Screenwriting Mastery › Forums › The 30 Day Screenplay › 30 Day Screenplay 17 › Lesson 9
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Lesson 9
Posted by cheryl croasmun on March 4, 2024 at 7:45 pmReply to post your work.
Trish replied 1 year, 1 month ago 5 Members · 4 Replies -
4 Replies
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ASSIGNMENT #9: Opening Scene and Character Introductions
What I learned doing this assignment is to be wildly imperfect and find joy in it! I loved putting (insert scene here) on the page. SO freeing.
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Step 1. Copy the scene from your beat sheet.
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Step 2. Outline the scene.
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Step 3. Write a minimum level first draft.
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Key Scene 1: Exciting opening scene intros a main character, the conflict and/or world.
Beat Sheet
INT. NIGHT Sam’s bedroom
OPENING: Carla reading “Where the Wild Things Are” to her son Sam for his bedtime story.
Opening Scene Outline:
Beginning: Carla laying in bed with Sam reading “Where the Wild Things Are”
Middle: Sam asks Carla a question and she responds in a character revealing way
End: Goodnight Sam. Carla steps on a lego piece and winces on her way out the door.
Antagonist intro scene when Harriet makes a ghostly appearance in the bedroom.
INCITING INCIDENT: Carla cries in bed silently at 3 am. She rolls over and we see a flutter of a curtain like a presence was there… (this is Harriet)
Outline:
Beginning: Carla crying in bed.
Middle: curtain bellows strangely
End: Harriet VO
HARRIET
INT. CHILD’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Carla, late 30s, is laying in bed next to her young son, Sam 8 years old, she is reading aloud “Where the Wild Things Are”.
CARLA
And the wild rompous went boom bang boom boom (insert actual line from near the end of the book here.)
SAM
Mom?
CARLA
(Keeps reading a little more not hearing Sam) —
SAM
Mom?
CARLA
What honey?
SAM
Are the monsters real? Are they gonna eat him up?
CARLA
No. No, of course not. It’s all in his imagination, for fun you know?
SAM
Yeah, but they seem so real.
CARLA
Do they?
SAM
Well it’d be more fun if they were real.
CARLA
I think it’d be scary if they were real. They might actually eat him up!
SAM
No they wouldn’t. He’s their King.
CARLA
I love you. It’s time for lights out buddy.
SAM
No! I want another story.
CARLA
I have to get to bed too pal. I’m exhausted. Come on now. We can read more in the morning before school.
SAM
It’s not the same. I don’t want to read in the morning.
CARLA
Goodnight. I love you!
Carla kisses Sam and turns out the light. Sam rolls over to fall asleep and Carla tip toes out of the room. Halfway across the floor she steps on a lego and let’s out a yell.
CARLA (CONT’D)
OW! Fuck! Goddammit.
SAM
Mom! You said a bad word.
CARLA
You have to clean this room in the morning!
SAM
No. Dad and I are in the middle of a battle.
CARLA
Goodnight.
Carla closes the door leaving it slightly ajar. “Why me,” tears spring to her eyes. She takes a deep breath and goes about shutting down the messy house for the night, before crawling into bed.
(SCENE WHERE CARLA CALLS MARK HERE)
INT. CARLA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Carla lays in bed eyes open in the dark as tears silently stream from her eyes.
CARLA
I’m so worthless.
A curtain bellows by the window. Carla sits up and looks at it. She stares. Gets out of bed to check that the window is closed. It is. That was weird. Carla climbs back into bed and pulls the covers up over her head and rolls over closing her eyes to go to sleep.
HARRIET
(VO) Girl you’ve got to get your shit together.
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Lesson 9: What I learned on this assignment: I learned that the quick TE points I’d written for came in handy, that it helped be get the essence of the scene quicker, to get to the heart of the scene with unnecessary jibber jabber.
Dr. Robert Amador’s (protagonist) Opening Scenes (BEAT SHEET/OUTLINE):
INT – NEW MEXICO STATE UNIVERSITY TELESCOPE-DAY
Opening: Robert is at celebration party for his protege SARAH (20s) who’s been hired by private corporation and will be making lots of money.
Becomes:
Opening Scene Outline
INT. – NM STATE UNIV OBSERVATORY. – DAY
Beginning: ASTROPHYSICIST ROBERT AMADOR(30s) Toasts departing protege, SARAH NOVIK(20s) on her accomplishments and wishes her good luck at her new Job. (Smart ass inside jokes could be made here about cheap champagne, Sarah and Robert’s not so secret Romance.”)
Middle: Other SMART “Big Bang Theory” types having fun at going away party. They make comment about expensive champagne and “how could Robert afford it” on his stipend.
End: Sarah thanks Robert for the party and her favorite champagne. It was a fun Romance while it Lasted. Robert realizes he’s running late for his own daughter’s birthday party. He takes chunk of cake. Another scientist makes smart ass comment about taking so much cake. Robert runs out the door. He races through desolate NM terrain.
Second scene beat sheet:
INT – EX-WIFE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
TE: Arrives late and drunk. his daughter is already in Bed. His ex-wife tears him a new one for bringing left over cake for his daughters birthday. He “forgot” to get present: Ex-wife inflicts revives deep wounds: “for never making enough money, failing as a husband, husband,father, as a Man. He sees his daughter watching the fight. He runs out of the house humiliated even more. Daughter yells out for him to stay:”Daddy.”
Becomes:
Second Scene Outline:
INT. – EX-WIFE’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Beginning: Robert Shows up late and a little tipsy with chunk of cake from party, no present . His Daughter is already sleeping.
Middle: Ex-Wife, ELIZABETH FLORES(30s) chews him out for being so negligent, for never having any money, for his failure of putting his stupid dreams first instead of making a living.
End: Robert runs out the door once more. Always running. . .He hears his daughter in the background yelling “DADDY.” He jumps in his truck. . .
Third Scene Beat Sheet:
I/E – GRANDPA’S HACIENDA – FRONT PORCH – DAY – FLASHBACK
PLACEHOLDER [Background on Robert: he was raised by his grandfather: He is loved and Grandfather tells him how smart he is, how good his english is: someday he’ll be best Astronomer]
PLACEHOLDER: WE LEARN OF MAYAN CALENDAR/CIVILIZATION AND MAYAN ASTRONOMERS?
#3: Scene that introduces Other LEAD character:
FIRST SCENE BEAT SHEET(Antagonist):
INT. – COLORADO CONFERENCE – DAY
TE: sees colleagues from previous jobs/university, Robert corrects them on an overlooked detail that could mess up their calculations. Robert really knows his stuff he’s top of his game!(Theme: Taking courage).
– At Conference, he presents his paper but is booed and jeered by Dr. Peter Rosinski leading the chorus of dissatisfaction with Robert’s presentation. His colleagues, which he corrected earlier–and are now drunk–heckle him as well:”Who’s the asshole now Robert!”
Becomes:
INT. – ASTRONOMY CONFERENCE – COLORADO – DAY
Beginning: Robert sees Colleagues from the past. Discussing latest research Topics. Robert corrects them on important overlooked detail. His Colleagues are impressed. Robert shines with confidence.
Middle: Robert gathers his notes. Appears organized, sharp. Makes his presentation. The whole room comes together mesmerized.
End: Dr. Peter Rosinski rises from front of Audience. Makes slow mocking CLAP. Peter humiliates Robert in public. Previous colleagues that were in awe of him now jeer at Robert. The whole conference hall of nerds bust out with laughter when Peter says funny remark about Robert’s presentation; Peter is a one man show full of quick witted comments; you’d better have your presentation tight in front of this asshole. Robert is palpably on verge of tears.
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SUBJECT: Mark Napier’s ACT 1 Opening Scenes
What did I learn? I am learning to fly by the seat of my pants. I think I just learned the basic steps to Outlining then laying out the Scene dialogue.
ACT 1:
OPENING SCENE OUTLINE:
BEGINNING: Mark is astonished by Chief of Mission (who is filling in as Acting Chief of Station) is cursing and suddenly calls Mark and Station’s Chief of Security (Tom) into the Deputy Chief of Station’s office.
MIDDLE: COM orders Mark and Tom to board a helicopter for Tikrit, Iraq and take into custody one of Mark’s Military Liaison Cell team members and take him to the CIA airfield in Baghdad for immediate expulsion from country.
END: Mark and Tom depart the office without questioning the orders.
ACT 1:
SLUG: INT–CIA Station (COM office), Baghdad, Iraq–Night
OPENING SCENE: Chief of Mission (COM) Banks storms out of his office into the adjoining office of Deputy Chief of Station. The Chief of Station (COS) and Deputy Chief of Station (DCOS) are not in the country and are not expected to return for another week.
TE 1: Mark is working at his computer and looks up when he abruptly hears COM make an astonishing remark…“I am going to throw that son-of-a-bitch in prison!”
DESCRIPTION: COM calls out to Mark and Tom, the Station’s Chief of Security, to come into the DCOS’ office. Both arrive and remain standing in Bank’s presence.
TE 2: Banks says…”I have a mission for you both and it involves two of Mark’s team members up range in Tikrit.
TE 3: Banks:…“I just got a call from the Cell Leader…Joe…that he had a heated argument with Gary who is the Communications Officer there. Gary threatened Joe with a knife that Gary threw at him.”
TE4: Banks: “ I want you guys to report to the flight line and board a helicopter. I’ve already arranged the helo and it will be here in 30 minutes. Time now is 1230 AM. Be at the flight line by 1 AM. Your mission is to secure, escort and expel Gary from country. IMMEDIATELY!…No ifs, ands, or buts about it!…. GO!”
DESCRIPTION: Mark and Tom glance at each other and immediately depart the office without a word to grab their survival gear and report to the flight line.
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Trish’s Act 1: Opening Scenes
What I learned doing this assignment is that I like the outlining idea, although I confess I didn’t use it for either of these scenes as they were simple, as far as action anyway. I will later though!
ACT 1
EXT. HOTEL – DAY
An exquisitely beautiful hotel abuts a gorgeous, clear lake. Tall trees surround them. This quaint, secluded locale offers hope to stressed out vacationers. “We help you forget your worries,” it screams.
An airport van drives up the solitary lane. Adult passengers (no kids) file out, grab their bags and head inside.
INT. HOTEL LOBBY – DAY
Two female clerks smile at the guests and usher them up to the counter.
RICHARD BLACKWELL, the hotel manager, stands off to the side, observing. Early 50s, expensive suit, clean shaven – he’s very much in charge.
An elderly bellhop, SAM HARRIS, grabs bags. He’s so old, the guests are scared to let him pick up the bags.
RANDOM GUEST
I got it. I’ll just keep it with me.
Sam grabs the bags anyway.
SAM
We’re a full-service hotel here. Don’t you worry.
EMMA HARPER approaches the counter. She’s in her 30s or 40s, burned out from her senior level marking position at a tech company, soon to be divorced. Wants to relax now, if you don’t mind.
HOTEL CLERK
Good afternoon, Ms. Harper.
EMMA
Hi, can you make sure my room is not near the elevator or stairwell? I need peace and quiet.
HOTEL CLERK
Oh, um, let me check. That may be hard to do. Our hotel is not that large, considering all rooms have a lake view.
Richard senses trouble.
EMMA
First someone spills coffee on me in the van and now this.
HOTEL CLERK
Don’t worry.
EMMA
I knew I shouldn’t have had my assistant make the reservation.
Richard comes to help the clerk.
RICHARD
Everything okay?
HOTEL CLERK
Just looking for the quietest room for Ms. Harper.
Richard points to the screen, since they can’t say the numbers out loud.
RICHARD
I hope this will meet your needs and more. Our one desire at [hotel name] is for guests to relax and be at peace.
He hands Emma the key cards.
EMMA
Thanks. I appreciate it.
RICHARD
Please let us know if there’s ever anything you need.
She nods.
INT. HOTEL LOUNGE – LATER
Emma heads to the bar, having left her bags in the room.
EMMA
(to the bartender)
Sauvignon blanc, please.
They nod.
A woman, DR. OLIVIA TURNER, similar in age, drink in hand, approaches her.
OLIVIA
Hi, I’m Olivia.
EMMA
Hi, Emma.
Emma gets her drink and they sit.
OLIVIA
Are you here for the week, too?
EMMA
Yeah, I think everyone has to book a week at a time, like a retreat.
OLIVIA
Oh right. My husband booked it. He’s over there with that guy.
EMMA
Which is which?
Olivia points to the men: MARCUS SANDER and LUCAS MCNARE.
OLIVIA
Marcus on the left. I think the guy’s name is Lucas. If you want me to find out more about him, I can ask Marcus later.
EMMA
Oh, no thanks. I’m here alone and glad to be that way.
OLIVIA
Got it. I hope we can be friends at least.
Emma can’t think of a polite, yet truthful, reply.
EMMA
Sure.
She gazes out the huge window at the lake.
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