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Post Your Lesson 16 Assignment here
Post Your Lesson 16 Assignment here
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7 Replies
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Margaret’s Outline – Version 1
Concept: A Roman soldier, inspired by a letter from (St.) Patrick, betrays his mission, squad, and family risking his life to save a band of captured Irish Christians.
<b style=”font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit;”>OPENING – Four-year-old Marcus is taught fighting skills by his uncle, Coroticus, a Roman Soldier. At 18, Marcus enters the Roman army and joins his uncle’s unit, where he has to prove his skills.
Mission 1: Learn fighting skills from his Uncle Coroticus, who is like a father to him (his own father died as a hero in battle).
Emotion 1: Marcus is a four-year old who has just lost his father and struggles to learn to sword fighting with his uncle who has taken over as a father figure. His uncle encourages him to love God and serve his country, which Marcus swears an oath to do.
Action 1: Training – Four-year-old Marcus trains with wooden swords.
Mission 2: Marcus (now 18) joins the Roman Army.
Emotion 2: Marcus signs up with the Roman army at 18. In the hardness of “boot camp” he maintains a jovial spirit.
Villian 1: Coroticus (Roman Commander) chooses his nephew to join his elite squadron (9 soldiers total) for a mission to kill/capture Irish Christians for Rome and the church.
Emotion 3: His uncle has him placed in an elite fighting unit and he is mocked, scorned and beaten by the squad as undeserving since he is new and inexperienced at war (seen as getting in by favoritism, not merit). The squad also pokes fun at his father, saying he was too weak to live past his first mission and they threaten that Marcus will suffer the same fate.
Mission 3: Marcus must prove himself worthy to the squad members to join the elite military unit.
Emotion 4: Marcus must prove himself in a competition with the squad. He is better than all of them.
Action 2: Competition among the squad where Marcus reveals his expertise in weaponry (Plumbata, staff sling, crossbow, etc.)
Emotion 5: Marcus commits to ridding Ireland of a “cult” on a mission sanctioned by the church.
Mission 4: Marcus kills/captures Irish Christians (including Mary Elizabeth) under Coroticus’ leadership.
Emotion 6: On a raid in Ireland, Marcus lets a young boy live instead of killing him per his mission.
Villian 2: Coroticus receives a letter from a bishop (St. Patrick). The letter states his mission is not from God, but from the devil. Coroticus shares the letter with the squad.
THE INCITING INCIDENT
Mission 5: Marcus confronts his uncle with St. Patrick’s letter, attempts to turn him from his mission to kill/capture Christians.
Emotion 7: Confronted with the evil nature of his mission (realizing they are true Christians and not a cult he is killing), Marcus stands for what is right, not tradition, and turns from his mission to rescue the Christians.
Villian 3: Coroticus must choose to either follow the Irish Bishop’s guidance and release the Christians (a band of 5 women and 3 youths) or keep his oath to church and state and complete his mission.
Villian 4: Deceives his nephew and secretly sends two of his soldiers to sell the captured Christians to the Picts.
FIRST TURNING POINT AT THE END OF ACT 1 – Marcus defies his uncle (Coroticus) and takes off after the captured Christians to free them from captivity.
Mission 6: Marcus must free the captured Christians before they are sold.
Action 3: Chase/Pursuit – Marcus must find and save the captured Christians before they reach the Picts
Villian 5: Coroticus realizes his nephew, Marcus, has betrayed him and his mission by going after the Christians to free them.
ACT 2:
Action 4: Fight – Hand to hand combat with the two Roman soldiers from his squad guarding the Christians. When the Roman soldiers refuse to give in, he kills them.
Emotion 8: In the attempt to free the Christians, Marcus must decide between killing soldiers of his own unit or leaving the Christians to be sold as slaves to the Picts, a barbarian tribe.
Action 5: Rescue – Marcus frees the Christians and escapes the Picts by taking the Christians down a cliff face to escape. Creatively uses javelin and ax to get the band down the cliff face.
MIDPOINT – The Picts are after Marcus. He realizes that he will have to fight them with the unskilled Christians.
ACT 3:
Mission 7: Marcus must defeat the Picts.
Action 6: Chase/Pursuit – A band of twenty Picts pursues Marcus and the Christians. Marcus trains the band in the use of weaponry and fighting tactics to avoid capture.
Action 7: Fight – Marcus and the Christians fight the Picts. Marcus risks his life to save Mary Elizabeth. The surviving Picts retreat.
Mission 8: Marcus must take the Christians safely back to their land.
Villian 6: Coroticus pursues Marcus to capture him and the Christians that have escaped.
SECOND TURNING POINT AT THE END OF ACT 2 – Coroticus and his unit overtake and capture Marcus and the Christians.
Mission 9: Defeat Coroticus and his unit.
Action 8: Dangerous Situations – Marcus and the Christians are confronted by Coroticus and the Roman squad (6 soldiers left).
CRISIS
Action 9: Fight/Capture – Marcus and the band of Christians fight but are no match for the elite Roman squad and are captured.
Villian 7: Coroticus gives Marcus the choice between denying his internal convictions, rejoin his squadron and complete the mission given him by church and state or death by stoning.
Action 10: Interrogation: Marcus is confronted by Coroticus, roughly interrogated, given the choice of rejoining the squad or death by stoning.
Mission 10: Marcus will die for his convictions rather than give in.
Villian 8: Coroticus condemns his nephew to death by stoning.
CLIMAX/ ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT
Mission 11: Protect the Christians from death by stoning.
Action 11: Stoning- Marcus and the band of Christians are stoned by the squad. Marcus has the band cower together and he covers them with his body (and red cape) during the stoning.
RESOLUTION
Villian 9: Coroticus regrets his nephew’s death but is unable to deny his lifelong commitment to church and state. He removes his belt (which represents truth to him), lays it on his nephew’s grave (the stone pile), takes his unit back out to complete his mission.
Mission 12: A beaten and bruised Marcus stirs from the stone pile, belt in hand. the Christians under his body are alive. Marcus survives to fight again.
Villian 10: Coroticus sees from a distance that Marcus is alive, but, touched by his persistence and dedication to the truth, leaves him be.
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Title: Small Town Cop.
Logline: Ex-wife kidnaps daughter as ransom forcing cop to retrieve contra-band.
Action Outline: I followed “Skill Mastery Sheet” below.
CREATING YOUR ACTION CONCEPT
Highly Skilled Hero – Stephan. Small town cop / Former military sniper.
Demand For Action – Drug distribution crosses state lines into small town.
Mission – Fighting drug dealers.
Corrupt Antagonist – Ex-wife Marcia who sells drugs.
Escalating Action – Marcia wants to kill ex-husband after losing custody of twin daughters.
HERO
Unique Skill Set – He is former military sniper.
Motivation – To protect and serve his small town.
Secret or Wound – One of his twin daughter’s was murdered by a drug dealer. The ex-wife returns and decides that she wants her other daughter back.
Hero Morally Right – He works for the law as a small town cop.
VILLAIN
Unbeatable – Cop taught ex-wife how to be a sniper. She uses it to deal drugs and to kill. She took over the state as drug queen.
Plan/Goal – Ex-wife returns and wants to intercept a contra-band drop. She also wants to take back her other daughter. She’s gonna kill ex-husband too.
What they lose if Hero survives – Ex-wife loses her life and daughter. She also loses the contra-band.
Villain Morally Wrong – Ex-wife is drug dealer who has to intercept a shipment of Contra-band in 48 hours.
IMPOSSIBLE MISSION
Puts Hero in Action – Cop finds out about the contra-band drop. Dealers are ordered to kill him if he gets in the way.
Demands They Go Beyond Their Best – Cop is forced to become the military sniper he used to be. He takes out many dealers with different sniper rifles.
Destroy the Villain – Cop stops drug deal. His is forced to kill ex-wife.
Tell us your improved answers – The 48-hours time stamp of the contra-band interception. Ex-wife has only a few days. Plus, The couple had twin daughters. One died and the other lives. It raises the stakes for both the hero and the villain.
CREATING THE MISSION TRACK
Motivation – Cop had twin daughters. One was kidnapped and murdered by a drug dealer. He wants to take care of his other daughter in his small town.
Inciting Incident – His living daughter is soon kidnapped by ex-wife.
First Action – Ex-wife calls cop to say she kidnapped their daughter. She will return her if he intercepts a contra-band drop. That drop passes through the small town, but he has to figure out when and where.
Obstacle – The ex-wife tells cop that he has only 48 hours to accomplish this task. Or, she will leave town and take away their daughter.
Escalation – Ex-wife doesn’t tell him that she will send drug dealers to stop him from intercepting the contra-band. Cop kills them all with his sniper rifles.
Overwhelming Odds – Cop intercepts contra-band, but there is no contra-band. Ex-wife had already grabbed that shipment. She uses sniper rifle on him and thinks she killed him. She leaves town with their daughter.
New Plan – Cop finds ex-wife’s main drug dealer. He forces that dealer to tell him where his ex-wife’s next drug deal is. That drug deal has moved back into his small town.
Full out Attack – The ex-wife doesn’t know that Cop holds the new contra-band. She and drug dealers walk into an ambush. She won’t tell him where their daughter is. They both pick up rifles.
Success – His daughter is re-united with father.
CREATE YOUR VILLAIN TRACK / PURPOSE OF THE VILLAIN TRACK
VERSION 2 PLAN: PRE-PLANNED.
Kidnap – Ex-wife returns to small town and kidnaps her daughter from the cop ex-husband.
Ransom – Ex-wife says she will return daughter. If the ex-husband intercepts a load of contra-band worth $$$. She gives him 48 hours.
Kill ex-husband – Ex-wife has set up the contraband drop. She has drug dealers in place to kill her cop who tries to intercept that contra-band.
Interception – Cop gets to the contra-band and faces drug dealers. She already has the drug money and their daughter.
Drops Ransom – Ex-wife tells cop she will never return their daughter. She only came back to kill him. She blames him for the death of the other twin daughter.
Revenge – Cop survives and organizes another contra-band drop. His ex-wife thinks he’s dead and so she returns. She is gunned down and the daughter is returned.
CREATE YOUR ACTION TRACK
Answer the Action Questions:
Considering the concept from Lesson 1 – what action could naturally show up in this movie? – Sniper rifle and cop gun play by male hero. Plus, hand-to-hand combat.
Considering the Mission and Villain Tracks – what action could work for this track? – Assault guns. Sniper rifles. Fighting drug dealers.
How can the action start well – build in the 2nd Act – and escalate to a climax in the 3rd Act? – Male hero uses sniper rifle to stop drug dealer. He then uses a bigger rifle to intercept contraband drop. Female villain uses her own sniper rifle to kill the ex-husband. Hero fakes death and returns to kill ex-wife.
Select the types of action you’ll use:
THE TEST – Ex-wife sends a drug dealer to the small town. She tests her cop ex-husband.
SHOOT-OUT – Cop takes his favorite rifle and uses it as a sniper. Drug dealer uses assault gun, but is killed.
CHALLENGE – Ex-wife tells cop she kidnapped their daughter. She says she’s been practicing her sniper rifle and will kill him.
SEARCH – Cop chooses a bigger rifle and searches for contra-band shipment. Finds wrong location drop.
AMBUSH – Cop is ambushed by drug dealers. He uses his military experience to fight back and kill them all. He also uses an even bigger rifle.
INTERCEPTION – Cop finds out where the contra-band is going to drop. He kills men to steal truck. He finds there is no contra-band.
ESCAPE/EVADE – Ex-wife uses her own sniper rifle on cop who drives that truck. He looses control and the truck turns over many times. Hero is presumed dead.
TAKEN – Ex-wife leaves with their daughter.
TORTURE – Cop survives crash. He finds the dealer used by ex-wife. He tortures him.
THE RETURN – Cop lures ex-wife back to town with a new contra-band drop. A shoot out ensues between him and her. He uses an even bigger rifle and kills her.
CREATE YOUR ACTION STRUCTURE
Opening — Female villain (ex-wife) sends a drug dealer to small town. Cop Male Hero (ex-husband) kills drug dealer with sniper rifle skill. Who is dealer?
Inciting Incident — The Hero’s second twin daughter is kidnapped.
First Turning Point at end of Act 1 — Female villain says she will return their daughter if Hero intercepts contra-band drop for her. He has 48 hours.
Mid-Point — Hero looks for contra-band drop and uses his rifle skills to take out drug dealers. He cannot find contra-band and discovers there is no drop. He faces more drug dealers.
Second Turning Point at end of Act 2 — Villain uses her own rifle mastery to kill hero. He supposedly dies and will not get daughter back.
Crisis — Villain left a message on Hero’s iPhone. She returned to kill him and to take back their daughter. The Hero lives and wants revenge on his ex-wife and to retrieve his daughter.
Climax — Hero finds ex-wife’s old dealer and sets up a fake contra-band drop. She returns to small town with an army of drug dealers. She discovers her ex-husband is still alive.
Resolution — Hero kills villain and gets back his daughter.
WHY DO WE CARE?
LIKABILITY / LOVABILITY
My hero is a veteran cop who takes care of a small town. / He won custody of his twin daughters. / One of his twin’s was kidnapped by a drug dealer. / The veteran cop uses sniper rifle to kill dealer, but couldn’t save his daughter. / He did everything by the law and lost her anyway.
EMPATHY / DISTRESS
The cop’s first daughter was taken right in front of him. / He was shot in the shoulder by the dealer. / The gun shot wound and the cop’s age slowed him down. / He takes care of his second daughter before kidnapping. / He is forced to use military experience.
JUSTIFICATION
The dealer is connected to the cop’s ex-wife and he doesn’t know about it. / She blames cop for their daughter’s death. / She kidnaps the other twin daughter. She is a top drug dealer who gives him an ultimatum. Intercept contra-band or never see his other daughter again. / The cop is forced to go against the law.
Organize them into a sequence that happens in the first “Act” of your script and tell us the story in a concise form.
Anxiety – The unknown male gets out of his truck and carries cop’s first twin daughter into the field. That male carries a gun which is aimed at the girl. The cop gets out of his police vehicle. He also pulls out his sniper rifle.
Fear – Through the rifle scope. The cop can see the male carrying his daughter. He cannot shoot her as they run farther away. His hand shakes, but the finger is on the trigger. The rifle scope aims at the male. The trigger is pulled.
Relief – Through the rifle scope. The male is shot and drops to the ground. The cop’s daughter also falls to the ground. The cop runs out into the field to retrieve her. He thinks she’s alive.
THE FULL MODEL FOR ENGAGING 5 ACTION SET PIECES
This is when ex-wife sends men to kill cop as a test. He discovers an ally.
SET UP – Unknown male talks to small town Cop/Hero on 2-way radio. Cop’s ex-wife/villain tried to kill him, but one twin daughter was killed instead. She is sending men to kill him again. Cop doesn’t know when these men will attack him. It’s a test of defense.
PRE-ACTION – Cop walks into hallway above parking structure. His hand touches gun and takes in the news about his ex-wife. Who is this unknown male who called him?
ACTION –
Surprise – Cop ambushed by 1st killer. Hand-to-hand combat. Cop is beaten, but kills male with gun. / 2nd killer shoots at cop. Gunfight in hallway. / Killer runs to parking lot door. Punches in code. Door slams shut.
Shock – A security guard friend opens door. Cop stands back. / Killer crashes door with truck and kills guard. / Cop falls back. He aims gun at back truck tire and blows it out. / Truck slams into car.
Suspense – Killer runs to other cars trying to hot wire one. / Cop runs to police vehicle. Grabs sniper rifle. Loads bullets. / Killer hot wires car and speeds off. / Cop shoots out windows. / Cop chases killer in car – down parking levels. / Cop bumps back-end and killer crashes.
Danger – 3rd killer drives truck straight him. / Cop puts car in reverse and is chased backward up parking lot levels. / Cop slams into wall on top level. His forehead bleeds. / Killer rams car and tries to force it over edge. / Cop reloads gun and kills the male. / Car’s right wheel hangs over the edge.
POST-ACTION – Cop has passed the test of self defense. The unknown male talks to him on 2-way radio again. Cop has to wait for ex-wife’s next move. He realizes she killed their other daughter.
ACTION DESCRIPTION PROCESS
This is still the action sequence where ex-wife sent men to kill cop.
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
Cop walks up hallway in police uniform. He listens to a single 2-way radio.
MALE (V.O)
Your ex-wife sent men to kill you. Can you defend yourself this time?
COP
Yes. My daughter was killed – but they came for me?
MALE (V.O)
They’re coming.
Cop walks to hallway corner and a killer swings a knife at him. Cop ducks and hits killer with fists… SLUG-SLUG-SLUG.
Killer quickly lifts cop off the floor and throws him against the opposite wall.. SLAM… The knife slices cop’s shoulder who grimaces in pain. He hits the floor and the killer raises knife ready to slice again.
Cop flips out gun and shoots killer in the stomach… POP-POP-POP… Blood spills.
Second killer rounds the corner and the cop sees him raise his gun. Cop hides under first killer’s body as a spray of bullets fly at him… Bullets hit dead body.
Cop leans over dead body and aims gun. POP-POP… First bullet hits shoulder of killer who falls back around corner.
INT. DOOR – HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
CLICK-SLIDE-SNAP… Cop reloads gun with another magazine. He opens door and steps inside stairwell.
INT. STAIRWELL – CONTINUOUS
Cop grabs his bleeding arm and looks down stairwell. He leaps down the steps.
INT. STAIRWELL – CONTINUOUS
Cop hears a door close and jumps down to next level. He sees double-door with security number pad. It’s locked and he aims gun at it.
FREDRICK
Wait.! I got it.!!
He’s a long time security guard who punches in numbers on pad.
COP
Thanks Fredrick.!
Cop stands back.
CRASH – Frederick is thrown as truck slams through doors. Cop jumps back onto floor.
Truck peels out as tires burn…. POP-POP-POP-POP – Cop shoots back tire of truck.
INT. PARKING LOT STRUCTURE – CONTINUOUS
Back tire blows out and truck drives down parking lot and slams into car. Killer gets out and runs to other cars to hot wire.
Cop runs to police vehicle and opens trunk. He quickly grabs sniper rifle and loads it.
… Killer hot wires car below and starts engine.
… Cop looks through rifle scope and fires… HIT-BUST.. back window glass falls as car speeds off.
… Cop gets into vehicle and chases car down parking levels. Tires screech.
… Cop catches up and hits car from behind. Killer rams into another car.
INT. POLICE VEHICLE – CONTINUOUS
Cop starts to get out when he sees a black truck driving at him. The third killer. He puts car in reverse and punches gas peddle.
… CRASH – truck rams into a different car.
… Cop drives in reverse back up parking lot levels.
… Third killer catches up to him with truck. He’s close as the truck touches police vehicle.
… Cop goes around final level and reaches the top. HIT – He rams into wall… SLAM – killer rams car and knocks out wall on the other side.
… Tires burn as police car is pushed over the edge.
… Cop leans up and aims gun at ruck driver. POP-POP-POP – BUST – Front window shatters… Everything stops.
Cop gets out of car and aims gun at driver.
COP
Who are you – ?
KILLER
Nobody –
COP
Who sent you – ? – Come on – I need a name.!!
Third killer leans against the steering wheel bleeding from forehead.
KILLER
Your Ex…. Wife.
COP
Was this a test – ?
The killer dies and cop drops his gun. His arms still bleeds.
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Thanks to Hal and Cheryl for this Action Class. I had not gotten feedback from another student on this final assignment. So, I will move on…. I will definitely use the SKILL MASTERY SHEET as a blue print for my next action screenplay.
Great class…. All the best.
Roscoe Pond
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Madeleine’s Outline Version 2
Title: Standing On Holy Ground
Logline: After St. Peter’s Basilica is overtaken by a band of dangerous mercenaries, an FBI legal attaché assigned to the U. S. Embassy in Rome and a former U. S. Army Ranger become priest join forces to save the Basilica, rescue the hostages, and bring down the bad guys, who are out to steal the Holy Grail.
Action Outline:
I.OPENING:
ACTION:
M1. A helicopter with the pilot, a Hopi Policeman, and FBI Special Agent Alberta Rossi on board, fly low over a high mesa on the Hopi Reservation, looking for a pickup truck fleeing the scene of a museum robbery with booty that includes an ancient Hopi ceremonial mask.
A1. Hopi policeman and Alberta get off the helicopter and confront the thieves on the ground. They fight it out with guns.
V1. Alberta is shot by one of the thieves, a woman whose voice she’s heard before, but where she cannot remember. The Hopi Policeman is shot and killed. The thieves, including the woman, escape with the loot.
POST-ACTION:
M2. After being seriously wounded saving the ceremonial Hopi mask, Alberta is offered a legal attaché assignment in Rome, Italy. Urged to by her husband, who is tired of finding her in hospitals at death’s door, she accepts.
II.INCITING INCIDENT:
PRE-ACTION:
A2. In Rome, Alberta Rossi and her son walk toward St. Peter’s Basilica. On the way, Alberta apprehends a pick-pocket and returns a purse to the victim, a woman whose face seems familiar, but which Alberta can’t quite place. It’s a small world. This incident embarrasses Alberta’s son.
ACTION:
V2.M3. In the Basilica, inside a confessional in St. Peter’s Basilica, Alberta hears a disturbance, peeks out , and sees uniformed, men with machine guns taking mobile phones away from tourists and penitents and herding them, including her son, to a central location. Among the mercenaries is the woman who was pickpocketed in St. Peter’s Square. Alberta recognizes her.
Alberta knows something is terribly wrong. Her questions are, who are these soldiers? Who is that woman? What do they want? Is my son in danger?
POST-ACTION:
M4. Inside the confessional, using her mobile phone, Alberta texts a friend in the U. S. Embassy in Rome. She describes the Basilica’s takeover and asks them to report the emergency to the Vatican Police and the Italian Police.
III. FIRST TURNING POINT AT END OF ACT I.
PRE-ACTION:
M5. At Alberta ‘s request, the priest turns off the confessional lights. They wait in the dark for the mercenaries and their hostages to disperse.
V3. Alberta hears the woman giving orders. The voice is so familiar. Finally, she places it. It’s the voice of the woman who shot and left her for dead on the Hopi Reservation.
M6. Alberta texts her friend in the U. S. Embassy and identifies the woman to her. She asks that an investigation be started.
ACTION:
A3. Escalation. Alberta and the Priest leave the confessionals and are immediately confronted by a mercenary lying in wait. With lightning speed the priest takes out the mercenary. Alberta collects the mercenary’s machine gun. They divide between them what is in the mercenary’s backpack, including plastic ties and plastic explosives.
What are the mercenaries intending to do? Blow up the Basilica?
POST-ACTION:
The priest confides in Alberta that he was a U. S. Army Ranger before becoming a priest and that he hadn’t expected to need his training again.
Alberta’s glad she’s stuck with him.
M7.Her friend in the U. S. Embassy texts her the number of the Italian Policeman trying to negotiate the situation.
IV.MID-POINT:
PRE-ACTION:
A4. Italian Police show up at the Basilica and hear the mercenaries’ demands. They want $1 billion dollars and safe passage out of Italy in exchange for the hostages and the Basilica. This is a stall tactic by both sides.
ACTION:
A5. V4. Mercenaries turn back an assault by Italian Police attempting to enter through the catacombs.
POST-ACTION
M8.Advised by the priest, Alberta texts the Italian Police that there’s a bricked-up entrance from inside the catacombs that can be breached with some effort. The trick will be to do it without alerting the mercenaries.
PRE-ACTION:
V5. Alberta and the priest discover mercenaries trying to break into a bullet-proof case, displaying an ancient chalice on loan to the Vatican from Valencia Cathedral. The deduce that this is what the mercenaries are after. The priest tells Alberta that recent research points to the cup as the Holy Grail. Not only is it worth millions, it also is said to have supernatural powers.
PRE-ACTION:
A6. The mercenaries’ drone catch Alberta and the priest on camera.
ACTION:
A7. V6. M8. The lead mercenary sends two soldiers to dispatch Alberta and the priest. Alberta and the priest defend against the two soldiers. Getting the upper hand on them, Alberta and the priest render the soldiers unconscious and tie them up with plastic ties. They confiscate the soldiers’ guns, plastic explosives, etc.
POST-ACTION
V7. The drone camera transmits the results of the fight to the lead mercenary. He calls back the drone.
PRE-ACTION
Outside the Basilica, the press report on the hostage situation. They’ve received information that one of the hostages is the daughter of a San Francisco billionaire and speculate that she’s the reason for the Basilica’s takeover. Their feed is available to mercenaries and to Alberta and the priest via their mobile phones.
ACTION
V8. A8. A soldier adds a machine gun to the drone and sends it out to find and kill Alberta and the priest. The drone finds Alberta and the priest and fires on them. They’re sitting ducks.
M9. Struck in the shoulder, Alberta still manages to pivot and fire on the drone. The drone blasts into smithereens.
The drone feed blacks out.
The priest and Alberta take cover. The priest ministers to Alberta.
V.SECOND TURNING POINT AT END OF ACT 2:
PRE-ACTION:
The press publishes a photo of the billionaire’s daughter. It’s Alberta’s face. The mercenaries start searching the hostages for her.
ACTION:
V9. At the Holy Grail display, the soldiers free the bullet proof cover from over the Holy Grail then summon the lead mercenary. He comes on the run, accompanied by the same woman whose purse was snatched in St. Peter’s Square.
V10. Capture. As the woman starts to pick up the chalice, the priest and Alberta step out of the shadows at the point of a gun. They’ve been taken prisoner.
M10.The priest reminds the woman what legend says about the Holy Grail. Only those in a state of grace can safely handle the chalice.
V 11. The woman demands the priest’s absolution. He tells her he can go through the ritual, say all the pretty words, but in the end, only the truly contrite receive actual absolution.
M11.Alberta steps forward. She tells the woman that she just confessed her sins and is in a state of grace. The woman steps aside for Alberta to remove the Holy Grail from the display case, but before Alberta can reach it, it suddenly descends down a shaft into a cement vault below the Basilica. A bullet-proof metal cover closes over the shaft. This happens every evening at 7:00 p.m. sharp.
V12. New Plan. The woman realizes that Alberta is the billionaire’s daughter. “She’s our ticket out of Rome.”
POST-ACTION
As the woman starts negotiations with the Italian Police, Alberta tells her she’s already contacted her father and told him to pay no ransom. The woman responds, “We’ll see about that.
VI.CRISIS:
PRE-ACTION
V13. M12. New Plan. Betrayal. Alberta and the priest are placed with the other hostages. Albert’s son sees her. He calls out, “MOM!”.
ACTION:
V14. Torture. The woman tells Alberta to beg her father to pay the ransom, or she’ll drop her son from the top of the cupola.
V15. The woman seizes Alberta’s son at gunpoint and forces him ahead of her up the stairs to the cupola.
POST-ACTION:
M13. Alberta begs her father to save her endangered son.. He promises to pay the ransom.
VII.Climax:
PRE-ACTION:
A6. The Italian Police brake through the brick wall into the Basilica.
ACTION:
A7.The Italian Police invade the Basilica. They soon overwhelm the remaining mercenaries and free the hostages.
M14.Freed, Alberta bolts up the stairs to the cupola after her son.
A8. M15. At the top of the cupola, the woman shoots at Alberta, but misses. As Alberta rushes toward her, the Italian Police arrive and shoot the woman. The force of the bullet pitches her over the railing. With Alberta’s help, her son shakes himself loose from the woman’s grip seconds before he goes over the railing, too.
POST-ACTION:
Alberta and her son are reunited.
VIII.Resolution:
The remaining mercenaries are taken into custody. The hostages are freed. Alberta and her son reunite with her husband who is outside the Basilica waiting for them.
The Pope gives Alberta and the Priest a special blessing for their courage under fire. He tells them the real Holy Grail is the Eucharist, which is the bread of life.
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Reply to Madeleine’s Outline
Opening: Should relate to the story. Hopi masks are sacred as Christian relics. You might consider using the contested sale of Hopi Masks at a Paris auction in Dec. 2013 as a guide.
If you start with the auction where the presenter with the gavel describes how religiously valuable these masks are, comparable to the Christian grail, you’ve established a connection.
Your hero needs more than just an FBI agent. What about her makes her special? She can shoot better than men? Or she has intuition, a second sense, something special. Remember “Silence of the Lambs”.
Your villain is not defined. A group of mercenaries is not a villain but the extension of one. Your villain maybe be a collector of religious artifacts that will go to any length to get her hands on them, including murder. Maybe she sees these items as a path to her own salvation or as way to her dominance and vengeance due to her loss of faith by threatening to destroy her collection.
The need for action is the need to retrieve these religious symbols that if lost forever could result in loss of faith.
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Reply to Roscoe’s Outline
Your hero is trying to save his family lost to drugs and thus the need for action. His special skill needs to be more than just being an ex-sniper. Maybe he was captured in Iraq or Afghanistan and tortured. He survived because of his thoughts of his family back home. Now, he sees his family being torn apart. His determination is to re-establish that family that saved him once and may save him and the rest of us again.
The villain is the drug lord, not the cop’s ex-wife. She is a victim and needs to be saved along with their daughter.
If your cop doesn’t stop the drug trade his entire family, his friends and the small town he lives in will be destroyed if not the USA. This means he will have to confront the powers in charge as he moves up the food chain to confront the drug boss.
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Reply to Margaret’s Outline
The Roman soldier’s question of faith may better be expressed through his response to the Christians who willingly suffer death at the Roman’s hands because they believe.
St. Patrick’s letter is placed in better context: “I have a part with those whom God called and destined to preach the gospel, even in persecutions which are no small matter, to the very ends of the earth.”
In other words, your hero as a trained soldier is torn between becoming a Christian and preach the gospel thus suffering the possibility of death or hide his faith and wander soulless through eternity.
His strength is how far will he go to abstain from violence by acting to convince others to stop violence and follow the word of God. That strength can turn violent hearts of the other Roman soldiers to support your hero.
The villain is the Roman General who is willing to destroy everything, his family who have become believers, his own troops who question his mania and the Roman citizens under his control who want peace and stability.
The climax is the final battle when faith meets paganism and the redeeming word of God convinces the Romans they have lost their old gods and must give up their old ways and lay down their arms.
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