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Lesson 7
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I went through the key points outline drafted and submitted earlier this week and found that I have a balance between my hero (10) and villain (11). The actions/conflicts begin in Act IIB (action rises to a climax) and Act III (resolution.) Overall happy with my draft outline. My movie is not an action picture – more like adventure but serious action to bring it along. The adventures are from real people, the romance is real people. The settings and conflicts are invented to make a good yarn.
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Natalie’s Map Out Your Story
WIL: Improvements keep falling into grace, as I continue Hal’s lessons. It’s getting much clear and better, story-wise, with the new additions and characters’ journey. I had no time to condense, read through, or edit this, just wrote as I see things come to play. I did spend some lovely time reaserching Ferris Wheel operation and potential malfunctions, which made me believe that I can pull this off successfully. I do like where this is going, but, still, admittedly, it’s a ginormic mess.
OPENING
Action 1. Brie navigates her car in the busy parking lot under duress for being late for her chaperone duty at her son’s Halloween Trick or Treat field trip she helped organize.
Villain 1. Cooper, Brie’s husband, scolds her for always being poorly organized, making bad choices in her life, and not helping him to influence her father’s decision to sell the land. Sarah, Brie’s teen daughter from a previous marriage, records their fight for amusement.
Mission 1. Numerous TV reporters tape local community folks picketing by the entrance to the fair in protest against demolishing the fair and building large commercial strip on its grounds.
Villain 2. Cooper is appalled by the situation, stating that Turner, Brie’s father, will sell the land one way or another. Cooper will build a high scale shopping strip on this land. It’s a done deal.
Mission 2. Brie argues that the value of the fairground, where she grew up, is more important to the local community then a shopping mall. Cooper argues opposite values, then leaves, mad. Fed up with Cooper’s attitude toward her mother, Sarah, Brie’s teen daughter, takes off to the fair by herself, leaving Brie on her own with her 7 y.o. son, Liam. Now Brie has no help she was counting on. She quickly grabs her bag, and asks Liam to behave and stay close.
Villain . Cooper, caught by a camera man, throws a few words in support of building new commercial plaza for the benefits of the community, while cutting through the crowd.
Action . Brie follows Cooper, wishes him good luck and asks him to meet her at the Trick or Treat grounds where she’ll be the whole day with Liam and his group. Cooper just walks away.
Mission Brie joins a group of Liam’s classmates and their moms, and leads them toward a dedicated area, explaining the agenda, layout of the rides, and safety rules.
INCITING INCIDENT
Villain . Cooper meets Turner in his office to finalize the deal. But, influenced by community support against the acquisition, Turner refuses to sell his land. Outraged, Cooper threatens with severe consequences, including legal actions, if need be, etc., and storms out.
Mission Brie tries to manage Liam’s behavior, who demands letting him go on his favorite Ferris Wheel ride, because Grandpa always brings him there. Brie explains that he has to wait for the Grand Opening later in the day.
Villain . Cooper makes a call to Ari, his business partner with a questionable ethics, and learns that his men are on the way to ensure that the deal goes through as planned.
Mission . Brie talks to the children about the rides, asking them to stay within dedicated area to ensure safety and most fun on their Trick or Treat hunt. Let the frenzy begin!
Villain . Cooper delivers news to Brie about her father’s decision and tells her to make amends with her father, whatever it takes to convince him stick with the deal, for his own interest, above all.
END OF ACT ONE – FIRST TURNING POINT
Action . Brie reminds Cooper that her father hasn’t spoken to her since the accident due to her ex’s negligence, where she tried to help them both. So, no, she won’t get involved again. They argue and Brie asks Cooper if he’s deliberately trying to sabotage her father’s integrity for his own financial gain. Cooper threatens with the divorce, and walks away.
Mission . Turner joins protesters, and is approached by a reporter for an interview. He reluctantly agrees – he’s not much of a spokes person, but, the crowd cheers in support. They truly love him.
Villain . Cooper meets Ronnie, Brie’s ex, the father of her kids, and Phil, Ronnie’s buddy, a rugged looking man. Ronnie offers to take down Turner, but Cooper wants to destroy him in more effective and painful way by tampering with his pride, a newly refurbished Ferris Wheel. A tragedy of this magnitude will devalue the land, hence, more profits. It will collapse tonight at its grand opening.
Action . Cooper sends the two henchmen to work out the details, and heads toward the protesters. He waits for a camera man finish taping Turner’s now full blown pro-fair speech, then calls him aside and bribes him to make a video blog about Ferris Wheel grand opening, his prized possession after all.
Mission . Brie supervises overly excited children having fun playing games, running around in search for the hidden treats. Seeing his mother destructed, Liam sneaks away. Brie realizes he is missing, may be gone to his Grandpa, and asks another chaperone to keep the children safe while she’s looking for her disobedient son.
Action Sarah wonders around, recording everything she finds useful for her video blog.
MID-POINT
Villain . Cooper follows the camera man filming folks on the rides, all while giving him inside info of the cost for refurbishing old rides vs undeniable value of a commercial strip, – for the safety and growing needs of local community.
Villain Phil approaching the Ferris Wheel, as if to adore its enormity. He spots Cooper, exchange meaningful, silent glances, then initiates a conversation with Jordan, a maintenance guy, sitting bored inside the steamy hot operating booth by the Ferris Wheel.
Action Sarah, two ice cream cones in her hands, approaches the booth, then stops short seeing Jordan showing control panel to Phil. She asks a girl to hold her ice creams for a second, and videotapes Phil and Jordan. Phil notices Jordan’s shy motion, follows his gaze, and tells him to go have fun with his girl. It’s ok, he used to be young himself He’ll watch the booth for Jordan, it’s too hot in the sun anyway, – as long as Jordan returns in time for the grand opening to start the Ferris Wheel.
Action Jordan takes off his employee’s jacket, thanks Phil for being so kind, and takes off.
Villain Phil watches Jordan and Sarah evaporate into the crowd, then puts Jordan’s jacket on. He glances around, then fishes out an elongated box, wrapped into a dark clothes, and studies the control panel.
Villain Ronnie picks the lock to the electrical room, – it gives. He pauses, hearing fast approaching footsteps.
Mission . Brie rushes by toward her father’s office, but gets tripped and dragged inside the electrical room.
Action . Shocked to see Ronnie, Brie tries to figure out why he’s at the fair, after been disgracefully discharged by her father. She navigates questions to extract the truth, all while progressing toward the door.
Villain 1. Ronnie blocks her way out, and leans against the door. He brags about being clean for awhile, and that he’ll have his own decent place soon. He wants his visitation rights restored, otherwise, he’ll involve lawyers. He has friends in high places now, – anything goes to destruct Brie.
SECOND TURNING POINT AT THE END OF ACT 2
Action . Brie says that Liam maybe at the office and she needs to get him back. Ronnie attacks Brie, clutching her neck in his grip, – she won’t trick him again. This time, he wins, and they lose, big time. Too bad she won’t see the grand shebang. He pushes Brie aside, opens the breaker box, and switches one breaker off. Brie gets up and jumps at Ronnie, trying to turn the breaker back on. Ronnie grabs her by her neck, and cracks her head at the door – hard. She collapses onto the ground. He checks her neck for a pulse, then steps over her body, and locks the door behind his back. He stands outside, staring at the giant Ferris Wheel, now drowning in darkness by the sound of stampede, and panic screams.
Action Inside a cabin of the Ferris Wheel, Sarah and Jordan stop making out as the lights go off. Sarah grabs her phone and starts recording, a bit worried about getting down. Jordan reassures her that someone will fix it soon, it’s the grand opening after all, but he’ll lose his job if someone finds them up there. Sarah keeps recording the commotion below. She sees Cooper.
Action Cooper pushes through the anxious fairgoers, making way for the camera man as they head toward spectators surrounding someone hysterical, in distress. Cooper peeks to check the commotion, feeling a sudden bump from behind. He turns to find Liam, eyes wide open with fear. Cooper grabs Liam by his shoulders, scolding him for running away from his mom. And where the hell is she anyway?
Mission Brie comes to, and gets up, disoriented. She pries the door, – to no avail. She wobbles toward the breaker box and pushes the breaker back up. She spots a tiny window below the ceiling. She folds onto a desk, pulls her feet up and climbs on top of the desk. She stands up on the desk, and grabs onto a top of the cabinet, struggling to pull herself up, near losing balance.
Action Turner grabs Conner by his arm squeezing it hard until he releases his stepson. Conner yanks Turner’s hands off of him, near starting the fist fight, but stops realizing multiple phone cameras pointing at his face.
Action Jordan and Sarah watch from above her stepdad and grandpa’s confrontation as she records it. Jordan decides to climb down so he can make it in time for the opening, assuring Sarah that no-one will even notices her when her cabin gets down. All she needs to do is just get off and mingle with the crowd.
Mission Brie spreads her legs wide trying to distribute her weight evenly over the cabinet’s ramshackle surface. She grabs an empty metal wire spool, and launches it at the window, breaking its glass into shards. She struggles to squeeze through a narrow opening, cutting herself as she does.
She pulls herself out and falls, landing onto bushes, then bounces onto the rocks, screaming at a sound of cracking bones.
Villain Ronnie breaks through the crowd sand discovers his son next to Turner.
Mission Brie, torn in two directions by the pain, pulls herself together. She glances at the dark windows of the office, holds her lifeless arm with her other arm for support, then limps dragging her swollen ankle toward the Ferris Wheel standing bright and tall in a glory of the multitudes of lights.
Action Cooper peels Liam off of Grandpa to get him to his mom, but the boy bites Cooper’s hand. Ronnie steps forward to hug his son, but Liam screams and leaches his hand into Grandpa’s hand. Cooper tells Ronnie to get lost. Ronnie squeezes his fists, spits, then backs away. Turner turns away from Cooper, announces the opening ceremony and lets Liam lead the crowd toward the Ferris Wheel.
Villain Cooper experiences a second of conflicting emotions, then regroups, spots the camera man, and pulls him away from the Ferris Wheel assuring he knows a better spot for filming the ceremony.
Action Sarah spots Ronnie, her biological dad, and Phil striding away from the Ferris Wheel, confused about them being together. Something is not right. She texts Jordan.
Mission Jordan climbs down the last cabin, – not fast enough. He jumps to the ground, and limps toward the booth as Sarah watches him from the cabin above. His phone dings with Sara’s message.
Mission Turner makes an inspirational speech, lets Liam cut the banner, and they embark into the first cabin, watching the wheel move up as the excited fairgoers fill up the rest of the available cabins.
CRISIS
Mission Brie makes it to the Wheel in severe pain, bleeding. She searches for Cooper, Ronnie or her dad, can’t find them, then heads toward the control booth.
Mission Jordan operates control panel, moving forward the cabins until the last cabin fills with passengers. then sets the timer. Brie borrows Jordan’s phone, sees Sarah’s text, and gives her a call. She learns that the rugged looking man spent time in the booth while they were gone. Brie and Jordan search for any devices or damages, but everything functions normal until Jordan tries to stop the wheel. It starts spinning faster, generating more speed. Jordan is helpless. Bree throws the phone to Jordan and yells to call ambulance and the police.
Action Spectators and folks on the Wheel call the police. Panic ensues. Some riders jump out of their cabin when they can, piling up on top of each other on the ground.
Villain The camera man takes off. Cooper stops him and yells to keep rolling no matter what.
Mission Brie rushes toward the Wheel helping fallen folks to safety. She freezes hearing Liam’s voice screaming her name.
Mission Turner waves to Brie, prepping Liam to jump out of the cabin into his mommy’s arms when they get closer.
Villain Phil tells Ronnie that his daughter was messing around with a guy who operates the Wheel. Probably still up there in one of the cabins. Ronnie runs to the electrical room, Phil chases him, they fight. Ronnie beats up Phil, and yanks the breaker.
Mission Turner holds Liam close to the edge of the cabin, and — the lights go off, jolting the Wheel. Liam flies out of the cabin, landing on another person on the ground.
Action The wheel grinds, then halts to a sudden stop. The support cables break under enormous pressure. The wheel careens, barely holding on two deformed support beams. Lose cabins break out and drop onto the ground. People fall, scream, crawl – CHAOS. STAMPEDE. EVERYWHERE.
CLIMAX
Villain Cooper notices approaching helicopters, police and ambulances, yanks the camera man’s arm to follow him and rushes toward the wheel.
Mission Brie falls onto her knees, crawls helping folks if she can, while searching for Liam. Finds him stuck under a dead body.
Action Cooper grabs Brie by her arm, she accuses him for sabotaging this. Cooper slaps her. The camera man records. Brie hears Sarah’s call. She finds Sarah stuck between two broken cabins, barely hanging on their safety cables.
Action The Wheel cracks. Sarah’s cabin jolts and careens at a dubious angle. She screams. Brie tells Liam run away as far as he can to safety. She’ll find him. She starts climbing up the metal beams, but Cooper grabs her by the broken ankle, pulling back. She screams with pain. Sarah pleads for help.
Mission Turner limps toward Liam, and leads him to safety.
Action Brie pushes Cooper hard. He grabs her by her hand. She frees it from his grip and throws his wedding ring into the air. He releases Brie, tries to grab the ring, and — Sarah’s cabin breaks off, and collapses, landing on Cooper.
Mission Brie catches Sarah, and they fall onto the ground together. Safe, as the part of the Wheel breaks off the cable and heads their way.
RESOLUTION
Action Paramedics, people, police officers help people to safety. Brie, on a gurney, is carried toward the ambulance, followed by Liam and Sarah. Turner watches Brie’s gurney loaded into the car. Liam waves at him, encouraging him to come see mom. Turner hesitates for a moment, then approaches Brie. She squeezes his hand, grateful. He says that they are in a heap of trouble, asks for forgiveness as they may never see each other again, at least not outside of the jail. Sarah laughs, and says that they will. She got them covered, and shows a glimpse of videos she took with Ronnie, Phil and Cooper.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by Nat Melvin.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by
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