walker. She comments about the heartless person who would vandalize the house after the mayor had a fatal heart attack. Chief Walker informs her, (not in a nice way) that the mayor was bludgeoned to death. He tells her to stay there until a policeman arrives and he hangs up on her.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — DAY
Mary leaves immediately, headed for her own house. She’s been burglarized in the hours since she left home. The burglar must think she has the blackmail information. She calls Chief Walker again. He tells her he will get to her.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — DAY
Chief Walker arrives. Mary is on the phone calling the city councilman. She insists he send her money immediately to pay for damages to both homes. He balks, she counters with putting his pervert activities on social media. He folds. She calls the plant manager and insists on the same and threatens the same if he doesn’t comply. He does. Chief Walker explains they have no evidence that either killed the mayor. Mary counters with their obvious guilt about their activities or they wouldn’t be sending the money.
INT – POLICE HEADQUARTERS — NIGHT
Mayor Bennett of Atlanta arrives at Chief Walker’s office to discuss the murder of Mayor Stone. Chief Walker has always known about Mayor Bennett’s visits to the city to see Liz. Chief Walker would cover Mayor Bennett’s back while he was visiting the city. This is the first time they met. They always communicated by text. Mayor Bennett asks Chief Walker to keep him informed of the investigation and offers whatever assistance he may need. Mayor Bennett says there is one other person who may have information. Chief Walker says, yes…the secretary.
INT – POLICE HEADQUARTERS — NIGHT
Mayor Bennett and Chief Walker meet with the media together which causes a media frenzy on TV and social media. Everyone wants to know the relationship between Mayor Bennett and Mayor Stone. Mayor Bennett ignores all questions regarding their relationship.
INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY
Richard, the City Manager, calls Mary. Tells her to set up an emergency meeting of the city council to elect a mayor pro tem until an election can be scheduled. Mary and Richard were lovers until he stopped coming to her house over 6 months ago.
INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY
Richard runs the meeting. He is nominated to be mayor pro tem. Percy, the pervert, nominates himself. Richard wins. He wants to set up another meeting of the city council as soon as possible to vote on the hospital development plans which Liz was blocking.
INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY
After the meeting, Richard tells Mary to prepare a press release regarding his new position and send all information to his secretary, Sheila. Mary asks why. He tells her Sheila will be his secretary. He knows Mary will train Sheila in her duties and not to worry. They will give her a nice severage package for her years of service. She’s been fired.
INT – SILVER SPRINGS MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY
Mary is pissed again. She downloads everything from the mayor’s computer. Especially everything related to the hospital development. She has no intention of training Sheila or coming to the office anymore.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — DAY
Mary is back home. Chief Walker comes over to question her about Mayor Stone’s recent activities. She tells him Richard fired her and the only thing the mayor was working on was the hospital development. She was getting pressure to bring it to a vote. Mayor Stone was planning on voting no on the project, which would anger a lot of people. They agree to trust each other. They agree on the top suspects: Percy, the city councilman, Plant Manager, Joe, the funeral director and Mayor Bennett. Eli does not believe Mayor Bennett should be on the list. He insists on Richard being on the list. They agree to meet later that evening.
INT – FUNERAL HOME — DAY
Mary goes to the funeral home to make arrangements for the Mayor Stone funeral. Joe is locked in his office. Crying over Liz’s death. Mary questions him about the last time he was with Liz. He says Liz was on the computer and finally says something like ‘I got you’. Meaning she had finally found out something about someone. It seemed important and she was excited. She never said who it was or what it was.
INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Chief Walker is in civilian clothes. They discussed Mary’s conversation with Joe. She thinks he should come off the list. Too weak to kill Liz. Mary and Eli are attracted to each other. He spends the night.
17. INT – CHURCH — DAY
It’s a short service. Citizens and one Female Politician spoke. Mayor Bennett did not speak atthe service.
18. INT – CHURCH — DAY
Mayor Bennett asks Mary and Eli to meet with him that evening at Liz’s house.
19. INT – MAYOR STONE’s HOUSE — NIGHT
Mayor Bennett asks for an update on the investigation. Mary mentions she is concentrating on the people behind the hospital project. Liz was going to vote no on the project. It would have pissed off a lot of people. Percy the pervert was supposedly in traffic. The Plant Manager says he was at the plant. Richard had an alibi. Mayor Bennett says they both have a place in his administration when they are ready. But we must first take care of Liz’s killer.
20. INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Mary has connected the dots. She knows of at least 3 men behind Mayor Bennett and they control most development in Atlanta and surrounding areas. Powerful men. She figures out the password to Eli’s thumb drive. It’s the case file on the murder of Eli’s daughter. Mary goes thru the entire file. And inside the file she figures out who killed his daughter and why Liz needed to die as well. Liz had finally figured it out too. It was Percy, the pervert.
21. INT – MAYOR STONE’s HOUSE — NIGHT
Mary phones Percy to meet her at Liz’s house. When he arrives, Mary tells him what she knows. He killed Eli’s daughter. Liz finally figured it out and you killed her too. He starts talking about how much he loved Eli’s daughter. She wanted to leave him. She started screaming and he was just trying to keep her quiet. He didn’t mean to hurt her. Liz was going to tell Eli. He would have killed him. Mary says she is going to tell Eli. He comes after Mary. They fight all over the house. Mary knocks him out with a vase over the head. She has taped everything. She wants to kill him. But that would rob Eli of the pleasure. She calls Eli.
22. INT – POLICE HEADQUARTERS — DAY
Chief Walker holds a press conference. Percy, the city councilman, has been arrested for the mayor’s murder. And the murder of his daughter.
21. INT – MARY’S HOUSE — NIGHT
Mary invites the Plant Manager over. He is to turn over all the insurance money he received for his wife’s death. The children will be sent to one of his wife’s relatives to live. He will no longer be having sex with his underaged step-daughter. He’s to sell his house and forward the money to Mary. She will set up a trust fund for the kids. Which he will continue to put money into.
22. INT – MAYOR’S OFFICE — DAY
Mary walks in on Richard and Sheila. She proceeds to show them the video she secretly recorded of Richard and Sheila in bed. Along with another man. Sheila runs out of the office in tears. Mary tells Richard he finished in public office. Starting immediately.
23. INT – MAYOR BENNETT — DAY
Mayor Bennett announces his plans to start the AtlantaMissingChildren Alliance headed by Eli Walker. His secretary, Mary, stands behind him.
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I learn Drama and its elements.
– Title: Under the Red Umbrella
· Concept: A pessimistic and self-destructive doctor and her estranged ghost mother change their perspectives and their relationship as they learn about each other’s true colours and hidden secrets.
· Genre: Supernatural Drama
Act 1
· Opening
Sarah suffers chronical depression.
Jade is expecting Sarah to have a final farewell, but she never comes. Jade passes away.
The red umbrella shelters Jade’s spirit and finally arrives in Sarah’s home. Jade starts to learn about Sarah.
Sarah learns that she has a lady ghost friend from her neighbour Mme Kwan, she puts up different religious symbols in her home and hopes the ghost will go away.
· Incident
Sarah discovers that her blood type does not match with the rest of her family members. She is overjoyed and is determined to unearth hidden family secrets and her real identity.
· Turning Point
Jade becomes friends with the lonely old lady Mme. Kwan. She finds Sarah’s broken doll and remembers the past. She starts to understand Sarah’s perspective. She repairs the doll. Sarah is touched and starts to like this unknown ghost.
Sarah learns that she is Jade’s biological child. Jade suffered baby blues, so she stayed with her grandparents until she was three. She missed the bonding period. Sarah’s fantasy of having a loving mother is broken.
Act 2
· New Plan
Sarah opens up to her ghost friend and the two slowly develop a relationship. Jade understand more and more Sarah’s perspective. Sarah needs closure and back to Jade’s house for clues.
· Plan in Action
Sarah discovers Jade’s paintings and never knew that her mother was an artist. Jade suddenly remembers that she forgot to destroy her diaries. She uses her ghost powers to lock Sarah out of the house.
· Turning Point
Sarah starts to suspect her ghost friend and asks Mme Kwan about her identity. Mme Kwan insists that she has no idea. It sounds too fishy to Sarah.
Mme Kwan breaks into Jade’s house. Under Jade’s instruction, she finds the diaries in the basement. As Mme Kwan sneaks out of the house, she is caught by Sarah, who had followed her.
Act 3
· Rethinking
Jade tries everything to distract Sarah and to destroy the dairies. This is a sour point between Sarah and her ghost friend. Sarah locks herself in her bedroom where Jade can’t enter.
· New Plan
Sarah reads Jade’s diaries and learns about Jade’s past.
Jade is from a strict Chinese Catholic family. She was raped by her mentor in art school and got pregnant. She is forced to keep the baby due to her family’s religious beliefs and marry Peter. Jade gave up her dreams being a painter.
· Turning Point / Huge Failure
Sarah learns that Jade tried to murder 3-year-old Sarah but fail to do so, instead, she saved her from drowning. Sarah’s suicide fantasy is in fact a déjà vu.
Act 4
· Climax
Sarah feels that her life is nothing but a burden. She commit suicide. Her soul meets Jade and finally have a meaningful conversation. Jade has a proper farewell and Sarah has closure.
Mme Kwan leads the medic into the apartment and rescues Sarah.
· Resolution
Sarah is saved. Her perspective of life is changed. Jade is happy and leaves the world. Mme Kwan misses her ghost friend and so does Sarah. Sarah starts to have interest in Chinese culture.
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Title: Catch a Faling Star
Concept: Emotional journey through terminal illness and creating a legacy for those left behind
Genre: Drama
2. Make a list of the conventions for your chosen genre, like this:
Example for Action:
Purpose: Facing challenges with grace and dignity; building your tribe for support; learning to trust and risking everything to love again.
Demand for Action:
Mission: Taking the chance to love before it’s too late.
Escalating Action: Michael’s sister harbors a secret; Michael wants to be with Seraphine, but she is in a relationship. His ex wants him back and is willing to blackmail him to get her way. He loves his daughter, Rose and struggles to stay connected to her. Father Joe is in the priesthood for all the wrong reasons, and Anni’s past creates obstructions to her living a full life. Joe & Anni are attracted to each other. Will he leave the priesthood for her?
Hero: Michael is the protagonist. He is also the person behind pulling them all together and creatin a legacy for each of them.
Antagonist: Gloria
3. Brainstorm ways to deliver the conventions more effectively and build those parts into your 4-Act Structure. Add more subtext and beats into the act.
What I learned is that, particularly in Act II, it tends to wander and needs to rearranged and some scenes deleted to make it more concise.
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Day 3: Elevate the Beats of Your Story
I learned that since this script was written pre-pandemic, office interaction and anxiety has changed. The new beats added more conflict and interest.
RELATIVELY NORMAL
LOG LINE
A successful big city marketing executive is forced to return home to take care of her ailing parents and finds out she may not be able to get back to the job she loves.
ACT 1
INT – ADVERTISING CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
A group of executives and creatives passionately presenting to a client. Margot works through IT problems but client leaves without commitment of re-upping the contract with the agency.
Inciting Incident
2. INT – OFFICE – DAY
Margot walks into her offices and finds an office full of shopping bags and her sister Lizbeth sitting the her chair behind the desk. Tells Margot that their dad has been missing for 3 days. Margot calls mom and finds out that it’s no big deal, it happens every so often.
3. INT – BOSS’S OFFICE – DAY
Margot lets her boss John know that she needs to check in on her parents. John is not happy because the client is putting the account up for review and she is the glue. He looks out the door and leers at Margot’s sister walking down the hallway.
Underling listens in and says he can help out while Riley is WFH.
4. INT – OFFICE – DAY
Margot throws some things into her bag and grabs Robert Plant from the window sill.
5. INT – OFFICE CUBICLES – DAY
Louis is eyeing/scoping out her office. Christina, Margot’s “right-hand man” takes notice.
Turning Point 1
6. INT – AIRPLANE – DAY
Margot struggles with flight attendant to let her keep Robert, her plant, with her during the flight. An enraged passenger allegedly is allergic to plants. A “Karen” episode ensues and the woman is escorted off the flight by an air marshal.
ACT 2
1. EXT – SUBURBAN CHILDHOOD HOME – DAY
Margot arrives and sees the grass is half mowed with mower sitting in the middle of the lawn, trash barrels scattered in the front, the shingles askew, mail scattered around the box.
Margot attempts to open the front door but it is locked. After knocking with no response, she fumbles around in her purse to find the house key.
2. INT – KITCHEN – DAY
In the kitchen is her mother having “tea” with Poppy. Mother is surprised because she thinks everything is OK. Margot rattles off a list of questions regarding the disappearance of her father.
Mom said it was her birthday and dad wanted to fix the door knob and went to the Big Box Hardware to get some parts and is convinced he’s still out looking for the right piece. She’s delusional, yet almost non-functional.
Someone is unlocking the back door, Officer Bozwell lets himself in and gets his “Coffee Cop.” Margot turns her attention on him and asks what he is doing to help find her father. Bozwell (Boz) is nervous and tries to assure her everything is being done to find him.
As Stuart the dog scampers in to greet her she notices his ridiculous hair cut that much resembles the lawn. In order to save money, dad gave him a hair cut. Things inside are not quite right, either. The curtains are crooked. A bag of flour is in with the coffee cups.
Not making any headway, she scoops up Stuart and her plant Robert, a bottle of wine and heads to her childhood bedroom.
3. INT – BEDROOM – EVENING
Margot opens the door and the room is now a hobby room. It’s filled with easels and paintings, tin-foil sculptures, ornaments, gift wraps, a sewing machine, fabrics and a dressmakers mannequin. The bed is covered in bills and paperwork. She shuffles thru the paperwork and picks up a bill.
Margot finds a place for Robert, Stuart picks up an ornament and starts to play with it. She chases Stuart and wrangles the ornament away. He pees on Robert.
Margot calls the number on the credit card bill and asks the representative to help track her father. Under normal circumstances, that’s not approved of but the rep has an open screen and will keep it logged in to track dad’s activity.
MONTAGE OF SHOTS BETWEEN MARGOT AND REP TRACKING DAD’S WHERE-ABOUTS ACROSS THE STATE
• Dad has been to the East side of the state and got a hot dog at the gas station
• Dad has been at a marina bought a bottle of water and a snack.
• Dad has been at German Village and had a beer and a brat Mid-state.
• Dad has been to a micro brewery on the North side of the state.
Margot pushes the paperwork aside and falls asleep with phone in hand.
She is awakened by a voice (from phone) then notices someone hovering over her. She jumps out of bed only to realize it’s the dressmakers mannequin.
ACT 3
1 – INT – KITCHEN – MORNING
Margot walks in wearing scrubby pajamas, disheveled, mascara under her eyes, holding tablet and a notebook.
Mom is sitting at the table staring at a bowl full of un-peeled hardboiled eggs. Dad loves eggs.
Riley goes to the curb to get the newspaper.
3. EXT – HOUSE – MORNING
Margot checks to see if the coast is clear. The mail truck coming but makes a dash for it anyway. She grabs the paper and looks into the mailbox and fights to pull out the jammed mail.
Kent, the mail carrier pulls up and hands her the daily mail with a smile. Margot, brushes her fingers though her hair, tries to wipe the mascara under her eyes, and clutches her pjs. She explains that she’s just visiting.
She tries to get in the kitchen door but it’s locked and the mail stack of tumbles out of her arms as she tries to get in. Kent smiles and drives away.
4. INT – KITCHEN – MORNING
Mom takes the paper and smacks a fly with it.
Lizbeth dressed to the nines walks in with a half eaten cruller and offers it to mom for breakfast. Mom is so happy to see her and appreciative for the breakfast.
New Plan
Margot is uneasy about leaving mom in Lizbeth’s care, but has to go back to the office for a couple of days to square things away.
5. EXT – YARD – DAY
On her way out, she sees a steam of people coming in and out of the neighboring Poppy Shed. Now legal, Poppy is selling “recreational” candies and teas and paraphernalia.
Distracted, Margot backs out of the drive trying to avoid Poppy’s customer traffic and almost hits the mail truck.
6. INT – OFFICE – DAY
Lewis is sitting behind Margot’s desk and makes a lame excuse as to why he’s there. He leaves. She re-adjusts her chair to the correct hight and moves everything on her desk back into it’s rightful place.
John walks in and tells him she needs a week or so to sort things out with her parents. He says that WFH is fine. Besides, they are downsizing and the new plan will be “hotelling.” He advises Margot to pack her belongings because when she comes back, she won’t have her big office.
They discuss a big-budget production, John reminds Margot that the client is depending on her leadership and expertise. So, don’t drop the ball.
7. INT – OFFICE HALLWAY – DAY
Lewis is eavesdropping with his ear on the wall.
Margot and John walk out of the office into the hall and catch him listening.
ACT 4
1. INT – KITCHEN – DAY
Margot, boxes in hand, struggles with the door lock and enters the kitchen. Eggs are boiling in a pot where the water has boiled off and are starting to pop off towards the ceiling. She removes the pot from the stove and calls for mom.
Mom enters, she was taking a nap and is wondering what all the fuss is about. Margot concerned that the house could have burnt down.
Mom reaches for a her pill case and starts to hand a pill to the dog by mistake.
Lizbeth enters and reaches into a crumpled bag and hands mom a half-eaten sandwich. As mom extremely is appreciative starts to pick at it. She walks to the door and locks it.
Margot looks in fridge and realizes there is no fresh food and leaves for the market.
Mom locks door behind her.
2. INT – GROCERY – DAY
Margot, in the produce section, basket with a few bottles of wine and some produce. She is on the phone with the credit card rep. The vegetable mist goes on, she drops the basket. Kent helps her pick up her produce and hands her the bananas. Margot’s mascara is running and her hair is flat.
She thanks him and mentions she’ll be staying with her parents for a bit. Kent says he’s noticed that things are amiss. Margot says she’ll be looking for some in-home help for her parents.
At register, cashier mentioned that Kent has the hots for Margot
Plan in action – The protagonist takes action on that plan:
3. INT – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Margot begins a series of elder-care interviews.
Enter nanny 1, Margot invites a rolly-polly “nanny” (older than the parents) into the house. Mom locks door behind them.
Enter nanny 2, Raven, 28. Goth. Facial piercings. Tattoos. Long black overcoat. Mom locks door behind them.
A third applicant knocks on the door Riley answers. Sanding there is a huge Hells Angel Type. Riley closes the door. Mom locks door behind them.
Knock on door. Enter 30ish blonde woman. Tight top and jeans. Man in tight jeans and wife-beater shirt is right behind her. Mom locks door behind them.
Miss Pringle. Small, frail woman when sitting in chair her feet don’t touch the floor. Mom locks door behind them.
Margot answers door and it’s Kent delivering mail. She brushes her hair back and it snags her ring.
Montage of door OPENING/CLOSING to reveal candidates:
• A flamboyant cross dresser
• Religious solicitation
• Prankster ringing bell / bag of flaming dog poop on the porch
Enter Girl Scout with an impressive list of accomplishments and resume including baby-sitting endorsements. So far she is the best candidate.
Opens door to let Girl Scout out and Poppy sweeps in with a bundle of freshly picked herb under her arm.
Lizbeth enters the room wondering what’s going on. Margot lets her know that the parents need help. Lizbeth upset because she thinks she’s handling things just perfectly.
Midpoint Turning Point 2
ACT 4
1. INT – KITCHEN – AFTERNOON
Poppy making an herbal salad for mom. Pushes Margot out of the way.
Boz (leery of the salad) is having a coffee.
Lizbeth is creating TikTok videos.
Margot exasperated as to why no-one sees the elephant in the room.
2. INT – BEDROOM – NIGHT
Margot, while corresponding the credit card representative, falls asleep. Startled awake by the mannequin, she grabs Robert, phone and wine, blanket and pillow and drags herself out of the “craft-room”.
Resolution
3. INT – ATTIC – NIGHT
Margot, with Stuart at her heels, sets Robert on a box.
She brushes off a day-bed and sits on it. As she’s looking through a box of childhood photos and contemplates that this is her life. At least for a little while.
Everything is Relatively Normal.
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