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Lesson 11
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8 Replies
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<div>Kevin Lobo’s Level 2 Horror Emotions:</div>
What I learned from this lesson. Writing with a clear goal of a particular set of emotions, lends itself magically to creating a flow that will become a definite journey for the viewer.
(Setting the scene: The evil spirit has already killed off Bradley and Sarah. The teens are aware it’s in Ruth from the sporadic eruptions of the spirit in her. They go back to the grave trying to undo the evil they have set off)
EXT. THE CEMETERY – DAY
THIS SCENE IS A PART OF ACT 2 – WRITTEN AS PART OF THE EMOTIONS FEAR – SUSPENSE – DREAD.
Kimberly, Glen and Jason peer nervously over the cemetery wall, tense faces. The cemetery is empty – silent and deceptively peaceful.
They climb over the wall, staying low, speak in whispers.
Jason
Sure you saw her in the window.
Kimberly
Hell yes… got a wave too!
Glen
Her grandpa has her well secured.
Kimberly
But it’s Ruth, she could sneak out of anywhere to party… now with that evil spirit in her, anything’s possible!
Their destination is the JH grave… this time they know it well. Yellow and orange tape on little posts marks it.
Jason
How do you know you won’t set of something worse?
Kimberly
I don’t… but we’ve got to try it just might save Ruth.
Glen
And us… we’re next on its list.
Kimberly
Not happening, dammit!
Glen
Wake up K, it said it clearly to us —
Jason
Through Sarah… I don’t wanna die that miserable death!
Kimberly
Sorry… I was such a dope… ok ready.
They reach the grave, still hunched low, grip hands, cold hands sending shivers down their backs. Kimberly pulls out the spell.
Kimberly (cont’d)
Ready?
RUTH
(Right behind them)
Ready.
They leap at the sound of her voice right behind them, muffled moans and screams. Jason and Glen run to each other, hugging each other fearfully.
Kimberly, left kneeling at the grave, shivers violently, a trembling cry breaks out of her voice as she looks up at Ruth standing right above her – a grin on her face.
Kimberly
Hey… you… didn’t see –-
Ruth
The party queen. Not fair, Just the four of us left, we got to stick together.
Ruth reaches out her hand… Kimberly takes it hesitantly, her body frozen in fear, wanting to but not daring to look in Ruth’s face.
Ruth (cont’d)
Group hug? Guys, what’s wrong, come on.
Jason and Glen come around pensively… peering closely at Ruth’s face… any signs of the evil spirit surfacing… listening for any change in her voice.
Ruth gathers them up in a big hug and let’s go. They relax a bit as she sits… they creep as far as they can. She begins to weep softly.
Ruth (cont’d)
I know you detest me… I know it’s in me.
Kimberly
What does it feel like?
Ruth
I got this stupid fucking countdown going on in my head…
Jason
To what?
RUTH
(Screams violently)
To my fucking death, you fucking moron.
She goes hysterical and begins to weep loudly… still her own voice.
Ruth (cont’d)
It’s fucking playing in my head… tomorrow night… keeps reminding me… then its you two pricks.
Jason
Then help us fight it.
Ruth
NO! Don’t even —
Glen
We can do it… save you… and us three.
A spasm rocks Ruth’s body. She sits, looks up, still ok.
Ruth
Kiss me boys, just like that night.
Kimberly
Don’t!
Kimberly begins to chant the spell, in reverse, scribbled in her hand. Her voice quivers. She tries to stare at Ruth.
Ruth
Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me…
Jason and Glen, flee behind Kimberly as the spasms in Ruth’s body become deadlier. She is lifted high and tossed over behind them.
They yell, try to run and trip over another grave… Ruth standing right over them. Her hair stands like giant spikes, her eyes now like live coals, bulging miles out and her voice finally cracks into a hideous male laughter.
Male Voiced Ruth (cont’d)
Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me…
Jason and Glen stand but are punched back down viciously.
Kimberly is yanked up by her hair and tossed.
They run, but each time the spirit tosses Ruth right over cutting off their exit until…
A gun shot rings out. It’s Julia, gun outstretched, finger on the trigger, Ruth in its sight.
Julia
Another step and you’re dead.
male voiced Ruth
Ha, ha, ha… shoot this teenaged bitch, Agent, I got three more to choose from.
Julia
Let her go… go back to your grave.
male voiced Ruth
Not until you bring it back.
Julia
Bring what back?
A screech of tires… the Sheriff comes running in.
The possessed Ruth turns around and flees into the forest.
Julia
Wow! Didn’t see that happening…
Sheriff
Heard a gunshot.
Julia shrugs tucking in her gun. She grabs the three shivering, bruised teens and heads to her car.
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Eve Williams’ Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene.
What I learned from doing this assignment is to continue to ask: “What could be worse?” to ramp up the fear, suspense, and dread in the scene.
EXT- BACK YARD – DAY
A frantic Maria runs outside, looking for Bonita. Angry grey black clouds joist in the sky, blotting out the sun.
MARIA
Bonita! Bonita!
She searches under the bushes, by the fence, and near the house.
The wind kicks up and blows the desert sands and the many tumbleweeds at the end of the yard. The tumbleweeds roll around and smack into each other; it’s like tumbleweed bumper car.
A huge murder of big black crows swirls overhead, cawing and cackling. One at a time, the crows land on the fence and sit, shoulder to shoulder.
The crows silently watch as Maria continues to hunt.
MARIA
Bonita! Chiquita!
Near the house, Maria spies another pile of sun bleached bones. Using a found branch, she digs around the bones and unearths the skull of a possum.
A crow leans forward, back, and CAWS loudly. Several others mimic the first and more join in. Soon all the fence sitting crows are CAWING and bobbing and dipping. Maria waves the branch at the birds.
MARIA
SHOO!
The birds CAW even louder, bobbing frantically.
MARIA
¡VETE!
Maria lobs the stick at the lead bird, who jumps as the stick hits the fence. Pissed, the lead bird CAWS and flies at Maria. The other birds follow, forming a black swirling mass.
Arms over her face and head, Maria crouches. As they swirl above her, the birds vomit, regurgitating bones and liquid.
A few birds dive bomb Maria, who now hugs the ground.
A low whistle, and the birds tight swirl widens. With a mighty flapping of wings, the birds fly off. A petrified and bird vomit covered Maria cautiously uncovers her face and looks up.
Using her T-shirt, she quickly wipes at the bird vomit. And sees faint dog foot prints in the sand.
Cautiously, she stands and looks at the trail of dog footprints. They end in a small metal shed.
Slowly, Maria follows the footprints to the shed. It is secured with a padlock.
MARIA
Bonita?
Faint scrabbling and scratching noises from inside the shed. Slightly relieved, Maria twists and turns, the padlock, attempting to break it free.
MARIA
Ya voy. Chiquita!
After a minute of manipulating the uncooperative padlock, she steps back . Reflexively, she rubs at a splat of vomit on her arm. Her hand hits the key ring tied to her wrist.
MARIA
Ay…
Maria studies the keys and tries the smallest one. The key goes in the padlock, but it won’t turn. Again she studies the keys. More faint scratches from inside the shed.
Selecting another small key, Maria carefully inserts it into the padlock. The hasp snaps free and Maria slides open the door. A click and a swoosh.
Suspended from a rope, a cow skull swings free into the open door. Maria ducks as it just clears her head. Terrified, she crab crawls backwards.
After several decelerating arcs, the cow skull stops, trembling slightly.
With dread, Maria creeps forward.
MARIA
Bonita? Baby?
Maria stares into the dimly lit shed, focusing on the concrete floor. The clouds part, and an angry ray of orange sunshine lights the darkened shed.
Festooned with spent red candles, bones, and feathers, a faded pentagram is painted on the floor. Centered in the pentagram, on an upside down cross is a dead Bonita.
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Tom’s) Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned: Dialing up the emotions, including not only action, but a suggestion of impending danger, is key to increasing the Act 2 horror.
FEAR:
INT. NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – DAY
The terrified crew remaining are gathered in the assembly area. The Captain, also shaken, whispers to them.
CAPT. VANDERPOOL
Calm down, Calm down… Quiet!
Thanks to Angel’s quick thinking, in spite of its ability to camouflage itself,
we know where the creature is– the reactor room– and have sealed it off.
ANGEL
(whispering)
Actually, using its heat signature was all Ray Ray.
Ray Ray looks at the floor. The Captain ignores her comment.
CAPT. VANDERPOOL
…So I’m looking for one or two brave volunteers to open the portal and release this tank of liquid oxygen on it.
RAY RAY
Once its frozen, we figure we can fire it out of a torpedo tube.
CAPT. VANDERPOOL
Any volunteers?
A few, including Angel, tentatively raise their hands.
CAPT. VANDERPOOL
Okay Angel will unseal the portal and freeze it.
First Mate Quantrell Jefferson’s hand remains raised. CU, we can see it shaking.
JEFFERSON
…And I’ll blast the motherfucker out da ship.
Applause and nervous laughter from many of the crew.
CAPTAIN VANDERPOOL
Quiet!
Okay, good. Please prepare yourselves. We will keep all comms open.
You two are ordered to report any issues on the double,
to secure the crew and the ship. Understood?
ANGEL & JEFFERSON
Aye aye, Skipper.
SUSPENSE:
INT. PORTAL ENTRANCE – REACTOR ROOM – NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – LATER
Angel, armed with the Liquid Oxygen cannister and wearing IR goggles, approaches the entrance. Behind her a several paces lurks a terrified Jefferson pulling a utility wagon.
ANGEL’S POV: Seen through the infrared goggles, Angel’s green hands turns a green stainless steel wheel, unsealing the portal.
INT. REACTOR ROOM- NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – SAME
ANGEL
I’m inside. Seal it.
EXT.PORTAL – REACTOR ROOM – NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – SAME
Jefferson turns the wheel the other way. Angel is sealed in.
INT. REACTOR ROOM- NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – SAME
She slinks along a wall of hydraulic pipes.
ANGEL’S POV: In infrared green, we see the creature’s profile nestled among them. It doesn’t seem to see her.
She lunges forward, firing the trigger of the LOX cannister. The creature writhes, opens its hideous mouth full of circular buzzsaw teeth, and utters a high-pitched scream. THUD. The frozen thing falls to the deck.
ANGEL
Unlock the portal.
EXT.PORTAL – REACTOR ROOM – NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – SAME
Jefferson turns the wheel. Angel hurries out of the portal and tosses the empty cannister on the deck. Jefferson stands before the portal, his hands visibly shaking the handle of the wagon.
DREAD:
JEFFERSON
W-Why didn’t it attack you?
ANGEL
I have no idea.
JEFFERSON
W-What if it thaws?
ANGEL
Better dump it quick, in case it does.
Jefferson slowly pulls the wagon toward the portal.
JEFFERSON
Y-Y-Yeah.
INT. REACTOR ROOM – NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – LATER
Jefferson, his eyes wide with fear, drags wagon containing the frozen creature behind him, headed for the torpedo bays. The creature twitches slightly.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by Tom Freyer.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by Tom Freyer.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 6 months ago by
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M. Morgan’s Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
I learned to make what could be a terrifying situation and escalate it further. It also sets up the audience emotions for the full out horror show about to be unleashed (now, I just got to figure out how to make the story do that).
INT. CAVE – NIGHT
Dark and foreboding. Katie ignites her phone light but her battery is nearly dead. Katie leads Megan and Maddy along, holding hands so they don’t lose each other.
The Sasquatch BREATHES. It’s at the opening. Katie shoves her phone in her pocket but doesn’t think to shut it off. Everything in them wants to SCREAM but they suppress their desire, and move along, in more of a panic, and sweating with anxiety.
It steps inside. The girls can feel it. They’re trapped, and a Sasquatch bars their escape.
Megan sees the light in Katie’s pocket.
MEGAN
(whispers)
Katie, I can see the light in your pocket.
Katie fumbles to extinguish it but has no time since Maddy pushes them forward.
MADDY
Hurry, you guys.
MEGAN
Back off, will you, we’re not going to get anywhere any faster.
MADDY
Switch me, then, and see how you like being the first picking.
KATIE
Shut up. I feel something, a tunnel, perhaps.
MADDY
What do you mean, perhaps?
KATIE
Don’t have my light, now, do I?
They tuck down the tunnel but it’s a dead end. They crouch and try to remain silent but they realize, they’re not the only quiet ones. They are in the dark, trapped, and no idea where the Sasquatch is.
Then, BREATHING with an angry SNARL to follow. Whatever it’s doing, it’s threatening.
MEGAN
That’s not coming from where we were. It’s deeper.
KATIE
You think it passed us?
MADDY
We’re dead.
KATIE
Quiet.
MADDY
You don’t think that thing can smell us? I never thought I’d die this way. I’m supposed to be old, beautiful and have a peaceful sleep.
MEGAN
It doesn’t have to smell us when it can listen to you freak out.
KATIE
Besides, I doubt few die the way they hope, because for most, not dying would be ideal.
No sound from the Sasquatch, then…
THWOCK. A rock smashes against the wall. It does so again and again.
MEGAN
Use your light. See if there’s anything we can see.
Katie moves but her hand feels something on the ground. She nudges Megan.
KATIE
I feel something.
She manages to pull her phone out of her pocket, light still on but her phone’s almost dead. Then, she sees it. Bones!
She backs away, Maddy screams, and the Sasquatch sounds angry and about to get them. Katie spins and her phone light captures eye-shine as the light goes out. The phone dies. The irony’s not lost on Katie.
More GROWLS, WHOOPS, and SNARLS. More than one. A fight. Two beasts, one against the other. The girls can’t see, but hear every terrifying moment.
Megan urges them on, they have to get past and sneak out.
Maddy’s not moving but Megan and Katie put her between them and move her along.
Right as Megan’s about to make the turn out of the tunnel, the hair of one of the Sasquatches brushes her and she freezes. It moves past, again, back into battle, and Megan moves.
They go from crawling to jumping up and sprinting, falling once or twice, but seeing the entrance and going for it.
Right near it, near freedom, fresh air, and no bones but their own.
EXT. CAVE
They make it they’re not the only ones. A Sasquatch barrels out, ferocious and haggard. It looks at them and turns its back to them.
Now they know why. Another Sasquatch appears. It threatens them. It wants to hurt them. The one with its back to the girls, protects them, which is good since they can’t move.
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Karen Crider’s Level 2 Emotions. #11.
What I learned: That I love to write. I may not always know where I’m going, but who does? Thanks for these insights, long may they serve my purpose in screenwriting.
Act two: Chron rents a farmhouse.
Isolated: Chron moves in alone. The vampire, Barnaby trails him. Benny’s hospitalized. His brother, Allen’s dead, and so is Mable.
Horror situation: The farmhouse is drab. Lifeless. Cold. No neighbors, no birds, no wildlife.
Denial: Chron weeps on his hands and knees, as he scrubs floors.
His tears rain in the scrub water as he tries to find daylight.
CHRON
(emphatically)
Like it or not, this is my home.
Horror situation: When he awakes the next day, the house is back to its drab form, as if the house devours whatever tries to change it.
Monster reveal: Barnaby, himself, resists change. He savors drab. He’s hoping Chron may lead him to Hawk…
Reaction reveal: when Barnaby leaves, the house returns to its painted form, but the dark shadows deny it.
Denial: The house has been the domicile of vampires for some time. At night, lights switch off and on. The wind moans inside the chimney. Acrid wood tailings scent the room with only dust motes for family. Mice are take-out for vampires. Not even they scuttle the corners or corridors of the dead/undead house.
Chron denies it all. To him, the farmhouse is Home Sweet Home.
Stem outline converts to screenplay:
INT./EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
Chron moves into an affordable farmhouse, alone. Barnaby, a covert vampire trails him.
Mabel is dead. His nephew, Alan Eaton is also, while Alan’s brother, Benny, is hospitalized.
Barnaby, a master vampire, is a high priest of time– something we all serve. He prefers a
dark residence, anything to ward off the sun.
The vampire makes himself comfortable as he watches the old guy slave. He closes his eyes; Chron may serve as a tasty snack if he gets hungry.
The slap of Chron’s paint brush scraping a wall breaks the silence. It’s solemn grayness peeks through the fresh, green paint, determined, not to be replaced so easily.
Chron flies off the ladder onto the floor, with nothing to induce his fall. He picks himself up searching for what happened. Paint dashes the floor. Chron sighs,. He cleans it up and quits for the day.
INT. FARMHOUSE – THE NEXT DAY
The paint bleeds through, spattering its substance, stark and unyielding.
EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
Weeds billow the wind. The out buildings lean into it as if it’s a habit.
No birds light the fences.
INT. FARMHOUSE – NIGHT
The wind moans inside the chimney like the living dead.
Acrid remains of spent fires spite the house with their scent.
Not even mice sprint across the corridors of Chron’s farmhouse.
For they are not as low on the food chain as man…
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Karen Crider’s Level 2 Emotions. #11.
What I learned: That I love to write. I may not always know where I’m going, but who does? Thanks for these insights, long may they serve my purpose in screenwriting.
Act two: Chron rents a farmhouse.
Isolated: Chron moves in alone. Barnaby, (the vampire) trails him. Benny’s hospitalized, Allen’s dead, and so is Mable.
Horror situation: The farmhouse is drab. Lifeless. Cold. No neighbors, no birds, no wildlife.
Chron weeps as he scrubs floors. What has happened to his life?
His tears rain in the scrub water as he tries to find daylight.
CHRON
(emphatically)
Like it or not, this is my home.
-Horror situation: The night before, the lights cut on and off, waking him. Must be some electrical problem. He stumbles into the colder than usual kitchen, searching for coffee.
The house has reverted back to its drab form, as if it devours whatever tries to change it.
Monster reveal: Barnaby resists change. He savors drab. Chron may lead him to Hawk…
Reaction reveal: when Barnaby leaves, even the dark shadows deny the house shape-shifts to its painted form.
-The house has been the domicile of vampires for some time.
-At night, lights switch off and on. The wind moans inside the chimney. Acrid wood tailings scent the room with only dust motes for family. Mice are take- out for vampires. Not even they scuttle the corners or corridors of the dead/undead house.
2<sup>ND</sup> SUBMISSION. Left out a couple things… The writing makes ne forget everything. Thanks…
Chron denies it all. To him, the farmhouse is Home Sweet Home.
Stem outline converts to screenplay:
INT./EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
SUSPENSE/ DREAD: Chron moves into a bereft farmhouse, alone. Barnaby, a covert vampire trails him.
Mabel is dead. His nephew, Alan Eaton is also, while Alan’s brother, Benny, is hospitalized.
Barnaby, a master vampire, is a high priest of time– something we all serve. He prefers a
dark residence, anything to ward off the sun.
DREAD: The vampire makes himself comfortable. He watches the old guy slave; he may serve as a tasty snack when he gets hungry.
The slap of Chron’s paint brush scraping a wall breaks the silence. The wall’s solemn grayness peeks through the fresh, green paint, as if determined, not to be replaced so easily.
FEAR: Chron flies off the ladder onto the floor, with nothing to induce his fall. He checks for broken bones, picks himself up ,rubbing his arm, trying to figure out what happened. Paint dashes the floor. Chron cleans it up and quits for the day.
INT. FARMHOUSE – THE NEXT DAY
FEAR: The paint bleeds through, spattering its substance, stark and unyielding–
no matter how many coats of paint he applies.
EXT. FARMHOUSE – DAY
SUSPENSE: Weeds billow the wind. Broken down out-buildings lean into it.
No birds light the fences. No peace greets his day. Can it ever?
INT. FARMHOUSE – NIGHT
FEAR: The wind moans inside the chimney like the living dead.
Acrid remains of spent fires spite the house with their remnants
DREAD: No mice sprint the corridors of Chron’s farmhouse.
They are not as low on the food chain as man…is he next?
Chron’s denies it all. He tries to be positive.
The farmhouse can be Home Sweet Home…
with just a little work.
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Brett Born’s Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is the way different emotions are used to build the tension of the story. Even though you could use any of these emotions anywhere in the script, it’s interesting to think about using certain ones in clusters to achieve a desired effect.
Fear: Christine tries to warn the others that something’s wrong and they need to go. No one’s listening.
Suspense: The girls are locked in the bathroom. The killer is outside. Hannah tries to call 9-1-1 but she gets transferred to a different county.
Dread: The killer has broken the bathroom lock. He’s coming inside.
INT. LADIES ROOM – NIGHT
Lauren and Alyxx stand at the sinks. Lauren fixes her hair. Alyxx checks her makeup.
The door swings open. Christine rushes inside.
CHRISTINE – We need to go.
ALYXX – Aren’t we supposed to do some interviews or something?
Lauren’s phone vibrates. She opens it.
Lauren’s phone. An intermission ad plays.
LAUREN – Did y’all get this?
Christine and Alyxx check their phones.
ALYXX – What does this mean?
Door swings open. The girls all jump. Hannah enters.
LAUREN – Hey, hun, did you get a message… like an old drive-in ad about visiting the lobby?
HANNAH – Nope.
Hannah heads straight to the accessible stall at the end of the row.
LAUREN – Was anyone in the lobby?
HANNAH – Nope.
Hannah slams the door shut. Locks it.
LAUREN – My new bestie.
The lights go out.
HANNAH (O.S.) – That’s not funny!
LAUREN (yells) – Keep your pants on, hun!
CHRISTINE – It’s him.
ALYXX – Who?
THREE KNOCKS at the door.
LAUREN – Who’s at the door?
CHRISTINE (whispers) – Quiet.
LAUREN – I’m not in a mood to play games.
Lauren marches to the door.
CHRISTINE (hisses) – No!
Lauren opens the door.
Buck stands in the shadows.
LAUREN – Can I help you?!
BUCK – I’m looking for someone.
LAUREN – Who are you looking for?
BUCK – I’ll know when I find her.
Lauren slams the door shut and locks the deadbolt. She turns back to Christine and Alyxx.
LAUREN – Who is that?!
CHRISTINE – Get away from the door.
KNOCK.
Hannah comes out of her stall.
HANNAH – Is this part of the show?
ALYXX – I don’t think so.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
BUCK (O.S.) – I need someone to burn with him!
Lauren backs away from the door.
LAUREN – What does he want?
CHRISTINE – A widow.
Lauren gives Alyxx a look. Confusion and terror all rolled into one.
LAUREN – We need to call the police.
Lauren pulls out her phone. Tries to dial.
LAUREN – It’s not working!
CHRISTINE – Our phones don’t work.
LAUREN – Why not?!
Hannah exits the stall.
HANNAH – It’s the MDM… it’s blocking your signals.
Hannah pulls out her phone. Dials…
CHRISTINE– What are you doing?
HANNAH – Calling nine-one-one.
CHRISTINE – But the MDM…
HANNAH – I didn’t download it.
CHRISTINE – My dad’s a cop! Call him!
HANNAH – What’s his number?
Christine thinks.
CHRISTINE – Call nine-one-one!
OPERATOR (O.S.) – Nine-one-one… what is your emergency?
HANNAH – Help us! We’re trapped in a bathroom, and there’s a crazy man outside!
BANG. BANG. Door rattles.
LAUREN – We need to hide.
Hannah runs to the accessible stall at the far end. Slams the door… CLICK.
CHRISTINE – Hannah? That lock won’t stop him.
HANNAH (O.S.) – Leaving it open will?!
Hannah’s Stall. She pushes against the door. Checks the window behind her.
HANNAH – Are you sending someone now?!
OPERATOR (O.S.) – You’ve contacted Weld county… I have to transfer you to Boulder county…
HANNAH – Wait… what?!
The main door. A brassy SNAP. The deadbolt on the main door breaks…
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Tasha’s Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is the level 2 emotions really ramp up the terror of a scene.
Write a scene that uses all three of these horror emotions: Fear, Suspense, Dread.
1. Look through your Act 2 scenes and pick one that you would like to write through all three emotions. It very likely will be a scene where some kind of horror action begins.
INT. LIV’S APARTMENT – DAY
Jean Tyrone hears Jade calling for help.
2. Brainstorm the scene to emphasize the Level 2 emotions and write it.
Complete
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