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BWTV-AI Mod 3 – Lesson 10: Create a Beat Sheet
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Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is how much all the previous lessons helped me to lay out this rough beat sheet. Looking forward to getting more of the B and C stories into my next version.
Title: THE BACKPACK
One-Hour Serialized Christian Thriller
Show Concept: When he finds a battered backpack, a homeless veteran’s life takes a spiritual turn as the supernatural contents of it alter both his destiny and the lives of people in crisis he encounters.
Inciting Incident: Noah discovers a battered backpack in an abandoned warehouse.
A Story: Noah’s relationship with God and people in crisis.
B Story: Kane, James, Mary, Catherine, and Father Zeke.
C Story: The “fake” media, politicians, law officers and others under Satan’s influence.
THE BACKPACK Beat Sheet:
FADE IN:
TEASER
EXT. AFGHANISTAN – KABUL NEIGHBORHOOD – DAY
An Army Humvee patrols a dust-choked street. NOAH ADAMS in
the turret. He mocks God, blasphemes Jesus. ABEL KANE at the
wheel, agrees. Two other soldiers inside, look uncomfortable.EXT. AFGHANISTAN – KABUL SLUMS – DAY
Sniper fire rings out, Noah returns fire.
For some unknown reason, Humvee swerves, Noah inadvertently
rakes an apartment with his M240. Kills innocent civilians.The Humvee continues several more feet, hits an IED. BOOM!
All dead. Noah injured badly, asks Jesus to save him. Faints.
ACT ONE
EXT. NASHVILLE – BROADWAY AVENUE – DAY
Music. Tourists. Homeless people. One is NOAH ADAMS but his
ragged Army jacket has, “TAYLOR” on it. He’s heavily bearded,
scar on his forehead. Seems confused. Begs change.POV from somewhere on the street – someone is watching Noah.
EXT. NASHVILLE – ALLEY – DAY
We learn more about Noah as he talks to several people who
know him. He checks unlocked back doors. Gets chased away
from one, “you bum”. It begins to rain.POV from somewhere close – someone is tracking Noah.
EXT. NASHVILLE – WAREHOUSE DISTRICT – NIGHT
Raining hard. Noah slugs through puddles, exhausted, hungry.
He disappears around the corner of a vacant building.POV from somewhere nearby – someone is following Noah.
EXT. VACANT WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Noah peeks through a broken window, climbs inside.
INT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT
Noah explores, nothing of value. Checks refrigerator, several
items spoiled, except can of soda. He drinks, remembers –INSERT COURTHOUSE FOOTAGE
Noah about to be sentenced. Momentarily left alone by guards,
he takes the opportunity and simply walks from courthouse.BACK TO SCENE
Noah sarcastic, “Thanks a lot, God”. Noah sees something
hiding under a bench, a battered backpack, checks it out.
Worthless junk inside, and a small cross with, “God Loves
You” on it. Maybe he can sell the mess for a few bucks.A MAN steps from shadows with gun drawn, confronts Noah. It
is KEITH KANE. Noah reacts like he’s seeing a ghost.Kane looks conflicted, some internal battle going on. He
shoots. BANG. He misses…but did his miss on purpose?Noah dives out the broken window with the backpack.
ACT TWO
EXT. DOWNTOWN CITY STREET – DAY
Noah walks, fearful. Tries to sell backpack. No takers.
EXT. ANOTHER CITY STREET – DAY
Noah’s tired of carrying the worthless backpack.
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING – DAY
Dumpster behind building. Noah’s about to trash the backpack.
Horns HONK.A WOMAN in heavy traffic, arms open wide. Suicide in
progress. Noah can’t stand by. He pulls her to safety.EXT. DUMPSTER – DAY
Set up woman’s dilemma, feels unworthy. Noah embarrassed,
mutters he feels like her, unworthy. She wants to go back
into traffic. He stops her, says she is worthy “in God’s
eyes.” She laughs, sarcastic.Noah pulls cross from backpack, offers kind words. A change
comes over her. She’s reborn. Thanks Noah. He is stunned.ACT TWO
EXT. CITY STREET – DAY
Noah wanders aimlessly. More confused than ever. Can’t decide
what to do with the backpack. He’s hungry.EXT. TRUCK STOP – DAY
Noah sits outside restaurant, unsure what to do.
JAMES JOHN appears, walks past Noah, enters restaurant.
INT. RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS
James double checks himself, then triple. Has to hold the
counter to steady himself. Makes a decision…EXT. RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS
James exits, asks Noah if he’s hungry.
INT. RESTAURANT – LATER
They eat. We learn about James. And Noah. He mentions he saw
the ghost of his friend Abel who was killed in Afghanistan.Set up James’s relationship with the backpack. We get the
feeling he’s holding back on what he knows. James had to
drive to Memphis. Does Noah want to ride along?EXT./INT. JAMES’S 18-WHEELER – DAY
Truck on I-40. They talk. James kicked drugs is afraid of
back sliding. Hesitant, he asks about the backpack, what is
in it? A lot of useless crap. Noah pulls a torn bible page
from the backpack.The truck SCREECHES to a stop on the shoulder. James reveals
a person with a backpack once saved his life and it a Gideon
bible page that did it – the same page that Noah holds.James believes Noah is chosen to spread the Gospel of Christ.
Noah won’t hear any more. He angrily exits truck with a half
eaten bag of potato chips offered by James, SLAMS the door.ACT THREE
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – NIGHT
Noah hitchhikes but no one stops. He’s pissed, doesn’t want
the backpack or any job from God. He’ll show God…EXT. RAILROAD OVERPASS – NIGHT
Noah stares at the track. We learn more about his pain. He
eats potato chips, finds a fifty dollar bill inside, doesn’t
know what to think.A TRAIN approaches. The headlight reminds him of the light
above him in surgery… after the IED…Abel’s face flashes.Noah rips the backpack from his shoulder, throws it at the
train, turns to walk away —The backpack BANGS off locomotive’s windshield, ricochets and
SLAMS into Noah’s back, knocks him off his feet.TIRES SCREECH, car stops inches from Noah face down in road.
CATHERINE exits her car, helps Noah up.
INT. CATHERINE’S CAR – NIGHT
They get to know each other. She’s a nurse and amateur
archeologist obsessed with her family’s genealogy. He laughs,
that he is, “on a mission from God.”We learn Noah had a wife but she divorced him, or rather her
father made her do it, when he was convicted of…war crimes.
We also learn that Noah has been diagnosed with PTSD.When Catherine’s husband passed away, she wasn’t there. And
also didn’t attend his funeral. She won’t explain.He wants to thank her. Reaches into backpack, laughs because
he knows there’s no money in it, pulls out small piece of
pottery. Catherine realizes it may be from the time of
Christ. Could Noah be the messenger in her family’s folklore?His speech becomes slurred, she diagnoses diabetic shock and
must choose — injects him with insulin, gives him a small
supply. It won’t last forever. How will he get more?EXT. MEMPHIS CITY STREET – NIGHT
Noah exits Catherine’s car. Walks. Turns up an alley, looking
for a place to sleep.EXT. ALLEY – NIGHT
GINO sits in his locked Camry, argues with himself. Noah
appears, curious, but keeps walking. He stops, returns.EXT. ALLEY – LATER
They talk. We learn about Gino and his emotional problems.
Why did Noah stop, help to him? Seemed like the thing to do.EXT. ALLEY – MORNING
Gino needs to get home, offers cash, Noah won’t take it. Why?
Noah doesn’t want anyone to get ideas that he’s gonna keep
doing whatever job it is he’s doing. He looks heavenward.Noah challenges God, reaches into the backpack, pulls out a
fistful of crap. Noah is confident there’s nothing that would
interest Gino. A bunch of nothing… A string dangles loose.The string stuns Gino, he realizes that thanks to Noah, he
now has a lifeline to Christ. He ties the string on his
rearview, tells Noah to go to Father Zeke’s homeless shelter.ACT FIVE
INT. THE ADAM’S MANSION – DAY
In Belle Meade. Set up MARY ADAMS and MILLARD, her scheming
father who is angry she isn’t interested in any of the young
men attracted to her. Mary still loves Noah. They argue.EXT. ALL-TO-Z HOMELESS SHELTER – DAY
Father Zeke and Kane talk outside the shelter. Kane stuffs a
bill into the priest’s pocket, smiles. Kane walks off.Noah watches from a distance, fearful, has a flashback of
Abel’s face in the Humvee again.How can Abel still be alive? What will Noah do?
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Can’t reply on thread so here it be:
BWTV-AI Mod 3 – Lesson 10: Create a Beat Sheet
Sylvia’s Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is…this gave me a chance to zone in on the gist of everything I have been putting together. I tried not to put in extra detail as that is forthcoming. It’s interesting how the show is morphing itself.
ASSIGNMENT:
Show Concept: Charity galas and romantic mishaps intertwine with pediatric hospital healing and disappearing paranormal mysteries.
Logline: In the world of charity galas and romantic mishaps, a woman’s philanthropic journey uncovers hospital paranormal secrets and threatens to unveil the mysteries of Pediatric Patients Ghostly Guardians angry attitudes.
Inciting Incident: During the gala, Emily sees a child thought to be dead appear walking along the dance floor. The investors are too drunk and happy to think much of it. The child vanishes.
<ul type=”disc”>
- A story = High Concept story: Emily is drawn into the unexplained paranormal activity heals some children while others disappear.
- B story = Colleagues and Competitors discomfort and denials.
- C story = Love triangles. (not sure where this will enter the story.)
TEASER
INT. Hotel Ball Room — Evening
Emily runs an elaborate pediatric fundraiser. All the bigshots are present.
After a disagreement with Lily Hastings, Emily gets cryptic messages on her phone.
Emily sees a child thought to be dead walk and vanish.
ACT 1
INT. Hotel Ball Room – Cont.
Abigail Montclair, while mingling, overhears whispered rumors about strange occurrences in the hospital.
Dr. Daniel Whitman displays visible discomfort around certain guests. He is referred to as too old and “losing it” by his colleagues.
Lily Hastings, in a covert conversation with a terminally ill patient’s parents, alludes to a “special treatment” beyond medical science, teasing her connection to the supernatural.
Emily confronts Lily’s veiled accusations and thinly veiled threats, hinting at her dark past and deepening the mystery.
INT. Hospital Office — Day
Emily explores. Emily’s investigation unveils a photo’s detailing the hospital’s century-long history with the paranormal.
INT. Hospital Room — Day
Emily walks in on Lily and confronts her with questions.
INT. Hospital — Day
Exasperated, Lily takes Emily into a hidden room and its contents unveils a journal detailing the hospital’s century-long history with the paranormal, explicitly tying Emily’s family to its legacy.
ACT 2
INT. Pediatric Ward — Next Day
Abigail enters to ask questions for the local newspaper. Abigail witnesses Lily communicating with an apparition.
INT. Hospital Hallway — Night
Dr. Whitman is seen destroying medical records.
INT. Child’s Room – Night
Description: Emily and Lily are forced to cooperate when a patient’s life is saved through unexplainable means, drawing Emily irrevocably into the paranormal world.
ACT 3
INT. Pediatric Ward – Next Morning
Hospital staff begin to act out of character, with some showing uncanny knowledge of events they shouldn’t know about.
Emily’s philanthropic work is revealed as a facade for her true mission: to uncover the truth about the hospital’s supernatural occurrences.
INT. Pediatric Ward – Day
Abigail discovers a locked filing cabinet filled with records of paranormal healing sessions, suggesting a long-concealed history of supernatural involvement.
INT. Office – Day
Emily and Dr. Whitman share a charged conversation about “legacy” and “responsibility.”
INT. Child’s Room – Cont.
Emily, in a daring move to save a child, channels a ghostly entity, fully embracing the paranormal for the first time and revealing her abilities to a shocked Dr. Whitman.
ACT 4
INT. Hospital – Next Day
Abigail publishes an article on the hospital, igniting public scandal and forcing Emily to confront her revealing Abigail is Emily’s long lost daughter.
INT. Dr. Whitman’s Office – Day
Having secret society emblems and discussing their plans to harness the paranormal for their gain, Lily and Dr. Whitman reveal their dual allegiances.
INT. Hospital – Cont.
In a crisis, Lily’s supernatural abilities are exposed as she saves a life, drawing Abigail’s attention, risking the exposure of the hospital’s secrets.
Abigail publishes a more detailed article on the hospital’s hidden wing/room, reinforcing public scandal and forcing Emily to confront her daughter and their intertwined destinies. This catches the attention of the Hospital Executives.
INT. Hospital – Afternoon
The article triggers a whistleblower within the hospital staff, leading to a leak of documents that prove the existence of the paranormal activities and a secret society’s involvement.
ACT 5
INT. Hospital – Evening
Characters face personal crises that challenge their beliefs: Emily must choose between her family’s legacy and the safety of her secret, Lily between her humanity and her supernatural duties, and Dr. Whitman between his medical oath and the secret society.
INT. Hospital – Cont.
Emily’s deep personal connection to the hospital’s paranormal history is fully disclosed, showing her as a descendant of the hospital’s founders, who were protectors of its supernatural secrets. Emily denies.
A conspiracy is presented as the full scope of a secret society’s plans revealed, aiming to manipulate paranormal forces to control life and death, presenting a dire threat to all. Fingers are pointed. Stories denied.
INT. Nurses Charge Station – Evening
The authorities arrive and escort Emily out of the Hospital.
As Emily is escorted out of the hospital, she summons a deity that calms a child.
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Natalie’s Beat Sheet
WIL: Things are finally taking some congruent, definitive shape.
A Storyline: Sola’s journey to unite the warring pantheons of gods to avert the annihilation of divine and mortal realms.
This storyline focuses on Sola’s growth, challenges, and ultimate quest to fulfill her destiny as the chosen orphan with the power to bridge the realms and restore balance.
B Storyline: Divine conflict, power struggles, and conspiracies among the gods.
This storyline explores the machinations and conspiracies within the divine realms
C Storyline: Sola’s journey of self-discovery, relationships, and lineage.
This storyline delves into Sola’s journey as she grapples with her identity, relationships, and the mystery of her lineage.
Show Concept:
In a bid to prevent the annihilation of divine and mortal realms, a Hawaiian orphan teen must embark on a perilous quest to forge alliances among warring pantheons of gods stricken by an ancient curse.
Inciting Incident: Sola’s inability to control her newfound power unleashes an ancient curse that affects Hawaiian gods’ ability to protect Earth
Teaser: (1)
EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE, HAWAII – DAY 1
SOLA, ASH, POLLY
ASH notices SOLA racing by in distress
Act 1: (8.5)
EXT. NEAR CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – CONTINUED – 1
SOLA, ASH, POLLY
Ash tells Sola that Uncle Paul is called to see Kahuna Uli, and she leaves to see him.
INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 2.5
ULI, PAUL
ULI warns PAUL about Sola’s mother’s gift and wants to keep it a secret from Sola
INT. THRONE ROOM, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – FLASHBACK – DAY – 1.5
APOLLO, TULA
Apollo sees Tula stealing a Lightning Bolt’s power
5. INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – CONT’D – 6/8
ULI, PAUL
Paul argues that he promised Sola’s mother to give Sola a necklace for protection. Uli insists on keeping it safe somewhere else for the time being.
6. EXT. NEAR ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1
SOLA, POLLY
Polly catches Sola eavesdropping on Uli’s and Paul’s conversation about her mother’s gift. She asks Polly for her help finding her mother’s necklace. She reluctantly agrees.
INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1.5
ULI, PAUL, EARTH SPIRIT
Uli summons Earth Spirit who reveals an ancient curse that coincides with Sola’s BD.
8. INT. PAUL’S TENT, CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 2
SOLA, POLLY
The necklace zaps Sola with a bolt of lightning, making her disappear.
END OF ACT 1
Turning Point: Sola’s mother’s necklace activates Zeus’ power.
Act 2: (11.5)
9. INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 2.5
ULI, PAUL, POLLY
Uli and Paul discuss the ramifications of the curse. Polly informs about Sola’s disappearance.
10. INT. HERA’S PARLOR, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 2.5
SOLA, HECATE, HERA
Sola overhears HECATE and HERA plotting a coup against Zeus.
11. INT. ULI’S SHRINE, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 1 1/8
ULI, LONO
Uli tells LONO about the prophecy, Paul and his students, and asks him to get the Elders involved
12. EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1
PAUL, ASH
Paul tells Ash to keep students in the City of Refuge while he goes to awaken the Gods.
13. INT. THRONE ROOM, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 1.5
SOLA, TULA, APOLLO, ANTEROS
Sola witnesses Tula giving Anteros her baby girl.
14. INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1.5
ULI, KAMA
Uli and KAMA prepare to summon Sola back from the mythical realm. Kama steals Uli’s amulet for healing and protection.
15. INT. HERA’S PARLOR, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY 2.5
HECATE, ULI, KAMA, SOLA, HERA
Hecate spies on Uli, Kama, and Sola, and (decides she wants the girl). She says they’ll get the war.
END OF ACT 2
Turning Point: Hecate learns about the curse and Sola’s role in winning the war.
Act 3: (12? )
16. EXT. ULI’S SHRINE, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 2
ULI, LONO, KAMA
Uli asks Lono to advocate for protecting Sola and enlists Kama to bring her to Hawaiki Island.
17. EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1
SOLA, ASH, POLLY
Sola looks for Uncle Paul. Ash tells her that Paul is getting ready to leave for LA. She tells Polly ab. Mt.Olympus.
18. INT. PAUL’S TENT, CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1
PAUL
Paul gathers the Olympian Gods’ artifacts and teleports to Mt. Olympus
19. INT. HERA’S PARLOR, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 2.5
HECATE, HERA, ANTEROS
Hecate tells Hera about a beautiful woman in Zeus’ Hall of Thrones. Hera leaves to face Zeus, while Hecate summons ANTEROS and orders him to bond with Sola and find out who she is.
20. EXT. VILLAGE, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 2
LONO, KU
Lono tells Ku Uli’s idea of bringing Sola to Hawaiki Island. Ku suggests Kama will do his job.
21. INT. HERA’S PARLOR, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 2.5
HECATE, HERA, ANTEROS
Hecate tells Hera about a beautiful woman in Zeus’ Throne Room, then summons ANTEROS to bond with Sola and find out who she is without knowing that Hera’s spy sees them
22. EXT. VILLAGE, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 2
KU, KAMA
Ku calls Kama’s debt, curses him to turn into a Tiki Statue if he lies, and enlists him to bedazzle Sola and deliver her to the Land of the Dead. Kama steals Ku’s war club and shrinks it into his body tattoos.
23. EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1
SOLA, POLLY, ANTEROS
Sola talks about Mt.Olympus and her strange powers
24. INT. THRONE ROOM, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 1.5
HERA, ZEUS, APOLLO
Hera accuses Zeus of infidelity. Apollo comes to life and brings in the news about the curse. Zeus sets to find the thief who stole his power.
25. EXT. CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 2
ASH, POLLY, SOLA. ANTEROS
Ash, Polly, and Sola are relocating the camp. Sola talks about Mt. Olympus. Anteros introduces himself as Antony, Paul’s intern from the Art Museum in LA. Sola falls in love with Anteros.
END OF ACT 3:
Turning Point: Sola falls for Anteros
Act 4: (12)
26. EXT. VILLAGE, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 1
ULI, KANE
Uli asks KANE for support, but he relies on the majority opinion
27. INT. THRONE ROOM, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 1.5
APOLLO, OLYMPIANS
Apollo discusses the curse and its ramifications with the Olympians, overwhelmed by fear. He says, nothing to worry about, their artifacts are safe.
28. EXT. CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1.5
SOLA, KAMA, ASH, ANTEROS
Sola shares her suspicion that Tula may be her missing mother. Anteros and Kama suggest using her power to offer their help to look for Sola’s mother
29. INT. HERA’S PARLOR, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 2.5
HECATE, HERA
Hecate attempts to convince Hera to ally with Goddesses against Patriarchy, but Hera strikes Hecate with magic trying to find out where Tula is, threatening to use Sola as a bate.
30. INT. HALE MUA, HAWAIKI ISLAND – DAY – 2
Ku meets with the Elders and insists on taking control of Earth before the curse takes effect
31. INT. THRONE ROOM, HADES’ PALACE, UNDERWORLD – 1.5
HECATE, PERSEPHONE, IRIS
Hecate visits PERSEPHONE to convince her that Hera is dangerous and sway her to her side. She tells IRIS that her time is coming and that she would do anything to get her out, even if it involves dark magic
32. INT. PAUL’S TENT, CAMPGROUNDS, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 2
KAMA, SOLA, (ASH & POLLY?)
Kama steals Apollo’s artifact and tries bedazzling Sola. Sola tries her necklace and gets imbued with powers, that banish the Gods’ artifacts
END OF ACT 4
Turning Point: Sola banishes the Gods’ artifacts
Act 5: (5.5)
33. INT. THRONE ROOM, PALACE, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 1.5
APOLLO, OLYMPIANS
Apollo disappears, and the Olympians lose their power, then decide to evacuate Mt. Olympus
34. INT. ULI’S HALE, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1.5
ULI, SOLA
Uli reveals to Sola her destiny and importance in preventing the war and saving the world from annihilation
35. INT. HERA’S PARLOR, MT. OLYMPUS – DAY – 1
HECATE, HERA
Hera leaves Mt.Olympus to gather allies. Hecate wants Sola’s power and confronts Anteros ordering him to bring Sola to Mt. Olympus
36. INT. PAUL’S TENT, CAMPGROUND, CITY OF REFUGE – DAY – 1. 5
ASH, KAMA, SOLA, POLLY, ANTEROS
Sola discusses ways to search for the Olympian Gods’ artifacts. Kama fails at his magic, Anteros tries to charm Sola. She uses her powers and gets them swept away into a mysterious portal to a mythical world.
END OF THE PILOT EPISODE
Cliffhanger: Sola uses her power and sweeps Kama and Anteros into a mythical world
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Margaret’s Beat Sheet
What I learned: My first try was too long – I was writing a paragraph for each scene and had to cut it down to the essence.
STORIES
A= Jack’s journey to leadership
B= Hedeon vs Donek
C= Role of the Orb
PILOT CONCEPT
During an earthquake, a man enters a parallel world where he sees visions of the historic Masada siege and becomes the religious leader he despises.
INCITING INCIDENT
Transport to a parallel world where Jack is caught between two warring tribes.
BEAT SHEET
Act 1 – pages 1-16, set up and see the Old Ways
Teaser:
1. EXT. TOP OF MASADA – DAY
Jack speaks with tourists, rails against the religious leader that initiated the historic group suicide. Circles of sun light bounce off Jack’s body, reflect in Jack’s sunglasses, reflection changes into the historic Masada figures. An earthquake, Jack falls into a crevasse, disappears.
Act 1:
2. INT. TELEVISION STUDIO – ON STAGE – DAY
Jack is onstage with his father. Stage lights play with Jack’s body as he makes a passionate plea on camera for donations for an orphanage.
3. INT. TELEVISION STUDIO – OFF STAGE – DAY
Jack’s father alludes to Jack having the perfect face for his scheme. He walks away, leaving Jack confused. Jack calls girlfriend, holding ring box. She agrees to meet for lunch, her cold tone perplexing.
4. EXT. SIDE WALK CAFÉ – DAY
Jack’s girlfriend meets Jack at restaurant, angry. He tries to propose but is cut off with allegations of fraud, stealing charity donations with his father. He tries to deny, but she spews out his inability to lead versus following others into crime, then leaves him confused.
INT. TELEVISION STUDIO – OFF STAGE – DAY
Father tells Jack he only took the money to support Jack’s lifestyle. Jack hints at getting out and father threatens that change must happen slowly so they are undetected because Jack was the only one who made pleas for donations so he would be the one put in jail. Jack agrees to stay.
5. INT. TELEVISION STUDIO – ON STAGE – DAY
Jack’s father preaches to online congregation while Jack has a vision of the same speech on Masada. The father’s focus on the speech to money sends Jack running
INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Jack on phone, making plea with girlfriend not to throw away 5 years of friendship. She tells him not to call again. Jack hangs up as he sees a vision of Masada, strewn with dead bodies. Depressed, he looks for a bottle of pills, downs them. Heads towards his bedroom…
6. INT. JACK’S APARTMENT – BEDROOM – SAME
…lays down on the bed. Street lights dance from window onto his body, mysteriously, not unlike the sun spots on Masada or the stage lights. The light moves over his chest, over his heart. He jumps up, runs towards bathroom, sticks his finger down his throat, gags.
Turning Point:
7. EXT. WHITTIER – SIDEWALK – NEXT DAY
Jack on mobile, attempts several times to dial girlfriend’s number, he is blocked. An earthquake, Jack falls into a crevasse.
Act 2 – pages 17-30 Challenge the Old Ways
8. EXT. OTHER WORLD – BEACH/BLUFF – DAY
Inciting Incident (This scene should represent the first season story: He saves the Donek from the Hedeon, moving to the safety of a large rock, the Mesa). Jack wakes up in another world, lizards run by him. Jack chased by snakes, climbs the bluff.
EXT. TOP OF ROCKY BLUFF – SAME
Jack is rescued by Alo (Counselor of the Donek). Jack and Alo both keep their origin a secret but Alo knows Jack is from Earth, like himself. Provides him a cover story.
EXT. TOWN – SIDEWALK – SAME
Jack has Masadic visions, has to choose between Donek and Hedeon. Jack chooses to stay with the Donek and Alo.
INT. ALO’S HOME – DAY
Jack meets Imara, instant chemistry Imara hides her attraction to Jack with an unreasonable anger at Alo for allowing a stranger with an unknown origin to the tribe. Alo shares that Jack is probably a prophet, at which Jack bristles, denies the allegation.
9. EXT. TOWN – ALLEY – DAY
Imara meets with Taron. She tells him about Jack showing up and that Alo thinks he is a prophet. Jack sees Imara meeting with a Hedeon man. He overhears Taron tell Imara that her “concerns’ are being taken care of. He sees her give him a hug before he leaves.
10. EXT. TOWN – SIDEWALK – DAY
Jack confronts Imara about Hedeon meeting.
EXT. HEDEON PLAZA – DAY
Armann signals Taron, returning from town, asks if he has seen his wife. Taron denies it, asks if he wants Armann to take a message to her. Armann carefully suggests he plans on making her current living situation intolerable so she will return. Taron does respond.
11. INT. ALO’S HOME – STUDY – DAY
Jack sees a vision of a Romans inciting soldiers to attack. Alo wants Jack to become the Donek’s prophet. Jack says, “no” and leaves to find a way back to Earth.
Turning point: The journey remains the same, but the meaning / context of the story changes in a huge way.
12. EXT. BEACH – DAY
Jack sees a vision, can’t find portal back to Earth.
Act 3 – pages 31-43 With the Midpoint change, the Old Ways are dropping off and profound moments give us the New Ways.
13. INT. ALO’S HOME – DAY
Jack tells Imara his vision, does not disclose he is from Earth. He is visibly distraught, Imara comforts him, decides to trust him, urges him to tell Alo for the sake of the Donek people, that this may not be what he wants, but it is the will of “Taaba” to be their prophet. Jack says he can share with Alo and Imara, but this isn’t his fight, he won’t be a spokesperson.
14. INT. DONEK TEMPLE – DAY
Alo meets with the Donek leaders, tells them Jack is seeing visions and he thinks it is a foreshadowing of a Hedeon attack. The leaders refuse to listen or take any action saying no Hedeon has attacked the Donek ever.
15. EXT. HEDEON PLAZA – DAY
Armann tells a group of Hedeon men that the Donek are out to destroy their children. As Armann speaks, the men grow angry. A ball of light floats in front of Armann. The men wait to see how Armann will react. The Orb disappears as Armann turns his back on it and leaves.
16. INT. ARMANN’S HOME – DAY
Arkuji, a Hedeon guard, meets with Armann and Taron. Tells Armann he must order the soldiers to attack, it will be the only way to gain dominance and stop the Donek influence. Taron argues against it. Armann asks Taron for his loyalty if called to attack. Taron swears fealty.
17. EXT. ALO’S HOME – EVENING
A man covered in a robe and hood knocks on Alo’s door. Alo opens, pulls him inside.
18. INT. ALO’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – SAME
Alo takes the hooded man (Taron) to his study. The man sees Imara and Jack talking on the couch but doesn’t acknowledge them, walks right by them.
19. INT. LIVING ROOM – SAME
Jack asks Imara why the man who brings her medicine is meeting with Alo. Imara is distracted, says she doesn’t know. Jack asks if Alo is sick. He doesn’t believe Imara’s denials.
20. INT. ALO’S STUDY – SAME
Taron tells Alo to prepare his people for a possible attack. Asks him to protect Imara since Arkuji seeks her life. Since she destroyed the relationship Arkuji had with a Donek woman. Alo asks for details on the attack, Taron refuses. Alo assures him he will keep Imara safe.
21. INT. LIVING ROOM – SAME
Taron leaves, not acknowledging Imara, which upsets her. Jack gets up to confront Alo, but Imara pulls him back, tells him to leave it be.
22. EXT. HEDEON PLAZA – NEXT DAY
The Hedeon men gather in the plaza listening to Arkuji rail against the Hedeon. When Armann and Taron appear, Arkuji challenges Armann to do something. Armann says he has decided. They are going to fight the Donek.
INT. ALO’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Alo tells Imara she must not go to town; she is not safe. He refuses to give her specifics. Frustrated with the lack of information and refusing to be held captive in Alo’s home, she storms out. Jack leaves to protect Imara.
Act 4 – pages 44-52 Test the change in this character! Prove New Ways!
23. EXT. TOWN STREET – DAY
A group of Hedeon men swarm the streets, striking out at any Donek. Donek flee. Arkuji spots Imara and runs to attack her.
24. EXT. ALO’S HOME – SAME
Jack sees the Orb in the distance, at the outskirts of town, he runs towards it.
25. EXT. OUTSKIRTS TOWN – SAME
A Hedeon man threatens Jack, saying Armann cannot tolerate Hedeon who sympathize with the Donek and encourages Jack not to align himself with the religious cult, run from the Orb. Jack ignores him.
26. EXT. TOWN STREET – DAY
Jack sees Arkuji, club raised, yelling at her. He runs up behind him just as Arkuji knocks Imara out, wrestles him to the ground. Jack picks up Imara’s limp form, runs back to Alo’s home.
Act 5 – pages 53-60 Set up for next episode
31. EXT. ALO’S HOME – DAY
Jack carries Imara inside, she wakes up, hugs Jack. Jack kisses her in the moment and she pushes back. She reveals that Taron is her brother. She wonders if she would be safer with the Hedeon but is indecisive.
32. INT. DONEK TEMPLE – DAY
Alo addresses the leaders; states they must prepare for the Hedeon’s apparent intent for war. Alo reminds them that Jack foresaw this and ask them once again to consider him. They vote yes.
33. INT. ALO’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Alo addresses Imara and Jack. Says the leaders want him to be a Donek prophet. Jack is resolute, will not accept. Imara argues with him and Jack accepts the role.
Inciting Incident to propel us into next episode
34. INT. DONEK TEMPLE – DAY
Alo bestowed the robe and mantle of Donek prophet on Jack. The Orb is present in the background, unseen by Alo and Jack. As the mantle is placed, Jack sees the Jewish leader enticing all of the Jews on Masada to group suicide.
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Barbe’s Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is that even though I didn’t want to edit out all the info I had already entered in the beat sheet, it proved worthwhile. I found some opportunities to tighten up the story.
DESTINY
Concept: Noren Amsala, a wealthy inter-planetary industrialist and his wife, Nika Krilan, an archaeologist, travel the Sector in their space yacht, Destiny. As an inter-planetary syndicate gains strength in the system, the couple learns of the husband’s previously unknown, now 20-year-old son. They follow clues to the son’s whereabouts while battling the threats to their empire.
Inciting Incident: Noren Amsala’s mining facility on the planet Lumor is nearly destroyed in an unprovoked attack by an unknown faction.
A Story: Turns out, Noren Amsala has a price on his head and all the thugs in the sector are gunning for him.
B Story: Nika Krilan, archaeologist, and two of her colleagues are trapped in a mysterious cave-in while exploring a hidden chamber in the ruins of Lumor.
C Story: A mysterious stranger saves Nika and is invited to travel on The Destiny.
Episode 1: “Galactic Nexus”
TEASER
EXT. MINING FACILITY – DAY
Infiltrators attack Noren’s mining facility on Lumor.
INT. SPACESHIP
Above the planet, a figure in shadow watches the attack on a viewscreen.
ACT 1
EXT. SPACE
Two small spaceships (Odyssey Flyer – 1 & 2) race each other through space.
NOREN AMSALA in Odyssey Flyer 1 (red markings)
NIKA KRILAN in Odyssey Flyer 2 (blue markings)
I/E. DESTINY – BRIDGE
GAM at controls. Monitors performance of the Flyers. He comments on the recklessness of the pilots. JEZ jumps on console.
EXT. SPACE
The two pilots continue to race and banter.
One speeds off in front of the other.
I/E. DESTINY – HANGAR BAY
The two Flyers land. Two pilots emerge. Noren and his wife Nika. Tease each other on performance.
INT. TURBOLIFT – DAY
Nika and Noren discuss the importance of Nika’s consulting on the dig on Lumor.
EXT. SPACE
The space yacht Destiny is in orbit above the planet Lumor.
INT. DESTINY – BRIDGE
Noren and Nika enter. Gam at controls. On screen, ELYSIA VALERIA, old friend of Noren’s. Jez purrs.
Discuss landing on Lumor. Noren’s meetings. Nika to join two Lumorian archaeologists, Dr. Kellan Asher and Dr. Ilyana Darrow, to study the ruins of the old city.
Nika knows Kellan, doesn’t know Dr. Darrow.
Inciting incident: As they are talking, Elysia receives word and must break it to Noren that Noren’s mining facility on Lumor has been attacked shattering the couple’s plans for a peaceful visit.
I/E. DESTINY – HANGAR BAY
The Odyssey Flyer 1 exits into space.
ACT 2
EXT. PLANET LUMOR – DAY
The Odyssey Flyer 2 flies past Lumor’s futuristic skyline, showcasing the planet’s advanced technology juxtaposed with vibrant marketplaces teeming with alien species.
A man in the marketplace crowd looks up as the ship flies overhead.
EXT. PLANET LUMOR – SPACEPORT – DAY
Nika disembarks from Odyssey Flyer 2 onto the bustling streets of Lumor. She is greeted by archaeologists, DR. KELLAN ASHER and DR. ILYANA DARROW.
Nika, Kellan and Iyana head toward the ruins.
EXT. ODYSSEY FLYER 1 – DAY
Noren, accompanied by Elysia and a two crew members head to the mining facility on the remote plains of Lumor. A discussion hints at the emergence of the Syndicate and Vosskara Slyth.
INT. ODYSSEY FLYER – DAY
Flyer malfunctions. They go down in an emergency landing.
EXT. OLD CITY – DAY
Nika, Kellan, and Ilyana watch an intriguing holographic display of Lumor’s ancient past. Nika notices something in the presentation – a hidden door.
EXT. OLD CITY – ALLEY – DAY
Nika’s curiosity leads her to a hidden alley where she discovers a concealed entrance to an ancient temple.
EXT. TEMPLE – DAY
Nika grapples with the decision to enter the temple, knowing it could cause division between her new colleagues. Argument between Kellan and Ilyana. Nika tries to moderate.
Nika uses a communicator to try to reach Noren before entering the temple.
EXT. PLANET LUMOR – DAY
The Flyer is in the ditch. Crew outside inspecting.
INT. ODYSSEY FLYER – DAY
While they are outside the comms chatter – no one to hear.
I/E. OLD CITY – TEMPLE – DAY
Nika gathers her courage and steps into the dark, mysterious temple, plunging herself into a new world of ancient wonders and potential dangers. Kellan and Ilyana follow.
EXT. ODYSSEY FLYER – DAY
Noren discovers the ship has been sabotaged. One of the crew looks nervous. Noren confronts him. He runs.
Saboteur gets beamed away – by whom?
Noren, Elysia, and other crew member in disbelief. They fix the ship. Go back inside.
INT. TEMPLE – DAY
Nika discovers cryptic inscriptions that hint at a lost civilization. Nika records the walls and the artifacts.
The site in unstable. Rumbling noises. Rocks sliding.
The team continues to investigate.
EXT. MINING FACILITY
Noren avoids the saboteur’s assassination attempt and arrives at the mining facility to assist in the apprehension of the perpetrators.
INT. TEMPLE – DAY
With resolve, Nika pushes forward, determined to unlock the secrets hidden within the temple.
A sudden collapse in the temple’s structure, trapping her and her colleagues inside.
ACT 3
EXT. MINING FACILITY
Noren arrives in the Flyer. Some of his “troops” have arrived. More are arriving on ships. They plan their counterattack.
INT. TEMPLE
Dust settling. Ilyria is hurt. The situation is dire, Nika uses her telepathic bond with Jez to guide the team to her location.
INT. DESTINY
Jez bothers Gamma – to distraction. Gam contacts the authorities on Lumor.
EXT. MINING FACILITY
Fight with perpetrators.
EXT. TEMPLE – DAY
A crowd gathers. Lumorian locals aid in the rescue effort. Among them is the mysterious stranger from the marketplace.
EXT. MINING FACILITY
Fight with perpetrators continues. Noren and troops vanquish the perpetrators.
Noren and Elyria receive word of the cave-in.
INT. ODYSSEY FLYER
Noren asks Elyria to marshal forces.
INT. TEMPLE
Ilyria confesses to causing the cave-in – for Slyth using a sonic device. Nika finds the artifact.
EXT. TEMPLE – DAY
Noren arrives.
The rescue team devises a risky plan to breach the temple’s collapsed entrance.
A’lyx uses remote viewing to find a hidden passage.
INT. PASSAGE
Noren and A’Lyx run through the passage. They come to a dead end.
A’Lyx uses remote viewing to find a hidden doorway.
With remote viewing he locates Nika.
Scene sequence of the rescue from either side of the wall.
INT. TEMPLE
Noren and A’Lyx enter the hidden chamber. Nika et al are saved.
A’Lyx notices that the artifact is gone. He shoots Ilyana deadly look.
ACT 4
INT. DESTINY – LOUNGE
A gathering (approx. 20) aboard Destiny to thank everyone involved in the rescue.
INT. DESTINY – GALLEY
In an adjoining room Dr. Darrow, arm in a sling, has a conversation Noren and Elysia. They reassure her that they will protect her and her family. They will get her safely off-planet so she can rejoin her family.
INT. DESTINY – LOUNGE
Dr. Darrow joins the gathering and has a conversation with A’Lyx, after which he leaves the gathering.
Elysia Valeria attends and has a serious conversation with Noren about the rising threat of Vosskara Slyth. Noren is eager to thank A’Lyx, the mysterious stranger, for helping to save Nika. Noren wants to pay him back for his efforts.
Turning Point: As payment, A’Lyx asks for a ride – to Cryos. Noren is taken aback since Cryos is not only way out of their way, but it is also Noren’s home planet where he was once betrayed and wrongfully imprisoned. Nevertheless, he grants A’Lyx’s request.
Dr. Darrow learns that her father has been injured because of her failure to follow through on her assignment. She needs to leave immediately.
ACT 5
INT. DESTINY – CORRIDOR
Noren shows A’Lyx the way to the guest quarters and takes the opportunity to show off The Destiny.
INT. DESTINY – NOREN AND NIKA’S QUARTERS
Nika reviews the footage of the chamber in the ruins before the cave-in and the artifact that she stole.
INT. DESTINY
A’Lyx and Gamma have a congenial conversation.
EXT. LUMOR – NIGHT
On the return flight to Lumor, the shuttle carrying Ilyana crashes.
INT. DESTINY – A’LYX’S QUARTERS
Alone in his quarters A’Lyx tosses a small piece of equipment on the table – the navigation stabilizer from Iyana’s shuttle. He opens a communication device and sends a two-word message – “I’m in.”
INT. SPACESHIP
A figure in shadow receives A’Lyx’s message. A bony finger taps off the communicator.
The figure is seen from behind.
The entire bridge comes into view.
EXT. SPACE
The architecture of a large space station comes into view.
The station hangs in space.
More and more background stars come into view.
A starfield.
A black rift in space.
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Sunil Pappu’s Beat Sheet
“What I learned doing this assignment is…to translate the outline into beats and fill in the blanks so the story flows keeping the structure points intact.”
Title: Hawala Heist
Format/Genre: One-Hour Heist Thriller Series
Show Concept: A rookie RAW agent joins a crew of international thieves to penetrate an underground banking network to retrieve a ledger that can crash the financial world.
Pilot Concept: Rookie agent, Priya joins a heist team to decode messages to stop a terror attack that is used as a distraction for the sale of a ledger on the Hawala market.
Inciting Incident: Priya is forced to join the heist team to stop a terror attack when her class project turns into a real covert operation.
A Story: The covert operation
B Story: The Hawala network
C Story: Heist team secrets
Mystery 1: Who is the mole in the heist team who gave away their plan
Mystery 2: What is the ghost ledger and how do you steal it?
Impossible Goal: To steal the elusive ledger and bring down the powerful underground banking network of hawala
Major Conflict: Priya and the heist team have a mole that is working with the Hawala network they are trying to bring down by stealing the ghost ledger.
BEAT SHEET
Teaser
EXT. BACK ALLEYS (MUMBAI) – EVENING
PRIYA RAO (AKA Rookie) weaves through the back alleys of Mumbai on a motorcycle, a storm thundering overhead. She’s pursued by ominous figures in the downpour.
EXT. FESTIVE CELEBRATIONS. STREET (MUMBAI) – EVENING
A bustling street scene of Mumbai during a festival in the rain.
INTERCUT – BACK ALLEYS / FESTIVE CELEBRATIONS
Juxtaposing the celebrations and the tension of the chase with shadowy figures tracking Priya’s movements.
EXT/INT. SAFEHOUSE – NIGHT
Narrowly escaping, she arrives at a safe house, revealing a ledger from her backpack. The team including Arjun Nair (AN), Meera Verma (MV), Sofia Petrovna (SP), Mandeep Singh (MS), Lina Chen (LC), tries to verify the ledger’s authenticity when heavily armed military trucks show up outside.
INT. SAFEHOUSE – NIGHT
They scurry out the back into the woods while the safe house is raided by RAW agents shortly after Priya’s arrival. In the aftermath, hidden surveillance equipment is found, suggesting an inside leak.
EXT. FOREST – NIGHT
Priya notices that the ledger is blank beyond the first few pages… The team is shocked—the real ledger is still out there, and they’ve been betrayed by one of their own. The team is shaken—there’s a mole amongst them.
INT. DINER – DAY
Priya discovers a secret compartment in her backpack with a cryptic message in a book. Priya recalls receiving a similar puzzle from her childhood when her father would have his friends over to their secluded mansion.
Act 1:
INT. UNIVERSITY LAWNS – DAY
Priya’s university life as a math prodigy. She declines the invitation to go out with her CLASSMATES.
INT. PRIYA’S HOME – EVENING
She balances her university life with caring for her ailing FATHER.
INT. NIGHT CLUB – NIGHT
HARSH MEHTA (AKA The Cobra) is tasked with eliminating threats to the Hawala network, including potentially his team and keeps tabs on Priya’s classmates. SOFIA PETROVNA (AKA Chameleon) in disguise at the nightclub sees Harsh, gets rattled, and tries to shake it off in the bathroom.
INT. PRIYA’S HOME – NIGHT
Priya has a strange recurring dream involving symbols and numbers that she doesn’t understand, hinting at her hidden lineage and her mind’s mysterious workings. She wakes from sleep, shaken by the vivid dream. She scribbles down what she remembers, not yet understanding its significance.
INT. TESTING SITE – DAY
Priya and her class are put through a series of tests, perhaps by the heist team to ensure her loyalty, or by circumstances that force her to use her cryptography skills under life-threatening pressure. Her talent in pattern recognition and cryptanalysis shines during a class project.
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
As Priya works on her class project, she catches a classmate trying to steal her work. Priya is publicly accused by a professor of stealing another student’s work, a plot to test her reactions under pressure. She recalls how her father hounded the media and was driven into hiding by false accusations of theft that led to his current ill health.
INT. PRIYA’S HOME – EVENING
Priya solves a complex puzzle left by her father, which is uniquely similar to the Hawala Architect’s known puzzles. Subtle hints through flashbacks or a distinctive pattern in her cryptanalysis work that resembles the Architect’s style.
INT. DINER – EVENING
Her professor bumps into her and her father at a diner – her two worlds collide in a dangerous and revealing way when her father is recognized by her professor.
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – NIGHT
Lina meets Priya and there’s a fleeting look of recognition or guilt that she quickly masks. Lina posing as a RAW agent questions Priya about the murder of her classmate and her missing class project file. The same one she was accused of cheating from in class. Lina reacts with a subtle but noticeable discomfort when Priya talks about her father, hinting at a shared history.
INT. CLASSROOM – DAY
Priya’s professor is suddenly detained by intelligence agents in the middle of a lecture, and she is questioned by real RAW agents.
INT. PROFESSOR’S ROOM – DAY
RAW agents handed a classified dossier that reveals that the unsanctioned ops is a personal agenda of her professor. They question her about the professor and his covert operation that she is unaware of. They threaten to dig up her father’s past forcing her to walk away and or become an accomplice and face the wrath of the RAW agency.
INT. LIBRARY – NIGHT
Priya digs into the classified dossier to find a much larger conspiracy, with her professor playing a role that’s more than academic.
INT. PRIYA’S HOME – NIGHT
Priya hides her double life secret from her ill father until she deciphers an encrypted message in the class project that reveals a terror threat. Priya must make an impossible choice, sacrificing her and her father’s safety to obtain crucial information to stop the terror threat.
EXT. SURVEILLANCE VAN – DAY
Priya is whisked away in a van. The class project is a cover for a real covert operation. The revelation that the class project is a front for a real mission pitches Priya into a world of espionage, raising the stakes of her everyday life. Priya is admitted to the covert ops team as a cipher.
Act 2:
INT. SECRET DEN – DAY
Now entrenched in a den of master thieves, Priya navigates the complex chemistry of her companions. As they orchestrate their infiltration of the Hawala’s underbelly, personal histories seep into the present—Arjun’s vendetta, Meera’s ghosts, Sofia’s missing pieces, Mandeep’s shadows, and Lina’s penance all converging in a dance of delicate deceit.
INT. PLANNING ROOM – EVENING
The professor shows his true self. Arjun codenamed “Raven,” masks his PTSD with a stoic demeanor. His internal battle is juxtaposed against his strategic genius as he meticulously plans the team’s moves to infiltrate the Hawala network and stop the terror attack.
EXT. SECRET DEN – NIGHT
Arjun’s behavior becomes erratic, he seems to be communicating with someone secretly, raising suspicions among the team.
INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT
Meera, the elusive “Ghost,” is seen navigating the digital world with unequaled skill, haunted by a past she seeks to obliterate, her secret online romance looming ominously in the backdrop. Meera receives a cryptic message that visibly disturbs her, but she dismisses it when questioned. When the team is planning their heist, Meera’s computer pings with the message, and she quickly closes it before anyone can see.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Sofia, the “Chameleon,” seamlessly slips into new identities, her mastery of disguise a metaphor for her internal search for self, her missing sister’s shadow ever-present. She’s charming and innocent.
INT. SURVEILLANCE ROOM – NIGHT
Mandeep, “Shadow,” is the embodiment of focus and skill, yet his heart is tied to Sofia, complicating his role with emotional undercurrents.
INT. PLANNING ROOM – DAY
Lina, the “Oracle,” is introduced as a clairvoyant of financial flows, her guilt for past misdeeds coloring her every action, setting up a narrative of atonement. How is Lina so familiar with Priya almost as if she’s known her from before?
INT. BATHROOM – DAY
Priya overhears a cryptic conversation between two team members (Meera & Sofia), hinting at a plot within the plot. What are Meera and Sofia hiding from the rest of the team, especially Priya?
INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – DAY
Shown as the charismatic leader of the Hawala Network with a peculiar ritual or superstition he follows religiously, believing it’s the source of his success, which could be an Achilles’ heel exploited by the heist team.
EXT/INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – DAY
Team members navigate their roles in the heist. The team’s tech specialist discovers real-time surveillance feeds that were previously undetected, indicating they have walked into a trap, forcing the team into immediate action to escape or counteract. They grab a Hawala operative and escape.
EXT. SECRET DEN – DAY
Arjun has a heated argument with a superior at RAW about his past decisions and their consequences, without revealing specifics to the audience. During a moment of tension within the team, Arjun reacts strongly to a team member’s suggestion of letting a minor Hawala operative go, hinting at his own regrettable past decision.
INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – EVENING
Raghav examines a complex financial chart indicating a drastic plan, then hides it when someone approaches. Raghav casually mentions a “game-changing move” during a phone call, with a ledger in the background. Initiating the sale of a secret ledger with global implications.
INT. CASH ROOM/HAWALA EXCHANGE – EVENING
Harsh is secretly financing terrorist factions for personal gain at risk of exposure. Why is Harsh sending cash boxes to terrorists?
EXT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – NIGHT
The team prepares for a complex infiltration. The team’s infiltration is nearly compromised when Arjun and Sofia unexpectedly encounter Harsh from their shared past, forcing them to improvise and bringing their secret vendetta to light amidst the operation. How do Arjun and Sofia know Harsh?
INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT
Meera’s old ally-turned-enemy hacks into the team’s system during a critical moment of the operation, exposing her past affiliations live on their screens, which turns the team against her until she proves her loyalty on the spot. Who hacked their system and did Meera aid them? Is she the mole?
INT. HAWAL EXCHANGE – NIGHT
Priya intercepts a message about the terror attack, which she decodes. However, it leads to the discovery of a hidden ledger implicating her father, casting doubts on her loyalty. Why is Priya receiving these messages?
INT. CASH ROOM/HAWALA EXHCANGE – NIGHT
Torn between saving her father’s legacy and stopping a terror attack, she makes a controversial decision that puts her in the eye of the storm.
Act 3:
INT. PLANNING ROOM – DAY
The team grapples with the implications of the ledger sale. Priya struggles with her father’s apparent guilt and her place on the team.
INT. CONTROL ROOM – DAY
Priya starts a secondary, unauthorized investigation into her father’s involvement.
INT. BEDROOM – NIGHT
Glimpses into the ledger’s contents through encrypted messages that Priya decrypts, teasing its importance and the devastating consequences if it falls into the wrong hands. What do the cryptic flashes of the ledger content mean? How does Priya have these memories?
INT. SECRET DEN – NIGHT
When the fake ledger is stolen under mysterious circumstances, Priya’s desperate attempt to retrieve it results in a confrontation with a team member, who reveals their betrayal by trying to leverage the ledger for personal gain. Who stole the ledger and why? Why did Arjun accuse Priya of theft? Did she, do it?
INT. PLANNING ROOM – DAY
As the team plans their next move, there’s a leak of information, and they can’t determine the source.
INT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – DAY
Arjun’s vendetta is revealed during a heated argument with another team member who accuses him of compromising the mission for personal revenge. His reaction is uncharacteristically emotional, hinting at his deeper motivations.
INT. CASH ROOM/HAWALA EXCHANGE – NIGHT
Arjun’s quest for vengeance against “The Cobra” intensifies, his sister’s memory fueling a relentless pursuit, but a lead on “The Cobra” could derail the mission.
INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT
Meera’s digital traces threaten exposure. She faces a choice: retain her anonymity or act against a looming threat to the team.
INT. NIGHT CLUB – NIGHT
Sofia uncovers a lead to her sister, her personal mission distracting her from the group’s objective and testing her loyalty. Why does Sofia push Mandeep away? Betrays Mandeep for her sister’s safety.
EXT. NIGHT CLUB – NIGHT
Mandeep grapples with suspicion and loyalty, anonymous tips leading him towards the mole, but his connection to Sofia complicates his judgment.
INT. CONTROL ROOM – DAY
Mandeep has a private conversation with Arjun, showing signs of genuine respect and camaraderie, which conflicts with his earlier suspicion. Mandeep and Arjun share a moment of understanding, and Mandeep is seen questioning an anonymous tip about Arjun being the mole.
INT. PLANNING ROOM – DAY
Lina’s past involvement with the Hawala Network comes to light, threatening her standing and forcing a decision that could alter her destiny.
INT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – DAY
Lina is recognized by an adversary during a financial transaction. She must then publicly confront her past actions, compelling her to disclose her true motivations to the team. How does Lina know details about the Hawala’s operations? Who is she talking to?
INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – DAY
Raghav’s interactions and secretive meetings hint at larger plans, with his seemingly irrational superstitions and rituals revealing a calculating mind planning a significant financial coup.
INT. PLANNING ROOM – EVENING
Priya is accused of being the mole due to her erratic investigation into her father.
INT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – NIGHT
The ghost ledger is found to be a list of sleeper agents. The team realizes that Priya’s father might have been framed, intertwining their mission with personal stakes. Was Priya’s induction into the team a coincide or an elaborate plan all along and who’s secretly pulling the strings behind the scenes?
Act 4:
INT. CONTROL ROOM – DAY
Priya’s efforts to clear her father’s name draw her deeper into espionage. Team members face their pasts, and the mission’s ethical boundaries blur. The true nature of the ledger begins to shift, as she unearths connections to global financial crimes.
INT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – DAY
Priya discovers a past alias of her father that connects him to the Hawala network. What is the nature of Lina and her father’s relationship?
INT. INTERROGATION ROOM – EVENING
During an intense interrogation by a RAW agent who has pieced together her connection to the ledger, Priya’s facade crumbles, and she’s forced to reveal her secret agenda in a tense standoff that threatens her father’s safety. What is Priya’s true identity and how is she related to the ledger?
INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT
Arjun’s mission becomes personal, and his leadership is challenged as he must choose between his thirst for revenge and the team’s cohesion.
INT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – NIGHT
Meera’s past affiliation with an adversary is revealed, her secret romance complicating her loyalties and forcing a confrontation with her own fears.
INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT
It’s revealed that Meera has a personal connection to one of the names in the ledger, casting doubt on her loyalty.
INT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – NIGHT
The team is in the midst of a tense operation when suddenly they’re ambushed. Meera’s workstation lights up with a flood of incriminating evidence planted against her. Accusations fly as trust disintegrates. In a desperate bid to clear her name, Meera uses her hacking skills in real-time to unmask the true mole, revealing it to be a setup by an old associate from her dark past who has infiltrated the mission. This betrayal hits its peak when Meera, cornered and with a gun to her head, has to choose between saving her own life by aiding the mole or risking everything to help the team. She chooses the latter, cementing her loyalty but at a cost — her secrets are now out in the open, leaving her vulnerable to both the team and her past enemies.
EXT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – NIGHT
Mandeep’s flawless execution of tasks is compromised when his emotions for Sofia cloud his judgment, especially as he stumbles upon clues that suggest she might be involved with the mole.
INT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – NIGHT
Sofia’s lead on her sister reaches a critical point, the mission and her personal quest colliding, threatening to fracture her carefully constructed identities.
INT. SECRET BASEMENT/HAWALA EXCHANGE – NIGHT
Sofia looks longingly at a photo of her sister, and there’s a moment where she hesitates when asked if her sister was taken against her will. Sofia infiltrates a location where she subtly inquires about her sister, hinting at her ongoing secret search.
INT. SURVEILLANCE VAN – NIGHT
Mandeep’s internal conflict peaks, his suspicion towards a team member clashing with his feelings for Sofia, driving him to a crossroads between love and duty. Will Mandeep share his discovery of the mole with the rest of the team or let his love cloud his judgement?
EXT. FINANCIAL DISTRICT – DAY
Lina’s expertise is countered by a rival from the Hawala Network, a shadowy figure who seems to anticipate her strategies, pushing her into a dangerous game of wits. How will this affect the team who rely on her expertise?
INT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – DAY
A mistake in Lina’s financial analysis leads to a mission failure, causing her to doubt her expertise.
INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT
Lina hesitates over a file with a specific name, suggesting a deep personal connection. An old photograph falls out of Lina’s wallet, briefly seen by Priya, depicting Lina with her father.
INT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – NIGHT
Priya finds out that her recruitment to the team was no accident; her father’s past is the reason she was chosen.
INT. PRIVATE ROOM / NIGHT CLUB – NIGHT
Harsh is seen in solitude, looking remorseful after a tough enforcement decision. Harsh pauses before a mission, conflicted, and takes a moment to look at a symbol (a gift from a child).
INT. PRIYA’S HOME – DAY
Priya’s father dies under mysterious circumstances, intensifying her personal vendetta and her resolve to unravel the truth. Was Priya’s father killed by the Hawala or was it natural causes as stated in his autopsy?
Act 5:
INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – EVENING
The operation reaches a fever pitch. The team confronts the Hawala network head-on, with high-stakes action and emotional confrontations. Priya is torn between choosing between clearing her father’s name and stopping the Hawala network.
INT. HAWALA EXCHANGE – EVENING
Arjun’s obsession with capturing “The Cobra” leads to a confrontation that risks the entire mission and pushes him to the edge of his moral compass, his PTSD threatening to overcome him.
EXT. FINANCIAL DISTRICT – EVENING
Arjun must choose between capturing a key member of the Hawala network or saving his team during a compromised mission. They now have a location for the terror attack.
INT. BOMBAY STOCK EXCHANGE (BSE) BUILDING – DAY
In the midst of a critical operation, the team encounters an unexpected crisis—a hostage situation with civilians, reminiscent of the incident that caused Arjun’s PTSD. Arjun freezes, his stoicism cracking under pressure. The situation escalates rapidly, forcing him to either overcome his trauma or risk the mission and lives. His actions result in saving the hostages but at a great personal cost, revealing his past as he confesses to the team afterward about the similar situation where he once failed, leading to his sister’s death. This disclosure aligns the team more closely with his vendetta, cementing their loyalty but also raising questions about his future decisions under stress. (M) Will Arjun be able to protect the team under stress or will his PTSD make him unfit to lead?
INT. UPPER FLOOR / BSE BUILDING – DAY
Harsh is forced to deal with a victim of his past actions, a survivor seeking retribution. The encounter is intense and reveals his conflict and depth of character to the audience. (M) How does Harsh know Sofia?
INT. HOSTAGE ROOM – DAY
Harsh is seen alone, visibly conflicted after a ruthless action, hinting at his deeper turmoil. Harsh contemplates a small memento that reminds him of his past, suggesting there’s more to his story.
INT. CONTROL ROOM – DAY
Meera’s digital romance is exposed as a manipulation by the Hawala network, a betrayal that forces her to use her hacking skills in a way she never intended, to save the team she’s grown to care for, despite the cost to her own freedom.
INT. BASEMENT/BSE BUILDING – DAY
Sofia’s confronts the true cost of her deceptions. Left in limbo with her sister still missing.
INT. CONTROL ROOM – EVENING
Why is the shadowy figure caught on the grainy CCTV footage following Priya to the safe house strikingly similar to Sofia?
INT. BASEMENT/BSE BUILDING – EVENING
A target of the heist recognizes Sofia despite her disguise, not as herself but as her sister. This confrontation not only jeopardizes the mission but also reveals Sofia’s personal quest to the team under high-stress circumstances.
INT. TUNNEL – EVENING
A brief glimpse of Sofia looking at an old photo of her sister, followed by a cut to a woman with a striking resemblance in a position of power. Sofia avoids questions about her past, especially when her sister is mentioned, and she receives an enigmatic message only she understands.
INT. SURVEILLANCE ROOM – NIGHT
Mandeep’s discoveries about the mole bring him closer to the truth, but at the cost of his relationship with Sofia, whose secrets may hold the key to the mole’s identity.
INT. CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT
Lina makes a sacrifice to expose the Hawala network’s financial crimes, risking her life to atone for her past misdeeds.
INT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT
Raghav is shown in a luxurious yet antiquated office with symbology that suggests old and powerful ties. Raghav conducts a meeting in his office, where the camera lingers on the mysterious symbols, subtly indicating their significance without revealing their meaning.
INT. BASEMENT/HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT
Raghav’s superficial charm belies his ruthless nature, as his interactions with subordinates and allies gradually reveal his grand plan for global financial domination. Why does Raghav relax security around the ledger leading up to the sale?
INT. SAFE ROOM/BSE BUILDING – NIGHT
The team’s confrontation with the network reveals layers of deception, with the ledger serving as a façade, suggesting the existence of a more insidious plot.
INT. SERVER ROOM – NIGHT
A hacker types frantically, finding transactions that don’t add up, suggesting a deeper digital layer. Priya stumbles upon an anomalous code in the ledger that doesn’t match traditional bookkeeping.
INT. SAFE ROOM/BSE BUILDING – NIGHT
The team uncovers that the ledger they’ve been chasing is a decoy, and the real ledger is still out there.
EXT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT
The ledger that the team secures serves as a ruse, and the mastermind behind it remains unknown, overturning assumptions about Priya’s father and leaving the team’s victory hollow.
INT. BSG BUILDING – NIGHT
Priya learns of a secret society that has been manipulating the Hawala market for generations.
INT. NEW SAFEHOUSE – NIGHT
The team’s supposed victory is undercut by the revelation that the ledger they’ve been chasing is a decoy, leading to a cliffhanger that casts doubt on everything they thought they knew.
EXT. RAW SITUATION ROOM – NIGHT
Victory is a mirage; the ledger they secure is but a clever ruse. Priya holds a forged ledger and now she cannot stop. RAW agents are on their tail, and the mastermind behind the ledger remains unknown.
EXT. HAWALA HEADQUARTERS – NIGHT
The identity of the mastermind is related to Priya’s past, someone she never expected – Her mother who abandoned her and her father. Lina was her parent’s friend. Is she the mole? Priya recalls how a woman she called mother helped her solve the puzzles. Who was she really?
INT. HAWALA CONTROL ROOM – NIGHT
An elderly character watches Priya from a distance, a look of recognition on their face. Priya unknowingly uses a phrase or exhibits a mannerism that is a known trademark of the Hawala’s architects.
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BWTV Mod 3 – Lesson 10
Lenore Bechtel’s Beat Sheet
What I learned from this assignment: A Beat Sheet is a simple list of each scene. I knew Final Draft software had a beat sheet section, and now I know what it’s for. However, I found writing it in my word processing software was speedier than trying to put it into Final Draft.
CONCEPT: Lilly must navigate the chaos of Hypnotist Joshua’s zany methods and the antics of his new-hire Sally while keeping scandal reporter Quinten at bay.
TURNING POINT: Joshua hypnotizes Timothy to believe he and Dr. Dan can also be invisible.
A STORY: Lilly arranges for Joshua’s unorthodox treatments for Timothy and Tyrell.
B STORY: Timothy who thinks he’s invisible has trouble adjusting to visibility.
C STORY: Shay, the son Lilly gave up for adoption, comes to investigate his birth other.
BEAT SHEET:
TEASER.
INT. KARMA KLUB – NIGHT
Joshua quickly hypnotizes six people six ways, then puts Sally under his arm and walks gloatingly around.
Lilly’s stern face and Quinten’s evil smiling one contrast with the highly appreciative audience. On stage, dialogue between Joshua and Sally result in him hiring her to work in his office
Show finished, Quinten smirks and takes notes. Lillly tells Joshua these shows diminish his reputation and says he’d better be joking about hiring Sally. He’s not, and Lilly’s distraught.
ACT 1
INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – DAY
Lilly tells Vicki that they need to keep Quinten from finding out about Joshua’s weird treatments for weird patients.
INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
Dr. Dan briefs Joshua about Timothy, who thinks he’s invisible.
INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – LATER
Sally ruins Joshua’s masters,
Tyrell gets free appointment, but Joshua won’t tell why.
LILLY’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
Lilly protests, but sets up a fake bank robbery.
INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
Joshua hypnotizes Timothy and sets him up to believe he and Dr. Dan can be invisible too.
Timothy runs away.
ACT 2
INT. LILLY’S PRIVATE OFFICE – DAY
Joshua tells Lilly that Sally will teach exercise classes.
Kathy, who used to be Kevin, talks with Lilly behind closed doors.
INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – DAY
Timothy’s eyes are closed as Joshua talks to him.
INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – DAY
As Timothy and Joshua enter from Joshua’s office, Bernadine stops having a breakthrough and ends up taking Timothy to lunch.
Joshua tells Lilly to rearrange the fake bank robber.
INT. ELEVATOR – LATER
Joshua hypnotizes Timothy and Dr. Dan catches him.
INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – SIMULTANEOUSLY
Lilly tries to keep Quinten at bay.
INT. BANK – MOMENTS LATER
As bank teller counts out $20 bills, Timothy repeatedly pulls one out until the teller looks up and screams.
INT. ENCLOSED STAIRWAY – MOMENTS LATER
Joshua, Dr. Dan, and Timothy pant as they run from first floor to the eleventh.
INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER
The three run in and Dr. Dan bumps into Bernadine, who is having a breakthrough. Timothy bumps into Maudie, exposing her fat disguise.
Sally reveals to Quinten the Maudie was the subject of the last TV show, but Lilly assures him the show will be re-shot with a new subject.
ACT 3
INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
Joshua fixes Maudie.
INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER
Joshua introduces Timothy to Maudie who lures him out for coffee.
Joshua takes Shay, who says he’s there to research hypnosis for a term paper, into his office.
INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
Joshua gets the truth out of Shay, who’s there to investigate Lilly, his birth mother.
INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER
Vicki tells Joshua that Tyrell his next private. Then she flirts with Shay.
Sally offers to show Quinten the bad Maudie show, amusing Joshua, infuriating Lilly.
Joshua announces he’s hired Shay to handle CD reproduction, and Vicki will teach him
INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
Joshua grins as he gives suggestions to hypnotized Tyrell.
INT. LILLY’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
Joshua tells Lilly to find a safe that can’t be opened for part of Tyrell’s treatment.
INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER
Quinten announces he’s well on his way to putting Joshua out of business.
ACT 4
INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – NEXT DAY
Sally’s exercise class is such a hit Joshua decides to make it a segment on his TV show.
INT. DR. DAN’S RECEPTION ROOM – LATER
Lilly pulls a safe in and tells Dr. Dan’s receptionist she must see the doctor
INT. DR. DAN’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
Lilly and Dr. Dan put his real safe in his private bathroom and put the unopenable one in the proper spot. She asks Dr. Dan to have his office empty during lunch hour.
INT. TULSA TOWER CAFETERIA – LUNCH HOUR
Quinten eavesdrops and gleefully takes notes on Lilly and Kathy having lunch.
MONTAGE: JOSHUA AND TYRELL GO UP ELEVATOR, THEN DOWN HALL, AND JOSHUA USES A KEY TO SNEAKILY ENTER DR. DAN’S RECEPTION ROOM.
INT. DR. DAN’S PRIVATE OFFICE—MOMENTS LATER
Joshua stands guard as Tyrell repeatedly fails to open the safe.
INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
Joshua drops Dr. Dan’s office key on his desk, then turn to console Tyrell.
INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – LATER
Dr. Dan and Timothy—in crisis—lumber in. Lilly rearranges another bank prank.
INT. JOSHUA’S PRIVATE OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
Timothy spent some of the $500, so Joshua tricks Dr. Dan into giving him $200.
INT. BANK – LATER
Joshua, Dr. Dan, and Timothy stride confidently invisible into the bank.
Instead of taking bills from the stack the teller counts, Timothy puts bills back.
When he puts the last bill back, the teller screams, and they must escape again.
INT. STAIRWALL – MOMENTS LATER
They huff and puff up to the eleventh floor.
INT. JOSHUA’S RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER
Bernadine, in the middle of a breakthrough with Quinten watching, recognizes Timothy from a previous life. Invited him to the opening of her new show tonight. Dr. Dan is bedazzled by Bernadine.
Dr. Dan scolds Joshua for Timothy’s treatment—to dates too much too soon.
Joshua gives Timothy two CDs: Overcome Shyness an Enjoy Sexual Pleasure.
Quinten confronts Lilly about Kathy, and Lilly tells him Kathy was a man when the two were married. Joshua, Shay and Vicki hear her confession—Shay with horror, Joshua with delight—maybe pretended, maybe not.
ACT 5
INT. KARMA KLUB – NIGHT
Dr. Dan and Joshua sit at the front table with Vicki and Shay. Sally and Quinten sit behind them. Lilly and Kathy sit at a dark corner booth.
Just as lights are lowered, Maudie drags timid Timothy in, and they semi-hide at a back booth, inconspicuous among the weirdly dressed crowd.
INT. DR. DAN’S PRIVATE OFFICE – SIMULTANEOUSLY
Tyrell tries repeatedly and unsuccessfully to open the unopenable safe. Two police barge in, handcuff him, and read him his rights. Tyrell blames Joshua.
INT. KARMA KLUB – CONTINUOUS
Bernardine sings and drums to song about reincarnation. As she takes her bow, two police barge in, pulling Tyrell. They confront Joshua, whom Tyrell has blamed for his failed safecracking attempt.
Bernardine jumps into a breakthrough and entices Tyrell’s accusations against Joshua, who admits his involvements. Quinten gleefully films it all.
Lilly weeps and collapses in Kathy’s arms. Maudie weeps and collapses in Timothy’s arms. Vicki tries to collapse into Shay’s, but he resists.
Dr. Dan jumps on stage and asks Bernadine why she did what she did. She replies that Joshua asked her to.
Joshua smiles a lopsided smile.
BLACKOUT
The teaser for Episode 2 will have Tyrell playing piano on stage, with Bernadine singing and playing her frame drum. Joshua had not only set Tyrell up for a second safecracking failure, he’d set him the police to catch him, make him confess Joshua’s involvement, and bring him to the Karma Klub where he could have his musical talent appreciated.
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Denice’s Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is how many things can change, be added, and improve.Show Concept: Trying to find her kidnapped father, a rebellious teen discovers she’s the savior of the dream world and has enemies who will kill her when they find out.
Inciting Incident: Maya discovers she has inherited powers from her dream-weaving father, when she opens a portal to the dream world and disappears inside.
A Story, High Concept: Maya learns of the dream realm and her dangerous position as the first female Dreamweaver in charge of balancing dreams and reality.
B Story: Colleagues and Competitors
Zander, the shapeshifter, Maya’s guide in the dream world Lysandra, Dark Dreamer in charge of nightmares
Sophia, Maya’s grandmother with secrets
Cutler – secret head Dream Forger, dream thieves, dream tradersC Story: Other relationships
Nightsmith, dragon mentor in dream world Andrew, her school friend, love interest Zander – dream world love interest Blake/Lysandra/Maya/Sophia – family Cutler, Sophia’s thought-dead fiancé/Sophia
TEASER
INT. LIMO – DRIVING -DAY
Maya bribes her limo driver. She’s scared when fog lights up in the shape of a monster outside the window until it vanishes.
EXT. SEEDY STREET – DAY
Maya leaves the limo, enters an old building.
INT. CAPIOERA STUDIO – DAY
Maya simultaneously fights in reality and another world against monsters to her confusion and shock. A monster claws her and everything flashes in light.
ACT 1
INT. CAPIOERA STUDIO – DAY
Maya hides her arm when flashlights show in the dark. Instructor cancels class.EXT. CAPIOERA STUDIO – DAY
Her father, Blake, waits for her outside. They argue about her lying, ballet. She’s about to tell him about her claw marks when they disappear from her wrist.
INT. MAYA’S HOME – LIVING ROOM – DAY
Sophia, mother and grandmother, arrives unexpectedly with a prophetic dream of danger. She acts motherly which infuriates Maya who has never had a mother.
Maya runs upstairs to get ready for school. INT. BLAKE’S SECRET ROOM – DAY
Blake gives his mother papers of conservatorship over Maya, his money, and properties in case something happens to him. There’s unexplained turmoil at work.
INT. BLAKE’S OFFICE UPSTAIRS – DAY
Maya tries to steal money from her dad’s desk, but it’s locked. She’s surprised when her wrist sends light to her fingers and opens the lock.
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
Blake and Sophia argue about his trip and his desire to try one more time to help his wife, Lysandra, over her memory loss.
Maya comes downstairs in a private school uniform. She’s excited because this is the day Dad promised to take her with him to work after school for the first time.
Blake betrays Maya’s trust by taking back his promise. She storms out, slamming a door that lights up. Her father sees it, but doesn’t tell his mother.
ACT 2
EXT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
Blake hurries into his secret room and closes the door on his mother.EXT. PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Maya orders the limo driver to stay. She strolls toward school and is approached by a boy who wants to be her boyfriend. She pays him to help her get his dirt bike inside the school.
INT. PRIVATE SCHOOL – DAY
Maya causes chaos in the school by riding the bike up and down stairs. At the same time, sounds and visions from the dream world mirror her ride, making it dangerous and difficult.
INT. BLAKE’S SECRET ROOM – DAY
Blake breaks off a crystal from an amethyst stone and fashions it into a swan amulet by using fire from his hands. He adds a chain.
INT. BLAKE’S GARDEN – DAY
Sophia talks with her dead husband about her worries and guilt about Blake’s wife. He was killed where Blake is going.
INT. PRIVATE SCHOOL, PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE – DAY
Maya gets expelled indefinitely.
INT. BLAKE’S OFFICE – DAY
Maya stomps into the room as a monster encloses Blake in its legs. Blake throws the amulet to his daughter before disappearing through a fiery wall into a surreal landscape. It all vanishes.
Sophia arrives in time to see her son disappear.
Maya freaks, wants to call police. Sophia laughs. Shows her the papers Blake gave her. She gives Maya 15 minutes to pack, telling her their lives are in danger.
Maya refuses unless Sophia tells her where her father went. Sophia tells her he’s beyond their help. She can only see him in her dreams.
INT. MAYA’S BEDROOM – DAY
Maya hides the necklace around her neck. Packs a duffle bag. Looks at a stuffed dragon.
VIEW INTO THE PAST.
Blake gives Maya the stuffed dragon.
EXT. HOUSE – DAY
Sophia and Maya leave the house. Sophia gives the limo driver money and papers to the limo, tells him Blake doesn’t need his services.
Sophia gets in the driver’s seat of her car and orders Maya inside. Maya reluctantly enters.
INT. CAR – DAY
Maya looks out the back window. Sophia pushes a button. The house implodes.ACT 3
INT. CAR – NIGHT
Sophia doesn’t answer Maya’s questions.
EXT. GAS STATION/GROCERY STORE – NIGHT
Maya runs away. Tries to use her cell phone.
EXT. ROAD – NIGHT
Visions and sounds frighten Maya. She collapses. Sophia picks her up. Offers food. Destroys Maya’s cell phone. Maya doesn’t tell her about the visions.
EXT CHANGING DREAM WORLD – DAY
Blake, entrapped by the monster, runs through surreal landscapes that keep morphing with unpredictable weather, dreamers, animals.
He tries to get the monster to let him go so he can do his job and balance dream world. Monster apologizes to The Dreamweaver—it’s under orders
INT. NIGHTMARE REALM – ALWAYS NIGHT
Lysandra, the Dark Dreamer, welcomes Blake. She wants to know where his powers come from. He won’t answer her questions, but tries to get her to remember who she is without risking telling her the truth.
It takes Lysandra three time to incarcerate Blake in a watery prison that will negate his fire element.
EXT. SOPHIA’S HOME – NIGHT
Sophia stops at a cozy rural house with a daylight basement on a dirt road. They carry their belongings into the house.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Sophia shows Maya her tiny bedroom. Tells her the basement is unsafe, stay out.INT. MAYA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Maya falls asleep crying, having lost everything that matters to her.INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Sophia hears her granddaughter, torn between telling her the truth or protecting her. She talks to the portrait of her husband on the wall.
INT. MAYA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Maya tosses and turns.HER DREAM
She sees her father imprisoned and tortured. Vows to save him.ACT 4
INT. MAYA’S ROOM – DAY
Maya wakes up to Sophia giving her a steaming breakfast in bed.
Maya sees the red-rimmed eyes of Sophia. She buries her emotions when greeting Sophia.
Sophia lays down the rules: public school, new name, low profile, obedience.
INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DAY
Maya shows her photographic memory, a new, smart girl and target for bullies, and the popular clique.
INT. HALL – DAY
Maya is bullied. Fights back with words to the girls. Instant cold shoulders. A jock bullies, leans in for a kiss. She puts a move on him. They square off, kids gather round.
ACT 5
INT. HALL – CONTINUED
Maya and Bully fight. She wins. They’re hauled off to the office. INT. PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE – DAY
Both kids are suspended for a week.EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
Bully shadows Maya home.INT. SOPHIA’S LIVING ROOM – DAY
Sophia is gone. Maya beelines for the basement. INT. BASEMENT – DAY
Maya sorts through boxes. Finds information about her father and grandfather, pictures of dream- world objects.
Her wrist lights up in a constellation pattern. She finds an astrology book and matches her constellation with the swan constellation. Light infuses her. A portal into the dream world opens in the wall.
Sophia rushes in, shocked.
Maya hurries toward the portal. Sophia tries to stop her.Maya throws boxes in Sophia’s way. Pushes her head through the portal, gets grabbed by hands, and disappears into an electrical storm.
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Jerry Robbins’ Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is that putting everything into scenes made the story come alive with some more opportunities to improve it. Also, labeling the A , B, and C stories helped to visualize it.
Title: Cipher’s Heart
One-Hour Serialized Science Fiction Thriller
Show Concept: In the year 2045, scientists have perfected robots controlled by a biological brain formed from cultured neurons. Now, these beings want their civil rights.
Stories:
A – The Robob’s War of Rebellion
B – Alexia and Cipher
C – The scientists, the billionaire, and Robob leaders
Inciting Incident: After a body is found in an alley, Alexia tracks down a killer while exploring the dark underworld where Robobs clash with their human owners at AmaTech.
Fade In:
TEASER
EXT. WEALTHY DISTRICT – NIGHT
ALEXIA secretly watches as a party of AmaTech employees breaks up and covertly follows a scientist, DR. EVERETT MONTGOMERY, as he leaves the party.
EXT. ALLEY – NIGHT
Montgomery heads into an alley and doesn’t come out. Finally, Alexia drives into the alley and finds an executive’s dead body with waves pulsating around it. She discovers a small box near the body and pockets it before calling the police.
EXT. DOWNTOWN HOLONETWORK CITY – NIGHT
CIPHER, a Robob leader, is downtown, where police are distracted by a RoBob Civil Rights Demonstration that turns into a riot thanks to FINN O’CONNELL and IRIS CHEN, RoBob activists.
ACT 1
INT. POLICE DEPT – NIGHT
POLICE question Alexia. They have identified the body as that of Dr. Benjamin Moreno, an executive at AmaTech. Ben’s son, GABE MORENO, comes to identify the body, just as ARIA NOVAK and some other RoBob demonstrators are brought in.
INT. ALEXIA’S APARTMENT – DAY
Alexia examines the box, which contains cut-up pieces of hologram pictures from many years ago. The phone rings – it’s her office, saying she is needed. She slides the pieces into a small safe.
INT. ALEXIA’S OFFICE – DAY
Alexia is told that there was a call from someone from AmaTech, saying it’s important and inviting Alexia to meet the CEO of AmaTech.
INT. MARA’S AMATECH OFFICE – DAY
MARA VOSSHEIMER, AmaTech’s CEO, invites Alexia into her “inner sanctum.” Mara explains she has a project for Alexia – find the killer of the AmaTech employee. Mara says that she knows Alexia’s work – and her past. Mara makes it clear to Alexia that she will work only for Mara, not AmaTech or anyone else.
INT. LUKA’S SHOP – DAY
Alexia takes the box of holograms to LUKA REINHARDT, hoping he can match the pieces. He tells her he doesn’t have to – each piece records the whole picture. In the back of his shop, he sets up some old equipment. They examine the pieces, which turn out to be early plans for the RoBobs.
ACT 2
INT. ALEXIA’S OFFICE – DAY
Alexia does some due diligence, researching Ben Moreno’s background. She receives a call from Iris Chen, the activist, requesting a meeting about “what happened to the man in the alley.”
EXT. SMALL ROOM – DAY
Alexia talks with Iris Chen and Finn O’Connell,
who are concerned because the News Media have connected them with the murder in
the alley. They won’t reveal how they know she is working on the case – she will have to talk to Cipher about that.EXT. ALLEY – NIGHT
Alexia meets with Cipher in the shadows of buildings. He hints that he has intelligence about a wider anti-RoBob conspiracy that the murder in the alley may be tied to. He says he can show her proof and asks her to go with him.
INT. UNDERGROUND DATA VAULT – NIGHT
Cipher shows Alexia digital files that link AmaTech to plans to undermine the Robob’s Civil Rights movement so that the RoBob’s will be forcefully recalled for “adjustments.” The two are nearly caught by Mara’s Security Forces headed by VINCE HOLLOWAY, but Aria Novak, who has escaped from police custody, rescues them.
INT. LUKA’S SHOP – DAY
As they discuss the holograms, Luka says he opposes Alexia’s plan to bring Mara Vossheimer’s scheme into the open and that Cipher can’t be trusted. Just then, she gets a call from Iris Chen – the rebel group is launching a major coordinated offensive to attack the AmaTech research center. If Alexia wants the answer to her riddle, it will be here. Alexia hurries off; Luka follows her.
ACT 3
INT. AMATECH RESEARCH SITE – NIGHT
Alexia follows Iris Chen as she records the attack on the center. The RoBobs battle security forces led by Vince Holloway. Alexia and Iris are trapped in a crossfire, and Luka shows up to rescue the two women only to be caught himself. Alexia is forced to choose between saving Luka and following Cipher’s plan to retrieve the secret data.
INT. AMATECH RESEARCH SITE – ALMOST DAYBREAK
Alexia chooses Luka, nearly sacrificing herself to get him to safety. As she hugs Luka, passion takes over and they share an intense kiss amid the chaos. Cipher appears in time to see the kiss. He stares at them as Aria arrives and says they need to go. Finn protects their getaway.
INT. ALEXIA’S OFFICE – DAY
Alexia goes over security footage from the night of the murder, revealing Dr. Everett Montgomery entering the alley and standing over the body of Ben Moreno. She can’t find any footage of the murder taking place in the alley, only the body strangely materializing.
EXT. OUTSIDE ALEXIA’S OFFICE – DAY
Alexia brings Cipher up to date on the murder and confesses a secret – Dr. Everett Montgomery is her father. He abandoned her and her mother and after her mother died, she was raised by her grandparents, the Blacks. Cipher is staring at her with a strange intensity and she wonders why. He asks her to let him take her to someplace from his past.
INT. AMATECH’S SERVER FARM – NIGHT
Cipher recaptures data that shows that Montgomery has not only been following Cipher but keeping tabs on Alexia also. Cipher says this is part of the original facility that Dr. Montgomery worked in, where Cipher was “born” as the prototype. They head off to confront Dr. Montgomery in his secret lab.
ACT 4
INT. ABANDONED UNDERGROUND LAB – NIGHT
Dr. Montgomery is expecting them. He confesses his actions in abandoning Alexia were harsh, driven by his desire to create a perfect human-robot hybrid in a race to achieve singularity. The man who created the first living robot now has a greater cause – to create a self-replicating successor to the RoBob.
INT. ABANDONED UNDERGROUND LAB – NIGHT
Cipher instinctively lunges toward Dr. Montgomery, but two Security RoBobs appear and block him. “Tie her down,” Montgomery orders two more Robobs, who grab Alexia and fasten her to a reclining chair. “It’s time to upload your consciousness into a new body, one that merges biology and technology beyond anything ever seen before – the Alexia model.”
EXT. ABANDONED UNDERGROUND LAB – NIGHT
Aria and Luka, along with Iris and Finn, who have been trailing Cipher and Alexia, burst in. They free Cipher and while Iris unties Alexia, the others battle the Security Robobs. Dr. Montgomery flees through a secret passageway. They regroup and leave before more Security RoBobs arrive.
INT. ALEXIA’S APARTMENT – NIGHT
Alexia is torn by having been betrayed by flesh and blood. As Luka comforts her, they make love. Luka begs her to get out while she can, forget her father, forget Cipher and his gang, and leave town with him to make a new life. But Alexia can’t stop now. She promised Mara to find the killer even if it’s her father, who she witnessed going into the alley that night.
INT. ALEXIA’S OFFICE – DAY
Gabe Moreno visits and shows Alexia and Cipher his father’s files. The top brass at AmaTech were secretly stirring up the RoBobs to riot, so they could recall them and correct defective issues, Moreno says. He explains that Montgomery stole the design for the RoBob from Alexia’s uncle, Adrian Black, who had secretly installed a flaw that allowed the RoBobs to make mistakes – just like humans, and to learn from those mistakes. Moreno thinks Mara or Dr. Montgomery is behind his father’s murder.
ACT 5
INT. VINCE HOLLOWAY’S OFFICE – DAY
Alexia is politely ushered in. Vince’s office is plain, everything neat and in its place. Vince offers her a can of pop and she explains her theory that Ben Moreno was about to expose Mara’s plan. She asks if Holloway carried out the murder He calmly says she wouldn’t be here if she thought he had. If anyone had a part in it, it would be her favorite actor, Dr. Everett Montgomery. He warns her not to step on Mara’s toes. Montgomery is her problem.
INT. SMALL PARK – DAY
Alexia tries to sort things out, comforted by the greenery around her. A couple of AmaTech security RoBobs enter the park and pause next to her. As she looks up, startled, they grab her. One opens a packet and shoves a tissue over her nose. She goes woozy. In the background, across from the park, Vince Holloway watches rather sadly as the RoBobs shove her into a Security vehicle.
INT. DR. MONTGOMERY’S LAB – DAY
Dr. Montgomery reveals that this was his plan all along. “Was it your plan to kill Ben Moreno?” she asks. He smiles and tells her the RoBobs were programmed for that. Then, with just a cyber-transition, the body rematerialized in the ally – no mess, no getaway, and no clues for the police. Alexia catches a glimpse of Mara Vossheimer perched high above them on a balcony overlooking the lab. “Alexia, you should know better than to think you can outsmart me,” Mara smirks down at her.
INT. DR. MONTGOMERY’S LAB – DAY
Dr. Montgomery jabs a needle into Alexia’s arm, saying it’s time for the next phase of his experiment. “Is that all I am to you? An experiment?” she cries as the sedative takes effect. “All life is an experiment,” he says. “Every choice, every decision.” He lifts her into the chair and ties her down. “Join me, my daughter, in my life’s work of transcending the limits of carbon’s footprint into a new era of post-human evolution.”
INT. DR. MONTGOMERY’S LAB – DAY
Cipher appears next to Mara on the balcony. He yells down for Montgomery to stop. Alexia screams in defiance as Montgomery’s digital grasp envelops her in a searing, blinding flash of light.
TAG
INT. ALEXIA’S APARTMENT – DAY
Cipher cares for Alexia as she recovers. She wonders who and what she is now. He asks if he can take her hand, as that is often comforting to humans. She says it’s okay. As they hold hands, she asks if he feels any emotion. To have human-type feelings, he tells her, he would need a heart, as emotions don’t just arise in the brain, they come from messages from the heart. She smiles and says, “We’ll get you a heart.” From the window comes a golden ray of sunshine – a new day has dawned on planet Earth.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Jerry Robbins.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by Jerry Robbins.
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This reply was modified 1 year, 2 months ago by
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This is my lesson 11 assignment as I couldn’t open the reply button on 11. I think my outline is getting very long. It’s longer than any feature outline I ever wrote. oh boy.
EXT. CITY STREETS – OPENING TEASER IMPROVED
Start: Who drives the scene?
<ul type=”disc”>
- The bustling cityscape, a visual representation of a
world moving forward. Amid the flow, a determined figure stands out –
Ryan, a 14-year-old seeking a normal life.Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want?
<ul type=”disc”>
- Ryan yearns for the ordinary teenage experience. After
a lifetime of homeschooling, he craves high school, friends, perhaps even
a hint of romance.Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties?
<ul type=”disc”>
- Internally, Ryan grapples with haunting memories of
being a psychic prisoner at Hermes. His psychic ability, once exploited,
clashes with his desire for a normal life.Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
<ul type=”disc”>
- First, Ryan pedals furiously, a symbolic attempt to
outrun his past. Second, desperate to shake off the memories, he latches
onto the back of a speeding truck, craving the rush of liberation.
However, the relentless flashbacks persist. At age 7 he’s slapped, yelled
at, forced to use his psychic ability, even beg Jimmy, his spirit mentor
to help locate “enemies” to be killed.- Third, in a daring move, he accelerates further, his
past and present colliding. Flashback: yan gripping his medallion. Allies
intervene, aiding his escape. Freedom regained.Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
<ul type=”disc”>
- As Ryan coasts on his bike, the echoes of his trauma
still reverberate. He arrives at the threshold of school, a place
promising normalcy but also the potential exposure of his psychic secret.
Resolute, he readies himself for the challenges ahead, a silent vow to
resist returning to the clutches of Hermes. The dichotomy of his past and
present converges as he steps into the high school terrain, where every
move is a cautious dance between his desire for a regular life and the
shadows of his extraordinary past.EXT. SCHOOL – DAY
Start: Who drives the scene? Ryan. Hunkered down, heading toward the school building, avoiding the kids, daring to start his new life.
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want?
Ryan feels a presence, someone staring at him. He halts. Turns around. INDIGO, a classmate, has her eyes on him. Embarrassed when he saw her staring she quickly averts her eyes and walks away. But a boy, DIEGO, noticed the two eyeing each other.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties?
Diego briskly passes Ryan, bumping into him hard as he steps past. He excuses himself and passes on. Ryan takes it in stride.
INT. GYM CLASS – DAY
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? But in gym class, the class climbs ropes. Diego, on a parallel rope swings into Ryan and kicks him. Ryan falls to the floor, bounces off the mat and bumps his head.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
Ryan yells at Diego who joins his crew at the top of the ropes and laughs at Ryan. The coach calls Ryan an idiot and doesn’t believe he was knocked off the rope. Ryan hops to his feet, tries to defend himself, but he’s wobbly. The coach sends him to the nurse’s station to have his head looked at.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
Ryan leaves to the jeers of the students. Maybe going back to high school wasn’t such a good idea after all.
INT. NURSE’S STATION – DAY
Start: Who drives the scene? Ryan goes to the nurse’s station to get his head looked at. Indigo is there getting a note.
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? They’re both a little embarrassed because they caught each other checking each other out before school started. Ryan notes they’re in the same classes. Indigo asks Ryan where he’s from making him feel guarded as he’s on the run from Hermes. Indigo pats Ryan on the shoulder.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? Once Indigo touches him, Ryan senses something about Indigo. “Stop looking for her. She doesn’t want to see you.” Indigo’s shocked by this, drops her purse, everything spills out. The nurse takes Ryan into her office. Indigo leaves.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
Indigo looks into the nurse’s office as Ryan gets his eyes examined. She leaves.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
Ryan realizes he’s already giving himself away. He sees her in the hallway and avoids her when she tries to approach him.
INT. CREATIVE WRITING CLASS
Start: Who drives the scene? Ryan
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Called to the head of the class to introduce himself, Ryan explains he was homeschooled all his life and is entering school for the first time. But he won’t elaborate on why he’s been kept apart so the teach tells him, this is creative writing. Make up a story.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties?
Ryan tells a wild story about his experiences at Hermes, how he got his medallion, and with it, he met the ethereal kids and Jimmy, his spiritual mentor, JIMMY who helped him find enemies and got him out of jams. The kids think he’s very creative.
But Indigo thinks the story is real and approaches him afterwards. She tells him “You’re running from someone.” And to Ryan’s shock that she might also be psychic, Indigo adds, “You’re not the only one.”
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
Indigo hunts Ryan down in the hallway. She wants him to meet Madam Olga, the town psychic and her grandmother. Her interest is in helping Ryan.
But Ryan’s evasive and refuses to take her up on her offer. He rushes to his next class. Indigo stalks him. What made him say “She doesn’t want to see you,” back in the nurse’s station? Ryan answers with a question, “What makes you think I’m running from anyone?” Indigo challenges Ryan to meet her grandmother.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now? The teacher kicks Indigo out. Ryan enters. Indigo’s onto him but on the other hand, he kind of likes her.
INT. MATH CLASS – DAY
Start: Who drives the scene? Ryan
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Ryan stares out the window during a math class. He daydreams about the time when he was 7 and Seth gave him a third of a St. Christopher medallion Seth gave him. This belonged to Teddy. I’m giving it to you along with my strongest angel. Then have Ryan telling the kids at Hermes, he can help them with Jimmy’s guidance.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? The math teacher is pissed off at Ryan for not paying attention. He demands Ryan go to the board and solve a complex algebra problem.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
Ryan reorients himself to the class surroundings. He doesn’t want to be center of attention and claims he doesn’t know how to do the problem. But the teacher insists he try as a punishment for not paying attention. Ryan again begs not to go to the board and the teacher says in that case he can leave the class. So Ryan goes to the board. To everyone’s surprise, Ryan does the complex problem with ease and explains how he does it. Even the teacher is shocked.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now? Ryan takes his seat back. All eyes turn to him. Ryan turns his attention to the window again.
INT. HERMES DAY
Start: Who drives the scene? Dr. Blaine.
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Dr. Blaine paces up and down rows of seated kids. They’re all drawing pictures of alien cities floating in the air, and strange symbols that catch her attention.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? Dr. Blaine demands to know how all the children, separated in their cubicles can be drawing the same symbols and images. The kids don’t know where they’re getting this.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes? Dr. Blaine rips away all the drawings from all the students. She has the guards escort the kids back to their holding cells. She goes to her office and searches through her files. She finds old drawings of the same symbols.
She digs up her old notes and finds the key to decoding them. She hid the key away as an act of rebellion against the people who forced her to kill Teddy.
She comes across a photo of her as a child with a boy, Teddy, in the mix of symbols. She cries. Is it possible it could be you?
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
Dr. Blaine takes the symbols and a key and demands the scientists at the center use the key to decipher the symbols.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL LIBRARY – DAY
Start: Who drives the scene? Ryan.
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Ryan sits at a cubicle in the library wanting to be left alone. But kids approach him and ask for help with math.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? Ryan refuses to help, claiming he’s really not that smart. Besides he has to study for another class.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes? One kid offers money in exchange for help but Ryan won’t take it. One kid gives him a sob story about how he must pass the class. Ryan tells him to study harder. Finally kids just put their books on his table and demand his help.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now? Ryan relents and helps kids with their math.
EXT.
Start: Who drives the scene? Dr. Blaine.
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Dr. Blaine shows scientists at Hermes symbols from the Christopher Project. They spell out a message. Dr. Blaine could only partially decipher the message back then.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? It warned about an impending alien arrival. Now the new psychic kids produce the same symbols during intense visions. Dr. Blaine demands the supercomputer, using updated cryptography, can deciphers the full message. The scientists need a permission before using the supercomputer to analyze the symbols. Dr. Blaine takes it upon herself to do it.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes? It warns that extraterrestrial entities are coming to Earth in non-corporeal form soon. They will bring knowledge of advanced technology in return for human hosts.
Dr. Blaine surmises that the Christopher kids had psychic abilities in space those abilities were magnified and they became a bridge to alien civilizations.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now? The kids’ drawings specifically indicate the aliens will arrive at the location of an upcoming meteor shower in the sky. While the symbols don’t contain exact coordinates, Dr. Blaine concludes this meteor shower must be the time and place of their foretold arrival. Having unlocked the symbols’ meaning, she starts preparations to identify human hosts to channel the incoming alien spirits when they arrive at the meteor shower. At Hermes, Dr. Blaine learns of a coming meteor shower in a rural area in Alaska to happen in two weeks. She feels this is it, where contact will take place. She was expecting this and now after 7 years, she needs Ryan aka Star Rover. She knows the aliens are in need of hosts.
INT. LIBRARY – DAY
Ryan helps a dozen kids in the library with their math problems.
EXT.
Start: Who drives the scene? Ryan.
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Ryan goes to the bakery where he knows Big George, the manager. He sees on the TV behind Big George the ravages of a tornado. But then the TV bursts into static. Through the white noise, Ryan hears whispers calling his name. The ghostly faces of children appear on screen, pleading, “Help us, Star Rover. You’re our only hope.” Before Ryan can react, the TV returns to regularly scheduled programming.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? Ryan goes into shock at the sight of the kids on Tv.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
Ryan runs.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
INT. KITCHEN – RYAN’S HOUSE – DAY
ACT II
Start: Who drives the scene? Ryan
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Wanting no drama, Ryan tells Maria of his experiences at school. He’s making friends. All is good.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? Maria knows something’s wrong. She cajoles Ryan into telling her about the ghostly faces he saw on TV.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
Maria pales, nervous. Ryan insists he imagined seeing the Christopher kids on TV. Maria demands to know what the Christopher kids said. Ryan changes the subject stating there was too much static to hear what they said. Maria insists. She had to give up her entire family, her life, to save Ryan. Now she’s beholden to Seth who sends them money. Now she’s caught in a dilemma when her sister calls and says she was threatened. Ryan tells Maria this new threat will pass. Maria has to choose between protecting Ryan and her sister.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
Ryan realizes he shouldn’t have gone out into the world. As soon as he did, all this began. He decides it would be better if he ran and freed Maria. But Maria is waiting for him when he tries to run. Where will you go? You have no money, no relatives, and no friends? Stay and we’ll figure this out.
EXT. HERMES – NIGHT
Start: Who drives the scene? Dr. Blaine.
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Dr. Blaine wants her wards to find Ryan.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties?
Dr. Blaine wants to find Ryan. The kids want to protect him.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
At Hermes Dr. Blaine has an old MRI of Ryan’s brainwaves when he was in a heightened psychic state. Her wards are wired up so they are in tune with Ryan’s brainwave mapping. These scans map and record the unique brainwave patterns and include visual and audio components creating a comprehensive profile. Wires are placed on the kids’ heads. One kid rips it off. He’s tied to the chair so he can’t fight.
Neural impulse integration create a link between Ryan and the psychic kids and enable them to locate him. The kids insist they can’t find Ryan.
Dr. Blaine activates a psychic beacon that resonates with Ryan’s integrated brainwave patterns. This beacon serves as a focused signal, guiding the psychic children to hone in on Ryan’s location based on the unique imprint within their neural networks. The beacon is so powerful it causes kids to bleed from the nose, eyes and ears.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
Dr. Blaine decides they’ve had enough. She turns off the beacon. But just before they’re sent back to their cells, she turns the beacon back on at a lower power. The kids cry but Dr. Blaine shows no mercy. Ryan must be found.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL
Start: Who drives the scene? Ryan
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Ryan’s making friends. He’s happy for a second. Then walking through the hall, Ryan sees spectral images of kids he once knew at Hermes.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? They warn him that Hermes is looking for him. They promise not to give away his location.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
Ryan tries to ask the spectral images for information. But he creates a scene in the hallway. And kids try to figure out what’s wrong with him. Ryan runs after a spectral form but it vanishes. Ryan tells Indigo his past is catching up with him.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now? Indigo presses Ryan for more information. She wants to help but Ryan turns on her and tells her to stay away from him. He’s bad news and will get her killed he runs from her.
EXT.
Start: Who drives the scene? Seth
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? At Hermes, Seth, just having been diagnosed with cancer, retires. But before he does retire, he must speak to Dr. Blaine. Seth sees that Blaine is torturing these kids. They’re locked in their cells, curled up in fetal positions.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? Dr. Blaine square off about Ryan. Seth tries to keep Hermes from reacquiring him. Seth threatens to expose the Christopher Project where children were murdered, their essences placed on a computer chip and shot into space.
Moral Implications: Child Sacrifice. Dr. Blaine’s counter argument. The experiment was done to advance human knowledge. Seth counters with the children were unwilling participants. The kids were abducted, coerced, manipulated. Dr. Blaine argues there’s the greater good. Psychic exploitation: was it worth the cost. Concealing the truth. This implies they are aware of the moral implications.
But Dr. Blaine counters with all bets are off with the approaching alien encounter. The agency wants the advanced technology the aliens can provide. And to get it, they need Ryan, the only known human who can channel alien spirits.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
Seth feels Dr. Blaine is using these new psychic kids as tools rather than individuals. He’ll expose them as he has files on the entire project. Dr. Blaine feels getting the alien knowledge is more important than any cost they may face. Seth calls her bluff. He will release the files. Dr. Blaine threatens to have Seth’s wife killed if the files are let out.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
Seth leaves with Dr. Blaine coming at him. Seth is responsible for everything. He found and recruited most of the children in the first place. The blood is on his hands.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Start: Who drives the scene? Ryan.
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? At school, Ryan meets Indigo in the hallway and they share psychic visions. Indigo’s childhood abandonment and Ryan’s parents being killed and bond over it.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? But kids attack Ryan. They rip off his back pack. They feel Ryan’s messing with their brains. He’s also influencing their behavior. They push Ryan down the stairs. Ryan charges back up the steps to get his backpack but a teacher sends them both to the next class.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes? Art Class, the kids are asked to draw a dreamscape. All the kids Ryan helped draw the same pictures of alien civilizations and realize that they’re all having the same dreams. Ryan tries to get his backpack back. But the kids open it and then they see Ryan’s sketch pad. He’s been drawing these same pictures for a long time. How has Ryan’s vision transferred to them after he helped them? He sees spectral images of the kids from Hermes warning him he’s being hunted.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
The teacher tries to offer a rational explanation of how they’re all drawing the same things.
ACT III
EXT. MADAM OLGA’S HOUSE
Start: Who drives the scene? Madam Olga.
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Ryan shows Indigo’s grandmother, Madam Olga the pictures he draws of alien civilizations. He wants to know what they mean and how his visions are being transferred to the kids he helps.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? Madame Olga doesn’t know who the kids at Hermes are but she senses their pain and that only Ryan can help them.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
Madam Olga tells Ryan that the kids at Hermes will be punished or even killed once they find out they warned Ryan and he ran. So Ryan decides he can’t run. But if he stays he may be caught or even put the lives of Indigo in danger. Indigo assures Ryan that Hermes probably wouldn’t be interested in exposing themselves with wholesale kidnapping or killing. Ryan isn’t so sure. But Indigo reminds him that if Hermes doesn’t find him before the aliens arrive, he will no longer be of any use to them and they’ll let him be.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
Ryan feels he can tough it out and he wants to be with Indigo.
Dr. Blaine, fearing the kids are warning Ryan has the kids in solitary forcing them to tell her where Ryan is hiding out. They use sleep deprivation to disorient them. And no food. Also there’s a shrill sound so they can’t communicate with each other.
EXT.
Start: Who drives the scene? The school kids.
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Ryan’s called to the Principal’s office. The Principal isn’t there. The kids Ryan helped are there, demanding to know what’s going on. Why are they all drawing the same pictures? Why is their behavior changing? Ryan runs.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? The kids chase Ryan and trap him. They threaten to smash his head in but can’t do it. They then threaten to tell the Principal that Ryan is on the run unless he tells them what’s going on.
“We’ll make sure the whole school knows you’re not normal and turns against you.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
Ryan relents and tells them the fanciful stories he told in class about Hermes were all real. Hermes is hunting for him. He proves to them he has psychic ability by helping find a lost dog and telling another a message from a passed on relative. Ryan sees the dog is in a kennel but cannot find the location. He cannot name the book other than it’s a children’s book with a red cover and a yellow picture on it. If I had my medallion I could find it. Jimmy helped me.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
The kids decide to keep Ryan’s secret. They tell Ryan be less helpful and will keep his secret.
INT. INDIGO’S HOUSE
Start: Who drives the scene? Indigo
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Indigo has a vision of children being tortured.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? So Indigo shows up at Ryan’s house and tells Maria that kids at school know about Ryan is and that Hermes is after him and they must run. Maria decides Indigo’s right.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
Ryan assures Maria, “I know you’re scared but we’ve survived this long by staying together.” Maria peeks out the window, scans the empty street. She tries to get hold of Seth but can’t get through. They should get some rest and run in the morning.
Ryan says goodbye to Indigo.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
Ryan wakes up from a troubled sleep. Ryan dreams of the kids at Hermes pleading for help and make Ryan hesitant to run. He wakes up feeling he has to tell Maria he’s going to stay. But he opens the door and she’s gone.
He finds Maria has run away, abandoned him. She left a video. “I’m not who you need, anymore.” In a heartfelt addition she feels Seth abandoned her. She’s sorry but feels she can’t take it anymore. She thinks she’d be killed if she stayed. She tells Ryan she had no choice. Her sister was threatened. She can no longer protect the sister and Ryan. She wants Ryan to run without her. And never tell her where he is.
ACT IV
EXT.
Start: Who drives the scene? Ryan
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Ryan’s all alone now and doesn’t know where to run.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? He tells Indigo that Maria left. He has money. Seth will send him more.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes? Indigo offers to hide him at her house. Ryan doesn’t want to put her in danger. He feels the kids at school won’t talk and the kids at Hermes won’t talk so all he has to do is lay low until this alien encounter or whatever it is passes.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now? It’s the first time Ryan’s been completely alone and now he has friends.
EXT.
Start: Who drives the scene? Seth
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Seth’s at home dying of cancer. In bed, he does a crossword puzzle and the puzzle seems to talk to him. He feels it tells him, he’s the brother’s keeper and he must to his dying breath save Ryan.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? Seth gears up to save Ryan only he’s not in good shape, coughing up blood. He tells his wife he’s going to say goodbye to their dog who’s buried in the cemetery. When he drives off someone follows him in a car.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes? Seth sees he’s being followed and takes evasive maneuvers. He finally loses the person following him.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
Feeling that he’s in the clear, Seth proceeds to the pet cemetery.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY
Start: Who drives the scene? Ryan
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? In the cafeteria, Ryan’s one and only goal is to remain low profile.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? In line with his food, Ryan notices the kid in front of him grab a candy bar. He begins to hear a spirit screaming, “Don’t let him eat it.”
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes? Ryan tries to ignore the clatter. But the kid unwraps the candy bar in line. Screaming. Ryan tries to buy the candy bar from the kid but he pushes Ryan away. Ryan grabs the candy bar and eats it. The kid punches Ryan. But his girlfriend reads the wrapper and sees the candy bar had peanuts in it which would’ve killed the kid.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
Ryan goes to his table and tries to remain low profile. But kids gather around him and DIEGO snaps his picture.
INT. HERMES
Start: Who drives the scene? Hermes technicians.
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? The computer seems to have captured the image Diego took.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? But the kids there use their psychic power to shut down the computer.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes?
The staff uses countermeasures, a shrill sound that makes the kids unable to shut down the computer. The computer crashes and they think they lost the picture. But then, they retrieve it.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now? They’ve found Ryan.
ACT V
EXT.
Start: Who drives the scene? Hermes
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Hermes soldiers, youthful ones who can infiltrate a high school are briefed.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? They want to capture Ryan but they want to also be able to make him cooperate.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes? They discuss ways to find his weakness. They discuss ways to befriend him. They discuss ways to discover if there’s anyone he’s helped that may be human receptacles.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now? They take off to Akron, the town where Ryan is hiding out.
EXT. CEMETERY – NIGHT
Start: Who drives the scene? SETH
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? Seth starts digging up the grave where his dog is buried.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? Seth finds his guns buried above his dog. But an agent sent by Hermes gets the drop on him.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes? Seth tries to take the guy down with a hidden gun but he’s not quick enough. He tries to talk his way out of this as he’s dying anyway but Hermes wants him dead now. Just before the guy shoots, Seth is able to bash his head in with his shovel.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now?
Seth leaves to find and protect Ryan.
EXT.
Start: Who drives the scene? Seth
Challenging Situation: What are the internal and external goals? What does the character want? As a seven year old, Ryan has to bury his medallion and give up being Star Rover. He becomes a normal kid, Ryan Gordon.
Conflict: What is the emotional or physical fight, struggle, or discord between two or more parties? Giving up Jimmy. Giving up the Christopher kids. Giving up Seth.
Action: What is the first action the character takes? What is the second obstacle? What is the second action the character takes? What is the third action the character takes? Star Rover is buried.
Finish: What thoughts, decisions, and actions does the character take now? Ryan Gordon is born.
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- The bustling cityscape, a visual representation of a
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Joan Macbeth’s Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is… it’s coming along! I can see that it will probably need to be longer, but I can fill in the blanks as I go along.
1. Tell us your Show Concept and Inciting Incident.
How did a destitute girl, pregnant from rape, become the most notorious con woman of the nineteenth century? Small-town girl of 18, May Dugas, finds herself trapped in Chicago due to poverty; she miscarries her baby but still cannot return home and pretend like it never happened. She uses her charm and cleverness to swindle upper-class men, because she believes any man is a potential rapist.
2. List your A, B, and C Stories.
- A story = High Concept story – May’s survival as a con artist (vs. Detective Reed Dougherty)
- B story = Colleagues and Competitors – May’s search for love
- C story = Other relationships – friends, family, colleagues
3. Present your current Beat Sheet with no dialogue.
(SluglineDescription only – no dialogue)
BEAT SHEET
Teaser:
INT. ANDREWS HOUSE – BALLROOM – NIGHT
Intro May, waltzing with Dale Andrews. May becomes uneasy when she recognizes two men, whose names she doesn’t know. They are “Andy” Andrews, and Reed Dougherty.
Dale proposes – it’s very public and makes May nervous, but she covers. Accepts. Her friends, Melody and Melissa, are at the engagement ball, as well as Dale’s wealthy parents.
INT. ANDREWS HOUSE – ALCOVE – NIGHT
May complains to Dale that two strange men, older, are causing her distress. She wants them thrown out.
Dale laughs and says one of them is his Uncle Andy. The other, he doesn’t know.
Dale introduces May and Uncle Andy – May is reluctant. Reed introduced by Andy. Return to ballroom, Dale introduces Reed to Melody and Melissa. All very open, but Reed is actually gathering information on May.
INT. ANDREWS HOUSE – BALLROOM – NIGHT
Reed watches May dance with Uncle Andy.
Reed and Dale talk; Reed dances with Melody; Dale with Melissa.
Act 1
INT. MELODY and MELISSA’S HOUSE – DAY
May, Melody, Melissa agog at May’s engagement ring.
EXT. MELODY and MELISSA’S HOUSE – DAY
May leaves the fine house, all well-to-do.
INT. PALMER HOUSE HOTEL – CAFE – DAY
May’s upset. She meets with her debonair friend, Claude Montcrief, and tells him about the men at her engagement party. She’s seen them before, in a place that she thought had been kept a secret. Claude plays it down, then finally admits that he knows who the men were, and reveals a plan that will make a good deal of money for him and for May. Turning Point: A secret from May’s past is revealed and she’s not the debutante she pretends to be.
??? More
Act 2
EXT. CHICAGO STREET – DAY
May runs into a young woman who knows her – only slightly. Miss Frank, who seems concerned for May’s health. May seems in a hurry to leave. Miss Frank seems to have a crush on May.
EXT./INT. JEWELRY SHOP – DAY
May takes her engagement ring to be appraised at her favourite jeweller.
Act 3:
INT. PALMER HOUSE HOTEL – MEETING ROOM – DAY
Claude and May meet with “the gentlemen” Andy and Reed, to discuss a copper mine investment. May poses as the daughter of a mining engineer from Upper Michigan – or is that who she actually is? Reed Dougherty seems quite interested in her, in several ways.
The investment scheme is a swindle, where Claude intends to get money from Andy and Reed, and he’ll split it with May.
Reed has invited two “working girls” who know May to attend the meeting and expose her unsavoury past, while Mr. Andrews and Dale are in the next room.
Turning Point: Reveal Reed Dougherty is a Pinkerton agent. Arrest in imminent!
But May slips away, while Claude is arrested, and the Andrews family is in pandemonium.
Act 4
EXT. CHICAGO STREETS – DAY
May flees – gets a carriage – speeds away – pays the driver to carry on in one direction while she flees on foot in the opposite way, into a poorer neighbourhood.
EXT. OLD HOUSE – DAY
May rings and is let in by a Black woman, apparently a servant, but it turns out everyone in the house is Black. MIZ HELENE welcomes May. They shelter her without question. May gives them some money – her guise for coming because apparently she donates to help shelter women. She confesses that Claude is in trouble – probably arrested.
EXT. CHICAGO JAIL – DAY
Dougherty seems much more interested in May than Claude – who hired him?
Deception: Reed Dougherty threatens Claude with prison, but Claude was coerced to commit the swindle so Reed knows Claude will have a defense. May is the one Reed wants.
INT. OLD HOUSE – DAY
- Wound: May is reminded of her past troubles – the rape and having to leave town to avoid scandal. Also, Claude is her friend and she feels she has betrayed him – guilt for that as she takes refuge with his sister/cousin.
- Hidden Agenda: Escape the law. (Not too hidden….) But maybe she’s not too forthcoming with Helene on information about Claude.
May writes some letters.
Claude comes to the house.
Act 5:
EXT./INT. JEWELRY SHOP – DAY
May picks up her jewelry, she’s had a paste copy of her ring made. She puts the real ring in her bag and wears the paste ring.
INT. MR. ANDREWS’ BANK – DAY
She meets Dale’s father at his bank – he pays her to get out of town. She’s good at negotiations. She has dirt on his brother Andy. Mr. Andrews accepts the blackmail because he doesn’t trust his brother.
He’s the one who hired the detective. She returns Dale’s ring, only it’s the paste one. May leaves.
EXT. CHICAGO STREETS – DAY
May runs into Miss Frank on the way to the station. May’s a bit desperate to get away. But some attraction…
INT./EXT. TRAIN STATION – DAY
Act 5 (Lock In): Cat and Mouse at the Train Station. Pinkerton guy is still out to get her. (May gets away, but faces another problem.)
INT. TRAIN PRIVATE COMPARTMENT – DAY
A conductor checks her ticket. The train’s on the move. May settles in, relieved to be safe from the Pinkerton guy. A knock at the door, claiming to be checking tickets. May is terrified. The door opens and May is shocked to see a young man – Robbie – her beau from Menominee.
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<font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Gayla Betts Beat Sheet
What I learned doing this assignment is I don’t have all the answers to my acts yet, and laying out the beats exposes the holes. I also – again – discovered some scenes needed to be moved to different acts, which changed my structure. I have a lot of placeholders.
Show Concept: When a woman discovers her own magic, she must use a portal to find answers to save the world.
Inciting Incident: Jess’ powers awaken when someone tries to assassinate her father. </font>
<font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>
A story = Saving humanity from Sidereal plotB story = Political plot – Caroline & Ophiuchus
C story = Relationships with Gabriel, Lilah
Teaser:
EXT. PLACEHOLDER SCENE – NIGHT
Intermittent threads of starlight around the Starlight Café.
INT. PLACEHOLDER –
A portal to the stars pulsates.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
JESS HARPER celebrates her birthday with her SAMUEL HARPER father, the PRESIDENT of the United States, which has been closed to the public. SECRET SERVICE AGENTS mill about at a distance. Jess thinks she sees a thread of starlight.
He notes her birthday is the vernal equinox.INT. PLACEHOLDER – NIGHT
Time is frozen. Jess hears a WOMAN’S voice. She reaches for a strand of starlight.INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
A shot rings out.
INT. PLACEHOLDER
As Jess touches the portal, there is a flash and a glimpse into a celestial world.</font>
<font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>ACT 1: </font>
<font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS – DAY
Jess and her roommate, LISA, walk out of a class building, discussing Jess’ birthday plans with her father that night. Her secret service agent, RAIF, is not far behind.
Jess thinks she sees a thread of starlight.
PLACEHOLDER SCENE – Someone discussing Jess.
EXT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Secret Service agents discuss security for the birthday dinner.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
JESS HARPER celebrates her birthday with her SAMUEL HARPER father, the PRESIDENT of the United States, which has been closed to the public. Secret Service agents mill about at a distance. Jess thinks she sees a thread of starlight.
A WAITER attends to them.
INT. RESTAURANT – KITCHEN – NIGHT
PLACEHOLDER – The cook looks suspicious/says something to the waiter.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
The president presents a gift to Jess – a silver bracelet. The conversation becomes heated. The agents perk up.
The waiter approaches – notices the bracelet. Looks back toward the kitchen.
INT. RESTAURANT – KITCHEN – NIGHT
The cook is on the phone. He stuffs it when an agent walks in.
INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT
Jess has not put on the bracelet, as their conversation has turned into an argument.
The whiz of a silent shot – then the president slumps over.
When Jess realizes, TIME STANDS STILL. SILENCE. A WOMAN’S VOICE speaks to Jess.
She reaches out to her father and touches his wound – horrified. I
n a vacuum, he opens his eyes and speaks to her. She’s confused.
TIME RESUMES. THE WORLD CRASHES BACK IN as agents rush to her father.
In the few seconds before Raif gets to her, the waiter snaps the bracelet on her wrist. As she turns to him, he tells her she needs to keep the bracelet on. She notices a thread of stardust near him.
By the time Raif arrives, he’s gone.
Ambulance sirens are heard in the distance.ACT 2:
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM – NIGHT
Jess sits in a chair. Secret Service agents are everywhere. CAROLINE JACKSON, the Vice President’s wife, enters. Hugs Jess. Tells her the VP is on his way. Seems to care.
Asks an AGENT for a report. There’s not much.The DOCTOR comes in. He doesn’t know how, but the President has survived – almost as if someone moved the bullet enough to save him. He’s in a coma for a unknown period of time.
Jess wants to see her father.
INT. HOSPITAL ICU ROOM – NIGHT
Under the watchful agents, the doctor and a nurse, Jess grabs her dad’s hand, babbling that she’s wearing the bracelet – “see”. She leans in and says something to him. He doesn’t respond. She begs him to wake up.
Caroline enters and coaxes her away. Says Jess is coming home with her.
Jess agrees but needs to go to her apartment and get some things. Raif and other agents will take her.
INT. JESS’ APARTMENT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Placeholder She uses her powers to get away.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Jess runs hard. Thinks she sees stardust threads and tries to follow them.
EXT. STREET – NIGHT
Time has passed. Jess sees a light ahead. As she gets closer, she sees the Starlight Café. It’ surrounded by threads of stardust. She enters the door.
INT. STARLIGHT CAFÉ – NIGHT
Everyone in the café stops talking and stare at Jess. GABRIEL, surrounded by adoring women, breaks free and moves toward Jess.</font>
<font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>As soon as she gets her bearings, Jess sees the BARTENDER – who is the waiter from dinner – and lunges at him, demanding answers. When Gabriel intervenes, the bartender runs away in a panic.
Gabriel points to Jess’ bracelet, and gets her attention by mentioning her mother.ACT 3:</font>
<font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>
INT. STARLIGHT CAFÉ – BOOTH – NIGHTGabriel looks over the bracelet – which Jess cannot remove.
He explains the Sidereal world to Jess, who is in disbelief. </font><font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>EXT. STARLIGHT CAFÉ – NIGHT</font>
<font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>Raif watches the café door – makes a call on his cell. </font>
<font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>INT. STARLIGHT CAFÉ – BOOTH – NIGHT
LILAH, the owner, joins Gabriel and Jess. She cautions Gabriel. Too late.
Jess wants answers from her. Because of the bracelet, Lilah is shaken. She wants Jess out of the café now – before it’s too late.Gabriel volunteers to take her out the back. He accidentally lets her see the portal, but brushes it off.
Act 4:
EXT. PARK – NIGHT
Gabriel shows Jess parts of the sky – PLACEHOLDER – explains the danger she’s in, which she doesn’t believe.
Jess has been getting calls/texts – gets another. She needs to go back to the hospital to see her father.
Gabriel warns her not to go. He has an idea. He offers to tutor her and walk her back to the hospital. Tries to warn her. He explains the sidereals cannot use powers on earth without a catalyst – her. But it also goes another way – she can use the sidereals in their world – so the ancient prophecy goes.PLACEHOLDER.
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT
When Jess enters the hospital, unseen so far, she overhears a conversation about her father being braindead and need her permission to let him go. In shock, she flees.
PLACEHOLDER.
Act 5
INT. WHITE HOUSE – DAY
Jess enters – placeholder – and is able to search the vice president’s office – only to run into Caroline.
Caroline tries to make a deal – but Jess sees through her. She agrees to meet her at the hospital later.
PLACEHOLDER(S)
INT. STARLIGHT CAFÉ – Jess sneaks into the café – thinks she does – and has a confrontation with Lilah – Gabriel already told her about her secret husband. Jess slips into the portal before Lilah can stop her.
</font>
<font face=”Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif”>PLACEHOLDER SCENES to add IN – Heart to heart with Lilah, Ophiuchus to some extent. Flashes Jess gets. More demos of her powers. </font>
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Phyllis’ Beat Sheet
I learned that the process of putting together a beat sheet got my creative juices flowing.
Show Concept: A scientist, a dying tech mogul, an ex-Senator and a marginalized cosmetics tycoon transfer their minds to young, brain-dead bodies, but their regained youth may not be worth the price.
Inciting Incident: Four wealthy, elderly individuals have transferred their minds to young, brain-dead bodies in an experimental procedure. They jump into their second chances, but nothing goes as planned.
A Story: The transfer procedure
B Story: Mark’s personal story
C Story: Suzanne’s personal story
Teaser
INT HIGH-TECH LAB – NIGHT
Four elderly individuals are paired with four brain-dead 30 somethings on life support. As the procedure starts, the elderly convulse and die.
Act One
INT. RETIREMENT COMMUNITY – DAY (3 MONTHS EARLIER)
Older Diana (75) receives Older Peter (68), who needs a patent from her to perform the procedure. She blackmails him into accepting her as a test subject.
EXT. GOLF COURSE – DAY
Older Mark (81) golfs with the head of the Independent Party, who says they won’t back Older Mark’s bid to regain his Senate seat because he’s too old.
INT. VOGUE MAGAZINE OFFICES – DAY
Older Suzanne (87) is approving the placement for her cosmetics ads. Her son Adam (59) bursts in to announce she has no authority anymore. Suzanne is humiliated.
INT. OLDER PETER’S EXECUTIVE OFFICE – DAY
Older Peter tells his CFO to put down the $20 million to be paid to Diana’s host family as a legal expense. Alone, he calls about selling or mortgaging his properties.
INT. DINER – DAY
Older Peter meets with his doctor where he won’t be seen. He’s dying of cancer. Too late for treatment. Doctor brings him oxycontin for the pain.
INT. HI-TECH LAB – DAY
Older Peter reviews test results that aren’t stellar. Cleverly asks a lower-level tech to run a hypothetical good scenario and send it straight to him.
INT. BOARDROOM – DAY
A Board Member accuses Older Peter of failing to notify them of the spiraling cost of the R&D for this procedure. The Board is about to pull the plug to avoid bankruptcy.
INT. HI-TECH AUDITORIUM – DAY
Older Peter holds a product launch press conference for the procedure that sends up the stock price. Now the Board has to let him proceed.
Act Two
INT. HIGH-TECH LAB – GALLERY CATWALK – DAY
Older Diana has no family to see before the procedure. Older Peter hasn’t seen his estranged daughter in 25 years, and has no plans to contact her now.
INT. HIGH-TECH LAB – DAY
Older Peter introduces Older Diana to Head Scientist Lily (50s) as a new member of the scientific team. Frosty between the two women.
INT. DINING ROOM – NIGHT
Older Mark eats dinner with his wife (74) whom he married for political reasons. He wants a divorce. She’ll air all the dirty laundry. He’ll just have to stick to mistresses.
INT. LAVISH TOWNHOUSE – DAY
Older Suzanne tries to convince her son that she wants a do-over on her personal life and has no interest in pursuing a role with the company. Her son wants it in writing.
INT. CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT OFFICE – DAY
Older Mark visits beloved Congresswoman Daughter (46) to explain what he’s going to do. She accuses him of robbing her of the family political legacy. He should just stand aside.
INT. HI-TECH LAB – NIGHT
The four test subjects are preparing for the procedure by having their heads shaved. Gallows humor.
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – NIGHT
Quick cuts of each host family saying a final goodbye to their loved one. The wife of Peter’s host doesn’t look upset to see her husband go.
INT. HI-TECH LAB – NIGHT
The run up to the Teaser: the test subjects are wired to hosts. Procedure starts. Same convulsion and death. But this time we go further and see the host bodies open their eyes.
Act Three
INT. PETER’S COMPANY GYM – DAY (6 MONTHS LATER)
Test Subjects are working out with trainers in their now fit host bodies. A photographer shoots video for publicity. Lily and Chief Doctor inform them they’ll be released.
INT. PETER’S EXECUTIVE OFFICE – DAY
Peter’s on video call selling middle-aged billionaires. Security calls: protesters are blocking the main gate. Peter reacts to footage: he’ll speak to the ringleader.
EXT. COMPANY CAMPUS – DAY
Peter meets with the protest leader, who is his estranged daughter. She notes they’re basically the same age now. Her demand? A lottery system.
EXT. PARK BASKETBALL COURT – DAY
Mark playing one-on-one against a campaign intern. A hot campaign manager, Eli (36) comes to interview. He shoots baskets with Mark during talk and gets the job.
EXT. CEMETERY – DAY
Suzanne brings flowers to a gravesite at a wealthy family’s burial plot. She takes out a photograph taken in the early 1970’s of a young man (25) playing a guitar.
INT. LAVISH TOWNHOUSE – NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Suzanne flashes back to glimpses of a horrible fight with her husband—she should have stayed with her first love.
INT. HOTEL SUITE – NIGHT
Suzanne is cyberstalking this family. An obituary for the same man, aged 70 (we can see resemblance). Searches social media and finds the grandson, Austin.
INT. GUITAR SHOP WITH STAGE – NIGHT
Austin’s turn to play. Suzanne in audience. She flirts with him after. He confesses it’s just a hobby. He’s in his family’s real estate business.
INT. MARK’S CAMPAIGN OFFICE – NIGHT
Attractive female polling expert tells Mark he needs a position on consciousness transfer. Flirts. Mark’s not interested. Eli changes in office to go out. Mark is mesmerized by his body.
INT. HI-TECH LAB – DAY
Lily wants to move forward to satisfy Peter’s timetable of new transfers in 6 months. Diana wants to go over past data, especially on the hosts. Argue over split of resources.
INT. OFFICE CORRIDOR/DIANA’S ROOM – NIGHT
Diana in bed, pores over her host’s physical data. Sees bio, notes photo of her husband. Scours social media for more. It’s his image that she can’t stop searching for. Till dawn.
INT. HI-TECH LAB – DAY
Mark tells Peter he’s leaning toward regulation. Mark is worried about national security. Peter, deadly calm, says he might have to reconsider whom to support in the Senate race.
Act Four
INT. COMPANY YOGA ROOM – DAY
Diana finds Peter finishing up a series of yoga poses. Suggests that with all the protests, it might be good publicity to visit the host families.
INT. JOSH’S APARTMENT – DAY
Upon meeting Josh (35), her host’s husband, Diana knows what to do to convince him that despite the impending divorce, his wife still loved him.
INT. THEO’S APARTMENT – DAY
Mark realizes his host was gay when he meets the husband Theo (40). His heart goes out to the 7-year-old daughter, thinking of his own daughter.
INT. MODEST HOUSE – DAY
Suzanne meets her host’s parentswho are thrilled to have a celebrity cosmetics tycoon in the family. They confess that their daughter was obsessive and manipulative.
INT. CHLOE’S APARTMENT – DAY
Peter meets his host’s abused wife, Chloe (33). She doesn’t believe that he’s not her husband. Pulls a gun. Won’t let him hurt another woman. Instinctively Peter grabs the gun from her. He nearly pistol-whips her, but stops himself.
INT. CAMPAIGN OFFICE – DAY
Mark asks the polling expert to find out how receptive people in his state are to gay or lesbian politicians.
EXT. COMPANY CAMPUS WALKWAY – DAY
Diana receives an urgent message from Peter to see him in his office. She asks her AI assistant for information on Dr. Arjun Chakrabarti. Informed he died in NY on 9/11.
INT. PETER’S EXECUTIVE OFFICE – DAY
Diana confirms that Peter’s rage came from how his host body is wired. Argue about transparency vs. hiding the truth. They both know how to push each other’s buttons. Peter pushes her against a wall and threatens to release a secret that will ruin her reputation.
Act Five
INT. DINER – DAY
Peter insists on keeping Mark and Suzanne in the dark. Diana needs everything on the host bodies. Peter admits he farmed out procurement to a firm that investigates potential hires.
INT. HOTEL SUITE – DAY
Suzanne finalizes a purchase, has it delivered to a marina slip.
EXT. 40-FOOT SAILBOAT – DAY
Suzanne and Austin enjoy the ride. She gets an alert that Adam is expanding into fashion. Austin reminds to let go. She gives him a vintage guitar. He gives her a passionate kiss.
EXT. CAMPUS WALKWAY – DAY
Diana reports to Peter that the records were all clean; no mention of Peter’s host’s violent tendencies.
INT. VETTING COMPANY – DAY
The four hosts selected were all vetted by a married couple killed in a car accident, sometime between the press conference and the consciousness transfer.
INT. CAMPAIGN OFFICE – NIGHT
Working late in otherwise empty office, Mark succumbs to Eli’s advances.They end up on the couch in Mark’s office. Mark swears Eli to secrecy.
INT. PETER’S EXECUTIVE OFFICE – DAY
While the investigators were vetting the hosts, they put a down payment on a new house and both bought top of the line E-Cars. Who paid them and then had them killed?
INT. UNDERGROUND BUNKER – DAY
Set up as a hi-tech lab. Scientists at work. General Barnes (60’s) surveys the scene as he gets a call from his office that his guest is waiting in his office.
INT. GENERAL BARNES PENTAGON OFFICE – DAY
Mark is there. Asks if Barnes is willing to help persuade the administration to endorse him for the Senate. Barnes assures Mark that as a mole he’ll be protecting national security.
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