• Dawn Greenfield

    Member
    December 16, 2023 at 12:56 am

    Dawn Greenfield’s Finished Act 1 ~ Lesson 12

    The formatting is not great because this is in Word instead of MMSW.

    FADE IN:

    INT: BIG NOSE SAMS MEETING ROOM IN THE BAR – NIGHT

    “Crack-Shot” JACK GUNTHER, mid 30s, tats, muscle-bound, good looking in a rugged way with brown hair and stubble, loads bullets in his Ruger GP 100 handgun.

    BIG NOSE SAM, 50s, smokes a cigar. Sam looks every inch of a mobster from his rigid expression to his scars.

    BIG NOSE SAM

    Jack, things are heating up with Ben Goodman.

    He’s not paying his loans on time and I think

    he needs a reminder.

    JACK

    I’ll pay Ben a visit and give him a recap about his

    lifespan limitations in regards to the money he

    borrowed.

    EXT. BACK ALLEY – NIGHT

    Jack beats up BEN GOODMAN.

    INT: BIG NOSE SAMS MEETING ROOM IN THE BAR – NIGHT

    Jack, Sam, and OTHERS booze it up.

    INT: JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

    Jack is passed out cold in his pigsty apartment. The front door is plated with thick steel which is rippled with indents.

    A polite knock on the door changes to pounding.

    Jack wakes, grabs his Ruger and fires at the front door.

    O.S. Screams and wails of a baby and a woman.

    INT. CONTINUOUS – DAY

    Jack gets up, grabs a pair of lounging pants and steps into them. He staggers to the door, yanks it open, gun pointed at the potential intruder.

    INT./EXT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

    A WOMAN stands outside holding ELSIE, a 6-MONTH-OLD BABY.

    WOMAN

    Mr. Gunther?

    The Woman is scared out of her mind with the gun pointed at her.

    JACK

    Who wants to know?

    Jack stares down the woman clutching the baby.

    WOMAN

    Your sister was killed in an automobile accident.

    You’re the executor of her estate, which includes Elsie

    here.

    The woman shoves the baby at Jack, kicks the diaper bag across the threshold and runs to a waiting car.

    WOMAN

    All the paperwork is in the bag.

    The car screeches away.

    Jack hollers at the woman’s back.

    JACK

    Hey, get back here! I don’t do kids!

    INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

    Jack, holding Elsie precariously, enters the apartment. He sets the baby on the floor and goes to the kitchen and opens the refrigerator.

    JACK

    You hungry? I’m going to cook eggs.

    Elsie cries turns into screams.

    Jack doesn’t know what’s wrong.

    JACK

    If you don’t want eggs, I can make something else.

    (He cusses under his breath)

    Jack grabs the diaper bag and explores the contents: diapers, bottles, clothes, toys, paperwork. He sets the paperwork aside.

    Elsie shoves something into her mouth. She chokes.

    JACK

    Damn! What’d you pick up?

    Jack grabs her by one of her legs, holding her upside down and whacks her on the back. She spits out some trash.

    JACK

    You can’t eat trash!

    Jack figures babies are like puppies and shove things in their mouths indiscriminately. He looks around at his mess, dismayed.

    He moves everything off the floor to whatever surface is available.

    Elsie screams – she’s hungry. Jack doesn’t have a clue what to do.

    Jack plunks Elsie on a kitchen chair. He discovers she can’t sit in a chair safely and she’s too low in the chair for the table. He grabs a couple of books and ties her to the chair with electric cord.

    JACK

    How about some cereal? All kids like cereal.

    Jack fixes a bowl of cereal and gives it to Elsie. She whacks the cereal all over the place in the bowl. She thinks it’s a riot.

    He grabs one of the baby bottles, studies it, then unties Elsie and lays her on the sofa and gives her the bottle. That’s all it took for peace and quiet.

    INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – NIGHT

    TWO WEEKS LATER

    Jack’s phone dings a text. He has to go to a meeting with Big Nose Sam.

    EXT. JACK’S CAR – NIGHT

    Jack secures Elsie in the passenger seat with the seat belt. He drives over to the bar.

    INT: BIG NOSE SAMS MEETING ROOM IN THE BAR – NIGHT

    Jack carries Elsie into the meeting room.

    Big Nose Sam does a doubletake. Jack’s had little sleep, looks like he’s ready to keel over.

    BIG NOSE SAM

    What the hell is this? Whose baby is this?

    JACK

    Language!

    Big Nose Sam balks.

    BIG NOSE SAM

    Language? What’s going on, Jack?

    JACK

    My sister was killed in a car wreck. I’m Elsie’s

    guardian, so she’s with me from now on.

    Big Nose Sam opens a door.

    BIG NOSE SAM

    Gina! Come in here!

    Big Nose Sam’s wife enters the room.

    GINA

    Oh, who is this precious little girl.

    JACK

    Hey, Gina. This is Elsie, my niece.

    GINA

    We’ll be in the other room.

    Gina takes Elsie and goes into the other room.

    BIG NOSE SAM

    Okay, let’s get down to business. I need you to

    snuff out these people.

    Big Nose Sam shows Jack a picture of a guy with his family.

    INSERT PICTURE

    Jack stares at the photo. He shakes his head.

    JACK

    Boss, I can’t kill someone who has kids or pets.

    BIG NOSE SAM

    What the hell, Jack? You going to work for me,

    or what?

    JACK

    I guess it will have to be the “or what,” Sam.

    BIG NOSE SAM

    Listen, Jack. You’ve been my right-hand man

    for the past five years. What happened to

    ‘Crack shot’ Jack?

    JACK

    Elsie’s changed everything for me. I can’t do this

    work anymore.

    Big Nose Sam opens the door.

    BIG NOSE SAM

    Gina, bring the kid. Jack’s leaving.

    Jack and Elsie leave.

    INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

    Jack has Elsie sitting on the stack of books, tied to the chair.

    JACK

    Kid, I don’t know what to do. I’ve got to find

    some kind of work, otherwise we’re going to

    run out of money and starve.

    He pulls out his phone to search for day care.

    JACK

    Are these people crazy? Who can afford to have

    their kid in a day care? Come on, we’re going

    shopping.

    INT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY

    Jack buys a baby backpack. He sits Elsie on the end of the checkout counter while he studies the backpack.

    A WOMAN takes pity on him.

    WOMAN

    Here, let me show you how this works.

    She shows him how to slip into the backpack, then how to settle Elsie into the place, facing out.

    JACK

    Thanks. Would have taken me a while

    to figure this out.

    INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

    Jack pours through a newspaper’s employment ads. Some things circled. Some things X’d out.

    INT. OFFICE BUILDING – NIGHT

    Jack goes from office to office, emptying trash cans into a big rolling bin. Elsie is in the backpack, sleeping.

    The new BOSS approaches.

    BOSS

    What’s this? You can’t have a kid here.

    JACK

    She’s no problem. See, she’s asleep.

    Elsie wakes and screams.

    BOSS

    You’re fired.

    INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – DAY

    ONE MONTH LATER

    Jack is stretched out on the sofa in a pair of lounging pants and tank top, mouth open, snoozing.

    Elsie sits on the kitchen floor with a pan and a wooden spoon, banging away.

    Pounding on the front door startles Jack awake. His hand goes to the end table, but his gun isn’t there. He gets up and goes to the front door and yanks it open.

    A stern-faced WOMAN (Mrs. Fernholder) stands on the stoop. She glares at Jack.

    JACK

    Who the fuck are you and what the fuck do you want?

    The woman thrusts a badge in his face.

    WOMAN

    Melinda Fernholder with Child Protective Services.

    Jack Gunther, I presume? You’d best learn new

    Language skills because your nasty words are

    falling on an impressionable child’s ears.

    Mrs. Fernholder pushes her way into the apartment. She takes one look at the place – the floor is cleared, but every available surface is cluttered with trash. The sink is filled with filthy dishes which carry over to the counter and table.

    MRS. FERNHOLDER

    You actually live in this pig sty? This is no environment

    for a child, Mr. Gunther.

    Mrs. Fernhold inspects the entire apartment, room by room.

    MRS. FERNHOLDER

    Where is the baby furniture, Mr. Gunther?

    Jack gawks at the social worker.

    JACK

    Baby furniture?

    MRS. FERNHOLDER

    You know, a highchair, playpen, crib, and changing

    table? Those are considered standard baby furniture.

    Baby swings are pretty standard these days as well.

    Do you have a car seat?

    JACK

    Uh…

    MRS. FERNHOLDER

    I take that to be a “no”.

    Mrs. Fernholder sees the gun and booze on the bedside table. She returns to the living room by the front door, with Jack on her heels. She whips out a form and fills it in. She rips off the pink copy and slams it to Jack’s chest.

    MRS. FERNHOLDER

    Against my better judgment, I will hold off

    reporting you to the police for the gun violation.

    You have 10-days to get the place in order, get the

    baby necessities, get the gun secured, or the

    state will step in and take Elsie.

    Mrs. Fernholder opens the door and leaves.

    Jack slams the door after her. The walls shake, a picture falls.

  • JOEL STERN

    Member
    December 20, 2023 at 8:04 pm

    Lesson 12

    Joel Stern’s (Almost Finished Act 1)

    What I learned from this assignment: Write fast, let creative process do its thing…(not that easy!)

    INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

    A 1930s RADIO plays Richard Wagner’s, “The Ring Cycle”.

    German knick-knacks fill the room. A room that has clearly missed “a woman’s touch” for a while now.

    On the coffee table the Milwaukee Journal’s HEADLINE: “Hitler’s Ultimatum to Poland”.

    Through the front window neighborhood kids play football on the lawn. A BOY waves at the face in the window.

    BOY

    Come out Ray, we need another player! Chicken?

    EXT. FRONT WINDOW – DAY

    Watching is sad, sickly looking RAY, (18).

    INT. LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Ray’s father ERNST, (45) enters. Stocky, bald like a butcher from the old country. He turns off the radio.

    Ernst approaches Ray who snaps to attention. Their eyes meet… Ray’s EYE twitches. SMACK! Ernst slaps him but Ray doesn’t even blink.

    ERNST

    You should be playing ball with your friends, not inside listening to opera! You must Americanize!

    RAY

    Yes, father!

    Ernst leaves. Ray picks up an old PICTURE of his mother. He defiantly turns on the opera, sits on the couch and opens a math textbook.

    SUPER: “JULY 4, 1943”

    EXT. RAY’S HOUSE – DAY

    A government car waits for Ray, now 22 and Ernst to say goodbye. Stoic Ernst shakes his son’s hand.

    ERNST

    Goodbye son. Remember — everyday people put Hitler into power and it will take every day people to rid the world of him.

    RAY

    I never thought I’d ever hear you say that.

    Ernst’s expression says he’s hiding a deep secret.

    EXT. CAR – DUSK

    An hour or so later. The car winds its way down a misty, lonely road. A depressing site. A perfect time to reflect.

    INT. CAR – EVENING

    Rays sad EYES stare out the window.

    RAY FLASHBACK:

    INT. APARTMENT – COLOGNE, GERMANY – EVENING

    Simple, German middle class — just enough to get by in Hitler’s Germany.

    Ray, (14) Ernst and relatives sit at the dinner table.

    ERNST

    It is your turn to say grace, Ray.

    Ray’s uncomfortable, really doesn’t want to. It goes against his grain. Smiles, expectant faces prod him. Here goes…

    RAY

    Bless us, O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty —

    O.S.: THREE, FOUR THUNDEROUS BANGS!

    The front door flies open and two German soldiers (20s) enter with a vicious barking German Shepherd.

    SOLDIER #1

    Unten auf dem Boden, ihr Judenabschaum! Hände hinter dem Kopf!

    (Down on the floor you Jew scum! Hands behind your heads!)

    All oblige. The dog growls, nearly chews off Ray’s arm. Soldier #2 presses the barrel of his rifle to Ernst’s temple.

    ERNST

    Meine Herren, da muss ein Irrtum vorliegen, wir sind keine Juden, wir sind Katholiken! Sehen Sie selbst!

    (Gentlemen, there must be some mistake — we are not Jews, we are Catholics! See for yourselves!)

    Ernst, sweats profusely. He points to a CROSS on the wall. The soldiers mumble to each other. The tension breaks. They realize they’re in the wrong apartment.

    SOLDIER #1

    Where then are the Friedman’s?

    (Wo sind dann die Friedmans?)

    His eyes meet Ray’s. They say “I’m sorry, but…”

    ERNST

    Sie… sie sind nebenan.

    They… they are next door.)

    Ray looks deeply disappointed.

    Soldier #1 tips his helmet, leaves with Soldier #2. The door shuts. Seconds later: BANG, BANG…CRASH! They burst into the apartment next door. A shot! A woman screams…

    RETURN TO SCENE:

    INT. CAR – EVENING

    Indistinguishable war talk on the radio. The DRIVER, (30) lowers the volume.

    DRIVER

    I can turn on something else if you want, Mr. Hillman.

    RAY

    Yes. Opera would be fine.

    The driver eyes him through the mirror to see if he’s joking. Ray stares out the window.

    INT. WILLIAM CASEY’S OFFICE – DAY

    CASEY, (30) head of the OSS Secret Intelligence Branch in Europe interviews Ray.

    INSERT: Ray’s college TRANSCRIPT. Lots of good things on it. Casey’s impressed.

    CASEY

    A four point oh from MIT. Can’t do much better than that. Tell me, son… Why would a young man like yourself want to kill fellow Germans?

    RAY

    Hitler, sir will be the end of America as we know it and he has to be stopped.

    CASEY

    Married?

    Rays squirms.

    RAY

    No, sir.

    Casey notices Ray’s uneasiness.

    CASEY

    Ever fire a gun before?

    EXT: OSS SHOOTING RANGE – DAY

    A bullet misses a TARGET fifty yards away. Red FLAGS spring up.

    Ray’s the shooter. He couldn’t hit the side of a barn.

    POP, POP! Two BETWEEN-THE-EYES hits… By the agent next him. This man is known as “Z”, (28) a tanned, muscular, super All American type. “Z” comes over. The instructor leaves.

    Z

    Listening to that clown will get you killed faster than greased lightning. I’m Z.

    RAY

    Ray. Ray Hillman. Nice to meet you. Is that your real name?

    Z

    You might say that. Mind if I show you a few pointers?

    RAY

    Well, I’m not sure if I should —

    Z

    First thing, you have to do is hold the gun like so.

    Z shows him, then takes it apart and puts it back together within seconds as he speaks.

    Z

    So. What was growing up in Granville like?

    Ray’s surprised.

    RAY

    Are you from Milwaukee, too?

    Z

    Ha! C’mon, do I look like a peon?

    Ray’s deflated.

    Z

    Malibu, California, Ray. Sun, sea, and the sweetest dolls this side of — well — Milwaukee.

    Z turns his back to the target and shoots — bullseye. He hands the rifle to Ray, slaps him on the shoulder.

    Z

    See ‘ya later buddy!

    INT. BAR – EVENING

    Ray, “Z” and three tipsy fellow agents sit at a table. Ray sips seltzer, looks like an outcast.

    “Z” is in the middle of a story.

    Z

    So there I am whipping Bobby Riggs in straight sets and he’s calling me “sir”!

    Ray strums his fingers on the table while the others whoop it up. Z takes notice.

    Z

    So Ray, what’s one of your shining moments?

    Z elbows the agent next to him. All eyes focus on Ray.

    RAY

    Well, let’s see. Off the top of my head I’d say meeting Fritz Seitz right before he died.

    Z

    Who the hell is that?

    The other’s laugh.

    RAY

    A famous German Romantic Era composer. Passed away in 1918.

    Z fakes a lost look.

    Z

    A violinist who wrote chamber music and eight student concertos. Died in 1848, in Saxe-Coburg and Gotha from what I recall.

    Z turns to a heavy set red headed agent.

    Z

    What about you, Red?

    RED

    Me? Uh — winning a toy elephant at Coney Island?

    Z

    Was that before or after you became the top safecracker on the East Coast?

    All laugh but just a polite smile from Ray.

    EXT. SHOOTING RANGE – NIGHT

    Time for more shooting practice for Ray. Now an occasional shot hits the target. “Z” joins him.

    Z

    Getting a bit better there ‘ol chap. But the Krauts are a dam lot better. Here…

    Z lies prone and fires…

    PLACEHOLDER FOR SHOOTING TERMINOLOGY

    He hands the rifle to Ray. Through the scope: A bullseye in a target 100 yards away.

    PLACE HOLDER FOR MORE TRAINING SCENES — HAND TO HAND COMBAT, PARACHUTE JUMPING, OBSTACLE COURSE, CLASSROOM STUFF (enemy propaganda, FRENCH, etc.), CROSS COUNTRY SKIING, RADIO COMMUNICATIONS, STEN GUNS

    SUPER: “TWO MONTHS LATER”

    INT. OSS FILM ROOM

    Casey sits upfront. Behind him are Ray and other agents. On screen: Grainy B&W footage of a MAN, (45) who turns into a GIRL (11) right before their eyes. The agents are stunned.

    The lights come on. Casey stands and paces.

    CASEY

    Your eyes didn’t deceive you, gentlemen. That man did indeed turn into a young girl. How in hell is that possible you ask? Let’s just say it’s a combination of a serum we’ve developed along with a pinch of deception. Bottom line… This procedure — if carried out correctly — has the potential to shorten the war by three years.

    An AGENT, (22) stands.

    AGENT

    How will this procedure be applied, sir?

    CASEY

    That will be discussed with individuals on a need to know basis, agent. That’s all for now.

    INDISCRIMINATE CHATTER.

    CASEY

    And gentlemen — I stress the word “correctly” as key to the operations we will undertake.

    INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

    Head bandaged, “Z” is sedated.

    EXT. HOSPITAL ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Casey and an assistant speak in hushed tones.

    CASEY

    If anyone could pull off killing Hitler it’s that man.

    PLACE HOLDER:

    Z recuperates and is given his mission: To kill Hitler and key figures in the German High Command. He leaves for Europe.

    PLACE HOLDER:

    “ONE MONTH LATER”

    Scenes of OSS agents being arrested and killed by the Gestapo.

    EXT. WASHINGTON ZOO – MORNING

    On a bench, Casey and WILLIAM DONOVAN, (60), head of the OSS chat while they feed crumbs to pigeons.

    CASEY

    How bad is it, Bill?

    DONOVAN

    It’s not bad. It’s horrific. Jensen, Hill, Crawford and Graham.

    CASEY

    Coincidentally right after Z arrived in France.

    DONOVAN

    Think it was him?

    CASEY

    Yes. And it’s a worse case scenario because he’s taking over other bodies.

    DONOVAN

    Is it an experiment gone horribly wrong or did he turn? We spent seven years on this damn project.

    INT. OSS BOSS’ OFFICE – DAY

    Emergency meeting of OSS big wigs. The four top agents were tortured and liquidated by the Germans. Ray is told he will take the mission to kill Hitler instead. Ray refuses. The boss slams down Ray’s college transcript.: “I know you’re a fraud, Hillman!” His life is on the line. He reluctantly accepts.

    But he can’t be caught because of the procedure that he underwent to give him the ability morph into other people near him.

    INT. PLANE – DAY

    Engines roar, the door opens. Ray’s hooked up but not ready to jump. The examiner gives him a look; “You better get this done.” Ray pisses his pants, jumps.

    INT. LONDON HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT

    Although he’s 25, Ray’s a virgin. The PROSTITUTE says she’s a company perk and assures him all is okay.

    EXT. ALLEY – FRANCE – NIGHT

    After a night of drinking, drunken Ray and a WOMAN, (21) have sex. She’s a Nazi spy but he doesn’t know it.

    PLACEHOLDER:

    Ray chases agent “J” through occupied Europe. Gets wounded but lives. Continues the chase. Ray sees “J” kill and immediately transform into other people. Ray finally kills him.

    PLACE HOLDER:

    SUPER: “EAST PRUSSIA, JULY 20, 1944”

    Ray gets word that Hitler is nearby at Wolf’s Lair. It’s the Allies latest and best chance to assassinate him. Rays get’s him in his sights. As he’s about to pull the trigger a bomb explodes – killing several German High Command but Hitler survives.

    QUICK SHOTS:

    Allies win the war in Europe, occupy Berlin.

    PLACEHOLDER:

    Ray sorts through pictures of gold and artworks looted by the Nazi’s. “This is what is was really all about.”

    SUPER: “MILWAUKEE, WI SIX MONTHS LATER”

    INT. RAY’S KITCHEN

    Three letters are neatly arranged on the table – Harvard, Yale, Milwaukee College. All offer Ray teaching positions. He asks his wife – the former Nazi spy – to choose. She places his hand on the Milwaukee College invite. She tells him he’ll always be a man of the people. They smile.

    PLACE HOLDER:

    Throughout the story Ray comes to grips with his demeanor formed largely by his strict father and adjusts his behavior.

  • JOEL STERN

    Member
    December 21, 2023 at 9:10 pm

    Lesson 12

    Joel Stern’s (Finished Act 1)

    What I learned from this assignment: Write fast, let creative process do its thing…(not that easy!)

    INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

    A 1930s RADIO plays Richard Wagner’s, “The Ring Cycle”.

    German knick-knacks fill the room. A room that has clearly missed “a woman’s touch” for a while now.

    On the coffee table the Milwaukee Journal’s HEADLINE: “Hitler’s Ultimatum to Poland”.

    Through the front window neighborhood kids play football on the lawn. A BOY waves at the face in the window.

    BOY

    Come out Ray, we need another player! Chicken?

    EXT. FRONT WINDOW – DAY

    Watching is sad, sickly looking RAY, (18).

    INT. LIVING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Ray’s father ERNST, (45) enters. Stocky, bald like a butcher from the old country. He turns off the radio.

    Ernst approaches Ray who snaps to attention. Their eyes meet… Ray’s EYE twitches. SMACK! Ernst slaps him but Ray doesn’t even blink.

    ERNST

    You should be playing ball with your friends, not inside listening to opera! You must Americanize!

    RAY

    Yes, father!

    Ernst leaves. Ray picks up an old PICTURE of his mother. He defiantly turns on the opera, sits on the couch and opens a math textbook.

    SUPER: “JULY 4, 1943”

    EXT. RAY’S HOUSE – DAY

    A government car waits for Ray, now 22 and Ernst to say goodbye. Stoic Ernst shakes his son’s hand.

    ERNST

    Goodbye son. Remember — everyday people put Hitler into power and it will take every day people to rid the world of him.

    RAY

    I never thought I’d ever hear you say that.

    Ernst’s expression says he’s hiding a deep secret.

    EXT. CAR – DUSK

    An hour or so later. The car winds its way down a misty, lonely road. A depressing site. A perfect time to reflect.

    INT. CAR – EVENING

    Rays sad EYES stare out the window.

    RAY FLASHBACK:

    INT. APARTMENT – COLOGNE, GERMANY – EVENING

    Simple, German middle class — just enough to get by in Hitler’s Germany.

    Ray, (14) Ernst and relatives sit at the dinner table.

    ERNST

    It is your turn to say grace, Ray.

    Ray’s uncomfortable, really doesn’t want to. It goes against his grain. Smiles, expectant faces prod him. Here goes…

    RAY

    Bless us, O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty —

    O.S.: THREE, FOUR THUNDEROUS BANGS!

    The front door flies open and two German soldiers (20s) enter with a vicious barking German Shepherd.

    SOLDIER #1

    Mach schnell! Unten auf dem Boden, ihr Judenabschaum! Hände hinter dem Kopf!

    (Down on the floor you Jew scum! Fast! Hands behind your heads!)

    All oblige. The dog growls, nearly chews off Ray’s arm. Soldier #2 presses the barrel of his rifle to Ernst’s temple.

    ERNST

    Meine Herren, da muss ein Irrtum vorliegen, wir sind keine Juden, wir sind Katholiken! Sehen Sie selbst!

    (Gentlemen, there must be some mistake — we are not Jews, we are Catholics! See for yourselves!)

    Ernst, sweats profusely. He points to a CROSS on the wall. The soldiers mumble to each other. The tension breaks. They realize they’re in the wrong apartment.

    SOLDIER #1

    Where then are the Friedman’s?

    (Wo sind dann die Friedmans?)

    His eyes meet Ray’s. They say “I’m sorry, but…”

    ERNST

    Sie… sie sind nebenan.

    They… they are next door.)

    Ray looks deeply disappointed.

    Soldier #1 tips his helmet, leaves with Soldier #2. The door shuts. Seconds later: BANG, BANG…CRASH! They burst into the apartment next door. A shot! A woman screams…

    RETURN TO SCENE:

    INT. CAR – EVENING

    Indistinguishable war talk on the radio. The DRIVER, (30) lowers the volume.

    DRIVER

    I can turn on something else if you want, Mr. Hillman.

    RAY

    Yes. Opera would be fine.

    The driver eyes him through the mirror to see if he’s joking. Ray stares out the window.

    INT. WILLIAM CASEY’S OFFICE – DAY

    CASEY, (30) head of the OSS Secret Intelligence Branch in Europe interviews Ray. Looks impressed.

    INSERT: Ray’s college TRANSCRIPT. Lots of good things on it. Casey’s impressed.

    CASEY

    A four point oh from Wisconsin. Not bad. Tell me, son… Why would a young man like yourself want to kill fellow Germans?

    RAY

    Hitler, sir will be the end of America as we know it and he has to be stopped.

    CASEY

    Married?

    Rays squirms.

    RAY

    No, sir.

    Casey notices Ray’s uneasiness.

    CASEY

    Ever fire a gun before?

    EXT: OSS SHOOTING RANGE – DAY

    A bullet misses a TARGET fifty yards away. Red FLAGS spring up.

    Ray’s the shooter. He couldn’t hit the side of a barn.

    POP, POP! Two BETWEEN-THE-EYES hits… By the agent next him. This man is known as “Z”, (28) a tanned, muscular, super All American type. “Z” comes over. The instructor leaves.

    Z

    Listening to that clown will get you killed faster than greased lightning. I’m Z.

    RAY

    Ray. Ray Hillman. Nice to meet you. Is that your real name?

    Z

    You might say that. Mind if I show you a few pointers?

    RAY

    Well, I’m not sure if I should take advice from anyone other than —

    Z

    First thing, you have to do is hold the gun like so.

    Z shows him and as he speaks takes it apart and puts it back together within seconds.

    Z

    So. What was growing up in Granville like?

    Ray’s surprised.

    RAY

    Are you from Milwaukee, too?

    Z

    Ha! C’mon, do I look like a peon?

    Ray’s insulted.

    Z

    Malibu, California, Ray. Sun, sea, and the sweetest dolls this side of — well — Milwaukee.

    Z turns his back to the target and shoots — bullseye. He hands the rifle to Ray, slaps him on the shoulder.

    Z

    See ‘ya later buddy.

    INT. BAR – EVENING

    Ray, “Z” and three tipsy fellow agents sit at a table. Ray sips seltzer, the others hard booze. Ray’s an outcast. “Z” is in the middle of a story.

    Z

    So, there I am whipping Bobby Riggs in straight sets and he’s calling me “sir”!

    Ray strums his fingers on the table, the others whoop it up. Z notices.

    Z

    So Ray, what’s one of your shining moments?

    Z elbows the agent next to him. All eyes focus on Ray.

    RAY

    Well, let’s see. Off the top of my head I’d say meeting Fritz Seitz right before he died.

    Agent DAN, (32) pipes in.

    DAN

    Who the hell’s that?

    The other’s laugh.

    RAY

    A famous German Romantic Era composer. Passed away in 1918.

    Z

    The violinist who wrote chamber music and eight student concertos. Died in 1848, if I’m not mistaken in Saxe-Coburg and Gotha from what I recall.

    Z turns to RED, (40).

    Z

    What about you, Red?

    RED

    Me? Uh — winning a toy elephant at Coney Island?

    All laugh, Ray politely smiles.

    Z

    Was that before or after you became Boston’s top safecracker?

    RED

    Before. Now I can afford the damn toys!

    All laugh.

    EXT. SHOOTING RANGE – NIGHT

    Time for more shooting practice for Ray. Now an occasional shot hits the target. “Z” joins him.

    Z

    Getting a bit better there ‘ol chap. But the Krauts are a dam lot better. Here…

    Z lies prone and fires.

    PLACEHOLDER FOR SHOOTING TERMINOLOGY

    He hands the rifle to Ray. Through the scope: A bullseye in a target 100 yards away.

    PLACE HOLDER FOR TRAINING SCENES INVOLVING RAY — HAND TO HAND COMBAT, PARACHUTE JUMPING, OBSTACLE COURSE, CLASSROOM STUFF (enemy propaganda, FRENCH, etc.), CROSS COUNTRY SKIING, RADIO COMMUNICATIONS, STEN GUNS.

    SUPER: “TWO MONTHS LATER”

    INT. OSS FILM ROOM

    Casey sits upfront. Ray and other agents watch on screen grainy B&W footage of a MAN, (45) who turns into a GIRL (11) right before their eyes! They’re stunned.

    The lights come on. Casey stands and paces.

    CASEY

    Your eyes didn’t deceive you, gentlemen. That man did indeed turn into a young girl. How in hell is that possible you ask? Let’s just say it’s a combination of a serum we’ve developed along with a pinch of deception. Bottom line… This procedure — if carried out correctly — has the potential to shorten the war by three years.

    An AGENT, (22) stands.

    AGENT

    How will this procedure be applied, sir?

    CASEY

    That will be discussed with individuals on a need to know basis, agent. That’s all for now.

    INDISCRIMINATE CHATTER.

    CASEY

    And gentlemen — I stress the word “correctly”. It will be the key to the missions we will undertake.

    INT. OPERATING ROOM – DAY

    DR. RALPH STENSON, (50) a Neurosurgeon performs surgery on “Z”. Implants a device in his brain.

    INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY

    Head bandaged, “Z” is sedated.

    EXT. HOSPITAL ROOM – CONTINUOUS

    Casey and an assistant speak in hushed tones.

    CASEY

    If anyone could pull off killing Hitler it’s that man.

    PLACE HOLDER:

    Z recuperates and is given his mission: To kill Hitler and key figures in the German High Command. He leaves for Europe.

    PLACE HOLDER:

    “ONE MONTH LATER”

    Scenes of OSS agents being arrested and killed by the Gestapo.

    EXT. WASHINGTON ZOO – MORNING

    Casey and WILLIAM DONOVAN, (60), head of the OSS are glum as they feed the pigeons.

    CASEY

    How bad is it, Bill?

    DONOVAN

    It’s horrific. Jensen, Hill, Crawford and Ford. Our top four. Two killed by the Gestapo. The others — no trace.

    CASEY

    Hm. Soon after Z arrived in France.

    DONOVAN

    We spent four years on this damn project and I’ll be damned if I have to go tell this to FDR. Who else do we have for this mission?

    PLACE HOLDER: Ray’s becoming an expert in training.

    FOOTAGE OF THE GERMANS ADVANCING THROUGH EUROPE

    INT. CASEY’S OFFICE – DAY

    Casey peeks through the blinds. Ray sits, braces himself for bad news.

    CASEY

    Your improving beyond expectations, Ray. Another month and I think you’ll be ready.

    RAY

    Ready for what, sir?

    Casey sits, leans back.

    CASEY

    For the mission we send agent “Z” to achieve.

    RAY

    Is he not accomplishing it?

    CASEY

    Let’s talk about you Ray.

    Casey picks up and opens Ray’s FILE. He makes a face. Ray’s uneasy. Casey holds up Ray’s resume.

    CASEY

    We know, Ray.

    RAY

    Know w-what, sir?

    CASEY

    We know you didn’t achieve half the things on this piece of paper.

    RAY

    I —

    CASEY

    Don’t. I’ll make you an offer.

    Casey stands, paces.

    CASEY

    We need an agent to do what “Z” was assigned to do.

    Ray looks overwhelmed.

    RAY

    You mean kill Hitler, sir?

    Pause. Casey plants his fists on the desk, leans over to Ray.

    CASEY

    And “Z” as well.

    RAY

    With all do respect sir, I don’t think I —

    Casey tosses Ray’s file across the desk.

    CASEY

    There’s no “no” in this scenario, son. You lied in applying to the OSS. There’ll be Federal charges against you. And that’s being optimistic. The fact is you know too much to just let you go. Read between the lines.

    RAY

    Do I have time to decide?

    Casey glares at him. Ray paces, frantic. No way out.

    CASEY

    Now comes the hard part. “Z” is morphing into other people after his kills. So you’ll have to find a way to find him and kill him before he does any more damage.

    Ray’s wide eyed in shock.

  • Tyrone Huff

    Member
    January 1, 2024 at 5:07 am

    This technique is speeding up my writing and boosting my motivation. Instead of getting caught up in perfecting each word, I’m focusing on one section at a time. I leave quick notes for future revisions, keeping the momentum going. It’s like building a masterpiece, one step at a time.

    FADE IN

    INT. BACK HALLS OF A PLAY HOUSE – NIGHT

    A Black is seen running for his life. His eyes are aswide as camera lenses. He’s in BLACK FACE, His clothes are barely hanging on him, ripped to shreeds. Not to far behind him a small MOB is after him.

    The mob in tow has chains, bats, crow bars. He’s cornered. With nowhere to go.

    He thinks for a moment then starts to dance, dance a jig. The mob watches for a moment until some one tosses abottle at him that lands at his feet. He Contiues to dance. Another bottel flies throught the air and strikes him on the head.

    The Mob Jumps him. We hear the horrifying screams of the man util it comes to a abrubt halt.

    CUT TO BLACK.

    INT. MALIKA’S APARTMENT – DAY

    This could be a quick scene of malika finishig up a historical vlog about positive black history that no one has heard about. He vlog is flashy informative and she is in her element. She has made tons of these and people share them and historians share them.

    EXT. SMALL COLLEGE TOWN – DAY

    MALIKA arrives in a quaint town, Her face is bright with optimisim and curiosity. She takes in the sights of the town greeting locals with enthusaim. There’s warm, yet slightly distant reception. She’s too excited to notice the distances.

    Malika reaches the museum, her new workplace, filled with a sense of purpose and excitement. She takes a moment to take in the glorious arcitecthre of the building. Composes a quikc video and posts it for her followers. After confirming that it is live she enters.

    INT. MUSEUM – DAY

    LYDIA (60s, imperious and elegant) commands the exhibit hall. Dressed in a vintage tweed suit, she moves with an air of aristocratic grace. Her eyes, sharp and discerning behind antique spectacles, miss nothing. She carries a small, ornate magnifying glass, which she uses not just for inspection but as a pointer, directing her assistant with subtle yet authoritative gestures.

    Her assistant, BOB (early 40s, scruffy but earnest), struggles to keep pace. He’s a stark contrast to Lydia’s refinement, wearing an oversized sweater and mismatched socks, often pushing up his slipping glasses. He scribbles notes in a weathered notebook, his handwriting a chaotic scrawl. Bob habitually bites his lip in concentration, especially when Lydia gives a new directive.

    LYDIA

    This time let’s go with the warm lighting. The new led bulbs washes everything out.

    BOB

    (jotting this down)

    No LED’s got it.

    Lydia turns to the empty space. Pauses for a second.

    LYDIA

    Bring the case up here form the basement. I think I knwo what can go here.

    BOB

    Which case?

    LYDIA

    The one we had left oveer from June’s show.

    BOB

    Got it!

    Bob looks at his phone.

    BOB

    It’s 3:40. Your new hire Malika should be here.

    LYDIA

    You’re right let’s go.

    Lydia leaves at fast pace. Bob kicks it into second gear to catch up with her.

    INT. MUSEUM BACK HALL – MOMENTS LATER

    Malika stands in the back hall scanning the photos of the building of the musem, the old currators posing with city officials over the years, a younger scruffy Lydia, over different decades with celeberties and major political figures.

    The footsteps anf Lydia and Bob can be heard approaching Malika. Malika turns to greet Lydia with a smile. Lydia smiles and greets Malika with open arms.

    LYDIA

    Malika Jhonson. I am excited to have you on the team.

    Lydia places a hand on each shoulder.

    MALIKA

    I’m excited to join the team.

    LYDIA

    Let me look at you.

    Malika akwardly pauses aloowing Lydia to look her up and down. Lydia smiles. Malika reflects the smile back. Bob smiles too.

    LYDIA

    Let’s go.

    Lydia gives Malika a brief tour while subtly emphasizing her traditional approach to the town’s history.

    MALIKA’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

    The door to Malika’s new office swings open.

    LYDIA

    This is your office. I hope you find it sutaible.

    Malika steps and and scans the room.

    MALIKA

    (with a chuckle)

    This is perfect.

    LYDIA

    Perfect. That is exactly what I was hoping you would say. Let leave you to settle in. Like I said over the phone you are going to be a great asset in helping the museem stay current and hip.

    MALIKA

    Thank you.

    Lydia and Bob leaves Malika. Bob slips his head back in the door sill.

    BOB

    (refering to the door)

    Would you like me to close this for you?

    MALIKA

    Yes please.

    Bob nods and closes the door.

    Malika steps deeper into her new personal work space feeling empowered. Her she feels the desk then takes a seat in her new chair. Does a little dance then spins in her chair.

    EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS – NIGHT

    The night is crisp and clear over a sprawling, prestigious university campus. Students amble between buildings, the strains of late-night study sessions drifting out from library windows. Tucked away from the academic bustle, a fraternity house pulses with the beats of hard-hitting music and boisterous laughter.

    The front door of the house bursts open. A herd of students pour out of the house dressed in tasteless pimps and hoes 70’s costumes. With bell bottom pants, platform shoes, oversized gold chains, nappy afros, most of them blackened their faces black or brown makeup. The sight is repulsive but the students are having a great time.

    INT. FRAT HOUSE – NIGHT

    A WHITE MAN stumbles down a hallway reaching for the wall to catch himself. He turns into a room and sits on a bed. He tugs at the nappy afro on his head till it falls to the floor. With a tap on his phone he kills the music.

    He lowers his phone to reveal a black void at the end of the hallway. The hair stands on the back of his neck as he sobers up.

    The shadow reaches down the hall to white man. He squints his eyes to look deeper into the void until – –

    A shadowy figure of a man steps into the crest of light and strikes a pose with his ass cocked knees bent and his head tilted looking up at the ceiling. White Man’s eyes go saucer wide.

    WHITE MAN

    Bro, the party is over.

    A pregnant pause.

    The figure down the hall turns to look at White man. Revealing a painted black face with a deadly smile this is JIM CROW, a horrific apparition from our past.

    White Man flinches.

    WHITE MAN

    You went all out dude. I appreciate the heart but it’s time to go dude.

    Jim Crow moves towards White Man, its movement disturbingly clumsy and graceful. It jigs towards the man.

    White Man sprints towards the door and SLAMS it in Jim Crow’s face. White Man presses his back against the door and scans the room. There is a BANG at the door. Then Another and ANOTHER. White Man grabs his chair, tosses it through the window and dives through it.

    EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS – CONTINUOUS

    White Man in blackface flies out of the old building, he breaks into a run, his desperate cries resonating through the deserted campus. He looks over his shoulder, fear etched in his face. He burts around the corner CRASHING into –

    WHITE MAN

    Ahhh!

    A GAY (two men) COUPLE. knocking one of them to the ground.

    White man’s legs is intangled with the man’s on the floor. The man still standing, CHARLES, pushes White man off of his disshoulveled lover.

    CHARLES

    Watch where the fuck you are going.

    WILL takes Charle’s hand stands up. Will pats himself off and Charles helps. They turn to scold White Man but stops when they see the horrified look on his face. He points to something behind them. They turn to see.

    To see Jim Crow not too far from them. The creature’s movements are a paradox — disturbingly clumsy, yet somehow also graceful. Its dance, a macabre parody of tap, echoes through the vast campus.

    The couple turn back to White Man with a perplexd look on thier face.

    CHARLES

    Um, there’s nothing there.

    WILL

    You are tripping. You need –

    The two men continued remarks can be heard but as the spectral figure begins a monstrous tap dance, the chilling rhythm, a haunting harbinger of a dreadful reckoning. The man tries to flee, but his body defies him.

    WILL

    Something got him all fucked up.

    The two chalk him up as a junkie and scrries off.

    The man tries again to get up and run but his ankles give way with a sickening crack, propelling him into a macabre dance of agony.

    His harrowing cries continue as we…

    CUT TO BLACK.

    INT. MUSEUM – DAY

    MALIKA, focused and diligent, arranges artifacts skillfully. Assisting her are RACHEL, TYLER, and ALEX.

    RACHEL (mid-20s), with sharp eyes and an inquisitive demeanor, watches Malika’s hands move with precision. Her style is eclectic, a mix of vintage and modern, reflecting her creative nature. She has a habit of tucking her hair behind her ear when focused.

    RACHEL

    (to Malika)

    Oh, you got another one of those?

    TYLER (early 30s), tall with an athletic build, leans against a display case, a constant smirk playing on his lips. He exudes a casual confidence, dressed in a style that’s effortlessly cool. Tyler is known for his playful sarcasm, often clicking a pen in his hand when plotting his next quip.

    TYLER

    What year did you graduate again?

    Malika opens her mouth to answer but stops, noticing Tyler’s smirk.

    MALIKA

    This one’s funny.

    ALEX (late 20s), the quiet observer, stands slightly apart. He’s average in height, with a thoughtful expression and understated attire. His key trait is his dry wit, often delivered in a deadpan manner. Alex habitually adjusts his glasses when he’s about to interject with a comment.

    ALEX

    He thinks he is, but just like that last joke, most of them fall flat.

    Their friendly banter echoes around the museum, a stark contrast to the somber Jim Crow exhibit hall they are working on.

    INT. MUSEUM – LATER

    OFFICER JAMES BENNETT (late 30s) strides in. Tall and well-built, he carries an air of authority. His stern face often intimidates, but a flicker of dry humor lies behind his deep voice. He unconsciously flips his badge in his hand, a contrast to his stoic nature.

    OFFICER LISA MORENO (early 30s) follows, her athletic frame moving with purpose. She exudes friendliness and empathy, making her approachable. A notebook is clutched in her hand, a rainbow of colorful pens peeking from the spiral binding.

    OFFICER DALE ROBERTS (mid 40s), slightly overweight and jolly, brings up the rear. He’s the type everyone in town knows and likes, his easy-going demeanor a comfort. He mutters a line from a detective novel under his breath, a quirky habit that endears him to many.

    The trio stops in front of MALIKA, who looks up, surprised.

    She lowers the cleaning rag and smiles.

    MALIKA

    Good afternoon officers.

    OFFICER LISA MORENO

    To you too mam.

    OFFICER JAMES BENNETT

    Mam.

    Officer Dale Roberts glances at her badge.

    OFFICER DALE ROBERTS

    Good afternoon Malika.

    MALIKA

    Is there someting I can help you with?

    OFFICER JAMES BENNETT

    Actually it would be great if you can be a peach and find Lydia for us we? Need a historian.

    Malika doesn’t think twice and says.

    MALIKA

    Oh. I can help you. How can I be of service?

    The trio looks at Malika perplexed. Officer Bennet stops flicking his badge.

    OFFICER LISA MORENO

    You can help us?

    MALIKA

    I sure can, I’m new here but I’m not new.

    Malika gives a, what you got for me smile.

    OFFICER DALE ROBERTS

    I think Lydia would be a better fit for the questions I have.

    MALIKA

    I insist hit me with your questions and if I feel like it doesn’t fit into my wheel house I’ll give Lyda a call.

    Officer hesitantly reaches into her bag. She glances at Officer Bennett. He nods ok.

    She reaches into the bag and pulls out a old tin that says, STINE’S BURNT CORK MAKE UP on the cap.

    She hands it to Malika. Malkia smirks. Now she see why they didn’t want to ask her any questions.

    MALIKA

    This is a 1920’s Vaudveille black face make up tin. May I take a closer look at it.

    OFFICER DALE ROBERTS

    Be our guest.

    Malika walks the tin over to a counter. He pull oot a pair of gloves out of her pocket, places a microfiber cloth on the counter.

    MALIKA

    Where did you find this?

    She pulls the tin out of the plastic evidence bag. Officer Lisa Moreno Looks at her notes and reads.

    OFFICER LISA MORENO

    This was on the body of a young man that actually used the contents of the tin to paint his face black.

    Malika glances up at the officers. Officer Roberts gives her a “you heard right” look.

    OFFICER DALE ROBERTS

    The funny well, not so funny thing is that victim didn’t have the makeuup on his face when found.

    OFFICER JAMES BENNETT

    It looks like he was in the process of cleaning it off before being attacked.

    MALIKA

    Why would he be in black face?

    OFFICER JAMES BENNETT

    Kids down at the college was having a pimps and ho’s party.

    MALIKA

    Pimps and Ho’s?

    OFFICER LISA MORENO

    It’s one of the traditions. I been to a few of them myslef.

    MALIKA

    Officer Moreno you used to ho it up?

    Officer Moreno chukles a bit as she gets ready to respond to Malika’s queston but stops her self to keep it profesional. Malikia notices this and take another look at the tin.

    OFFICER DALE ROBERTS

    They had to change it to Pimps and ho’s becuse what it was called before is not PC.

    MALIKA

    The man went out of his way to be racists. These tins aren’t something you can find a local thrifth store. It’s pure cork.

    The three officers struggle to avoid the previous statement.

    Malika notices it.

    MALIKA

    What, you mean to tell me that you can get these at the local 2nd hand store?

    They bite thier tongue.

    MALIKA

    (to herself)

    Man, this town is –

    LYDIA (O.C.)

    Hello oficers. Why do I have the pleasure of this visit?

    The officers faces lighten up with relief. They all turn to see Lydia.

    LYDIA

    I see that you’ve had a chance to meet my new curator, Malika, Malika’s fr-

    Lydia notices the tin can infront of Malika on the counter.

    LYDIA

    Was another one of these found on campus?

    MALIKA

    Another one? What?

    LYDIA

    These kids is stuck in the old tradion of partying they’re harmless and is just having some fun.

    (to the officers)

    Officecers Can I take a look at what you brought for me?

    MALIKA

    What we have here is a-

    LYDIA

    – Thank you Malika I got it from here.

    Malika is taken back. She holds her tounge. Glances at the officers who smile at the display of Lyia’s powerss.

    MALIKA

    Nice meeting you officers.

    The officers speak freely with Lydia and let’s out a collected laugh ounce Malika is out of ear shot.

    Malika turns the corner and pauses in thought. Malika, now alone, reflects on the incident. Her interest in the artifact’s true history and its possible connection to the town’s past grows.

    A SCENE IS NEEDED HEAR TO BREAK US AWA FROM THE MUSEUM. IT COULD BE WITH MALIKA AT A RESTURANT EATING ALONE. OR HER AT HOME MAKING A NEW VIDEO FOR HER TO POST. WE SEE ALL OF THE WORK THAT GOES INTO THE PREPERATION OF THE VIDEO THEN WE SEE HER RECORD THE VIDEO TO SOUND AS CASUAL AND ENTERTAING FOR THE MASSES.

    INT. MUSEUM EXHIBIT HALL – NIGHT

    The scene opens in a dimly lit hall of the museum, filled with artifacts and displays that speak of the town’s history.

    Malika is alone in the vast hall working late, cataloging items. The musem is quite, save for the occasional creak of the old building. A FAINT WHISPER can be heard.

    Malika stops working and perks her ear up and scans the room.

    NOTHING. She shakes her head dississeing it to her imagination and continues to work.

    A whisper can be heard again but this time it was CLOSER more PRESENT. She’s convinced that she has deffiently heard something. Malika lowers her tools and stands up to hear better. The whisper breaths out again and echos through the hall.

    Curious, Malika follows the sounds. The museum lights FLICKER, casting long, disorienting shadows. As she moves through the exhibits, the whispers become clearer, sounding like voices from the past, (discussing racial injustices and events of the town’s history. I’ll figure this out later so that it’s not over kill)

    Suddenly, Malika sees reflections of the Jim Crow monster in the glass cases of the exhibits. Each reflection shows a different aspect of its form – one is grotesquely elongated, another fractured into pieces, each more terrifying than the last. The reflections seem to be watching her, following her movements.

    PANICKED, Malika turns to run but stops as the lights stabilize and the museum returns to normal. She looks back at the exhibits – the monster is gone, leaving only her own frightened reflection. Shaken, she hurries out of the exhibit hall, her mind racing with what she’s just witnessed.

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