-
Lesson 5
Reply to post your assignment.
-
1 Reply
-
Jan’s ACT 4 & 5
WIL: even while speed writing I realized the my act structure was incorrect. I could shove certain elements to EP 102 and keep the Pilot shorter yet entertaining. And I found through this even a better and more introducing end for the main character.
ACT 4: BRAWL & SEX
EXT. LAKE DISTRICT – HIGHWAY – DAY
DRONE:
Oliver’s rented car in a nice landscape of the Lake District.
SOUND ONLY: CAR DOOR IS SHUT, STEPS WALKING AWAY
INT. GOYATZ POLICE STATION – DAY
Oliver approaching the high bar with police officer behind it.
OLIVER
Hi. My name is Oliver Wind, son of Harry Wind.
Oliver takes out his military ID and puts it next to the PoA.
OLIVER
Who had a lethal accident three days ago in the Yacht Club.
POLICE OFFICER 1
(looks Oliver up and down)
And you are here for a war or so?
Oliver had these looks all day long, inhales to stay calm.
OLIVER
I flew in this morning. From Afghanistan.
POLICE OFFICER 1
From … the War Afghanistan?
OLIVER
Yes. And I would like to talk to the officer in charge about the accident.
The Officer looks the military ID
POLICE OFFICER 1
We don’t see these here often… actually iT’s the first I see ever. Don’t you have some different document? Like personal ID?
OLIVER
We don#t carry other IDs in war zones as amatter fo fact.
Officer looks into PoA.
POLICE OFFICER 1
Hmh….Hmh. This PoA is for your morthers business not your fathers. I doubt oit s valid for this case.
OLIVER
(inhales again)
My mother passed this morning. You can check with Cottbus homicide. Would actually be good, cause they don’t know about my fathers passing.
As my mother was the only widow of my father means i am in charge now, right?
That is too much of information at the same time. The police officer walks away.
POLICE OFFICER 1
Please wait.
TIME CUT:
POLICE OFFICER 2
That sounds unusual
OLIVER
Sir, is that a question?
POLICE OFFICER 2
Yes.
OLIVER
Which part? Sounds or unusual?
POLICE OFFICER 2
Sir, can we please stay civlized and polite.
OLIVER
Look. I heard all day I need a PoA, here it is. Please, I request …. Politely .. to know if this authorises me to hear details of my fathers accident. Do I?
POLICE OFFICER 2
We don’t know you. But probably yes.
OLIVER
Have you been here 18 years ago?
POLICE OFFICER 2
No
OLIVER
You?
POLICE OFFICER 1
No
OLIVER
See. I have left 18 years ago. Until then I was here with my parents almost every day. Therefoer it has no meaning. What do you know about the accident?
POLICE OFFICER 2
It was an accident. I don’t want sound rude but the club was closed , your father slipped, fell, entangled with the ladder, drowned.
OLIVER
That is what#s on file?
POLICE OFFICER 2
Indeed
OLIVER
Would you please write down for me who and where I can find the prosecutor in charge. and the morgue where my father is.
POLICE OFFICER 2
Prosecutor? Why?
OLIVER
Because I want to file and request for and autopsy.
POLICE OFFICER 2
Ok. But there was nothing, juzst an accident.
He pulls his military ID again out,
OLIVER
I understand your point of view. and it s nothing personal guys
shows the officer a detail.
OLIVER
See this. I am police too. We are kind of colleagues, and I have a differnt point of view.
Officer 1 hands Oliver a piece of paper.
POLICE OFFICER 2
We are not colleagues. From what I know you are managing traffic and check that soldiers go to bed without being drunk.
OLIVER
Thank you (turns) Like you manage traffic and check pubs closing on time, right?
Oliver leaves
OLIVER
Only that you do not manage one hundred percent educated killers.
Please give the morgue a notice in writing that I will be back tomorrow.
EXT./ INT. CAR/ LAKE DISTRICT -View at SHIPYARD – SUNSET / BLUE HOUR
Oliver drives by the lake. He stops the car.
On the opposite lakeside there is the yact club and the shipyard.
Oliver just stares. Other pictures in his head than what he sees. No tears.
Suddenly he opens the door and vomits.
Oliver gets out of the car and starts kicking and fighting trees.
INT. CAR – NIGHT
Oliver punches in a number into his smart phone, szarts dring.
PETRA
Homicide Cottbus, Miller speaking.
OLIVER
Oliver Wind here. Where can we meet?
PETRA
So you found authorisation?
OLIVER
Yes, Power of attorney, notarized. I would like you hand me the keys to the families house.
PETRA
So it’s not a crime scene anymore? Like to hear that.
OLIVER
It’s a crime scene more tahn ever, and I am happy to fill you in.
PETRA
We can meet tomorrow. I am out to a different crime scene, a real one. Tomnorrow ten in the police Headqueter, homicide, 2nd floor.
OLIVER
No, I would like to …
PETRA
Other than you, I am working, not hallucinating. Towmorrow , ten
Hangs up on him.
EXT. CAR RENTAL COTTBUS – NIGHT
Oliver throws the carkeys into the night-box, picks up his backpack.
Oliver walks tired and angry, ponders his options. He triggers his earpiece.
OLIVER
(into headset)
Hey, show me options of simple hotels nearby
Oliver pulls the phone and looks on the map.
Oliver turns and walks inot a side street. Walks.
Oliver sees a nightlife pub BACK SALON.
OLIVER
BACK SALON, really.
INT. BACK SALON – NIGHT
Oliver finds himself among a few guests, attempts to calm down after this tumultuous day.
Oliver sits at a table across the bar. A glass of beer on the table.
Marie 26ish, attractive, tattooed on one arm, walks over checks from the bar, sees that Oliver’s glass is almost empty.
MARIE
Another one, soldier?
OLIVER
Yes, in uniform two beer rule is one.
MARIE
Sure thing, tank beer is coming.
New guests arrive, walk past Marie and greet.
TOUGH GUY 1
Whats up, Marie? Half empty tonight.
MARIE
It football tonight. And we have no streamer.
TOUGH GUY 1
Four tanks on my neck.
MARIE
Coming
The four guys begin to play of dart, having fun.
In one corner three guys are in an excited debate
In one booth a guy is heavily working to impress his target for the night.
Oliver takes it all in, he shakes his head from time to time, obviously thinking about stuff.
The dart guys squeak. A dart arrow glides over the floor, stops near to Oliver’s foot.
TOUGH GUY 1
Sorry man, sergeant. It bumped backwards
OLIVER
No problem, things happen.
Tough guy walks back, they play.
Oliver watches how one guy throws towards the dart and another one thorws his hiddenly backwards.
Another guy walks to Oliver.
TOUGH GUY 2
Sorry, again it bumped.
OLIVER
Yes sometimes a dartboard seem the be ffull of metal.
TOUGH GUY 2
You wanna play with us?m It’s one beer per round only.
OLIVER
Tht’s kind. But no,,was a long day.
TOUGH GUY 2
Goz it must back to the barracks
OLIVER
Yes, no. Kinda
TOUGH GUY 2
Yes, no, kind of. You don’t want to talk to me right.
OLIVER
I’m just tired.
TOUGH GUY 2
Hey guys, he is tired talking to me. While I am paying for his uniform, his gun and his pay check.
TOUGH GUY 1
Really, that’s arrogant, isn’t it.
The other three walk back from the dart to Oliver.
TOUGH GUY 2
Look, we pay taxes for you, sitting in your barrack, playing with war toys and rocking your balls.
Oliver gets up
OLIVER
I believe you talking to the wrong soldier. I left a war zone yesterday afzernoon. As said I am not arrongant just tired
TOUGH GUY 2
You left a war zone? Uhhh no I am afraid of you. what are you doing in a war zone?
Oliver puts out a hand to find a space to walk towards the bar.
OLIVER
My team and i watch and protect other soldiers serving in Afghanistan.
TOUGH GUY 1
Protecting other soldiers. Sounds like a luxury job.
OLIVER
Would you mind?m Please.
He waves for Marie
OLIVER
I’ll check out my tab.
Marie comes closer
TOUGH GUY 2
You re turning your back on me? That’ll cost you.
Marie put another 8 beer on his tab, the soldier wants to say sorry for being respectles.
Oliver doesn’t turn
OLIVER
No the major doesn’t invite these gentlemen.
Now he turns.
OLIVER
In respect of respect. Have one of you served in the army? Anyone a reservist?
TOUGH GUY 2
No.We are not part of your fucked up country. We don’t accept this, we have our own Reich. And own army.
Oliver dawns who he ois talking to.
OLIVER
Got it. I Got it. So who is the highest rank of you?
Looks at Tough Guy 2. He doesn’t answer.
TOUGH GUY 3
I am, soldier.
OLIVER
Ok, what are your men calling you?
TOUGH GUY 3
Sergeant Major.
OLIVER
Right. Sergeant Major. I request you make your men listen to you.
I am Major of the military police, 2. Greandier Batallion, actually in charge as A NATO Response Care.
We are the bad guys watching over the good guys. We are taking the trash out when we need to.
Now tell your men to step back, let me pay, end this useless provocative conversation and then we walk in two different directions. And nothing happened.
Tough Guy 3 looks embarressed but amused
TOUGH GUY 3
Is there a plan B to it?
Oliver knows, he can’t himself out smoothly.
OLIVER
Marie? Marie was it right?
MARIE
Yep
OLIVER
Would you mind to have my backpack? I am travelling light. And I don’t want my toothbrush demolished.
TOUGH GUY 2
You might not need a toothbrush for a while.
OLIVER
(to tough Gouy 3)
You want Plan B described in detail or is a breif description enough
TOUGH GUY 3
Enough
OLIVER
All four of you will be fucked up, and no one of you will make it alone to the hospital.
Now lets get outside or I will charge you afterwards for everything inside that you broke.
The guys look at each other. Yes. That will be fun.
Oliver hands his backpack over and rips in the last moment one of the zippers open and pulls out a Tonfa.
With his back to the bar he faces all four guys.
OLIVER
Now would be the best time to end this.
TOUGH GUY 3
Yes Major, special forces shit. But we want to finish it our way, guys.
And of we go. Two gyus attack Oliver, he responds by hitting bone against the throat, backing the other uys arm, kick against his ankle. He turns and twist, away from the bar, breaks the third guys arm and facing Tough Guy 3
OLIVER
Again, you are still up and could drive them to the hospital.
Tough Guy 3 grabs a bottle from the bar and breaks it. One other gets up.and Attacks too. Oliver throughs TG 3 over, unrests his arm and falls with the bottle into TG2. Done.Up Again there ios one left who is like a ragging bull. Oliver stops him with the Tonfa, not hitting yet.
Mistake the other guy keft over attcks from behingd and strikes Oliver arm wuth a knife.
Oliver has enough, briefly looks at his arm and unwinds 4-5 fast kick, hits and moves. Done.
Oliver kneels down and empties the pockets of TG3 and TG2, no other weapons. He grabs a couple of bills all hundreds out of their pockets. hands them to MArie
OLIVER
For the broken stuff. I’ll keep one, my sand jacket needs to see a seamstress.
And you guys out. Or want another round on my dance card.
Marie looks over the bar
MARIE
Or I call 110. Even better.
The other guests leave as inconspicuous as possible
MARIE
Not you, you may stay.
LOVERBOY
Thank you. But no thank you.
He drags his girl outside.
The Tough Guys have left, everybody else too.
Marie passes Oliver, heading for the door
MARIE
And I complain we have no streamer tv?
We have live action.
END OF ACT 4
ACT 5
Marie locks the door and returns. Oliver packs the Tonfa back into his back pack.
MARIE
You are one of the bad guys. Fuck
OLIVER
Is there a small hotel nearby you would recommend?
MARIE
Yes. But let me look at your amr first.
TIME CUT:
Marie sits behind Oliver and putting some med on his wound. Oliver Tee is ripped open at the arm, covered with blood. He is not a muscle guy but very well trained, sleak. What we see scars and some tattoes.
OLIVER
…. I arrived last night in Germany, this morning in this town. Mhhh -grins his teeth. –
Marie continues to bandage his upper arm.
MARIE
Hurts a lot?
OLIVER
Yes. A lot is different.
Marie locks eyes with Oliver.
MARIE
Go on, starnger.
OLIVER
I arrive this morning. … And if I tell you everything what happened since, you wouldn’t want sex with me.
Marie doesn’t stop
MARIE
Do I want sex with you?
OLIVER
From what I see
…
MARIE
Actually, yes.
OLIVER
So you wount give ma a suggestion for a Hotel nearby?
MARIE
No
OLIVER
Seriously ?
MARIE
Yes
Marie finishes lousiliy the bandage, comes up and turns in for a kiss
INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT
Oliver and Marie bump through the door already kissing
…. and wildly into each others undressing
Marie bumps into the fresh bandaged wound which makes Oliver groan.
MARIE
Don’t be such a pussy
OLIVER
I forgot, your the pussy
On they go, they engage in a passionate and wild encounter of sex,
Finding joy and temporary solace in each other’s arms.
INT. APARTMENT – MARIE – NIGHT
After their encounter. Marie naked has he head on Olivers chest, purring like a cat.
MARIE
How long did you say you had no sex.
OLIVER
Four, four and half month.
MARIE
Can we do that in the morning again
OLIVER
(smiles)
Guess so.
MARIE
(sleeping away)
Mhmmm.
OLIVER
So you still wount suggest a hotel nearby?
MARIE
Nooo wayyy
Marie sleeps. …..Oliver does not fall asleep. …..He looks at the ceiling. …..He dims the lights.
He is restless. Oliver walks up and down the room.
He gets dressed, about to leave the apartment. Too late, the attack is on it’s way.
OLIVER
We have to wait for the morning, Mum.
Oliver manages to sit in an armchair next to the bed. His hands start to tremble.
Oliver tries to be silent, his arms and knees, then his head and neck, everything trembles, goes out of control.
Oliver looks at the ceiling, bites not to make noise. The pictures come back. Flashy. Several. No story , just anecdotes of his soldier life, watching others die.
Soldier 1(scene 1, shot 1) with his canteen, the semi armoured truck exploding, Soldier 1 in his arms.
END OF PILOT
Log in to reply.