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Post Day 11 Assignment Here
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THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY ASSIGNMENT #11
James E. Clark Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned from this assignment: Writing is faster when I don’t stop to correct errors, change words or follow a different path. Save that for the end of the exercise.
Act 1 Beats
Inciting Incident:
INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY
Carrie is in the doctor’s office on base. She’s been given the news of a terminal diagnosis. We don’t hear what it is, but we see her reaction.
INT. COMMANDER’S OFFICE – DAY
Carrie is informed she will be forced to retire after 23 years. She has 60 days until she’s a civilian.
ACT 1 TURNING POINT
REACTION TO INCITING INCIDENT
Carrie speeds up her plan for life after retirement.
Act 1 Outline
Inciting Incident
INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY
Carrie is sitting in the waiting room. She gets called.
Carrie is shown to the Dr’s office rather than an exam room. She’s apprehensive.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Carrie asks the Dr. why the office rather than an exam room. He responds that an exam is not necessary. She’s relieved – somewhat.
The Dr. tells Carrie she has one to two years left to live. He’s sorry the news couldn’t be better.
EXT. FRONT OF MEDICAL BUILDING – DAY
Carrie is standing – staring. She suddenly screams. From behind she hears a voice, turns to see the Admiral. Embarrassed she salutes and walks away.
INT. BATALLION WAITING ROOM – DAY
Carrie is dressed in her freshly laundered khaki’s. She sits in the waiting room.
The Command Master Chief steps out of the Commander’s office and beckons Carrie in.
INT. BATTALION COMMANDER’S OFFICE – DAY
They inform her that due to her illness, she will be retired with 23 years in service. She will not make Master Chief and she will not have a 30 year career. They are sorry and wish the news was better.
EXT BATTALION HQ BUILDING – DAY
Carrie is standing – staring. She screams – again. As she screams a car with a single star flag pulls up next to her and stops. The window rolls down and there’s the Admiral. He asks her if she’s okay. She nods, salutes and turns in the opposite direction and walks angrily.
Act 1 Turning point – Reaction to Inciting Incident
EXT. AUCTION LOT – DAY
Carrie is checking out school busses. She looks inside, under the hood and crawls underneath to check out the undercarriage. She makes notes on three busses.
INT. AUCTION ROOM – DAY
Carrie loses her first choice bid. She gets her second choice.
EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANICAL WORKSHOP – NIGHT
Carrie is ripping all of the seats out of the bus. She’s angry and every move she makes has an aggressive feel to it.
Carrie stares at a pile of 24 bus seats neatly stacked up.
INT. CARRIE’S NAVY HOUSING – DAY
She just arrives home from work. She heats herself a bowl of soup. She pulls out her checklist and checks off 1- emptying the interior of the bus and 2- verifying the quality of the engine and transmission.
She sits at a table working on her map of the US and the states she has not yet seen. Her Bible is on the table. When she’s done, done with the map, she goes over to a cabinet, grabs a bottle of gin and a bottle of tonic water bringing them back to the table. She puts ice in a tumbler and makes her drink. She looks back and forth from the drink to the Bible several times. She touches the Bible keeping her hand there. Then, she pushes the Bible away and succumbs to the drink.
INT. CARRIE’S NAVY HOUSING – NIGHT
Gin bottle is empty. Carrie is passed out on the couch.
EXT. NAVY BASE MECHANICAL WORKSHOP – DAY
The bus is completed. Simple design, functional – but feminine.
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Karin Hallen´s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that I’m struggling with my turning point. It feels weak. I think I will have to go back to revisit and amp it up. It felt strange to write the Turning Point, but not the scenes between the Inciting Incident and the Turning Point, but I trust the proven system. I am also learning to keep in mind 20% in order to move forward. There is so much more I want to do, and so much better I want to do, but for this class I will never be able to follow the plan if I go in depth and attempt to develop ideas and dialogue fully right now. I am learning to live with crappy dialogue for now and not get hung up on it. I’m starting to understand that draft 1 of a speed write is a sketch not the painting.
Outline your Act 1 Turning Point:
Turning point scenes:
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
Beginning.
George holds a lecture to a sparse audience. He talks about himself in a superior way.
Middle
He fails to keep the audience’s attention. The woman who said she’d check out his lecture at the tennis court leaves early. Others follow.
End
He’s left alone. Lonely.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
Beginning
George calls to talk to people/friends. Nobody picks up.
Middle
He tries to talk to hotel receptionist. She doesn’t pay attention.
End
George’s reaction
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
Beginning
George brings Geena out of lamp just to have someone to talk to.
Middle
She argues it’s not under her agreement. He has to make a wish.
EXT. TENNIS COURT – NIGHT
End
He forces her to listen by making her come to play tennis, and he talks/“vents” all the way to the court and while playing late at night.
INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT – DAY
Turning point:
Beginning
George sits by himself at a breakfast table. Brainstorms with himself, writes down possible wishes. Also ideas on to become more successful. Writes down thoughts and ideas.
George looks up and sees other people around him, in couples and in groups. They all look like they are having a good time together, laughing, talking. He’s the only one by himself. He looks very lonely.
Middle
Suddenly realizes as he writes it down the power he has now, in Geena having to stay around for as long as it takes until he’s asked for his three wishes. He writes down Never ask for the last wish!
End
He puts a napkin over his cup and plate and rushes from the table. He returns with a protesting Geena. He says “we’re on our way to play tennis.”
George looks around and fakes having a great conversation at the table. Geena has a huge appetite at the breakfast buffet. Bacon, pancakes with syrup and whipped cream etc. Someone stops by and says to George. I thought you said you were helping her get healthy.
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Write your Act 1 Turning Point:
TURNING POINT SCENES
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
George holds a lecture to a sparse audience. He talks about himself in a superficial way.
GEORGE
( Insert self serving dialogue here. Something along the lines of: )
I’m a very caring person. I can’t help but caring about everyone. I know so many people who struggle with loneliness. Who do all the wrong things. So, you know, I took it upon me to solve the most prevalent problem in today’s society. Loneliness. Because, you know, I’m one of those guys who everyone talks to, pours their heart out to. I have so many friends who feel lonely. Sometimes I think I’m their only friend. Who would I be if I did not put my own life aside to help them. You see, my purpose is to serve. And I am here to be your friend. And to guide you right. All the information and the in depth research I have done over more than three months is in this book. You can pick up a copy today and your life will change. And don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter and Youtube channel.
A MIDDLE AGED WOMAN raises her hand.
MIDDLE AGED WOMAN
How did you do your research? Where?
GEORGE
Well, uhm, everywhere. I mean we live in a lonely society. You know, social media and everything.
The Blond Woman who said she’d check put his lecture at the tennis court earlier shakes her head, stands up and leaves, muttering loud enough for people to hear.
BLOND WOMAN
Waste of time.
MIDDLE AGED WOMAN
I’m asking for my daughter. I’m worried about her. Did you come to any new findings or conclusions?
A BEARDED MAN leans over and whispers to her.
BEARDED MAN
He doesn’t have anything. He’s just trying to sell books. Can’t you tell?
The Bearded man stands up and leaves. So does the Middle Aged Woman. George is left in the room by himself. He looks out over the empty chairs. He slowly gathers his untouched pile of books.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY – MOMENTS LATER
George sits down in an armchair and puts the box of books by his side. He takes out his phone and scrolls through contacts. He calls several people just to talk to them. Nobody picks up. He leaves several messages along the same lines.
GEORGE
(Insert several similar messages here: Something along the lines of:)
Heeey, man. What are you up to. It’s me George. Georgie. George the man. I’m here on my awesome super busy book tour. It’s going amaaazing. Anyhooooeew, I just thought I’d give you a call and say hi, but I’m sure you’re out and about doing something. Maybe you forgot your phone at home. Anyway, we’ll talk soon. Call me a’right. Later.
George makes four phone calls before he gives up. That concludes most of his contact list aside from “Mom”. He scrolls past her name several times hesitating, but he refrains from dialing her.
He stands up and walks over to the front desk, where Ella is on duty. He smiles.
GEORGE
Well, hey there. Ella.
Ella doesn’t pay attention. He leans in over the desk tries to check what she’s doing on the computer.
GEORGE
What did you think of my book?
Ella looks irritated. She turns the screen away from George.
ELLA
I didn’t have time to read it. Please, Mr. Wallow. This is confidential. I have people’s credit card information here.
GEORGE
Well, how about a drink at the pool when you get off and I’ll recite my book to you personally?
ELLA
No thank you. Excuse me I have work to do.
Ella turns to a family standing behind George, gives them her brightest smile and waves them up to the desk. The family pushes themselves between George and the front desk, as if he is invisible. One of the two children drops her sticky lollipop in George’s open box of books. She cries. Her mom gives George a dirty look as if it’s his fault. She bends down and picks up the lollipop, which has already stuck to the paper. It rips half the book cover off. What’s left of the title is (Insert words that communicates that George is utterly alone)
INT. HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT
George rubs the lamp for Geena to come out. She pops up, grimacing with muscle pain from playing tennis.
GEENA
Your wish is…ouch… my command. Thank you sweet Mama Genie in Heaven, that you’re ready for your next wish. Retirement has never looked better.
GEORGE
Actually, no I am not going to make a wish right now. I thought we could just talk, you know. Get to know each other. Like friends.
GEENA
That’s not under my agreement.
GEORGE
I know, but just for fun.
Geena’s eyes widen in disbelief.
GEENA
Fun? You need to wish!
GEORGE
And you need to stop being condescending.
GEENA
Ok, bye.
Geena starts shrinking to swosh back in the lamp.
GEORGE
Actually, I was actually calling you out to play tennis. We’re playing tennis!
Geena stops shrinking at half size.
GEENA
No, please.
GEORGE
Yes! Now.
Geena returns to normal size looking sullen. George hands her a tennis racket.
EXT. TENNIS COURT – NIGHT
It’s pitch black around the court, where the lights don’t reach. George and Geena enter the court from the darkness.
GEORGE
…so then I just continued on that track. I mean it’s not that my mother didn’t care. I mean I’m sure she cared in her own way. You know what I mean right?
GEENA
Sure. Do you want to play, or what?
GEORGE
Yeah, yeah, of course.
They go to their positions and George serves. Geena misses the ball. The entire time they play George talks and vents to Geena about things.
GEORGE
(Insert dialogue here that shows that George needs to vent and talk to a friend. End with something like:)…people Don’t get it. They just think about themselves.
Geena runs herself ragged at the court and George keeps talking, oblivious to her exhaustion and misery.
INT. HOTEL RESTAURANT – DAY
George sits by himself at a breakfast table with a laptop. He looks at a registration page for an upcoming speaking engagement of his. There is only one name registered. It’s his own. George closes the laptop, with a tired sigh. He takes out a notepad and starts scribbling. He makes three columns. On the top of the first one he writes: What I have going for me: The second column is titled: Success ideas. Third column: Ideas for Wishes from genie. He brainstorms with himself, and writes down ideas, thoughts and possible wishes. Also ideas on to become more successful. Writes down thoughts and ideas. He ponders.
George looks up and sees other people around him, in couples and in groups. They all look like they are having a good time together, laughing, talking. He’s the only one by himself at a table. He looks around for a long time at all the people enjoying themselves together. He looks lonely.
He returns his attention to the notepad. Suddenly he scribbles something and gets excited. Under the column “What I have going for me” he has scribbles. Power! Geena under my control until I’ve made three wishes. Must do what I ask. Under Success Ideas he writes: Never ask for last wish!
He puts a napkin over his cup and plate and rushes from the table. He returns with a protesting Geena.
GEENA
This is not under our agreement.
GEORGE
Of course it is. We’re on our way to play tennis.
Geena sighs.
GEENA
I don’t know what’s more sore from your tennis, my ears or my legs.
Geena notices the breakfast buffet and her whole demeanor changes. She instantly perks up.
GEENA
Oh!
She heads for the buffet.
Geena returns to the table with several plates filled to the brim with bacon, eggs, home-fries, pancakes with lots of syrup and whipped cream etc.
George fakes having a great conversation at the table. He speaks and laughs loudly, making sure people around notice what a good time he is having. He calls Geena “my friend” several times. It’s a one sided conversation. Geena gives George no attention. She has a huge appetite and eats with great enthusiasm. She tries to wave down a waiter for a refill of her coke. George sees the opportunity to interact show his helpful nature.
GEORGE
Hey waiter! More coke for my friend here! And syrup, more syrup.
The Tennis Woman, who George bragged to about helping Geena with her health stops by the table. She eyes Geena wolfing down bacon and pancakes with impressive speed. The waiter brings her more coca cola.
TENNIS WOMAN
I thought you said you were helping her get healthy.
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JAYE’S TURNING POINT 1 SCENES
What I learned is that the turning point of Act 1 is a plot twist. It has to be timed right, and there has to be sufficient setups to make it truly impactful.
Here, Villain has a nervous breakdown from losing his powers and gaining new ones that he has no understanding of:
EXT. CITY – DAY
A Metro bus drives through town. Passes a bus stop and angry
DAVE (40s) yells and waves his hands and coffee in the air.INT. BUS (MOVING) – SAME
Villain catches sight of the man in the mirrors. Screeches the
bus to a halt.EXT. BUS STOP – SAME
Dave watches as the bus slams on its brakes. The doors open.
He grumbles and makes his way to the waiting bus.
DAVE
Fuckn’ incompetent…INT. BUS – SAME
Dave steps aboard and scans his pass as Villain closes the doors
behind him.DAVE
What the hell’s wrong with you?
Didn’t you see me stan–Dave’s voice trails as he lowers his pass and makes eye contact
with Villain, who is taking to his feet. He drops his coffee.Dave’s jaw drops, regret immediately fills his eyes, and he takes
a step backward, hitting his back against the closed door.VILLAIN
I’ve been having a bad day.Beads of sweat break out across Dave’s forehead.
DAVE
I… I didn’t–Villain grabs his throat.
VILLAIN
I was gonna let you live, but you
just couldn’t let me go.He raises Dave off the ground.
Dave drops his briefcase and he gasps for words.
DAVE
I’m– sorry.Villain throws Dave down the aisle of the bus. His head CLANGS
against a handrail before he hits the ground.Villain walks toward him as he tries to scramble to his feet.
Dave’s head is sliced open.Villain reaches him and grabs a chunk of his blood-soaked hair.
VILLAIN
What’s your name?Dave’s eyes fill with tears.
DAVE
Dave.VILLAIN
You ever had a bad day, Dave?Dave nods and his nose forms a bubble of snot. Villain shakes
Dave’s head violently.VILLAIN
Yes, Dave, you’ve had some
pretty bad days, I’m sure.He pulls him close, face to face.
VILLAIN
You ever think you’d have
this bad a day?!Dave squeezes his eyes shut and a trail of blood rolls down his
forehead and under his eye like a tear.DAVE
(pleads)
I’m sorry.Villain laughs and shakes Dave’s head.
VILLAIN
I’m sure you are, Dave!Dave opens his eyes. Stares directly into Villain’s face. His lip
trembles and he wets his pants.Villain stops. He stares at Dave. Suddenly uncomfortable.
VILLAIN
What are you doing?Dave quaking with fear, begs.
DAVE
I don’t know.Villain looks at Dave like he’s an alien creature. He lets him go
like he’s been infected. He stands upright.He goes back to the driver’s seat and opens the doors. The rear
door opens, but Dave doesn’t seem to notice.Villain stares at him in the mirror.
VILLAIN
Get the fuck outta here, Dave!Dave snaps back to reality. Grateful. He scrambles to the door,
slipping on blood, and runs out.Villain shuts the doors and covers his face with his hands.
VILLAIN
(agonized)
What’s happening to me??INT. HERO’S HOME – DAY
Cell phone rings GOD BLESS AMERICA on the bureau.
Hero answers tentatively.
HERO
Mayor, I’m not feeling well today–The muffled voice of the Mayor through the phone. Hero’s
face drops.HERO
I’ll be right there.INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – DAY
Hero bursts through the doors. Villain has the Mayor pinned
against the wall, held by the throat, feet dangling in mid-air.Hero throws his hands to his hips; chest puffed.
HERO
Let him–Villain drops the Mayor and rushes over, with unexpected
desperation. He takes Hero’s shoulders and stares deep into his eyes.VILLAIN
You’re fucked up, aren’t you?Hero looks at the Mayor. Mayor looks confused as hell.
VILLAIN
(a desperate whisper)
I know you are. You’re
fucking fucked.Hero purses his lips and looks back at Villain. Villain pleads.
VILLAIN
Please help me. -
Judy Abingdon
Turning point scenes lesson 11
Juliet’s mother is upset about the argument, not being able to talk to her overbearing husband she goes to see Inez. Unbeknownst to Juliet, they decide on a plan. Juliet, needing a new plan goes to see her Godmother, Inez, and asks for her help. She floats the idea of staying with her. Inez does not tell her she has spoken with her mother and says she will consider it.
INT. INEZ’S HOUSE EVENING
INEZ
What is going on over there Julia? I thought everything was good now that you decided to have this baby.
JULIA ( JULIET’S MOTHER)
Larry is happy about that or was at first, now he is just impatient and teenagers are not easy. I know it must be hard for her not knowing her own father
INEZ
And whose fault is that?
JULIA
I know, I know but I could never let her know how reckless I was, and you must keep your promise about that.
INEZ
I told you, you have my word, and I always keep it don’t I?! But maybe that would just make you more human in her eyes.
JULIA
I just can’t
INEZ
Hmmmmm! So what is it this time?
JULIA
We found a photo of Juliet and a friend taken in our house when we were not home
INEZ
Well, I guess that’s the first time in the history of parenting that that’s ever happened!
JULIA
the other girl in the photo was black and Larry went crazy!
INEZ
Are you serious now! Julia this is not like you at all. Hell, I remember when Josephine Baker was in town and you begged and pleaded me to go with you and I know you have a Bo Diddly record, you know that black people are no different than us, maybe just more talented! And what did you say to this outrage?
JULIA
You can’t talk to Larry when he gets like that. Best to let it blow over.
INEZ
Well, that sets a good example! Look we are living in a different world now. It’s not like back home. Women are waking up and demanding a better life, did you see those women marching for equal rights the other day?
Julia
N – NO
INEZ
Well, you can be sure Juliet knows about it and wishes you would join them.
JULIA
I just don’t know how to talk to Juliet anymore.
INEZ
Well, can you blame her for acting up when her own mother does not stand up for her?
I’ll blame it on your hormones for now, but there is a gulf between you two as wide as the Atlantic ocean, you are going to have to work on that. In the meantime, I propose you let Juliet come stay with me, at least till the baby comes. That way everyone gets a break and cools off.
JULIA
Really, do you want to take that on?
INEZ
Juilet and I get on great. Mary ( her sister) may be a hard sell but I think we can give it a shot.
JULIA
It does sound tempting, but I don’t want her to think she gets rewarded for bad behavior.
INEZ
Don’t worry. She has asked to come talk with me, I think I know how that conversation will go.
JULIA
OK cuz, I’LL leave it with you. Thanks for being there for me again!
INEZ
Always and forever, Love ya cuz!
They part ways, each looking pleased.
EXT. INEZ’S YARD DAY
JULIET
You just could not believe how ugly he was, and then he just went off and turned on his favorite show, All in the Family, I’d tell him it was satire but I don’t think he would get it! WHAT does she see in him anyway?
INEZ
I know it sounds like a cop out but marriage is not easy. It takes compromise , at least until we can get men to grasp the idea of feminism. It might take a few decades.
JULIET
Well, I think you have the right idea, I’m never getting married!
INEZ
(laughing) Can I hold you to that!? Listen, I don’t get a free ride. I have to live with Mary remember?! Sometimes I think a man would be easier! Unless you are going to live in a hut by yourself there will always be compromise with others.
JULIET
I guess, but right now I feel like a slave and a prisoner! I really have to get away from those two. My mother has lost her grip on reality and I think she’s forgotten she was ever a kid. Do you think there is any way I could come and stay with you? Mary’s son is leaving soon, isn’t he?
INEZ
WHOA, pumpkin! Your brain has been working overtime! That’s quite a request. But you know with your mom getting ready to have the baby and tempers flaring it might be worth considering.
JULIET
(running over to hug her, hard) OH, Inez, you are the bomb, the coolest, I knew you would dig it
INEZ
Just hold onto your bippie, we do need to speak with your parents first
JULIET
AWWWWW yuck, but I have faith in you INez.
Gotta run
end 1st act
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Mary and Rich Chamberlin’s Turning Point
What I learned doing this assignment is every setup leads to that first turning point, and as it materializes on the page here, we’re getting even more excited about this screenplay.
1. Outline your Act 1 Turning Point.
Morty Resists input from someone else on his magnum opus screenplay. Jax thinks its a game, plays along but knows Morty’s ideas are out of date, so plans
to teach him a lesson.
INT.- DINER- NIGHT
Turning Point – The two can’t even agree on whose place to start working together at. They settle for a nearby diner and have their waitress judge whose idea they should develop. Jax wins, but pays for dinner.
2. Complete First Act Outlines, Write your Act 1 Turning Point.
Outline KEY SCENE 4:
INT.-SCHOOL CLASSROOM- DAY
Class is over. Morty’s surprised to find Jax outside waiting for him, who tells him to forget about getting a good grade
in this class. He’s not working with him.
Morty talks (or argues) Jax’s ear off and bargains with him, offering to buy dinner at his favorite diner if he will just
entertain his concept. He asks him if he can give him a ride. Morty will buy “the kid” ala Jax dinner and drive him home.
Jax’s father text messages him, saying “I’ve sent the Limo for you.” Jax agrees to ride with Morty.
Outline KEY SCENE 5:
EXT.-CAR-NIGHT
Jax is introduced to Morty’s car, “Mabel”. Jax agrees, but as soon as Morty starts up the car and Jax hears the extra loud muffler and feels the death trap of a car, Jax wants to get out. Morty coerces Jax to get in, dinner awaits. In the car, Morty and Jax argue back and forth. Morty calls Jax “kid.” Jax calls Morty “old man.”
TP SCENE 6:
INT. DEL’S DINER – EVENING
In a red vinyl-clad booth, MORTY and JAX sit across from each other.
MORTY
So, Jax Smith, what do you like to write?
JAX
Nothing.
MORTY
That’s weird.
JAX
I’m like that.
MORTY
Like what? You like to torture yourself so you sign up for a writing class. Makes sense.
JAX
Parents.
MORTY
Oh, I get it. Your parents torture you by signing you up for a writing class…That’s crap.
JAX
Crap?
MORTY
Yeah. It’s crap being forced to do something you don’t want to.
JAX
It’s complicated.
MORTY
Isn’t it always?
JAX
Look, I’m just marking time.
MORTY
Yeah. Well, you don’t want the $500 bucks that’s your business. But I do, so mark time on your own time and not my time.
JAX
That’s lousy writing.
Morty just looks at Jax.
JAX (CONT’D)
You used the word time three times.
MORTY
What do you care, kid?
JAX
Are you gonna’ call me kid, like, the whole time?
MORTY
Yeah. Probably.
JAX
Okay, old man.
MORTY
Yeah. (he snuffs a laugh) It’s true…Okay, how about we use each other’s names like civilized people even if we’re not?
JAX
What kind of name is Morty any how?
MORTY
An old one kid. What kind of name is Jax?
JAX
(snuffles a laugh) A young one…Okay, Morty. You’re kinda funny. I like funny. So, what the hell, I’ll beat out a screenplay with you.
MORTY
Great! I’ve got ideas. You got any? No. Okay. So listen, kid, this screenplay, I see it taking place during World War Two. It’s about these
fly-boys who shoot down nips.
JAX
Is politically incorrect somewhere in your vocabulary?
MORTY
Yeah, My Dad voted for Ike.
JAX
He voted for candy? Awesome, I’ll fail outta’ this school, yet.
MORTY
I’m not gonna’ fail to deposit that $500 bucks in my bank account.
JAX
Two fifty.
A WAITRESS approaches their table.
WAITRESS
What can I get you gents?
MORTY
Cuppa’ joe. None of that fancy cream or sugar.
JAX
Bring me his cream and double the sugar.
WAITRESS
Great. Eight p.m. and I’m serving the odd couple.
She leaves.
MORTY
So, I was saying.
JAX
Yeah, yeah. Boring.
MORTY
It’s Shakespeare versus Hitler, kid. Pure Shakespeare.
JAX
You mean ancient History, old man. What could be more exciting?
MORTY
I gave you first dibs.
JAX
Look, how about three kids fall into a wormhole, catch onto the slipstream of a warp driven space
ship, and fly 50,000 light years across the galaxy to fight flesh eating gorgons.
MORTY
A what hole?
Jax slaps his forehead with the palm of his hand and rolls his eyes.
MORTY (CONT’D)
Okay. I’ll tell ya’ what. I’ll bet you our dinner that my idea’s better than yours.
The Waitress returns.
JAX
And here comes our judge now.
The Waitress sets the drinks down in front of each.
JAX (CONT’D)
Beautiful, which movie would you go to see? A tired old World War Two picture. . .
MORTY
It’s Shakespeare versus Hitler.
JAX
Or three kids going through a wormhole to the other side of the galaxy to fight flesh eating monsters?
WAITRESS
Let me guess. You’re World War Two. (She nods at Morty) And the looker is the wormhole. (She nods at Jax)
Flesh eating monsters never tip. Then again, the latest box office take for a sci-fi thriller was $100 million dollars. Sorry, black coffee, cream
double sugar gets it.
Jax makes a fist pump in the air.
JAX
Yeah! Beautiful, I’ll take the steak and egg dinner, a tall stack double, and throw in a rack of bacon. Everythings better with bacon.
(he smiles)
This is gonna’ be a beautiful relationship.
WAITRESS
Sorry looker, got three kids and a husband at home.
MORTY
(under his breath) I’ll wait for the bacon coma, and then – full speed ahead for WW Two.
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Lesson 11 – Bernadette Wilson – Act 1 Turning Point
What I learned in this assignment is that I needed to brainstorm some possibilities and keep going or else, I’ll get stuck. So pressing on!
FADE TO:
INT – DR. SONYA’S GUEST BEDROOM – DAY
Brinda wakes up early. She realizes the horror of yesterday and wants to somehow fix something she can’t.
She puts her clothes on and slips out of the door.
INT. – ELEVATOR – DAY
While taking the elevator down, she reaches into her pocket and notices the film that she took out of Jesse’s camera.
She knows what she has to do.
INT. JESSE’S LOFT DARKROOM – DAY
Brinda gets to the loft. And inside the darkroom.
She proceeds to develop the film.
The pictures are of blonde woman, but she hides her face underneath the satin sheets in every frame. There’s a little of a eyelined eye. She looks as though she’s imitating Marilyn Monroe.
THERE’S A SOUND OF SOMEONE COMING INTO THE LOFT.
Brinda listens from the door. She’s scared about who might be there.
She looks around for an instrument to use but there is nothing.
She turns off the red light in the room.
She peeks out of the room.
It’s Cal looking around and for something.
PLACEHOLDER: Maybe make this from Cal’s perspective.
He gets scared because he knows someone is in there. He takes out his gun and almost pulls the trigger. Out comes Brinda.
CAL
Jesus.
BRINDA
I’m sorry. I…
CAL
You almost bought it kid, like your boyfriend.
BRINDA
I’m sorry.
CAL
What are you doin here?
BRINDA
I remembered this morning that when I came to the loft yesterday, I noticed some shot film in his camera so I wanted to develop it and bring to you.
CAL
Really.
BRINDA
It wasn’t like I was hiding it.
CAL
You shouldn’t be here.
BRINDA
This is Jesse and my space too.
CAL
It’s a crime scene.
BRINDA
Doesn’t a crime scene have blood in it?
Cal is just incensed by this. He can’t answer.
BRINDA
I’m developing the film.
CAL
And?
BRINDA
Have a look.
They walk into
INT. – JESSE’S DARKROOM – DAY
The pictures are developing in the trays. Some are hanging up.
CAL
Do you know this person?
BRINDA
Never saw her in my life, but she could be familiar.
INT. POLICE OFFICE – CAL’S DESK – DAY
CAl’s boss is looking at the prints.
BOSS
How could we possibly have any idea who this is.
CAL
I’m sayin it’s a start.
BOSS
The report came back. The body was full of oleander.
CAL
So he was dead before she cut it out of him.
BOSS
You sure it’s a girl? With all the crazies these two were hangin with/
CAL
You think it’s a queen?
BOSS
Would a broad do this. I don’t know.
PLACEHOLDER: They find out that Jesse was poisoned first before the victim had his eye cut out.
They find out that he car was registered to a Dr. Jacobson on the upper east side.
CAL
Swanky guy.
BOSS
Go up and see what he’s about.
Cal is looking at Brinda. What do we do about her and her friend?
BOSS
Let’s talk to the queers too.
The jailers take Maybelle out of the cell and he is led into the office where Brinda is. She is beaten up a little.
BRINDA
Did you have to do this?
BOSS
You need to shut up missy, you’re not off the hook.
Maybelle sits down. They show her the pics.
BOSS
You recognize this person, sweetie?
MAYBELLE
I have no idea. Looks like a nice wig.
BOSS
One of you girls know where to get nice wigs?
MAYBELLE
A few places. That looks like a Bergdolf.
PLACEHOLDER: This is where they try to rough her up a bit but Brinda protects her friend. The Boss goes a little psycho.
What they do next is go to Dr. Jacobson’s place.
INT. DR. JACOBSON’S TOWNHOUSE – DAY.
PLACEHOLDER: Dr. Jacobson is the notrious dr. Feelgood who had a party that Jesse attended.
Cal asks Doc and Mrs. Jacobson if Jesse was there at the party. Who was he with and when did he leave.
Why does he have your car?
Doc Jacobson said he did not know he had the car. I reported it stolen that next morning.
Cal is frustrated.
INT. BRINDA’S APARTMENT – DAY.
Brinda is mending the eye of Maybelle.
Placeholder: This should be as they establish their friendship and think about what Jesse might have done.
MAYBELLE
Ouch.
BRINDA
I know it hurts but it won’t leave a scar this way.
MAYBELLE
So much for trick trade tonight.
BRINDA
You’ll be alright.
PALCEHOLDER: They are really good friends. Maybelle is really protective of Brinda as well as Jesse was.
Maybelle says he’ll stay with her until they get this figured out.
Brinda is happy about that.
EXT. MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE – NIGHT
Mimi and another man are driving on a empty but swirly highway.
PLACEHOLDER: Maybe this could be in a movie theatre.
In silouette Mimi drugs the guy and he falls asleep. It’s a midnight movie. The movie is a Marilyn Monroe Movie – Some like it hot.
EXT. OFF THE CLIFF – NIGHT
The next scene we see the mustang go off the cliff. With Mimi staring from the cliff, smoking a cigarette.
TURNING POINT:
They try a setup at a gentlmen’s club with drag queens who dress up as Marilyn Monroe. Only they have the wrong person. It goes badly. For Brinda and Maybelle.
PLACEHOLDER:
SCENE with Brinda and Dr. Sonya in her office telling her to take it easy on the thesis.
Brinda says if she doesn’t work on the thesis she will not know what to do.
Dr. Sonya insists. Brinda is sad. Can’t she still interview patients?
PLACEHOLDER:
Dr. Sonya is interviewed by Cal. She knows Brinda’s history better than anyone.
CAl needs to look into her patients files. Dr. Sonya does not believe it is one of her study.
Cal is pretty intimidated by her.
Even though Cal thinks psychology is for crazies.
Dr. Sonya lets him know that he might need it more than anyone.
Turning Point:
Another person is killed. Brinda can’t participate in the thesis work with Dr. Sonya. She asks if she can help solve the problem.
Maybe the ATTORNEY or someone who is close to Brinda. The police decide to train her in how to shoot a gun and how to be girly so that she can portray a cigeratte girl in another club.
They have to plant Brinda as the bait that will bring the killer forward.
She finally agrees after another person who is close to her is killed.
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Mickey Gonzalez Turning Point 1 Scenes
“What I learned doing this assignment is writing true experience and let reality set in an outline. let be it fiction to fact, fact to fiction. make the writing of the script work better. later get to it.?
Outline Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
Beginning: Mark is planning to be at Case Western University. He will take his Vast collection along with the manuscript. And if it doesn’t work out. He will plan get to Yale University.
Middle: He believes he will find someone to publish his work at Case Western University, and this is the best way. He will take his Vast collection along with the manuscript.
End: Mark arrives at Case Western University.
EXT. CASE WESTERN – DAY
Beginning: He at the door. The door opens to the inside of the building. There should have been someone there that he talked to on the phone. He is carrying a stack of his vast collection and the manuscript.
Middle: He goes inside to find no body. There is no one in the building. They have seen him and hid from him.
End: Suddenly, someone from the inside slams the door with such force that the door and wall vibrate. Someone shut the door in his face. He sees two women looking at him through the walkway glass that connects the two buildings.
Write Act 1 Turning Point.
INT. APARTMENT – DAY
Mark makes a phone call. He starts packing the collection of writings and the manuscript.
EXT. PARKING LOT – DAY
He steps out of a car. He makes sure he has the collection of writings and the manuscript.
EXT. CASE WESTERN – DAY
He walks along a small sidewalk holding the collection and the manuscript
INT. TAYLOR HALL – DAY
He knocks on the door. He looks up and sees a walkway that attaches the second floor to the next building. The door opens.
INT. TAYLOR HALL – DAY
Mark introduces himself. No one answers. There are sounds of someone rushing up the staircase.
EXT. TAYLOR HALL – DAY
Mark takes a step back to look outside of the door he just walked in. He notices two women take a hurried look at him from the walkway. Suddenly, with great force someone slam the door shut in his face. He can feel the door and the wall vibrate.
Sometime later these two
women are introduced on “The Today Show -
Stafford’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned from this assignment was how attack key scenes to keep my creative juices flowing. The more I tap into said scenes, the better I’ll be able to plug in scenes later.
Act 1 Turning Point Scenes
- Beginning – Mateo gives Glorivette a ride home.
- Middle – During the ride home, they get to know each other better.
- End – Glorivette invites Mateo into her apartment.
INT. MATEO’S CAR – NIGHT (MOVING)<div>
Mateo drives with Glorivette in the passenger seat.
GLORIVETTE
I appreciate you giving me a lift. You didn’t have to.
MATEO
Not a problem. I, uh, didn’t have anywhere to be tonight, so…
GLORIVETTE
Got it.
Few beats. Silence in the car.
MATEO
How ’bout some music, huh?
Mateo turns on the his radio —
GLORIVETTE
Go for it.
Rap music begins to play. Mateo nods his head as he cruises.
GLORIVETTE (CONT’D)
You listen to rap, huh?
MATEO
You mind?
GLORIVETTE
No… not at all. Can’t say I’m surprised.
MATEO (shrugs)
What I can I say? When you’ve been raised around Mexican music all your life, you grow tired of it.
GLORIVETTE
I agree. You’re not alone, and I’m almost twice your age.
Mateo quick glances at Glorivette in disbelief —
MATEO
Shut up. How old are you? I mean, I know you’re not supposed to ask a woman her age, but… Twice my age? No!
GLORIVETTE
Yeah, I’m 42, believe it or not.
MATEO
Get the fuck…
GLORIVETTE
Seriously.
MATEO
You look damn for your age, Glorivette. Like, seriously. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying “42” is old… but you look damn good.
GLORIVETTE (flattered)
Thanks for the compliment.
MATEO
I’m not shittin’ you! Like, you look better than most girls my age.
GLORIVETTE
You’re full of it.
MATEO
No, I’m not. All truth. What’s your secret?
GLORIVETTE (chuckles)
A lot of fruit and agua, I don’t know…
Glorivette giggles.
MATEO
You need to tell me the fountain of youth you’re getting your water from, eh?
They laugh.
GLORIVETTE
Why are you so funny, Mateo?
Beat.
MATEO
So where’re you’re from?
GLORIVETTE
Originally from Mexico. I left and relocated to New York for school. Then I was forced to moved because of an abusive relationship.
MATEO
Good thing you got out when you did.
GLORIVETTE
I’d rather not talk about it, okay?
MATEO
Of course. My apologies.
GLORIVETTE
It’s fine. Just hard to discuss, you know?
MATEO
You don’t have to explain; I understand.
Glorivette sniffs and nods.
MATEO (CONT’D)
How far we got?
GLORIVETTE
This is the street. That building there.
Mateo pulls in front of an apartment; puts the car in park.
MATEO
So… here we are.
GLORIVETTE
You wanna come in? For a drink.
Beat. Mateo isn’t sure how to respond.
MATEO
Uh… nah, I should get home.
GLORIVETTE
Just a drink for the road. Come on, it’ll be quick. It’s the least I can do.
Mateo thinks on it.
MATEO
Ah, one drink won’t hurt, huh?
Glorivette smiles.
- Beginning – Mateo sits on Glorivettes couch. Marisol calls; Mateo rushes off the phone.
- Middle – Mateo and Glorivette have a drink.
- End – Glorivette seduces Mateo; they have sex.
INT. GLORIVETTE’S APARTMENT – NIGHT</div><div>
Mateo sits on the couch. His phone VIBRATES. He looks at his phone —
MATEO
Shit!
PHONE SCREEN
Marisol’s calling.
Mateo ignores the call.
GLORIVETTE (O.S.)
You OK?
MATEO
Uh, yeah…
Mateo’s phone vibrates again —
MATEO
Fu…(answers phone)Marisol? Mari, what’s up, baby? Everything okay?
MARISOL (V.O.)
Yeah. Teo, you’re sleep?
MATEO
No. No. I am really tired, though. How was the service? Your familia hanging in there?
MARISOL (V.O.)
We’ll get through, baby. How was the party? I feel like shit for missing you accept your award–
MATEO
It’s fine, baby. It’s fine. Family first. I know you would’ve been here otherwise.
MARISOL (V.O.)
As long as you know. I love you, Teo.
MATEO
I know(fake yawns)Baby, it’s been a long day, and I just want to get some shut eye.
MARISOL (V.O.)
Oh… okay, babe, get you some rest. I’ll keep you posted on when I’ll be home.
MATEO
Sounds good. Give everyone my love.
MARISOL (V.O.)
I will. I love you, and congrats on your award.
MATEO
Love you too, baby. Bye.
Mateo hangs up.
Glorivette wears a night gown with lingerie hidden underneath. A bottle of tequila and shot glasses in her hands.
Mateo gulps. In awe at Glorivette’s attire as she joins him on the couch —
GLORIVETTE
Thought I’d slip into something more comfortable before I went to sleep.
MATEO (clears throat)
Uh, someone is gonna sleep well tonight. Comfortable, I see.
Glorivette giggles. Pours she and Mateo a shot each.
GLORIVETTE (raises glass)
One drink.
Mateo raises his glass —
MATEO
Salud.
They down their drinks. Set their glasses on the table.
MATEO (CONT’D)
Ahh… Wooo! Guess I should hit the road. Good-night.
GLORIVETTE
Why do you always give me that look, Mateo?
Beat.
MATEO
What-what look?
GLORIVETTE
Like you wanna fuck me.
Mateo’s eyes widened.
GLORIVETTE (CONT’D)
Do you wanna fuck me, Mateo?
Glorivette gives Mateo a seductive stare.
Mateo, gawks at Glorivette like a piece of meat.
They begin to aggressively kiss each other. Mateo lies Glorivette on her back.
Mateo and Glorivette have sex on the couch.
</div>
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Kim Michael McCarthy LESSON 11 KEY SCENE 4: TURNING POINT #1
What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
I learned that… I’m way ahead of these exercises because I have already written 65 plus page of my first draft. I have discovered that I have some overlapping scenes, which I have to correct after I finish my entire first draft.
ACT 1 OUTLINE
INT. GOATS DEN – DAY
BEGINNING: WILLIAM wakes up from a dream where he is being teased by his playmates / friends while playing a game of tag. His mother asks him to do a chore get hay for dinner from the mountain plateau.
EXT. GOLD MOUNTAIN – DAY
MIDDLE: While doing the chore, the bear family tricks WILLIAM into helping them get honey from an out of reach beehive promising WILLIAM that if he helps them, he will get some honey to bring home for dinner along with the hay / grass and surprise his mom.
END: WILLIAM helps the bear family, and they take off from the scene with all the honey.
EXT. GOLD MOUNTAIN – DAY
BEGINNING: WILLIAM feels betrayed by the bear family.
MIDDLE: WILLIAM feeling sad and worthless is too late to go home for dinner.
END: WILLIAM runs away from home.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Kim Michael McCarthy.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Kim Michael McCarthy.
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This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by
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30 DAY SCRIPT – Day#11
Rae’s Turning Point 1 Scenes.
What I learned from this assignment is, great process – my script is now beginning to flow.
OUTLINE – ACT 1 TURNING POINT
BEGINNING:
INT. JOHNSON RESIDENCE – DAY
Jesi awakens, looks a mess, makes coffee. Goes to the living room, collapse into her father’s recliner and cries.
She goes to the office next, finds a letter marked, “Jesi.” It reads, “ My sweet girl, if I should die whatever you do try to hold onto the house – do it for me and your mother. And keep the Sinatra collection, those songs will make you happy.”
MIDDLE:
INT. OFFICE CUBICLE – TWO WEEKS LATER
Jesi is at her desk, on the phone with her father’s Doctor’s office. Learns her father had no bridging insurance, and the surgery bill alone is over one million.
Jesi replies, “What do you mean he’s got Medicare! She listens. “He let his bridging insurance payments lap? He owes that much? Holy Shit!”
INT. HENRY’S OFFICE – DAY
She barges into Henry’s office and says, “I need a friend. But more that that I need leads. Can you help me drum up a few clients?”
She then realizes Henry is completely emersed in something. She asked what it is. He shows her his Haiku. Asks her to sit, shows her the format, tells her it’s a stress reliever. She sits for awhile, but soon gets impatient with the process, thanks Henry and leaves.
END:
INT. OFFICE CUBICLE (CONTINUOUS)
Jesi sits at her desk, throws her head in her hands, looks up and makes a call to her father’s client, the apartment owner. She tells him she is now running Johnson Construction and wants to set up a meeting. And yes, she will be doing all of the building repairs.
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Lora’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is dialogue is easier to write the less you think about it.
Act 1:
INT. PHOENIX’S HOUSE – MORNING
Phoenix is late for her school function. She barely has enough time to shower, throw on her uniform and dash out the door.
INT. PHOENIX’S HIGH SCHOOL – MORNING
Phoenix arrives to school with her hair soaking wet. HALEY (light brown hair, sassy attitude) is there, in the same uniform, waiting for her.
HALEY
Good morning, sunshine! What time did you get in this morning?
PHOENIX (sighs)
I haven’t been to bed yet.
HALEY
Holy shit! How did it go?
Phoenix notices LEVI (tall, athletic, short brown hair, brown eyes) hanging nearby, listening intently.
PHOENIX (lowering her voice)
It was… interesting. I’ll tell you about it later.
After the event is over, Phoenix can hardly keep her eyes open.
HALEY
Will you go to that demo derby with me this afternoon?
Phoenix shakes her head, but before she can say no, Haley sweetens the deal.
HALEY
I’ll drive and you can take a nap on the way.
Phoenix groans.
HALEY
Please?
PHOENIX (groaning)
Ugh, fine.
EXT. DEMO DERBY – NOON
Phoenix is sitting on a picnic table, trying not to fall asleep. Haley, JOEY (Chandler’s roommate, brown hair, backwards hat), BRYCE (stocky, blonde, glasses) and others are chatting nearby.
JOEY (in a singsong voice to Phoenix)
Did you have a good time last night?
PHOENIX (exhausted, but nonchalant)
It was pretty fun.
JOEY (smiling coyly)
I know, I heard. Chandler is still at home sleeping it off.
Joey winks at her before he is pulled into a different conversation a little further away. Bryce puts his foot on the bench of the picnic table and leans into Phoenix.
BRYCE (quietly)
You’ve got to stop messing around with Chandler.
PHOENIX
Huh?
BRYCE (lighting a cigarette and taking a drag)
I’m serious. He doesn’t deserve you.
PHOENIX (amused)
Why do you say that?
BRYCE (blowing out smoke and waving his cigarette in the air)
Look, Chandler is a great friend of mine. He does like you, but the two of you are never going to go anywhere. He’s got a lot of growing up to do and it’s not going to happen anytime soon. Do yourself a favor and don’t waste your time, you’re only going to get hurt.
Before Phoenix can reply, Joey and his friends come back. Bryce joins their conversation like he hadn’t just given Phoenix a warning.
HALEY (to Phoenix)
Are you ready to go?
Phoenix nods and hops off the table. Bryce gives her a hug before she leaves.
BRYCE (whispering)
Remember what I said.
Phoenix and Haley walk to the car and get in.
INT. HALEY’S CAR – MID AFTERNOON
HALEY
What was that all about?
PHOENIX
Bryce told me to stay away from Chandler. He said I’m wasting my time.
HALEY (shrugging)
Everyone knows Chandler likes you. I’d say if you like him, go for it.
PHOENIX
Last night, Chandler suggested that he and I should date exclusively.
HALEY
And you said yes, right?
Much to Haley’s dismay, Phoenix shakes her head.
PHOENIX
Things between us are good right now and I don’t want to mess that up. Also, he was drunk. It wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have while he was intoxicated. I told him we should see how things go from here and talk about dating a little further down the road.
HALEY
That makes sense. It’s not like he’s going anywhere. He’s clearly smitten with you.
Phoenix smiles as she leans against the headrest and closes her eyes.
INT. PHOENIX’S BEDROOM – LATE AFTERNOON
Phoenix drags herself up the stairs and is asleep before her head hits the pillow. Several hours later her phone rings, which she answers before she’s even awake.
PHOENIX (groggily)
Hello?
STERLING
Hey.
PHOENIX (still half asleep)
Hi… Who am I talking to?
STERLING (casually)
This is Sterling.
PHOENIX (Suddenly awake)
Sterling?
STERLING
Yeah. We met last night.
PHOENIX
Oh, hey. (pauses) I’m really sorry about last night. I didn’t handle things very well.
STERLING (breezily)
It’s not a big deal. (Lengthy pause) Do you think that maybe you and I could go out sometime?
PHOENIX (flustered)
Maybe?
STERLING
I’d like that.
Phoenix and Sterling chat
on the phone for another hour. Conversation is easy and seamless. After they
finally hang up, Phoenix sets her phone down on the nightstand and settles back
into bed. She rolls to face the camera, closes her eyes and grins -
Tyberius Asante’s Turning Point 1 Scene
“What I learned doing this assignment is how to think about the story from the viewpoint of turning points. The turning points drive the characters through the development arc and this need to have a purpose and the desired outcome that makes sense.”
Inciting Incident: Dante suffers a traumatic brain injury after a motorcycle accident leaving Margot to reimagine what her life will be like taking on the role of caretaker to her brain-damaged husband.
Turning Point 1: Margot’s world has been turned upside down due to Dante’s accident. She does not know how to navigate the uncertainty of what her life will be like. She reaches out for help but is unable to find any. She is alone.
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
Key Scene 3: The protagonist reacts emotionally to the Inciting Incident.
BEGINNING: Margot is at home preparing dinner when the phone rings. Margot is notified by police that Dante was in a serious accident.
MIDDLE: Margot is joined by the other racing teammates as they are notified by Margot about what happened.
END: Margot is devasted with the prospect that Dante may not survive. She cannot bear the thought of her perfect life being turned upside down. She feels like she has entered a nightmare.
INT. HOSPITAL – DAY
Beginning: Margot arrives at the hospital after hearing that he was involved in a motorcycle accident.
Middle: Margot informs Tiffany and the racing teammates with the assistance of the hospital social worker.
End: Tiffany arrives back in Illinois and stays the night with Margot in the hospital.
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Christi’s Turning Point 1 Scenes
I learned that mysteries are very different genres. I’ve got the Turning point being the worlds colliding- the detective shows up after the body is discovered. I would say a murder investigation would absolutely be a point of no return.
I’m glad my scenes seem to measure up so far.
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