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Post Day 9 Assignment Here
Click reply and post your assignment here.
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16 Replies
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JAYE’S ACT 1 OPENING SCENES:
INT. HERO’S HOUSE / BEDROOM – LATE AFTERNOONHERO (30s), white, stands before a full-length mirror wearing only
boxers, admiring himself. Tight muscles, ripped abs, unnatural good
looks.He winks at his reflection, and wait…was that a kiss?
INT. HERO’S HOUSE / LIVING ROOM – SAMEHero stands before a bureau. Wears form fitting tights, black and
gold. Cape. Utility belt. Puts on his watch. Pockets a cell phone.
He opens a small, velvet jewelry box; reveals a 4-carat diamond ring.
Pockets it.He checks his hair. Perfect. Goes to the front door.
EXT. CITY STREETS – LATE AFTERNOONHero signs autographs amidst throngs of fans under a cloudy sky.
He points finger guns at admirers and poses for selfies with his
million-dollar smile.On his arm is GIRLFRIEND (20s). Trophy. Dingbat. Sequined dress.
She basks in Hero’s limelight as if it was her own.FAN 1
Where you headed?Hero’s voice is deep and commanding.
HERO
We’re flying to Paris.A beat as he looks at his doe-eyed girlfriend.
HERO
I have a special evening planned.A TRUMPETED rendition of GOD BLESS AMERICA sounds and the
crowd quiets in response. Hero pulls the cell phone out of his
utility belt.HERO
Mayor.Hero listens, his face gets stern, a little embellished for the sake
of the onlookers. Hero hangs up and puffs out his chest.HERO
Duty calls.The crowd waits with bated breath as Hero checks his watch and
turns to his now pouty girlfriend.HERO
I won’t be long.The crowd “AWWs” as he pulls her in at the waist and kisses her,
like the hero that he is.Without further ado, he raises his fist to the sky, and flies off like a
rocket, ruffling skirts and blowing hats off heads.THUNDER RUMBLES IN THE DISTANCE.
EXT. BANK – LATE AFTERNOONAn alarm goes off as VILLAIN (30s), black, in dark gray and
black tights, emerges from the front doors. He’s not worried,
and no one is around to stop him. SIRENS in the distance.He carries a large silver case. He is confident, also ripped, but
nature has been less aesthetically kind to him. He’s rough around
the edges. Gritty.He turns to the right, stopping as hero lands in front of him.
No words. Just searing eye contact. Villain blocks hero’s swing
with the case, which is dented from the blow. Villain spins and
brings the case around again, hitting hero in the side of the head.Hero loses his balance and Villain sees a CITIZEN roughly 50 feet
away, gawking.Villain focuses, eyes glowing red. LIGHT shoots out and sets the
gawker on FIRE! The man screams and runs as Hero gives chase.Villain chuckles and turns the other way. Takes off running at
bullet speed.Hero reaches the man and tackles him. Covers him with his cape.
Police cars and an ambulance turn the corner and Hero stands,
cradling the man in his arms.Emergency response vehicles stop to render aid.
MORE THUNDER. CLOSER. DISTANT LIGHTNING.
EXT. ROOFTOP – SUNSET
Hero scans the city. A light rain falls as thick dark clouds roll in
overhead.Hero’s x-ray vision goes through buildings. Reveals Villain in the
distance, running at high speed at the edge of the city. Rolling
hills and a large lake in the distance. Hero flies after him.EXT. SUBURBS – SUNSET
Villain runs. Rain is now coming down hard.
Behind Villain, Hero flies in fast. Sounds like a jet.
Villain checks over his shoulder and makes a sharp left.
Hero follows as Villain reaches the edge of the lake, then SPRINTS
across the surface of the water!Hero narrows the gap and Villain plunges. Hero follows like a guided
missile.UNDERWATER
[UNDERWATER BATTLE SCENE]
[BACK TO THE CITY – A VERY DESTRUCTIVE FIGHT TAKES PLACE]
[END UP ON…]
EXT. HIGH RISE / ROOFTOP – NIGHTFALL
[EPIC BATTLE SCENE]
Rain has turned to downpour. The two Supers swing, throw each
other to the ground. Punches and blocks, kicks and ducks,
headlocks.Finally, the hold. Bodies and arms locked tightly together, in an
embrace of will and strength. Torso to torso, hip to hip, utility belt
to utility belt. -
Mary and Rich’s Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that speed is King. This is amazingly faster and is like an assembly line, broken down to bare minimum but increasing quality each pass. The quality is now like 20% but done in 10% of the time. Super Cool.
THEME: “DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT’S COVER”, AGEISM, PREJUDICE
Act 1:
INT.-COLLEGE HALLWAY – DAY
Outline –
What’s that old guy doing in school? Morty starts the semester in a wild class and an unusual teacher.
Morty walks toward the back of the class, sees Jax, immediately turns away.
But there’s no seats left – he has no choice but to sit by the strange kid.
First Scene:
INT. COLLEGE HALLWAY – DAY
Show ankle level view of feet walking earing Nike airs, designer shoes, trendy flats, beat up
clogs, clicking high heels traverse the floor, dodging,
skidding, moving. A pair of black Keds barrels past with a
determined gait.
MORTY BERNSTEIN, a 61 year old carries a book and pad clutched to his chest. The binding says, “How To Write A Screenplay.” His
eyes scan the hallway. He opens the Room 27 door and almost runs into a gorgeous female inside talking with a friend.
MORTY
Pardon…me. Hello Betty.
The female frowns, and sits in the front of the room. Morty scans the class, seeing only one desk free in the back. He
fits his big body into the chair, sits with a sigh, and plops his book and pad of paper onto the desktop. He arranges them
neatly and pulls a pen from his smiley face pouch.
Next to him is a young man, JAX SMITH slumped in his chair. His blonde wide mohawk sports a red stripe on each side. He rhythmically taps
his pen on his desktop, making the tattoo of flames quiver on his forearm.
Morty is about to grab Jax’s pencil when a middle-aged woman, MS. BELLA BUSTAMONTE enters and stands in front.
BELLA
Good afternoon. Welcome to Screenwriting 101. If you want a pipeline to Hollywood, you’re in the W-R-I-T-E class.
MORTY
He is the only one in the class that laughs.
BELLA
Tough crowd! O-kay, let’s jump w-rit. . . forget it. In this class we’re going to create a screenplay,
and finish it. Yes, that’s a big deal. . .Now, class, you have a truly priceless opportunity this semester.
We will be entering your little gems in our famous regional independent screenplay contest.
There are various “ooh’s and ah’s” from the class.
STUDENT
Is there a prize for this?
BELLA
The honor of winning…Yeah, I know. Honor don’t pay the ferryman. How does five hundred bucks sound?
Grumbles of approval ripple through the class.
STUDENT
Have any of your students ever won?
BELLA
Yes, why I’ve won myself, so I can definitely show you the ropes. That is, you as in pairs of you.
This contest is for team-writing. That means working with a partner, consulting and giving up your lame
and ego-maniacal ideas, which I’m sure will be a big challenge for most of you.
STUDENT
Aww, man!
BELLA
See what I mean…So, first things first. Each of you pick a partner, which usually ends up being the person sitting
next to you.
People move to partner up. Jax doesn’t budge, eyes staring down at his desk. Morty looks
towards a person on his right, who shakes his head and points to the person on his right, whom he has already paired up
with.
Morty looks in front of him, but that person also is already paired up. He next looks to his left. Jax does not acknowledge him.
MORTY
(waving hand at Jax)
Excuse me. Hello.
Still no response from JAX.
MORTY (CONT’D)
Hey, pen killer! Give it a rest.
Jax looks up from his desk top.
MORTY (CONT’D)
Take a look at your new partner.
Holding out his hand for a shake.
MORTY (CONT’D)
Morty.
JAX
(Staring. After a few seconds)
Whatever.
MORTY
Good to meet you, Whatever.
BELLA
Okay. All partnered up? Good. Lesson one
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Karin Hallén’s Opening Scenes
What I learned from today’s assignment is the value of focusing on the key scenes in the beginning as a way to quickly bring the characters to life. I can already tell that this is a good way to speed up the writing process because it’s easier to get stuck on smaller and transitional scenes than on the key scenes. I also learned to stay away from editing myself. Allowing for some poor dialogue etc This is hard for me. And it’s uncomfortable to post something so “rough” here but I trust that this is part of the learning process for this program.
INT. HOTEL RECEPTION – DAY
GEORGE, 45 walks up to the front desk with a carry-on suitcase in one hand and a printed paper in the other. He glances at a sign in the lobby announcing a seminar by “Brad Brightly.” He frowns. There is nobody behind the desk. George hits the bell on the counter several times in a row, impatiently. He waits less than five seconds before he rings again.
GEORGE
Hello! Hello! Anyone here?
A receptionist appears, wearing a name tag that says ELLA.
ELLA
Hi! Checking in?
GEORGE
Yes! What does it look like? Suitcase, check, reservation printout, check, arriving at check-in time, check.
George waves the paper at Ella. She takes it.
Ella looks at her computer. She makes a puzzled face.
GEORGE
This is the first stop on my book tour. You might have heard of my book already. (Insert book title here.)
George pauses for Ella’s response, to no avail. She types on her keyboard.
GEORGE
It’s expected to be the next New York Times Bestseller. George. George Wallow. THE George Wallow.
George leans over and points at his name on the reservation printout.
ELLA
I’m sorry, Mr. Wallow it seems you don’t have a reservation.
GEORGE
What? It’s right there! On the paper. That’s my reservation number.
ELLA
Is it possible that you canceled it by mistake?
GEORGE
No! It is not possible that I canceled it by mistake. Ella. You made a mistake! And now you’re blaming it on me. Don’t you know who I am?
Ella shakes her head “no”. George looks disappointed. Ella turns around with the reservation printout and whispers to a co-worker.
ELLA
Do you know who he is?
The co-worker glances at George and shakes his head.
ELLA
I am really sorry Mr. Wallow. We’ve been extremely busy with everything surrounding the Brad Brightly event. Our computer system crashed and possibly your reservation got lost then.
Just then BRAD BRIGHTLY, late 30s handsome, smiling, walks through the lobby. Everyone in the lobby stops what they are doing and looks at him and whispers. He waves to Ella as he walks by. She blushes.
GEORGE
So, you do know who Brad Brightly is. Well, that’s just great! (Pause)
Just get me a room.
ELLA
Unfortunately, we’re fully booked.
George fumes.
GEORGE
Oh, but if Brad Brightly needed a room, I’m sure you’d have one, right? Huh? His book is like a frigging comic book. I am saving people from the deadliest disease in modern times. And you can’t even get me a room? Do you even know how to read?
A bypassing guest glances at George, reacting to his rude tone and manners. Ella works hard to stay calm and succeeds.
ELLA
Oh, wait. There is a room. It was under repair but looks like it’s ready now.
Ella hands George keys. George casually “forgets” a copy of his book on the counter. The Title and Tag Line indicates that it’s a personal development book on how to overcome loneliness in today’s society.
INT. HOTEL CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY
George holds a lecture in front of a very sparse audience. His speech is boring. He mainly promotes himself. People leave the room.
INT. HOTEL RECEPTION – DAY
After the lecture, George complains to the hotel manager and blames Brad Brightly for the poor attendance at his lecture. He says that Brad intentionally sabotaged him, stealing his audience. Brad Brightly comes out of another conference room surrounded by fans. The manager stops him. George and Brad stand face to face. Brad is very nice. He’s never heard of George and introduces himself. Sincerely wishes him good luck. George storms out and away from the hotel.
EXT. YARD SALE – DAY
George stops at a yard sale and buys a dusty, ancient-looking oil lamp.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
George rubs the lamp clean with a wet washcloth. Suddenly, there is a WEIRD SOUND, coming from the lamp and it starts shaking in George’s hands. The shape of a woman squeezes out of the lamp and pushes herself through with great effort and grows into a full-size person. GEENA, 50s, a bit chunky, lands heavily on the floor. George screams out loud in shock and fear.
Geena stands up with some effort.
GEENA
Ouch. Stiff joints.
Geena smiles at George. She makes a dramatic gesture.
GEENA
Geena. Your wish is my command.
George looks like a deer caught in headlight.
GEORGE
Huh?
Geena does some stretching exercises. She takes up most of the floor space.
GEENA
Aahh, feels good to be out.
GEORGE
Who are you? What is going on? What are you doing in my room?
GEENA
In which order would you like me to address those questions?
GEORGE
Get out! I’m calling The Police!
George tries to push Geena. She stands rock solid, not moving an inch.
GEENA
Sorry, no can do. Not until you’ve asked for your wishes.
GEORGE
My what?
GEENA
Your wishes! Are you deaf or what? Why did you rub a lamp in the first place if not to call a genie? Or did you mistake it for your, uhum…?
Geena nods at George’s crotch. George tugs on his shirt to cover his crotch area.
GEORGE
Stop! I have no idea of what’s going on right now.
GEENA
Clearly.
GEORGE
First of all, there are no genies.
GEENA
Oh? So who then do you think squeezed out of a 2-inch oil lamp opening? The housekeeper? (fake squeaky voice) Good evening sir, we thought it was more efficient to enter your room this way. Tomorrow we’ll flow in through the air vent with your fresh towels. (end squeaky voice) Or is it you, hallucinating? Are you crazy maybe? Is this all in your head? And if it is, how come you get marks from this?
Geena leans over and bites George’s forearm hard. He jumps in pain.
GEORGE
Ouch!
George looks at his arm. The bite has left distinct, red marks. he sinks down on the bed, looking very confused.
GEENA
Now, let’s start over. I can’t wait to be done with you!
GEORGE
What?
GEENA
Ok. Here’s the deal. I’ve been waiting 3000 years for you and the last thing I want to waste time on is chit chatting. Get to it!
George looks shocked.
GEORGE
I’m not…I don’t want to…I’ve had a long day… uhm, you’re not my type…
GEENA
To wishing, you moron!
GEORGE
Oh.
GEENA
Ok, you obviously need more basic info than I anticipated. Here’s the deal. I’m a genie.
GEORGE
But you’re a woman?
GEENA
So? Another fact that got skewed in the history books. Do you really think men would take a service job that would require them to appear on-demand with a “Your Wish Is My Command” for their entire career? Come on. That only got changed in the books when genies became cool. Can I continue my story now?
George nods.
GEENA
I was a really popular genie back in the far East 3000 years ago. I was great. I worked fast. And I only had one last person left to grant wishes, before I could retire when I was, well, my lamp, my home, with me in it, was dropped in the desert during a sand storm. I was buried in the sand. And I lay there forgotten. For 3000 years. I know the time because I drew a line every year. Look.
Geena nods at the lamp. It does indeed look like there are 1000s of very thin scratches on the inside of the glass.
GEENA
I lay there until an American tourist found me and brought me here last month. I was so excited. I couldn’t wait for her to rub me, but she never did. I heard her husband call my lamp ugly. And then they sold me to you. And here we are. So, hurry up already! Make a wish! Oh, I can’t wait to be done and retire. And I gotta pee.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – BATHROOM – DAY
Geena pees for a very long time.
GEORGE (O.S.)
Oh, wow! You’re really a genie! Oh, my this is crazy. This is amazing! This changes everything! I’m gonna be famous! Yeeehaaaww! Hurry up, I’m ready to wish! Jeez, you’ve been peeing forever!
GEENA
I’ve been holding it since before he was born.
INT. HOTEL ROOM – DAY
Geena comes out of the bathroom.
GEORGE
Ok, so help me out here. Should I ask to be rich first or should I ask for unlimited wishes right of the bat? What’s the best strategy?
Geena sighs and rolls her eyes.
GEENA
It doesn’t work that way. Everyone knows that you can’t ask for more wishes. It’s against the rules. If you even try to ask for any more than three wishes you forfeit your wishes altogether. Here are the rules and limitations. No more and no less than three wishes. You can ask for anything you want, but for measurable wishes my powers are set to the starting date of my employment as a genie. So, you asked to be rich. Let’s see… in my programming that means that you will instantly be the owner of eight goats.
GEORGE
Eight goats!? What? Well, what about filthy rich?
GEENA
Eight goats and two camels.
GEORGE
Noooo! Ok, what if I wish for huge success.
Geena thinks.
GEENA
You won’t die of starvation and you’ll live past the age of 40. Awesome, right!?
GEORGE
I’m 45, almost 46 now!
George looks extremely disappointed and upset. He throws a pillow at the wall in frustration.
GEORGE
This is useless! You are useless. You’re just wasting my time! This is not fair!
GEENA
Life is not fair.
GEORGE
Well, that’s what your job is. To see to that I get my fair share.
GEENA
Interesting how quickly you went from not believing in genies to taking my services for granted.
GEORGE
Go away. Nothing ever works out for me. I should have known better.
Geena looks concerned.
GEENA
No, hey, hey now. Don’t be like that. It can work out. C’mon just think of something to wish. You can do it. C’mon, make a wish. Please. Oh, pretty please. Just wish for something. Anything. I just want to retire.
GEORGE
Just get out of here. Get back in your lamp or whatever.
The last sentence sends Geena back into her lamp. She gradually shrinks and “swoshes” back into the lamp right in front of George’s eyes, under loud protest.
GEENA
Nooo! Wish something! I’m thirsty. Give me some water!
George ignores her protests. Geena reaches out and grabs a bottle of vodka from the open minibar just before her arm fully disappears into the lamp.
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This reply was modified 4 years ago by Karin Hallen. Reason: formatting
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This reply was modified 4 years ago by
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LESSON 9 – BERNADETTE WILSON – ACT 1 OPENING AND CHARACTER
INTRODUCTION
THE THING I LEARNED IN THIS LESSON IS THAT I’M SO GLAD I
WROTE A BEAT SHEET FIRST. AFTER 8 DAYS, I ACTUALLY HAVE
AN OPENING. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. I JUST SORT OF WENT FOR
IT.
FADE IN:
INT. 1964 – NYU THERAPY OFFICE – DAY
A MAN, dressed in full wig and makeup is lying on the couch
talking in therapy. His therapist, BRINDA CAGE (26) is taking
notes and listening to him.
THE SOUND OF A TAPE RECORDER begins taping.
BRINDA
Let us begin. August 5, 1964 at
2:00 pm at the NYU lab of Dr. Sonya
Vieteg, interviewing patient number
220. Can you tell me how long you
have had your feelings?
MAN
It’s funny. I think I’ve always
known that I would love to be a
woman. Loving the male attention
and glamorous clothes.
INTERCUT – INT. PHOTOGRAPHER’S STUDIO – DAY
A WOMAN – MIMI – WHO RESEMBLES MARILYN MONROE is rolling
through satin sheets on a bed but hiding her face except for
one eye at a time while JESSE, a photographer is shooting her
with his Hasselblad Camera.
MAN (V.O.)
Like a movie star. Like Rita
Hayworth or lovely Marilyn.
CAMERA CLICKS
INT. 1964 – NYU THERAPY OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
MAN
I’m hoping that my trip to Denmark
will be worth it. I’ve waited so
long.
2.
BRINDA
And what outcome are you hoping
for?
MAN
Freedom. So that I can walk down
the street in my lovely dresses and
have my hair and nails done when I
want, like all those ladies on the
Upper East Side.
INTERCUT – INT. – JESSE’S LOFT – CONTINUOUS
CAMERA CLICK
The back of Mimi rises from the bed and goes up to Jesse,
almost to kiss him. Jesse kisses her back.
INT – NYU THERAPY OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
BRINDA
We are now ending Session 1 of
Patient 220 of Dr. Sonya’s Vieteg’s
experiment.
SHE SHUTS OFF THE TAPE RECORDER.
The man gets up from the couch.
MAN
Thank you.
BRINDA
Of course. See you next week.
The man leaves the office
INT – NYU MENS ROOM – DAY
The man, still in wig and makeup, goes into ladies room and
hides in a stall. In the stall she takes out some mabeline
cream and takes off all of his makeup. He then removes his
wig. He flushes the toilet, comes out of the stall, and goes
to the mirror, washing his hands, and then exits the mens
room.
INT/EXT – NYU PSYCHOLOGY BUILDING – DAY
The man walks out of the building puts. His sunglasses on and
assumes his role as a man in broad daylight, carrying his
shopping bag of wig and makeup.
3.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN
INT – BRINDA’S APARTMENT – DAY
SOUND OF A SMITH CORONA TYPEWRITER
Brinda is typing part of her thesis, while the rest of her
apartment is full of books and scattered papers. She
finishes typing and takes the paper out of the typewriter.
She roams into the
INT – BRINDA’S BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS
She looks into the rusty mirror and begins her speech.
BRINDA
The topic of my thesis is based on
the extended work of Dr. Evelyn
Hooker. On the normalcy of
homosexuality in life in…
She forgets the speech.
BRINDA (CONT’D)
Oh Damn it!
THE PHONE RINGS
Brinda walks to the phone and picks up
BRINDA (CONT’D)
Hello?
MAYBELLE, a DRAG QUEEN and model answers.
MAYBELLE (O.C.)
Hey Honey – what’s goin on? Where’s
the man?
BRINDA
He’s not there?
MAYBELLE
No,he’s not here and we been waitin
over 30 minutes in the heat. And
these girls are gettin nasty.
4.
BRINDA
Ok, ok – I’ll come down and open up
ok. Tell them not to leave.
MAYBELLE
I’m waitin…
END OF PHONE CALL
Brinda hangs up. Grabs her purse and leaves.
THE RADIO IS STILL ON and is saying something about the death
of Marilyn Monroe as definitely a suicide.
EXT./INT. OUTSIDE JESSE’S LOFT – DAY
Brinda shows up.
The girls are really pissed. And they are arguing about who
they are going to be and Maybelle calms them down.
MAYBELLE
Honey, I don’t know how long I can
stay. I got a party uptown. What is
he? Snoozin up there.
BRINDA
I left a message for him last
night. I don’t know.
Brinda opens the door to loft. They all pile in old loft
elevator and go up to 3rd floor. They pile out of elevator.
INT – JESSE’S LOFT – DAY
Brinda and the DRAG QUEENS pile in. Maybelle and the 2 other
girls get into modeling clothes for cover shoot. Maybelle
notices the clothes hanging.
MAYBELLE
OOH, I’m a pirate’s girl today.
Brinda walks over and notices the bed is unmade but cold. She
notices that there is undeveloped shot film in the camera.
She takes the camera off the tripod.
BRINDA
I have to change the film.
She walks into the darkroom. Takes the film out of the
camera. She reaches for the phone. She rollo dials a number.
OPERATOR (O.C.)
Bells Are Ringing?
5.
BRINDA
Yes, hi, ah this is Brinda Cage and
I was wondering if Jesse picked up
my calls?
OPERATOR
No, I’m sorry Ms. Cage he has not
picked up any of his messages.
BRINDA
Thank you.
THERE”S A LOUD KNOCK AT THE DOOR.
Brinda hangs up the phone and puts the film in her pocket.
MAYBELLE
Oh No! It’s Lillian!
Brinda opens the door.
There are TWO COPS standing in the doorway.
COP 1
Is this James Webber’s apartment?
BRINDA
Yes. I’m his fiancee. What’s
happened?
COP 1
We need you to come with us Miss?
BRINDA
Cage. Brinda Cage.
FADE OUT.
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JUDITH ABINGDON
What I learned: I did the wrong assignment and jumped the gun and wrote out the whole act rewriting, ( but I’m saving this)! trying to stick to the program. I don’t see the antagonist in these scenes, is that wrong?
OPENING SCENE ACT 1
EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS DAY
wide shot of high school grounds ( coed catholic school, nothing fancy, city school) as school is ending for the day.
JULIET meets her girlfriends they talk her into going to her house , even tho she knows this is not allowed when no one is home.
EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS DAY
wide shot of high school grounds ( coed catholic school) as school is ending for the day. Panning around we get snippets of conversation from various characters then we focus on two girls talking, a third joins them.
JULIET (to girl 1)
was it just me or was today more boring than usual?
GiRL 1
Right?! Let’s shake this bummer mood and have some fun. Here comes Grace now.
A third girl comes to join them, she is the tallest, slim, with an air of elegance and she is black.
GRACE
Hey girls, howzit going?
JULIET
Juliet puts up her hand in a patrol boy stop signal and starts singing, STOP, In the name of Love…. they break into giggles, then all join in and finish the song, they are attracting attention and get some claps at the end. They collapse in a heap of laughter.
GIRL 1
I’d love to go play some tunes and do some singing! Juliet let’s go to your house, your Mom doesn’t get home until late.
GRACE
Yeah, we could kick back, have some snacks, and be gone in a flash.
JULIET
I don’t know, you know my Mom doesn’t like people over when she is not home.
GIRL 1
Like she’s ever gonna know!
GRACE
We promise not to make a mess! Please!
GIRL 1
PLEEEESE!
JULIET
OK, but you have to leave on time so I can get dinner started, as usual.
GIRL 1
Deal!
GRACE
COOOL!
They high-five and hug and set off for Juliet’s house. On the way they start singing again, Baby Love, my baby love, laughing at the people they pass. They get looks not only for singing but because Grace is with them. They are oblivious.
INT. JULIET’S HOUSE DAY
The girls have fun, play music, sing, dance, and clown around.
Before they get ready to go Juliet proposes taking some photos to keep as memories. She gives them some and keeps one of her and her black friend GRACE.
INT. JULIET’S HOUSE DAY
The girls throw their stuff down, kick their shoes off, get some snacks and retire to the living room, with the stereo. They spin some tunes, sing along and have a great time.
JULIET
This is way more fun than class! Wish we could do it every day.
GIRL 1
Yeah, soon we will be able to get our own places and hang all the time.
GRACE
More likely we will go our own ways and lose touch.
JULIET
Grace why would you say that?
GIRL 1
The terrific three, no way!
GRACE
I just know life will get in the way.
JULIET
Oh, get over here and stop being so serious. I’m going to go get my camera and take a picture to mark this super day.
Juliet gets her Polaroid Instamatic and snaps a few pics in front of the fireplace, gives them some, and keeps the one of her and Grace.
They help Juliet tidy up and leave. Juliet starts dinner, peels some potatoes, and puts them to boil.
SECOND SCENE OUTLINE
INCITING INCIDENT
A few days later her mother comes into her room as she is looking at the photo, she tries to shove it back in the drawer and her mother is suspicious and asks to see it. She has no choice but to hand it over. Her mother sees that it was taken in the house and knows she was not there. She questions Juliet as to how and when this could happen.
Juliet tries to be casual but her Mother is not having it. The volume of the argument escalates and her stepfather enters, sees the photo, loses it and makes a scene.
SECOND SCENE
A few days later Juliet is in her room listening to music( Joni Mitchell) and looking at the photo of her and Grace when her mother comes in, she tries to shove the pic back in the drawer and her Mother asks to see it.
MOTHER
What is that?
JULIET
Nothing
MOTHER
If it’s nothing then why can’t I see it?
Juliet
It’s nothing interesting.
Mother
Give it here, please.
Juliet hands it to her, and a puzzled look forms on her Mothers face.
Mother
Who is this?
Juliet
It’s me.
MOTHER
And?
JULIET
and a friend from school.
MOTHER
Who?
JULIET
Her name is Grace, if that matters.
Her mother starts to raise her voice
MOTHER
Don’t get smart with me, It’s a simple question. I think I deserve to know who was in my home when I was not here.
JULIET
She’s just a friend from school, not an axe murderer. If I could have some friends over sometimes maybe we would not have to do it in secret.
MOTHER
I will be the one to decide that.
At this point, her stepfather has heard the commotion and enters the room.
STEPFATHER
What’s all this racket?
Juliet and her Mother exchange glances, Juliet is trying to convey that she want’s to keep this between them. Waiting for an answer he sees the photograph in her Mothers hand and takes it.
STEPFATHER
When the hell did this happen?
Juliet looks blank.
MOTHER
Well?
JULIET
It was a few days ago, we were just
STEPFATHER
That’s enough, I don’t need to hear your reasons. You let people in the house when we were not here
JULIET
Well it’s my house too
STEPFATHER
Don’t interrupt me! And not only that you brought a nigger in here!
Juliet’s face is incredulous. Her mother says nothing.
JULIET
Why would you use that horrible word. She is a person, a lovely human being.
STEPFATHER
Facts are facts!
JULIET
What are you even talking about? Don’t you send me to church to learn to be kind, be my brother’s keeper
STEPFATHER
And honor your mother and father, don’t forget that one.
JULIET
Well, YOU are not my father
He comes over and slaps her. She stays stone still and stares him down.
Mother
Let’s all calm down
She tries to guide him out of the room
STEPFATHER
Don’t tell me to calm down. I’ve had enough of this, and after the day I had!
Just know this you are grounded, Miss
Juliet bites her lip, waits till they leave then slams the door. She gets ready for bed and get her transistor radio and puts it under her pillow and tunes into her favorite station, WNEW out of NYC.
Juliet tries to make her case as she is conflicted by the Catholic morals she is supposed to be learning and their reactions.
She is punished, skips dinner and loses herself to her transistor radio and wonders how she can get away from all this drama.
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THIRTY DAY SCREENPLAY # 9
James E. Clark Act 1 Opening Scenes
What I learned from this assignment: We have been building a foundation for the story. We are now preparing to build the framing. The concept of a little bit at a time seems counterintuitive to being speedy. But it works!
Opening:
EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY
Sr. Chief Carrie Waters I inspecting her sailors for morning “Formation”.
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY
Sr. Chief Waters is berating a young sailor for not remember how to operate the heavy earth mover. She does it nicely but firmly.
INT. CHAPEL CONFRENCE ROOM – NIGHT
Sr. Chief Waters I at a Women’s Bible study on the Navy base. The younger women gravitate to her for advice.
INT. DOJO – NIGHT
Sr. Chief Waters is at a dojo wearing a 3<sup>rd</sup> degree Black Belt. She’s teaching children the art of Tai Kwon Do.
Inciting Incident:
INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY
Carrie is in the doctor’s office on base. She’s been given the news of a terminal diagnosis. We don’t hear what it is, but we see her reaction.
OUTLINE
OPENING
EXT. COMPANY HEADQUARTERS – DAY
Beginning
Sailors are scrambling to be in the right place in formation and on time. Everyone is at attention. One lone sailor is five seconds late and has to work is way into his place
Middle
Facing the Sailors is a diminutive Sr. Chief Carrie Waters. Five foot nuthin’ and a hundred pounds. She’s wearing immaculate Khaki’s with lots of ribbons including a Purple Heart.
End
She sarcastically thanks the late sailor for joining his shipmates. She tells the whole formation that she will inspect them prior to the Commander inspecting them and woe to anyone who’s not prepared.
EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY
Beginning
Sr. Chief Waters is watching a Seaman struggle with the operation of a large earthmover
Middle
With ease she scrambles up to the cab. Asks the sailor a few questions. Walks him through the operative procedure and has him restart the earth mover. It works.
End
She kindly confirms that the sailor is able to go through the steps to enforce is learning.
INT. CHAPEL CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT
Beginning
Women are milling around chatting and drinking coffee or bottled water. Some are in uniform, some in civies. Carrie is in civies. She calls them all to the table.
Middle
The are going through the story of Deborah in the Book of Judges. Carrie asks pointed questions of the participants to keep them engaged.
End
Bible study is over. Someone asks Carrie what she’ll do once she retires. She tells them she wants to visit every state in the US
INT. DOJO – NIGHT
Beginning
Carrie, 3<sup>rd</sup> degree Black Belt is teaching a class of kids ages 8-15.
Middle
An 11-year-old boy gets too rambunctious and hurts a girl in the class. She orders him off the mat where he must kneel and watch the rest of the class continue.
End
She confronts the boy by asking him how much he likes being at the Dojo. He loves it. She gives him a serious reprimand.
INCITING INCIDENT
INT. NAVY MEDICAL OFFICE – DAY
Beginning
Carrie sitting on the exam table. The physician is reading lab reports then looks at MRI results.
Middle
Physician gives Carrie bad news. One to two years at most.
End
EXT. FRONT OF MEDICAL CENTER – DAY
Carrie stands and stares into nothingness. Then starts to shake.
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Mickey Gonzalez Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is Get this method. I want to break through and break down the entire script. Simple outline for the any first drafts. Finally, write the screenplay. Deal with it in anywhere in the script.
Go to your Beat Sheet and find the opening scene and a second lead character introduction. Create a simple outline those scenes for those two scenes.
Protagonist
Opening scene outline
After grueling effort to find the whereabouts of his material. Mark is going to try to get his story on air at a TV station.
INT APARTMENT – NIGHT
Beginning: Mark and Raquel come in the apartment. Raquel sees that the manuscript is missing along with other material. She shows Mark that the top of the desk is bare. Mark. Mark says he left on the desk b4 he left.
Middle: He picks up a flashlight searches the small apartment. He looks under everything. In the middle of the kitchen floor, he lifts a door leading to a small cellar. There is nothing there.
End. A flashlight light comes through from outside of a window. There is a stranger with a flashlight peering through the window. In the illumination of the flashlight, he can see the stranger. He has on glasses, wearing a grey side cap and grey over coat. Mark and Raquel hurry to the front door. The stranger runs off. Mark chases after him. He gets away. A police car drive by slowly. Mark sees the patrolman in the passenger seat.
SECOND SCENE BEAT SHEET
INT. APARTMENT NIGHT
Raquel helps Mark get inside. She is wondering if he knows who the burglar was.
SECOND SCENE OUTLINE
Raquel is in her dominance rage. She wants his work back. She wants him to go after them. First, they go to the police.
INT. POLICE BUILDING – DAY
Beginning: Mark and Raquel are talking to a police commander. He suggests if Mark knows who the stranger outside was. He asks Raquel if she thinks Mark had misplaced it and if he is telling the truth.
Middle: They leave the police building. Back at the apartment, Raquel becomes enrage. Back and forth she goes trying to get Mark to embark on finding Seymour. They go at each other. She insists that he go after and find any possibilities where this Vast collection / manuscript is.
End: Raquel says she is staying the night. Mark thinks is better she goes to her apartment. She just lay on the bed and falls asleep. During the night she embraces Mark and go on. She leaves early into the dawn. Mark embarks to search Duck Island.
Antagonist
INT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Beginning: Mark calls a newspaper reporter at the Plain Press. He wants to be interviewed. He wants to get his story out as an article in the Plain Press.
Middle: Mark getting ready for the secret meeting. He notices a man outside looking at the apartment. Then another man comes. They vanish.
End: He wants to warn them to stay away.
SECOND SCENE BEAT SHEET
EXT. APARTMENT – NIGHT
Mark is outside. He does not see the two men. He looks around.
SECOND SCENE OUTLINE
Beginning: The newspaper reporter from the Plain Press pulls up. Mark sees him.
Middle: Mark thinks there is going to be meeting. When the men outside show up. They jump into the newspaper reporter’s car and force him to drive away.
End: They force him to drive to Clark’s field warning him not to get police involved. One of them swing a punch landing on the reporter’s nose. Breaking his nose. As he holds his nose and cries out in pain. They leave him in his car in the green grass part of Clark’s field.
A newspaper reporter is warned not to intervene or call police. The newspaper reporter gets a bloody broken nose.
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Lesson 9 Act one Opening and Character Introductions
What I learned doing this assignment. This is a great next step to the beat sheet. This is a great starting point for writing the script.
Opening Scene Kendra:
Int: Subway-Day Kendra stands on a crowed subway across from Michael a handsome man in his mid-thirties and her current one-night stand. Michael rubs Kendra’s hand and she quickly pulls it away. The phone in Kendra’s pocket beeps. She pulls it out and looks at the message on the screen and puts it back in her pocket.
Michael
My friend is opening his restaurant tonight. I thought we could go.
Kendra
No thanks.
Opening Scene Jackson Kendra Older Brother
Int: Garage- Day Jackson on a cell phone.
Jackson late thirties dials his cell phone repeatedly. After a few moments Jackson throws the cell phone on the floor of the garage. He quickly picks of the phone and redials the number again. Jackson’s wife Ann early thirties walks into the garage.
Ann
Jackson give it up she does not want to talk to you.
Jackson
I have to keep trying.
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Subject line: Daisy Ridgway Khalifa’s Act 1 Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment: Do not wordsmith too soon. You will create a glut of good and bad language and ideas that might be hard to sift through. Also, I am having some anxiety about writing dialog.
Commitment to my fellow classmates: I will intentionally use the High Speed Writing Rules throughout the rest of this program. [after lessons 7 and 8;)]
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Opening
BEGINNING: Shots of a quiet pre-dawn Los Angeles.
MIDDLE: Shots of pre-dawn Los Angeles, this time shaking and breaking in an the 1994 Northridge Earthquake
END: An oceanfront house that is rupturing from the ground up as a family escapes at sunrise. The terrace, cracked down the middle, and ocean beyond are silent and calm again in the aftershock.
EXT. LOS ANGELES – DAWN
A slumbering pre-dawn Los Angeles, seen in millions of flickering lights in various expansive shots of the city, goes from tranquil to unhinged in the 1994 Northridge earthquake. We hear low audio of the sounds of the city as a VOICE OVER begins of a reading from the BIBLE.
V.O.
And then there was…
EXT. LOS ANGELES – OCEANFRONT HOUSE ON A CLIFF/“PINECLIFF” – CONTINUOUS
The terrace of an oceanfront house known as PINECLIFF, fractures in several places during the earthquake. We can hear slightly the natural sounds of the city, the air, the quake in all of their eeriness.
V.O. (Con’t)
…damnation – tk
INT. PINECLIFF – MASTER BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS
A husband and wife shoot out of bed and scramble frantically.
ON WIFE:
As she bolts into the HALLWAY and meets the caretaker, who is holding a baby and has another child by hand.
BACK to MASTER BEDROOM
On husband as he goes to his safe across the spacious bedroom-over-the-ocean, grabbing what he can of his wife’s jewelry on the way. He pulls out documents, even a gun. He heads for the front door.
V.O. (Con’t)
Bible…tk
INT/EXT. PINECLIFF – FRONT DOOR THRESHHOLD – CONTINUOUS
HUSBAND stands at front door as the QUAKE’s last explosive sound is heard. He turns to look back at his beautiful investment, worth millions UP TO NOW. The hallway floor BUCKLES RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Beyond, across the cracked terrace, the ocean is sapphire blue, calm, but for the crashing waves.
V.O. (Con’t)
Ends…
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. PINECLIFF – TERRACE – DAY – 20 YEARS EARLIER – 1974
BEGINNING: Mia and Tina part ways, a trauma for Mia.
MIDDLE: Mia encounters Charles Laughton in her garden. They talk.
END: Charles leaves the garden and goes back to his home, PINECLIFF in 1947, and tells a few people about the little girl “in orange plaids”.
Birds eye view over the terrace of the oceanfront house on a bright sunny afternoon. We pan windows of the DINING ROOM of Pinecliff, where MIA PAULEY, 8, is straddling her housekeeper, TINA BARRIENTOS, in a tight hug, while Tina sits in a dining room chair, dressed in her finest Sunday clothes. MIA won’t let go. She is hiding tears. Tina knows. Mia’s father, BRUCE PAULEY, and her mother, KATRINA PAULEY, look on helplessly.
BRUCE
Baby, I think I have to take Tina downtown now.
TINA prompts Mia and Mia finally lets go, kisses her on the cheek one more time, and gets off TINA’s lap quickly. Distraught, Mia hides her face, and runs out of the dining room. TINA sheds a tear as she watches Mia tear out.
EXT. PINECLIFF – GARDEN — CONTINUOUS
MIA runs to the garden at the side of the house. She goes toward the fringes, where there is a brick storage building. She reaches a dark garden path, covered by pine trees, where a massive unused fire pit sits in a circle. In a daze, the child picks up rocks to toss into the pit.
MEETS Charles.Placeholder: The CONVO: Dialog starts with Mia so much in tears she isn’t scared. She asks him if he is CL? Were you the Hunchback? Yes. You lived here before we did. Charles grows curious. Saw Charlie Chaplin, Laughton’s quips, “Bully for you.” Mia says you sound like Mrs. Buttle, she is mean to me and is funny. She says, “Listen duh,” and I don’t understand her. Charlie laughs. I think she is calling you Duck. Let me show you: “Listen, DUCK, I don’t think we both live in this house.” Duck, Oh. Duck, she grins. That’s it. DUCK!” Well. How is Chaplain? How is he? “He is an old man,” says Mia. Spooks Charles more, CL thinks he might be losing his mind and says as much. “We’re having a garage sale. We’e moving…” Charles says he is too.
INT. WASHINGTON, D.C. – MIA’S APARTMENT – 25 YEARS LATER
BEGINNING: Mia Pauley, 32, receives a phone call from her sister, CAREY. Carey, a drug addict, is chatty but calls to tell her sister that their old house finally gave out, and is now abandoned, because of the Nothridge earthquake. “You ought to come out.”
MIDDLE: MIA is dumbstruck, nervous and preoccupied, as she heads to work and we meet IAN GARDNER, whom she will confide in about PINECLIFF.
END: MIA and IAN go to happy hour, and have fun, and also touch on PINECLIFF, because Mia has something on her mind. IAN is awestruck and wants to know more about the house where Laughton lived. That night, MIA has dreams. That morning, searching for an old box of files, Mia unearths her research about Charles Laughton. She hears her sister’s voice: “You ought to come out.”
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Kim Michael McCarthy Lesson 9: Act 1: Opening Scenes
Opening & Character Introductions
“What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
Not too much… because I’m not creating my story / screenplay from scratch, which is what HAL is teaching and that is OK for writers who don’t already have their story flushed out in beats. I DO and have done the building of “beats thing” over a year ago!
I have already written 60 plus pages of my first draft in Final Draft months ago. I KNOW my story from FADE-IN to FADE-OUT. But that does not mean that I won’t make revisions, improvements, edits and corrections in my futures drafts sooner than later. 😊
1. Go to your Beat Sheet and find the opening scene and a second lead character introduction. Create a simple outline those scenes for those two scenes.
Act 1:
INT. GOATS DEN – MORNING
· Opening Scene Outline:
Beginning: WILLIAM awakes from a dream in which he is teased by his playmates while playing tag. WILLIAM is sent on an errand by his mother to gather grass for dinner.
TE 1) WILLIAM dreams that he is teased by his playmates for his appearance (a forward-facing head horn that make trumpet sounds) while playing a game of tag with them.
EXT. GOLD MOUNTAIN PLATEAU – DAY
Middle: While doing his errand, the nearby bear family promises WILLIAM honey from an out of reach beehive, if he helps them get it. He does. The bear family tricks WILLIAM and they do not give him any honey.
END: WILLIAM runs away from home feeling sad and that he is worthless. WILLAM fails to finish his errand and does not get the honey that he was promised.
2. Write your Opening scene that introduces a lead character; either your Protagonist or Antagonist.
GOLD MOUNTAIN LOVE c WGA WEST 2020
FADE IN:
EXT.PINE TREE PLATAUE OF GOLD MOUNTAIN – NIGHT
HOOT
A majestic Great Horned Owl
VO: HELLO. My name is HOOT. I have a story to tell you. It happened like this.
HOOT gradually appears from the dark. We see only his wide round eyes at first, he is preached and nestled high into the tallest whispery pine tree on GOLD MOUNTAIN’s plateau.
HOOT blinks his eyes. The darkest center of his all-black eyes is our focal point.
Loud claps of thunder echoing, fade in the distance. Bright bolts of lightning flash. The brightness illuminates the summit of GOLD MOUNTAIN creating sparkle effects from the GOLD which is encased on the snow-white capped summit mountain top. It is as if we see a gigantic sparkler illuminating the entire mountain and platue.
EXT. RISING SUN SIDE OF GOLD MOUNTAIN – DAY BREAK
The rising sun illuminates GOLD MOUNTAIN’S valley covered with lush tall green grass blowing in the gentle breeze.
A cascading sparkling blue river flows from its snow-covered mountain summit. Flowers of all colors cover the plateaus on the sunny side of GOLD MOUNTAIN.
HOOT flies out of where his is perched, a tall whispery pine tree, hovering over the long wispy green grasses, gently swaying from side to side in a rhythm of nature’s goodness in in a gentle breeze.
Hoot soars into the sunlight sky. He majestically glides us on a sky-high tour, which is covered with a dozen teepees billowing smoke from the GOLD MOUNTAIN Native American encampment on the plateau, jutting from the side of Gold Mountain.
HOOT soars in circles around the encampment.
Hoot’s POV
Below are children playing hop sack. Dogs fetching bones. Senior women cleaning corn and gain. Little girls jumping rope and hop scotching with squares of small pebbles as makers. Younger women with long tree branch rods slapping the dust out of brightly colored decorative blankets, rhythmically striking them. The gently breeze blowing the dust, form magical shapes. Young brave boys practicing wrestling, throwing tomahawks at moving targets. Many are practicing shooting with a bow and arrow, targeting bales of hay decorated to look like the animals that they hunt for food and clothing.
HOOT hovers over a large teepee on the far side of the plateau with smoke billowing out of the tepee’s crown in puffy white columns.
WIDE TO PUSH IN: THE LARGEST TEPEE ON THE SUN LIT EDGE OF THE PLATEAU.
POV: The front flap opens from the inside out. A young brave walks out.
HOOT turns and ‘drive bombs. HOOT flies into the front entrance of the largest tepee. We follow him into the smoke-filled tepee. HOOT flies onto a tripod of decorative Indians staffs.
HOOT settles down on top of the perch, blinks his large round black eyes, turns his head toward the CHIEF who is wearing a decorative feathered full head dress and buckskin shirt and trousers with long fringes adorn the multicolored ensemble. The CHIEF sits cross legged in a circle of four other elders. The CHIEF is the center of attention and reverence.
CHIEF, a large stoic looking man. Broad shoulders. His face has a chiseled chin with high cheek bones. His hair is silky silver, long and full. He stares with open eyes but is blind. His hearing and touch are all that he needs to “see” everything.
The CHIEF cocks his head toward HOOT.
CHIEF
Welcomed wise bird.
HOOT acknowledges the welcome with a long HOOT. Blinks his eyes twice as he raises up his head high, expands his chest out and flaps his wings in a proud manner. Settles down on the tripod of decorative staffs as his perch.
The CHIEF takes a long inhale on peace pipe and then passes it to one of the other four elders sitting cross legged around the center fire of the tepee. The CHIEF exhales. The smoke twirls up joining the smoke column of the fire. The two columns of smoke twirl as one and exit through the crown of the tepee.
POV: We follow the smoke to the top of the tepee as it exits the crown opening. Smoke dissipates. A panoramic view of the snowcapped and glistening GOLD MOUNTAIN summit appears.
EXT. SNOW CAPPED SUMMIT GOLD MOUNTAIN – SUNRISE DAYBREAK PANARAMIC VIEW
INT. GOAT’S DEN – SUNRISE
WILLIAM’S ‘fever dream’ sequence as he sleeps on a bed of hay. Dream clouds encircle William’s head then dissipate into the next scene.
EXT. GOLD MOUNTAIN PLATEAU – DAY
A group of mountain animals, a young boy bear named WOOLY, a young cute girl mountain goat named SUREFOOT, a mountain squirrel name BERRY and a LOUD black crow named SHUTUP are playing tag. WILLIAM, a young adventurous but shy insecure mountain goat who has a forward facing head horn that makes trumpet sounds when air blows through it and brown colored socks on all fours, is watching from the side lines.
SUREFOOT
(friendly)
WILLIAM come play with us!
WILLIAM
(Uncomfortable, knowing it’s not true.)
Augh, thanks SUREFOOT. I got to get going. I promised I’ll help my mom.
WOOLY
WILLIAM? You mean Billy Billy… he’s so silly. With a horn that goes toot. Hey SHUTUP… your it!
SHUTUP
Look at Billy with his dirty boots cause he steps in poop. I thought BERRY was it?
BERRY
(To WILLIAM)
Hey don’t mind them. Let’s play.
SUREFOOT
(Kind encouragement)
WILLIAM come on. I know you are the fasted among us. You’re bound to win.
WOOLY
WILLIAM is a mommy’s boy.
SHUTUP
Momma’s boy. Momma boy. Afraid to play. Go away. Caw, Caw.
BERRY
Shutup, SHUTUP!
WILLIAM
I’ll see you later SHURFOOT. Maybe?
SUREFOOT
WILLIAM please don’t go. Don’t go.
VO: Repeated echoes of SUREFOOT’S “don’t go, don’t go” in WILLIAM’S head of HIS fear dream.
INT. GOATS DEN – DAY EARLY MORNING
WILLAMINA is gathering hay and grass with her hoofs forming three piles. She is preparing “breakfast” for her family… her husband BUCK and her son WILLIAM.
WILLIAMINA
WILLIAM’S loving and devoted Mother.
WILLIAM. Honey wake up. Come have breakfast.
BUCK
WILLIAM’S proud Father.
What’s for breakfast sweetheart? There is a meeting with the rest of the herd. Wagons spotted on the grass lands. Got to get going.
WILLIAMINA
WILLIAM is waking up. He so loves to see you every morning. It will just be a moment.
BUCK
I can wait. I’ll be late. I have responsibilities to the herd.
WILLIAMINA
And to your son. WILLIAM please come to breakfast now. Your Father is leaving.
William slowly wakes up from his fear dream. Groans several times. Rolls over. He is covered with pieces of straw. He shakes his head. Straw flies everywhere and two low sounding trumpet notes come from his forward-facing head horn.
BUCK
There’s the boy now.
WILLIAM
Moring Mom, Dad.
WILLIAM’S head slung low and groggy quietly sits and starts eating breakfast.
BUCK
Moring Son. Got to go.
WILLIAM
Bye Dad. Love you.
WILLIAMINA
How’d you sleep dear?
WILLIAM
OK. I guess?
WILLIAMINA
Well William, you must have had a good sleep. We didn’t hear your horn blow once all night. That’s a good night’s sleep for all of us. Now, don’t forget William, I have some chores for you to help me with.
WILLIAM
Augh, Ma, do I have too?
WILLIAMINA
Yes, William. It’s good to learn responsibility. Want to be like Dad? Responsible for the heard? Won’t take too long. Then you can play the rest of the day with your friends.
WILLIAM
Ma, you know they really aren’t my friends. Except for SUREFOOT and maybe BERRY.
WILLIAMINA
Well then, after your chores play time can be all planned out.
WILLIAM
Why did it have to be me?
A TRUMPET toot toot sound comes from WILLIAM.
WILLIAMINA
Now William. You know better than that. You have a special gift.
The other kids are a little envious. Wishing they all had a special gift like yours.
2. Write the scene that introduces the other lead character.
See above. The 1 first draft OPENING 5 minutes of my story.
GOLD MOUNTAIN LOVE c WGA WEST 2020
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This reply was modified 4 years ago by Kim Michael McCarthy.
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This reply was modified 4 years ago by
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QUESTION: CHERYL OR HAL, Will we be getting any feedback on our assignments as we go along? or at the end? Thank you!
Well, I realized I made a mistake and this needed to be an opening scene— I took one of my TE’s and wrote out the scene…
Assignment 9 – 30 Day Script N. Lucas 06/18/2021
Step 1. Copy the scene from your beat sheet.Step 2. Outline the scene.Step 3. Write a minimum level first draft.
This is a scene from the script–
· INT: FLOWER SHOP- DAY
·
· TE1: Isabella sees an hears a handsome man at the counter ordering flowers and chocolates to be sent to the Clarkston. He starts talking about his wedding and she begins asking him questions to fill in the blanks of the type of wedding he wants
· TE2: Isabella is friends with the flower shop owner, and the candy store owner, runs into Peter at the coffee shop. Peter invites her to sit down. They discuss her doing so much – doubts her abilities.
Outline:
Dan enters the flower shop door- is browsing around
Isabella is already in there discussing Wedding Flowers with the owner and her friend Karie
Dan steps up to the counter skiing about flowers for his bride-to –be to be delivered to the Clarkston—telling her how he is getting married on Christmas..asking if she can include chocolates.
Isabella steps up to the counter next to him asking him innocent questions abut his wedding –knowing that this is the Groom she is working for.
Dan orders the flowers and chocolates—Isabella winks and tells Karie she can deliver it all since it right next door to her motel.
Isabella leave to get coffee and runs into Peter. Peter invites her to sit and have coffee—it is a semi-rushed conversation –where the two of them decide to deliver the flowers and chocolates together to the Clarkston.
BEAT SHEET (SCRIPT) Version
INT. FLOWER SHOP-DAY
DAN
I would like to order a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to the Clarkston. Can you deliver them this evening? Oh, Could I enclude a box of chocolates I could send to my fiance’s room along with the beautiful flowers?!
KARIE
Absolutely! We aim to please! And what kind of chocolates were you looking for? Does she like Carmels? Coconut? Is she Vegan? Or do you think she likes dark chocolates? Is she allergic to nuts?
DAN
(responding nervously)
Whoa! That’s a lot of questions! No dietary restrictions. Just a large box of the mixed ones, I guess, caramels and creams…the best ones they make! We are going to be married on Christmas and I want her to feel indulged and loved as soon as she arrives!
ISABELLA
A Christmas wedding! I’m planning one now right over at Cupid’s Arrow! (motions toward the motel with her thumb)
DAN
(disinterested in what Isabella has to say)
(Isabella nods looking away)
KARIE
I always use chocolates from Luscious Confections, and most certainly I will be happy to deliver the flowers and chocolates right away! Delivery is always free..you said a pound? I’ll gift wrap them and have them there in a few hours.
ISABELLA
(moving up to the counter)
So you are getting married on Christmas?
DAN
Yep! My fiancé wants a Christmas wedding. You know, I am not even sure what time the wedding is- my best friend is setting it up! I guess I should find out all those things. Haha
(steps away from counter looking at the Christmas bouqets)
ISABELLA
So, what kind of wedding will you be having? A sun-set beach wedding with dinner to follow? Or, a Chritmas morning wedding with a brunch to follow?
DAN
Beach? (Dan seems astonished) Are Christmas wedding popular?
ISABELLA
Well, not so much popular as they are special. So, what does your bride-to-be like… beaachy or fancy?
DAN
You know, her and I just love fancy!
ISABELLA
Me, too! They are just lovely!
Dan exits the store and both women follow him with their eyes until the door closes. Turns to Karie
I need to order flowers for a wedding… the fancy package, ma’am!
Both women laugh
-
Stafford’s Act One: Opening Scenes
What I learned from this assignment was giving my leads opening scenes that are interesting enough to grasp my audience’s attention. It doesn’t have to be the most dramatic entrance, but have some significance to the role they will play in the story.
Mateo’s Opening Scene
INT. UNIVERSITY AUDITORIUM – NIGHT
PEOPLE scattered throughout. A graduation ceremony has come to a close. Guest and graduates mingle. Some exit, others take pictures.
FLASH-FLASH-FLASH — MATEO VARGAS, 24. Husky. Wears glasses. All smiles in his cap and gown as he stands next to — MARISOL HERRERA, 24, and his FAMILY MEMBERS (Father, Mother, and brother.) They pose for the camera.
SCOTT, 23. White. In his gown as he wraps up taking pictures of Mateo’s family.
SCOTT
Nice pic, guys!
Scott hands the camera to Mateo —
MATEO
Thanks, Scott.
The two embrace in a hug.
SCOTT
No worries, man. Congratulations.
MATEO
Same to you. We had some awesome times.
SCOTT
Gonna miss you as my roommate.
MATEO
We’ll definitely keep in touch.
MATEO’S FATHER
I’ll get the car.
Mateo’s father and brother make their exit.
MATEO’S MOTHER
Teo, hurry. We have reservations…
MATEO
Okay, Ma.
SCOTT
Dude, enjoy your family. Don’t forget– party at Austin’s next Saturday.
MATEO
Wouldn’t miss it for the world. See you then.
Scott wanders off.
Marisol approaches Scott. Wraps her arm around him —
MARISOL
Congratulations, handsome. I’m so proud of you, Teo. Time to celebrate, eh?
MATEO
Your support means everything. Couldn’t imagine any of this without you.
Mateo pulls Marisol closer. They kiss.
MARISOL
You pulled it off by yourself. Your hard work, dedication… Won’t go unnoticed in the future. You’re lucky for what life has in stored for you.
MATEO
Yeah? Maybe I should add a touch of spice to that luck…
Mateo gets on one knee —
MARISOL (surprised)
Wait–What-what are you doing?! Teo, stop kiddin’ around!
ENGAGEMENT RING
2 carats. Sparkles in a black box as Mateo holds it up Marisol.
MATEO
What do you say? Will you marry me, Mari? Be my good luck forever?
Marisol’s eyes fill with water.
MARISOL (eager)
Yes! Yes, yes! I will!
MATEO
Yeah?!
Mateo slides the ring onto Marisol’s left finger as he stands to his feet. He and Marisol hug and kiss. Everyone APPLAUDS them.
MATEO (CONT’D)
I love you so much.
Glorivette’s Opening Scene
INT. EMPLOYEE BREAK ROOM – DAY
Mateo steps inside with his coffee mug. Walks over to the coffee machine.
Mateo puts his focus into preparing his coffee.
GLORIVETTE (O.S.)
The coffee here any good?
Mateo looks to his right…
GLORIVETTE GOMEZ, 42. 5’11. Long black hair. Looks young for her age. So hot it hurts. Any man will kill to have her. You’ll get lost in her eyes.
Mateo looks at Glorivette star truck. Refrains from letting his jaw drop as Glorivette has his full attention.
MATEO
Uh-um… It isn’t Starbucks, but it’ll do. Won’t kill you.
Mateo chuckles.
GLORIVETTE
All I needed to know.
Glorivette grabs a foam cup to prepare her coffee.
Mateo looks away; can’t keep his eyes off Glorivette.
MATEO
You-you new here?
GLORIVETTE
Temp-to-hire for the office. Is it that obvi?
MATEO
My first time seeing you here, that’s all.
GLORIVETTE
My first day. You’re full-time?
MATEO
Yeah… in the config department. I’m Mateo.
Glorivette eyes Mateo down. Likes what she sees.
GLORIVETTE
Mateo…?
MATEO (chuckles)
I’m sorry. Vargas. Mateo Vargas.
GLORIVETTE
Working here long?
MATEO
Little over a year and a half.
GLORIVETTE (deep sigh)
Hm. Good for you. (stirs coffee) Guess I’ll get back to my desk. Enjoy the rest of your day, Mateo.
Glorivette walks away with her coffee.
Mateo thinks to himself for a beat.
MATEO
Wait! I-I didn’t catch your name.
Glorivette stops in her tracks; turns to Mateo —
GLORIVETTE
That’s because I didn’t give it to you.
Embarrassed. Mateo twirls his tongue around his mouth. Lost for words.
MATEO
Well, pardon me.
Glorivette smirks.
GLORIVETTE
I’m joking.
Beat.
MATEO (nods)
You got me, huh?
They laugh.
GLORIVETTE
You’ll find it out soon enough… bye
Glorivette leaves.
Mateo lets out a sigh of relief —
MATEO (SUBTITLES) (in Spanish)
Fuck… She’s beautiful.
Mateo shakes his head.
-
Lora’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is not to overthink the dialogue. It will come naturally the more you play with it.
Act 1:
INT. PHOENIX’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Beginning: Phoenix is badly beaten and near-unconscious on the floor of the shower. Blood washes down the drain.
Middle: A collage of scenes flash behind her closed eyes – she and Sterling in better times. Hope for their future is fleeting at the moment; tears stream down her face.
End: There is a pounding on the door. Her roommate, Camelle, calls out her name again and again. Her voice echoes and sounds far away as Phoenix tries to come out of the darkness. There’s a close up on her face as we see the cuts, bruises and river of tears, and then she opens her eyes and gasps.
INT. LOCAL BAR – NIGHT
Beginning: Phoenix is the bartender, exchanging drinks for a living wage and tips. Her attitude is carefree, a high contrast from the previous scene. She smiles as she works the room. She hops on stage to sing with the band. She is far from the shy, nerdy girl in high school. The regular bar patrons adore her.
Middle: Sterling walks in with a brunette woman on his arm and they take a seat at the bar. The sight of it takes Phoenix’s breath away.
GARRETT, Phoenix’s coworker/friend and friend to Sterling appears at Phoenix’s side.
GARRETT
I got this.
Phoenix pretends to be busy as Garrett steps over to take care of them.
STERLING (to Garrett)
I’d like you to meet Jenna.
Garrett stares at her outstretched hand and leaves it hanging in the air.
GARRETT (monotone)
Nice to meet you.
GARRETT (to Sterling)
What can I get you to drink?
Sterling pays for both drinks and calls his date “babe” – a word that feels like a knife in Phoenix’s heart.
Sterling talks to a stone-faced Garrett while Phoenix dreadfully watches the clock tick closer to the end of Garrett’s shift, knowing she will soon have to face Sterling and his date on her own.
ALBERT, owner of the bar enters as Garrett’s shift is ending as takes Garrett’s place as Sterling’s bartender.
GARRETT (to Phoenix)
Are you okay?
Phoenix swallows a lump in her throat and nods.
GARRETT
Do you want me to stick around?
PHOENIX (shaking her head)
No, I’m sure you have plans of your own. Get on out of here!
GARRETT
Promise me you’ll call me when you get off work.
PHOENIX
I promise.
Garrett leaves the bar without saying goodbye to Sterling.
PHOENIX (quietly to Albert)
I’m so glad you’re here.
ALBERT (nodding towards Sterling)
What is he doing?
PHOENIX (sadly)
I really don’t know.
ALBERT
He’s a real piece of shit.
BAR PATRON (to Phoenix)
Who is the slutty girl with your man?
PHOENIX
He’s apparently not my man anymore.
BAR PATRON
What a fool. She ain’t got nothin’ on you!
WILLIAM, a friend of Phoenix’s, pulls up a seat at the bar. Albert acts as a human barricade by waiting on Sterling all night so Phoenix doesn’t have to. As Jenna becomes more intoxicated, she starts hitting on every male in the bar. She sits on William’s lap and steals his hat. She gives Albert her number. Sterling has to drag her off his lap and out of the bar at the end of the night.
It is a emotionally-taxing night for Phoenix. Her usual happy personality is gone. She had to force a smile all night. The neon lights are off and the “closed” sign is displayed. Phoenix is busy wiping down the bar when the door opens.
PHOENIX (Without looking up)
Sorry, we’re closed!
GARRETT
I know.
Phoenix looks up to see Garrett’s exquisite blue eyes and smiles. Garrett locks the door and helps with closing chores.
GARRETT
How did it go?
PHOENIX (sadly)
She flirted with everyone with a penis. I can’t believe he’d rather be with her than me.
ALBERT
She’s crazy and Sterling is nuts. They deserve each other.
The two boys laugh. Phoenix does not.
ALBERT
Why don’t you guys head out and I’ll finish up.
EXT. SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF LOCAL BAR – NIGHT
GARRETT (chirps his car lock)
Do you want to go for a drive?
PHOENIX (smiling)
I thought you’d never ask.
-
30 Day Script – #9
Rae’s ACT 1 Opening scenes:
What I learned from this assignment is, well actually this process was a bit confusing, not sure I got it right but I am wading through this.
PROTAGONIST #1
INT. RESIDENCE (LONG BEACH) – DAY
JESI JOHNSON (38), removes the lid of the toilet, repairs the broken chain, tightens screws at the base. Her father JACKSON (68), is kicked back in a recliner watching the game.
JACKSON (O.S.)
Did you tighten those screws, put the lid back on?
JESI
(struggling to tighten screws)
Of course.
JACKSON (O.C.)
If you’re gonna run my truck someday you gotta know this stuff.
EXT. 20 UNIT APARTMENT BUILDING – SAME DAY
A Silverado double cab contractors utility truck pulls up. “Johnson Contractor Services” etched on both sides. Jackson jumps out, meets the owner CHUCK EGRET (60). Jesi puts on a tool belt and follows.
JACKSON
Hey Chuck how’s it going? Meet my girl Jesi, my apprentice for the day.
CHUCK
Jackson, Jesi. A chip off the old block.
JESI
Well, first I’m a real estate agent. But it doesn’t hurt to know the trade, right?
CHUCK
(strides ahead)
It’s the rear unit. Goddamn tenant left the bath water running then breezed off to work for the day.
JACKSON
Good thing you got a raised foundation, so all that water had somewhere to go.
JESI
Did you call for a mold inspection?
CHUCK
Nah, all they do is rip you off. They always find mold. You should know — you’re in real estate.
Chuck unlocks the rear unit door, still complaining. A German Shepherd jumps on him, growling.
CHUCK
She didn’t say there was a goddamn dog. Of course there’s no deposit. I’m sick of this, should sell the goddamn place.
Jesi calms the dog down, so that all three can enter.
JESI
If you’re gonna sell, I know a great agent —
CHUCK
Nah, thanks, I got my guy, Henry. Marple & Sage Investments.
JACKSON
Where’s the crawl space again?
CHUCK
Right over there.
Chuck points to a rusty wire grated trap door beside the building. Jesi steps into coveralls, opens the door and disappears under the building. Chuck throws Jackson a look.
JACKSON
Yep, she’s a go getter.
Minutes later Jesi exits from the crawl space covered in mud and —
JESI
God, it’s a cesspool under there —
ANTAGONIST #1 – JAKE SCHREIBER
INT. BRADSHAW INVESTMENT PROPERTIES (DAY)
The halls and offices are crawling with MALE AGENTS.
Jesi enters the manager’s office. JAKE SCHRIEBER is imposing, direct, gives it to her straight.
JAKE
This is a swing out. I’m giving you sixty days to make a deal, bring in an A-list client. As for leads, they go mainly to the big producers. I might manage to slip you one here and there.
JESI
It’s all right. I’ll find my own way.
Antagonist #1
POV
HENRY WU (40), watches Jesi intently from behind his glass enclosed office.
Jesi is geared for a private office. Jake steers her to a cubicle instead. She protests, but it makes no difference. She’s stuck in a bull pen with TWENTY SALESMEN. Jake leaves and delegates Jesi’s orientation to SUZE HICKS (30), a pretty black assistant manager.
SUZE
Girl, let me read you the rules. Number one, this is a man’s world.
ANTAGONIST #2
Henry ventures over to the two women. He and Jesi have immediate chemistry.
HENRY
Hello there. Henry Wu. Jesi, right? May I ask about your former office? Your neighborhood, track record?
JESI
Well actually, there are none. I’m a rookie — starting clean so watch out. And if you want to share any of your leads — I’m all ears.
HENRY
(laughs)
Well, if you need anything other than that –
He smiles as he leaves.
-
Tyberius Asante’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
“What I learned doing this assignment is how to compose a first draft”
Act 1:
INT. RACING STANDS – DAY
BEGINNING: Tiffany walks through the crowds in the racing stands to find Margot. She finds her and greets her warmly.
MIDDLE: Margot and Tiffany meet Dante in the winner’s circle at the podium
END: the three head out to celebrate and catch up.
(Turns to Tiffany)
“He’s doing great… I know he’s going to win,” Margot commenting with exuberance in her voice to Tiffany. I’m so glad you could make the race, Tiffany!
(Facing Margot)
“Me too… “Its so hard to break away from The Bureau with so many cases on my docket,”
Margot
“You guys have always been so close… it’s going to mean the world to him that you were able to come, Margot said smiling approvingly.
Tiffany
Well, with what we been through… our experiences growing up made us close so that’s not an understatement…
No, but even more than that, the two of you always had a special bond that went beyond biology.
Tiffany
“That’s true…
Dante’s crew who working the pit stop are watching intensely as their biker takes the lead and wins the race.
Margot
(Both turning to face the track)
“Oh, here he comes,” said Margot excitedly! Let’s go meet him on the winner’s stand!
Margot, Tiffany, and the whole pit crew rush over to congratulate their winner!
Dante pulls off his helmet to wave at the scores of cheering fans as he rides into the winner’s stand.
Tiffany
“I wish he wouldn’t do that! (disapprovingly)… he could still get hurt. This racing is dangerous enough… he should keep his helmet on as long as he’s on that bike!
“Oh, you know your brother… he wants to make sure he’s seen… Here he comes!
Margot runs to meet him and jumps into his arms kissing him.
Margot
“Baby that was a great race… you were TERRIFIC!
Thanks, Babe…
Margot
Guess who’s here… ???
Dante
(interrupting) Stop, you don’t even have to tell me… I felt it the minute she got here… my lovely sister!!!
Tiffany
“Hey bro…”
stepped through the crowd.
“That was a great race,”
she said as she embraced him tightly kissing him on the cheek
(Margot looking on)
“I’m so glad you could make it… knowing you were here gave me that extra confidence to push through that last lap and a half, extorted Dante! I could always feel it when you were near!
Tiffany
“Well, this is cause for celebration,” said Tiffany. Dinner is on me!
Dante
Ha-ha, you don’t have to tell me twice… we’re outta here as soon as I get my trophy and wrap up!
Margot
Well, don’t let us stand in the way of your GLORIOUS MOMENT!
Dante steps up to the podium, gives a short speech thanking his racing crew, the fans, and his beautiful wife, and his sister for being there.
Afterward, the trio head out.
-
Christi’s Act 1 Opening Scenes
I joined this class for a page 1 rewrite for my script so I’m basically done my first and even fourth draft. Instead of writing the screenplay, I’m measuring what I have against the existing prose.
I learned that every scene has a beginning middle and end, no matter how short the scene actually is. I’m also working to place the Antagonist in plain sight while weaving conflict from multiple sides. That way, the killer should be a mystery right up to the end.
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