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Lesson 10
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Tom’s Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned: Writing to these prompts produced, IMHO, a pretty scary scene!
EXT./INT. NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – DAY
Somewhere deep in the Sea of Japan.
The crew assembles in the briefing area facing CAPTAIN TAYLOR VANDERPOOL, 60, Executive Officer (XO) JOSH HARTNETT, 42, Chief Warrant Officer CWO ANGEL HIDALGO, 30, AND Chief Petty Officer (CPO) RAY RAY DELACORT, 33.
Angel, the first female to pass BUDS and become a Navy Seal, approaches Captain Vanderpool and salutes, as he unlocks a vault and reaches for its contents.
ANGEL
Sir, we were all so sorry to hear about the unexpected loss of your son. If there’s anything–
CAPT. VANDERPOOL
Thank you, Angel, and everyone, for your condolences. I… I’ll be okay.
XO JOSH HARTNETT whispers to RAY RAY.
HARTNETT
OD’d… fentanyl.
RAY RAY
I heard. Jesus.
The Captain unseals an envelope marked “TOP SECRET” and reads their orders.
CAPT. VANDERPOOL
We’re to observe Silent Running protocols. Pyongyang has sub hunters looking for us. It could get real hairy real fast. So don’t even sneeze, ya feel me? Questions?
He look around at worried faces of the crew.
CAPT. VANDERPOOL
Remember, we’re already violating a treaty with China… Okay, back to your stations.
INT. MEDICAL LAB – NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – LATER
Chief Medical Officer DR. RAJIT PATEL, 45, stares at an exterior monitor. ON MONITOR: A crashed UAP lies embedded in the sea floor. Something swirls close in. Dr. Patel stands.
Suddenly, an alien face, one of the “greys” –minus an eye — fills the screen!
DR. PATEL
Aaughh!
Dr. Patel stares at the crash scene, with more alien cadavers floating around it. He punches some numbers on the intercom, preses a button marked SHARE MONITOR. XO Hartnett watches the alien tableau, fascinated.
CAPT. VANDERPOOL, O.S.
Bridge.
DR. PATEL
Sir, as you can see, some sort of UAP crash site.
CAPT. VANDERPOOL, O.S.
Jesus. Must be my lucky day.
DR. PATEL
Sir, requesting permission to use the mini to collect a specimen.
CAPT. VANDERPOOL, O.S.
Request denied. Adhere to mission.
DR. PATEL
But sir–
CAPT. VANDERPOOL, O.S.
Denied. That is all.
DR. PATEL
Well, I guess–
Hartnett flashes CIA credentials.
HARTNETT
The agency approves recovering a specimen. As long as you can avoid contaminating the ship–
DR. PATEL
— It will never enter the ship. I’ll inspect it on the dry dock.
HARTNETT
Then you have our blessing. Keep me in the loop.
He exits Dr. Patel’s lab.
EXT. NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – LATER
Dr. Patel operates the mini-sub over the crash site. He collects one of the alien cadavers in a forklift-like tool.
EXT. NUCLEAR SUBMARINE DRY DOCK – LATER
Dr. Patel drains the dry-dock and places the alien cadaver on a stainless steel examination table. He speaks into a handheld recorder.
DR. PATEL
Subject appears deceased. Missing right eye. Wound resembles bovine mutilations in Montana. Those were missing adrenal glands as well.
INT. PASSAGEWAY- NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – SAME
Hartnell walks toward Chief Osmond’s cube.
INT. SUBMARINE – LATER
Dr. Patel returns. Through the glass to dry dock, he can see the Alien cadaver is gone! He panics, calls XO Hartnett, who visits with Chief Engineer DAVE OSMOND. Dr. Patel enters dry dock. Something locks the door from inside.
ON MONITOR SCREEN:
Hartnett and Osmond can see an object, somewhat camoflaged like hydraulic pipes, slithering toward Dr. Patel. Patel can’t hear them screaming his name into the intercom.
CHIEF OSMOND’S CUBE – NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – SAME
Hartnett tells Osmond to call the Captain, and then runs for the Dry-Dock.
INT. DRY DOCK- NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – SAME
DR. PATEL
AAAAUUUGHHHHH!
A worm-like creature attacks him, its spinning saw-blade teeth cutting a hole in his right eye. The worm dives into Dr. Patel’s writhing body just as Hartnett arrives. It eats its way through to his adrenal glands, and out…
Into a drainpipe and down a series of long plumbing pipes
INT. CAPTAIN’S OFFICE, SUBMARINE – SAME
Osmond explains what he saw on the monitor. Captain, shocked, demands proof. Osmond runs toward his cube, holding his gut.
INT. PASSAGEWAY HEAD (RESTROOM), SUBMARINE – SAME
Osmond hurries, pulls down his pants and sits on the toilet.
INT. PLUMBING PIPE – SAME
The worm swims toward a bright opening ahead.
INT. PASSAGEWAY HEAD – SAME
On Dave’s face as the worm enters his anus. Blood erupts from his mouth.
INT. NUCLEAR SUBMARINE – SAME
Hartnett, horrified, pulls an alarm. Mute red ceiling lights blink throughout the sub.
C/U on his face reveals his shock.
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Eve Williams’ Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is to include even minor foreshadowing elements that cause apprehension and fear in the characters. “
Outline of the scene:
Apprehension: Constant coyote howls, yips; rustling in the bushes; dust devil attack; sticks snapping.
Surprise: Alberto is surprised at Maria’s reticence for her new home; cell phone signal very difficult to find.
Shock: Bonita and Jesus’s primal fear of the new place; the small waving shadowy figure who waves to Jesus.
EXT- HOUSE – NIGHT
Cell phone in hand, Alberto goes outside into the blustery night. Creosote bushes rustle, and an alpha male coyote begins a group howl.
Jesus and Bonita stand near the truck. Bonita barks and whines as she attempts to get back in the truck. An exasperated Alberto, puts his phone in his pocket and motions to the dog.
ALBERTO
Make her pee and take her inside.
Bonita stands her ground, ignoring Jesus’ tugs. Alberto unloads boxes and trash bags from the truck’s bed; he shoves a bag toward Jesus’ free hand.
ALBERTO
Vamos Vamos Vamos
Dragging a whining Bonita, Jesus walks toward the house.
ALBERTO
Then come back and help.
A lazy dust devil meanders toward the motley stacks of belongings; it lurches toward Jesus and Bonita, causing both to jump. Staccato snapping of sticks, then the coyote howls crescendo
JESUS
I’m scared.
ALBERTO
You’re scared?
Of what?
Jesus shrugs. The lease pulls tight as Bonita pulls toward the safety of the truck.
ALBERTO
(In Spanish)
Mama’s boy.
(In English)
Don’t be a baby. Go on.
Dragging Bonita, Jesus heads for the front door. A low whistle from the frame stage house next door. A small shadowy figure waves.
Jesus stares, then raises his arm to wave. The figure is gone. Jesus leans forward and stops, searching for the figure. An exasperated Alberto throws up his hands in the air.
After a moment. Bonita in tow, Jesus slowly heads into the house.
Maria exits the house and picks up several small sacks near the truck. She watches as Alberto again tries for a cell signal. She jumps and shivers at the even louder coyote howls.
ALBERTO
Frio?
MARIA
Un porquito.
An involuntary shiver…
MARIA
The house is beautiful but…
She follows Alberto into the street as he attempts to locate more than one bar.
MARIA
It’s so far out. So far from…everyone.
And Jesus. Who will he play with?
Alberto motions down the street at the dimly lit homes.
ALBERTO
Neighbors. There’ll be kids his age.
Maria forces a tired smile and nods. Sacks in hand, she heads into the house.
ALBERTO
ARRIBA!
Nearly in the house, Maria jerks and quickly turns. Standing in the middle of the street, Alberto triumphantly raises his phone in the air.
ALBERTO
Two and a half bars!
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Kevin Lobo Level 1 Horror Emotions:
What I learned from this lesson…when you focus on a scene from a particular emotion, it completely changes your perspective and inspires you to create a scene with that emotion as the viewer would see… rather than just the story itself.
3-INT. A SECRET PARTY ROOM, bush logging CO. – NIGHT
A wireless Bluetooth speaker blasts at max volume – it’s deep bass thuds viciously. A powerful strobe light stabs the darkness of the room with bright flashes.
Chips, half eaten wings and empty beer bottles line the counter. Six teens, all 18, dance around it in a frenzy.
BRADLEY BUSH, large build, good looks and the most drunk, gyrates to the center.
Bradley
Bow to your leader, my subjects, I will be the first to be 19 tonight.
everyone
Hail, Bradley!
Bradley hugs everyone around. He reaches SARAH GILLESPIE last; she blushes. She is dark haired with a slim build. They break into a deep smooch.
JASON AND GLEN WAUGH, twins, small build, look on adoringly at Bradley and pat him on the back.
KIMBERLY GATTING, blonde, petite in a short party dress. Her hands feel for something in a little dress pocket. Her face goes serious, a deep sigh and a long exhale. She checks her iWatch – 11.30 pm – fearful.
She slams the speaker – silence. RUGH MIZRACHI, multi colored hair, purple lipstick and dark painted eyes swirls angrily.
Ruth
Bitch, turn it back —
KIMBERLY
This fucking sleepy town sucks!
Bradley
Let’s fucking wake it!
KIMBERLY
Paddington Road. Let’s wake those —
Jason
What’s with you and that cemetery, girl?
glen
Virgin wants to fuck a ghost!
Wild laughter as Kimberly furiously pounds Glen.
Ruth
Let’s take this party on the road.
They turn to Bradley… fumbling with a bunch of keys.
He goes off… returns with an impressive bottle in hand.
Bradley
Hennessy XO – special for tonight, gang. My old mans been saving it up for me!
They head out grabbing more beers and handfuls of chips.
4-exT. bush logging CO. parking lot – continuous
The top-down Impala shoots out, tires screech – six teens crammed inside, whooping and screaming.
Bradley drives, Sarah snuggled into him – next to them in front is Kimberly, eyes glued to the road. In the rear, Ruth in deep kisses with Glen and Jason alternately.
Kimberly
Right, turn right —
Bradley
Shut the fuck up, K, I know.
He turns hard on the steering. The impressive old Impala rocks, screeches and turns on to a dark, deserted and silent road, away from the town.
A short distance ahead on a turn is an arched gate – the cemetery entrance. It stands as an ominous, dark silhouette against the moonlit night.
5-exT. the cemetery gate – continuous
The Impala screeches to a halt. Bradley pauses, jumps out and runs to the gate. Jason and Glen follow.
Bradley
I need a fucking leak!
Jason and Glen
We too.
Kimberly
Pussies! Go in – I dare you!
Bradley
You think I’m fucking scared of —
Jason
UUUU! Ahhhh! I’m scared.
Eerie sounds from the boys… pretending to be scared.
Ruth jumps out, grabs Sarah and marches into the cemetery.
Kimberly’s face lights up. She draws out a hand written envelope – addressed to her. From it she draws a torn page with a strange language. She whispers it as a shiver shudders her body. She crosses her feet.
Kimberly
Fuck! Now I wanna pee too.
She jumps out and goes right back in. Bradley marches over.
Bradley
Who’s the pussy now?
He yanks her out of the car and marches into the cemetery past the twins. A serious look on their faces now.
Jason
Guys… this is it. Let’s not disturb —
glen
Yeah! Hey Dopes! Come back, we’re…
A disturbed bird screeches and flutters away noisily, startling them. They duck – fear on their faces.
Jason and Glen, shiver, turn to head back to the car when…
Kimberly and Bradley come running back, grab them and head back to the cemetery as mocking, moaning sounds from Ruth come from within.
All four freeze for a second before marching right ahead.
Jason
Bad idea.
Kimberly
Let’s wake the spirits.
Bradley
Yup! Cognac and the real spirits.
6-exT. the cemetery – continuous
Bradley, with a worried Sarah, cradled in one arm, and the Cognac in the other, dances all over singing.
Bradley
Happy Birthday to me… Happy 19…
Ruth continues her moaning sounds, abruptly stops as a beetle static squeals… a shiver. She turns and sees…
Jason and Glen hands clasped, slowly inching backwards.
Kimberly turns the page over and squints at it in the moonlight. On the back are two letter – J H. She heads further in, seems to know where she is headed.
She reaches a grave, no cross, just the initials J H on it.
Kimberly
Peeps, check this poor sucker, they forgot to give him a cross.
Ruth
Fuck him! I wanna go – this party just pooped!
Bradley
Fuck you all! It’s my birthday – I say we ring it in on that cross less dude.
Kimberly’s kneels by the grave and dusts it. She reads the page quietly as her whole body goes into a rigor. She does it again and jumps up shrieking in fear as…
Bradley grabs her from the back.
Bradley
Gotcha!
Kimberly screams. Turns around and punches him.
Jason, Glen and Ruth coming running over, Sarah follows.
Kimberly checks her watch… continues muttering louder.
Bradley
Time yet for my 19, K?
Jason
Let’s do it in the car.
GLEN
Yeah! Fuck this place, it’s —
Ruth
Dead, no alive, no… let’s just go!
The others nod, half turn… except Kimberly… as a low rustle sweeps through the cemetery floor. The fallen leaves stir from a silent wind that picks up strength. It goes around them in a circle.
Sarah hugs Bradley, teeth chattering… whispers…
Sarah
Baby, let’s go, I don’t like this… besides I have something special planned for you!
Jason
Guys, listen… listen… JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN!
A low droning sound fills the air. Kimberly leaps.
Kimberly
OMG, OMG… it’s my spell… the wind’s picked it… repeat after me, repeat —
glen
Shut up! Let’s go before it’s too…
kimberly
Just repeat after me… <CHANT TO BE ADDED>.
RUTH
I’m going…
Ruth begins to weeps bitterly… her tears streak her mascara down her face… looks ghostly now… Kimberly sees it… smiles.
Kimberly
Perfect! Form a circle… <CHANTING>.
Sarah
Shut her up… Shut that bitch…
Sarah tries to draw Bradley away but he breaks the circle and cracks open the Cognac.
Kimberly
No, don’t break the circle… <CONTINUES CHANTING>. Chant, chant it… groupies!
The group are slowly drawn in as Bradley passes the Cognac around. They sip it, reeling a bit as the Cognac hits them.
Silence. Everything dies down. They fall to their knees in relief, smiling. Sarah, crying, starts singing…
Sarah
Happy 19<sup>th</sup> to my Bradley…
They join in… the droning starts again…
Kimberly picks it up, sings the chant from the paper as their birthday song turns into a loud chant now.
The group dance in a circle around the grave chanting louder, and louder, competing with the…
The drone that gets louder than their voices. The circular wind gains strength – they cling on to each other for support, dust and leaves in their faces.
A BOOMING sound begins to echo. They chant, add a BOOM to their chant and it echoes back. They chant louder and the BOOM echoes back louder, until…
The ground erupts with a shudder… Jason screams…
Jason
Run, the fucking grave cracked.
Instead, Bradley goes right over the ruptured grave, takes a swig and pours some Cognac in.
Bradley
Welcome to my party, dope!
The grave fully erupts open now. Bradley is tossed away.
Fear fills Kimberly’s face, she chucks the envelope in – a desperate bid to undo something she knew could happen.
Jason grabs the hysterical Sarah and Ruth and runs.
Glen yanks Kimberly off the ground, reaches out to Bradley but is struck by a fierce kick from him.
Glen rises with Kimberly… begins to move back as he sees…
A demonic look on Bradley’s face who is rising slowly – being lifted by an unseen force. The storm intensifies.
A deadly scream from Kimberly echoes out across the cemetery and into the village as the Church clock strikes it usual midnight single gong – DONG in the distance.
Bradley’s arms are stretched out like a crucifixion. The bottle falls from his and shatters making the rest fall to the ground. His head is slapped from side to side, his eyes bursting out… bulging.
The group huddle, gripping each other. Sarah screams.
Sarah
Brad, Baby, stop, come down.
Bradley’s voice echoes out slowly changing from his usual voice to a deep throated voice.
Normal Voice Bradley
Happy Birthday to me!
Deeper Voice Bradley
Happy Birthday to me!
Very Bass Voice Bradley
Welcome to my party, dopes!
Jason and Glen try to go to Bradley again but are yanked back by the girls.
Bradley begins to float towards them… they run, instead…
The floating Bradley, in his crucified position is spun at right angles viciously. His face is slapped with loud spats from side to side. An invisible punch to his stomach, he doubles over in the air and throws up…
Sarah
Kimberly… do something… stop it!
Kimberly
I don’t know… it wasn’t supposed to…
Ruth
Please, please… whoever, let him go.
The invisible force slams Bradley into a tree, upside down…
Jason
To the car, run… run…
Very Bass Voice Bradley
Happy Birthday, y’all… soon!
The horrified group stare at each other numb and turn to flee when a loud groan from Bradley erupts… and then silence.
They run furious… unaware that a silent rustle in the path behind them, parting the leaves, follows.
Jason takes the wheel, as Sarah turns around for a last look when the silent force slams her in as Glen pulls the door shut. The Impala speeds away, tires screeching.
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M. Morgan’s Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene
I learned to heighten the intensity of events near the close of Act I, leading to the death of Danny and the turning point of being trapped. I made the characters more active and developed the different levels of stress to highlight there growing suspicions and uncertainties to really set up an atmosphere of horror.
INT. STONE RUINS – ABANDONED ROOM – DAY
Evening sets in and the group (Sam, Megan, Katie, Nate, Maddy, and Danny) look around.
MADDY
This is really starting to freak me out, guys.
NATE
Yeah, not liking this.
Sam examines the candles.
SAM
Looks recent. Whoever did this could still be hear.
Danny leaves the room.
NATE
Not cool, Sam. You can keep things like that to yourself.
SAM
What do you want me to say, Nate? Have a seat ’til the friendly—whatever it is—passes?
MEGAN
Sam’s right, we need to check things out. Get an idea of where we are.
They notice Danny gone.
KATIE
Where’s Danny?
NATE
Does no one ever remember that in these situations, NEVER go off alone?
SAM
Danny?
DANNY (O.S.)
Keep your panties on. There’s something here…
But before the others can join him, they hear whispers. They freeze, straining to hear.
KATIE
You all hear that, right? Sounds like—I don’t want to say it, but—it sounds like whispers.
Katie pulls out her phone and gets ready to record if they hear anything else.
MEGAN
We are in a heightened state of fear, we can’t trust anything we believe we hear or see. Doing so will trick our minds into misidentifying the rational explanation.
Maddy sees an inscription etched into the stone wall. Megan notices and joins her, using the light on her phone to get a better look.
MADDY
That’s a person, Megan, a person being offered, isn’t it?
MADDY
This is what I’m talking about. A drawing by someone bored, maybe a drunk kid or something.
More whispers. Katie records them.
DANNY (O.S.)
You guys might want to see this.
Sam about to join Danny, but Maddy stops him.
MADDY
Human sacrifice. It’s on the wall. You said these fires are recent. What if we’re lured here to be next.
SAM
No evidence of that, Maddy. We just need to calm ourselves and get more info before jumping to conclusions. If there was something wrong up hear, it’d be all over the news and social feeds. We’ll be okay.
Katie uses an app to slow the whisper down and magnify the sound. She puts it to her ear.
KATIE
You guys need to hear this.
She maxes the volume and plays the recording: “You shouldn’t be here. Go while your chance remains.”
NATE
Dude, that’s pretty specific, and I agree. Let’s get outta here.
MADDY
We can’t stay here.
MEGAN
Stay calm, alright. The folklore, the stories, we’re doing this to ourselves.
NATE
How’s that? Look around, we ain’t in Munchkin-land. Something is out there.
MEGAN
Yeah, it’s spooky here. It’s a creepy place. But that something is probably a bear or cougar.
MADDY
I’m not good with either of those. I really want to go.
MEGAN
Point is, there’s probably a cave nearby and we’re in wildlife territory. The berries are out, bears are out, mountain lions roam. We probably passed one and didn’t even know it.
MADDY
That’s unsettling.
MEGAN
As a group, we’ll most likely be safe.
NATE
Most likely? I love the certainty of a scientist.
MEGAN
You’re right, melodramatizing the situation if far more rational.
Danny walks back in.
KATIE
The recording proves it. Something otherly is out there.
DANNY
You comin’ or what?
Sam nods and he and Katie follow Danny.
MEGAN
You’re all losing your minds. I’ll prove it.
She whips out her phone to debunk Katie’s “proof.” But, as she records, she captures an unexplainable shadow passing past an opening outside.
Nate and Maddy need no further proof and they take off after Sam and the others. Megan feels uneasy and hurries after.
A CHAMBER
Danny uses his phone to light the ruins.
NATE
I’m starting to think we should phone for help, like the police or park authorities or something.
SAM
There has to be an actual emergency, not a feeling of dread or suspicion.
DANNY
You’re such a pansy, Nate. Grow a pair and hold the light so Sam and I can check this out.
NATE
I’ve got my own.
He takes his phone out and turns on the light.
Maddy and Katie do the same. Megan joins them.
KATIE
Looks like a nest.
Sam, Megan, and Danny slowly pull back branches. Danny grins. Does he actually delight in this? Sam doesn’t, though. He looks serious. Megan, too. They reveal…
BACKPACKS and other personal belongings. They rummage through and find IDs, some packs still have food in them.
SAM
This is recent.
Nate flips and drops his phone causing a small panic, in which he steps on his phone and breaks it.
NATE
Quick, quick. Give me some light.
Maddy complies as Nate laments his situation.
NATE
Great, O great, O great.
DANNY
Chill out, flower boy.
NATE
We are in a stone trap of death, with ritual who-knows-what, something lurking bear or otherwise, and my phone is damaged. We’ve got to go now.
MEGAN
That might not be so easy.
NATE
Can we do this closer to the exit, please.
They go back to the initial room.
ABANDONED ROOM
As they filter back in Megan sees it again, this time without her phone.
MEGAN
Something is out there, but I don’t know what. We need to go, before we’re completely trapped here in the dark.
NATE
No way, let’s go.
DANNY
Lead the way big man. Or you just gonna stand there, let the rest of us face the danger head on, eh?
NATE
I didn’t want to come on this stupid hike. I thought we were having lunch, that’s it. Not holding up in some creepy stone death trap with something uncertain outside.
DANNY
Then go on, take a look. No?
SAM
We need to go. I’m not happy about that stash, but we can phone it in once we get to safety. There could be a murderer about.
MADDY
Why would you say that?
KATIE
Or, it could be a Sasquatch.
MEGAN
Do you hear yourselves? Murderers and Bigfoots? This is what I’m talking about. We are adding to our own fears and beginning to intensify a danger that doesn’t really exist. The real danger is getting to the parking lot before it’s totally dark.
DANNY
Thanks, Sigmund. But someone should go first and by the looks of y’all, I might as well be the brave one.
SAM
That’s what we’re going to call it?
DANNY
After you then, hotshot. This is your adventure, ain’t it?
Sam hesitates.
SAM
What if it’s the person who did all this psycho Satanic stuff?
DANNY
Right. I’ll do a quick perimeter check and then we can hurry off, yeah?
No one answers so he strides out in full bravado.
EXT. STONE RUINS
In sight of them, Danny checks around, then looks with fear as he fumbles back and falls down.
He hears the tumult inside and laughs.
DANNY
You guys are so gullible. Grab your stones and let’s get marchin.’
INT. STONE RUINS – ABANDONED ROOM
SAM
Real funny. Well-played.
NATE
What a piece of—
MADDY
What? What is it?
Katie and Megan notice something.
MEGAN
There’s something out there. Can’t quite see it.
KATIE
What is that? Is that a person?
NATE
The murderer. I knew it.
EXT. STONE RUINS
Danny sees whatever it is. He’s not laughing, or pulling out as if it’s some gag. He sees something. We can’t make it out but he sees it, and he’s spooked. And then, he just SPRINTS.
INT. STONE RUINS – ABANDONED ROOM
They all hear something HUGE moving in the trees. Sam and Megan sprint out to get Danny.
EXT. STONE RUINS
They stop because they can’t catch him but see something, SOME PERSON in some sort of costume running after him but he keeps checking sideways, too, then he splits double-time into the trees.
Sam and Megan call to the others.
SAM
There’s a person out here.
MEGAN
Wearing a Bigfoot mask and costume.
INT. STONE RUINS – ABANDONED ROOM
NATE
We’re dead.
MADDY
That lady, that solo hiker. She warned us. She told us not to come here.
Sam and Megan rush back in.
SAM
Now’s our chance. Let’s go.
NATE
With that thing out there?
KATIE
What we heard wasn’t a person. It’s something much, much bigger.
SAM
We can’t leave him there. We gotta go, together. Come on.
Sam leads them out and though hesitant, the rest follow because no one wants to be stuck behind.
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Karen Crider’s Horror Emotion Scene
Act one: Apprehension/ shock/ horror
What I learned: I’ve changed several elements. I realized that horror is as real as the writing. It’s been a challenge, but I’m finally starting to like it a little. Lol. It’s hard to cross your own barriers of faith, to see how far you can go and still feel comfortable. I had to stop and start over several times because of that. But as writers, we should be able to write about anything, whether we use AI or not. I prefer not to… Thanks.
EXT. EKRON, MT. – NIGHT
V/O
A range of mountains and valleys coffin the tiny Montana village of Ekron, among two bars, a convenience store and an ancient, decrepit church.
During the week, fewer citizens visit the village, lending Ekron a ghost-town effect. No one realizes worse elements can invade making any village glad to welcome a ghost.
EXT. DECREPIT CHURCH – NIGHT
Inside the desolate village, the weedy lots, the cracked sidewalks, a somber figure staggers the darkness. Its piercing stare paralyzes two passerby’s–scattered grains of wheat, parched and dying along the wayside.
Fog puddles the rain accenting a figure staggering pitted church steps clutching a heavy sack full of souls past a bullet-holed door swinging on one hinge to allow the wind to reap the whirlwind.
Cobwebs flit back and forth, as if their inhabitants also perished with their faith.
The phantom mists a long, black cloak lapsing past beer bottles, cigarette butts, and mildewed pages of hymnals flagging the wind.
ALTAR
The phantom’s cloak dangles the floor against the base of a dry-rotted altar, caving in, as if the burden of sin finds it weight too heavy to bear.
He opens the bag of souls. A litany of moans and dirges cacophony the wind, raging forever in its storms, its hurricanes and blizzards.
INT. CHRON’S CLOCK SHOP – DAY
Down the road from the church, on the corner of Elm Street, the only business that remains is open all hours.
INT. CHRON’S CLOCK SHOP – DAY
A dusty, clock shop morphs with time. Its tools for furbishing and replacing worn clocks lie in disarray.
OFFICE
File cabinets and a scarred, oak desk holds customer orders, names, and phone numbers, gestating in a pile of unpaid bills.
CHRON CHRONSON, 49, owner of Chron’s Clock Shop, possesses a piercing stare, long beard, and an obsessive need to be on time wherever he’s going. He jumps when the hour hand strikes.
Gongs, chimes and bells toll. Cuckoos cuckoo, heavy pendulums swing back and forth, displaying their oppressive ticking.
Chron nephews: ALAN EATEN, 22, a devious brother on the search for an easy buck and an easier way to find it, fist bumps BENNY EATEN, 17, Allen’s inept, retarded brother, tennis-shoed in boredom, as he swings a broom across the floor unsettling dust.
MABEL CRONSON, 43, Chron’s wife, A drab, woman who’s seldom on time for anything, retrieves the mail, including bills. She enters the office sneezing. She scowls at Benny.
MABEL
For crying out loud, open a window!
She hands the bills to Chron, except one she opens herself.
MABEL
(dryly)
Which ones do we pay this month?
CHRON
We do the best we can, Mabel.
MABEL
Tell that to the bank— here’s a
second reminder on the shop payment.
(she hands it to Chron)
He gazes at their meager clock order sheet, tacked against the cracked, plaster wall. A line intensifies upon his forehead. He crumples the bill, slinging it hard into the garbage.
Allen nudges Benny toward the door. They wander outside.
ALLEN
(lowers his voice)
Stick the shovel in the truck.
Let’s go treasure hunting.
BENNY
Do we hafta’?
ALLEN
What are ya, chicken?
APPREHENSION/ ANXIETY
Allen spits.
BENNY
A little. Last time, I think sumpthin’s
watches us–sumpthin’ scary.
Benny frowns. His bottom lip trembles. His eyes wide with fear.
BENNY
I scared.
ALLEN
Now there you go, talking
about something not there.
Laughing, Allen pats him on the back.
ALLEN
Chill, man! The only thing
scary is the old folks.
(he chuckles)
Grab the shovel!
They drive south of the village and walk another mile. An ominous wind blows. A wolf howls. Fog clots the air. Allen’s metal detector pings, only for several digs to prove futile.
INT. CORNFIELD – DAY
The metal detector pings constantly in a field. Allen helps for a few minutes leaving Benny to dig for hours.
Allen leaves the truck door open. He sprawls on the seat, snoring.
BENNY
Allen wakeup! When’s your turn? I’m tired.
Allen snoozes. He stretches and yawns.
ALLEN
If you want to get rich, you
have to do your share.
BENNY
(indignant)
That’s what you always say, but
you never help with nuthin’!
Benny’s keeps digging. His hands red and sore.
His shovel THUDS against something hard. It unearths dry rotted boards and pulverized wood.
ALLEN
This is a grave.
BENNY
Let’s git’ outta’ here.
ALLEN
Give me that shovel!
He digs till he shatters the boards., knocking
Loose a skeleton. Something wedges in the breast bone.
BENNY
I don’t like this. I’m leaving!
ALLEN
S- S-TOP!
(HORROR)
An ominous wind blows. Fog wisps the air. A bat rises from the grave. A blood-curdling howl drowns Allen’s terrified screams as a vampire attacks. Its shadow enlarges to a gargantuan size. Allen screams.
Benny picks up a thick bough. He circles the vampire, HAWK. His bloody maw and glittering eyes scan every move Benny makes.
Hawk lunges at Benny but misses. It turns its attention back to its feast.
A clock’s gongs like its tolling the dead. The vampire startles and drops Allen’s head. It rolls downhill, dropping like a rock. Hawk scuttles after the skull.
SHOCK:
Benny waits for Hawk to leave; he runs to steal the clock. He slips and slides on Allen’s blood. Benny jumps into the truck and locks the doors.
The vampire howls in rage. Rattling the door handles. A fang gnashes metal. Hawk’s HOWLING sounds like it’s from the pits of hell.
BENNY turns over the motor. It floods.
The engine finally engages. Benny has no clue how to drive. He flies off the road careening into the ditch.
The vampire follows at high speed. SCREECHING. Benny knocks Hawk off as he flies cross country crashing through gates. He runs over a sheep, and invades chicken coops. Feathers stick to Allen’s blood.
A farmer shoots bullets through the cab.
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Brett Born’s Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is how to identify the subtle differences between the various emotions and feelings I hope to evoke from an audience.
Apprehension/Anxiety: Curiosity over the VW Bug parked oddly at the back of the lot.
Surprise: The children setting off fireworks by the truck/Sudden pops and bangs of the fireworks show
Shock: Buck stabs Jim
EXT. HOLIDAY THEATER – LOT 1 – NIGHT
A chain link fence separates the parking area from a forested perimeter.
The VW BUG is parked parallel to the fence.
Jim notices the odd positioning of the Bug at the back of the lot.
Fireworks pop overhead. The light bathes Jim’s face in reds, blues, and greens. He takes in the sights.
Jim looks back to the Bug. On the ground next to the passenger side… a dark mound.
‘Oooh’s’ and ‘Ahhh’s’ can be heard all around. Jim looks up to the sky. Then back to the Bug.
A FIGURE… kneels over the dark mound. As the intensity of the light grows brighter, the dark mound becomes identifiable… a BODY.
A smattering of applause from the crowd. Cheers. Laughter.
Jim heads for the Bug.
POP. Three BANGS. Jim jumps. Spins around.
A GROUP OF CHILDREN play beside a truck. They light their own various fireworks… sparklers, poppers and snakes.
Jim turns back to the Bug. The body is gone. But someone sits in the passenger seat.
A momentary pause in the show. The lot goes dark.
Excited whistles and shouts from the onlookers.
BAM! BAM! BAM! The sky explodes in a colorful display. Sparks rain down on the parking area.
Smoke streams from inside the Bug.
Jim quickens his pace. Breaks into a run.
VW BUG. Jim rushes to the passenger side. Throws the door open.
Orthodontic Girl. She’s unconscious.
A fire burns in the back of the car. Flames lick the glass.
Jim dives inside. Coughs violently. The black smoke intensifies and rolls from the open door.
Jim emerges from the smoke. Drags Orthodontic Girl away from the Bug.
JIM – Fire! Everyone get out! Get out!!!
The fireworks show is at its crescendo. It’s loud. No one can hear Jim scream.
Behind Jim… Buck. His face smeared in blood from his forehead to the top of his cheekbones.
THE BUTTERFLY KNIFE. Opens with a quickdraw… deftly drops the bite handle… swings the bite handle up… flashes the blade.
Buck thrusts the knife into Jim’s side. Jim staggers sideways. Buck stabs Jim in the stomach… yanks the knife straight down.
Jim turns white. Grips his stomach. Tries to hold his intestines inside.
JIM – Everyone needs to leave. Go home.
Jim staggers away… weaves between the cars. Stumbles to the middle of the lot… tries to open a car door… it’s locked… he climbs onto the hood of the car… pounds on the windshield.
JIM – Help me!
Buck crawls onto the car hood… his eyes glow beneath the blood mask. He kneels behind Jim.
Buck stabs Jim in the back. Again and again. It’s a relentless onslaught.
The fireworks show ends.
Jim tries to stand… blood runs from the corners of his mouth… he loses his feet… crashes onto the hood.
Buck wipes his bloody blade on Jim’s pants… flips his wrist deftly and closes the Butterfly Knife. Slips it back into his pocket.
Jim stares into the windshield. Places his hand flat against the glass.
JIM – Bunny.
Jim exhales violently… spits a splattering of blood across the windshield.
SCREAMS. Frantic cries for help dot the parking lot.
The MOVIE SCREEN. Images of dancing SODA POP BOTTLES and singing CANDY BARS…
INTERMISSION – Let’s all go to the lobby… Let’s all go to the lobby… Let’s all go to the lobby… And get ourselves a treat!
UNKNOWN POV. Jim lies on the hood… stares blankly into the car.
Buck disappears amongst the chaos.
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Tasha’s Level 1 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is how easy it was to elevate the horror in my scene by just weaving the three emotions.
Write a scene that uses all three of these horror emotions.
1. Pick a scene that you could write from the first Act of your story.
The scene where Qade and Faye pick up the group, including Jade.
2. Create an outline of the scene that includes each of these emotions — apprehension/anxiety, surprise, and shock.
Complete
3. Write the scene as a first draft.
Complete
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