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Lesson 9
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11 Replies
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Natalie’s Phone Pitch
WIL: It’s best to have all strategies ready, as no one knows which one may appeal to the producer, or add value to the pitch.
1. Four strategies to open my pitch:
Lead with credibility:
Aloha, I’m Natalie Melvin. I’m an optioned screenwriter with two projects in development. I have an Adventure/ Fantasy show called “Stolen Senses”. Can I tell you its concept in 30 seconds?Lead with a great title:
Same as aboveLead with a strong business hook:
“Stolen Senses” is a four-quadrant Adventure/ Fantasy show with a unique blend of Hawaiian mythology, along with other major mythologies from around the world. It offers a fresh and captivating perspective on worldwide ancient myths rarely explored in mainstream media.
This can make it a must-watch for diverse audiences of all ages and interests who appreciate immersive storytelling experiencesLead with a High Concept:
Aloha, I’m Natalie Melvin, and I have a serialized Star Wars in the Mythology World show.Short synopsis if they ask:
"Stolen Senses" is a unique blend of Hawaiian mythology, along with other major mythologies from around the world following the journey of a Hawaiian orphan teen who inherits Zeus’ power and inadvertently triggers an ancient curse thrusting the mortal and divine realms into chaos.
She must forge alliances among warring pantheons of gods to bridge mortal and divine realms before the world ends – only if she can handle the sinister force lurking behind the curse.2. Give us a one or two-sentence answer to the questions a producer may ask:
What’s the budget range?
Probably in the $$3-5 million range.Who do you see in the main roles?
Sola – Zendaya
Kama – Tony Cox
Hecate – Nicole Kidman
Anteros – Theo James
Ku – Dwayne Johnson
Hera – Elisabeth Moss
Zeus – Jason MomoaHow many pages is the script?
55Who else has seen this?
You are the first / Two more production companies before you/ etcWhy do you think this fits our company?
I like the XYZ show you worked on.How does the movie end?
Despite all warnings and eminent threats to her life, Sola decides to rectify the chaos she caused. She harnesses the forbidden power of the necklace, hurtling herself, Kama, and Anteros into the unknown mythical realm. -
Renee’s Phone Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment
1. I’m going to lead with credibility as I’m an optioned screenwriter.
2. High Concept Pitch: Hi, I’m Renee, and I’m an optioned screenwriter. I have a Supernatural Horror called 'Veil of Shadows,' about a relentless journalist whose investigation into her mother’s mysterious death draws her into the sinister world of a malevolent cult. Here, she discovers ancient horrors that threaten to merge her reality with terrifying supernatural realms. It’s a blend of investigative drama and eerie supernatural thrills.
Component of Marketability Pitch: Hi, I’m Renee, and I’m an optioned screenwriter. I’m pitching 'Veil of Shadows,' a Supernatural Horror series that captures a wide audience appeal by combining the popular genres of horror, investigative drama, and supernatural thriller. The series features a compelling lead character who’s perfect for a bankable star, exploring a dark cult’s supernatural connections, appealing to fans of horror, mysteries, and thrillers alike.
Comps Pitch: Hi, I’m Renee, and I’m an optioned screenwriter. I have a Supernatural Horror called Veil of Shadows. It’s about a journalist uncovering her mother’s dark past within a terrifying cult. Imagine True Detective’s gritty investigation meets the supernatural intrigue of Stranger Things and Chilling Adventures of Sabrina. This series blends deep character exploration with thrilling supernatural elements, perfect for today’s audience.
3. Budget Range: $16 – $24 million per season.
4. Actors for main roles: Veronica – Tatiana Maslany from Orphan Black
Samuel – Daniel Kaluuya from Get Out and Black Mirror
Father Malachi – Ian McShane from American’s Gods and Deadwood
Dr. Isabella Stone – Tandie Newton from Westworld and Line of Duty5. How Many Pages – 58
6. Who else has seen this? – No one
7. Why do you think this fits our company – I came to your company because I loved the show (title) that you produced.
8. How does it end?
The pilot ends with Veronica, Father Malachi, and Dr. Isabella Stone bringing a battered and bruised Samuel into the house with more questions.The series ends with Veronica defeating Aeloria, but Veronica is fatally wounded. In a surprising twist, Samuel uses his remaining power to reverse time briefly, allowing him to sacrifice himself instead of Veronica.
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Jerry Robbins Phone Pitch
What I learned from this lesson is that with all the similarities, I'm not going to know what to say unless I have it all written down. Everything is getting mixed up into a jumble now. I cannot remember things no matter how much time I have spent memorizing it. This has been true since I was a child.High Concept Hook:
Hi, this is Jerry Robbins, a produced writer.
I have a science fiction series called Robob Revolution. Imagine Westworld meets Battlestar Galactica, but with a twist: robots with human brains fight for rights, while humans are also integrating with AI.
It's a timely exploration of AI's impact on society with high-stakes action and complex characters.
Component of Marketability Hook:
Hi, this is Jerry Robbins, a produced writer.
I have a science fiction series called Robob Revolution with a unique twist that taps into a hot trend.
It explores a future where robots with human brains fight for rights, but there's a second layer – humans are also merging with AI. This creates a fresh perspective on the conflict and moral dilemmas.
Think Westworld meets Battlestar Galactica, but with the added intrigue of human-AI integration.
Comps Hook:
Hi, this is Jerry Robbins, a produced writer.
I have a science fiction series called Robob Revolution that fans of Westworld and Battlestar Galactica will love.
Imagine robots with human brains demanding equal rights, while humans grapple with merging with AI. It's a thought-provoking exploration of the future with action and complex characters.
This series offers a fresh take on AI and its impact on humanity.
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This reply was modified 1 year ago by Jerry Robbins.
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This reply was modified 1 year ago by Jerry Robbins.
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This reply was modified 1 year ago by Jerry Robbins.
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Phyllis’ Phone Pitch
I learned from this lesson that AI was really good at coming up with phone pitches.
1. I will probably lead off with credibility.
2. AI came up with 3 good scripts:
High Concept Lead: Hi, this is Phyllis Strong, WGA produced television writer specializing in science fiction. I have a grounded sci-fi series called “The Price of Youth.” It follows four elderly test subjects who transfer their minds into young brain-dead hosts. It’s like Black Mirror, but more personal and intimate.
Component of Marketability Lead: Hi, Phyllis Strong here, known for my work in sci-fi. I’m pitching “The Price of Youth,” a grounded sci-fi series. What sets it apart is its uniqueness and timeliness. We explore the concept of elderly individuals transferring their minds into young bodies. It’s fresh and relevant for today’s audience.
Comps Lead: Hi, it’s Phyllis Strong. I’ve got a captivating grounded sci-fi project called “The Price of Youth.” Picture Black Mirror, but with a more personal touch. We follow four elderly characters as they navigate the complexities of inhabiting young bodies. It’s thought-provoking and deeply engaging.
3. Answers for Producer QuestionsBudget range of $2M-5M per episode
Peter: Henry Golding (Crazy Rich Asians); Diana: Kylie Bunbury (When They See Us, Game Night); Mark: Nicholas Hoult (The Great); Suzanne: Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl) or Katie Cassidy (Arrow).
55 pages
No one, or you’re in the first round of producers I’m contacting.
You’ve done great genre work, like _____
The pilot ends with Mark, having been betrayed by Peter and needing new support for his senate run, agrees to be a mole for the military that is vying for this tech.-
This reply was modified 1 year ago by Phyllis Strong.
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Jeffrey Alan Chase’s Phone Pitch
What I learned doing this assignment is that a great phone pitch should be quick and easy to deliver. Get the most bang for my buck in the short time I have.
I will lead off my pitch with my high concept: What would you do if you discovered a backpack that had the power to save souls?
What’s the budget range?
$5,000,000 – 10,000,000 for the pilot.Who do you see in the main roles?
Jonah: Henry Cavill
James: Caleb McLaughlin
James: the next Will Smith
Katherine: Natalie Portman
Gino: Joe MantegnaHow many pages is the script?
60Who else has seen this?
Two small production companies.Why do you think this fits our company?
You have produced several successful projects in similar genres.How does the movie end?
The pilot ends with the protagonist visited by an angel who informs him that his mission, after all he’s been through in the pilot, is just beginning and that, “a war is coming”.Pitch Version 1: Leading with High Concept
Hi, this is Jeffrey Alan Chase and I’ve won several screenwriting contests and am a SAG actor.
I have a Christian Thriller called The Backpack and it is about a homeless veteran who finds a battered backpack, leading to a spiritual journey where the supernatural contents alter his destiny and the lives of people in crisis he encounters.
It’s like The Fugitive meets Touched by an Angel.Pitch Version 2: Leading with Component of Marketability
Hi, this is Jeffrey Alan Chase and I’ve won several screenwriting contests and am a SAG actor.
I have a Christian Thriller called The Backpack. It's about people returning to God during the End Times, showcasing Satan’s influence on world events through the eyes of a homeless veteran whose life changes after finding a mysterious, supernatural backpack.
It’s like The Fugitive meets Touched by an Angel.Pitch Version 3: Leading with Comps
Hi, this is Jeffrey Alan Chase and I’ve won several screenwriting contests and am a SAG actor.
I have a Christian Thriller called The Backpack.
Imagine The Fugitive meets Touched by an Angel – a homeless veteran finds a battered backpack, and the supernatural contents take him on a spiritual journey, altering his destiny and the lives of those in crisis he encounters.-
This reply was modified 1 year ago by Jeff Chase.
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Sunil Pappu’s Phone Pitch
“What I learned from this lesson is…to create a concise 30-second phone pitch to sell my project.”
Phone pitch Strategy: Lead with credibility.
PHONE PITCH # 1:
Hi, this is Sunil Pappu, an award-winning screenwriter with paid writing assignments specializing in female-led thrillers. I have a one-hour heist thriller called Hawala Ledger. This series offers a unique twist—a heist that can save global finance as we know it. It follows a math prodigy who joins a team to steal a ledger holding an ancient algorithm from the powerful secret society backing the Hawala network. Think Money Heist meets Mr. Robot.
PHONE PITCH # 2:
Hi, this is Sunil Pappu, an award-winning screenwriter with paid writing assignments specializing in female-led thrillers. I have a one-hour heist thriller called Hawala Ledger, which uniquely explores the Hawala network—a household name in India linked to the underworld, scams, and terror financing. This network holds ancient secrets of wealth and power passed down through generations. It's like Money Heist meets Mr. Robot.
PHONE PITCH # 3:
Hi, this is Sunil Pappu, an award-winning screenwriter with paid writing assignments specializing in female-led thrillers. I have a one-hour heist thriller called Hawala Ledger. In a time when digital payment apps are in vogue and crypto is at risk, our series delves into the still-successful and underexplored world of Hawala—a banking system that runs the underworld. It's about a math prodigy joining a heist team to steal a ledger containing an ancient algorithm that runs global finance. It's like Money Heist meets Mr. Robot.
QUESTIONS:
• What is the budget range?
Mid-range about $15 – 20 million• Who do you see in the main roles?
The role of Priya, the math genius, is a great role for an Indian actor like Shruti Haasan, maybe Reba Monica John known for her 2019 performance in Tamil film BIGIL or Amrit Kaur known for her role as Bela Malhotra in The Sex Lives of College Girls.
And the role of Arjun the ex-RAW agent and heist leader, could be played by someone like Lakshya whose upcoming movie KILL is billed as the most violent action thriller ever on Indian screens or Suraj Sharma known for his breakout role in Life of Pi.
Other roles of the heist team can be played by international actors who are mostly Asian or AAPI (Asian American Pacific Islanders).
Meera – Pashmina Roshan or Maitreyi Ramakrishnan as the sassy hacker
Mandeep – Kartik Aaryan or Kunal Nayyar as the Shadow
Sofia – Paulina Andreeva or Courtney Eaton as the Chameleon
Lina – Michelle Yeoh or Constance Wu as the Oracle
Raghav – Adarsh Gourav or Riz Ahmed as the eccentric Hyena
Harsh – Ahan Shetty or Sendhil Ramamurthy as the Hawala Enforcer• How many pages is the script?
56 pages (pilot)• Who else has seen this?
I’m coming to you before I take it out to the market.• Why do you think this fits our company?
You have done thriller series with a unique twist.• How does the pilot/season end?
Pilot Cliffhanger – Priya unlocks a secret vault behind her father’s bookshelf which has the same symbol as the one on the ledger – that belongs to an ancient secret society that controls global wealth and power. At the secret society headquarters, Priya is being watched and her father is still alive!• Season Cliffhanger: They obtain a ledger, but it's only part of a larger puzzle. Priya's father is arrested, and her loyalty is questioned. The crew must decide their next move.
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This reply was modified 1 year ago by Sunil Pappu.
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This reply was modified 1 year ago by
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What I learned doing this assignment? Having a structure for a phone conversation is a big help.
Lead with high concept:Hi, this is Art Blum, and I’m a member of the Writer's Guild. I have a sci-fi magical realism pilot called GO YOUR WAY IN SAFETY. In a world where psychic children are exploited, a teenage outcast must confront his haunted past and embrace his power to channel spirits when a sinister government agency’s experiment threatens humanity's fate. GO YOUR WAY IN SAFETY won at Script Summit and was a Finalist or Semifinalist at 7 other contests.
Version 2 (Component of Marketability):
Hi, this is Art Blum, and I’m a member of the Writer's Guild. I have a sci-fi magical realism pilot called GO YOUR WAY IN SAFETY. It’s a gripping series that taps into our collective fascination with the unknown and the lengths people will go to uncover the truth. With its timely themes of exploitation and the cost of progress, it has the potential of attracting the youth market.
Version 3 (Comps):
Hi, this is Art Blum, and I’m a member of the Writer’s Guild. I have a sci-fi magical realism pilot called GO YOUR WAY IN SAFETY. It combines the eerie, supernatural elements of Stranger Things; with the government conspiracy and alien mystery of The X-Files; GO YOUR WAY IN SAFETY won at Script Summit and was a Finalist or Semifinalist at 7 other contests, showcasing its potential for success.
Budget Range:
Mid to high-budget, given the need for high-quality visual effects and a talented ensemble cast.
Potential Lead Actors:
Ian Foreman as Ryan Gordon
Shree Crooks as Indigo Rivers
And Cate Blanchett as Dr. Roberta Blaine.Number of Pages: 60
Who else has seen this? Nobody.
How does the pilot end. No good deed goes unpunished. Ryan saves a kid about to eat a peanut laced candy bar which he’s deathly allergic to. A fellow student records the exchanges and sends it out to the world. It’s picked up by Hermes and now they know Ryan’s location.
The series ends with Ryan leading all these kids away from Hermes where they were held captive. The kids wind up being surrounded by an army of Hermes’ soldiers. Ryan with the help of his spiritual mentor, Jimmy, figures out a way to overcome all odds and leads the group to safety. -
Bob Creager’s Phone Pitch
What I learned: After doing the other pitch formats, this was fairly easy. I feel more confident in my ability to make a successful phone pitch. We’ll see.
1. Lead with high concept2. Hi, I’m Bob Creager and I have a female special operations science fiction pilot.
3. Questions producers might ask:
What’s the budget range? Low budget $1 – $5 millionWho do you see in the main roles?
For HM1 Leisa Hunter, USN, 30:Amber Midthunder (Legion, Prey)
Janina Gavankar (True Blood, The Morning Show)
Tati Gabrielle (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Uncharted)For LT Sergio Diaz, USN, 30:
Manny Montana (Good Girls, Ozark)
Diego Tinoco, 1997 (On My Block, Family Guy)
Mauricio Ochmann, 1977 (A la mala, El Chema)For Maj Lani "Sky Queen" Baal, USMC, ret., 30:
Niamh Wilson, 1997 (The Captors, Raised by Wolves)
Claudia Kim, 1985 (Avengers: Age of Ultron, The Dark Tower)
Cara Gee, 1983, (The Expanse, Red Rover)For GySgt William "Bird Dog" Roscoe, USMC, ret. Upper 40s:
Juan Pablo Raba, 1977 (Six, Narcos)
Michael Ealy (Born 1973) – Known for roles in "Barbershop", "Think Like a Man"
Lance Gross (Born 1981) – Appeared in "House of Payne", "Crisis"
Dulé Hill (Born 1975) – Starred in "Psych", "The West Wing"For the role of MC(SO) Constantine "Connie" Gazis, USN, ret. (Greek, upper 40s):
Zach Galifianakis (Born 1979) – Best known for "The Hangover" movies,
Constantine Maroulis (Born 1975) – Greek-American actor/singer, was in "Rock of Ages"How many pages is the script? 58 pages
Who else has seen this? You are the first.
Why do you think this fits our company? You have had success with similar projects.
How does the movie end? The pilot ends with the reveal that her brother has been abducted by the malevolent aliens.
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This reply was modified 1 year ago by Bob Creager.
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Lenore Bechtel’s Phone Pitch
What I learned from this assignment is the different openings a phone pitch can have. I chose marketability, which I consider a strong business hook.
My Pitch
Hi, this is Lenore Bechtel, a multi-produced playwright who managed a hypnosis office for seven years.
I have a one-hour contained comedy series called Hypnotized by Hope. It’s a unique take because a TV series about hypnosis has never been done before.
The subject has broad appeal, evidenced by hypnotists being favorites at high schools and state fairs.
The concept involves Lilly who juggles facilitating Hypnotist Joshua Hope’s zany antics while hiding them to promote his fame.
Can she keep a scandal reporter from exposing Joshua’s bizarre treatments long enough for the book she’s ghosting for him to become a best seller?
I think the contained series can be produced with less than $1 million.
The pilot is 68 quick-reading pages. It ends with Joshua on stage at the Karma Klub admitting he set up Tyrell for a failed safecracking attempt—the cliffhanger for Episode 2.
This series is right for your company because it’s comedic like (one the company produced).
The season ends with Joshua still on a book tour that put the book on the best seller list, making Lilly happy. But his hiring from afar another beautiful bimbo makes her irate. She’s ready to quit her job until dozens of calls start coming in for her.
How could she leave a guy who gave her all the credit for the book and announced on national television that “Everyone needs a Lilly”? No! She’ll stick around and be sure the time traveler who drops by every day gets Joshua’s first appointment when he returns, and his ghost-driven sister gets the second.
Lilly herself is Hypnotized by Hope—a series like both House meets Shrinking, and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel meets Arrested Development—all shows with dynamic, eccentric characters and a hilarious exploration of professional and personal chaos.
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Margaret’s Phone pitch
What I learned: A.I. prompt to help create phone pitches.
• Lead with credibility: Hi, I’m Margaret Silebi and I am an optioned screenwriter.”
• Lead with a great title. I have a 1 hr TV pilot called, “Echoes of Masada”
• Permission to Pitch: “Hi, I’m Margaret Silebi, and I’m wondering if I could run a quick pitch by you?
• What’s the budget range: 5-10 million
• Who do you see in the main roles? Richard Madden or Chris Pratt, who can play the part from broken man to reluctant prophet and leader.
• How many pages is the script? 53
• Who else has seen this? No one
• Why do you think this fits our company? Faith-based TV series
• How does the movie end? Jack realizing that the tribe is headed for mass suicide unless he can rewrite history. -
Denice’s Phone Pitch
What I Iearned doing this assignment is how many divisions there are to production companies.
High Concept.: Can a spoiled, insecure teen become the savior of the dream world and humanity as the first female Dreamweaver?
Hi, I’m Denice Hughes Lewis. I have a fantasy television series called Dreambound.
Hi, I’m Denice Hughes Lewis and I’m an award-winning screenwriter and published author specializing in Fantasy,
Budget range is from 10-30 million. The dream sequences veer from the ordinary to fantastic. The protagonist also attends a rural school.
Main Roles are for actors playing sixteen to over sixty-year-olds with diverse characters. Some actors would be like Kyla Kenedy, Jack Champion, Michael Fassbender, Elizabeth Olsen, Denzel Washington, Native American actresses like Shari Forster, Georgina Lighting
53 Pages
No one has seen the script.
Why it fits with our company? MGM There is a great market for teen fantasy series as proven by the success of your fantasy series, Wednesday.
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