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Lesson 15
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Brian G. Walsh – Lesson 15: QE Cycle #3: Rewrite this Scene
Nancy and Squire
LOGLINE: Two underground agents flee German-occupied France must elude German patrols to reach the Allies in time to inform them of a coming attack.
ESSENCE: Two people who don’t trust each other must find common ground in order to achieve their goal.
SCENE:
EXT. OCCUPIED FRANCE – WOODS – NIGHT
NANCY, 18, and SQUIRE, 35, move swiftly through the woods. They dart from tree-to-tree, stopping to take cover only for a moment.
Squire stops under an apple tree. An apple hangs right in his face. He plucks it.
Nancy stumbles over a tree root and falls. She rubs her knee, moans.
Squire turns and looks at her. He tosses the apple to her underhanded.
Nancy catches the apple and tosses it over her shoulder.
NANCY
Help me up, you fool!
Squire sighs theatrically. He walks towards her.
The SQUAWK of a radio.
Nancy crawls into some bushes. Squire runs right past her,
makes it there ahead of her.
Nancy DIVES into the bushes.
Two WAFFEN SS-SOLDIERS walk quietly into view.
Behind the bushes, Nancy and Squire watch closely.
SS-Oberschütze HELMUT VON NEUBERG, 22, picks up the apple. He looks around.
He looks directly where the two are hiding.
Von Neuberg flinches. He drops the apple, then turns away.
SS-Schütze OSKAR STRAUSS, 20, kneels, inspects the disturbed dirt where
Nancy fell. He turns to Von Neuberg.
They exchange a look.
VON NEUBERG
Lass uns gehen.
They vanish into the woods ahead.
Behind the bushes, Squire smiles. Nancy eyes him suspiciously.
NANCY
What did he say?
On her knees, Nancy holds her hand out to him.
Squire walks past her, picks up the apple, rubs it against his shirt.
SQUIRE
He said: Let’s go.
(beat)
We were lucky they didn’t see us.
Nancy gets up, brushes herself off. She shivers, then hugs herself.
NANCY
Perhaps you made your own luck.
SQUIRE
I do feel I have been touched by fate for
much greater things than this nasty little
business.
NANCY
There is nothing greater than this war. A
lot of good people died back there today.
I won’t let them die for nothing.
Squire shushes her, then sidles up to her, puts his arms around her, rubs her arms.
NANCY
You take liberties you are not entitled to.
SQUIRE
We are alive, mon cherie. We should celebrate
our good fortune.
Squire fondles her, kisses her neck.
Nancy pushes him off.
NANCY
You’re too comfortable for my liking. Maybe
you’ve got reason not to fear the boche.
SQUIRE
We should make love and forget about war.
NANCY
That soldier seemed to be staring right at you.
SQUIRE
I was born under a lucky star. You would do
well to be nice to me.
NANCY
I never saw dead bodies before. Our comrades.
Nancy scans the woods, shakes in fear.
Squire puts a hand on her forearm.
SQUIRE
Shh. Things are not so bad. We can hold up
at the Chennault Horse Ranch. There is fruit
around there. A freshwater stream. We can
perhaps snare small game.
Nancy wipes her eyes. Squire kisses her cheek. He turns her
face to his, gently kisses her. He pockets the apple. The kiss
becomes more passionate.
SQUIRE
It could be a good life for a little while. Just
you and I. At least until this nightmare is over.
NANCY
We can be together after we get to the Allies.
But not now, no.
Squire’s hands are all over her now. She runs her fingers through
his hair.
SQUIRE
Your mouth says no but your heart screams yes.
He kisses her roughly, hands working expertly.
NANCY
We make love later, when we are safe. We go the
Americans now.
SQUIRE
(Sighs)
We let the Americans come to us. They know our
unit had the information. Let us be smart and safe.
Nancy pulls his hair hard, slaps his face, pushes off him.
NANCY
Pig! We must go right now!
Squire rubs his head, winces.
SQUIRE
The only way we survive is by doing
what the boche do not expect.
NANCY
We’ve got to tell the Americans about the
planned offensive!
SQUIRE
And we shall. When we are safe.
(beat)
We go to the horse farm.
NANCY
They burned it down after they stole all
the stock. We go to the Americans.
SQUIRE
Then you go alone.
(beat)
You want the apple or not?
Nancy considers the apple. She nods.
Squire polishes it against his shirt some more.
NANCY
You’re going to run and hide like a scared
rabbit. To let the Germans kill the Americans.
SQUIRE
Eat, drink and be merry, my dear.
Nancy scans the woods.
NANCY
You’re coming with me. Or I’ll tell the
Americans you are a collaborator.
SQUIRE (CONT’D)
Collaborator, eh? You were the one who
was supposedly monitoring the boche
radio. Why did you not tumble to their
raid on our meeting place?
Squire bites the apple, chews.
NANCY
And you were the one supposedly watching
Gestapo headquarters. You must have seen
their squad leaving the building. Yet you did
not warn alert anyone about the raid.
SQUIRE
Go to your precious Americans. Tell them
whatever you want.
Nancy stares at him.
NANCY
We have to stick together.
SQUIRE
I don’t intend to do for their cause.
(beat)
For any cause!
The SNAP of a branch freezes them.
Squire drops to all fours, crawls behind a large tree.
Nancy runs over to him, tries to hide behind him. Squire
pushes her away.
SQUIRE
Find your own!
Nancy kicks him, crawls behind him.
Squire moans, covers his mouth, rubs his leg.
The SOUND OF MARCHING FEET approaches.
They wait, petrified.
The sound of marching feet lessens, moves off past them.
Nancy kicks Squire again.
NANCY
You could have got us both killed!
Nancy studies him. She narrows her eyes.
NANCY
Perhaps you wanted them to catch us.
Squire turns to her. He frowns.
SQUIRE
We all have to die some day.
NANCY
I’ve been wondering how the boche found
out about the meeting.
SQUIRE
Life is full of wondering.
NANCY
When I saw you near the entrance to the woods,
it looked like you were waiting for someone.
Someone like those soldiers who somehow failed
to see you when they looked right at you?
SQUIRE
Perhaps I willed myself invisible so they could
not see me.
NANCY
Perhaps they did not wish to see you.
SQUIRE
I am too important to risk. You go to the
Americans. I will remain here.
NANCY
You and I were the only one’s lucky enough not
to be at that meeting. You sold out to save
yourself.
SQUIRE
Perhaps it is you that have a friend in the Gestapo.
Considering your undeniable charms, perhaps this
someone is more than just a friend, eh?
NANCY
You really are a pig, but you can’t change the
subject. I will tell the Americans about you.
SQUIRE
You are not quite the Snow White you
make yourself out to be.
Nancy tenses. She takes a step towards him. She
studies him carefully. She looks around, nervous.
Squire stares at her, expectant.
SQUIRE (CONT’D)
Have you nothing to say?
NANCY
There will be a full moon tonight.
SQUIRE
One cannot prosper by rowing against
the tide.
NANCY
As sure as Somerset Maugham wrote
“The Moon and Sixpence.”
SQUIRE
As American as apple pie and doughboys.
They rush to each other. Nancy holds up two fingers on
her right hand. Squire holds up all ten fingers.
NANCY
They didn’t tell me you were a spy, too.
SQUIRE
I should have that soldier shot for staring at
me the way he did. If you had really been
part of the Resistance, you surely would
have reported me to the Americans.
(beat)
That fool was part of the first detail that
escorted me to see the Sturmbannfuhrer.
NANCY
The game-playing is over. We have to get
to the Americans. Sturmbannfuhrer Kohler
wants to make sure they walk into his trap.
SQUIRE
It is too dangerous right now.
NANCY
Herr Kohler will not be pleased to learn
you were trying to run away.
SQUIRE
Nonsense. I was testing you. Now let us
have no more of this foolishness. We go
to the Allies.
A SQUAD of American Army soldiers led by a CORPORAL, bleeds out from the woods to surround them.
CORPORAL
Don’t bother, Fritz. The Allies have come
to you. We heard every word you said.
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Barb Fix’s Horror Outline #1:
I learned to pack in a punch to my horror scenes.
1. INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
A nurse begins her shift to check on patients in a run-down creepy sanitarium. There’s chaos afoot and high-level security as this is for the criminally insane. Its a tense place and job. She enters restricted wing with 2 orderlies as guards.
2. INT. SANITARIUM – RESTRICTED WING – DAY
Within minutes she notices a deathly quiet and she and 2 orderlies discover something that makes them scream and throw up, cross themselves.
Horror Sit’n: Everything is super quiet and a door open.
Apprehension: Ellen and 2 orderlies exchange worried glances – this is not right and could mean bad to come.
3. INT. SANITARIUM – UTILITY ROOM – DAY
Inside a room are 11 brutally murdered co-workers – throats slit, eyes gouges out and hung nup. And an inmate Nick Cosomo is sitting there eating an eye-ball. The 2 orderlies try to tazer him and a struggle ensues bumping bodies about – super macabre, tense and terrible. Other doctors etc arrive and all are shocked at what they see. One doctor, Dr Chambers, sees his wife is one of the victims. He orders 2 orderlies to catch Cosomo and follow him. They do and drag Cosomo along, who acts like this is fun and games and he’s the star of the show.
Horror Sit’n: Everyone is dead, hanging.
Horror: Everyone brutally murdered. Blood everywhere. Killer/patient sits calmly and eats an eyeball.
Panic: 2 orderlies get into chaotic fight with killer/patient and bodies hanging are knocked around.
Apprehension: What will Dr C do when he sees his wife dead? What is he going to do to the killer/patient when he insists they drag him away after him?
4. INT. SANITARIUM – TREATMENT ROOM – DAY
The orderlies strap Cosomo into a chair. Dr CHambers orders them to leave and locks the door. He pulls out a scapula and starts to shave Cosomo’s temples. Cosomo plays within until he realizes the Dr is serious and is going to fry his brain, his oath meaning nothing. Cosomo freaks out and tries to get free. The police arrive and try to break down the door but Dr. Chambers ignores them and also ignores Cosomo when he suddenly says he DID NOT kill them, someone else did, but he wanted the credit. Dr Chambers is gone – he fries Cosomo, turning him into a vegetable before the police kick the door down.
Horror Sit’n: Dr C is going to harm the killer/patient.
Apprehension: Orderlies wonder what will Dr C do?
Fear: Cosomo finially realizes he is going be fried, and
Panic: Cosomo yells out for help and insists he did not do the killings.
25 YEARS LATER
5. EXT. ROAD – DAY
People are on the GOING TO HELL TOUR to visit murder sites. Their last stop is the sanitarium, now in disrepair but inside is a serial killer museum that has never opened as people protested and courts shut it down. We meet all the character – Charlie, Sandy, Barb, Taylor, Carson, Julie, Merrick, Sam, Terry, Yuko, Toshi, Lily, Lorraine and the Aussi. They stop and get out so bus driver/tour guide will tell them more.
6. EXT. SANITARIUM – CONT
They meet the creepy caretaker.
So far the tour has been lame so Charlie offers to pay the caretaker to let them see it. They are warned off <font face=”inherit”>by both bus driver and the caretaker, but decided to take it even further than an hour and stay OVERNIGHT as no one gets to see this museum. Charlie offer $1000 and $500 to tour guide come back in morning. He thinks its a great spot to shoot his next movie and that it will inspire him. Some agree to stay, each with a good reason to see the serial killer museum.
Their safety is taken away by caretaker, who takes their cell phones so no calls can be made.
Horror Sit’n: Caretaker is creepy. Then he insists on taking their phones.
Apprehension: People are taken aback by caretaker looks and vibe. Some people are Anxious about going in and get talked into it.
7. INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Within seconds of entering Bloodied bodies fall after they trip a wire. Its a set-up prank before the serial killer displays. They are terrified and scatter, falling all over the place. They gather themselves, chuckle and look for room to gather and dump their stuff as caretaker mentioned before they start exploring. Everyone was rattled, but ok now.
Honor Sit’n: A prank scare them.
Fear/Panic: The bloodied bodies drop one by one in the gloom scares the heck out of all of them. They scatter screaming!
Release: They get its a prank tripped by remote.
8. <b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>INT. SANITARIUM – DAY
Lily and Aussie set off alone as not into groups, while the others make plan to regroup in abhor as Lorraine says she is scared and wants out. Charlie mad b/c he paid $1000 and has the walkie so not agreeing until an hour has passed as maybe an hour is enough item anyway and they can all leave together. So its agreed to meet back in an hour.
9. INT. SANITARIUM – VARIOUS ROOM – DAY
People start exploring in various groups.
10. INT. SANITARIUM – Cannibal ROOM – DAY
Several are here when a man in Mexican mask enters with torquing drill. He is tackled and its revealed to be Charlie messing around. People are mad at him. He and Sandy leave.
Horror Sit’n: man threatens them with drill.
Fear/Panic: everyone screams and moves away.
Release: Merrick tackles guy and its just Charlie – prank 2.
11. INT. SANITARIUM – Samurai ROOM – DAY
Barb and Taylor talk with Japanese couple about serial killers in USA.
12. INT. SANITARIUM -Medical WARD – DAY
Sandy and Charlie are making out and someone with a bloody hand is watching them. Suddenly they hear a scream. They luckily leave the room alive and go to see what the scream is.
Horror Sit’n: someone is watching them and then scream elsewhere.
Apprehension: the bloody hand tells us someone is a killer!
Fear: Sudden scream.
13. INT. SANITARIUM – Room – day
Lots are gathered and some say they have to show them something. So when they enter, its another prank. Some get scared. After they realize its been an hour so they need to take the vote.
Horror Sit’n: A body swinging an axe comes at them.
Fear: Screams. Charlie is especially scared.
Release: Yet a 3rd prank, but good one.
14. INT. SANITARIUM – Ward – NIGHT
They go back to the entrance ward but not everyone showed up. Its dark outside now. Lorraine wants to go. Charlie and Taylor set out to find the others after Charlie pleads to stay longer. He tosses walkie to Lorainne to appease her.
15. INT. SANITARIUM – Various ROOM and halls – NIGHT
Charlie and Taylor look for the others. They notice a sword is missing. Decided to split up to cover ground faster.
16. INT. SANITARIUM – STAIRS – NIGHT
Charlie goes up and is cornered by a figure in black with the sword. He is killed as his body falls 3 flights. His fingers are chopped off and fall around him.
Horror SIt’n: Charlie cornered by killer with sword.
Apprehension: Charlie thinks its a prank at first.
Surprise: its not; the figure is serious and swings at him.
Fear: Charlie gets that this is real.
Horror: He tries to save himself, cutting off his fingers in process.
17. INT. SANITARIUM – Various ROOM and halls – NIGHT
Everyone hears his scream.
Taylor finds his body and runs for the ward where everyone else is.
Horror Sit’n: Screams are heard. Taylor sees body and blood.
Surprise: Taylor thinks its a prank then sees blood.
Fear/Panic: Taylor sees blood, then Charlie’s body falls, then fingers.
Horror: He runs away to find others.
Release: group thinks its one joke too many and are chilling.
18. INT. SANITARIUM – Ward – DAY
Carson and Julie have returned just before Taylor runs in saying Charlie is dead. They all laugh at him and say he’s been fooled by another Charlie prank. They all heard the screams and feel Charlie is just getting them back, but its bullshit. Taylor insists they follow him to Charlie’s body.
19. INT. SANITARIUM – SPOT OF Charlie’s death -NIGHT
NO BODY NO BLOOD. Taylor insists but no one believes him. As they leave we see a bloody finger hidden.
Horror Sit’n: finger hidden, but all else gone.
Apprehension: The body and blood is all gone. Who did that?
Fear: It is gone but one bloody finger hidden from site. This is real!
20. INT. SANITARIUM -Ward – NIGHT
The group discuss they need to find the missing 2 people and that Charlie is likely playing games and trying to mess around still… probably hired the caretaker etc etc. Anyway, they split up to cover ground faster and find themishing 2 and get out of there.
21.INT. SANITARIUM – Elevator – NIGHT
Sandy has a near miss in elevator stop and start, almost getting killed, but sigh of relief. But she gets out and sees figure in black.
Horror Sit’n: Sandy almost killed in elevator.
Apprehension: elevator stuck.
Surprise: door easy to open so tries to get out.
Fear: elevator starts to move when she is stuck in door
Release: elevator stops just in time. She gets free and falls into hallway, safe.
22. INT. SANITARIUM – Hallway – NIGHT
Assumes its Charlie and yells at him, but realizes its not and runs into …
Horror Sit’n: Yells at figure but realizes its someone else with a sword.
Fear: not Charlie, but someone with sword.
Panic: runs.
23. INT. SANITARIUM – KITCHEN – Night
Looking for a hiding spot. Gets in the oven as huge and unlikely. But killer figures it out and locks the door with the sword na turns on high, roasting Sandy.
Horror: Sit’n: Sandy hidden in oven. Killer finds her and turns it on.
Anxiety: can she hide from person?
Fear: hears scraping at door.
Horror: oven turned on and she is stuck inside!
24. INT. SANITARIUM – Fisherman ROOM – NIGHT
Barb and Taylor discuss why each is there and wanted to stay. Barb reporter doing story.
25. INT. SANITARIUM – Knitting Needle ROOM – NIGHT
Toshi and Yuko have fun here…. Martha Stewart and Snoop convo.
26. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Lorraine finds out info on Sam. Terry and Merrick lag behind. Find info room.
27. INT. SANITARIUM – INFO ROOM – NIGHT
In this room they see caretaker in photo!!!
28. INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Toshi and Yuko find dead Lily. SUicide or murder? Yuko screams. Some come running.
Horror Sit’n: Dead body found.
Fear: Yuko screams.
Panic: everyone runs to them.
Apprehension: did she kill herself or murdered?
Anxiety: some do not want to stay anymore. Get out!
29. INT. SANITARIUM – BUTCHER ROOM – NIGHT
Carson and Julie talk. They smell something and follow nose. Julie goes to bathroom while Carson heads in to kitchen. THEY DID NOT HEAR the scream.
30. INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Everyone gather who heard and want to get out of there. Where’s the walkie? In ward. They head there.
31. INT. SANITARIUM – KITCHEN – NIGHT
Carson sees Sandy dead and baked. He runs. Finds Julie, tell her and they run.
Horror Sit’n: Carson finds Sandy in oven.
Apprehension: will Carson find Sandy?
Fear: Carson realizes its Sandy in oven.
Panic: he yells at Julie to run!
32. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Carson runs into a terrible trap that injures him and holds him trapped.Julie faints from all the blood.
Horror Sit’n: Carson trapped in deadly trap.
Panic: the 2 are trying to get away fast.
Anxiety: Carson leaves Julie in his dust.
Fear: Julie hears Carson’s scream
Horror: She sees why he screamed.
33. INT. SANITARIUM – WARD – NIGHT
Walkie is gone. People are freaking. Merrick freaking about who is killer….makes list. Taylor admits he is grandson of Dr CHambers. Merrick goes after him. Barb stops it. CHILL! Yuko and Tishri think one of them is the killer so sneak away. The others see and try to stop them, but they run. They decide to go out in groups and find the ones missing and get out of there.
34. INT. SANITARIUM – SLICER ROOM – NIGHT
Julie wakes and tries to get Carson out of trap of hooks BUT then a long knife is stuck in his belly and worked down. Kills him. Julie runs.
Horror Sit’n: Julie tries to free Carson.
Anxiety: he’s fucked and she is not sure how to help.
Surprise: he encourages her to do awful things.
Panic: she stabs herself; he keeps screaming.
Horror: see why he is screaming; being gutted.
Fear: Carson yells run!
35. INT. SANITARIUM – Military ROOM – NIGHT
Yuko and Tosi killer one after another, swiftly.
Horror Sit’n: T and Y killed quickly.
Surprise: Yuko sees Toshi loose his head. Then suddenly knife coming at her.
36. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Sam and Lorraine chatting. She forgot cigarettes so puts Sam in a cell to keep him safe and dashes off.
37. INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
Julie hides in stall.
38. INT. SANITARIUM – cell – NIGHT
Sam is trapped in a jail cell, sprays with lighter fluid and set afire. Lorraine returns and finds him dead – she is devastated.
Horror Sit’n: Sam sprays with lighter fluid and lit afire.
Surprise: Sam thinks its Lorraine but sees figure.
Anxiety: What the hell is being spraying at him?
Fear: he smells what it is.
Panic: tries to get out of the way.
Horror: see match coming.
Monster reveal: can be anywhere and has all the tools to kill.
39. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Terry and Merrick argue about kills stuff.
40. INT. SANITARIUM – kill ROOM – NIGHT
Horror Situation: Barb and Taylor find the room were the murders took place 25 years earlier
41. INT. SANITARIUM – Medical ROOM – NIGHT
Terry decides to pull him into medical ward where Charlie and Sandy were and seduce him. Terry is killed. Marrick injured and gets chased.
Horror Sit’n: Terry and Merrick making out. Terry killed. Merrick injured.
Surprise: Merrick wonders why Terry quiet.
Fear: see arrow through her head.
Panic: tries to get clothes back on.
Horror: as running, his achilles is sliced and he falls.
42. INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
Julie still hiding.
43. INT. SANITARIUM – kill ROOM – NIGHT
Merrick being pursued and terrorized. Injured with hammer and knocked out.
Horror Sit’n: Merrick fallowing by killer.
Release: killer gone so Merrick is relieved.
Fear: see it coming again.
Panic: can’t move fast enough.
44. INT. SANITARIUM – ROOM – NIGHT
Taylor and Barb find bloody footprints of rats and follow them until they find the brutally murdered Ozzy. Rate are eating him.
Horror Sit’n: B and T find bloody footprints and follow.
Surprise: not sure what the marks are.
Apprehension: its blood and lots of them.
Horror: see body being eaten!
Panic: there’s a killer!
45. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Lorraine scared
46. INT. SANITARIUM – bathROOM – NIGHT
Julie hears someone come in to pee…its the killer, but she is not found.
Horror Sit’n: Julie knows killer is in bathroom with her.
Apprehension: someone enters.
Fear: sees the black fabric.
Release: person exits.
47. INT. SANITARIUM – ROOM – NIGHT
Barb and Taylor there IS A KILLER for sure and not someone messing around; they need to escape.
Horror Sit’n: they know now.
Anxiety: there is a killer and its very quiet – where are the others?
Panic: lets get out of here!
48. INT. SANITARIUM – Dryer – NIGHT
Merrick awakes he finds himself in a dryer with broken glass. Its turned on and he is ripped to shreds.
Horror Sit’n: Merrick in dryer to die.
Surprise: Merrick wonders where he is.
Fear: cuts hand and realizes there’s glass.
Surprise: see killer; knows who it is!
Horror: Dryer turned on and he spins killing him.
49. INT. SANITARIUM – hallways – NIGHT
Lorraine is moving along. She pulls out a building schematic. Why does she have that!?
Julie is moving along elsewhere looking for exit.
Barb and Taylor also and ….
50. INT. SANITARIUM – office ROOM – NIGHT
Taylor and Barb discover a room that gives them information on the facility and almost figure out who the killers are talking back and forth about what they recall about the girl, when the twins suddenly appear and confirm it. The twins want to revel in their plan and show off, telling them all.
Horror Sit’n: B and T figure its maybe the twins. The twins appear.
Surprise: at the information and then the appearance of the twins admitting they are the killers and now it makes sense that one played dead to get around.
Apprehension: what next?
Monster reveal: its explained how they were able to pull it off.
51. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Barb tells them they are insane and Lorraine shoots her, she falls over railing 2 stories down and seems dead. Then she knocks out Taylor. The 2 talk about their successful night and Lily says she saved one {Julie] for Lorraine since she got everyone else. They drag Taylor off toward treatment room.
Horror Sit’n: Barb shot and T dragged off.
Surprise: Barb shot. She teeters at edge.
Fear: T tries to grab her incase she falls.
Horror: Pushed over and falls 2 floors. T knocked out.
52. INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – NIGHT
Julie rushes to Barb and shakes her awake. She tells her she heard everything and helps wrap Barb’s wound.
53. INT. SANITARIUM – samurai ROOM – NIGHT
The girls grab weapons. Discuss plan to save T.
54. INT. SANITARIUM – treatment ROOM – NIGHT
Tyler has some hysteria being strapped down on the table about to be lobotomized. The twins explain more of their plan and why etc. Meanwhile Barb and Julie sneak up on them.
They rush in and its a fight to the death between the twins and Barb and Julie.
Everyone gets injured or maimed but Barb and Julie do kill the twins eventually. They release Taylor
Horror Sit’n: The twins explain why to T and what they plan to do to him. Then a rescue fight to the death occurs.
Surprise: T hearing the reason for all this.
Fear: hearing what they plant o do to him.
Apprehension: for B and J as they sneak up and get ready to charge.
Panic: B and J rush the room – the twins panic and a fight for the death occurs.
Horror: as all are injured or killed.
INT. SANITARIUM – hallway – Morning
all 3 escape to the front door to wait for the caretaker.
He finally arrives and unlocks the door. He laughs as he thought they would woo out earlier but sees the state of them and gets concerned. He rushes inside.
EXT. SANITARIUM – Morning
Now outside the sanitarium, the 3 search for their phones in the bucket. They are amazed to be out. Taylor calls 911.
While waiting for 911 to answer, the caretaker sneaks up behind the 3 with a sword. They are busy looking for phones so don’t notice or hear him.
The caretaker swings, a big smile on his face.
CUT TO BLACK and music.
Horror Sit’n: The caretaker appears with sword and swings.
Apprehension: as he sneaks up and no one sees him.
Fear: Will they are get killed????
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Lesson 15: Finishing Horror Outline Powerfully
Subject Line:(Huey J. Williams) Horror Outline Version 1
What I Learned:
Its fun and not so difficult to create Horror Stories, the step by step
method that ScreenwritingU teaches makes everything understandable,
educational, and straightforward. The one step at a time method.
I like the “Horror Map” of a scene concept, it’s a guide that keeps
you focused. I had a lot of fun writing this Horror Story.
THE THINGAMAJIG – HORROR SITUATION TRACK
1. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
NOTE: OPENING SCENE
Horror Situation:
A forest near a lake illuminated by a full moon, the sounds of desperate
HISSING, and INJURED WOLF GROWL, QUICK THUMPING HITTING THE GROUND, slithers
threw the bush in hot pursuit of a EIGHT POINT BUCK.
The Buck SHRIEKS in pain when something in the bushes rips off it’s feet and
begins devouring it, bones CRUNCHING SOUNDS.
CLOSE ON – Just the monster’s mouth chewing is seen, as it takes big bites of
dear meat.
The forest goes silent.
CLOSE ON – SCREECH OWL SHRIEKS, as he watches from a tree.
2. INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
A Group of High School Graduates celebrate, before leaving for college
with a camping trip in the woods.
ALDEN drives the motorhome, SHAD his dog liying at his side CORY rides shotgun,
GRAM, ASHLEY, CATE, and ZOEY sit together at the table, all close friends
throughout High School.
Alden pulls up and stops at a sign that reads: “Black Forest Keep Out”
APPREHENSION: As to why the warning.
SUSPENSE: Why the keep out order.
They continue to the campsite by the lake.
3. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE BY THE LAKE – NIGHT
Under a full moon, Ashley, Alden, and Shad pitch their tent and climb in.
Cate and Cory pitch their ten and climb in.
Zoey and Gram pitch their tent and climb in.
In the bushes hiding the monster watches, not making a sound.
Gram decides to go for a jog threw the woods, his nightly routine.
Gram retuns to camp and notices the motorhome is smoking.
The Group jumps into action rush to put out the elctrical fire, then back into their tents.
4. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Suddenly, there is a LOAD HISSIN followed by a SICK WOLF HOWL!
Everybody jumps out of bed.
APPREHENSION:They are isolated.
CREEPY MOMENT: Alden goes after Shad.
FEAR: Of the unknown all Characters.
PANIC: They have no idea what they are dealing with.
MONSTER REVEAL: Not seen yet, but its something strange.
Shad begins BARKING and GROWELING, then he runs out the tent in hot pursuit
into the woods after the monster.
Alden grabs his rifle and follows shad and tries to catch up into the woods.
5. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden enters area of the forest where he finds Shad’s collar and his fur scattered
on the ground, he picks up the collar.
Alden notes something in the bushes watching him, he can’t see what it
is but he knows it’s there, he keeps his gun on the ready as he heads back to
camp.
CREEPY MOMENT: Alden knows something watching him in the bush.
FEAR: The unknown.
EMOTIONAL: About loosing Shad.
UNNERVING: Death could be stairing at him in the bush.
6. EXT. BLACK FOREST CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Everyone in the camp, Ashley, Cory, Cate, Zoey, except for Gram are gathered
together in terror huging each other.
Alden returns with only Shad’s Tags and some of his fur.
Alden hugs Ashley almost in tears.
FEAR: Everyone at campsite.
SUSPENSE: What happend in the forest, and where is Shad.
DREAD: The death of Shad.
STARTLED: They know they are isolated and my be attacked.
They all move out of the tents into the motorhome.
7. INT. MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The Group make their way into the motorhome and bed down for the night.
Zoey tries to make a call home on her cell phone, no signal.
APREHENSION: Can’t call home.
ISOLATION: No phone signal.
Gram, and Alden armed decides to share watch duty for the night.
FEAR: Of unwanted visiter.
SUSPENSE: What is stalking them.
The monster is watching the motorhome in the bushes.
8. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
The monster enters the camp, ransacking the tents, then goes to
the motorhome and peeps threw the bathroom window.
9. INT. MOTOHOME – NIGHT
A Horror Situation:
Zoey is in the bathroom bushing he teeth, when she spot the monster’s
big eyees enlarged face staring at her, she SCREAMS and runs out of
the bathroom.
SHOCK: The monter’s face.
HYSTERIA: Gets her first look at the monster.
FEAR: Feels helpless.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being watched by a monster.
SCARED: Nearly to death, fear capture.
Zoey, Ashley, Cate begin SCREAMING as LOUD as they can!
FEAR: For their life.
DREAD: Of what might happen to them.
HYSTERIA: Of the monster capturing them.
SHOCK: There being a monster hunting them.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
The monster jumps up and downon the motorhome HISSING, HOWLING LIKE AN
INJURED WOLF, shaking things up and SHOUTS FEED ME over and over.
10. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory, go into action each armed, they make their way out of the
motorhome they get their first look at the monster, and begin shooting.
SHOCK: Their first look at the monster.
FEAR: They know nothing about the monster.
STARTLED: Never seen anything like this before.
EMOTIONAL: They could loose their lives.
DREAD: Must come up with a way to destroy monster.
CREEPY MOMENT: Something they have never seen before.
MONSTER REVEALED: First look at monster.
They make multiple hits, but it doesn’t kill the monster, it runs away into the
darkness.
SURPRISE: Bullets won’t kill monster.
Alden, Gram, Cory are sweating, knees kocking, wide eyeed and they can’t believe
what they just saw.
11. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Later that evening the Thingamajig strikes again this time Cate, Zoey, and Ashley all
get a look at it, as it raids the tents looking for food or one of them.
DREAD: Never seen a monster before.
HYSTERIA: Afraid to die.
FEAR: nearly scared to death.
Ashley, Cate, Zoey CRYING, sweating, Zoey soil herselves.
12. EXT. OUTSIDE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden, Gram, Cory attack the Thingamajig a battle begins with fire, (molotov cocktails), they miss,
and they chase the Thingamajig, it’s tracks leads them deep into the black forest.
The Thingamajig, makes his way back to the motorhome.
13. INT. THE MOTORHOME BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey are lock inside waiting for Alden, Cory, and Gram to return, they begin hearing
STRANGE NOISES outside the motorhome.
APPREHENSION: Waiting for Aden, Cory, and Gram to return safely.
FEAR: Monster my return.
ANXIETY: Worry, nervous.
Cate peeps outside the window and sees a hairy body runs past, she starts SCREAMING, so do Ashley and Zoey.
The Thingamajig starts turning the door knob, trying to get into the motohome, and he’s chanting FEED
ME over and over.
The Thingamajig opens the door to the motorhome, stairing at the girl salivating at the mouth, it GROWLS LIKE
A WOLF as it is about to enter.
SHOCK: Fears for their lives.
HYSTERIA: Doomed by the monster.
PANIC: Monster my come in motorhome.
DREAD: Death is at the door.
14. EXT./INT. CAMPSITE MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Alden, Cory, and Gram appear, start firing shot at the Thingamajig and it runs into the woods.
Alden, Cory, and Gram rush into the motorhome and hugg their CRYING girl friends.
RELEASE: The girls are saved.
ALDEN
We were chasing the Thingamajig it trick us, we never thought
it would double back here to the motorhome.
15. EXT. CAMPSITE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig returns and begins HOWLING, near the motorhome, Alden, Cory, and Gram take action, head
out to fight the Thingamajig.
Face to face with the Thingamajig, Alden, Cory, and Gram begin throwing molotov cocktail, but the
Thingamajig is quick, they miss.
Gram moves in close for a better shot with the molotov cocktail.
The Thingamajig charges, grabs Gram, runs into the darkness of the forest.
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey watch and begin SCREAMING, and close the motorhome door, hide.
Alden and Cory, armed place four molotov cocktails in cooler and head out tracking Gram and
the thingamajig, they follow the Thingamajig’s foot prints to his hideout.
ANGUISH: Gram’s capture.
DREAD: Must try and save Gram.
16. EXT. BLACK FOREST THINGAMAJIG’S HIDEOUT – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
The Thingamajig hideout, a near hole in the ground.
Alden and Cory arrive at the Thingamajig’s cave.
APPREHENSION/SUPENSE: The challenge to try and save Gram and kill the Thingamajig.
ANXIETY/FEAR/CREEPY MOMENT/DISTURBING ENVIRONMENT: They must do what has to be done.
17. INT. THINGAMAJIG’S LAIR – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
Alden and Cory enter the Thingamajig’s lair slowly, molotov cocktails in hand, as they
move deeper into the cave.
Suddenly a BIG BLACK BAT attacks them on his way out of
the cave.
PANIC: They almost run.
SURPISE: The bat scraches them.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the Thingamajig’s lair.
In the distance Alden and Cory, hear sounds of BONES CRUNCHING, CHEWING, and SWALLOWING,
then it stops.
Alden and Cory look at each other’
APPREHENSION: The sounds in the distance.
FEAR: In the shaddows the Thingamajig waits.
SUSPENSE: Will Gram be alive.
DREAD: What will they find.
Alden and Cory look at each other.(Fear/Anguish)
With blood, gutes, and gleaming sharp teeth, the Thingamajig leaps out, almost grabing Cory,
as he jumps out of the way.
Alden throws a molotov cocktail and misses.
The Thingamajig spits a black paste at Alden, misses, jumps at him,
Cory throws a molotov cocktail, which catches the Thingamajig’s leg on fire.
The Thingamajig WOLF HOWLS in pain.
Alden throws his last molotov cocktail, hitting the Thingamajig’s upper body, he hits
the ground burning, HOWLING.
Alden and Cory fire several shots into the Thingamajig’s body, as it burns, then it morphs
into something even more hideous.
As it burns the Thingamajig morphs to a BIG MAGGOT, then to ASH.
RELEASE: Finally the kill the Thingamajig.
The go deeper into the cave and they find the half eaten body of Gram, they stair at his body,
both almost in tears, they bury whats left of Gram’s body and head back to camp.
DREAD: For their friend.
ANGUIH: They couldn’t save Gram.
GROSSED OUT: To see his half eaten body.
CREEPY MOMENT: Being in the cave.
18. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Alden and Cory take Gram’s body out of the cave and bury him in the forest, then make their
way back to the camp.
19. EXT./INT. MOTORHOME – NIGHT
Ashley, Cate, Zoey stand at the motorhome happy to see Alden, informs then that Gram is
dead, and so is the monster, Zoey begins CRYING.
ANGUISH:CRYING for her lost love.
20. EXT. THE BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Together with Ashley, Cate, Zoey, Alden and Cory hike their way out to the main road,
where they catch a ride back to town for help.
RELEASE: Headed home.
As they walk huddled threw the black forest there is movement in the bushes.
Ashley, Cate, and Zoey start SCREAMING, Alden and Cory take aim.
Out walks an EIGHT POINT BUCK, looks at them, then wanders back into the woods.
They all take a deep breath, sigh of relief.
STARTLED: Thought it was another monster.
EMOTIONAL: Sared
RELEASE: False alarm, no threat.
21. EXT. BLACK FOREST – NIGHT
Horror Situation:
What appears as a falling star lights the sky, then lands near the lake.
CLOSE ON – A Thingamajig sureys the forest, grimaceing look on his face, looks at
the moon, HISSES and INJURED WOLF HOWLS into the night…
SUSPENSE: Who will be next, time will tell.
FADE OUT
-
Joyce’s Outline Powerfully
WIL: I have the horror scenes, but not the setup scenes. I have too many scenes fleshed out with dialogue.
INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT
Blaine works off his depression on the basketball court and is unaware of Jon (the monster) in the scoreboard booth.
Blaine takes another long shot.
Lights flicker.
Scares. He bounces the ball in place, looks around, takes the ball down the court with less enthusiasm.
Swish he scores an easy shot.
He fends off imaginary opponents, goes mid court, and throws. Swish.
The scoreboard lights blink and show points.
Nervous, Blaine wipes his nose and speaks to the dark corners of the gym. His voice cracks.
Suspense. Jon’s back looms in the booth. He wears the tiger costume head
Blaine tries to see in the dim light.
In a mad series of one-man play, he checks the gym between shots. Talks to the unseen controller.
Scoreboard goes crazy.
He aims a long shot that hits the backboard ready to plop into the basket. Two knives swish through the air and pierce the ball. It drops to the floor.
Blaine yells at the thrower in the dark. A slash. A scream. Blaine drops to his knees, bleeding. He falls on his face.
Jon leans over Blaine. His dark figure raises a knife and it plunges into Blaine. Jon drags the body.
Release. The scoreboard spits and spits. Then explodes.
Jon’s silhouette like a crouching tiger pads into the darkness.
INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT
After the loud crash Scott and Chad race to the gymnasium. They are cautious.
The lights flicker and most are out.
Chad says he smells burning wires.
They are apprehensive.
Shock. Scott stumble on Blaine’s feet.
Fear and dread. Chad gropes in the dark to yank the controls to raise the bleachers off the body.
The motor runs, but nothing goes up.
Chad takes out his cell phone.
No signal.
Release. They try to lift the bleachers manually,and move the section of bleachers a few inches.
Scott pulls on Blaine’s feet.
He drops them. They are bloody stumps.
Chad bends over, sick and in disgust.
Panic.Chad shines phone light around and at basketball net.
Blaine’s bleeding body hangs from it, missing legs.
Scott shakes the light as Chad cuts the body down.
In the doorway Haley stands, watches, and screams. She reels into the hall and sinks down against the lockers. Sobs.
Down the hall the shadow of a tiger moves away.
Hysteria. Scott runs to her, She points at Jon’s figure. Too late. He’s gone.
INT. BAND ROOM – NIGHT
Gray comes to bring Angel to the others, but Jon is already there to kill her.
RELEASE:A portable light shines on Angel and the drums she pounds. She screeches a fight song.
SUSPENSE:Jon wears the tiger head as he appears from the darkened hallway. He weaves past band chairs toward her.
Release: Angel mistakes him for Gray. Makes fun of him.
Release: Gray comes into the room. He yealls for her to come with him.
Fear. Jon swings a music stand at Gray.
Horror. They fight. Jon hits Gray again with the stand.
§Angel tosses the drumsticks at Jon and then she struggles to reach her baton.
Gray lies stunned.
Angel twirls the baton toward Jon. He grabs it.
She goes back and holds up a drum.
Jon thrusts the baton through the drum and her chest.
Gray crawls to him and yanks Jon’s feet out from under him.
He pins Jon down with a music stand. And tears off the tiger head.
Shocked, Gray sits back.
Jon shoves him and bolts out the door.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
Desperate fear: Chad goes to get §Angel and Gray via the trophy display. He breaks the trophy case glass and takes out one the right size for a weapon.
Chad heads for the band room.
Horror/shock Angel is dead from a batton thrust to her chest.
Hysteria. Chad backs from there. He follows a trail of blood.
He meets Jon. Chad recognizes him.
He calls him a loser. They fight in the hall.
Chad is no match for Jon.
Beats him with the trophy. Chad lies in the hall dying.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Maybe Jon isn’t the only monster.
Janitor Mooney acts out drunken fury toward Latoya. He grabs books from her and hits her.
She grabs his empty bottle and cracks it.
He shies away from the sharp edges.
He yells as Jon enters.
Latoya holds out the glass.
Jon elbows Janitor Mooney. Mooney hits the floor.
Latoya aims the bottle at Jon.
He grabs her arm and rams the broken glass at her neck.
She collapses.
Kristine fires an arrow. It lodges in his upper thigh.
He screams.
Bores into his shoulder.
Kristine sets another one in the bow.
Jon turns, lunges. He flays his arms at her.
She lets go the arrow, but he deflects it.
He closes in.
She grabs the arrow in his shoulder and swings him behind her, she slams a yearbook across his face.
He crouches stunned.
Fear. She scrambles for the broken bottle and defends herself.
Release. Jon limps from her and disappears into a dark passageway.
Kristine goes to Laatoya and stuffs paper into her wound.
She helps her to her feet and drags her out into the passageway. Dread. She follows the tracks Jon leaves.
At a narrow window she leans Latoya against the wall.
She squeases through the opening.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – NIGHT
An escape is found, but Jon may be watching.
The moon goes behind clouds. Rain begins, light rain at first, then it blows . The bulldozer lights up.
Jon runs the dozer, adds dirt to fill the excavation.
Kristine stands dumbfounded and defeated.
She holds out her hands.
Nothing is around her but mud.
She crawls and slides around the excavasion.
The bulldozer backs up for another run.
Kristine makes her way to Scott, reaches down, and he grabs her wrist,
Instead of burying him, the dirt boosts him.
Kristine heaves him above the pit. She slides him to safety.
She comes around the side of the bulldozer and slings two wads of mud at Jon’s head.
She climbs up and kicks Jon from the seat.
He drops into the mud.
Kristine backs up the dozer and the blade gathers mud, buries Jon. He rolls into the pit.
Kristine backs up, changes direction, and rams the building.
She helps Latoya outside.
Scott stands, coughs, and stumbles to her.
KRISTINE
Our chariot.
Scott helps Kristine raise Latoya in the cab and climbs in with them.
Kristine rams through the fence gate and on to the street.
EXT. INT. SCHOOL BUILDING – NIGHT
Kristine and Scott give up safety to go back and retrieve evidence to prove what went on.
EXT. INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT
They have no idea if Jon is alive.
They sneak in at the back.
They find dead Janitor Mooney whom Jon stuffs in furnace.
They struggle with Jon.
Scott is thrown aside on a pile of books.
Kristine battles Jon alone.
Jon pours gasoline and sets fire to the building.
He bangs Kristine against the furnace.
She kicks him and punches him.
Jon lies unable to get up.
The flames are intense.
Kristine yanks Scott to his feet.
Scott saves two yearbooks from the blaze.
They have to leave.
EXT. INT. SCHOOL BUILDING – NIGHT
Scott and Kristine tell her that her son is a murderer.
Kristine helps Scott get away.
Principal stands with husband. She orders him to save their son, but he refuses. He can’t move fast enough.
She claws inside through the smoke she pulls Jon from the blazing fire, but outside she collapses and dies.
Jon fades away in the smoke.
-
This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Joyce Davidson.
-
Revised outline.
EXT. INT. HOME – DAY
New, expensive neighborhood house with sign in the yard. “Model Home” sold.
A BMW-type car parks in the driveway.
KRISTINE steps out and walks to the mailbox, carries into the house several letters and an 8X10 mailer.
She rips open an envelope with a black border, an invitation to her 10th high school reunion.
Kristine looks puzzled and somewhat disturbed. She looks puzzled and somewhat disturbed.
A mysterious app signature shows up on phone and computer.
When she calls her father, a judge, and says she’s coming home to Lawtry Falls for a reunion and will visit him.
He warns her not to come. He will be guest lecturer at a law school and not at home. The townspeople have not forgotten the old scandal and won’t be friendly.
Flashback: On the day for delivering the Lawtry Falls yearbook, students are furious, for certain pictures are demeaning, vulgar, and damaging.
One girl is found in the river.Even though the students claim they never saw the hateful photos, police blame the annual staff.
Flashback:
The school board charges the yearbook staff with this crime, but they plead innocence. There is no proof any of them waylayed the book at the printing shop, but all books had to be returned to the school. They rule girl’s death is suicide. Her sister Angel was on the staff.
BACK TO SCENE:
Kristine’s husband MYLES comes home with interior designer PALMER. They are planning a new decor for the display houses.
Kristine wants to talk to husband privately.
Palmer leaves.
Kristine asks why they have to move into a new house so often. She wants her own home so they can settle down with a family.
He promises he will after he hits it big with his construction company projects. Why does she bring this up now?
She shows the invitation.
Myles suggests that she should go to the reunion and not make it a big deal. He’s too busy to leave. He’ll call.
EXT. INT. CAR (MOVING) – DAY
LATOYA, yearbook editor at Lawtry Falls ten years ago, asks to ride with Kristine.
They agree that they are crazy to let the townies set their claws in them again, and the black border on the invitation is in poor taste. Where’s the orange?
In the town Kristine stops to give sport’s editor BLAINE a ride to the dinner meeting.
He isn’t sure they should be seen with him. He’s not welcome most places, either. Everybody in town was positive he’d be in the NBA. It’s a wonder he lives here, but where else could he go? He lost his scholarship when the school lost the big game.
BLAINE gets into car.
They take him to room at hotel to clean up.
They compare invitations, all have black borders.
Kristine suggests they party without going.
EXT. INT. HOTEL- DAY
Marquee says reunion.
Blaine shows the yearbook to her with insulting pictures and comments.
That isn’t all Blaine shows them. There is a picture of him. He’s slam dunking, but the page has red streaks around it.
Latoya shows her yearbook. It also has ugly pictures and one of her holding a book, but it has a grotesque figure drawn on it.
Why didn’t Kristine bring her mailer?
They decide they have to go downstairs to the reunion.
INT. HOTEL BALLROOM – NIGHT
People mingle around tables set for dinner.
When Blaine walks past, guests part and stare at him.
Latoya gives them a look back. She sympathizes with him.
CHAD and GRAY cross the room to the three.
Gray slaps Blaine on the back Chad kisses Kristine.
She shrinks from him. Scott reminds him that she is married.
When they sit there are place cards for all of the yearbook staff from years ago.
They received similar desicrated yearbooks. One says the yearbooks that had to be destroyed years ago are still showing up in the school.
They want to go find them.
Principal speaks and says school has been sold to be renovated for apartments. Says to stay out of there.
Kristine goes out to phone Myles. Yes, he knew it was sold. His company bought it. He can’t talk now. Maybe, she can check it out while she is there.
Blaine should know these things. He lives in town, never went anywhere after losing the big game. Should have had a scholarship and gone pro. Class president Scott goes between them.
EXT. INT. HIGH SCHOOL – NIGHT
The group goes inside. Lights are on. Somewhere down the halls is giggling and slamming of lockers. Chad holds group back and offers to investigate, but before he moves, a couple of teenagers run outand slam the door as they go.
The lights flicker.
Where do they start?
Chad will organize.
Kristine laughs.
He isn’t impressed.
They go to the library first.
HALEY blames Latoya for messing up as editor.
ANGEL digs Haley about losing first place in honors.
HALEY
I should have been valedictorian.
They circle a picture in the book. Chad is down with the goal post wrapped around his neck and body.
GRAY
Photo edit. You can’t be worried about that. It’s a joke.
Chad grabs him.
CHAD
Maybe you think it’s funny. Took you long enough to show how jealous you are.
GRAY
I didn’t print that. Cripes, I’ve had plenty of chances to get back at you.
KRISTINE
Why, Gray?
GRAY
Nevermind.
Lights flicker and go out. Auxiliary lights come on, but they are dim.
BLAINE
I’m out of here. We won’t find anything tonight.
He goes.
They hear his footsteps down the hall.
CHAD
We know where there’s one room always bright and shiny.
SCOTT
Next to the yearbook room.
ANGEL
The pot room.
CHAD
And I have a bag or two.
KRISTINE
I’ll catch up with Blaine.
ANGEL
Still a Miss Priss, go on home, then. Nice seeing you – aging.
Kristine leaves them as they head the opposite direction.
Loud banging. They keep walking. More banging from a different direction. They get to the furnace room.
Chad shares his stash.
JANITOR Mooney comes in.
JANITOR
What. You creeps. Gonna get me fired.
ANGEL
Well, Mr. Mooney. Let’s call the cops.
HALEY
He won’t. Now we’re old enough to slap his disgusting hands. Keep them to yourself, old man.
JANITOR
You came for them books. I seen them pictures. A lot of folks wanted to run you out of town.
SCOT
You saw copies? Where?
JANITOR
All over the schoolhouse in lockers, on shelves under bleechers in the gym.
Chad stomps his joint.
CHAD
Lets go. We can canvas the school. We’ll take hall lockers first.
They go into the hall and start opening and slamming locker doors.
Kristine and Blaine join them.
KRISTINE
Blaine was halfway down the steet. Then we couldn’t get back inside. only one door is open.
GRAY
Mooney found books all over the place. You each take a hall and check it.
BLAINE
You’re kidding. We can’t find all of them. It takes a single copy to steam up the town again and I got nowhere else to go.
CHAD
Look in the gym, then.
GRAY
I’ll search the boy’s locker room.
KRISTINE
Perhaps, we should work together, two by two. Latoya, come with me.
SCOTT
I will. You know, one guy and one gal.
CHAD
Oh, sure.
Kristine and Scott move away.
CHAD
Haley, partner with me.
HALEY
As long as you never tell a soul.
They go another direction.
LATOYA
The library is a likely place.
ANGEL
It’s yours. I’ll be in the band room.
LATOYA
BUT, ANGEL —
ANGEL
If Mooney bothers you just punch him out.
LATOYA
He messed with you, too.
ANGEL
Until I threatened to smash his head with my batton.
INT. GYMNASIUM – NIGHT
The bleachers are folded up against the walls.
Blaine dribbles a ball, down the court and tosses it in. He plays a frenzied one-man throw and retrieve.
One eye watches him from the scoreboard booth.
Blaine stops playing, shrugs, and feints, dribbles to make a long shot.
The ball bounces ofF the rim. He snags it and goes back.
INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT
Montage
Kristine and Scott on opposite sides of a hall banging lockers, open and close them.
Latoya searches in the library.
Angel in the bandroom beats on a drumset.
Chad and Haley pass a trophy display next to girls’ locker room.
Gray is in boys’ locker room.
INT. BOYS’ LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
Nothing shows up in the first row of lockers except his old mascot costume. He removes his jacket and puts on the tiger suit. He opens another row fast. No head for the costume.
He opens the last row where there is a yearbook and a picture.
Picture: Blaine, a teenager, jumping for a basket.
Gray talks to himself. He opens the next and finds the same.
Picture:
One of Blaine’e arms is missing and red streaks come from the shoulder.
BACK TO SCENE
Gray hesitates at the next locker, grabs it and jerks it open to a third picture.
Picture:
Both of Blaine’s arms are gone.
BACK TO SCENE
Gray slams the door shut. He leafs through the yearbook to sports.
Picture:
The action shot has been changed. Both legs and arms are missing from Blaine’s body.
BACK TO SCENE
Gray scrams out of there.
INT. GIRL’S LOCKER ROOM — NIGHT
The lockers stand open and Haley is in a small office, big glass window.
An eye is visible at a peep hole.
In a closet Haley finds a bow and arrows.
She sits at the desk and goes through the drawers. Old papers and grade books remain, but at the bottom of a drawer is a yearbook.
Suddenly Chad’s deep voice scares her.
Chad laughs.
HALEY
Where are you, dummy? Okay, spying on me. Sick Creep.
CHAD
My pocket money for lunch for years.
Chad runs into the room.
HALEY
We had a view to the boys’ locker room.
CHAD
Why? You’re rich.
HALEY
No charge.
She stands and chair rises and pulls her back.
HALEY
I’m stuck.
Chad tries to lift her.
Super glue. He takes out a pocket knife and cuts the back of her dress, puts a hole in the center and draws it over her head.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott and Kristine carry in yearbooks they found.
Latoya shows the few she has.
Half of the group chalk everything up to a joker, but which one is it?
Gray gasps, plops in and on a chair with Blaine’s pictures.
INT. GYM – NIGHT
Blaine takes another long shot.
Two knives swish and pierce the ball. It flops.
Blaine turns, but the thrower is in the dark.
BLAINE
You didn’t have do that. Always joking. This has gone far enough, buddy.
A slash. A scream. Blaine drops to his knees, bleeding. He falls on his face.
A whirring noise precedes a crash as stored bleachers rumble down over the body.
A silouette of a crouching tiger moves into the darkness.
INT. GIRLS’ LOCKER ROOM – NIGHT
Haley and Chad react to the scream and run. She carries the bow and arrows. Chad brings the yearbook.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
All stand in the hall outside. Gray shows the picture in the yearbook.
Scott and Chad leave Gray in charge of the girls and go to the gym.
INT. GYM – NIGHT
The lights are flickering and half go out.
Chad and Scott try to raise the bleachers at the controls, but it won’t budge.
They stumble on Blaine’s feet and try to lift the bleachers manually.
Chad holds the bottom. Scott pulls Blaine’s feet. No body, just legs.
They shine a light.
Blaine’s bleeding torso hangs from the basketball net.
Chad cuts him down.
Haley stands in the doorway and screams.
She staggers to the hall and drops down.
Down the hall is a shadow of a tiger.
She points at it when Scott comes to her.
The shadow moves away.
She blames Gray.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott, Chad, and Haley join the others.
They leaf through all books and find groteque pictures in place of the originals.
Haley accuses Gray. He was the photographer.
INT. SCHOOL – NIGHT
Scott and Chad don’t want the women to see Blaine.
Haley yells at them and tells the women what she saw.
Kristine insists that someone has to try the front door. Scott volunteers at once.
Kristine wants someone to go to the band room for Angel.
Haley surely won’t go.
Gray demands that Haley must quit blaming him.
Kristine says it is all her fault. She brought Blaine back. ~It must be over now. All are accounted for.
Chad says he blames the janitor. Mooney wasn’t with them, and Angel wouldn’t have the strength to kill Blaine. Neither would Gray.
Since Latoya was yearbook editor she calls on them to burn these books now.
Gray volunteers to bring Angel, He leaves. The rest go to the furnace room.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Janitor Mooney sits in a chair and drinks.
The group circles him.
Chad pulls him out of the chair. Threatens him.
Haley readies an arrow.
Kristine reprimands her. It isn’t necessary.
Chad interrogates Mooney.
Kristine attempts to make peace.
Janitor saw the body. He’s ready to get drunk.
Latoya wants all the yearbooks burned.
Janitor Mooney drags out a box, leftovers from the scandal.
Each of the staff thumbs through them.
Haley shows a picture of the archery teacher.
Haley is star, but Angel’s older sister was good.
Her sister’s picture shows her after drowning in a river.
Mooney says that maybe she did kill herself, and maybe she had help. He claims the furnace has not been in use for 9 years. There is no fuel.
Kristine wants everyone to stop. They have gone about everything wrong. They have to have a way out, need communication, and have to trust each other. They have ruined evidence by handling the books.
Chad reminds her that a new scandal will hurt them all.
Haley adds, if they live to see it.
They go back to library.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Scott reports that the inner and outside doors are bolted shut.
High windows string along 20 foot walls.
Scott breaks chair legs off.
He hands some to Latoya. She decides to go and burn the yearbooks.
She and Haley take them.
Scott and Chad shove high book shelves to the wall, tip them like a ladder.
Scott climbs them.
SCOTT
I’m going for help.
INT. BAND ROOM – NIGHT
Jon has the tiger head on and comes in while Angel is beating the drums.
Mistaking Jon for Gray, she makes fun of him, the former school mascot.
When Gray enters, Jon hits him with a music stand. They fight. Gray is down.
Angel tries to help.
She stabs drum sticks into Jon and runs.
Jon thrusts a batton into her chest.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – NIGHT
Chad worries about Angel and Gray. He heads for the band room.
Angel is dead .
Chad backs from there. He follows a trail of blood.
He meets Jon in the tiger head.
When the Jon takes it off, Chad recognizes him as the principal’s deranged son..
He calls him a loser. They fight in the hall and Jon slams him into the trophy case and beats him with a trophy. Chad lies in the hall dying.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Haley rips pages and starts the wood burning.
Latoya goes to the yearbook room for solvent.
She brings it and the flames grow. They burn yearbooks.
They enter the next room for any books there and discover a box full of them.
Hayley leaves Latoya to get more wood.
Gray still in his costume but now he has on the head and lunges at her in the hall.
HALEY
You found the tiger head. Let go of me.
He slides to the floor.
Haley pulls off the head.
His neck gushes blood, slashed.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
At the top of the shelving Scott breaks a window. He crawls out through it.
Below is an excavation filled with muddy water. He grasps the building trim. He gropes along toward ground, but he drops into the water. He surfaces and swims to the side. It is too muddy and slippery to get a hold.
INT. FURNACE ROOM – NIGHT
Janitor Mooney acts out drunken fury toward Latoya. He grabs books from her and hits her. She grabs his empty bottle and cracks it. He backs away.
Jon enters.
Latoya slinks back.
Jon beats Janitor to the floor.
Latoya swings the bottle at Jon.
He rams the broken glass at her neck.
She collapses.
He screams. An arrow pierces his upper thigh. Another bores into his shoulder.
Kristine loads another one in the bow.
Jon turns, staggers. He swings his arms at her.
She lets go the arrow, but he deflects it.
He closes in .
She grabs the arrow in his shoulder and swings him behind her, she slams a yearbook across his face.
He is stunned.
She lifts the bloody glass broken bottle and defends herself.
Jon limps from her and disappears into a dark passageway.
Kristine goes to Latoya and stuffs her wound.
She helps her to her feet and drags her out into the passageway. She follows the tracks Jon leaves.
At a narrow window she leans Latoya against the wall.
She squeases through the opening.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – NIGHT
The moon goes behind clouds. Rain begins, light rain at first, then it blows . The bulldozer lights up.
Jon begins filling the excavation.
Kristine stands dumbfounded and defeated.
She holds out empty hands.
Nothing is around her but mud.
She crawls and slides around the excavasion.
The bulldozer backs up for another run.
Kristine makes her way to Scott, reaches down, and he grabs her hand, Instead of burying him, the dirt gives him a boost.
Kristine heaves him above the pit. She slides him to safety.
She comes around the side of the bulldozer and slings two wads of mud at Jon’s head.
She climbs up and kicks Jon from the seat.
He drops into the mud.
Kristine backs up the dozer and the blade gathers Jon with the dirt. He rolls into the pit.
Kristine backs up, changes direction, and rams the building.
She rushes inside and brings Latoya outside.
Scott stands, coughs, and stumbles to her.
KRISTINE
Our chariot.
Scott helps Kristine lift Latoya into the cab and climbs in with them.
Kristine rams a gate and on to the street.
EXT. INT. HOSPITAL REST ROOM – NIGHT
The last of the grime washes off. Kristine looks at herself in the mirror. She shakes away a tear, but her lips quivver.
Hospital room Latoya is hooked up to machines.
Scott stands beside the bed.
SCOTT
Don’t expect too great an improvement.
KRISTINE
I must.
SCOTT
I mean, right away. She hasn’t opened her eyes, yet. Probably won’t know us.
Latoya’s eyes flutter.
LATOYA
Kristine.
KRISTINE
Yes. I’m here. It’s over. You can rest.
LATOYA
The Tiger Claw.
KRISTINE
Put to bed, too. No more worries.
LATOYA
My staff?
SCOTT
We’re it. Rest now.
LATOYA
Oh. I, I’ll sleep.
KRISTINE
Good night.
Scott and Kristine go to the nurse’s desk.
KRISTINE
We haven’t had any phones. Could I call my husband?
The nurse hands her a phone.
Scott walks away.
KRISTINE
Myles,….yes, it’s very late. I’m sorry. The building? I’ll give you a report when I come home….well, in a day or two, I suspect. I hear the t. v. don’t wait up for me. Love you.
Scott looks at his feet.
KRISTINE
When will the doctor operate?
SCOTT
He’ll want her to be stable.
KRISTINE
None of this was her fault. Not the scandal, the reunion, that sick maniac.
SCOTT
Or our friends.
KRISTINE
He was such a mean kid, but why, why did he turn – Scott takes her in his arms.
The alarm sounds. Nurses run to Latoya’s room.
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
Kristine’s car is at the curb.
Scott gets in behind the wheel.
The police will want statements.
KRISTINE
It’s unfair. Everything. After what we went through.
SCOTT
Unless you know somebody.
KRISTINE
You called my father.
SCOTT
He wanted to know.
They drive to a highway.
INT. HOME – NIGHT
SCOTT
Shall I wait here?
KRISTINE
I have a land line. I’ll call you.
Kristine goes inside.
Myles is mixing a drink.
He smiles as he turns. The smile fades.
MYLES
Kristine. You said a couple of days.
She explains, but Myles interrupts her. He heard the news. He wonders if the building will have a bad reputation.
Kristine frowns at him. Of course, he understands she was in danger and is exhausted.
He carries her suitcsse for her to her room. She unpacks.
The door is ajar. She sees Pamela.
She phones Scott from her room.
When he arrives, Kristine and Pamela meet at the door.
Pamela lies that she just arrived.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Scott and Kristine are the last to leave the plot. She says they made a mistake.
She wants to go back to the school. They have to keep one yearbook with pictures of violence for proof that there is a killer among them.
EXT. INT. SCHOOL BUILDING – NIGHT
They sneak in at the back. Kristine and Scott retrieve evidence to prove what went on.
They have no idea if Jon is alive.
They find dead Janitor Mooney Jon stuffs in furnace.
Scott leaps on Jon. Scott, thrown aside on a pile of books, hits his head.
Kristine battles Jon alone. he socks her.
Jon pours gasoline and sets fire to the building.
He bangs Kristine against the furnace.
She kicks him and punches him.
Jon lies unable to get up.
The flames are intense.
Kristine yanks Scott to his feet.
Scott saves two yearbooks from the blaze.
EXT. INT. SCHOOL BUILDING – NIGHT
They leave through the narow opening at the back.
Principal waits there with her husband, the formere principal now retired.
She has called fire department.
Scott and Kristine tell her that her son is a murderer.
Kristine helps Scott get away.
Principal orders husband to save their son, but he refuses. He can’t move fast enough.
She claws inside through the smoke she pulls Jon from the blazing fire.
outside Jon shoves her. She collapses . Husband holds her, but she dies.
Jon fades away in the smoke.
the end
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by
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Brian King’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned… that I had to be flexible from the last outline, and just keep writing, focusing on the Horror emotions. I found improvements to make and strides to make for the next outline. By doing the assignment I focused on the scares and not the exposition, finding new and improved gut-wrenching emotions, that I hope will scare the reader and the audience.
PROLOGUE:
1. EXT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
Blood-dark, a WOMAN with a rope around her neck, wearing a bloody nightgown, hangs from a tree.
2. INT. MORTUARY – TESS’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Engulfed in a night terror, a young woman, TESS wakes up screaming, a GUNSHOT rings out.
3. EXT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
Tess rushes outside and wraps her arms around the Woman in a bloody nightgown, trying to save her. Max (mortuary attendant) holds a smoking gun, and gestures to coyote footprints and a bloody trail leading into the darkness. Tess’s FATHER (hypnotic eyes) comforts Tess, Tess screams, “What have you done to her, that’s not my mother.” Unnatural, “feral” sounds come from the darkness. Tess makes eye contact with a “Creepy Girl lurking nearby, holding a funeral urn.
>Horror Situation: Tess sees her mother hanging off a tree, but the woman doesn’t look like her mother.
>Apprehension: Tess is startled awake from a nightmare; was it a dream or something more real?
>Anxiety: A gunshot jolts Tess awake and she runs outside to investigate
>Surprise: A woman is hanging from a tree—
>Shock. –OMG-It’s Tess’s mother.
>Surprise: There’s no blood around Mother’s neck, only on her nightgown. Why?
>Release: Father comforts Tess
>Monster Reveal: Unnatural feral sound from the darkness where the monster lurks.
>Apprehension: What does the Creepy Girl holding an urn have to do with Tess’s mom
MM 1 / Status quo/ funeral in a small town
4. EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
Sean, a skater punk wearing headphones, and Tess’s friend, sees a woman, an older version of Tess, wandering in the cemetery. He comes to after getting plunked on the head and discovers a partially eaten body.
5. INT. TESS’S BEDROOM – DAY
Tess peers out a window at the tree where her mother killed herself and sees the Creepy Girl. An eyeball roams through a slit in the wall, watching Tess from an adjacent room. Gigi (Tess’s bestie), and Sean plan to visit the cemetery to look for Tess’s mom. The Sherriff and the New Deputy grill Sean about the body in the cemetery.
6. INT. Cemetery – Night
Tess, Gigi, and Sean discover a casket that contained Tess’s mom, unearthed and the body is gone. Tess is convinced her mother was buried prematurely. The Creepy Girl appears and charges Tess, carrying a funeral urn. Unworldly moans/ cries come out of the darkness.
>Horror Situation: The casket of the Mother has been unearthed and the body is missing.
>Anxiety: Tess sees the Creepy Girl, again; but is unaware she’s being spied on.
Surprise/shock: Why has a casket been unearthed from a freshly dug grave?
Suspense: And where’s the body of Tess’s mother?
Fear: Tess’s mom was buried prematurely.
Panic: Tess’s Mom could be alive
Suspense: Why did the Creepy Girl carry a funeral urn?
MM 2 – Tess denies that her mother is dead
8. MOTHER’S BEDROOM – DAY
Tess discovers a ‘cry for help’ note left by her mother and sees her Mother’s apparition, eating flesh.
9. EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
Ely (deputy) can’t find any unearthed caskets in the cemetery, but does find, “Zombie drool.”
10. INT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
Tess, Gigi, and Sean consult a Ouija board, which spells out, “Pray.” <s></s>
10. INT. MORTUARY – DAY
Father pays his mistress to spy on Tess.
11. INT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
Tess, Gigi, and Sean sneak into the embalming room, searching for clues to the whereabouts of Tess’s mom, they discover Creepy Girl prowling around, holding the funeral urn, she appears from the shadows and disappears out a side door.
>Horror Situation: Tess believes the mother is alive, she and her friends search the mortuary for clues to Mom’s whereabouts, Tess sees her mother’s apparition, with blood dripping out of her mother, the Creepy Girl prowls the embalming room with funeral urn.
>Suspense: Why the Ouija tell them to Pray?
>Shock: The Deputy discovers zombie drool.
>Suspense: Who reburied the unearthed casket?
>Panic: Has Tess’s mom become a Zombie?
>Anxiety: Does the Creepy Girl have a clue about Tess’s mom?
End MM 2/Act one
MM 3 -The Monster’s secret is revealed/ Tess’s plan: end her depression – but it’s a bad choice
12. INT. MORTUARY – DAY
Tess uncovers scars on her legs, where she “Cuts,” and suffers debilitating Panic Attacks, refuses to leave the Mortuary, (Agoraphobia).
13. EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
The body of a half-devoured man was discovered. The Sheriff blames coyotes, the deputy says Zombies.
14. INT. TESS’S BEDROOM – DAY
Gigi introduces Tess to a Therapist, Tess lashes out in… release scene…
15. INT. LAB/MORTUARY – NIGHT
Sean spies on Father, who reanimates the Man found in the cemetery.
16. INT. TESS’S BEDROOM
Tess, depressed, confesses to the Therapist she wants to be with her mother… on the other side.
17. INT. LAB/ MORTUARY – NIGHT
Father proves to the Sheriff he can bring back the dead (reanimation)-The Sheriff watches as Tess’s Mom comes to life-when the Sheriff panics and pulls a gun, Max (father’s #1) threatens to kill the Sheriff – unless he allows Father to continue his Zombie experiments.
18. INT. TESS’S ROOM – NIGHT
Sean shows Tess photos he shots of Father reanimating Tess’s Mom, as a Zombie crawls in the window, Sean fights him, but succumbs, Tess bashes the shit out of the zombie and turns her attention to Sean, who sinks his teeth into Tess-backs off and bashes Sean, who falls out a window.
19. CONTINUOUS – LATER
Tess looks at the bite on her arm from Sean, convinced she’s a zombie, ties a bed sheet in knots and heads for the front door, and says, “I’m coming mother.”
20. INT. MORTUARY – NIGHT
Tess stands on the threshold, a sheet around her neck, as her Mother’s apparition beckons from the woods, Tess freezes unable to go outside, and engulfed in a panic attack.
End MM4
>Horror Situation: Tess suffers from agoraphobia / Father proves he can reanimate a corpse / Tess, in pain, wants to join her mother in death
Fear: Zombies will take over the town because of a compromised Sheriff.
Shock: Father can reanimate the dead.
Monster reveal: Father controls the dead/zombies (through electrical stimulation).
Suspense: What are Father’s plans for the reanimated?
Release: The Therapist tries to heal Tess.
Dread: Tess, so depressed, and convinced she’s a Zombie tries to kill herself, to be with her mother.
MM 5: Tess’s Awakening and the Monster (Tess’s father) is much scarier than we imagined
21. INT. MORTUARY – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Tess collapses, overwhelmed by the panic attack, Ely carries Tess to her bedroom.
22. INT. LAB – NIGHT
Father slaps the mistress around, she dressed up as Tess’s mom to drive Tess insane/ Father nods to Max, who kills the mistress, and bites her… Father uses a controller to stop Max, as the Mistress rises from the dead.
23. INT. TESS’S ROOM – DAY
Ely consults with the Therapist while Tess sleeps, the Sheriff, a zombie crashes through the window and bites Tess, Ely bashes the Sheriff.
24. INT. FATHER’S LAB – NIGHT
Father displays Zombie traits, struggles to inject himself with a serum, and returns to human form—Gigi crawls out of the shadows and sees Sean, dead, and now an experiment by Father. Max straps Gigi to an exam table.
25. INT. TESS’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
The therapist attends to Tess, who shoves her aside.
26. EXT. FIELD – NIGHT
Ely burns the Sheriff’s body, as the Therapist approaches, “I can’t find Tess.”
27. INT. MORTUARY / KITCHEN – NIGHT
Tess opens the fridge and grabs the first thing she sees, liver, as Gigi and Ely enter, Tess Snarls at them.
28. –CONTINUOUS—
Ely subdues Tess and draws a vile of Tess’s blood to test her for Zombism, as the Creepy Girl beckons Tess.
End of MM 5
>Horror Situation: Tess’s rescued from an attempted suicide; Mistress becomes a Zombie, Sheriff, a zombie, bites Tess, Ely burns the Sheriff; Father chemically subdues his Zombie symptoms, Ely test Tess for Zombism.
Monster Reveal: Father is a Zombie.
Panic: The Mistress will wreak havoc on the town as a Zombie/The Sheriff is a Zombie
Sean is dead
Fear: That Tess will become a Zombie
Suspense: Will Tess kill herself?
What will the father do with Gigi?
Is Sean a Zombie?
Dread: Will Tess test positive for Zombism?
>MM 6 -Tess’s bigger bolder plan.
29. INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Ely and the Therapist wait for Tess’s test results, as Tess slips out of the room, following the Creepy Girl.
30. CORRIDOR – NIGHT
Tess follows Creepy Girl toward the Lab/embalming room.
31. INT. KITCHEN –
Test results are Negative, Tess is human, but Therapist and Ely fear that Tess has been captured by Father.
32. INT. MORTUARY THRESHOLD – NIGHT
Creepy girl heads outside– Tess freezes—then—determined–follows Creepy Girl
>Sidebar: Tess makes an emotional change (to live and plans to kill her father, her bigger bolder plan.
33. INT. MORTUARY / CORRIDOR – NIGHT
Ely and the Therapist search for Tess. (Release Scene)
34. INT. LABE/EMBALMING ROOM – NIGHT
Max makes a meal of the Mistress–Father straps Gigi to an exam table.
35. –CONTINUOUS—
Creepy Girl and Tess watch from the shadows– Father artificially inseminates Gigi w/ Zombie semen/evil seed.
>Max discovers Tess and grabs her as Creepy Girl flees.
>Father reveals that Tess is his stepdaughter as–
>Gigi dies—and Father plans to do the same experiment on Tess.
End of MM 6/end of Act 2
Horror Situation: Tess, fully human and determined to confront/kill Father, as he implants Zombie seed in Gigi—Tess is too late to stop the procedure–Gigi dies–Tess is captured–Father, is revealed as Tess’s stepfather, and he plans another experiment – to mate Tess with Zombie seed, to create a human/zombie=HUMANZ.
>(Note to self for rewrite: Reveal Father’s plan earlier/ artificially inseminate Gigi in MM 5, not 6)<
Apprehension / Anxiety: As they wait for the Tess, test results.
Surprise: Tess disappeared, or has she been captured in her own home (mortuary)?
Shock: Now that Tess follows Creepy Girl, will she be led to a Zombie feeding frenzy
Fear Tess will be killed by the Creepy Girl
Suspense: Will Ely and Therapist find Tess before it’s too late?
Dread: That Father is performing “god-knows-what experiments” on a comatose Gigi.
Anguish: Gigi, impregnated with evil seed, then dies.
Panic: Tess is helpless to stop Father, having been subdued by Zombie-Max.
Terror: Father will do to Tess what he did to Gigi.
Hysteria: Father gives Tess something “to make her sleep,” as he approaches w/Zombie seed.
>MM 7-Tess sees an open as she battles Father to the death.
36. INT. LAB/EMBALMING ROOM – NIGHT – CONTINUOUS
Tess comes to, screaming, Father stands over her, with an intractable look on his face—as Ely crashes the party and battles Max—Tess fights her way out of the straps—Father reaches for the gun–Ely kills Max–as Therapist enters—Tess grabs Father’s gun and tosses it to Therapist (“Take care of him.”)
>Creepy Girl fills an urn with ashes, looks at Tess, and says, “Sister,” as Tess and Ely flee—Max Rises and lunges for the Therapist, she fills him full of holes, he falls, she turns to shoot Father… dude is long gone.
37. INT. MOTEL – NIGHT
Tess peers out the window, Ely approaches from behind, and they embrace… kiss…
End of 7
Horror Situation: Father stands over Tess as she comes to—Ely barges in and he and Tess escape—Max appears to be dead, and Father is missing.
Suspense: Did Father inseminate Tess?
Fear: Tess could be impregnated with a zombie seed.
Panic: Tess has no escape.
Monster Reveal: Is there no end to his horridness?
Anguish: Tess is going to die soon, like Gigi.
Hysteria: Tess wakes up screaming, she’s doomed.
>MM 8 – A new Normal, Tess has escaped her insane stepfather, but he has one more trick up his sleeve.
INSERT CHRYON—NINE MONTHS LATER
38. EXT. CABIN IN THE WOODS – DAY
Off the Grid.
39. INT. CABIN – DAY
Ely helps Tess through labor, and says, “It’s our baby, Tess, you can do it,”—
–She pushes until she gives birth to a–
–Hybrid–a “HumanZ”—
–Ely backs away horrified, “That’s not mine.”
–Tess cradles the baby in her arms, it looks human, And Zombie… a hybrid.
–Ely reaches for the baby with the intent to strangle it–
–Tess pulls a knife– “Touch my baby and I’ll gut you.”
End MM 8 / End Act 3
Horror Situation: Tess gives birth to a human/zombie “Humanz,” – Tess’s father Did inseminate her w/Zombie Seed.
Suspense: What happened during the last nine months?
Suspense: Ely and Tess fell in love and now she’s pregnant.
Panic: This cabin in the woods doesn’t like a sterile environment.
Fear: Will the baby live; will Tess survive childbirth?
Hysteria: Tess gives birth to a zombie/human.
Suspense: What will happen to these three, two humans and a hybrid, now?
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Brian King.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by
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Sunil Pappu’s Horror Outline Version 1
“What I learned doing this assignment is…to use the scary-as-hell model to create horror emotions for each horror situation in my story and outline the horror scenes in detail.”
OUTLINE VERSION 1
“TITLE: SIGNALS”
ACT 1 – SET UP FOR HORROR
INT. ABANDONED SHOPPING MALL – DAY
Shops inside the mega mall are destroyed and lie derelict and desolate. Teenage twin boys play blindfolded with their younger sister, DAISY DONNER in a dilapidated play area. JASON DONNER the athletic twin thinks it’s a stupid game to play and swings his baseball bat around. Daisy stumbles into a… TV showroom
HORROR SITUATION: Trapped inside a shopping mall
APPREHENSION: Teen boys and a young girl are playing blindfolded in an abandoned shopping mall. The walking stick sensor beeps…
RELEASE: It’s just a rock…
SURPRISE: Why are they playing inside such a derelict place with their eyes closed? A sudden chill descends. A faint metallic rapid clicking sound… they stop to hear.
SHOCK: Daisy stumbles on a dead corpse with gouged-out eyes! Something did this!
INT. TV SHOWROOM – DAY
The showroom floor is messy with broken electronics strewn around but some TVs are still intact. One of the TVs comes on in the back and something scratches and destroys it leaving huge slits in the glass.
An enormous eye of the DETECTOR glides past them undetected.
MIKE DONNER, the blind twin, senses the detector and drags his younger sister out to safety. The other twin, Jason, lingers at the smartphone counter and accidentally turns on the power to the whole store lighting up the screens. They use the stanchion or retractable queue tape to get out of the store… along a path…
A violent storm and a chill descend inside the showroom and all the blue lights pop like firecrackers to the sounds of incessant clicking.
HORROR SITUATION: Lost – Young girl playing a game with her older brothers gets lost and accidentally stumbles into something…
APPREHENSION: young girl playing blindfolded on a messy floor of an abandoned electronics store
SURPRISE: One of the TVs comes on in the back
SHOCK: a clicking and sound of metal blades slicing glass
MONSTER REVEAL: the detectors make clicking sounds with their blade-like claws
FEAR: TV bursts and we see scratches and a huge slit in the glass
RELEASE: Mike drags his sister outside the store.
MONSTER REVEAL: The detector has one enormous eye and can glide past undetected.
SUSPENSE: Mike calls out to his brother, but Jason lingers on in the smartphone section
RELEASE: Mike uses the stanchion or retractable queue tape to get out of the store… along a path…
DREAD: Jason accidentally turns on the power that lights up the devices in the store. Mike stops and turns…
ANGUISH: A violent storm and a chill descends in the showroom
MONSTER REVEAL: the detectors reduce the temperature in the room to below freezing
PANIC: All the blue lights pop like firecrackers to the sounds of incessant clicking.
TERROR: Daisy sees through her blindfold and screams
MONSTER REVEAL: the detectors are attracted to the blue light from mobile devices
MONSTER REVEAL: They are otherwise blind to other light – Are they Blind?
EXT/INT. TV SHOWROOM – DAY
The father, PHIL DONNER drops a car battery he’s carrying, grabs onto the rope, and traces his steps. All the smartphones and TVs are smashed with huge slits in them like someone ran an enormous blade through all of them. Jason with his baseball bat moves closer trying to see through his blindfold when his father, Phil, pulls him back dropping his son’s blindfold in the tussle.
An enormous eye swivel around but Phil quickly picks up the blindfold and forces his son Jason to shut his eyes and covers them up. The enormous eye lingers and swivels back to the blue screen glow as if sucking out its light.
Phil drags Jason away to safety and scolds him for breaking the family rules. Mike waiting for them, quickly grabs the rope to retrace their way and leads everyone back
HORROR SITUATION: Monster approaching – The Detector finds Jason
APPREHENSION: Phil hears the screams and drops the car battery he’s carrying and grabs the rope to retrace his steps up
SURPRISE: All the smartphones and TVs are smashed with huge slits in them like someone ran an enormous blade through all of them.
SHOCK: Jason with his baseball bat moves closer trying to see through his blindfold when someone pulls him back dropping his blindfold in the tussle – it’s his father Phil.
FEAR: An enormous eye swivel around but Phil quickly picks up the blindfold and forces his son Jason to shut his eyes and covers them up.
SUSPENSE: The enormous eye lingers and swivels back to the blue screen glow as if sucking out its light.
MONSTER REVEAL: The Detector is attracted to the human eye and the blue glow of LED screens. You cannot be detected if you cover your eyes.
RELEASE: Phil drags Jason away to safety and scolds him for breaking the family rules. Mike waiting for them, quickly grabs the rope to retrace their way and leads everyone back.
INT. DINING/HOME DECOR – EVENING
SARAH DONNER, the mother, rings a cycle bell to summon the family to dinner in the home furnishing store that is now neatly decorated like their home. Everyone in their blindfolds, uses the pathways to get to the table and take their places with practiced ease.
Jason disagrees with his father about the rules – of no moving without blindfolds and no cell phone and argues that his girlfriend could be dead but wants to call her in case she made it. Mike thinks he’s selfish. Daisy cries and Sarah consoles her and breaks up the fight. They eat in silence for the rest of dinner.
INT. WORKSTATION – EVENING
Phil is inside a tiny tarped-up tent tinkering with his car battery DC generator.
INT. HOME DÉCOR – EVENING
Sarah feeds Daisy narrating her favorite zombie story. Jason hides a smartphone he snatched inside a soap box.
EXT. BATHROOM – EVENING
Mike approaches Jason with his walker on his way to the showers. Jason tags along and tells him he could have done the same thing in his place. Jason asks him to keep the soap box hidden in the cubicle and he takes it from him.
INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT
Sarah wears eyeshades to take her bath in the tub and drapes the tub with a black tarpaulin sheet to go underwater to open her eyes and clean them.
INT. RESTROOM CUBICLE – NIGHT
Jason finds the smartphone hidden in the soap box in the restroom cubicle and turns it on and the blue LED light comes on. He removes his blindfold to make a phone call to check on his girlfriend and feels a cold chill.
An enormous eye pops out inside the cubicle and scans his eyes… Jason’s body drops dead on the floor with eyes gouged out and blood oozing out of them. It seeps into the next cubicle the wetness touching the feet of his blind twin, Mike, making him jump up and onto the commode.
In the next cubicle, he feels his way around but there is no Jason, only blood-soaked clothes cut up by the sharp blade-like claws lying on the floor. Mike sounds the family alarm.
HORROR SITUATION: Doing something forbidden / Face to Face with Monster – Jason makes a phone call to check on his girlfriend and comes face to face with the Detector.
APPREHENSION: Jason finds the smartphone hidden inside the soap box, turns it on and removes his blindfold to make a call
FEAR: A cold chill descends inside the cubicle and the tap freezes over
MONSTER REVEAL: The Detector can pop up wherever and scans the human eye
HORROR: Jason’s body drops on the floor with eyes gouged out and blood oozing from the empty sockets.
HYSTERIA: The blood seeps into the next cubicle and touches the feet of the blind twin Mike. He touches the wetness, smells and brings it to his mouth to taste but revolts at the recognition of blood and vomits into the commode. He finds the blood-soaked clothes on the floor cut up by sharp blades and sounds the family alarm.
MONSTER REVEAL: The Detector gouges out the eyes and absorbs the bodies leaving only the cut-up clothes.
LATER
Phil goes into shock at losing his favourite twin son. Sarah hugs her remaining kids and cries. Daisy numbs out and clings to blind brother Mike.
INT. WORKSTATION/BASEMENT PARKING – DAY
Phil confines himself to the parking lot tinkering with car batteries under a black tarp-covered makeshift workstation fixing the generators. He drives Mike away to look out for his sister, making him feel guilty for the loss of his twin brother.
INT. HOME – DAY
Sarah remains strong for her kids. She plays with Daisy in her play tent covered in a black tarp.
ACT 2 — THE POINT OF NO RETURN
EXT. ABANDONED SHOPPING MALL – DAY
Cars with rotting corpses pile up outside the mall on the streets. Phil in blindfolds carefully feels his way to unplug a car battery. Mike, hands him the wrench but Phil snaps at him for a plier. They have a strained relationship and Mike feels guilty as the twin who survived.
INT. GENERATOR ROOM – DAY
They drag the car batteries to the generator room to power up the heaters.
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Sarah in the bathtub opens her eyes to see inside the water. A detector enters and lurks around, and Sarah can feel its coldness as the room freezes a little whenever they are around. She pulls the black tarp over her and waits…
She can feel the detector’s ragged breath. Detector’s enormous eyes see into the bottom of the tub as the tarp slips away. Sarah holds her breath underwater… The detector gets confused and leaves… Sarah grabs her blindfold and comes out of the water to breathe…
HORROR SITUATION: Monster trying to get to you – Sarah is trapped inside the bathtub as a Detector looks for her eyes underwater…
FEAR: Sarah is in the bathtub, suddenly the water goes cold and she knows that a detector is close by
SUSPENSE: Sarah waits holding her breath to remain underwater…
DREAD: she can hear the ragged breath… she fights to remain underwater when an enormous eye swivels around confused… then drifts away…
MONSTER REVEAL: The Detector breathes in a ragged breath and can’t scan the eye underwater due to refraction
INT. WORKSTATION – DAY
Phil sits in the tiny, darkened room with a headlamp to find things in the dark. His wall is scribbled with clues about what the detectors are capable of and what their traits are like “Enormous eye” “attracted to LED light” “Smartphones” “Cold chill – Why?” “sword-like claws” “Known Surviors 4. any others???” It’s blank on the weaknesses. But is quite clear, he wants revenge for his son… “REVENGE” is written in bold in the middle.
There is a radio that he checks every 15 minutes to see if there is someone else out there. He suddenly hears a thunder… He grabs his car keys, puts on the blindfold and rings a family alarm system… rushes out into the basement parking. He fumbles with a garage door and opens it to reveal a brand-new truck loaded with arms and car batteries in the trunk. He feels his way to the driver’s side door and gets in…
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
Sarah jumps out of her tub and slips back into her clothes. She finds her way to the playpen and grabs Daisy and their bags… drops a few essentials. She calls out to her son Mike.
Mike is ready with his walker and rucksack with heavy books. She leaves them behind but then turns to pick one up. They hurry down to the basement using the pathway of ropes.
INT. TRUCK – DAY
They are packed into the truck. Phil takes a deep breath and turns on the ignition. He still has his blindfold on. The camera is blacked out and the display is covered with black tape too. Mike has the timer to measure their speed and shouts out his estimates.
They turn on their headlamps when they get out of the parking lot just missing the edge of the curved ramp. Sarah and Daisy hold each other tight in the back silently.
Thunder and lightning crackle down on them… a huge bright lighting bolt drops nearby illuminating the skies… clicking of the detector’s claws can be heard in the distance.
Lighting storm intensifies… Mike shouts: Now! Phil pulls off his blindfold and floors it through the storm. He reaches the mobile tower and tries to power it up using the car batteries loaded in the back of his truck. Mike detects a broken cable and runs up to his dad to get his attention, but Phil doesn’t hear him through the hard-hitting rain, still trying to turn the power on.
Sarah turns on the mobile device and waits for the signal… Daisy clings to her mommy shivering in the rain. The storm starts to die down… Phil loads the batteries back into the truck.
Daisy goes missing… Phil goes to look for her. He finds her staring down at the broken cables holding Mike who seems to be crying in the rain…
Phil curses the broken cable tries to rejoin them and notices a broken part on the side ripped by a sharp claw like those of the detectors but doesn’t notice his son cry. He scolds Daisy for running off and summons Mike back inside.
They reload everything. Sarah still trying to get a signal lifts up the phone in the air. Phil sees her and jumps up to grab the phone and flings it far away into the dark forest.
They drive back quickly before the storm subsides. Everyone except Phil put on their blindfolds. Phil reminds Mike that he needs to put them on too but he refuses and looks away. Sarah consoles him and puts it on for him.
A lightning bolt illuminates for an instant a tall mobile tower where a swamp of detectors is charging themselves from the lightning bolt. Phil catches a glimpse…
They drive back just in time before the lighting stops. Phil is frustrated… he’s planned this for a long time. Everyone grabs what they brought… Phil asks Mike to take a battery back to the gen room with him…
HORROR SITUATION: Forces of Nature / Impending Doom – Phil packs everyone into the car to ride to the mobile tower during the lightning storm
FEAR: They pull off their blindfold and drive the car into the storm
SUSPENSE: They get to the mobile tower and discover a broken cable.
DREAD: Daisy goes missing
RELEASE: Phil finds her holding Mike who is crying in the rain
SURPRISE: A broken claw of the Detector lies with the broken cable
FEAR: the storm starts to abate and Phil throws the mobile from Sarah’s hands and they put on their blindfolds except Phil who has to drive.
SHOCK: A lightning bolt illuminates for an instant a tall mobile tower where a swamp of detectors is charging themselves from the lightning bolt.
INT. CORRIDOR – NIGHT
Mike drags the battery and carries the rucksack and walker in the other hand… he is trailing everyone and lost in his thoughts when his blindfold comes off and he doesn’t notice it… keeps walking.
Suddenly, he feels chilly and stops. drops the battery and rubs his hands.
He hears a clicking sound as a detector lurks about… then feels foul ragged breath on his back and turns slowly… points his walker and tightly presses the sensor while beeping signaling that there is an object he is about to hit… his watch gives an audio cue “WARNING: NEAR COLLISION”
Enormous eye of the detector scans his eyes… but the laser from the walker falls on the eye and irritates it and it backs off…
Mike keeps pressing his walker sensor and slowly… clicking sound receded… and the detector vanishes. Mike feels for his blindfold and tears out a bottom strip from his t-shirt to make a new one.
HORROR SITUATION: Face to Face with the monster – Mike falls behind the group and comes face to face with a Detector but escapes unharmed
FEAR: Mike’s blindfold comes off and continues to walk on
SUSPENSE: The chill stops him dead in the tracks. He hears the clicking and points his walker.
SURPRISE: it’s only a lamp flown off due to the storm into their path…
SHOCK: He turns to the front and it’s an enormous eye of the Detector! His watch speaker gives a loud warning.
MONSTER REVEAL: Laser light from the sensor harms the eye of the detector and causes it distress.
EXT. HOME DÉCOR – DAY
The storm has destroyed some of their paths knocking things onto the floor. Sarah is brooming with a blindfold while Mike uses his walker to detect objects in the way… it’s a slow painstaking process as they mark a fresh path… to create a safe corridor with ropes. Daisy picks useful items and plays with her finds…
INT. WORKSTATION – DAY
Phil is tinkering with new power cables…
EXT. PAINT SHOP – DAY
Daisy walks out with paint all over herself… crying. Mike feels and tastes it. He rushes her to the bathroom and washes her up. Sarah rings the bell for lunch and they go back to the dining room.
INT. DINING ROOM – DAY
Phil is lost in his own thoughts. Sarah tries to serve the food she cooked in a blacked-out kitchen with a tarp.
Daisy wants to see her food and Sarah decides to feed her in the kitchen leaving Mike alone with Phil. Daisy plays with her pet hamster in a blackened shoe box.
Mike tells Phil that he thinks maybe his walker scared away a detector. Phil nods but doesn’t engage. Mike leaves his food untouched and walks away… wandering outside.
INT. PAINT SHOP – DAY
Daisy under a black tarp checks the colours of the paint as Mike opens them. Mike and Daisy drag buckets of black paint and brushes with them.
EXT. DARK ROOM – DAY
Mike hands Daisy a brush and they start painting on the glass walls of the storefront with black industrial paint. They painstakingly cover every corner and check. Daisy goes under a tarp to check their progress.
Mike etches brail letters to identify the dark room. They are finally done. Now they need to test if this works.
INT. DARK ROOM – DAY
Daisy opens her black shoe box. Inside her pet hamster is blindfolded. Daisy cuddles her pet and reassures her that she is going to sacrifice her life for her family.
Daisy cries as Mike places the black shoe box in the middle of the darkroom and removes the lid. He hesitates to remove the blindfold on the hamster. Daisy tells him to do it. He yanks it!
They wait in silence. Daisy is ready to cover herself with a blanket expecting the room to get chilly. They don’t hear any clicking and there is no chill. Mike puts on his blind glasses to see… The hamster goes into a blind spot and comes out! It is alive and well.
It worked! Daisy hugs her brave hamster. Mike cuddles them both. They both remove their blindfolds and hug each other properly.
HORROR SITUATION: Doing something forbidden – Daisy and Mike test their darkroom with the pet hamster becoming the scapegoat.
APPREHENSION: The pet hamster tries to cuddle back into Daisy’s arms.
FEAR: Mike yanks the blindfold and Daisy pulls on her blanket
SURPRISE: The hamster goes inside a hole in the wall and comes out unscathed!
SHOCK: Daisy yanks her blindfold and hugs Mike and the hamster.
MONSTER REVEAL: Darkened room can keep the Detector away.
EXT/INT. DARKROOM – DAY
Daisy drags her father and Mike gets his mother. He confirms the etching outside the dark room. Tells them to get inside.
Daisy tells them it is alright. They walk in and close the darkroom doors. Mike cracks neon sticks that light up the darkroom. They open their blindfolds and see each other. Listen for the detectors but none arrive. They all hug each other seeing everyone properly for the first time without a tarp to hide under.
Mike drags Daisy and she boxes her pet up and they put on their blindfold and walk outside to give Sarah and Phil their privacy.
Sarah breaks down and grieves for her son after 100 days. Phil cries for his boy. Sarah gathers herself and tells Phil that he still has another boy and to make up with Mike who is also a tinkerer like him.
Daisy outside tells Mike that she knows he feels guilty for losing Jason but it’s not his fault and she thinks even daddy knows that but he’s just bitter that’s all. He still loves you. Mike is not sure his dad ever did.
Sarah and Phil build a small shrine for their boy Jason. Sarah preserves his baseball bat and balls next to his pinup photos and lights a candle.
INT. WORKSTATION – NIGHT
Phil is busy trying to solder the joints but with his blindfold, he repeatedly burns his fingers. But he needs the cables, so he decides to take off his blindfold to see the joint. He reaches for his dark glasses hoping they will suffice. He wears them and tries to solder…. The heating tip suddenly starts to cool down as a chill settles in. Phil closes his eyes and burns his hand on the hot iron. He hears the ragged breath of a detector, and an enormous eye scans his face from a reflection in the glass. He rings the emergency bell under his desk.
HORROR SITUATION: Face to Face with the Monster / Debilitated – Phil’s eyes get scanned by the Detector
APPREHENSION: Phil takes off his blindfold to see the joint for soldering and wears the dark glasses
FEAR: Phil closes his eyes and burns his hand with the soldering iron. The heating tip goes cold!
SUSPENSE: He hears the ragged breath of the Detector
DREAD: An enormous eye scans his face and reflection in the glasses.
INT. DARKROOM – NIGHT
Mike shuts the audiobook he is listening to and hears the bell again. He grabs his walker and rushes to his dad’s workstation.
EXT/INT. WORKSTATION – NIGHT
Mike can feel the detector’s chill inside. He calls out to his dad. Phil is trapped in a corner. He turns his face… blood streaming down his eyes… He can’t see he is blind. Son uses his walker infrared light to drive away the detector, but he needs to hit it in the eye and misses… The detector mimics the voice of Phil’s dead son which only he can hear… they are from his memories…
Dad thinks his son is alive… tries to respond and goes closer to the detector lured by the voice. Mike screams to his dad but his dad can’t hear him… only Jason’s voice…
Mike finally hits the detector in his enormous eyes, and it lashes out with its claws trying to swipe at him. Its eyes start to melt, and it glides away. The room is not cold anymore. Mike rushes to his dad as he collapses.
Phil tells him that he loves him, and it was not him he was upset about at all. They make it back.
HORROR SITUATION: Debilitated – Phil goes blind
SCARES: Mike enters the basement parking and feels the chill. Calls out to his dad but no response… dad with his face against the wall in a corner is talking to himself. He laughs… and turns his face… blood streaming down his eye sockets. The enormous eye of the Detector blinks and mimics Jason’s voice which only Phil can hear and responds to…
MONSTER REVEAL: The Detector can make you blind if it sees your eyes in a reflected glass.
MONSTER REVEAL: The detector is very intelligent. It can mimic voices of people taken from one’s memories to lure you. Nobody else can hear them except the person whose memories have been taken.
RELEASES: Mike points his walker, uses his infrared sensor to aim at the Detector, and breaks the spell… Phil collapses… Mike rushes to him and holds him. Phil calls out for his dead son… Mike tells him it’s him. Phil recognises Mike‘s voice and hugs him.
CREEPY MOMENTS: Mike turns to wipe his dad’s face and steps on something soft… a pulsing slimy eye! He feels Phil’s eyes – shocked to feel them missing! Phil says he’s blind now like him. Mike reassures him. He picks up the soft eyes and pops them into a plastic bag. Wraps a blindfold on Phil’s eyes and helps carry him home.
ACT 3 – ALL IS LOST
INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT
Sarah washes Phil’s eyes in the bathtub and realizes that he’s gone blind. The detectors took his memories, and they used them to lure him. She is glad to have him alive.
INT. HOME DÉCOR – DAY
Daisy sits in Phil’s lap and keeps dabbing his eyes flowing with tears.
INT. DARKROOM – DAY
Mike puts up a large murder board with everything he discovered and transfers his dad’s notice board entries onto it.
Adds new entry – mimicking the voices from one’s memories. Besides the board is the shrine to Jason.
INT. BASEMENT PARKING – DAY
Mike is learning to drive blindfolded with Phil. Daisy sits in the back feeling scared but insists on staying in the car with them.
Mike drives well and almost completes the course set by Phil until he forgets to park and leaves it in drive mode. They get down but the car starts to move, and Phil has to jump in to stop it. Phil pats Mike and Daisy mocks him for leaving it in Drive but she’s impressed with his driving.
INT/EXT. DARKROOM – DAY
Daisy plays hide and seek with Mike.
Sarah is cooking in her new kitchen, and she is relaxed. She is glad Phil is back to tinkering in the basement.
She asks Mike to go check on his dad. Daisy insists on five more minutes of play and Sarah relents.
Daisy in her blindfold searches for Mike. She peeks out of her blindfold and realizes she is not in the darkroom anymore… A cold chill runs through her body. She hears the clicking sounds of the detectors and screams…
Mike runs out with his walking stick and starts to point the infrared sensor at the detector to drive it away… but there is more than one of them.
He stumbles towards Daisy and drops his walker. He frantically looks for it and accidentally kicks it off the ledge trying to retrieve it. He bumps into a fallen chandelier and hides behind it. Daisy is terrified and alone and hearing Mike’s voice jumps towards him and gets to safety. The reflected light from the chandelier confuses one of the detectors.
The other detector finds Daisy and is about to scan her eyes.
Sarah charges towards the detector and shines an LED torch and swings Jason’s baseball bat to attract the detector toward her. She karate chops one detector and lands a kick into her eye.
Sarah hears Daisy scream and removes her blindfold telling her daughter to keep her eyes shut. She throws her blindfold towards her.
The other detector tries to claw Sarah and cuts her hand. She swings the baseball bat with her injured hand. Mike finds a ball near his feet and throws it to her to hit. The detector slices off Sarah’s hand. Her hand holding the baseball drops onto the floor but the ball flies and hit the enormous eye.
The detector is disoriented and shut off her inner transparent eyelid.
Sarah uses her other hand to unsling her shotgun and with one hand press the trigger to aim at the eye, but the eyelid is bulletproof.
Sarah grabs a steel rod and jams it into the protruding belly after Mike’s sensor weakens it.
Fiberoptic-like cables burst forth from the protruding belly and grab Sarah. The enormous eye scans her eyes and absorbs Sarah into her belly and closes up.
HORROR SITUATION: Face to Face with the monster/ No Escape / Dilemma / See another killed – Sarah sacrifices herself to save her daughter Daisy.
HORROR EMOTIONS (scene arc): From Anxiety to Hysteria
RELEASE: Daisy plays hide and seek with Mike: Sarah hears their laughter as she cooks in her new kitchen inside the Darkroom. She is relaxed and humming. She shouts to Mike to check on his dad in the basement. Daisy says five more minutes of play.
APPREHENSION: Daisy in her blindfold searches for Mike. She peeks out of her blindfold and realizes she is not in the darkroom anymore… A cold chill runs through her body. She hears the clicking sounds of the detectors and screams… Sarah feels the kitchen go cold and the stove light goes dim.
SURPRISE: Mike runs out with his walking stick and starts to point the infrared sensor at the detector to drive it away… but there is more than one of them.
SHOCK: He stumbles towards Daisy and drops his walker. He frantically looks for it and accidentally kicks it off the ledge trying to retrieve it. He bumps into a fallen chandelier and hides behind it.
FEAR: Daisy is terrified and alone and hearing Mike’s voice jumps towards him and gets to safety. The reflected light from the chandelier confuses one of the detectors and it swipes its claws to destroy it getting closer to them.
SUSPENSE: The other detector comes around from behind and finds Daisy and is about to scan her eyes.
DREAD: Sarah charges towards the detector and shines an LED torch and swings Jason’s baseball bat to attract the detector toward her. She karate chops one detector and lands a kick into her eye.
ANGUISH: Sarah hears Daisy scream and removes her blindfold telling her daughter to keep her eyes shut. She throws her blindfold towards her.
PANIC: The other detector tries to claw Sarah and cuts her hand. She swings the baseball bat with her injured hand. Mike finds a ball near his feet and throws it to her to hit. The detector slices off Sarah’s hand. Her hand holding the baseball drops onto the floor but the ball flies and hit the enormous eye.
RELEASE: The detector is disoriented and shut off her inner transparent eyelid.
SURPRISE: Sarah uses her other hand to unsling her shotgun and presses the trigger to aim at the eye with one hand, but the eyelid is bulletproof.
RELEASE: Sarah grabs a steel rod and jams it into the protruding belly after Mike’s sensor weakens it.
TERROR: Fiberoptic-like cables burst forth from the protruding belly and grab Sarah. The enormous eye scans her eyes and pulls Sarah into her belly.
HYSTERIA: Sarah hears her son’s voice mimicked by the Detector and speaks to her imaginary son and gets sucked in. Daisy watches in shock and screams. Mike quietens her.
ACT 4 – FULL OUT HORROR
EXT. CORRIDOR – DAY
Daisy through her blindfold sees the slashed clothes of her mother and goes into shock. Mike grabs her and as his watch detects his walker and beeps incessantly, he jumps and lands on a showroom car on the display floor below and rolls to break his fall and protect Daisy in his arms. Mike picks up his stick and realizes he’s next to the car. He throws Daisy into the car and slides in. He looks for the keys already in the ignition and races down the ramp to his dad in the basement parking while Daisy uses his walking stick to detect any objects in the way. Mike crashes through without stopping, bangs into a pillar in the basement, and comes to a halt.
EXT. WORKSTATION – DAY
Phil rushes out with two shotguns and is still getting used to being completely blind and walks too fast and trips into things…
Mike catches his dad from getting hurt. Phil hands over one of the shotguns. Daisy grabs onto Dad and tells him Mom is dead. Phil lets out a wail and fires off a few rounds… Mike takes his shotgun and opens the garage door to his dad’s truck.
INT. TRUCK – DAY
Mike gets into his driver’s seat. Phil and Daisy take the back seat. Mike drives out of the garage and goes up the ramp again to get to the darkroom. He almost crashes into it.
INT. DARKROOM – DAY
They rush inside the dark room and take off their blindfolds. Daisy gets to see her blind dad and brother and hugs them. She checks her black shoe box for her pet hamster.
There is a small crack in the glass and light comes through. The hamster runs from Daisy’s hands towards the light. A detector zaps it!
Daisy feels the chill and they are all terrified. She quickly puts on her blindfold.
Dad turns to fire but is about to blow out the lens store behind but Mike corrects him and reorients him to aim at the detector. He runs up to the giant magnifying glass he has set up in the lens store. Points the infrared laser pointer at it. Daisy corrects his aim and he’s focused on the detector who advances towards Phil. He fires the laser light and hits the bullseye with lightning speed and shatters the inner eyelid which is slow to react and closes only partially. Mike’s infrared beam is amplified by the magnifying glass, and it electrocutes the detector.
The detector shoots out tentacles but the light strains its enormous eyes and they burst. Tentacles collapse! They survive for now and Phil stands in front of Mike and Daisy to protect them and reloads his shotgun.
Mike swings the huge magnifying glass towards the detector. Daisy picks up the walker and points its laser sensor through it. All three of them are ready to blow it up to bits!
More detectors arrive with their tentacles visible through the shattered glass front. They are now fully exposed to light. But unafraid… Thunder sounds!
HORROR SITUATION: Trapped/ Impending doom / Mental and physical torture – The Detector traps them inside the Darkroom and unleashes its full horror
ANGUISH: Daisy still in shock from seeing her mother die is relieved that her pet hamster is alive only to realize in horror that the darkroom has a crack and sees her pet hamster scramble towards the light beam and gets zapped by a blade splattering blood all over the floor.
PANIC: Daisy screams in panic as she is the only one who can see and quickly tries to shut her eyes. Her blind father and brother guard her and the enormous eye is inside the darkroom.
HORROR: Phil loads his shotgun and empties it out on the Detector, but his bullets don’t hit the target and its claws cut him up with their sharp blades. Meanwhile, it’s enough to distract the Detector until Mike can get to his enormous magnifying glass to focus his laser beam. He hits the inner eyelid before it closes and shatters it. The detector shoots out tentacles and grabs Daisy. Phil empties his gun but the tentacles grab him too.
HYSTERIA: Phil screams into it and jabs his bayonet into the enormous eye repeatedly until the eye bursts and the laser beam amputates the Detector’s tentacles and it releases Daisy. Daisy runs to help Mike and this time when it returns to life once more and while the laser beam hits Bullseye and electrocutes the Detector, Phil blows it to bits with a grenade.
INT. TRUCK – DAY
Lighting strikes and Mike drives through it on the highway. Daisy sees a glow of light in the middle of the fields up ahead.
Detectors spawn at the server farm on the outskirts of town feeding on enormous data!
HORROR SITUATION: Transformed into something else (possessed) – Detectors spawn at the server farms.
SHOCK: There are many more that need to be fought and killed!
RELEASE: But for now, the lightning helps the survivors get help and regroup!
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Frances Williams Horror Outline Version 1
What I Learned doing this Assignment is how to elevate my writing by adding different horror emotions.
Ext-Jungle -Antiqua-Day
Enroute back to the camp Billy is being stalked by the Monster, he runs to the abandoned mine and tries to hide
He screams and struggles to break free if the Monsters Claw, he pulls out a gun and shoots at the Monster before becoming dessert.
2. Ext-Base Camp-Day
2. John is sitting at the site in front of a fire, when he keeps hearing screams coming from the woods near the camp, he goes to investigate and sees Billy struggling with the Monster, he rushes to his aid but before he reaches him a large hairy Claw bursts through a hole in the ground and pulls him beneath the surface.
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Tony J. Scott
HORROR OUTLINE VERSION 1
I learned how to take each scene and add what is needed and how to organize everything before I write the script.
BLOODSTREAM – HORROR SITUATION TRACK
1. INT. BASEMENT OF MONSTERS HOUSE – NIGHT
ATMOSPHERE OF EVIL ESTABLISHED:
Cut to a dead body, drained of blood and prune like in appearance, being dragged away by its leg from a group of 6-8 now empty surgical type bondage chairs.
2. INT. CANCER AFTERCARE TREATMENT LOBBY – NIGHT
It’s 3 years later. Chessley waits for the elevator.
3. INT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR – NIGHT
Something goes wrong with the elevator, it stops on floor six, he’s confused. He’s forced to take a detour to floor ten.
4. EXT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR -NIGHT
Horror situation: The bridge to the detour is dark and scary looking. Chessley doesn’t want to take the detour.
· ANXIETY: He has to take the bridge but feels like something is shady. He keeps looking across the bridge for someone to prove it’s safe to cross.
· FEAR: As he crosses the bridge he doesn’t know if he should look forward or behind so he does both nervously.
· SUSPENSE: The lights on the bridge begin to flicker
5. INT. DETOUR ELEVATOR – NIGHT
Chessley is riding the elevator to floor ten but it stops on eight, begins to swing upward and then descends straight to the garage level.
Horror Situation: The detour elevator lands on the garage floor. Chessley is apprehensive about getting off.
· APPREHESION: Chessley begins pressing all the buttons on the panels. He presses the emergency button. He presses the door-open button. He hangs out of the door leaving one foot in.
· FEAR: He jumps back in just as the elevator slams shut but then the doors open again. The doors begin to shut, and then begin to open, and then repeats and repeats.
· ANGUISH: Chessley doesn’t want to but he tries to run for the light at the end of the garage.
· MONSTER REVEAL: Without even clearly getting off the elevator, Out of nowhere Chessley is swooped up by an unseen entity.
NOTE: This chain of events happens six times. I’m only listing three of them.
6. EXT. PEACHTREE STREET BUS STOP – NIGHT
Derrick just got off the Marta bus and is walking to the Cancer Aftercare Treatment Center. From outside the door he notices a woman carrying a guitar case standing at the Express Elevator.
7. EXT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR – NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: Derrick is forced off the express elevator. He doesn’t want to take the detour across the bridge. He frantically presses the up arrow on the elevator.
· APPREHENSION/ANXIETY: Derrick doesn’t want to take the bridge.
· SURPRISE: The detour elevator doors open.
· FEAR: Derrick is afraid because his only choice is to take the elevator.
· ANGUISH: Derrick takes the detour elevator
8. INT. MONSTER ELEVATOR – NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: The Monster Elevator stops working.
· SUSPENSE: The elevator stops on floor eight. Derrick thinks someone is going to get on. The elevator doors never open but the car swings up and then straight down to the garage level.
· APPREHENSION: Derrick suspects the elevator is malfunctioning.
· FEAR: He thinks he might die on impact.
· FEAR: Derrick begins pressing all the buttons on the panels. He presses the emergency button. He presses the door-open button.
· ANGUISH: He exits the elevator after noticing the light at the end of the garage
9. INT. PARING GARAGE– NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: Derrick leaves the Monster elevator
· APPRENESION: Derrick takes out his cell phone to shine a light.
· SURPRISE: He looks around. He steps to his right but trips over something. It’s a guitar case.
· APPRENSION: He sees someone pass under the exit light and calls out.
10. INT. PARKING GARAGE-NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: Derrick hears moaning and heavy breathing and what also sounds like snarling.
· APPREHENSION: Afraid for his life now, he heads toward the lit exit sign.
· FEAR: He looks behind him and sees a shadowing image quickly pass under the light in front of the elevator doors.
· REACTION: Derrick freezes in place. Derrick notices an old Chevy Impala parked. He wants to steal it so he can escape. He pulls on the door handle.
· SURPRISE: Suddenly car alarms begin to blare throughout the garage.
· FEAR: Derrick sees a shadow on the wall across from him.
· REACTION: Derrick looks toward a large Cadillac SUV and runs to duck under it.
· ANXIETY: His eyes search the garage from under the SUV.
· MONSTER REVEAL: Derrick feels both ankles grabbed and his body snatched from under the SUV.
· The MONSTER ASSISTANT subdues Derrick and renders him unconscious. The Monster’s assistant drags Derricks unconscious body to a white construction van parked in a dark corner. He opens the door and tosses Derrick into the back by his ankle. We see a few other unconscious bodies previously stacked in the van. The Monster’s assistant slams the doors shut.
·
11. EXT. EXPRESS ELEVATOR-NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: Wanda takes a look across the bridge and doesn’t like what she sees. Wanda looks for a stairwell exit next to the express elevator. She finds s stairwell exit but the door is locked.
· APPREHESION: She senses something fishy.
· APPREHESION: She hears the ding of the Monster elevator from across the bridge but the bridge is still dark.
· ANGUISH: She begins to cross the bridge
· REACTION: She tries the exit door next to the Monster elevator
· CREEPY: She takes the Monster Elevator and as the Monster elevator doors close, the Express Elevator doors open.
12. INT. MONSTER ELEVATOR – NIGHT
12. Wanda enters the Monster elevator. The doors shut. She pushes for floor ten and watches the floor panel lights with skepticism. The Monster elevator rises to floor eight and stops between floors eight and nine. She holds on as the Monster elevator plunges to the garage level. Wanda hides behind the panel as the doors open. She peeks once then twice and then a third time. She notices the guitar case and remembers seeing a woman carrying one earlier.
12.
13. FLASH BACK.
13.WANDA SITTING IN ONE OF THE OFFICES WATCHING A FOLLOW UP VIDEO WHEN SHE SEES MICHELLE WALKING CARRYING HER GUITAR TOWARD THE EXPRESS ELEVATOR.
13.
14. INT. PARKING GARAGE LEVEL
Wanda presses the door open lock button, leaves one leg in the elevator while she tries to reach for the guitar case handle. The elevator door begins closing. Wanda, surprised loses her balance and ends up outside the elevator. Wanda presses the elevator button but nothing happens. She scans the garage and decides to head toward the exit sign. She can see a lit street lamp at the end of the exit way. She grabs the guitar case and begins to walk. After taking a few steps forward she hears the monster elevator ding and the doors open.
HORROR SITUATION: Wanda sees a shadowing figure flash past the elevator doors and then the doors shut closed. Looking for the shadowing figure, Wanda becomes furious.
· ANGUISH: Wanda turns to run for the exit.
· MONSTER REVEAL: She runs into the monster assistant
· REACTION: An MMA fight begins, Wanda is the winner.
· RELEASE: She believes the coast is clear now and continues for the exit
· SURPRISE: but she is cut off by the real Monster.
She tries her best to fight but it’s useless. Wanda is overpowered by the Monster and thrown into the back of the waiting van. The guitar case gets crushed as the van drives off.
15. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR –NIGHT
Each member of the kidnapped group files one by one past the Funeral Director, up the isle toward a closed casket. All members file past the closed casket and then to take a seat in the seating area pews. One person is already seated and another person is standing to give a eulogy.
HORROR SITUATION: Once they sit, everyone in the group is frozen and unable to move once they sit in the pews. The only person able to move is the speaker.
· DENIAL: No one in the group is able to move, they can’t remember anything, like they are in a trance. Even the speaker seems like a robot.
· REACTION: They hear a buzzer sounding
· MONSTER REVEAL: The monster is present but is acting as the Funeral Director.
ACT II
16. INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
The group is in the Monster basement for the very first time. The Monster basement is a dungeon surrounding an interior room that closely resembles a white pristine hygienically clean surgery room. The walls are positioned in a half moon shape. There are eight chairs and eight people in the group.
HORROR SITUTION: Each new group member wakes up except one of them. They are strapped to chairs and have an IV attached to their arm.
· SHOCK: They are in shock at the condition, and can’t remember anything.
· REACTION: They each scream and yell for help. They try to loosen their bonds.
· DENIAL: Some of the group members believe that this is part of the week four of their colon cancer after care treatment program
· CREEPY: They can barely see what looks like a closed casket on the other side of a sheer curtain. There is also a large clock and timer hanging from the ceiling
· SCARY: They notice that one person in the chairs is either dead or unconscious.
· DENIAL: They are convinced by Michelle that the IV is just part of the treatment.
HORROR SITUATION: They each discuss the last thing they remember. The agree that the last thing they can remember is taking a detour to the tenth floor. They go around the room introducing themselves. Derrick is reluctant. Doesn’t want to know any names for faces he just wants to go back to work.
HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes.
17. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT
Everyone is seated except the same person who was reading from before. She continues finishing with her eulogy and then walks past the funeral director and out the door.
HORROR SITUATION: Everyone is frozen and unable to move, the same as last time. It’s as if they are awake but unconscious with their eyes open.
18. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
The group has returned from the wake service and back to the monster basement. They are in different chairs from before and the person who was asleep is gone. There is one empty chair.
HORROR SITUATION: They don’t remember ever leaving their seats or anything about the wake service at the funeral parlor.
· REACTION: Michelle notices that she is closer to the exit door than before and there is an empty chair at the end of the room.
· REACTION: Wanda notices that there is one person who is missing and a chair is empty too.
· DENIAL: Some think and then agree that the missing person must have finished her treatment for the day.
· DENIAL: It reminds them of the Colon Cancer Center from when they received chemo. The chairs were set up the same way but without the straps.
· APPREHENSION: Michelle remembers that the IV drip started when the clock buzzed but is now no longer dripping.
· SCARY: They hear chopping noises coming from an outer room.
· REACTION: They yell for someone to come and explain what’s going on.
· CREEPY: Know one shows up to greet them and the chopping continues.
Nikki, Wanda, Michelle, Chessley and Malcolm begin to tell their stories about how they had colon cancer, the treatment, that they were on the Vampire Blood donor list and that they were all reluctant at first to sign on with the Cancer Aftercare Treatment program sponsored by the Vampire/Human Peace Incentive Organization. (As a way for the Vampire Community to give back). They explain why they agreed to the program. Chessley tells how he didn’t really think he deserved to be treated at the center since he killed his younger brother but that his Uncle talked him into it by trying to convince him it wasn’t his fault that his younger brother overdosed on the drugs he was selling. Nikki was skeptical about joining the group until her boyfriend convinced her. Wanda was skeptical until another former Marine assured her the follow up treatment was exactly what she needed. Derrick wasn’t going to join but his boss at the firm said it was mandatory or they’d lose the funding for future medical benefits. Michelle was also skeptical but was promised her band would have her job waiting for her when she was fully recovered and that she’d be strong enough to go on the tour. Malcolm, who has always had an overweight problem and has already begun putting his overweight back on, was assured that this aftercare treatment would help him lose the weight and keep it off. All agreed that the reps were very nice and the videos were awesome and for the first three weeks it’s been exactly the wonderful experience they promised. (Show a montage of each person receiving a letter from the V/HPIO and their responses/skepticism). Derrick and Reader number two don’t get involved in the conversations. Derrick is indignant, and rude about the whole thing. They remember the elevator detour.
(NOTE THESE ARE ALL MONTAGES AND FLASHBACKS and are included as a reminder for me to include in the script)
HORROR SITUATION: They hear a door slam, a phone ringing, they think they can hear voices beyond the room they’re in.
· REACTION: They shush each other
· APPREHENSION: They believe someone is coming to finally greet them.
· SCARY: The lights turn off, everything goes black.
· REACTION: They all begin to scream for help in the dark
· MONSTER REVEAL: In the dark no one can see the Monster Assistant.
· SUSPENSE: Nikki thinks she can feel someone or something standing over her.
· REACTION: Nikki yells out.
· CREEPY: Nikki feels someone or something wet touching her thighs
· REACTION: Nikki yells out
· RELEASE: The molestation stops
HORROR SITUATION: The lights turn on; they are the only ones in the room. Everyone thinks Derrick is up to something and is a part of whatever this is. The clock buzzes and the IV drip begins.
· REACTION: Wanda orders everyone to notice the sequence of things, take a headcount and notice where they are sitting like they are hands on the clock. She is twelve and there are eight chairs and seven people in the room.
· DENIAL: Derrick responds against it.
19. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: Filing in like robots, the group files past the Funeral Director standing by the front entrance, past the closed casket and then to their seats. The only person able to move once they sit is the next eulogy reader who gets up walks to the front and begins reading the eulogy. The reader gets halfway through the read and we hear a clock buzzing.
20. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
The group has returned to the monster basement with no memory of the wake service at the funeral parlor. Wanda notices the IV drip has stopped and calls for everyone to answer up. Everyone answers up except Derrick and reader number two. Derrick does however add that reader number two is unconscious.
HORROR SITUATION: Everyone notices that they are in the same chairs as before and that the headcount remains the same and the one empty chair. Everyone is awake except the reader.
· ANXIETY: Everyone yells for the reader to wake up
· DENIAL: Derrick reminds them that all this strategy is a waste of time.
· SCARY: Malcolm notices that the IV drip is still dripping in the unconscious person
· ANGUISH: Michelle concentrates on the sleep person and the trace of casket she can see silhouetted behind the curtain. She begins to feel like this is all some way familiar.
· REACTION: Michelle explains what she’s feeling.
· DENIAL: Derrick cracks a joke, not in Kansas anymore Todo.
· SCARY: Derrick can hear a water hose running from the other room.
· REACTION: He finally speaks up. He tells everyone to be quiet and listen.
· ANGUISH: They put together that they heard the water hose running after they heard the chopping sounds.
HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes. Wanda shouts out the same orders from before. Everyone agrees except Derrick and the unconscious person.
21. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT
The group is already seated, frozen, and unable to speak; the same reader is standing at the podium continuing with the eulogy. (He’s saying the exact same words as the first reader). The speaker wraps it up and then exits the room past the funeral director.
HORROR SITUATION: They hear the clock buzzer sound.
22. INT. MONSTER’S BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
The clock sounds and the group has returned to the monster basement. Wanda sounds off with present and so do the others. Derrick doesn’t sound off but tells everyone that the sleeping guy next to him is gone. Everyone notices that the person is missing and there are now two empty chairs. They notice no IV dripping. Most of all they notice that each person has moved one spot over clockwise position.
HORROR SITUATION: They begin to notice more but have no recollection of the funeral parlor but they do discover that the time on the clock has advanced by thirty minutes.
· ANGUISH: Malcolm doesn’t want to point it out but he noticed the time has a thirty minute difference.
· CREEPY: Chessley points out that the chopping has begun again from the outer room.
· DENIAL: Nikki wonders if maybe the first two people finished their treatment and were released.
· REACTION: Derrick demands to see who is in charge.
· SCARY: The lights turn off again and the room is dark. They can hear other noises from outside the room, a microwave, whispering, chewing sounds, a large walk-in freezer door closing.
· SCARY: The lights return.
· APPREHESION: Michelle thinks she can see someone standing behind the sheer curtain, just standing.
HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes. Everyone is sharp now. They all pay attention to the clock and how the IV drip begins.
· REACTION: They get a headcount of six persons, the time on the clock and that everyone is awake. The IV bag begins to drip.
23. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: They all file by the Funeral Director and paste the closed casket. Everyone takes a seat in the pews.
· APPREHENSION: After a few minutes Chessley rises up and walks to the front of the room and behind the podium.
· REACTION: No one in the audience reacts because they are unable to.
· DENIAL: No one expects anything out of the ordinary.
Chessley begins the first part of the eulogy, same words as the previous two readers. At about halfway through the read the clock buzzes.
24. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
The group returns to the monster basement and begin with accountability checks.
HORROR SITUATION: Everyone wakes up from the IV drip and notice that the clock has a time of thirty minutes later.
· REACTION: Wanda takes another headcount and has everyone sound off with present.
· ANGUISH: They all notice that Chessley didn’t sound off with present.
· APPREHENSION: They notice they are all in the same seats, haven’t been moved
· REACTION: Everyone wonders about the loss of time
· ANGUISH: Michelle points out the two phase cycle she believes is happening. The water hose, The clock, loss of time, waking up, one person still asleep, buzzing, loss of time again, waking up, one missing, chopping sounds.
· CREEPY: They all direct their attention to Chessley, who is still unconscious.
· REACTION: Derrick points out that he can hear the water hose running again.
· SCARY: They all yell for Chessley to wake up.
Michelle focuses more on the front of the room and the casket she can see behind the curtain and wants everyone to do the same. A few remark how it reminds them of a funeral they recently attended but couldn’t remember who had died. (Maybe it was a distant relative). They agree that it was more like a WAKE service.
HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes.
25. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT
The group has returned to the funeral parlor already seated and Chessley is finishing up his eulogy. He tries to give some kind of signal to the group or say something different but he can’t.
· MONSTER REVEAL: He is instructed by the Funeral Director that it’s time to exit.
· REACTION: Chessley walks the isle past the group and the Funeral director and exits the room.
26. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
The group returns to the monster basement and begin with accountability checks.
HORROR SITUATION: After the accountability check they notice that Chessley is no longer with them and that they have all moved their position and there are now three empty chairs.
· REACTION: They immediately look toward where Chessley was sitting. Michelle’s eyes are full of tears. She is in the position where Chessley was. But the order has seemed at random so it’s hard to determine who will be next.
· DENIAL: They call out Chessley’s name hoping he is still in the building.
· RELEASE: Malcolm suggests that maybe there is a good safety reason as to why they are strapped into the chairs, like for their own good.
· TERROR: They can hear the chopping and what also sounds like the buzzing of a saw from the outer room.
· DENIAL: Michelle prays that the chopping isn’t what she thinks it is.
· ANGUISH: Derrick points out that this might be everyone’s fate in the end.
· CREEPY: Nikki sounds off about how her school-girl pleated skirt has been pulled up almost over her hips.
· DENIAL: Malcolm suggests that maybe it happened during the move because he can see that his right shoe lace has become untied.
· REACTION: Nikki remarks how the buttons on her blouse are partially unbuttoned.
· ANGUISH: Michelle points out what seems to be a continuous dream she’s having about a Wake service and she’s sure everyone is there with her.
· REACTION: Nikki agrees and adds how she remembers Chessley getting up and how she tried to reach out to him.
· SCARY: Malcolm asks who they think the next person will be.
· REACTION: They all look toward Derrick who is sitting next to where Chessley was sitting.
HORROR SITUATION: The clock buzzes.
· REACTION: Wanda orders everyone to remember something from the loss time and suggests maybe the Wake service is the best idea so far.
27. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT
The group files past the Funeral Director and the closed casket before taking their seats in the pews.
HORROR SITUATION: Michelle stands and walks over to the podium in the front of the room.
· REACTION: Michelle begins to speak.
28. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
The typical two phase torture cycle has been interrupted from its normal routine.
HORROR SITUATION: The Monster notices that Michelle is not fully unconscious but is out of it enough to not be a threat.
29. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: Michelle is slurring her words. Malcolm and Derrick are present sitting in the pews but are collapsed and unconscious. Michelle’s speech is abruptly interrupted. She collapses and falls to the floor. Everyone else is in shock.
30. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster notices that Michelle isn’t fully unconscious. The works of the Monster and the assistant are witnessed by Derrick and Malcolm as the Monster inspects the condition of Michelle.
· REACTION: She is moving her head slightly and breathing irregularly.
· RELEASE: Derrick and Malcolm secretly acknowledge each other.
· REALEASE: The Monster Assistant KIMWAKAZZI, has not distributed the correct IV dosage to the speaker, Michelle, as well as two other group members.
· RELEASE: DERRICK and MALCOLM are fully awake and playing possum. NIKKI and WANDA are fully unconscious.
· RELEASE: Other than Michelle being somewhat conscious, the MONSTER and Kimwakazzi are unaware of the mishap until later when it’s time to bring the whole group back. This is the first instance where anyone from the group will have proof that what they are experiencing is not part of the aftercare cancer treatment. The two men continue to play possum.
· SUSPENSE: The Monster checks to make sure each group member is still unconscious. He checks Wanda. The Monster checks to make sure that Michelle, who is not totally unconscious, is too out of it to notice. The Monster checks Nikki and finds that she is totally unconscious.
· SCARY: Malcolm and Derrick, who are totally awake manage to see everything through tightly squinted eyes.
· CREEPY: Kimwakazzi drops to his knees in front of NIKKI’s chair, while she is unconscious, and begins to lick and suck on her thighs. Malcolm and Derrick can see that his tongue is grotesquely deformed and are freaked out but unable to show it.
· REACTION: The Monster notices this and attacks Kimwakazzi for his behavior.
· SUSPENCE: The Monster slowly approaches Derrick.
· SURPRISE: Suddenly the lights turn out. Everything has gone black, a surprise to the Monster, Kimwakazzi, Derrick and Malcolm.
· SUSPENCE: When the lights come back on the Monster has bent over Derrick and is now face to face with him.
· FEAR: The Monster can feel Derrick’s essence and wants to see if he will flinch.
· REACTION: Derrick’s eyes are totally shut now but he can feel the Monster’s breath on his face. Derrick manages to control the fear he feels. Derrick is holding his own.
· ANGUISH: Malcolm is praying the Monster doesn’t come to him next.
· CREEPY: Malcolm, while able to control his response, is unable to control his bladder as he begins to urinate himself.
· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster stands over Malcolm and is about to bend over to inspect him when the buzzer sounds.
The clock buzzes and the remainder of the group returns from the FUNERAL PARLOR to the Monster basement. The Monster and Kimwakazzi clear the room just in time.
31. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
The group returns to the monster basement and begin with accountability checks.
HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick agree not to mention what they witnessed, especially to Nikki.
· APPRENHESION: They all return with memories of the Wake and with questions.
· REACTION: Everyone looks toward Michelle who has not answered up.
· ANGUISH: They have to admit that Michelle is next.
· SHOCK: Michelle is partially awake and can talk.
· CREEPY: Everyone can see that Malcolm has peed himself.
· REACTION: They ask what happened to him.
· DENIAL: Malcolm stands fast with Derrick.
· CREEPY: Nikki asks why her blouse is unbuttoned all the way now and exposing her cleavage.
· REACTION: Malcolm can’t help but explain everything he saw and asks Derrick to back him up.
· DENIAL: They don’t believe him and most of all they don’t believe the Monster is who Malcolm claims it is. Impossible.
· REACTION: Derrick fesses up and backs up Malcolm.
· REACTION: Wanda comes up with a plan using Nikki as bait.
· DENIAL: Nikki doesn’t like the idea.
· RELEASE: They suggest that it could save Michelle’s life.
· FEAR: They can hear the water hose running and water draining again.
· ANGUISH: Nikki agrees and hikes her skirt up over her hips and pulls her blouse open more.
· RELEASE: Malcolm and Derrick realize that they have built up a tolerance to the IV dosage because of past drug addictions. They both hope they remain conscious for the next round and agree to play possum again.
The clock buzzer sounds.
32. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR – NIGHT.
The group, back in the pews, Michelle is continuing with her eulogy. Everyone is focused on Michelle. Malcolm and Derrick appear to be a little light headed and able to move their head to nod at each other.
CUT TO.
33. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick are fully conscious and able to watch what actually goes on during the second phase of the Wake service.
· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster and the assistant are busy moving bodies and IV equipment and for the first time we see that their blood is being suctioned by another IV attached to their necks.
· RELEASE: Derrick and Malcolm discover the real reason they are being held captive. They put it together because they know who the Monster is. The Monster and assistant continue to reposition the group into their new chairs.
· SCARY: When the monster gets to Michelle he snatches her and flings her to the floor. Supposedly dead by now.
· REACTION: Derrick and Malcolm, still playing possum, witness her body slam to the floor.
· CREEPY: They can see Kimwakazzi fondling Nikki’s helpless body.
· SUSPENCE: The Monster unstraps and picks up Malcolm and moves him. (AT THE SAME TIME) The Monster is distracted by the movement of Michelle’s body on the floor. She is trying to crawl away. He doesn’t strap Malcolm all the way.
· SUSPENSE: The Monster assistant releases and picks up Derrick and moves him to his new position.
· CREEPY: He’s distracted again by Nikki’s exposed body and forgets to strap Derrick in tightly.
· CREEPY: The monster assistant forgetting to completely strap Derrick in returns to Nikki’s chair.
· REACTION: The monster notices what Kimwakazzi is doing to Nikki. Attacks him.
· REACTION: The monster picks him up and body slams him to across the room.
· MONSTER REVEAL: Again the Monster hears Michelle moaning and moving and is surprised that she isn’t dead. He picks her up and sinks his fangs into her neck. He drains whatever blood she has left in her leaving her dead and partially decapitated. He leaves the room.
· CREEPY: Kimwakazzi, can’t take his eyes off of Nikki..
· MONSTER REVEAL: Kimwakazzi, still googling at Nikki, drags Michelle’s lifeless body to the chopping room.
HORROR SITUATION: Once the Monster and Kimwakazzi leave the chair room, Derrick wants to make a run for it. Malcolm shakes his head no in disagreement to afraid to speek.
CUT TO:
34. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT
Michelle glances over to Derrick, Malcolm, Wanda and Nikki and mouths the words goodbye. Michelle begins her long walk toward the exit and past the Funeral Director but she collapses midway and won’t get up. The Funeral Director walks to her and helps her to her feet and continues to assist her out the exit.
35. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT.
HORROR SITUATION: The group returns and notices that Michelle is no longer with them. They notice the trail of blood.
· DENIAL: They feel like the plan to distract the monster didn’t work.
· Reaction: Niki feels like she sacrificed her body for nothing.
· RELEASE: Malcolm and Derrick explain what happened and that they are only partially strapped in and able to escape.
· MONSTER REVEAL: They also explain that the monster is a popular Det. With the ATLANTA police department who is on TV every week. He’s the vampire/human liaison officer. It’s his job to keep the peace between Humans and Vampires.
HORROR SITUATION: The group can hear chopping of what they are now sure are body parts.
· REACTION: Wanda, what are you guys waiting for let’s get out of here.
· DENIAL: Derrick suggests that only one person escape and goes for help. Too many escaping will get them all killed.
· APPREHENSION: Malcolm tries to release Niki while Derrick tries to release Wanda.
· REACTION: It fails. The monster and his assistant return to the room after hearing the commotion.
ACT 3 – FULL OUT HORROR
FIGHT TO THE DEATH:
36. INT. ATLANTA POLICE DEPARTMENT VAMPIRE/HUMAN HOMICIDE VICTIMS UNIT – NIGHT
DETECTIVE LEO RILEY is welcomed to the unit by CAPTAIN MARSHAL. He directs Det. Riley to stop by for an unannounced visit to Det. Reineer Davenport who hasn’t shown up for work in over four days and reminds him that Reineer’s brother has been missing.
37. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – DAY/NIGHT
Malcolm and Derrick have escaped and are on the run. They were unable to free Nikki and Wanda because they thought they heard the Monster and Kimwakazzi returning to the chair room.
HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick duck behind the black curtain. They see a casket and other scary objects. They see someone chained to the floor with a black hood over her face.
· REACTION: Derrick wants to keep running but Malcolm wants to help her.
· SUSPENSE: Malcolm snatches the hood from her head. She looks to be a fierce vampire.
· SCARY: She glares her fangs and hisses at him causing her chains to rattle.
HORROR SITUATION: The monster hears the commotion from behind the curtain and orders his assistant to check it out.
· SCARY: The assistant leaps behind the curtain and growls and glares his fangs hoping to catch the two escapees. He searches but they are gone.
HORROR SITUATION: Malcolm and Derrick make their way through the basement noticing things along the way.
· CREEPY: They notice Michelle’s clothing and some mutilated body parts. They come across what appears to be a covered cage.
· DENIAL: They hope to find a survivor in the cage. Derrick insists they find a way out.
· SUSPENCE: Malcolm uncovers the cage.
· SCARY: A vicious vampire dog type leaps at him from behind the cage doors.
· REACTION: Derrick, Can we go now Good Samaritan?
· RELEASE: They find a partially open basement window.
· REACTION: They realize the window is too high to reach. They play rock paper scissors to see who will lift who through the window. They play a few rounds, Derrick cheats at it. Malcolm wins.
· DENIAL: Derrick can’t lift Malcolm’s overweight body.
· DENIAL: Malcolm couldn’t fit through window anyway.
· REACTION: Malcolm lifts Derrick through the window.
HORROR SITUATION: From outside the window, Derrick turns to restate his promise to go for help just as the monster snaps Malcolm’s neck all the way around.
· REACTION: Derrick hides from the Monster’s view.
· MONSTER REVEAL: The monster stands there to look for Derrick.
HORROR SITUATION: The monster hears the doorbell ring.
· REACTION: The monster drags Malcolm’s body back to the chair room and places Malcolm’s dead body back into an empty chair.
· REACTION: Nikki and Wanda both yell and scream for help.
HORROR SITUATION: The monster hears the doorbell again.
· REACTION: The monster calls for his assistant, no answer.
· DENIAL: The assistant is hiding from the monster.
HORROR SITUATION: The doorbell rings again nonstop.
38. EXT. MONSTER HOUSE – NIGHT
Det. Riley is banging and ringing at the door. Derrick is watching from the side bushes but ready to make a run for it. He has no intentions on helping. After seeing Malcolm killed he figures everyone else is also dead. Derrick watches as Det. Riley enters the house.
· REACTION: Derrick wants to get close enough to hear the conversation.
· DENIAL: Derrick thinks that Det. Riley will save the day.
39. INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR — NIGHT
Det. Riley introduces himself to Det. Davenport and mentions that the Cpt. Told him to drop by to inquire why he’s been out almost a week and that he will be his new partner relocated from the DEKALB POLICE DEPARTMENT.
HORROR SITUATION: Det. Riley can hear cries for help coming from the basement but doesn’t let on that he can hear them.
· FEAR: The Monster realizes that he has left the basement door open.
· DENIAL: Det. Riley tries to say goodbye so Det. Davenport can get back to whatever he was doing.
· ANGUISH: The Monster believes Det. Riley is onto him.
· SCARY: The front door fly’s open with a loud slam against the wall but there is no gust of wind. Det. Riley reacts to this. He’s caught off guard. He tries to maintain his fear. That was no wind gust.
· REACTION: The Monster shows Det. Riley to the door.
· RELEASE: Det. Riley turns toward the screen door to leave. He’s relieved.
HORROR SITUATION:
· MONSTER REVEAL: Det. Davenport places his left hand on the back of Det. Riley’s upper back/lower neck area as if to pat him on the back, like a good by gesture. But with his right hand he grabs the open Oak Wood door.
·With his left hand Det. Davenport pins Det. Riley’s head to the door-frame and begins slamming the Oak Wood Door onto Det. Riley’s head over and over again. Skull and brain grey matter splatters everywhere including onto Det. Davenport’s face.
· SCARY: Det. Davenport lifts Det. Riley’s dead body over his shoulder, locks the front door and carries him to the basement.
40. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
The Monster carries Det. Riley’s body to the basement.
HORROR SITUATION:
He drops Det. Riley’s dead body onto the empty chair between NIKKI and WANDA.
· REACTION: Nikki and Wanda become frantic, Nikki begs for her life to be spared.
41. EXT THE STREET-NIGHT
Derrick, who witnessed the murder of Det. Riley takes off running down the street and has no plans to look back let alone help.
42. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: The Monster snatches Wanda from her chair, breaking through the straps and all.
· REACTION: In true Marine fashion.
· SHOCK: She battles it out.
· DENIAL: She refuses to let the Monster make her beg or show any weakness.
· REACTION: The monster sinks his teeth into her neck, drains her of her blood and tosses her body to the floor.
43. INT DET RILEY’S CAR– NIGHT
Derrick has a second thought and turns around. He runs back the police car. Derrick makes a radio call to the police station, Officer Down and he gives them the address. He grabs the shotgun filled with shotgun shells filled with UV serum.
44. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT – NIGHT
Derrick makes his way with the shotgun back through the basement window.
HORROR SITUATION: The Monster snatches Nikki from behind the chair and throws her into an empty chair and is going to kill her.
· MONSTER REVEAL: The Monster wants to have a little fun with Nikki.
HORROR SITUATION: The Monster picks Wanda’s dead body from the floor and treats her like she’s a ventriloquist dummy. He torments Nikki.
· FEAR: The Monster flings Wanda’s body onto the floor. Nikki is hysterical now. She can’t control her fear. She’s struggling in the chair. Her tears wont’ stop crying.
· REACTION: Nikki begs the monster not to kill her and she will do anything he wants, just don’t kill me.
· ANGUISH: She looks at the monster assistant and begs for his help.
· RELEASE: Nikki thinks of a way out.
· REACTION: The Monster agrees to the terms. Nikki can go back under, one more time at the wake service.
45. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT
Nikki is standing at the podium. All five members of the main group are present to hear her departing eulogy.
46. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
The Monster thinks he hears something and sends Kimwakazzi to investigate. Kazzi doesn’t go; instead he hides and only pretends to leave the room.
47. INT. FUNERAL PARLOR-NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: Nikki can hear a squeaking noise behind her. She turns to look.
· SCARY: While Nikki is reading her speech everyone in attendees stand at the same time as if pulled up all at once. She continues as they all point at the casket, again at the same time.
· SCARY: The casket opens.
· SHOCK: Nikki looks and it’s her body in the casket.
48. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-DAY/NIGHT
HORROR SITUATION: The Monster grabs an unconscious Nikki from her chair and lifts her high over his head. He prepares his free hand, claws drawing out, to snatch Nikki’s heart from her chest.
· SURPRISE: The Monster assistant grabs the Monster’s hand to stop him.
· SHOCK: The Monster can’t believe he’s been betrayed by his assistant.
· MONSTER REVEAL: He flings Nikki to the floor and kills his assistant. The Monster looks around.
· DENIAL: The Monster can’t believe how things have turned out.
HORROR SITUATION: The Monster picks Nikki up to kill her.
· SURPRISE: Derrick is behind the Monster. “Hey”
· SHOCK: The Monster turns toward Derrick.
· REACTION: Derrick fires the shotgun.
· ANGUISH: it’s too late. The Monster is holding Niki’s heart in his hand as he bursts into amber flames
· ANGUISH: Derrick takes a look around and can’t believe he survived.
49. INT. MONSTER HOUSE FRONT DOOR – NIGHT
Derrick is ordered to drop the gun by the waiting police and is swiftly removed from the house. They place Derrick in handcuffs, take him to a police car and begin a search of the house.
50. INT. MONSTER BASEMENT-NIGHT
The police discover the torture that has gone on in the house, the chained female vampire and discover the closed casket. They begin to open the casket…
CUT TO:
THREE MONTHS EARLIER:
A lone Catholic priest sits on a parkbench at sunrise. A pleading voice can be heard over a speaker cellphone.
End Outline.
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Budinscak Horror Outline Version 1
Finishing Horror Outline Powerfully
Day 15
What I learned doing this assignment is…
o Now is the time to make changes to your story.
o Great time to amp up the horror scenes.
o This outline should be the template for a solid first draft.
o I do have a few plot holes in the story I need to address in the outline.
OUTLINE:
ACT 1
Note: Opening Scene
1. INT – TUNNEL – NIGHT
A bruised young woman (Vicki) staggers down a dark tunnel. She eventually passes out at the feet of a robotic animal.
Horror Situation: The young woman is running from an unknown pursuer.
APPREHENSION: She is running from something and she is scared.
SHOCK: She hears the whirring sound of blades. A light illuminates her path. She picks up her pace.
FEAR: She’s running faster than she should to safely navigate in the dark.
DREAD: She drops at the feet of something robotic.
SUPER: “6 Hours Earlier”
2. EXT – LARGE FIELD – DAY
A Forest Ranger, VICKI, goes about her job. She’s unsure, a bit clumsy and looks completely out of place. She follows an eagle in obvious distress and happens upon poachers. They shoot at Vicki before fleeing. She ‘bags’ an article of clothing left behind.
3. INT – JEEP – DAY
Vicki answers a call for help from a local farmer who’s had a few cows slaughtered.
4. EXT – FARM – DAY
Vicki listens to the farmer’s version of events. A farmhand removes a tarp covering what used to be a cow. Vicki’s stunned. Curtis blames a nearby closed government facility as the source of the problem. A 3-truck military convoy heads to the facility.
Horror Situation: What killed the cows?
ANXIETY: Ian prepares to pull back the tarp, Vicki and Curtis lean forward.
RELEASE: The trucks in the military convoy honk their horns surprising Vicki, the farmer and his helper.
SURPRISE: There’s barely anything left of the cows. Vile remains.
RELEASE: Vicki barely contains herself to keep from vomiting.
SUSPENSE: The farmer describes strange happenings the past few days.
5. EXT – FARM FIELD – DAY
Vicki, Curtis (farmer) and Ian (farmhand – new hire) stop their conversation to watch a helicopter buzz overhead in the direction of the closed government facility – Candy Cane Mountain.
6. INT – HELICOPTER – DAY
The COMMANDER, the bad guy, converses with his 4 man handpicked team. They turn silent watching either a UFO or special drone mirror their flight path before flying straight up and out of sight.
NOTE: Inciting Incident.
Horror Situation: What was that flying next to us?
SURPRISE: The helicopter pilot is surprised, the Commander and his men are not.
FEAR: The copter pilot worries about UFOs.
RELEASE: The Commander convinces the pilot he needs to be worried about his passengers inside the helicopter than what’s going on outside.
7. EXT – FARM FIELD – DAY
Vicki, Curtis and Ian just look at one another. They’re not sure what they saw, but the believe it was a UFO. After Vicki leaves the farm, Curtis and Ian take off after the military convoy.
8. INT – JEEP – DAY
Vicki tries to call the ranger station, but has cell phone issues. She senses something following her, but can’t identify it.
9. EXT – ROAD – DAY
The drone buzzes a herd of deer spooking them – they rush into the road. The jeep swerves to miss the deer, but crashes in a ditch. Vicki is uninjured, but the jeep isn’t going anywhere. Vicki watches the drone fly to the government facility – she follows on foot.
10. EXT – MOUNTAIN CARGO AREA – DAY
SOLDIERS offload equipment for their mission. Everyone heads inside except for the two soldiers who ready for departure.
11. EXT – ROAD – DAY
The farmer’s truck pulls off the road near the cargo area and hides behind bushes.
12. INT – CURTIS TRUCK – DAY
Curtis leaves a message for Vicki that he and Ian followed the convoy and they’re heading inside. Curtis and Ian will split up. Ian circles around to the back, Curtis will go in the front. Curtis hides in bushes to evaluate his options.
13. EXT – ROAD – DAY
Vicki’s cell finally has service. She plays Curtis’ message and vocalizes her disapproval. She picks up her pace. She’s close to the closed facility known as Candy Cane Mountain.
14. EXT – CARGO AREA – DAY
The two soldiers left behind are spooked when they spot a translucent figure evolve into a menacing shape full of fangs and claws. The men are ripped apart.
Curtis turns to escape, but is overcome by a mist. Curtis shift shapes into a larger, muscular, hairier version of his former self. He decides to head inside to hunt.
Horror Situation: See what the monster looks like.
APPREHENSION: The monster isn’t a definitive form, but is able to shift shape itself.
SURPRISE: The monster made itself into a gas to infiltrate/inhabit Curtis.
SUSPENSE: Alien occupied Curtis stalks the occupants inside.
15. INT – MEDIA ROOM – DAY
The Commander meets with the onsite personnel about ‘mission weather balloon.’ SOM (Site Ops Manager) confides to him of an alien presence. He brings the Commander to a makeshift prison.
16. INT – MAKESHIFT PRISON – DAY
The SOM has prisoners – animal and human – sequestered in glass ‘prisons’. He shares his thoughts with the Commander, and shows a picture of a man dismembered by ‘something’ in here. Their conversation ends when sensors (infrared, motion detection, video) alert them to a visitor.
17. INT – MEDIA ROOM – DAY
AOC (Alien Occupied Curtis) fools all detection equipment except one camera. A mist occupies Curtis’ clothes as it hovers down the tunnel. The SOM sends a robotic animal to intercept the being. They watch on video screens.
18. INT – TUNNEL – CONTINUOUS
The robot approaches Curtis coming to a complete stop as the Curtis-thing dissipates.
19. EXT – CARGO AREA – DAY
Vicki draws her gun and stealthily enters the mountain through the cargo area.
20. INT – MINE OFFICE – DAY
Plot Point 1.
ACT 2
21. INT – MEDIA ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Vicki’s image shows up on multiple sensors. The Commander unveils newly minted special weapons arming Bravo and Delta. They’re sent to find out what’s happening.
21. INT – TUNNEL – DAY
Bravo is savagely killed by the inhabited Curtis. Delta gets off a shot slaying the farmer, but when Curtis drops, the mist invades Delta. It’s a horrible death.
Horror Situation: The monster slays two soldiers.
APPREHENSION: The soldiers know something is out there, but feel confident their special weapons will work.
SHOCK: Bravo and Delta exhaust their new weapons – the weapons are useless.
FEAR: The monster adapts – the special shells pass through the mist.
DREAD: The mist has a physical impact easily dismembering Bravo.
PANIC: The monster/mist invades Delta through his nose, mouth and ears. It searches for what scares Delta most – spiders
TERROR: The mist replicates a large spider, capturing Delta in its web, totally encasing him. Monster uses psychological as well as physical torture.
22. INT – MEDIA ROOM – DAY
The power shuts off. Cameras shut down, infrared sensors malfunction, motion detectors stop. No cell service, internet is down. The lights go out. The Commander sends Echo to search for the intruder (Vicki). He’s accompanied by FIDO, another robotic animal.
23. INT – TUNNEL – NIGHT
Vicki is tracked by Echo and the robotic animal. As they close in, Vicki hides behind an outcropping. Just before Echo shows up, a hand covers Vicki’s mouth dragging her through a crack to safety.
Horror Situation: As Vicki hides from Echo/robotic animal, a hand covers her mouth and drags her way.
ANXIETY: The unnatural sound of metal clinking along on rock, and it grows louder.
FEAR: The pace of metal on rock picks up, it’s moving faster.
SUSPENSE: Vicki recedes further behind the outcropping for safety.
PANIC: A hand comes from behind, covers Vicki’s mouth dragging her away.
RELEASE: The hand belongs to Ian, he saves her.
24. INT – CREVICE – CONTINUOUS
Vicki cannot believe Ian rescued her. He updates her on Curtis – his death – and how he saw the monster – it’s real big. They bond over similar likes and interests – animals.
25. INT – TUNNEL – NIGHT
Vicki gets separated from Ian. She’s pursued by a drone. Vicki rushes down the tunnel, falls and passes out at the foot of the robotic animal.
NOTE: Opening scene
26. INT – MAKESHIFT PRISON – NIGHT
Vicki is dragged to the prison and tossed into a cell by herself. She notes the other cells contain people as well as animals – and meets all the prisoners. She is tortured by SOM (Site Operations Manager) for her efforts.
27. INT – MAKESHIFT CELL – NIGHT
Ian helps Vicki escape from her cell. Vicki releases all the prisoners – human and animal – and they all flee down various tunnels.
28. INT – PRISION OFFICE – NIGHT
The SOM releases his high-tech toys to hunt down the escaped prisoners. The SOM is willing to kill everything and anything until the alien is exposed. The SOM begins his killing spree.
29. INT – MINE SHAFT – NIGHT
Social Media Influencers, Biff and Babs, can’t resist taking selfies and trying to live stream their escape. They don’t escape, but do live stream their demise.
Horror situation: The couple evade a drone to be slain by the monster.
SURPRISE: As Babs checks for cell service, they hear a noticeable whirring sound behind them – it’s a drone.
FEAR: The drone will detect them.
SUSPENSE: A whooshing sound approaches, engulfs then leaves. The drone follows it. Biff and Babs emerge from their hiding place and get ready to take a selfie.
RELEASE: The whooshing sound approaches and is on them in a flash.
SCARE: The whooshing sound is caused by bats.
RELEASE: They’re safe.
PANIC: After calming down, Babs finds she’s able to live stream from her phone. She and Biff get ready to take their selfie – in the background, the monster smiles for the camera.
Act 3
30. INT – TUNNELS – NIGHT
The prisoners race to freedom trying to stay ahead of the SOM’s drones and robotic animals. Vicki is recaptured and dragged back to the makeshift prison.
31. INT – MEDIA ROOM – NIGHT
The Commander and his men prepare the ‘weather balloon’ for transport. The monster lurks – it kills soldiers only, no prisoners or animals are harmed.
32. INT – MAKESHIFT PRISON – NIGHT
The SOM is full tilt crazy as he draws his gun and prepares to shoot animals/people in hopes of eliminating the monster. Ian is handcuffed to a chair. Vicki protectively wraps her body around a small, injured cat. Vicki is shot and dies.
Horror Situation: Vicki is shot dead.
SURPRISE: Vicki instinctively scoops up the injured cat protecting it.
SHOCK: Ian pleads with the SOM to not shoot Vicki
FEAR: Ian believes Vicki will be shot. He cannot free himself.
DREAD: The SOM fires and hits Vicki. She dies.
SURPRISE: Ian reveals himself to be an alien – he frees himself easily from the handcuffs.
33. INT – PRISON – CONTINUOUS
Ian becomes a mist infiltrating Vicki’s body – he shares himself with her. The result – Vicki is revived, but with a twist – she can separate her animal spirit from her body/flesh. She appears different – stronger, sleeker, confident – a predator, no longer prey. Her animal spirit seeks revenge.
Horror Situation: Vicki is revived and she retains what the alien intentionally left behind.
SHOCK: Vicki comes back alive
FEAR: There is an evident link to the alien monster when Vicki controls her spirit.
DREAD: The Drone Pilot and SOM seek safety from Vicki’s spirit in a duct-taped office.
TERROR: Vicki transports her spirit inside the office. The Drone Pilot and SOM die horrible deaths.
34. INT – MEDIA ROOM – NIGHT
The Commander readies to leave with the ‘weather balloon’ in tow. He’s confronted by Ian and Vicki. Ian convinces Vicki to let the Commander live – he’s food for the trip back home. In a FLASH, everything disappears – weather balloon, aliens, etc – as if they never existed.
35. INT – SPACESHIP – NIGHT
Ian and the other aliens prepare their meal, the Commander.
36. EXT – CARGO AREA – NIGHT
Vicki is a new person with distinct changes to her appearance, her walk, posture, demeanor, everything including her attitude.
37. INT – JEEP – NIGHT
Vicki finds her backpack and removes the zip-lock baggy containing a poacher’s garment. She breathes in deeply and releases her animal spirit for vengeance.
38. EXT – CAMPSITE – NIGHT
Vicki’s spirit comes across two poachers. She frees all captured animals and tortures the poachers. They’ll never do it again.
39. INT – BAR – NIGHT
Vicki’s interviewed about what happened the night she was abducted. She shows the interviewer just enough that they’re worried. Vicki’s eyes glow in the dark – and then she’s gone.
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LESSON 15 OUTLINE VERSION 1
by D. A. Stenard
What I learned in doing this assignment is: I have such a long way to go to fully flesh out this script, but I can’t believe how easy it was to construct the outline, given all the lessons we had in this class. I truly believe I will be able to write a coherent script from this outline
SPITE FENCE
LOGLINE- A rabid maniac with a grudge terrorizes a group of vacationers at a secluded luxury resort in the woods.
OPENING SCENE-
1. EXT. MOUNTAIN ROAD – DAY
Winding road in a heavy forested area. Giant SIGN announcing new resort development .
2. EXT. RESORT – DAY
Top of mountain. A giant fence blocks top of the hill.
3. EXT. FRONT -GATE – DAY. A TECH WORKER on ladder.
Working on gate mechanics.
4. EXT. BASE OF LADDER – FRONT GATE – DAY
A weird-looking guy in stumble-walks up to the gate.
5. EXT. TOP OF GATE – DAY
The gate starts to close, almost knocking over the ladder.
SURPRISE: The tech looks down and sees the odd guy.
RELEASE: The tech talks with the weird guy.
ANXIETY: Tech gets call -about wild fire moving closer.
SHOCK: Weird Guy uses knife to slash tires on truck.
PANIC: Tech runs away into the woods in fear.
6. EXT. WOODS – DAY
Tech running blindly through the woods.
SUSPERSE: Stops to catch his breath. Hears something crashes through the woods.
RELEASE: turns out to be a deer. He relaxes.
HORROR: turns around and is face to face with the weirdo. Weirdo knocks him down and hogties him
ANGUISH: Weirdo declaims that he will all who built the fence, cutting off access to the sacred mountain
HYSTERIA: Tech bleeding, begging for his life. Weirdo drags him to edge of a pit and throws him in. A scream that stops.
7. INT. SUV – DAY
Billionaire Developer of the resort (VAUGHN) and his toady Second-In-Command (LOUIS) have brought two young girls (EVABETH and AMBER) to visit the resort .
8. EXT. ROAD – DAY
The SUV roars along the mountain top to the entrance. Get out of SUV to explore woods
9. EXT. WOODS – DAY
Evabeth talks about how she grew up in the area.
SHOCK: They notice bodies of animals strung up in trees.
ANXIETY: The girls want to turn around. Louis says they have been getting threatening letters from a Forest Rights group promised to disrupt the opening of the resort.
DIGUST: At the gate, a large deer, hung between two trees .
PANIC: Vaughn orders Louis to remove the deer. As he cuts the ropes, the deer explode maggots all over Louis.
10. INT. MAIN LOBBY – DAYE
Guests are met by Concierge (GLORIA) and security guard (DIESEL). Gloria warns them about the odd local weirdo.
11. Vaughn and Louis explore the property. Evabeth warns everyone the area is full of collapsed sinkholes.
SURPRISE: As Louis rushes ahead, he suddenly disappears.
ANXIETY: Others run to where they saw Louis disappear. Amber peers into the hole to see Louis hanging onto tree roots to avoid falling to the bottom.
SHOCK: In the bottom of the hole, there is a maze of sharpened sticks with a body impaled on them.
RELEASE: Amber helps Louis out of the hole.
12. INT. MAIN LOBBY – DAY
Girls insist on leaving; Vaughn orders Diesel to drive them
13. EXT. MAIN GATE – DAY
They are surprised to find the front gate now closed. Diesel climbs the gate to try and get it working.
HORROR SITUATION
DREAD: Amber is convinced that they won’t get the gate open.
SHOCK: Diesel reaches the top of the gate. An
arrow pierces his thigh.
PANIC: He falls onto the spikes at the top of the fence.
ANGUISH: The women leave Diestel hanging. They reverse the SUV and race back to the resort.
14. EXT. FRONT LOBBY DOORS – DAY
The men barricade the doors so the girls can’t get in. Gloria uses a different exit to get the girls and drag them to safety.
15. EXT. MAIN GATE – DAY
The weirdo (ABADDON) heaves himself over the fence.
16. INT. RESORT RRECEPTION – DAY
An arrow slams into the locked doors.
17. INT. RESORT- SAFE ROOM – AFTERNOON
Gloria brings the two girls to the Boss’s safe room.
18. EXT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
Vaughn and Louis discover the cell tower has been destroyed. They find human body parts in the woods.
19. INT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
Abaddon wanders through the resort.
SHOCK: Gloria and the girls watch Abaddon on closed circuit TV.
DREAD: Gloria reasons that he must have contracted rabies .
FEAR: Abaddon makes his way to where they are hiding.
PANIC: Evabeth forces her way out of the safe room and Gloria and Amber must follow.
20. EXT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
Vaughn and Louis find the kitchen and look for weapons.
21. INT. RESORT – AFTERNOON
The women play a game of hide-and-seek with Abaddon.
SUSPENSE: The women try to stay one step ahead of Abaddon.
FEAR: Evabeth is behind a door and Abaddon is on the other side. A noise distracts him and Evabeth is able to escape.
SURPRISE/SCARE: Gloria is searching when something grabs her. It is only Amber, but then they hear Evabeth scream.
HYSTERIA: Evabeth is struggling with Vaughn and Louis.
Gloria wants to go to the safe room but the men want to fight.
22. INT. KITCHEN – AFTERNOON
Vaughn and Louis search through the kitchen for weapons.
ANXIETY: The men are trying to find the knife drawer
FEAR: Gloria can see Abaddon on the cameras .
ANXIETY: Louis picks up a giant carving knife to show Vaughn,
who is frozen in horror on the other side of the room.
TERROR: Abaddon is standing behind him. They struggle
HYSTERIA- Abaddon plunges Louis’ face into the boiling oil in the fry-0-later. Vaughn abandons Louis to his fate.
23. INT. HOTEL LOBBY – EVENING
Vaughn grabs up the house phone and pages the whole resort.
24. INT. SAFE ROOM – EVENING
Gloria tells he two girls to stay put, she’s going to go get Vaughn.
25. INT. LOBBY – EVENING
Gloria finds Vaughn behind the front desk. Drags him upstairs.
26. INT. SAFE ROOM – EVENING
Everyone is in the safe room. They can’t see Abaddon on the cameras anymore Suddenly, all the lights and power goes off.
27. INT. POWER PLANT- EVENING
Abaddon is smashing all the electrical equipment to bits.
DREAD-the group realizes they have to leave and try to escape
SUSPENSE- they grab weapons and leave the safe room.
FEAR- They are making their way through the atrium.
HYSTERIA- a hand touches Evabeth and she turns to see the horribly burned face of Louis. She kills him out of fear.
RELEASE- Evabeth is relieved it wasn’t Abaddon, Suddenly, Abaddon grabs her from behind and tears out her throat.
28. EXT. DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Gloria wants to burn the SUV as a beacon. They pile anything burnable around the car and set it on fire.
29. INT. HELICOPTER – NIGHT
A firefighter and a cop in a helicopter see the flames.
30. EXT. DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Vaughn takes off his shirt and waves at the pilot. Abaddon grabs Vaughn and thrown him on the fire.
31. EXT. RESORT – NIGHT
Gloria grabs an emergency fire hose and sprays Abaddon. His hydrophobia causes his throat to spasm and he chokes to death
32. EXT. DRIVEWAY – NIGHT
Amber drags his body to the fire and rolls it into the flames.
33. INT. HELICOPTER – NIGHT
The cop misunderstands what Amber is doing with the body. He shoots Amber. She also falls onto the bonfire.
RESOLUTION – DAWN
The fire is out and smoking. Ambulances are loading up the bodies. Gloria is dazed, drained , emotionless. She looks at the woods all around the resort. A rustling in the bushes near her. She turns to see a dog with wild eyes and a slavering mouth rushing towards her as she screams.
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Hi Deborah,
I’m behind in the class, but I wonder if you’d like to exchange emails to exchange scripts later on? If so, my email is susanjsilver@yahoo.com. 🙂
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Jackson’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned: How to assemble a full outline, with horror emotions included
1: EXT—HIGH SCHOOL—MIDDAY
A line of buses awaits outside.
2: INT—HIGH SCHOOL/CLASSROOM— MIDDAY
While Students are talking after taking their final, Mr. Sapientia, their teacher walks around. Two, SAMI BURHAN and DEE BAKER are discussing DEE‘s recent arrest, while another is telling a joke at the expense of a popular girl, ERMINA EITEL, as buses are called for various field trips.
3: INT—HIGH SCHOOL/LUNCHROOM—MIDDAY
Three friends, including SAMI’s boyfriend WILL, talk about D&D and the Musical, and later, about the serial killer, to tease their friend.
Later…
A lockdown has begun, inciting the students to panic and scatter. Teachers try to maintain order and have students return to their classrooms.
4: INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
DEE and SAMI are walking towards their classroom when a teacher, shivering from the cold, walks through the halls, pursuing them, and reprimanding them for being in the halls.
5: INT—SCHOOL/CLASSROOM—DAY
As they come in, students are on their PHONES trying to find out what is going on. WILL GARCIA is worried about the coming blizzard. SAPIENTIA broadcasts the story to the PROMETHIUM BOARD, where they see a seemingly TOY WEAPON is fired, and correspondents are outside their school. It is now locked in a secure SAFE, put there by a teacher.
6:INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
EMILY WILLIAMS and ERMINA EITEL are in the hall. As EITEL enters the BATHROOM, EMILY is grabbed from behind by a TEACHER. As ERMINA walks out, the teacher has already started draining EMIlY, and flees holding EMILY prisoner.
7:INT—SCHOOL/CLASSROOM—DAY
ERMINA sprints into the classroom, quickly explaining the situation; they argue for a bit, when SAPIENTIA reaches a compromise. A blizzard warning is on the promethium board.
8: INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
Scene: Ermina and Daiyu are looking for EMILY.
Anxiety: The lockdown is in effect. They are already on edge, but more so when they hear someone approaching.
Release: They look back but no one is there.
Shock/Scare: The monster appears out of nowhere and grabs Ermina.
Panic: Ermina tries to hit the monster, and grabs Daiyu for it to consume instead.
Release: She flees, her clothes covered in DAIYU’s blood, vowing to go alone after this.
ACT II
9: INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
Sapientia and some of the others talk about if the other two have gotten back yet. Sapientia and a few others walk towards the Empty Classroom.
10: INT—SCHOOL/EMPTY CLASSROOM—DAY
Fear: The school is on lockdown. Someone is kidnapping people, seemingly at random.
Dread: They hear someone screaming in pain in the classroom.
Suspense: Mr. Sapientia walks up to investigate.
Release: They see only Emily.
Shock: Emily is the monster. The monster reaches out, and slashes Sapientia with a knife, killing him, but not absorbing their energy.
Anguish: The others hear Sapientia scream. The monster comes out, in tears, pretending to grieve to gain their trust.
Release: Emily, and the others walk away, seemingly safe from the monster.
11: INT—SCHOOL/CLASSROOM—DAY
They discuss their encounter, but thanks to the doppelgänger, they argue, and end up splitting up into groups of three or four.
12: INT—SCHOOL/EMPTY CLASSROOM—DAY
Asher, Matt, Emily, and Oscar look in the classroom, for any clues about the monster.
Fear: They know the killer is lurking somewhere.
Suspense: After being called by Emily, OSCAR approaches to a backroom slowly.
Shock: Matt finds Emily’s burned body in a closet
Scare/ Dread: They realize the monster is Emily.
Monster Reveal: The monster is a shapeshifter.
13. INT—SCHOOL/LIBRARY—DAY
They look for any books that might provide any insight, to their situation. The Doppelgänger arrives so they flee, and split up so at least one can survive.
14. INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
JOHN and NATHAN are hiding in their classroom, when OSCAR peeks in. JOHN welcomes OSCAR, and then the monster reveals itself draining JOHN NATHAN flees .
15. INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
Will bumps into Matt, who shares his story and they go to the chemistry lab together.
15a) After Will leaves with Matt, DEE and SAMI head for the security room, to check cameras, finding more information on the weapon.
16. INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
As John, the doppelgänger pursues Nathan.
17. INT—SCHOOL/CLASSROOM—DAY
Three jocks, see John, and make fun of him, until John attacks one of the jocks, killing him almost immediately, and taking his form.
The jocks chase them, until they see Asher. Up ahead.
18. INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
ERMINA walks through the halls alone, until the doppelgänger jumps her, and absorbs her current and her form.
Reveal: We see the monster, absorb their energy.
19. Asher and the jocks find ERMINA’s body. Asher tries to administer first aid while the jocks pursue on.
20: INT—SCHOOL/CLASSROOM—DAY
Three students are beating up ERMINA EITEL. NATHAN leaps to her aid, despite protest from the others. TYSON COOPER, a jock, bursts through the doors, accusing ERMINA of being a shapeshifter, and the others back him up. NATHAN switches sides, helping TYSON attempt to fight her. They are completely unprepared, and massacred, so the villain gleefully drinks all of their energy, and salvages their belongings.
21:INT—SCHOOL/OUTSIDE OF CLASSROOM—DAY
ASHER watches in horror as the students are killed.
22: INT—SCHOOL/CHEMISTRY LAB—DAY
WILL GARCIA and MATT enter to prepare tests to find out weaknesses.
23: INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
SAMI and DEE are alone. SAMI thinks he sees something, but when DEE looks they don’t see it. The monster jumps out, grabs DEE and disappears again.
ACT III
24: INT—SCHOOL/CLASSROOM—DAY
The Doppelgänger is interrogating DEE, but SAMI arrives and identifies the real SAMI by asking a question, and they escape.
25: INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
They see Asher, check his identity, and talk until they see Tyson walking, and then chasing them. They run away until they are cornered. The monster slowly advances until DEE picks the lock.
26:INT—SCHOOL/CAFETERIA—DAY
DEE, SAMI, and ASHER make it to the CAFETERIA. They see a few other students there, and they discuss the monster by the lunch counters.
27: INT—SCHOOL/CHEMISTRY LAB—DAY
Asher, Dee, and Sami, see the Doppelgänger running away Will His research lies scattered around. Sami then wants to try to rescue them Asher advises against it, and suggests meeting at the cafeteria when they’re both done.
28: INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
It proves nearly impossible to track them so they go to the security room to try to find him.
29:INT—SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
WILL escapes, and then flees. The Doppelgänger chases him to the edge of the building where the blizzard is raging outside.
30: EXT—HIGH SCHOOL—DAY
He looks out and debates going to the snow or facing the doppelgänger. He sighs and breaks his vials, scattering the glass, heated on the bunsen burner, throughout the hall. The DOPPELGÄNGER walks right through it all, and only then does Will desperately push. He walks out, followed closely by the DOPPELGÄNGER, who begins to freeze. The student bangs on a door, but the DOPPELGÄNGER catches him, kills him, and then unlocks it with a stolen teacher’s key, and enters the HALLWAY OUTSIDE THE SMALL CLASSROOM, and walks past looking for sources of warmth, muttering about the frigid air.
31: INT—HIGH SCHOOL/SECURITY ROOM—DAY
SAMI is on the computer monitoring movements, where he sees WILL’s death. Later, he sees the doppelgänger getting dangerously close to the cafeteria, and runs in to warn the others.
32. INT—HIGH SCHOOL/CAFETERIA-DAY
Scene: They discuss the monster and weapon, and make a plan.
Fear: A dead student is running towards them. He is the monster.
Release: They are closing the gate; it looks the monster will not make it.
Shock: The monster manages to grab Asher’s foot, and pull him under.
Anguish: Asher is impaled by the cafeteria gate
Horror: Asher is dead; the monster is coming for them.
Panic: The monster is past the gate. They only have one exit. People trample each other trying to get out.
Release: They manage to get out, now more than ever determined to find the weapon, but they need to lay the trap outside, and retrieve the weapon, on the opposite side of the building.
33. EXT—HIGH SCHOOL—DAY
SAMI is laying the trap, while DEE goes in. It is an overly complex rube Goldberg machine. The Doppelgänger jumps him. The trap goes off, damaging it, but SAMI nonetheless, becomes a burned corpse.
34. INT—HIGH SCHOOL/TEACHER’S LOUNGE—DAY
DEE made it. She now picks the lock, retrieves the weapon, and makes her way out.
35. INT—HIGH SCHOOL/HALLWAY—DAY
Scene: Isolated/Paranoia: Unaware that SAMI has been killed, DEE has retrieved the WEAPON, and is trying to meet up with him, who was laying a trap outside.
Fear: DEE is walking alone through the halls, the WEAPON in her pocket.
Anxiety: She is hearing strange noises, and something approaching.
Scare: When she checks it out she bumps into a figure.
Release: She stumbles away, before realizing it is just SAMI.
DEE and SAMI talk for a little bit; DEE has some doubts.
36. EXT—HIGH SCHOOL—DAY
Suspense: The audience wonders who will make the first move, as the characters take a long walk outside, after being encouraged by ‘SAMI’.
Horror: Seeing SAMI’s body, brutally murdered, she knows it is coming for her.
Suspense: DEE musters up enough courage to fire the weapon, after holding it in her quivering hand for several seconds.
37. EXT—SIDEWALK—DAY
DEE BAKER, for the first time since she met SAMI, walking home alone.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Robert Lee.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Robert Lee.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by Robert Lee.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 11 months ago by
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Chuck Czech’s Horror Outline Version 1
What I learned… assembling the script in outline form is essential prior to actually writing scenes and dialogue; I’m expecting that the writing of the script itself will be fairly pain free, provided my outline makes sense to others.
PROLOGUE
1. EXT. MINNESOTA PRAIRIE/GERMAN SETTLEMENT/CHURCH – DAY
At an 1845 German Catholic settlement, a group of churchgoers conduct a prayer procession meant to expel evil from the land. A trio of bored teenage girls break off from the group.
2. EXT. MINNESOTA PRAIRIE/TALL GRASS MAZE – DAY
The girls are stalked and killed by a Stranger amid a maze of tall prairie grass.
HORROR SITUATION: The girls’ mischief places them outside the safety of their village — they’re on their own.
APPREHENSION: One of the girls, GERTRUDE, is separated from the others and grows anxious looking for them.
SCARE: While searching, Gertrude steps on a snake, startling her.
RELEASE: Gertrude runs right into the arms of the others, who are experimenting with smoking.
CREEPY MOMENT: The wind dies and birds stop singing as the Stranger approaches.
TERROR: The Stranger strangles one of the girls, then stalks the other two among a maze of tall grass.
MONSTER REVEAL: At the moment he kills a victim, the Stranger reveals a demonic face.
ACT 1
3. EXT. RURAL HOME – DAY
The painfully shy BECCA WEAKS (10) is harshly treated by her mother when trying to protect her younger sister.
Later, an abusive COUSIN (13) tries to take advantage of Becca, but she uses the ability to disappear into an alternate dimension to hide from him — she can see him but he can’t see her.
4. EXT. ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG – DAY
BECCA (19) is now an anthropology student and participates in a university archeological dig led by professor GLENN GEISSLER. When her classmates pressure her to ask out a guy, she is compelled to hide in the alternate dimension. There, she discovers a child’s ID tag hidden underground.
5. EXT. KAY’S SUV — DAY
KAY LUND drives her two kids to school. It’s established that she’s divorced and trying to shield the kids from an abusive ex-husband. She’s also an investigator at the Sheriff’s Department and late for work.
6. INT. SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT/FILE STORAGE ROOM — DAY
Fellow investigator CAM DRURY tells Kay she just missed Dr. Geissler who dropped off the ID. Kay’s been assigned to investigate cold cases and takes an interest in the ID. She suggests to Cam there’s a pattern to the history of missing persons in this part of the state but he doesn’t buy it.
7. EXT. ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG SITE — DAY
Kay and Cam show up at the dig site looking for more information, but Becca avoids them.
8. UNIVERSITY CLASSROOM/CAMPUS GROUNDS/STUDENT UNION — DAY
Kay finds Becca on campus and drills her about how she discovered the ID tag. Becca reveals that she has the ability to disappear into an alternate dimension where hidden things are more easily found, but Kay is skeptical and demands a demonstration.
9. EXT. ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG SITE — DAY
At the now-deserted dig site, Becca demonstrates her ability to disappear into the alternate dimension. While there, she discovers a child’s buried remains.
HORROR SITUATION: Becca explores unfamiliar areas in the alternate dimension and discovers a child’s remains.
APPREHENSION: This is the first time Becca has really explored the alternate dimension; she typically uses it to hide.
CREEPY MOMENT: Becca follows a trail of footprints which are hidden in the real world.
SHOCK: Becca finds the body of a girl who went missing 30 years ago; in the alternate dimension the corpse still looks intact.
ANGUISH: Kay hears Becca screaming but can’t easily find her.
SHOCK: Becca specifies a place for Kay to dig and she unearths the girl’s skeleton.
10. EXT. ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG SITE — LATER
As law enforcement and news media pore over the location, Kay lies to her supervisor, LIEUTENANT SORENSON, about how they discovered the body; she also tells him that Becca was present because she was interested in an internship.
11. INT. KAY’S SUV — MOVING — DAY
Kay invites Becca to help with cold cases, but Becca turns her down. During the drive, Kay notices Becca dropping her pocketbook but doesn’t tell her.
12. INT. SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT — DAY
At an incident debriefing, the identity of the skeleton is identified — Anita Harms, who went missing 30 years ago. Her pediatrician was accused of murdering her but was never convicted.
13. INT. MENTAL INSTITUTION — DAY
Kay and Cam interview former pediatrician DR MARVIN LEMECH, who lives in a Catholic mental institution; though he had been implicated in several crimes 30 years ago, he says he’s not responsible.
14. INT. UNIVERSITY CLASSROOM — DAY
Dr Geissler tells Kay that Becca’s abilities are in line with what many cultures believe — that our reality is adjoined to a spirit world. He signs the internship papers but warns Kay to be careful.
15. INT. SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT/FILE STORAGE ROOM — DAY
Becca visits Kay at the Sheriff’s department to retrieve her pocketbook. Kay shows her the map of missing persons and describes the unusual history of these crimes — three missing persons every 30 years. Because the victims are the young and innocent, Becca takes an interest and signs the internship papers.
ACT 2
16. INT. FACTORY— DAY
While operating machinery, a MACHINIST exhibits paranoid behavior towards his co-workers.
17. INT. MACHINIST’S HOME — NIGHT
During a rough night of drug experimentation, the Machinist becomes possessed by a DEMON.
HORROR SITUATION: The Machinist can’t tell the difference between drug hallucinations and actual spiritual activity.
FEAR: At first the Machinist is amused by the drug’s psychedelic effects, but grows fearful when he witnesses demonic activity — strange voices, moving objects, violent porn playing over and over.
SHOCK: The Machinist comes face to face with the Demon.
DREAD: The Machinist is helpless as the Demon descends on him and possesses him.
MONSTER REVEAL: We briefly see the Demon’s actual spiritual form and what a possession really looks like.
18. EXT. CRIME SCENE #1 — DAY
Kay and Becca investigate a 30-year-old crime scene but can’t find any clues on the missing girls. Becca reveals that sinful activity leaves scars on the landscape of the alternate dimension, so hidden details of these crimes can more easily be detected there.
19. EXT. CRIME SCENE #2 — DAY
Kay develops a way to communicate with Becca while she’s in the alternate dimension using high frequency transceivers. Becca discovers a set of misshapen footprints but doesn’t say anything to Kay.
20. INT. FACTORY – DAY
The Machinist’s behavior is more extreme and insubordinate. He gets revenge on a co-worker who’s been harassing him.
21. INT. KAY’S DUPLEX – EVENING
Becca joins Kay for a home-cooked dinner with her two kids TY and TRUDIE and her duplex neighbor CHERYL. Kay and Becca share their common experiences surviving abuse — Kay fights and Becca hides.
Kay’s abusive ex-husband MITCH shows up, so Ty and Trudie take Becca to their bedroom. Becca listens through the paper-thin walls how Kay is able to stand up to Mitch.
22. EXT. QUARRY – NIGHT
The Machinist watches a group of young people cliff diving in a quarry and kidnaps one of them.
HORROR SITUATION: The young people are unaware that they’re being stalked and that one of them is being targeted.
ANXIETY: The young people dare each other to take dangerous dives into the water.
SUSPENSE: After one of them delays his return to the surface, the young woman, LEYA, wonders what exists below the surface.
RELEASE: Leya takes the plunge and is relieved and proud that it goes well.
SURPRISE: On her hike back to the summit, Leya is captured by the Machinist.
23. INT. SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT — DAY
When Sorenson announces Leya’s disappearance, Kay expresses her concern that the 30-year cycle is beginning again. Sorenson rejects the — he assigns the case to Cam and orders Kay to stick with her current caseload.
24. INT. FILE STORAGE ROOM – DAY
Kay adds a new pin into her map and realizes it matches the location of a kidnapping years ago. Based on that, she calculates the next location to investigate, which happens to be in a different county.
25. INT. ROADHOUSE — NIGHT
When they explore a busy roadhouse, Becca encounters the Demon in possession of the Machinist, who is in the process of selecting the next victim.
HORROR SITUATION: Becca’s exploration of the alternate dimension reveals it to be far more complex and dangerous than she’s previously experienced.
CREEPY MOMENT: When in the alternate dimension, Becca sees many scars on the landscape, and she perceives ghostly spiritual beings feeding off the roadhouse patrons.
MONSTER REVEAL: Becca sees the Demon in possession of the Machinist; it ignores her, apparently not recognizing her as a threat.
SUSPENSE: Becca watches the Demon browse the crowd of potential victims — who will it select?
PANIC: When the Demon targets an innocent young woman, EVE, Becca decides to intervene by shoving the Demon.
MONSTER REVEAL: Contact between a person and a demon in the spirit world causes great pain to both.
TERROR: The Demon detaches from the Machinist and chases Becca. Kay tries to question the Machinist, but is attacked by him.
MONSTER REVEAL: The Demon can link and unlink from an individual, but it takes a bit of time.
26. EXT. CUL-DE-SAC — NIGHT
Unaware of the demonic activity, Eve’s boyfriend KEV drives her to a lonely cul-de-sac where they are both killed by the Machinist.
HORROR SITUATION: Kev confronts the Machinist unaware that he’s way out of his league.
APPREHENSION: Kev is an abuser and as he threatens Eve, the Machinist arrives, whom Kev also threatens.
SHOCK: The Machinist brutally kills Kev.
DREAD: Eve has nowhere to go as the Machinist turns his attention to her.
27. INT. ROADHOUSE — NIGHT
Having escaped the attacks by the Demon and the Machinist, Becca and Kay determine to look for Eve, who had departed with her boyfriend during the confrontation.
28. EXT. KAY’S SUV/CUL-DE-SAC — NIGHT
During their search, Becca complains about pain in the hand that touched the Demon. She gets the feeling the Demon is nearby and directs Kay to drive into the dark cul-de-sac. They discover Kev’s mutilated body but no Eve.
29. EXT. CUL-DE-SAC — LATER
The site has been roped off as a crime scene by local law enforcement, and Becca watches Kay interact with the local sheriff, looking a little less sure of herself.
30. INT. SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT/SORENSON’S OFFICE — DAY
Sorenson is peeved that his least experienced investigator was involved in an altercation and murder in another county. He dissolves Becca’s internship and reassigns Kay to desk duty.
Exiting the meeting, Kay tries to makes plans with Becca but Becca says the internship’s suspension might be for the best. She refuses a ride home, saying she has plans of her own.
31. EXT. CHURCH GRAVEYARD — NIGHT
In a remote church graveyard, the possessed Machinist buries Eve’s body and slides a stone on top as if to make sure she’ll stay put.
32. INT. FILE STORAGE ROOM – NIGHT
Kay adds another pin to her map but this time can’t predict where the next kidnapping will occur. She phones the mental institution.
33. INT. MENTAL INSTITUTION — NIGHT
Kay meets with Lemech, who agrees to talk under one condition — that he’s not removed from the mental institution for any reason. Lemech explains that 30 years ago he killed Anita Harms, and afterwards was possessed by a demon, which drove him to kidnap and kill the three missing girls. Ever since, he’s been living in this religious building as protection.
He says that for decades the perpetrator of these crimes is an ancient Demon bound to this region. European settlers tried driving it from the land, so it retaliated by taking innocent victims from each generation of their descendants.
Kay wants to know where the Demon is taking the victims, but Lemech refuses to say more.
34. INT. SHERIFF’S OFFICE — DAY
Kay pleads with Sorenson to prevent Lemech from being removed from the mental institution, but Sorenson says she’s too late — a deputy is already on his way to pick up Lemech for his arraignment on Anita’s murder.
35. INT. DEPUTY’S VEHICLE — DAY
Lemech, handcuffed and clutching a rosary, nervously rides away from the mental institution. He sees ghostly figures hiding in the shadows outside the vehicle.
36. INT. COUNTY JAIL — DAY
As Lemech is admitted into jail he’s forced to relinquish his rosary. The Demon watches while perched on the ceiling.
Kay tries to talk to Lemech before he’s locked in a cell. Knowing he’s vulnerable, Lemech asks Kay to arrange for a priest to take his confession in exchange for more information. Kay insists he’ll be safe inside a jail.
A brusque JAILER cuts their conversation short, and the only information Lemech can convey is the word “Bern”.
37. INT. UNIVERSITY CLASSROOM — DAY
Kay consults with Dr. Geissler, who’s now fearful over the recent murder and kidnappings. Kay pressures him, and the only thing he could think of is a 19th century pioneer settlement called Bern.
38. INT. INTERCUT COFFEE SHOP & COUNTY JAIL — NIGHT
Intercutting between Lemech’s cell and a coffee shop where Becca is on a first date, we witness the Demon possess the Jailer, who then kills Lemech, which in turn triggers a hysterical reaction by Becca.
HORROR SITUATION: Because she touched the Demon at the roadhouse, Becca is now sensitive to its murderous activity.
DREAD: Believing he’s doomed, Lemech goes through with his confession to a PRIEST.
SURPRISE: The Demon now possesses the Jailer.
MONSTER REVEAL: The Demon can take over any hate-filled person as its pawn.
SHOCK: The Jailer brutally kills Lemech
HYSTERIA: Sensing Lemech’s execution, Becca goes into hysterics during her date.
39. INT. COUNTY JAIL — NIGHT
Kay arrives to find Lemech’s corpse. She surreptitiously picks up his rosary from the Jailer’s office.
40. INT. LIBRARY — NIGHT
Kay tears through old maps to find Bern’s location and transposes it to her GPS. She calls Becca, who’s devastated from her tragic date, and they both agree to root out the evil that’s been plaguing the region.
41. EXT. BERN — DAY
Kay and Becca follow the coordinates to a remote part of the state where they discover the ruins of an old church — the one from the prologue. While searching in the alternate dimension, Becca discovers scores of victims buried beneath slabs of granite.
HORROR SITUATION: Becca and Kay make a shocking discovery while they’re on hostile ground and isolated and vulnerable.
ANXIETY: Becca senses they’re on to something big and is nervous about searching the grounds.
SHOCK: Becca is confronted with dozens of bodies which, in her vision, are all preserved in their original state.
REVEAL: Becca, psychically connected to the Demon, understands its overarching intent — it take three victims, one for every day Christ was in the tomb, and buries them so they could never rise again. It’s a mockery of God.
DREAD: They find the fresh graves of Leya and Eve next to an open grave — there’s still one more murder in this cycle.
42. EXT. GRAIN ELEVATOR — NIGHT
While on their way to meet local law enforcement, Kay and Becca are run off the road by the Machinist, who traps Kay and assaults Becca.
HORROR SITUATION: The Demon turns the tables — it now pursues Kay and Becca, rather than them looking for it.
APPREHENSION: Kay and Becca are on edge because they’ve just penetrated the Demon’s secret hideout.
SURPRISE: The Machinist runs Kay off the road, damaging her SUV, which comes to a stop at an abandoned grain elevator.
SUSPENSE: The Machinist circles their disabled vehicle, revealing he has the THIRD VICTIM with him, then parks out of sight behind the elevator.
REVEAL: It appears the Demon is making this personal.
SHOCK: When Kay tries to confront the Machinist, he traps her in an underground grain pit.
TERROR: The Machinist chases Becca, who escapes into the alternate dimension — where the Demon chases her — so she returns to the real world right into the hands of the Machinist.
HYSTERIA: The Machinist assaults Becca before Kay escapes the pit and chases it off with her gun.
43. INT. HOSPITAL/EMERGENCY — NIGHT
Kay brings Becca to an emergency room. She’s barred from seeing her.
44. INT. HOSPITAL/PATIENT ROOM — DAY
Kay tries to visit Becca, but Becca isn’t receiving any visitors.
ACT 3
45. EXT. BERN — DAY
Several law enforcement agencies are involved in the exhumation of the Demon’s victims, including the FBI. It’s a complicated operation, with Kay at the center.
46. INT. SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT/INTERROGATION ROOM — DAY
TWO FBI AGENTS quiz Kay on how she found the bodies, and she tells them the truth — Becca is psychic. Questioning Kay’s state of mind, Sorenson orders Kay to work with him to file a report and then take some time off.
47. INT. FACTORY/MACHINIST’S APARTMENT/ROADHOUSE — DAY
Cam is seen working with FBI agents trying to track the Machinist.
48. INT. BECCA’S CHILDHOOD HOME — DAY
Kay drops in on Becca, who’s now living miles away with her abusive mother. Becca says that she’s free from the Demon’s reach way out here. She admits defeat — sometimes evil can’t be stopped and we need to learn to live with it.
49. INT. KAY’S HOME — DAY
Given that perspective, Kay goes home and gives love to her two kids.
50. INT. BECCA’S CHILDHOOD HOME — DAY
While going through a storeroom, Kay finds old toys and is reminded of the sister she lost years ago. She tries the alternate dimension one more time.
While there, she challenges herself to psychically connect with the Demon and learns that his next intended victim is Kay’s daughter Trudie.
She can’t reach Kay on the phone, so she reaches out to Cam — who doesn’t believe her but promises to check on her.
Though she doesn’t know how to drive, Becca commandeers her mom’s pickup and heads toward Kay.
51. EXT. KAY’S HOME — NIGHT
Cam stakes out Kay’s duplex, making sure she’s safe, but falls prey to the Machinist.
HORROR SITUATION: Cam thinks he has everything under control but is caught off guard.
APPREHENSION: While watching Kay’s home, Cam notices someone else doing the same — Mitch. Cam shines a flashlight on him, which chases him away.
SURPRISE: The Machinist appears out of nowhere and kills Cam.
52. INT. KAY’S HOME — NIGHT
The Demon invades Kay’s home to kill Trudie. Kay and Cheryl have to team up to fend him off, using their survivors’ wits.
HORROR SITUATION: Kay and Trudie survive one close call after another but ultimately find themselves at the mercy of the Demon.
SHOCK: The Machinist tricks Trudie into unlocking the front door by flashing Cam’s disembodied head through the peephole.
FEAR: The Machinist stands between Kay and her pistol, which means she has to defend her family without a weapon.
REVEAL: The Machinist allows Ty to escape through a window, signaling that the Demon is solely focused on Trudie.
DREAD: Using demonic power, the Machinist slams shut all the doors and windows and pops all the light bulbs, effectively trapping Kay and Trudie inside.
PANIC: When burning popcorn sets off the duplex’s sprinklers, Kay uses the moment of confusion to retreat with Trudie into the bedroom.
TERROR: Kay barricades the bedroom door; the Machinist begins beating it down.
SUSPENSE: Kay kicks a hole in the wall as an escape route — will they make it to Cheryl’s side of the duplex before the Machinist breaks into the room?
RELEASE: Trudie squeezes through the hole and into the hands of Cheryl on her side of the duplex.
ANGUISH: The Machinist immediately stops its attack and leaves for Cheryl’s duplex. On her way to Cheryl’s, Kay grabs her pistol and Lemech’s rosary.
HYSTERIA: Kay hears scream inside Cheryl’s home but is unable to penetrate the front door — the Machinist has it sealed from the inside; powerless, Kay is on the verge of hysteria.
RELEASE: Kay discovers that if she wraps the rosary around her hand she can weaken the Demon’s power and open the door.
PANIC: Kay stumbles in to find the Machinist levitating Cheryl, about to kill her; Kay shoots the Machinist, who drops Cheryl but is not impaired by the bullets.
DREAD: The Machinist turns to focus on Kay, revealing a demonic visage.
SHOCK: Kay shoots the Machinist in the face, but being possessed, he keeps going.
TERROR: Through demonic power, the Machinist smashes Kay into the ceiling several times, causing her to drop the pistol and the rosary; the Machinist spins to Trudie and is about to kill her.
RELEASE: Becca appears at the door; she picks up the rosary and disappears into the alternate dimension.
PANIC: Though it causes intense pain, Becca attacks the Demon and wraps the rosary around its throat; the Demon releases the Machinist from its grip and falls to the ground, stunned.
TERROR: Kay comes to her senses and fires a death shot through the Machinist’s heart.
RELEASE: Becca reappears in the real world, mortally wounded; after saying her goodbyes, she dies.
As Kay, Trudie and Cheryl mourn Becca’s passing, they hear someone coming up the sidewalk and through the front door — Mitch, leading Ty by the hand.
SHOCK: Mitch suddenly grabs Ty and threatens to kill him; his face takes on an evil countenance.REVEAL: The Demon has possessed Mitch.
SUSPENSE: Kay wants to shoot Mitch but can’t for fear of injuring Ty.
RELEASE: Mitch suddenly drops Ty and writhes in pain.
MONSTER REVEAL: In the alternate dimension, the Demon is powerless against the resurrected spirit of Becca; she punishes the Demon to an inch of its life and causes it to flee.
RELEASE: In the real world, Mitch drops unconscious; Kay rolls him out the door and locks it; she gathers her family and Cheryl together and remarks that Becca was the one victim who resurrected.
53. NEWS REPORTS
A montage of news reports describe the numerous funerals following the recovery of the long-lost bodies.
54. EXT. CEMETERY
The Priest presides over a small memorial service for Becca — including Kay and her children, Cheryl (bandaged), Sorenson and some of Becca’s classmates. Kay remarks that Becca hasn’t really died and will always watch over them.
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