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Lesson 26
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4 Replies
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Logline: Fleeing from danger, Carley and Marcus get stranded in the back alley of a crime ridden neighborhood.
Essence: When the cats away the mice will play.
Scene:
EXT. DARK ALLEY – NIGHT
Black and White: as seen from a surveillance camera: A seedy alleyway; back doors lead to bars and clubs. A junky car creeps; it’s lights flicker as it rolls to a stop.
Real time: The driver is CARLEY, 28, attractive. The passenger is MARCUS, 32, big, balding. They wear lab coats.
INT. CARLEY’S JUNKER
Carley turns the key over. It clicks, but no juice.
CARLEY
Love? Really, Marcus? Here? You sure know how to pick your moments.MARCUS
Forgive me if this complicates things, but it's time you knew — I've always loved you.CARLEY
Can’t say I saw this coming, but I think we’ve got bigger problems.She takes a worried look over her shoulder and tries again.
MARCUS
This is not how I imagined…Carley pops the hood.
CARLEY
I thought we hated each other. I thought… I thought you were disgusting. No offence.A drunk stumbles from a door and vomits into a dumpster.
MARCUS
I'm sorry if I've given you that impression. I've always respected you, even when we clashed.The RADIO BLARES MUSIC. They are both alarmed.
RADIO
“The power of love is a curious thing…”The RADIO DIES. Carley pops the trunk and gets out.
EXT. DARK ALLEY
Marcus follows her.
CARLEY
I have jumper cables.MARCUS
Wait!Carley opens the trunk. There’s a golf bag and a silver case.
CARLEY
This is your stuff. This is your car.MARCUS
Carley, look at me.He takes her by the shoulders and turns her towards him.
CARLEY
Listen, Marcus, I do care about you, I think… but let’s try to get out of here first, and then we can talk… okay?She wrests herself away and opens the case.
MARCUS
You’re right. I’m letting my imagination get ahead of me. I’m sorry…Inside the case: vials of strange gold liquid.
CARLEY
Marcus. If you don’t mind, please explain what’s going on.Marcus takes the case and closes it.
MARCUS
It’s the hallucinogen. Remember? We’re taking it to the police. But you got exposed.Carley shakes her head vigorously then grasps her temples.
MARCUS
We have to keep moving.Carley takes out her phone. The Vomit Guy moves toward them.
Vomit Guy belches a long, strange burp.
CARLEY
(in phone) I’ll send you our location.Vomit Guy pulls out a gun. Marcus shields Carley.
MARCUS
Really? In front of a security camera?VOMIT GUY
Just give me your money.POLICE SIRENS. Vomit Guy is spooked. He runs away.
MARCUS
Who did you call?CARLEY
Professor Renfro.The police car passes behind them. The SIRENS get distant.
MARCUS
Are you serious? You idiot. That’s who we’re running from.CARLEY
You’re the idiot. You’ve always been the idiot. Oh my god, did I say that out loud?Another car idles nearby. Marcus looks in the window.
MARCUS
C’mon, let’s take this car. We can return it later.Carley hesitates. Marcus gets into the drivers side.
MARCUS
We’re not stealing, we’re borrowing!She looks up the alley as a drug deal goes down.
MARCUS
Imagine if the roles were reversed. If someone was in danger and needed our car, wouldn’t you want them to do whatever it takes to stay safe?Carley reluctantly gets into the passenger side.
INT. STRANGERS CAR
Marcus puts it into drive and the car goes dead.
The clock on the dashboard whirls. Outside, it goes from dark to bright daylight to darkness. Spooked, they both jump out.
EXT. DARK ALLEY
CARLEY
(crying) Am I losing my mind? I don’t know what’s happening.MARCUS
I’m so sorry about all this. Everything is going to be okay. Let’s stick to our plan.He holds her in his arms. She’s comforted. She looks up into his eyes, he leans in for a kiss. Headlights advance toward them – they break apart.
MARCUS
Oh, for the love of…CARLEY
It’s Professor Renfro! Run!MARCUS
This way!Marcus signals Carley to follow, but Carley runs opposite.
She redirects and runs straight to the headlights. The car screeches to a halt and Carley peers into the windshield.
CARLEY
It’s Betty! It’s okay. It’s Betty!BETTY, 23, dressed to the nines, gets out of the car.
BETTY
I came as soon as I could.CARLEY
Look at you! Betty you’re not going to believe…Betty pulls out a gun.
BETTY
Just hand over the vials and nobody gets hurt.Marcus grabs the gun from Betty. Betty disappears.
CARLEY
Wait. What happened? Where…MARCUS
I just saved you.He gently takes Carley in his arms again.
CARLEY
Are you my hero?MARCUS
I hope so.They embrace.
INT. SURVEILLANCE CAMERA
The embrace is seen in black and white. There are HOOTS and HOLLERS and a cacophony of people talking.
EXT. DARK ALLEY
Marcus takes out a syringe and plugs Carley’s arm. She YELPS, faints into his arms then comes to.
MARCUS
I told you…Carley looks around and blinks. The scenery flashes.
INT. LAB ROOM – DAY
Carley and Marcus are alone in a white tiled room. There’s a silver table that holds vials of gold liquid. A group of scientists, Betty among them, watch from an observation window. They exchange money and laugh.
MARCUS
My hallucinogen works. It makes you go against your conscience.CARLEY
Oh, god. Did we?…MARCUS
Right on the kisser, baby!CARLEY
Ugh. (yells through the window) Alright, alright already, you animals. (to Marcus) Okay – double or nothing. I will resist this time.MARCUS
Wait! Professor Renfro will be back any minute!Carley grabs a vial from the table and downs the liquid.
MARCUS
Fine. But it’s your nightmare. This time I’m gonna slip you the tounge.Carley grimaces.
CARLEY
Not on your life.-
Great setting and characters. Also very humorous element really adds to the overall tone of the story and the reveals. The surreal experiences for the characters keeps the reader guessing on what’s really happening and why. The reveals keep coming, sometimes deceiving the reader but leading to another reality which enhances the overall theme and story.
Really great scene!
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LOGLINE: Carley and Marcus partake in a game of wits during a poker game in the old west.
ESSENCE: Hunches can turn out to be true.
SCENE:
INT. SALOON – LATE AFTERNOON
The only tavern in a hundred mile radius, the "Hole in the Wall" is as fancy as you can get in the late eighteen hundreds Wyoming. CARLEY is one of the young saloon girls who serves drinks and entertains the patrons with singing and dancing. She weaves between the table making her rounds. Mayor TOM WATKINS grabs her arm as she walks by.
MAYOR TOM WATKINS
Dearest, could you get me another beer?CARLEY
Yes Mr. Mayor.The doors swing open and in walks MARCUS, the general store owner. He takes off his hat and wipes the dirt off the brim. He glances at Carley as he makes his way to the bar. CARSON the bartender is pouring a beer from the tap.
MARCUS
Get me a beer, Carson.Carson hands Marcus a beer.
CARSON
Already got you one, Marcus.He hands it to Marcus, who then takes a long drink. Carley rushes over to the bar.
CARLEY
Hey sweetheart, I need three more beers.Carson nods his head and gets more glasses.
MARCUS
(to Carley)
Sweetheart? Do I picture a courtship in the making?Carson smirks as fills up the glasses and hands Carley the beers.
CARLEY
Wouldn't you like to know?
(to Carson)
Thank you very much.Carley walks to the other side of the saloon. Carson shrugs at Marcus.
MARCUS
I'll be back later for poker.Carson nods. Marcus gulps down the rest of his beer. He stands up and walks through the double swinging doors.
INT. SALOON – LATER
Smoke and boisterous patrons pack the saloon. A few saloon girls are singing along to a piano tune played by the Mayor, who appears to have had a few too many beers. The DEALER, Marcus, Carley, and seven other players sit with cards in their hands at one of the many poker tables.
DEALER
You're turn to ante, Marcus.Marcus throws two of his wooden chips into the pile. The dealer then deals five cards to each of the players. A round of betting occurs. Two players fold. Carley discards two cards.
CARLEY
I raise.Carley throws in three chips. The dealer discards two of his cards and deals two more cards to himself and Carley. Three players stand pat. Two players each raise. Marcus throws in five chips for the raise.
MARCUS
I call.Another round of betting, raising, and calling. Two more players fold. Carley throws six chips into the pot.
CARLEY
I raise.The remaining players throw in their chips for the raise and call their hands. All eyes land on Carley. She reveals her four of a kind. All the remaining player except Marcus fold. The dealer only has three of a kind. Marcus pauses and reveals his hand.
MARCUS
Straight flush.Carley sneers while the rest of the table guffaws.
CARLEY
Wow. That was a lucky hand.Marcus gathers up his winnings.
MARCUS
I assure you no luck was involved.CARLEY
You sure that deck wasn't stacked?Several players let out moans.
MARCUS
You calling me a swindler?CARLEY
If the shoe fits.MARCUS
(quoting Shakespeare)
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."CARLEY
I take offense to that.MARCUS
You had a pretty lucky hand as well.CARLEY
Oh, so now I'm the one who's cheating. I'm cashing out.Carley gathers up her winnings and walks over to the bar.
MARCUS
I'm sorry you had to witness that, fellas. Anyone interested in another hand?EXT. SALOON – LATER
Carley sits on a bench and looks up at the stars. Marcus exits the saloon and sees Carley.
MARCUS
Are you still upset about losing?He walks over and sits down next to Carley.
CARLEY
I don't think I invited you over here.MARCUS
Well, are you upset?CARLEY
I don't have to answer that question.MARCUS
Look, I'm sorry that it appears this way, but I'm not looking for an argument.CARLEY
You could have fooled me.Carley cools down a bit.
CARLEY
What are you looking for?Marcus laughs.
MARCUS
Someone I can cheat at cards with.Carley scoffs.
CARLEY
So you DID cheat.Marcus looks at Carley.
MARCUS
Yes, I did. I'm sorry I accused you of something that I was doing.Carley grins.
MARCUS
What?CARLEY
It appears you were better at cheating than me.MARCUS
I knew it!Marcus sighs and looks into Carley's eyes.
MARCUS
You're the first person who has actually been able to crack my ingenuity.CARLEY
Are you trying to flatter me?MARCUS
Is it working?CARLEY
Maybe.Marcus and Carley look into each other's eyes and lean in to kiss.
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Firdaus F Bilimoria – Lesson 26 QE Cycle #6: Write this Scene
LOGLINE: Carley and Marcus overcome their past history and recognize they have a similar sense of compassion and insight into life’s harshness.
ESSENCE: Marcus and Carley are more alike than they realize which leads to their recognition of a romantic connection.
SCENE:
INT. STAGE IN VENICE FILM FESTIVAL AUDITORIUM, NIGHT – NIGHT
An audience of well-dressed film festival goers are seated waiting for the interview to begin. The stage has two chairs.
CARLEY, early 40s, chic and intellectual-looking, and MARCUS, 50s, stylish in a professorial manner, enter.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Please welcome Carley Horner, well known auteur-director, and Marcus Thomas, the famously erudite and incisive film critic.The crowd claps for a long minute. Carley and Marcus smile and acknowledge the applause. Marcus gestures to Carley to sit. They sit.
MARCUS
Thank you Carley for joining. Your new film, Angels in Disguise, has been very well received here at the Venice Film Festival. Congratulations on yet another great film.CARLEY
Thank you Marcus, coming from you that is a great boost to my fragile ego.Marcus’ expression tightens subtly. He recognizes an undercurrent of hostility in Carley’s response.
MARCUS
So tell me Carley..CARLEY
(interrupts Marcus)
Particularly since your review of my very first film was so brutal and almost aborted my career before it started.Gasps in the audience. Someone laughs out loud.
MARCUS
Brutal you say…CARLEY
Brutal and vicious if may say so.MARCUS
Well brutal and vicious is often how your films are described.CARLEY
Yes! Because I recognize the brutality of life and explore these dark themes in my work!MARCUS
Well brutal and vicious is a compliment, of course, and that characteristic tone and visual coloring is why audiences, and I, respect your work and find it so compelling.CARLEY
(expressive with exaggerated hand gestures)
I apologize I was rude in my first reaction. Its just I am overwhelmed by the great presence of Marcus Thomas, the great film critic and historian.MARCUS
(smiles)
Are you being sarcastic?CARLEY
How could you tell? Was I too obvious?MARCUS
Correction, perhaps you were being passive-aggressive.CARLEY
I would describe it as aggressive-aggressive, I don’t fool around. Unlike your film critiques which are all over the map, and leave the reader wondering what you really mean.MARCUS
(laughs)
So I wasn’t that obviously one-sided in my critique of your earlier work. (interrupts Carley as she begins to retort) And by the way, that was a very perceptive critique of my critique style.Marcus flashes a smile at Carley and at the audience. The audience laughs. Carley smiles in spite of herself. Carley and Marcus stare at each other.
MARCUS
So let us explore your reaction to my earlier critique, which demolished your life and almost derailed your career. Was it that traumatic?CARLEY
You are making fun of me.MARCUS
No indulge me, was it really hard on the younger Carley. I don’t know whether I should be more cognizant of the impact of my work on the artists that I critique.CARLEY
You are making fun of me.MARCUS
Maybe just a little bit. But wasn’t my approach similar to yours? You are known for your brutal honesty and couldn’t care less for the impact on the viewers’ sensibilities.CARLEY
I am brutally honest when I present characters in heart-wrenching circumstances faced with difficult choices and impossible imperatives in life! The characters and the stories deserve the brutal honesty from me as the artistic creator!MARCUS
But a critic like myself faces similar choices. No?CARLEY
No! Because the critic is merely a second-hand channel for describing the original creator’s work!MARCUS
Ouch! Second hand channel. Tell us how you really feel! (to the audience) Ms. Carley is pulling no punches here, and I deserve it.The audience laughs, somewhat nervously.
CARLEY
Ok that was a bit much. I shouldn’t have said it. I apologize.
(beat)
Really. I mean it.Marcus smiles gently.
MARCUS
So tell me, apart from the disastrous early critique from me, what other trauma has life thrown your way? And don’t get me wrong! Your work is powerful and recognizes the underlying harshness and cruelty of life, that even the most shallow of viewers find compelling and thought-provoking. What is the source of this perspective, this vision? What experiences have led you to this state of perceptiveness and compassion, which I think underlines all your work?Carley looks at Marcus, almost touched by the question.
MARCUS
(laughs gently)
We are listening.Carley laughs.
CARLEY
You sound like a shrink.MARCUS
That is part of my job description you know.CARLEY
And mine as well.They smile at each other, recognizing a common ground for the first time.
CARLEY
(slowly)
We have all had our tough times, experiences, heartbreaks, breakdowns, …Carley pauses. Marcus smiles gently, waits for her to continue.
CARLEY
I guess my life has not been easy at times, and I channel it in my work… But… One of the outcomes, in a good way, is one can learn that life is not easy and recognize it, and bring that to life through our characters.Marcus waits. He smiles at Carley with compassion and understanding.
CARLEY
I would like to think that my work is not all brutal and harsh, but rather…MARCUS
Go on…CARLEY
Rather, I would like to think there is some poignancy, some hope, some better outcome it can lead to…MARCUS
(gently)
That was very well said Carley. And also I think there is a lesson for all of us in life…Carley and Marcus stare at each other in understanding.
CARLEY Yes…
The audience claps.
INT. AFTER PARTY AT VENICE HOTEL, NIGHT
The party is in full swing with the well-heeled crowd of celebrities and movie actors, creatives, producers and business people, in the old-fashioned but swanky hotel dock facing the Venice mainland over the canal. Carley and Marcus are at opposite ends of the crowd. They notice each other and smile. They walk away from the crowd towards the part of the waterfront which is secluded.CARLEY
Sorry about being so hard on you.MARCUS
If I can dish it out, I can take it.CARLEY
You were insightful.MARCUS
Part of the job.They stand by the gentle water in the moonlight. It is tranquil and soothing. They smile at each other. They continue to stare at each other, recognizing a mutual attraction and passion.
Marcus smiles, but won’t make the first move. Carley touches his shoulder, then his face. They kiss.-
This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by Firdaus Bilimoria.
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This reply was modified 8 months, 1 week ago by
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