• Professional Rewrite 82

  Lesson 8

  Posted by cheryl croasmun on April 16, 2024 at 6:13 pm

  Reply to post your assignment.

  Tasha Espinoza replied 1 year ago 3 Members · 2 Replies
• 2 Replies

• 

  j y

  Member

  May 20, 2024 at 4:02 pm

  Jessica Tremblay Elevates Lead Characters!
  What I learned from doing this assignment is I have been too kind to my character. In early drafts I removed a major character trait – OCD – that was making her life hell in the dirty disorganize basement storage area, but adding it back would actually make her journey stronger and a bigger transformation.
  A. Need Stronger Lead Characters: A shoplifter with OCD
  B. Need Stronger Character Intros: she,s a shoplifter who discovers she just slept with a copy and her apartment is full of evidence
  C. Playing it Too Safe: She has OCD. Obsessed with cleanliness and order.
  D. Lead Characters Not Present: she’s actually in every scene except the hook.

  • This reply was modified 1 year ago by  j y.
• 

  Tasha Espinoza

  Member

  May 25, 2024 at 10:14 pm

  Tasha’s Elevates Lead Characters!

  What I learned from doing this assignment is that it's really helpful to think about making your character resonate with the audience by giving them some relatable issues. A fun and easy way to elevate the character.

  List of changes
  A. Need Stronger Lead Characters
  Need to give Bethany some qualities/actions that make her more complex. Do not worry about making her likable.
  10 ways to make her more complex:
  -Abandonment issues
  -Neurotic about people leaving her
  -Using humor as a defense mechanism
  -A little bit selfish – she has been told about her exorcism and how she hurt people, but she doesn’t remember it so she’s still willing to put people at risk.
  -Socially awkward – she’s been mostly around nuns and priests, not really her peers
  -Has a temper
  -Can be mean
  -Can be Unforgiving or slow to forgive esp when her trust has been violated
  -Lack of a backbone (at first)
  -Unfair about something like to Amy or Koju
  Make her relatable, let the audience see themselves in her.

  B. Need Stronger Character Intros
  There needs to be a real threat that Bethany is going to lose her soul. Demon 23 should almost succeed. The audience should worry for her.
  There also has to be something interesting about the way Bethany is first introduced like her head spins around or she has superhuman strength or something else unique but makes sense for a possession scene. Need that spotlight effect.

  C. Playing it Too Safe
  Bethany doesn’t play it safe, but she’s too relaxed about her decisions in the second half of the 2nd Act. She needs to be more unsure, more worried about the stakes involved in taking Deacon Anders and Demon 23 on. She’s choosing a path away from her faith and it confirms the existence of the supernatural. She needs to have a more extreme reaction to all of this so that the audience knows that Bethany knows she’s taking some big risks.

  D. Lead Characters Not Present
  There is one scene Bethany or Deacon Anders are not present in. It’s Amy’s scene. I can add Bethany to it and this is where Amy hands over a very important item to Bethany.

  • This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Tasha Espinoza.

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