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Lesson 8
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Lynn Writes Great Hope/Fear
WHAT I LEARNED DOING THIS ASSIGNMENT IS coming up with more emotional ways to present the flow of action and dialogue. Doing so also covers up exposition a bit; emotional dialogue can make it so we can skip certain action scenes & reduce pages (I’m thinking Quint’s monologue in JAWS that packs a lot of fear and makes us visualize, as if we actually saw it). I also came up with more ideas for the script.
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Concept: When the third elder massacre flares up, an old man must fight back to protect his family.
Main Conflict: Between Lew and himself (regrets), between Lew and Josh & Megan (for different reasons), and MAINLY between a wise elder (Lew) and elder killers (Roz and Hillard).
ACT 1
DESPAIR: Lew, age 87, is like a repentant monk in a monastery, a hiding place in grandson Josh’s home
INCOMPATIBILITY, SOME HOPE: He overhears Megan (Josh’s wife) complain about Lew, that there won’t be enough rations when their baby come. Fight between Josh & Megan.
HOPE: Josh enters and encourages Lew, says he’s already done great things in life & deserves to live.
DESPAIR: Lew says he’s gonna die soon anyway & doesn’t want to be a burden or draw trouble from authorities to them. He agrees that the “elderly camps” Megan mentioned are actually death camp.
HOPE, sort of: Lew sees Josh, who loves him very much, is upset & sooths him saying he’ll make his decision later, much, much later.
WOUNDS: Meanwhile in the Local Rations Department: Roz, Chief Rations Recipients (Rat-Res) Inspector, discusses problems with Hillard, her young, hot-headed assistant, bringing in their wounds from climate change harming their loved ones.
PSYCHOLOGICAL/IDEOLOGICAL ISSUES (that make Roz seem the more formidable of this pair): Roz tells of her hero, JERROD ISAACS, the legendary leader of the original geronticide of 2049 – his writing, Doomer, re his ideology and techniques.
DANGEROUS/RESTRICTING/NOT LIVABLE: They get a call from their superior: they will have to find a way to cut rations, with food supplies dwindling faster than expected.
INCITING INCIDENT
INCREASING TENSION: Roz makes an appointment to visit/inspect Josh and Megan.
UNPREDICTABILITY: Josh & Megan have to make sure Lew is well hidden
TURNING POINT 1
THREAT: Rations inspectors arrive at Josh’s home & Hillard makes threatening comments, checking around the house.
HOPE: Roz takes control, tamps down Hillard, and acts very pleasantly, putting them at ease.
NOT LIVABLE: Roz says sorry, they cannot give more rations to Megan bec she’s pregnant, and even the food for her child will be barely enough. The whole world is running short on food.
THREAT: Roz also mentions that they need to find all the elderly and trot them off to an elderly camp, where they’ll be given less rations – Hillard: “until they die. Hopefully sooner than later.”
ACT 2
DANGER: After the inspectors leave Josh tells Lew and Megan he does buy it, remembering the earlier geronticides
INCOMPATABILITY: There’s a big fights between Megan & Josh, with Lew thinking of leaving & letting them have more.
HOPE-NEW PLAN: Josh puts down his foot; Lew and Megan agree to see how it goes with Lew’s new horticultural efforts and their rations.
DESPAIR: Lew says “I don’t really deserve it,” but reluctantly acquiesces to Lew’s solution.
HOPE: Lew happily works on the indoor garden
TURNING POINT 2
IMPENDING DOOM: Josh receives a call that they have information that he is harboring an eldering person, which could endanger his entire family.
MORE DANGER – UNPREDICTABILITY: They also find out there’s elderly killings – the start of another geronticide??
ACT 3
OPPOSING NEEDS/DESIRES/REGRETS: Megan admits she informed on Lew, thinking it best for all & didn’t realize Josh, she & baby would also be in jeopardy.
HOPE: Lew suggests they fight (note the real Lew was a pacifist). They start setting up the house with booby traps, making a 2ndary hiding place (so they can admit they did have an elderly, but he died and they were afraid to tell).
IMCOMPATIBILITY: Josh begins wondering how Lew knows all the tactics and has horded various arms – it doesn’t fit the writings about his grandfather.
THREAT to RELIEF: Heavy knock against the door (real fright) – false alarm, it’s a branch that flew against it in the storm.
TURNING POINT 3
TICKING CLOCK: Roz and Hillard barge in, case the house, take Josh & Megan as hostages (with pitiful sidearms), shouting for the elder to come out or they’ll kill Josh & Megan in 3 minutes.
ACT 4
HOPE: Lew gets out his semi-machine gun (locked & hidden away), comes crashing out like a commando. He scolds them for acting outside their rules… of being part of the illegal elder killing spree.
DANGER: Roz is willing to release, but hothead Hillard won’t, blurting his wound, even if it means his death – a Mexican standoff.
FORCED TO DEAL WITH EACH OTHER: Roz turn weapon on Hillard, blurting her wound, and saying there’s no place for this doomer to flee to. He’ll be caught and killed, these, too. Killing them now & getting killed – they win.
HOPE: Roz gets Hillard to desist & release Josh & Megan. They flee thru secret passages.
THREAT: Roz tells this isn’t over, and she gets reluctant Hillard to leave.
IMPENDING DOOM: Outside she tells Hillard they be back and take care of them. She wonders how Lew Grayson (a pacifist whom all had thought dead long ago) had that weapon and knew how to use it.
HOPE to FEAR to CONTINUE PLAN + NEW: Lew, Josh, and Megan discuss event, feeling relief; Lew says they’re coming back with more fire-power; they continue to fix of the home for an attack.
ATTACK: Roz & Hillard come back with arms, tear gas, hand grenades.
PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES: not sure how the attack and counter attack and booby traps go, but there comes a point where Roz speaks to Lew thru and intercom system – she has figured out he is not Lew Grayson. He reveals in shame that he is Jerrod Isaacs and made a terrible mistake of killing Lew Grayson and his son Lew Grayson, Jr., who were great figures in the climate change mitigation efforts. He realized his ideology was all wrong – killing is not the answer to problems. And he tells Roz she will be regretting her actions all her life if she kills him, Josh, and Megan, and Megan’s baby on the way. She be suicidal, like him. He’s willing to give up, but knows they’ll only go on to kill Josh and esp. Megan, since she is pregnant with other mouth to feed. The issue now is rations, not who caused climate change, and who is worthy to receive them, and how to justify killing.
INCOMPATIBLE: Roz is dissuaded from killing them, but not Hillard.
ATTACK: Hillard goes wild, romping through the home looking for the 2nd hiding place.
DEATH: Hillard kills Lew.
HOPE: Hillard falls into a booby-trap and dies. Roz is a changed person. Lew & family are safe, with a new understanding.
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