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Lesson 4
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Assignment #4
David Wickenden 10 Most Interesting Things
1.
· What is most unique about your villain and hero?
The Protagonist, Laura, is a psychiatrist who instead of helping people is now killing child abusers. Her best friend, Janice, is a RCMP officer tasked with hunting Laura down.
· Major hook of your opening scene?
After a trial that finds a rapist not guilty, a young child finds her sister has hanged herself.
· Any turning points?
Janice informs Laura that she has been assigned to a task force that is to track down and capture the vigilante, which is Laura.
· Emotional dilemma?
For Laura, the emotional dilemma is killing child abusers. It is also betraying her friend Janice and tracking the police investigation. For Janice is following the law and arresting her friend or turning a blind eye so Laura can escape.
· Major twists?
The big twist and we find out who the killer is. The second is when Janice is assigned to track down the killer.
· Reversals?
After failing to apprehend Laura, Janice is suspended. When there is a knock on the door, she finds herself kidnapped by a child abuser, who wants to get back at Laura.
· Character betrayals?
Laura betrays her best friend by using their relationship to track police investigations.
· Or any big surprises?
Laura sets a fire trap for a child abuser. He finds and kidnaps Janice to bait Laura.
As the police wait to capture Laura escaping Canada, they launched hundreds of boats, making it impossible to track.
The head of the Canadian spy agency offers to help Laura.
2.
1. The Protagonist, Laura, is a psychiatrist who, instead of helping people, is now killing child abusers.
2. Her best friend, Janice, is a RCMP officer who is tasked with hunting Laura down.
3. After a trial that finds a rapist not guilty, a young child finds her sister has hanged herself.
4. For Laura, the emotional dilemma is killing child abusers. It is also betraying her friend Janice and tracking the police investigation.
5. For Janice, the emotional dilemma is following the law and arresting her friend or turning a blind eye so Laura can escape.
6. The big twist and we find out who the killer is. The second is when Janice is assigned to track down the killer.
7. Laura betrays her best friend by using their relationship to track police investigations.
8. Laura sets a fire trap for a child abuser. He finds and kidnaps Janice to bait Laura.
9. As the police wait to capture Laura escaping Canada, they launched hundreds of boats, making it impossible to track.
10. The head of the Canadian spy agency offers to help Laura.
What I learned from this assignment?
I learned to take a hard look at my story and break it down to the most interesting elements.
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· A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
Protagonists–The sisters are the transition into early feminism. Unfulfilled Reba, despite her baking talent, is married and lives a traditional life. Margie lives in a mixed housing cooperative while in college has a career goal of becoming an RN.
Antagonist-Police Officer Stan is attractive, and wants access to Mary Jane brownies for his ill wife.
· B. Major hook of your opening scene?
o The Pink Food truck is plummeting over the hills of Berkeley trying to avoid the police.
· C. Any turning points?
o Reba’s students want to follow in her footsteps. The realization hits her, and she tries to open up other possibilities for them.
· D. Emotional dilemma?
o Vietnam and burning draft cards.
o Feminism and burning bras.
o Reba worrying about losing her job for making brownies with ‘mary jane.’
o medical help through pot.
· E. Major twists?
o Police will protect them for the brownies, but for how long?
· F. Reversals?
o Police chasing them, but to purchase the gourmet brownies for the wife of the policeman rather than arresting them.
· G. Character betrayals?
o Not yet.
· H. Or any big surprises?
o The pink food truck sells magic brownies.
. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.
House is full of musicians with a few soon to be famous crash on their couch.
UC Security employee lives in the cooperative house.
The pot head gets drafted.
Co-op Housing friend chem nerd is a TA on campus; Margie is in his class.
3. Organize both and select the 10 most interesting things. Post those to the forums.
Following one’s dream after making a bad life decision.
Pink food truck chase above U.C. Berkeley and over the hills.
Democracy – Vietnam similar to current Ukraine.
Feminism – Burning bras, but still an ongoing issue with sisters approaching it from different angles.
Sisters’ relationship.
Role model as a teacher and wanting student to find their own dreams.
Folk and rock and roll musicians in house and visiting.
Fear of Reba’s husband reaction to if arrested and work related ramifications.
Loss of teaching job, career standing and student’s respect by helping sister by baking as a loved ability.
How to escape an unfulfilled marriage and finding the money to make it happen without losing one’s soul.
4. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and post it at the top of your work.
Perspective. I always overexplain when I talk about my projects, and this assignment helps me take a step away from the emotional and to the marketable. How to center myself and identify a different perspective is an important skill set.
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Tasha’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned doing this assignment is that breaking down a script into bite size chunks not only helps you see the marketable points that are interesting, but it helps you see the possibilities for the rewrite.
1. Go through your project and see which of these specific hooks you have:
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
-Hero tries to date but her demon won’t let her.
-Villain is a priest who practices summoning demons.
B. Major hook of your opening scene?
-Hero participates in performing her own exorcism.
C. Any turning points?
-Bethany’s has to fight her demon during a date
-Bethany’s finds out that previous suitors stopped dating her because they received copies of her exorcism.
-Bethany father tells her Deacon Anders filmed her exorcism.
-Deacon Anders knocks her out and preps her for his demonic demonstration.
D. Emotional dilemma?
-Bethany has to team up with the Demon that tried to possess her soul in order to stop Deaco Anders from killing her.
E. Major twists?
-Bethany’s so spiritually powerful she can send multiple demons out of this world
F. Reversals?
-Amy is a barista who has a strong knowledge of the occult
-Demon 23 realizes he wants to love Bethany not possess her
-Bethany exorcises herself during her exorcism
G. Character betrayals?
-Deacon Anders goes from Bethany’s Father figure and mentor to trying to kill her.
H. Or any big surprises?
-It’s not Brad, it’s Demon 23 possessing Brad to try and date Bethany
2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.
-The foster kids that Bethany volunteers for are her real family
-The Survivors of Bethany’s support group
-Koju’s Spiritual Center awakens Bethany super-power-esque spirituality
-Bethany studies metaphysical spirituality to banish demons
-Koju wants Bethany to have a couple’s counseling session with Demon 23
-Bethany becomes a fearless exorcist and removes demons from possessed kids
3. Organize both and select the 10 most interesting things. Post those to the forums.
-Bethany helps perform her own exorcism.
-Priest Deacon Anders is a closet occultist.
-Bethany’s has to fight her demon during a date
-Demon 23 possesses Brad to try and date Bethany
-The support group for guys who dated Bethany
-Deacon Anders goes from Bethany’s Father figure and mentor to trying to kill her.
-Bethany studies metaphysical spirituality to banish demons with superpower-esque spirituality
-Koju wants Bethany to have a couple’s counseling session with Demon 23
-Bethany has to team up with the Demon 23, who tried to possess her soul, in order to stop Deacon Anders from killing her
-Bethany becomes a fearless exorcist and removes demons from possessed kids
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Deb’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned – To capture the attention of managers and producers I must only give them information on the script that will interest, intrigue, engage, shock, or surprise them. This is not the time to give a “book report.” In trying to make my list concise, I don’t know if I’ve kept it interesting, but here is my best shot so far…
Little Delia shatters a glass door while trying to stop her father from leaving. She’s got scars.
Now she’s a snarky teen addicted to her phone.
Abby, her rough-and-tumble grandma, tosses Delia’s phone out the car window.
Torrie, an uber-famous artist, gives them both a tour of her art exhibit, “The Plastic Bag,” where each piece of art comes to life and tells a different story.
This cursed bag wreaks havoc in every life it touches as it:
• Almost suffocates a baby.
• Sets up a near car wreck.
• Kicks off WW3 on a playground.
• Sends a kid to urgent care.
• Carries heist money.
• Launches a misguided shopping spree.
Should Delia remain isolated in a virtual world she can control, or allow herself to be drawn into the real messy lives of her family and friends?
Turns out the stories are true and based on the lives of both Torrie and Abby – except the real endings are much worse.
Torrie reveals how her artwork paints a picture of God the Father who is with us amid life’s tragedies.
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Ken’s Ten most interesting things about my script Enola:
1.) Serial Killer Sports Comedy.
2.) If I told you this is a sports story with gambling, drugs, and murder, would you guess the sport is golf?
3.) Enola will do anything to win, and executing a kill equals an LPGA win.
4.) Enola is an accidental killer after a fight with her addict brother’s drug dealer.
5.) Enola makes a deal with the devil, her brother in his sobriety taking over as her caddy.
6.) Enola is an apologetic killer trying to confess to her tone-deaf supporters.
7.) A sports journalist will do anything to get a win against Enola investigating the gambling, the brother’s drug history, her police interviews, and more.
8.) The broad comedy exploits at her Uncle’s bar disguises the dark comedy of her killing.
9.) Can killing be justified, and can killing be funny – Yes and Yes, but…am I really laughing at this, and can I root for her – Yes and Yes again.
10.) From the opening scene, there’s a gambling play, and throughout the killing, the winning, and the not-winning there’s more wagering, even to the last scene, somebody is taking a bet.
What I learned today is that I can understand and see the necessary rewrites needed from the strengths of the ten most interesting things about my script, and the weaknesses of the points that I left out.
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Terrell’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned doing this assignment is this a pretty effective way to get rid of writer’s block.
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
The villain is a witch with deity level powers.
A superstitious businessman seeking to redeem himself in his father’ s eyes is sent to the Philippines to acquisition resort that happens to be cursed.
B. Major hook of your opening scene?
A large monster attacks a small bungalow.
C. Any turning points?
Since locals are afraid to stay overnight, the resort owner runs an internet special directed at foreigners and manages to fill her resort.
A self confessed witch falls in love with a vlogger and goes against her coven to protect him.
The entire resort comes under attack by an inky darkness that ordinary light can’t penetrate.
Two foreigners (vlogger and businessman) believe and plot to help the resort owner fight back.
Emotional dilemma?
A superstitious businessman, eager to regain his father’s favor, must overcome his fear of the supernatural to scout and acquire the cursed resort
A self confessed witch falls in love with the vlogger and goes against her coven to protect him, warning him of the dangers of the cursed resort.
The vlogger, falling in love the resort owner and quietly stringing along the self confessed witch for help decides to help the resort owner break the curse, by killing the head witch.
· Major twists?
In a fit of jealously the self confessed witch double crosses the vlogger with a plan to kill him.
Every creature is not evil and murderous, and some will aid the humans for a favor or 2
Everyone trapped in the witches darkness must face a darkness in their own heart
H. Or any big surprises?
The businessman has psychic powers, hence sensitivity to the spirit world.
The head witch is near impossible to kill and her powers are godlike, can they figure out her weakness in time?
Only certain locally made weapons will works against the monsters and witches.
Our group will face some of The Philippines most terrifying monsters.
The resort owner decides embraces the curse when she concludes that she deserves it.
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Rob’s 10 Most Interesting Things
1. The hero is a cranberry sauce marketing executive who has forgotten the true meaning of Thanksgiving.
2. The villain is the leader of the Pilgrims, who feels threatened by the hero and accuses him of being a witch so he can burn him at the stake.
3. The dramatic heart of the story is about how the hero is given a second chance to repair his relationship with his estranged 13-year-old daughter.
4. A major hook of the opening scene is the question of why a man who looks every bit like a Pilgrim speaks in modern vernacular.
5. The first major turning point comes when the hero makes a wishbone wish that lands him, in fish-out-of-water fashion, in 1621 Plymouth Plantation.
6. Setup / betrayal: The ally who has promised to help the hero get back to 2023 betrays him and tries to convince him to stay in 1621.
7. A major emotional dilemma for the hero is that if he leaves behind the young Native American girl who has become his surrogate daughter, she will almost certainly become a victim of the massacres that he knows wiped out her people.
8. Setup / surprise: The hero’s entire goal is to get a Thanksgiving wishbone so that he can make a wish to return to 2023, but at the climax he selflessly decides to give his wish to the young native girl so she can have her wish instead (a seemingly crazy but heroic act of selflessness).
9. Setup / surprise: When she receives the wishbone, the young girl makes the wish that returns the hero back to 2023 (another heroic act of selflessness).
10. Setup / surprise: Finally back in 2023, the hero thinks it was all a bad dream, but he soon finds that all the positive values he learned and embodied in 1621 have changed his life for the better in 2023.
Other things that could interest a producer:
1. Comedies are in vogue, with 40% of the box office this year (double their typical 20%).
2. This is a highly contained, budget friendly story, with few locations and a limited cast.
3. Holiday-themed family comedies are usually highly successful—e.g., Elf, Home Alone, The Santa Clause, A Christmas Story, Bad Santa, Scrooged, etc.—but there is a dearth of family comedies about Thanksgiving.
4. This story is designed to lend itself to multiple sequels.
What I learned doing this assignment is that it can be valuable to look at my story from the perspective of the buyer or audience member, in order to hone in on the qualities of the story that matter most.
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<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>Subject: Monica’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned doing this assignment is to focus on the interesting parts of your project.
1. Go through your project and see which of these specific hooks you have:
A. What is most unique about
your villain and hero?Lone wolf, bad-ass female undercover
Detective (Victoria) meets by-the-book Inspector (Daniel) who partner up
to find the detective’s sister.
The Villain, Jack, is a
cocaine addict in charge of the HT ring and swears he’s met Victoria
before but can’t place her because of his drug habit – recurring theme.<div>B. Major hook of your opening
scene?Victoria chases her sister (Lizzie)
and friends after they leave the bar with a group of strange men only to
get in a car accident and lose them.C. Any turning points?
Victoria’s cover is broken
because Lizzie tells Jack who she is.D. Emotional dilemma?
Victoria and Lizzie were
always close. When Victoria discovers Lizzie is part of the human
trafficking ring does, she look the other way or arrest her regardless of
whether it breaks her heart or not?
Victoria and Daniel dance
around their attraction until Serena’s death which affects Victoria and
Daniel offers her friendship to cope.E. Major twists?
Victoria and Jack go on a trip
to procure more women but Jack ends up murdering the contacts and
Victoria then tells Beatrice about Jack’s murder spree to sow discontent
amongst the traffickers.
The police Superintendent
turns out to have his hand in the HT ring.F. Reversals?
Victoria from lone-wolf, ass
kicking cop to someone who recognizes the need for meaningful
relationships in one’s life.G. Character betrayals?
Lizzie betrays Victoria by
becoming involved in a horrendous crime. And, Lizzie betrays her friends
by selling them into human trafficking, just to make a buck.
Victoria goes undercover and
betrays Beatrice (human trafficker) by hacking her phone.
One of the rescued women turns
on another and murders her.
Victoria betrays her friend,
Serena, who is also undercover, to sow more discontent and suspicion
amongst the criminals.H. Or any big surprises?
Victoria is surprised to find
Lizzie is part of the HT ring.
Beatrice and Jack have an
Oedipus complex relationship.2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.
o Theme – family vs duty
o Social commentary – human trafficking is still a big topic today.
o Marketable concept with plenty of action to keep audience’s interested.
</div>
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Rita’s 10 Most Interesting Things
What I learned doing this assignment is I need to make sure my A story is fully fleshed out.
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
Heroine – a woman unlucky in love suddenly has two men vying for her affections.
Villain (a choice) – heroine must choose between the two men.
B. Major hook of your opening scene?
After claiming she’s bringing home a nonexistent boyfriend for Christmas, heroine loses the most lucrative pitch of her firm to her co-worker.
C. Any turning points?
Heroine convinces co-worker to pose as her boyfriend for Christmas and in exchange she will help him with the lucrative proposal. The Christmas Boyfriend ruse begins…
D. Emotional dilemma?
As sparks fly, heroine and co-worker must decide whether to act on their feelings.
E. Major twists?
Heroine realizes she has unresolved feelings for her high school sweetheart.
F. Reversals?
1. To avoid distractions, co-worker returns to the city leaving heroine to explore her feelings with former sweetheart.
2. As heroine rekindles relationship with former sweetheart, co-worker returns with plans to pitch lucrative proposal in heroine’s hometown.
G. Character betrayals?
Co-worker’s lucrative pitch jeopardizes high school sweetheart’s struggling business and in turn risks her relationship with both men.
H. Or any big surprises?
Heroine inadvertently saves the day through her reworked pitch.
2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.
My Christmas Boyfriend is a family-friendly, Hallmark-inspired rom com.
This budget friendly screenplay has few locations and a limited cast.
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ASSIGNMENT #4:
Subject Line: (Sheila Rinear) 10 Most Interesting Things about Sons of Treason
What I learned doing this assignment is that I needed to take time to step away from the writing and look at the story as though I were an audience member. I needed to find things that would stay with me after seeing it as a film, and then try to figure out which of those things would be strongly interesting to a producer trying to make a film; or to a manager trying to build both her/his career and mine off my writing.
1. Go through your project and see which of these specific hooks you have:
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
The villain, Queen Isabella, has an almost admirably relentless ability to lie and manipulate so effectively that those listening to her get caught up in her charisma and never see hammer coming at their head.
The protagonist, Robert, not only is able to interpret dreams but he has an uncanny moral compass.
B. Major hook of your opening scene?
As the new young King Edward oversees the execution of the man who murdered his father, he realizes his mother the Queen is madly in love with the murderer and Edward is rocked to his soul when his mother says to him, “Do not think this will end well for you.”
C. Any turning points?
The humble priest who had served the royal family in their younger days shows up as a high-placed Cardinal of the Church and an instrument of Queen Isabella’s political machinations.
Robert, the bastard brother, raised in an abbey and maintaining the decorum of a spiritual dream interpreter, shows himself to be a powerhouse warrior when thrown into a fight or flight situation with King Edward.
D. Emotional dilemma?
Robert will either continue to obey his mother Queen Isabella in securing proximity to King Edward so that he might kill him; or, he abandons his mother’s plan for power and joins forces with his half-brother the king and overthrows Queen Isabella.
E. Major twists?
King Edward’s discovery that Robert is his half-brother and threat to Edward’s throne.
When Robert forges his way into the French camp and uncovers Queen Isabella’s entire plan to murder King Edward, his wife and children.
F. Reversals?
Queen Isabella falls from power and strikes out because Robert switches his allegiance to his brother, King Edward.
G. Character betrayals?
Queen Isabella betrays her son, King Edward.
Robert betrays his mother, Queen Isabella.
The Cardinal ultimately betrays Queen Isabella.
H. Or any big surprises?
In the finale as Edward awaits the arrival of his main man, Harcort, to lead the charge against the French, Queen Isabella snarls her joy as we switch and see that Harcort is leading the French against Edward’s troops.
2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.
The ability to read dreams/dream interpretation was quite a science at the time of this story. The protagonist’s ability in this area works to bond King Edward with Robert as Robert guides Edward through his historically notorious nightmares.
Robert has his “hasn’t anybody ever just sat down and talked with this man” moments as Edward reveals his dysfunctional past at the hands of Queen Isabella’s parenting.
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John Woodward’s 10 Most Interesting Things.
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
The villain is unique because there are actually FOUR villains not one. The utterly horrific villains attack the hero independently from each other with motivations and methods unique to each.
Villain 1. Vladimir Prudnikov is a battle-hardened psychopath of a villain with a refined air and who enjoys philosophical exchanges with his victims. Vlad’s uniqueness includes killing his father to gain materially. He wears a scarlet cravat to cover the wound he received when his father defended himself by choking his son with a chain. Prudnikov’s larynx damage results in an especially sinister and raspy voice that must be processed and amplified by an electrolarynx, an artificial larynx. To speak, Prudnikov must place the small, battery-operated device directly on his neck, under the chin.
To Vlad, the only thing that’s sacred is his right to have what he wants, when he wants it. His motto might be “Women and children first,” only in the sense that they’d be the first sacrificial lambs if they stood in the way of his getting what he craves.
Villain 2. Diego “The Hammer” Dedon is a shrewd, Mike Tyson style goon of a street smart MMA fighter, willing to sledgehammer anything or anyone who stands between him and his quest. Hammer betrays Chance (his best friend) as well as all of his allies at the worst possible moment. Vile, brutish, and ultimately murderous if necessary.
Villain 3 Allison Van Zandt . Allison is the romantic lead and a villain. She’s vulnerable yet sly. A woman of many dimensions. Wounded yet tough. Open yet inscrutable. Victimized yet predatory. A tender trap any man would find it hard to resist. No mere damsel in distress, she can give as well as take. A tough match for even the toughest of men. With vulnerability, innocent charm, and youthful beauty, she convincingly earns Chance’s trust, but does she deserve it?
Villain 4 Tony Bruno. Vain, buff, earrings, tattoos, black leather vest. Tony ‘s a biker gangster, San Fernando Valley style. He enjoys a lucrative sideline fixing MMA fights. Chance is Hammer’s long time trainer and manager. When the unpredictable Hammer betrays his agreement to take a dive in a fixed fight against Tony’s top-ranked fighter, Chance has 24 hours to pay the Tony’s debt.
B. Major hook of your opening scene? A desperate old man braves the severe wilderness of Russia’s most remote Ural Mountains to retrieve a long-hidden, priceless treasure from an abandoned subterranean mine. The old timer appears to be well ahead of the KGB types who pursue him, only to be betrayed by an especially close ally who murders him and escapes with the cursed booty.
C. Any turning points?
The female lead sets up the protagonist.
The female lead kills her husband when left alone with her unconscious husband and claims that he died from the protagonist’s attack.
Villain Vlad kidnaps the female lead’s young daughter.
The female lead poisons the protagonist.
D. Emotional dilemma?
Should the protagonist trust the female lead?
E. Major twists?
Allison claims to help Chance by taking him to her husband Brad, a notorious broker of black market art. She actually leads Chance into a trap and the vile Prudnikov.
Another twist immediately ensues when Prudnikov attacks Allison because her husband stole his priceless masterpiece. A third twist follows when Chance uses his MMA skills to save Allison from being pistol whipped by the furious Russian.
F. Reversals?
An MMA fighter who agreed to take a dive betrays his best friend and trainer Chance Mitchell, the hero, when he knocks out the rising star, incurring the wrath of the fight fixer who specializes in taking revenge with dynamite.
G. Character betrayals?
The female lead poisons her husband and the protagonist. To avoid sharing the proceeds of the priceless masterpiece, Hammer kills his loyal friend Nate, and tries to kill Chance and Allison.
H. Or any big surprises?
In order to save Chance’s life, Allison shoots Hammer in the forehead, but he doesn’t die! Allison is stunned, but the audience realizes, years earlier, a surgeon installed a steel plate to repair the forehead damage Hammer caused himself when he repeatedly head butted an MMA opponent.
Make a list of any other things in your script that would interest a producer.
3. Organize both and select the 10 most interesting things.
Four ruthless villains each with his own motivations and methods.
Strong, intriguing, well-defined characters, some of whom are offbeat/colorful
Neo-noir genre with demonstrated commercial appeal for more than 80 years.
Roles that attract topline actors
Dark humor as comic relief
Engaging, believable dialogue that often hides more than it reveals
Relatable, convincing love story
Suspenseful plot with a Unique MacGuffin
Sex, action, violence, lust, betrayal
Riveting dramatic conflict in exciting settings
4. I learned to analyze the screenplay based on criteria that appeals to producers, actors, agents, managers, and other industry pros.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by John Woodward.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by John Woodward.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by John Woodward.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by John Woodward.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 8 months ago by
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Ron’s 10 Most Interesting Things
A. There are layers of villains here: the entire Imperial Japanese Navy is the obvious one. But there’s also incompetent “leadership” of the squadron, and there’s the “villainy” of sending men into battle with defective equipment.
B. We go from dark and ambiguous to full on high speed, close-quarters attack in the first 60 seconds of the movie. All hell breaks loose – the scene opens the movie.
C. Our hero has multiple scrapes with death due to the unreliability of the torpedoes as well as the ambiguities and “fog” of war. The turning points flow from that. The BIG turning point occurs late in the movie, when Japan stops sending destroyers and starts sending armed barges, which destroys the utility of the torpedoes and the captains can turn their vessels into gunboats, where they become significantly more effective.
D. The emotional dilemma is this: how long does our hero keep putting his men on his boat and going out to sink destroyers when he knows his weapons are marginal?
E. The Big Twist is that our hero doesn’t have to change, much. He is given a new mission because the enemy changes his tactics in a way that makes our hero and his crew and weapons systems MORE relevant.
F. Haven’t figured out a quality reversal here.
G. The whole point is the “betrayal” of a weapon.
H. Big surprise is when the Japanese go to barges.
What I learned writing this lesson: still fermenting this lesson. I see the point, am struggling a bit to apply those ideas to my script. But I’m slowly getting there. It’s changing how I describe the nature of the script.
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10 Interesting things
Major Opening Scene Hooks:
Remy arrogantly mocks exploited women on true crime podcasts, oblivious to her own blind spots as an investigator.
Turning Points:
Disgraced from her true crime group, Remy pursues justice against Chad on her own.
Major Twists:
Remy cuts off friend Miranda for dating shady Dave, unaware Miranda has inside info on Chad.
Remy’s own friend Louisa, not Remy, is the one who first uncovers the link between Miranda’s boyfriend Dave and villain Chad.
Emotional Dilemmas:
Remy debates exposing Chad publicly vs privately when she learns it could jeopardize her sister the cop’s career, as her sister already mocks Remy’s true crime interests.
Character Betrayals:
Dave betrays Remy’s investigation to protect his threatened family but later becomes a secret informant.
Though well-meaning Miranda wishes to free Dave from Chad’s threats, spineless Dave continues deceiving her in his fear, stoking Remy’s fury that forgiving Miranda doesn’t kick duplicitous Dave to the curb.
Remy’s sister the cop buried past complaints against Chad’s dealings.
Reversals:
Prideful Remy must collaborate with dorky coworker Meatball for tech assistance.
Big Surprises:
Local celebrity true crime guru Jeanne St. John advises Remy that justice sometimes happens quietly, keeping her arrogance in check.
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10 Most Interesting Things
1. The protagonist, Allen, is an ex-cop with first-responder PTSD due to facing constant danger on a brutal beat and his underlying wound of an abusive father who hated him. After eight years of police work, he moves to Minneapolis and becomes co-author with his wife, Linda, of popular animal books sold around the world.
2. The antagonist, Leaf, is an adorable looking, intelligent cocker spaniel with secrets and a sixth sense that tunes him into people in unexpected ways. Abandonment and abuse have resulted in severe emotional wounds that make him fear-aggressive with a hard time trusting anyone. He turns Allen and Linda’s home into a war zone.
3. Shortly after adopting Leaf, Allen is suddenly diagnosed with two life-threatening medical crises that that could kill him instantly (just like his police work). He’s forced to confront his mortality and need for support from Linda and Leaf.
4. A neighbor reports Leaf to animal control as a vicious dog, Leaf’s new groomer doesn’t want to give him another appointment because he snapped at her, and he doesn’t show affection to Linda as she tries to deal with Allen’s and his crises.
5. On top of all the traumas they face, Allen and Linda have a new book to promote in the media and bookstore events and a contract for a next book that’s due to their editor within months.
6. Allen has promised to always keep Leaf safe with a forever home. Now he doesn’t know if he’ll survive his medical crises. His low self-confidence fuels feelings of inadequacy. His PTSD gets worse.
7. Leaf is plagued by terror of being left again, of being touched by people he doesn’t know or trust, and an over-the-top need to be alpha dog. He has to protect himself at dogpark and defend his new home turf. His nightmares and fear-aggression increases.
8. Allen resists fears of being an invalid like his father who had a stroke that disabled him for the rest of his life. His insistence on not sharing his feelings causes strains and rifts in his marriage. He makes self-destructive decisions that cause even more trauma for Linda. She submerges her needs and devotes herself to keeping Allen alive even as he pushes her away, leading to a growing sense of isolation, frustration, and self-doubt.
9. Allen starts to recognize Leaf’s heightened senses, sentience, and perception. Leaf sees and know things others can’t and that no one would expect from “only a dog.” In a major pivot point, Allen talks about a nightmare that predicts he won’t ever have a ticket to “The Building of Life.” Leaf acts out of intuitiveness, love, and empathy to mysteriously reassure Allen’s survival.
10. Leaf and Allen came together at exactly the right time in their lives with such similar emotional issues and past traumas that they “get” each other in ways no one else can. They share an empathy that grows even as they punch each other’s buttons in a push-pull relationship that grows into a deep bond of love and friendship.
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Bob Kerr, The Ten Most Interesting Things.
What I learned is that less is more and the goal is a concise short sentence.
The 10 Most Interesting Things In My Script
1) The main character is a mousy woman who grows into a lion through the sport of rowing.
2) A national champion willingly decides to come to Wichita, Kansas to build a competitive crew.
3) The main character must overcome her fear of drowning just to get in a rowing shell.
4) The main character struggles to please her overbearing father while faced with creating a future for her child.
5) The main character betrays her father and abandons her agreement with him.
6) Fran is hiding a secret when the now reigning World Champion recruits her for stroke.
7) The entire women’s crew agrees to financially support the one non-student so they can compete.
8) There is a black woman in what is traditionally an all white elite oriented sport.
9) Recently crowned World Champion must build a women’s crew or destroy his dream of building a champion in Wichita, Kansas.
10) The coach kicks off 3 men one month before their first regatta.
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Dan’s Most Interesting Things
What I learned doing this assignment is… that drama isn’t necessarily interesting in the eyes of a producer. There are much more interesting things to put in a pitch!
A. What is most unique about your villain and hero?
Villain is a demon that can put victims into separate versions of “reality”, all while actually trapping them inside a kaleidoscope with it, where it can feed on them
B. Major hook of your opening scene?
Something is posing as your father, and your home becomes an inescapable maze. It’s as if you’re in a nightmare, but you’re really just fallen victim to… the kaleidoscope.
C. Any turning points?
Kendall is showing signs of being possessed by the kaleidoscope
But other family members are seemingly possessed as well
But it turns out that the kaleidoscope is really just separating each family member into their own “nightmare,” and posing as the other family members
D. Emotional dilemma?
She’s broken free from the kaleidoscope, but Kendall has to decide to go back in and try to save her family, risking her life once again.
E. Major twists?
It turns out that Kendall wasn’t responsible for her brother’s death, it was her mother, Nora. But Nora can’t face the truth.
F. Reversals?
Kendall looks like she’s stealing, lying again, imagining things
G. Character betrayals?
Kendall’s mom and dad can’t break out of their denial, are stuck/get killed inside the kaleidoscope
H. Or any big surprises?
2. Make a list of any other things in your script that could interest a producer.
Gnarly death
Gnarly nightmarish scenes
Kid dies in opening scene
Demon priest
10 Most Interesting Things:
Villain is a demon that can put victims into separate versions of “reality”,
The villain is trapping the family inside a kaleidoscope with it, where it can feed on them
The kaleidoscope is essentially hell, where the victims are stuck in this personalized nightmare and can be fed on whenever the demon pleases
Kendall’s mom and dad can’t break out of their denial, are stuck/get killed inside the kaleidoscope
It turns out that Kendall wasn’t responsible for her brother’s death, it was her mother, Nora. But Nora can’t face the truth.
Kendall has broken free from the kaleidoscope, but she has to decide to go back in and try to save her family, risking her life once again.
Kendall is showing signs of being possessed by the kaleidoscope
But other family members are seemingly possessed as well
But it turns out that the kaleidoscope is really just separating each family member into their own “nightmare,” and posing as the other family members
Something is posing as your father, and your home becomes an inescapable maze. It’s as if you’re in a nightmare, but you’re really just fallen victim to… the kaleidoscope/Kid dies in opening scene
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