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Lesson 2
Posted by cheryl croasmun on May 22, 2023 at 7:09 amReply to post your assignments.
Julie Dod replied 1 year, 11 months ago 7 Members · 7 Replies -
7 Replies
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Hi, Cheryl – so excited to be a part of this course!
I’m struggling a bit to make sure I post in the correct spot – Is Lesson 2 the same as Day Two?
Also, “As in, Bill’s concept and basic structure!” where can we reference this?
Thanks!
birgit
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by
birgit keil.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by
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Lesson#2: Structure
What I learned from this lesson is that I have a lot of turning points, but some scenes don’t add much, and can probably be deleted.
Title: Catch a Falling Star
Genre: Drama/Romance
Concept: Not sure what that means??
Main conflict: Michael (protagonist) must create a legacy for his loved ones before his death, which means sacrificing a life of fame, and choosing who he wants to bring with him on his journey.
Act 1:
Opening: Michael and DJ prepare to go onstage to perform in concert.
Incident: Michael suffers a massive nosebleed on stage. In the crowd, he spies Seraphine, his high school sweetheart.
Turning Point: He is hospitalized and diagnosed with Stage IV cancer.
Act 2:
New plan: Decides to have the biopsy, but not sure about chemo and radiation. Mostly focused on finding Seraphine.
Plan in action: Asks the nurse (Anni) who is caring for him to come to his home in Maui as a private duty nurse. He does NOT want his sister, Gina coming there.
Midpoint Turning Point: He realizes a priest, Father Joe at hospital has a crush on Anni. He also wants more of a connection with his 5 y/o daughter, but that would include Gloria, and they do not get along. Back to thoughts of Seraphine- is she even available? Does she still love him? He tells Joe that he needs to come to Maui- Anni needs him.
Act 3:
Rethink everything: Rose wants her daddy to come home. He agrees to spend the night with Gloria, who threatens to embarrass him publicly to his fans and blackmail him, when she finds out the cancer started in a testicle, which he had removed.
New plan: Seraphine is engaged. Will she leave Russell to be with him? He decides to go to Marysville to find her.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift: Sera shares that she loves him and leaves Russell. Russell says it’s not over. He wants her back, but she goes with Michael. Chemo is dreadful and he becomes very ill with side effects. Plus, he has to perform on stage, and Gloria takes that moment to hold a press conference, on the biggest night of his career.
Act 4:
Climax: They go on a cruise, but before boarding, Russell shows up and punches Michael in the mouth. Michael explains to Rose why Daddy won’t be living with Mommy. Seraphine proposes and Michael accepts. Joe tells Anni he is leaving the priesthood to be with her.
Ultimate expression of the conflict: Michael is no longer in remission, and after trying everything realizes there is no hope. He has to let Rose has to go back to live with Gloria.
Resolution: Joe proposes and Anni informs him she is pregnant. Gina finally shares that she is Michael’s mother, not his sister. Michael records his last song and all the proceeds are set up for a charity for children who have lost a parent and for grieving families. He makes sure everyone, his created family (Ohana), will be financially stable for life. He dies on Christmas morning, in the arms of Seraphine, with his family surrounding him. Gloria and Rose arrive, too late, but are welcomed.
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Tita’s 4-Act Transformational Structure
What I learned doing this assignment is:
· My overall structure has the key elements, just needed strengthening and rearranging of some scenes. Using the “Elevate” questions in the assignment makes the script so much better, clearer.
· Also needed to weave my main character through more scenes and sharpen the theme (need to balance freedom and order, choose the vote over violence) in key moments
· I had a time bomb but it was in the background. I needed to bring it out more.
What I have right now with some improvements, big picture points about Antagonist:
Genre – The one or two genres to fully honor in this rewrite: Historical Drama
High Concept – One sentence that gives us the major hook of this story:
Five years after Sam and Dan celebrate victory in their colonial war together for independence from the British empire, these two friends are ready to kill each other, both sure they are saving their new democracy from the other – terrifying all 13 new American nations into uniting under one Constitution that didn’t dare mention the rights both Sam Adams and Captain Daniel Shays risked their lives to win.
Main Conflict – The big fight, battle, or struggle that permeates the story from the 2<sup>nd</sup> Act to the end of the final Act climax:
Sam Adams understands why his friend Captain Daniel Shays and his thousands of indebt ed veterans are closing courts at gunpoint to stop their government from throwing them in debtors prison – but every court closing triggers calls for an American monarchy to control the new mob-o-cracy after every court closing. As the other 12 new nations meet in Philadelphia to merge their armies and invade the nation of Massachusetts to crush Shays Rebellion before it spreads, Sam demands the rebels wait for the next election to vote for change – or his nation’s army will shoot or arrest and hang them, friends or not. Will the rebels wait to vote for a redress of grievances? If not, will Sam hang Daniel Shays and his other friends in the rebellion?
Not part of assignment, but what I have so far for:
Transformational Journey -The profound journey of internal and external change that the protagonist goes on:
From commitment to individual freedom and self-government without controlling leaders like King and Parliament but manipulating people behind the scenes, through an angry sense of betrayal when the people rise up with guns against his new government and Sam’s own decision to use violence against him to awareness that he cannot hang the rebels with his own hands – as he said he would do even to his own son if he took up guns against the people’s elected government – to awareness that he needs to balance freedom with order through a strong government.
Opposition – The forces that work against your protagonist or prevent them from succeeding, usually represented by one person labeled as the Antagonist:
After the war, Captain Daniel Shays sees his neighbors unfairly suffering because of government actions and his trust in Sam Adams, now a government leader, to redress their grievances immediately or his armed “regulators” will take up arms against their new government’s betrayal… realizing only after the killing starts again, that he has only caused more suffering by his impatience and his refusal to use the vote not violence.
OUTLINE OF STAGE PLAY (THIS IS NOT A FILMSCRIPT)
Structure Beats – You want your structure points to be strong and as obvious as you can make them. That way, the audience will feel them and experience the purpose of each point. Make them strong!
SU Structure Act 1:
Opening: Engaging opening, lures us into the story? Is the lead character clearly living in a pre-transformation mode?
IN STAGE PLAY – ACT I 1791-1786
(In paren, after Slug, I’ve put the state play’s scene *2 and titles in paren)
Opening –Engages, lures us into the story, lead character is clearly living in a pre-transformational mode:
1. OPENING. AUDIENCE AREA. CURRENT TIME (Curtain Raiser, Current Time) Actor playing Dan rushes out to warn audience the play is biased against today’s patriots, but blocked by actor playing Sam who shows Timothy McVeigh’s t-shirt that glorifies Shays Rebellion. Rachel, actress playing the widow Mrs. Havens insists they start the play.
[If I turn this into a filmscript: EXT. LOT OF MOVIE SET. CURRENT TIME: Actors Dan then Sam grab the camera on the lot, make their case]
2. EXT. HAVENS INN. COVERED WAGON. DAY (Prologue – Settlers Moving West. 1795) Outside ramshackle tavern – owner’s widow, worn down by seeing too much killing in the war, recognizes the drunk guarding an Native American tied by neck to a wagon wheel as Captain Daniel Shays and seductively tries to get him to let the captive escape. Shays does – and settlers chase off after the Indian shooting.
Inciting Incident – Invites and propels us into the journey:
3. EXT. HILL OVERLOOKING HAVENS INN. DAY (I.1 Leaders and Fighters1781) Sam Adams ignores warnings by African American Colonel George Middleton that to become a leader of the newly independent nation of Massachusetts Bay, Sam must act like a leader of the new government not hang out with low level people like his friends in former Boston mobs. Sam cons Middleton into thinking he agrees, then sneaks off to join the people to celebrate the end of the few ruling the millions – now the people will rule themselves through their elected representatives.
Additional Scene:
4. EXT. HAVENS INN. TROOPS GATHERED. DAY (I.2 Victory Celebrations 1781) Tavern is a little less ramshackle than in second scene. Covered wagon is no longer covered – holds supplies, army weapons. Sam and Captain Daniel Shays celebrate their victory against the British empire with Shays’ regiment of white and black soldiers and camp-followers, including the former mob leaders of Boston Henry Swift and Ebeneezer Mackintosh. As the soldiers argue over who will now become rich, maybe even help create an American nobility, Sam shocks them, saying there will be no Lords and Ladies. No King or Queen. No Tyrants telling us what to do. He promises that each of the 13 new independent nations will be a self-governing democracy with equal voting rights regardless of wealth (and laughter that New Jersey will even let women vote.) African American Private Moses Sash starts to say he is free and will vote then stops himself, unsure. Sam reassures him. Massachusetts freed slaves and he fought in the war so he should vote.
Turning Point 1- Twist that locks us into the journey with no going back:
5. INT. CANDLE-LIT ELEGANT PARLOR. EVENING (1.3 The Society 1781) Tory widow tries to get John Hancock to join a group that wants to set up an American nobility. Every civilized country has one. Maybe a king. Sam Adams interrupts the “seduction” just as Hancock starts to try on the crown. Sam determined to get rid of all longing for Americans’ own nobility, royalty and Lords and Ladies being better than others.
SU Structure Act 2:
New Plan – Protag creates new plan did the protagonist to deal with the Act 1 Turning Point – and in same scene –
6. EXT. MONTAGE. FARMS, BOARDING HOUSE. DAY. (1.4 Homecomings 1781) Joy and fears of soldiers and camp-followers returning home. Sam meets some of them, welcoming, reminding them they are free from monarchy, aristocracies – not going to recreate them in the new nation of Massachusetts.
Plan in action – The protagonist takes action on that plan:
7. EXT. ELECTION DAY. OUTSIDE WORCESTER COUNTY COURTHOUSE. DAY (I.5 Election Day 1782?) Veteran, former South End mob leader Ebeneezer MacKintosh, swindles Daniel Shays and his wife out of their army pay in his get rich quick scheme. Despite warnings from an old farmer who has a letter from Sam Adams warning of people’s weakness for baubles and their desire to be better than others, Shays and his wife fall for it because Daniel has joined the Order of the Cincinnati, a group preparing to set up a nobility starting with Continental Army officers.
8. EXT. OUTSIDE GREEN DRAGON TAVERN. DAY (I.6 Shots in the City 1783) Henry Swift, Boston dockworker and former North End mob leader is in debt, angry. Jealous, he takes out his anger – and contempt – first on Dan Shays, a farmer selling his specially of African American Colonel and Native American who have jobs “when white men don’t”. Sam Adams shames him.
Midpoint Turning Point 2: How does the Midpoint change the meaning, creating a reveal that changes everything while keeping us on the same journey?
9. EXT. OUTSIDE WORCESTER COUNTY COURTHOUSE. DAY. (I.7 Shouts in the Country 1784) Sam Adams asks people in Daniel Shays’ County to be patient and not join armed mobs in other counties that are forcing judges to close courts so judges cannot any more neighbors into debtors prison. Sam is shaken by the angry reactions to him – the loss of people’s trust in him as “man of the people” who forged the new self-governing democracy.
SU Structure Act 3:
React/Rethink: After experiencing the rage from the people, Sam realizes he may be a new leader but he is loing the power he had over people before the war. He becomes defensive.
10. INT. GOVERNOR HANCOCK’S OFFICE. DAY (I.8 Mob-o-cracy, 1784) The Tory Widow shames Sam Adams for thinking the people can govern themselves. Court closings by armed mobs are proof, laughing at farmer Job Shattuck claiming to be a General.
New Plan – Protag creates plan to deal with this new level of conflict:
11. INT. THE SHAYS’ KITCHEN. NIGHT.(I.9. Peaceful Protests, 1785) Shays has received a messenger from Sam Adams, saying Sam has lost trust so it is up to Shays to make sure people in Worcester County refuses violence wants to wait for the vote. He and his wife hogtie a rebel, Job Shattuck, who wants Shays to mobilize veterans in his county to join court closings there and in other counties.
12. INT. SAM AND BETSY’S KITCHEN. DAY. (I.10 The Captive, 1786)A veteran, Job Shattuck, who has led his make-shift army to take over a town’s green, is seriously wounded and arrested, in pain. Sam tries to help him, get him to name British infiltrators who manipulated him into taking up arms against their elected government – but Shattuck is furious at Sam and blames him for not helping the people immediately, scoffing at Sam’s need for his time and patience. Sam is devastated as Shattuck is taken off to prison.
Turning Point 3: The lowest of the low. The protag has been brought to the lowest of lows, making it almost impossible for them to win in a normal way. This forces them to adopt the change in a much bigger way.
13. INT. SAM AND BETSY’S BEDROOM. DAWN. (II.1. Decision. 1787) Every court closing triggers more calls for a nobility, maybe an American King – every other nation has one. The 12 other nations are planning to meet in Philadelphia to invade Massachusetts to stop the rebellion so it doesn’t spread to across borders. Sam decides to call out the army of his nation.
Additional Scene:
14. INT. THE SHAYS’ KITCHEN. NIGHT. (II.2. Preparing for War…Again, 1787Shays prepares himself and his closest friends to stop the Massachusetts army from hunting down rebels. He appoints African-American veteran as Captain. They plan escape routes for themselves and Shays’ wife just in case they cannot stop the army.
IN STAGE PLAY – ACT I1; 1781-1786; 1795
Option During Intermission, depending on director’s decision: Quick banter between actors playing Dan and Sam as in Curtain Raiser at the beginning
SU Structure Act 4:
Protag’s reaction to TP 3:
15. INT. HANCOCK’S BEDROOM. DAY. (II.4. Amnesty? 1787) The army is clearing rebels out of every farm town and hollow. Some shot dead. And the nations are in Philadelphia but neither Hancock nor Sam Adams, delegates to the convention 10 years earlier that created the Declaration of Independence, have not been elected as representatives. Hancock, Governor, but in debt himself and ill, wants to stop the rebellion, give amnesty to all the arrested insurgents and let the ones in hiding in Vermont – but Sam Adams refuses. They rebelled against the people’s own elected democracy – no mercy.
16. EXT. HAVENS INN. DAY. (II.3 Blood on the Snow. 1787) The war is going badly for the rebels. Shays’ wife, escaping with her life, meets up with North End mob leader/veteran and his woman who will help her escape to exile in Vermont.
(+) Crisis:
17. INT. SAM AND BETSY’S KITCHEN. DAWN. (II.5 Dawn Visit. 1787) The North End mob leader sneaks Shays and other insurgents into the Adams’ kitchen to ask for amnesty. Sam seems to understand, but pulls his wife’s rifle on them, saying if his own son rebelled against their democracy he would hang him with his own hands. Sam’s wife helps them flee.
Climax/Ultimate Expression Of The Conflict: The ultimate expression of the conflict. Requires a “fight to the death,” literally and symbolically:
18. INT. DUNGEON. SAME NIGHT. (II.6 The Noose. 1787)Sam has chased Shays, woke the sheriff and Shays is now locked in chains with another prisoner – Job Shattuck. Sickly Hancock has bring brought from his bed. Shays challenges Sam to do what he said he would do even to his own son – hang him with his own hands. Now. Sam cannot. Gives amnesty to the prisoner but Shays must stay in prison. Shays taunts him.
Resolution: The transformation that has taken place and this story comes to a fitting conclusion with the lead character’s behavior showing the change… also a resolution for the antagonist that brings us back up to current time:
19. EXT. OUTSIDE BOSTON’S GOVERNMENT BUILDING. EVENING (II.7 Inauguration. 1793) North End mob leader shows angry toasts from a wagon that is becoming a covered wagon outside the inauguration party for Sam as Governor. South End mob leader, now a guard, sees that Shays is hiding in the wagon. As Shays adds his drunken toasts, Sam tries to stop the guard from arresting or shooting him, realizes he should have listened and stood up for the rebels, tries to apologize but he has lost trust. Sam feels the pain of losing his friends, his connection with his beloved “yeomanry.” His wife Betsy says they are ungrateful for all his sacrifices to create a new world where people have freedom to vote and the wealthy cannot rule us, but the fools chose violence over voting. Sam blames himself – his hatred of the wealthy powerful few ruling the millions, he put too mu trust in the people – and their armed protests forced us to create a new world with both freedom and order. (Resolution Part 1)
20. EXT. HAVENS INN. DAY – SAME TIME AS PROLOGUE. (Epilogue – Settlers Moving West. 1795) Continuous time from Prologue, Shays’ is drinking. His wife has died of consumption contracted when in exile in cold barn. Settlers have dragged back the body of the Native American who escaped in the Prologue. Shays says he killed to create a better life… cannot do that again to create a better life in the West. Leaves the wagon train heading for the Ohio River. Stays with the widow. (Resolution Part 2)
Option, depending on director’s decision: after the play, at the Curtain Call, some shouts, maybe from audience or from actors Sam and Dan, connecting the story to current day extremists who believe in violent protests like Jan 5 2021 over organizing votes for elections.
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NOTE: I double checked and revised several times, using these questions:
ELEVATE YOUR STRUCTURE
Your chance to make these big-picture improvements now and make major improvements to the below-the-surface quality
A. Compare the structure to your Pitch from Lesson 1.
Does this structure clearly deliver that pitch? Are there any parts that distract or deviate from the pitch?Can you make the structure a stronger representation of the pitch?
B. Are there any weak or subtle structure points?
If so, go to the purpose of that structure point and brainstorm ways to fulfill it in a more powerful way.
C. Is the conflict represented well?
Are there strong opposing goals/needs?Who is fighting against who and how aggressive are they?Do you need higher stakes?
D. Could you use a Ticking Clock? If so, how can you make it critically important that they meet the deadline?
E. Are there any turning points that can be stronger?
Is the TP a major twist?Is there clearly no going back?Does this TP force the Protagonist further out of their comfort zone?Does this TP escalate the conflict?
F. Is the Transformational Journey present throughout this story?
G. Does the Midpoint continue the journey, but shift the meaning in a big way?
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Lesson#2: Structure
What I learned from this lesson is it helps to work “backwards” to see if and how the script flows.
Title: RELATIVELY NORMAL
(3 Act Structure)Genre: Sitcom Dramedy
Concept: A woman at the top of her career puts it on hold to care for her ailing parents.
Main Conflict: Riley goes home to get things in order so that her parents will be taken care of so that she can get back to the job she loves.
Act 1:
Opening: Chaos in an advertising conference room. Much excited and exaggerated gesturing going on. Video running, walls are plastered with posters, ads, comps, and scripts. Riley, the Executive Creative Director, knows the client is looking to go elsewhere so the angst of downsizing is driving the “last-ditch pitch.”
Incident: Riley’s sister flew in unexpectedly and sitting in her office. Between talking about shopping for shoes and about how great Broadway is, she casually drops that their father has been missing for 3 days.
Turning Point: Riley must return to her childhood home and see what’s really going on for herself.
Act 2:
New Plan: Things look askew in the house and Mother is not worried that dad is missing. Seeing her sister isn’t stepping up to take care of their parents, Riley decides to interview elder-care givers.
Plan in action: Riley interviews a series of elder-care givers that obviously don’t fit the criteria. Too young, too old, too whacky for comfort.
Midpoint Turning Point: Riley realizes that she has to be the one to take care of her parents. Parents don’t think they need help, that their “favorite” daughter is really a big help.”
Act 3:
React/Rethink: After realizing that her parents are worse off than she thought, Riley must rely on the help of her copywriter to help keep her in the loop at work. Problem is, he’s angling to get her job.
With her father still missing, the local police officer (who has made himself at home) doesn’t seem on top of it, and the flower-child neighbor herbal remedies she prescribes to her mother, doesn’t give Riley much confidence.
New Plan: Even though the boss highly depends on Riley, especially when ti comes to client relations, she strikes a deal with her boss to give her a chance to take care of her parents. She swears to stay on top of her duties and staff. Once things are squared away, she will get back to New York to the job she loves.
Turning Point: Dad is found and returns home and she really sees his dementia for the first time. Seems like it will be longer than she thinks.
Climax: Over the years, Riley’s childhood bedroom has been overtaken by her mother’s crafts and hobbies. With no room left for her, Riley moves up into the attic. This has become her new “home” office.
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Logline: The Secretary
Mary must find her boss’s killer before anyone suspects she tried to kill her boss.
Main Conflict: 1st List
Opening – Mary learns her boss, Mayor Elizabeth Stone has been found dead. She disposes of the drops she’s been putting in the mayor’s coffee to poison her. Mary goes to her contact who provided the drops to make sure they keep quiet about her purchase. Mary retrieves the mayor’s blackmail evidence at the office before the Chief of Police can get it. Chief Eli Walker is a widower whose child was also murdered. He knows of the mayor’s blackmail schemes because he supplied most of the information used by the mayor.
Inciting Incident: The mayors’ house has been burglarized and ransacked. Probably looking for the blackmail evidence. Mary’s house has also been burglarized. Killer believes Mary knows what the blackmail evidence is and probably has it.
What the movie is about: With the Chief of Police present, Pissed- off Mary, phones the two most likely suspects – the city commissioner and the plant manager. She accuses each of them separately of the break-ins and the murder. She demands thousands of dollars for the clean up and will be in touch. Both comply.
First Turning Point at the end of Act 1 – Mayor Bennett of Atlanta creates a media frenzy by meeting with Chief Walker and offers his assistance.
Mid-Point: Richard, the City Manager and Mary’s boyfriend who decided he doesn’t want Mary, calls for an interim election – wins. Fires Mary. She downloads everything from the Mayor Liz’s computer and plans her revenge. Mary meets with suspect #3, Joe, the mayor’s married lover #2 and funeral home director. Mary plans the funeral. He tells Mary of his bedroom conversation with the Mayor two nights before her murder.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: Mayor’s Funeral. All suspects are present including Mayor Bennett. Many female politicians and young girls are present. They all speak of Mayor Stone as their mentor and how she supported them in their positions and their goals as women in politics. Mayor Bennett meets with Mary and Chief Walker later that evening. Offers both a position in his administration – after they find out who killed Liz. Mary concludes he didn’t kill Liz, but he’s not innocent. The group behind him was definitely involved with bribing city council members to vote yes on the hospital development.
Crisis – Mary has been fired, she has time to analyze the hospital project and all the suspects. She hopes it’s not Chief Eli since she’s now sleeping with him. The group behind Mayor Bennett is a powerful one and they may come after her. She’s confident she can manage them. During her research, she figures out who the killer is. And it has nothing to do with the hospital project.
Climax – Mary knows who the killer is. She invites him over to Liz’s house. She wants to kill him and he wants to kill her.
Resolution – Chief Walker arrests the city commissioner for killing the mayor. Mary gets her revenge on Richard. Meets with the Plant Manager and metes out justice for the children without him going to jail. Mary becomes Mayor Bennett’s secretary and Eli is assigned to Atlanta’s Missing Children’s Alliance.
Main Conflict: 2nd List
Opening – Mary learns her boss, Mayor Elizabeth Stone has been found dead. She disposes of the drops she’s been putting in the mayor’s coffee to poison her. Mary goes to her contact who provided the drops to make sure they keep quiet about her purchase. Mary retrieves the mayor’s blackmail evidence at the office before the Chief of Police can get it. Chief Eli Walker is a widower whose child was also murdered. He knows of the mayor’s blackmail schemes because he supplied most of the information used by the mayor.
Inciting Incident: The mayors’ house has been burglarized and ransacked. Probably looking for the blackmail evidence. Mary’s house has also been burglarized. Killer believes Mary knows what the blackmail evidence is and probably has it.
What the movie is about: With the Chief of Police present, Pissed- off Mary, phones the two most likely suspects – the city commissioner and the plant manager. She accuses each of them separately of the break-ins and the murder. She demands thousands of dollars for the clean up and will be in touch. Both comply.
First Turning Point at the end of Act 1 – Mayor Bennett of Atlanta creates a media frenzy by meeting with Chief Walker and offers his assistance.
Mid-Point: Richard, the City Manager and Mary’s boyfriend who decided he doesn’t want Mary, calls for an interim election – wins. Fires Mary. She downloads everything from the Mayor Liz’s computer and plans her revenge. Mary meets with suspect #3, Joe, the mayor’s married lover #2 and funeral home director. Mary plans the funeral. He tells Mary of his bedroom conversation with the Mayor two nights before her murder.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2: Mayor’s Funeral. All suspects are present including Mayor Bennett. Many female politicians and young girls are present. They all speak of Mayor Stone as their mentor and how she supported them in their positions and their goals as women in politics. Mayor Bennett meets with Mary and Chief Walker later that evening. Offers both a position in his administration – after they find out who killed Liz. Mary concludes he didn’t kill Liz, but he’s not innocent. The group behind him was definitely involved with bribing city council members to vote yes on the hospital development.
Crisis – Mary has been fired, she has time to analyze the hospital project and all the suspects. Mayor Stone’s murder has everything to do with the hospital project. At least three of the city council members have been paid off and were ready to vote yes on the project. Mayor Stone was voting no. Being out-voted would not have stopped her. She could go to the citizens and sway public opinion.
Climax – Mary knows who the killer is. She invites him over to Liz’s house. She wants to kill him and he wants to kill her.
Resolution – Chief Walker killed Mayor Stone. He was also bought and paid for by the men behind Mayor Bennett.
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I learn how to re-examine the structure and analyze the plot.
Title: Under the Red Umbrella
Genre: Supernatural Drama
· Concept:
A pessimistic and self-destructive doctor and her estranged ghost mother change their perspectives and their relationship as they learn about each other’s true colours and hidden secrets.
· Main Conflict: The spirit of an angry mother obstructs her estranged daughter’s quest to unearth her unspeakable past.
Act 1
· Opening
A writer pitches a producer for a film idea. The writer introduces Sarah as a doctor in her 30’s suffering chronic depression and Jade as a Chinese woman in her 50’s suffering late-stage cancer dying in a hospital.
Jade is expecting her daughter Sarah to have a final farewell, but she never comes. Jade collapses onto a red umbrella and passes away.
The red umbrella shelters Jade’s spirit and finally arrives in Sarah’s home. Jade starts to learn about Sarah and adapt to her life as a ghost.
Sarah can’t see nor hear Jade but is disturbed by paranormal activities at home. She learns that she has a lady ghost friend from her neighbour Mme Kwan, a lonely old Chinese woman. She puts up different religious symbols in her home and hopes the ghost will go away.
· Incident
Sarah, her sister Cassie, and their aunt Lynn clean up Jade’s house and prepare it for sale. Sarah and Cassie don’t get along and they constantly bickering at each other. Jade has a ghost headache and disappears.
Sarah discovers that her blood type does not match with the rest of her family members. She is overjoyed and is determined to unearth hidden family secrets and her real identity.
· Turning Point
Jade finds Sarah’s broken doll and remembers the past. She starts to understand Sarah’s perspective. She repairs the doll. Sarah is touched and starts to like this unknown ghost.
Jade makes friends with Mme Kwan.
Jade’s house reminds Sarah of her painful childhood, her cold and distant relationship with Jade, the sibling jealousy, and her beloved father, Peter, passed away.
From Lynn, Sarah learns that she is Jade’s biological child. Jade suffered baby blues, so she stayed with her grandparents until she was three. She missed the bonding period.
Sarah’s fantasy of having a loving mother is broken and it’s hard for her to accept that Peter is not her biological father. Sarah’s mental health declines.
Act 2
· New Plan
Sarah has an empty life. She doesn’t have friends. Jade cares for her. Soon the two develop a close relationship. Sarah shares her childhood stories with Jade and tells her how much she hates her mother. Jade understand more and more Sarah’s perspective.
Sarah needs closure and she needs to discover the truth.
· Plan in Action
Sarah, Cassie, and Lynn meet again for house cleaning. Sarah discovers Jade’s paintings. The sisters never knew that their mother was an artist. The award-winning painting reminds Jade of a painful past. She suddenly remembers that she forgot to destroy her diaries. She uses her ghost powers to kick the three ladies out of her house.
· Turning Point
Sarah takes more and more pills to treat her depression. As a side effect, she has problems eating. Jade tries many ways to cheer her up. They find out that they both enjoy watching soccer. Sarah becomes curious about the ghost’s identity. Mme Kwan refuses to tell her anything.
Mme Kwan breaks into Jade’s house. Under Jade’s instruction, she finds the diaries in the basement. As Mme Kwan sneaks out of the house, she is caught by Sarah, who had followed her.
Act 3
· Rethinking
Jade tries everything to distract Sarah and to destroy the dairies. This is a sour point between Sarah and her ghost friend. Sarah locks herself in her bedroom where Jade can’t enter.
· New Plan
Sarah reads Jade’s diaries and learns about Jade’s past.
Jade is from a strict Chinese Catholic family. She was raped by her mentor in art school and got pregnant. She is forced to keep the baby due to her family’s religious beliefs and marry Peter.
· Turning Point / Huge Failure
Sarah learns that Jade tried to murder 3-year-old Sarah but fail to do so, instead, she saved her from drowning. Sarah’s suicide fantasy is in fact a déjà vu.
Act 4
· Climax
Despite being burnt, Jade bursts open the bedroom door. However, Sarah already overdosed and passed away. The two souls meet and finally have a meaningful conversation. Jade has a proper farewell and Sarah has closure.
Mme Kwan leads the medic into the apartment and rescues Sarah.
· Resolution
Sarah is saved. Her perspective of life is changed. She realizes that people around her care about her and she constantly locked them out of her life. She has a meaningful conversation with Cassie. Seeing the two sisters getting closer, Jade is happy and leaves the world.
Mme Kwan misses her ghost friend and so does Sarah. Mme Kwan starts to teach Sarah how to make Chinese soup and Sarah starts to have interest in Chinese culture.
· Real Ending
The producer asks the writer if the story is a fantasy. The writer tells her that in real life, Sarah never reconciled with her mom and concludes that it’s a horrible thing when women have no rights over their womb.
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Julie Dod’s 4-Act Structure
What I learned doing this assignment:
That I have an actual structure – and that I need to make my turning points more pronounced.
Title: Come By This Way
Genre: Romance / Comedy
Concept: In 1995, a young wife and mother leaves
her husband when she is reunited with a former lover.Main Conflict: After leaving her husband, the former
lover disconnects all his phones, her best friend leaves the country, and
she is left alone with her children to re-find her way.Act 1:
Opening –
Molly as young and carefree
serving drinks at Seany’s, the star of the Friday night “Show” bar dancing
act to R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Jake walks in the pub, notices Molly, Molly notices
Jake, their eyes lock, the chandelier falls
Inciting Incident – Ten years
later, Molly back at the bar as a married, mother of two, celebrating a
birthday with her best friend, Maria, whom she met in the Opening Scene. We’ve previously seen her trying to
connect with her husband, Dan, whom we also met in the opening scene.Turning Point – Jake walks back
in the bar – they immediately connect.Act 2:
New plan – Pursues Jake –
Plan in action – tries to
juggle seeing Jake and her responsibilities as a volunteer at the kids’
school. During this time Dan runs
into Jake at the pub and knows he’s back in town.Midpoint Turning Point – After
spending an afternoon with Jake she fails to make the school Olympics she’s suppose to volunteer at,
telling her husband she was at a spa day with Maria, but he suspects.Act 3:
Rethink everything – Molly leaves
Dan after he confronts her about Jake.
Molly says she doesn’t like whom she has become while being married
to him.New plan – living with Maria,
she and Jake see each other – goes to the zoo with the kids, and the kids
rebel by letting all the goats out of the goat petting zoo. Maria leaves for France. Dan dates an attorney in his office.Turning Point: Huge failure /
Major shift –Jake disappears from Molly’s life, by disconnecting
his phones – not telling her. Molly
sad, smoking and drinking alone at night, finally sees a homeless woman on
a dark rainy night. The next day
she brings her a coffee. She goes
to confession. She meets the intimidating
school moms with confidence.Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of
the conflict –Molly is sick and Dan comes over to care for her. He wants her back, says she was right
about them. She said she can’t go
back to what they were. They begin
having family outings.
Resolution – Dan takes her to
the revitalized and expanded Seany’s.
She says maybe they could try way harder this time – Dan says he’ll
never again give up when it comes to her. The kiss under the chandelier.
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