-
Lesson 14
Reply to post your assignment.
-
4 Replies
-
Carole Avila — Scary-As-Hell Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is that there are necessary elements to make a story more frightening.
INT – ADLEY’S ROOM – NIGHT
ADLEY is in a restless sleep. She opens her eyes and gasps. The overhead light is off. She kicks at the blanket because something is poking her feet. She sits up in bed, frantic, and tears off the blankets.
Moonlight casts a glow throughout the room and light beams across the bed. ADLEY sees a lump moving near the foot of her bed under the blankets. She pushes back into the headboard as a long, thorny fingernail shoves its way out of a hole and jabs the air as if trying to find something.
ADLEY gapes open mouthed at the fingernail, paralyzed as the gash widens. She finally stands up and is ready to jump off the bed, but her feet tangle in the blankets. She falls against the headboard. The thing under the comforter stops moving. The nail moves slowly so that it ends up pointing at her. ADLEY groans.
ADLEY clutches the headboard as she kicks at the blankets to free her feet. She grips the wooden frame and accidentally detaches the top wood strip on the side, which runs the length of the headboard. With just enough ambient light, under the flap, she sees a compartment containing a leather rectangular object with gold corners, the gypsy’s manuscript that she's been looking for which holds the counter-curse to destroy the thing in her room.
ADLEY hears a slight noise and whips her head around. The fingernail is no longer sticking out of the hole. Now a claw-like hand crawls up from the foot of the bed, attached to a tail of bone. ADLEY gasps, eyes wide, mouth dropped open. It spider-walks toward her, stopping inches from her feet.
MONSTER
(hideous whisper)
Aaaadley!ADLEY
Shut up, you freak!The hand jumps on her foot, and its nails drive into her ankle. ADLEY cries out. She kicks repeatedly until the skeletal hand loosened its grip. She whimpers as she tries to stomp on it but keeps missing. She shakes her foot with all her strength, and the string of bone flies off the side of the mattress, taking the hand with it. It clacks onto the floor, then coils snake-like about to strike. Her eyes widen and she cringes, but it doesn’t propel itself at her and lunges under the bed instead.
ADLEY runs across the bed and jumps to the floor, but her fuzzy socks make her slide like a surfer. Her arms are out to keep balanced. ADLEY skids toward the door just as the appendage shoots out from under the bed. The hand balances atop its tail and its long fingers are open claw-like against the door, preventing her escape.
ADLEY skates in a U-turn and scrambles back onto the bed, stumbling across the mattress to the headboard, holding onto it for dear life. She takes a deep breath, about to scream, and the hand attached to the snake-like rope flies across the room straight at her.
ADLEY ducks to the side, and the bones smash into the headboard, breaking apart. The pieces roll to the floor and slide under the bed as if pulled by a magnet. ADLEY is breathing hard. It’s quiet for a few beats. Then she hears a click at the foot of the mattress.
The skeletal bones clack as it crawls spider-like up the foot of the bed again. It stops, and its bony fingernails tapped against each other. ADLEY jumps off the side of the bed, but her legs are caught in the blankets. Her body hits the hardwood floor. She grunts as her legs flail against the tangled covers.
The hand crawls out from under the bed and latches onto her foot, clawing her ankle again. She cries out and kicks hard. The bony hand skids across the slick floor, sailing back under the bed. ADLEY yanks free of the blankets, but a sheet is still wrapped around her ankle. She limps quickly to the door.
She screams, but her voice is overpowered by an inhuman howl filling the room. She doesn’t look back. Terrified and inches from the door, a menacing growl resonates behind her. ADLEY shrieks and wrestles with the icy handle. The door opens. ADLEY trips on the sheet and pitches forward, falling with arms forward across the threshold, half in, half out of the room.
The hand clamps down on her foot, and she writhes helplessly, tears streaming down her face.
ADLEY
(screams)
Nooo!It slowly pulls her back into the room, dragging her toward the bottom of the bed. ADLEY claws at the carpet fibers in the hallway and gives a single powerful kick. The MONSTER flies off her foot, careens across the floor and underneath the bed.
ADLEY scrambles to her feet. The hand charges from under the bed.
INT – UPSTAIRS HALLWAY – NIGHT
ADLEY jumps into the hallway and seizes the icy handle, and pulls the door shut. The door shudders when the hand slams against it. She hears bone fragments clattering and rolling on the floor.
ADLEY’S panting and her knees buckle. Her parents race down the hallway as she drops onto the carpet.
ROGER
Adley!CAROLINE
(behind Roger)
What happened?They kneel beside ADLEY, and she breaks down.
ADLEY
(sobbing)
It’s in my room!
(points to the door)
It tried to pull me under the bed!ROGER
What did?ADLEY
(shrieks)
That thing!ROGER’S eyesbrows lift and CAROLINE gapes at ADLEY. ROGER cradles ADLEY in his arms.
ROGER
(soothing)
It’s okay, Deedee.ADLEY
(quietly)
No. It’s not okay.CAROLINE
(feels Adley’s forehead, speaks to ROGER)
She’s burning up.ADLEY
(pushes CAROLINE’S hand away)
It’s under my bed.CAROLINE
(calmly)
You have a fever, sweetheart. You must have been hallucinating.ADLEY
(louder)
No, I wasn’t.ROGER
(lays ADLEY in CAROLINE’S arms, speaks to CAROLINE)
What in the world shook her so badly?CAROLINE shakes her head. ROGER steps to the bedroom door.
ADLEY
(frightened)
No, Dad. Don’t go in there.CAROLINE
(rocking ADLEY)
Sshhh! It’s okay, honey. Honestly, you’re acting as if an alien lives under your bed.ADLEY
(hysterically)
It’s not an alien. It’s a skeleton hand. It grabbed my foot and tried to pull me under the bed!ROGER’S has a blank expression. He then shares a doubtful look with CAROLINE. He pushes the door farther open as Adley wrestles free from CAROLINE’S hold. She lunges for her father’s foot.
ADLEY
No, Dad. Stop!ROGER
(peels ADLEY’S hand off his foot)
It’s okay.ROGER motions to CAROLINE, and she pulls Adley back into her arms and keeps a firmer hold. ROGER sticks his hand inside the bedroom and switches on the light, but the room remains dark.
ROGER
The bulbs must have burned out.ADLEY
No, they didn’t.
(looks from him to her mother)
It must have broken the lights, and it only likes to come out in the dark.ADLEY sees the darkened mist around her parents, but they don’t notice it. ADLEY slumps into CAROLINE’S arms, exhausted.
-
Time’s Scary-As-Hell Scene. (Horror Day 14)
What I learned doing this assignment is . . .not sure yet. I wrote this, not really knowing where I was going, except to fill out the skeletal outline, partially in my head and partially on the page.
A. Horror Situation: Get the Haunted truck to its destination, maybe that will free them.
B. Dread to Shock.
C. 1,Dread: The Truck is renewed. Driving the infernal machine into an ambush.
2. Surprise/scare: Chaz tries to drive into IED; Truck avoids it. He keeps trying.
3. Fear: the truck throws everything into stopping them.
4. Anxiety: All are tortured. Chaz sees Amin in the tower.
5.Release: Chaz leaves the two women out.
6. Shock : Chaz gets to Mosul. The sniper shoots him.
______________________________________________________________________________
EXT – AFGHAN DESERT – DAWN
The three ragged survivors (and one baby) continue to walk toward their destiny in Mosul. The sun is coming up over rock. They are burned out as well as the truck but keep moving forward. They round a curve in the road and . . .The truck, back to it’s original condition, sits to the side of the road waiting for them. It has won and is even impervious to fire.
SIKOWSKI
NO . . .They stare at the thing in shock.
SALA
It’s dead. We burned it…CHAZ
What do I do?SALA
It wants to get to the city . . .?Chaz starts forward, then looks back.
CHAZ
Are you okay here? You can get into town . . .?They watch the truck.
SIKOWSKI (To Chaz)
You and me—we go.SALA
No, we all go. We were brought together. We have to go.They move forward.
INT – TRUCK – DAY.
The dash-cam in the truck wakes up to record the four of them climbing back into the truck.
CHAZ
Here goes.He starts the engine and starts driving.
EXT – DESERT – DAY.
The truck moves toward the outskirts of the city. Along one side of the road, the evidence of an IED crater with wreckage nearby. Chaz slows down watching. He drives onto the side of the street to see if the wheels can find another explosive.The left front wheel comes to a mound of sand by the concrete and stops.
INT – TRUCK – DAY.
Chaz takes his hands off the wheel. Without his help, the truck backs up away from the mound. The wheel twists in front of Chaz. He grabs it and tries to steer into the bomb, but the truck is determined.Chaz picks up speed trying to swerve onto the shoulder, while the truck constantly swerves back onto the road. THE ENGINE ROARS.
On the passenger side, Sikowski and Sala hold on with white knuckles.
The Man In White is suddenly there with them, covered in other’s sacrificial blood.
The dead Nazi is on Sikowski.
The man with the turban nailed to his head SCREAMS IN GHOSTLY ECHOES with them.
Cousins’ Headless body is there.
The still burning corpse Ambrose writhes in eternal pain.
The truck is riding like an earthquake.
EXT – TOWER (dream) – DAY
Abdul (sniper) scans the street below, high- powered rifle at the ready. His scope sight roams for possible targets.INT – TRUCK – DAY
CHAZ SCREAMS and slams on the brakes. Sikowski and Sala, shaking, look to Chaz.CHAZ
Get out! HURRY! Get out now!!!There is the thought to protest, but Sikowski painfully helps Sala (and the baby) from the truck.
CHAZ
It’s time . . .EXT – TRUCK – DAY
The truck peels out in the direction of a tall tower near the city center. The truck dodges traffic and pedestrians racing on.EXT – TOWER – DAY
Abdul HEARS A RACING ENGINE and resets the rifle. . .INT – TRUCK – DAY
All the entities in the vehicle are moving on Chaz steering toward the tower. They are tearing him apart as he SCREAMS and fights on, fighting them to steer the truck. Chaz is surrounded by the dead, enveloped by them, becoming one of them.EXT – TOWER – DAY
The Sniper’s scope finds an American truck driving crazily toward it. . .INT – TRUCK – DAY
Chaz is barely alive and in torment or triumph,CHAZ
FUCK YOU!The wind screen shatters AS AN EXPLOSION of a bullet cuts through Chaz’s head.
EXT – CITY – DAY.
Several citizens come running up to the vehicle that was careening through their streets. They surround it as if it were a dangerous animal that might lunge at them. The truck is empty. It is in good solid shape, for a vehicle built in the 1940’s and a veteran of so much warfare, almost pristine once again. The truck is entirely empty. It appears. . . -
Susannah’s Scary-As-Hell Scene
3. Answer the question “What I learned doing this assignment is…?” and put it at the top of your work.
What I learned doing this assignment is that it’s possible to break down a scene even more in order to get the most out of the emotional response from viewers.Create a Horror Map for your scene and then write the scene.
1. Use the Scary-As-Hell scene process to create the Horror Map.
A. Start with a Horror Situation.
The final battle. The killer is making his final advance on the remaining heroes.B. Sequence the emotions, starting with the beginning and ending emotion.
From panic to hysteria.
Panic, fear, shock, hysteria.C. Give a physical action that could cause each emotion.
Panic: The remaining heroes run from the pursuing killer.
Fear: There is nowhere left to hide or run, they need to face the killer.
Shock: The killer is revealed to be inhuman – a snake hybrid.
Hysteria: One of the heroes is killed with fire and the snake man gets closer to the last two survivors.D. Add in Scares and Releases.
Panic: The remaining heroes run from the pursuing killer.
Fear: There is nowhere left to hide or run, they need to face the killer.
Release: The sound of the approaching killer is actually the return of their friend they thought was dead.
Shock: The killer is revealed to be inhuman – a snake hybrid.
Hysteria: One of the heroes is killed with fire and the snake man gets closer to the last two survivors.2. Once you have the Horror Map, write the scene.
INT. BOATHOUSE – NIGHT
Bonnie and Magnolia run across the boathouse and look around for a way out.MAGNOLIA
There’s no way out!BONNIE
Wait. What’s that?
They both look towards the door they just entered.
The moonlight reveals a shadow stretching along the wall.
Waylon appears.MAGNOLIA
Waylon! You’re okay!WAYLON
It’ll take more than that to keep me down. Come on, let’s find a way out of this place.
Waylon moves to the end of the boathouse and starts removing boards covering an old window.
WAYLON (cont.)
We can get out through here.BONNIE
He’s here.
Behind them, the killer appears.
Waylon rips a board off the window and holds it up like a baseball bat, ready to fight.WAYLON
Get behind me.
Bonnie and Magnolia step out of the way.
WAYLON (cont.)
Take this you son of a…
He swings the board at the killer and the two engage in a battle to the death.
At one point it looks like Waylon is winning. He hits the killer in the head and knocks his mask off his head. It is revealed that the killer has snake-like eyes that almost glow in the darkened boathouse.
The killer drinks from a flask and then lights a match. He spits the liquid into the flame, setting Waylon alight. Waylon screams spins in circles, then finally falls to the floor, setting the side wall on fire.
Magnolia, screaming, finishes ripping the last planks off the window and climbs through. Bonnie follows her. -
Jessica Tremblay’s Scary-As-Hell Scene
What I learned doing this assignment is starting with horror emotions is a good technique.
Horror Situation: chased by beast in hallway, she used phone flash to blind beast
Reaction: and ends up taking weird selfies with beastSurprise: she finds her father’s phone in the locker (where he was attacked). Her birthday unlocks it.
Dread: She needs to go to another locker, walks in hallway. The beast could be anywhere.
Fear: monster arrives.
Panics: monster chases. She flees.
Suspense: will monster catch her.
Dread: Monster is close. Almost reach her.
Hysteria: she uses the phone flash to blind the beast.
Surprise: she looks at monster pic.
Monster reveal: a glimpse of its physical appearance. It’,s terrifying.
Scare: a noise!
Release: it was just a box falling.
INT. LOCKER
She enters locker 1313 (the one where her father was attacked). Closes the door. Searches frantically. Her hand meets something. A phone. She turns it on. A picture of her father and his dog. It’s her father’s phone!
She tries a four digit passwords twice. Fails
Pausess. Inserts another password.JOANNA
My birthday?It works. She sniffles.
Then, an old pic of her mother. She holds the phone to her chest. Takes a deep breath.
She looks at the other locker she needs to reach.
Opens door.HALLWAY
Walks in hallway carefully. Looking around. Listening intently. The beast could be anywhere.
And it’s right there a the end of the hallway!
It chases her. She runs.
It’s very close. Almost reach her.
She uses the phone flash to blind the beast.
It buys her some time. She entersLOCKER
She looks at pic. Catches a glimpse of the monster. Terrifying. Red eyes. Big teeth.
Hears a noise. Screams!
It was just a box falling.-
This reply was modified 1 year ago by j y.
-
This reply was modified 1 year ago by
Log in to reply.