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Lesson 4
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30 Replies
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Subject: Monica’s New Outline Beats!
VISION: I am a very successful screenwriter who has had multiple movies made.
What I learned from doing this assignment is it allowed me to ask the questions necessary to get a great outline. I felt I was missing something the way it came out in Lesson 3.
Start at the beginning of the outline, and move through it to see if there are any obvious missing beats. If so, add them. If you think of any new additions as you look for missing beats, this is also a good time to add them.
BEGIN OUTLINE
ACT 1: Emily decides to commit suicide but doesn’t die.
OPENING
Emily PJ 1: Emily’s drinking problem. Sitting at her computer typing and drinking. Going to work hungover again.
Emily PJ 2: It’s Christmas Eve. Emily comes home from work. Opens her mail to another rejection letter. Loses control.
Throws things around. Destroys things. Gets out a bottle of vodka and a bottle of painkillers. Sits down and starts to drink. Pens a suicide note to her brother.INCITING INCIDENT
Emily PJ 3: Instead of dying, she has a near-death experience.
Emily PJ 4: In the After-Life she meets God who shows her a mysterious library filled with ancient typewriters and books. This is God’s library and Emily has been chosen to re-ignite spirituality on Earth through her writing.
TURNING POINT
Emily PJ 5: Emily wakes up in the hospital. Her distraught brother is by her side.
Brother CC1: He takes her home. Gives her a puppy to help her recover.
Emily PJ 6: Starts experiencing visions.
Donahue AJ 1: Introduces himself to Emily in one of the visions. Says he is sent by God to assist her with her writing.
ACT 2: Emily explores the library and meets the forgotten souls of writers.
NEW PLAN
Donahue AJ 2: Presents Emily with an outline to write a story.
Azazel CC 1: Introduces himself to Emily and tells her he’s here to help her.
Emily PJ 7: Emily writes the story even though she has doubts fueled by Azazel.
Emily PJ 8: Emily explores the library and meets the forgotten souls of writers and their characters. Feels a sense of belonging. And, someone else – the True Guardian of the Library. She begins to recover repressed memories and uncovers the true nature of her task- to free the true guardian. Hinting at the hidden realities of the library.
PLAN IN ACTION
Emily PJ 9: She delves deeper into her writing but faces doubts about her abilities and the true intentions of Donahue and Azazel. Goes in search of Donahue and Azazel in the library.
Donahue AJ 3/Azazel CC 2: In the Library looking at a huge book of spells. Discuss how the spell they found could mold Emily to their will.
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT:
Emily PJ 10: Emily struggles with the task and grapples with doubts, torn between fulfilling Donahue's instructions and the temptations offered by Azazel.
Emily PJ 12: Emily discovers the dream archive which also reveals her past lives and the true implications of her writing. Emily starts to piece together her divine lineage and her brother’s secret role in protecting her. Finds a way to subvert Donahue and Azazel.
ACT 3: RE-THINK EVERYTHING
Emily PJ 13: Emily faces increasing pressure from Donahue and realizes the dangerous price of unlocking the library's secrets – she cannot tell a living being about the library otherwise she will lose her life. Discovering the true Guardian of the library is imprisoned in the library.
Emily PJ 14: She confronts Azazel.
Azazel CC 3: Makes sexual overtures to Emily.
Emily PJ 15: Emily rejects Azazel.
Azazel CC 4: Grabs her puppy and starts to kill it.
Emily PJ 16: Finds her voice and wounds Azazel – saving her puppy.
Donahue AJ 4: Donahue appears. Finds Azazel on the floor. Donahue demands to know what happened.
Emily PJ 17: Emily tells Donahue. Gives a demonstration of what her voice and therefore her power, can do.
Donahue AJ 5: Leaves with Azazel. Decides Emily is too dangerous and must be eliminated.
NEW PLAN
Emily PJ 18: Emily visits the library and is shown its magic. And a way to outwit both Donahue and Azazel. Tells the imprisoned guardian she has found a way to release him. But first, she must get rid of Donahue and Azazel.
Azazel CC 5: Azazel subverts Emily's written piece, twisting its message to serve his own agenda and sow chaos among humanity – sending the seven signs of the end of the world from Revelation to all four corners of the planet.
TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE/MAJOR SHIFT:
Emily PJ 19: Emily is devastated but instead of letting it crush her, she resolves to beat them at their own game.
Emily PJ 20: Confronts Azazel. Destroys him by sending him into a nightmare.
Emily PJ 21: Writes a piece saying the seven signs from Revelation was a new CGI being tested by Hollywood.
Donahue AJ 6: Confronts Emily.
Emily PJ 22: Tells Donahue she destroyed Azazel. Calmed the people of Earth. And she’s going to destroy him the same way she destroyed Azazel. And release the real guardian.
Donahue AJ 7: Donahue reveals that he was doing the real guardian a favour by imprisoning him – because he loves him.
Act 4: THE CLIMAX INVOLVES EMILY USING HER NEWFOUND POWERS TO WRITE A STORY THAT CHANGES REALITY.
CLIMAX/ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT
EMILY PJ 22: Emily confronts Donahue about his lies. Uses her storytelling abilities to protect the dream archive and humanity.
EMILY PJ 23: Emily writes the best story of her life based on a dream she found in the archives.
Donahue AJ 7: In a climatic showdown, Donahue tries to subvert her story but fails as Emily’s determination and newfound powers prove too strong.
RESOLUTION
EMILY PJ 24: Emily emerges victorious but changed, having embraced her role as a storyteller and found purpose in her writing. She releases the true guardian.
God CC 2: God visits Emily and thanks her for her service. Gives her a hug and a kiss to continue writing, tipping the scales in favour of the Divine.
Emily PJ 25: Emily continues her journey with newfound determination and understanding, ready to face future challenges.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by Monica Arisman. Reason: Formatting
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Hi Monica,
Great start. I’m looking forward to seeing how you fill out this screenplay outline.
LJ-
This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by LJ (Lawrence John) Seliski.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by
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This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by
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LJ’s New Outline Beats!
My vision is to write incredible high-concept screenplays that are made into popular, financially successful movies.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how enjoyable it was to use the three processes to plot my screenplays outline beats.
Genre: Sci-Fi
Concept: An eighteen-year-old woman who was abused as a foster child rescues a gifted, exiled alien twelve-year-old Princess, and agrees to help her avoid capture by the Princess’s twenty-four-year-old identical twin sister, an adversary who wants to misuse the Princess’s gift and is involved in a conspiracy that threatens both humanity and alien kind.THE ESSENCE OF DEFIANT ALLIES
Concept: The essence of the concept is the promise of a story that delves into the complexities of trust, betrayal, and the quest for justice in a dystopian setting. It encapsulates the idea of two unlikely allies, Mia and Ariael, joining forces against a common enemy while navigating their own personal demons.
Character: Mia Vance embodies resilience and survival, grappling with moral dilemmas as she confronts her past and learns to trust others. Ariael represents the struggle with identity and the burden of leadership, seeking acceptance and redemption amidst exile. Zarael, the antagonist, is driven by a tragic past and a desire for power, grappling with inner conflict as she pursues her vendetta against Ariael.
Scene/Situation: Each scene and situation must contribute to fulfilling the promise of the concept. They should delve into the essence of trust, betrayal, and the fight against tyranny, driving the narrative forward while revealing deeper layers of the characters’ struggles.
Essence: The essence of this story lies in its exploration of identity, trust, and the fight against oppression. It’s about characters grappling with their pasts, forging unlikely alliances, and confronting their inner demons amidst a backdrop of political intrigue and moral ambiguity.
To capture the essence effectively, each element of the story must be aligned with the central themes and purpose of the narrative. This requires a deep understanding of the characters, their motivations, and the world they inhabit, ensuring that every scene serves to advance the overarching story and resonate with the audience on a profound level.Act 1: Set Up and See Old Ways
Opening:
PJ: Mia Vance is introduced as a street-smart, independent eighteen-year-old with a troubled past in foster care. She exhibits her survival instincts and deep-seated trust issues, shown through her guarded interactions and tendency to protect others while hiding her own pain.Having aged out at a foster care home, Mia searches for a job so she can earn enough money to eat and have a place to live. Due to the common use of robots on Earth she’s unsuccessful at doing so.
AJ: Zarael is introduced as the ambitious, power-hungry twin sister of Ariael, displaying her cunning and manipulative nature as she schemes to regain favor and power. Her goal is to capture Ariael and use her powers to further her own ambitions.
Zarael and her helpers attempt to apprehend Ariael and get her in a hover van, but Mia interrupts them, fights with them, and frees Ariael.
Zarael is very upset by the fact that Ariael appears to have allies who are helping her
PJ: Mia encounters Ariael, a mysterious twelve-year-old girl who reveals herself as an exiled princess. Ariael seeks Mia’s help to avoid capture by Zarael.
Ariael takes Mia to an eating place. Mia is rejected when she applies for the short-order cook position.
Ariael tells Mia that she’s a princess who has been exiled from her country and that there is a country woman of hers who Ariael caused to be exiled that is seeking revenge on Ariael and had Ariael security detail killed
Mia agrees to be hired by Ariael as her assistant and both of them decide that Mia’s former foster home is the safest place for them to live
Inciting Incident:
After seeing how Gina West, the foster home owner, treats the resident girls, Ariael uses her gift for the first time when Gina invades Ariael’s private bathAriael purchases the foster home from Gina and has it put in Brad West’s name. The now-rich Gina moves out
AJ: Zarael begins her pursuit of Ariael, viewing her as a direct threat to her plans for dominance.
Zarael and Tyrell Dugan, a corrupt Earth politician, discuss the importance of the capture of Ariael to both of their plans to control their countries
Turning Point:
PJ: Mia reluctantly agrees to help Ariael, setting the stage for their journey together. This decision marks a point of no return, locking Mia into the conflict.After Ariael’s gift helps them avoid capture, Ariael tells Mia she’s an alien princess and tells Mia about her gift.
In order to prove to Mia she is who she says she is, Ariael takes Mia through an energy vortex to her planet and introduces Mia to some of her hidden allies
Mia decides to trust Ariael and fight with her after they return back to Earth
AJ: Zarael escalates her efforts to capture Ariael, demonstrating her ruthless determination.
Tyrell desires and needs Zarael’s help with his plans, so he tells Zarael he will contact his many allies and followers and have them keep a lookout for Ariael at financial institutions as they realize she will probably need to obtain finances in order to remain hidden
Act 2: Challenge the Old Ways
Reaction:
PJ: Mia and Ariael navigate a world where their old ways of survival clash with new alliances.
Mia’s trust issues and Ariael’s royal burdens create tensionAs Ariael runs out of money and is unable to pay Mia’s daily salary, Mia believes she can’t trust Ariael to provide Mia with a livelihood and threatens to quit working for Ariael and try to find a paying job
Ariael promises that she can pay Mia but needs to go to her bank to get money but they’re trying to avoid being seen in order to prevent Ariael from being captured. Ariael complains that Mia doesn’t realize how much Ariael is dealing with and how much responsibility she has not only to Mia but also the people on her planet
AJ: Zarael’s initial attempts to capture Ariael are thwarted, forcing her to reassess her approach.
As Zarael has a split personality, she drives herself crazy wanting to seek revenge on Ariael one moment, and the next she bemoans her thoughts about hurting her twin and the loss of their relationship
The Plan:
PJ: Mia and Ariael’s initial attempts to evade Zarael fail, forcing them to adapt and find new strategies.Ariael transforms herself into a baby, and Mia into her nanny in order for Ariael to safely get into her financial institution and obtain more funds to pay Mia and for other expenses
They were successful and undetected during their trip for Ariael to obtain more funds
While they are at Mia’s financial institution they overhear Dugan’s lives speaking about the unconventional and eerie agreement between Tyrell Dugan and Zarael
AJ: Zarael employs various tactics, from bribery to intimidation, to capture Ariael, but each attempt fails.
Zarael is upset that she doesn’t have the use of technology from her planet nor the funds to assist her in finding Ariael.
Midpoint:
PJ: Mia and Ariael uncover a labyrinthine conspiracy involving Zarael. They realize the forces against them are far greater than they initially imagined, shifting their understanding and deepening the stakes.Realizing what they’re up against, Ariael tells Mia that Zarael is her twin sister and if Zarael captures her they will probably end up back on their home planet
Ariael provides Mia with a device to create an energy vortex to Ariael’s home planet in an emergency.
Because the two of them have become very good friends, Mia agrees to try and save Ariael if that happens
AJ: Zarael realizes the true extent of the threat posed by Ariael’s escape.
Zarael realizes that if he doesn’t capture Ariael, she might find some way to have Zarael arrested and imprisoned on Earth
Therefore, although initially hesitant to harm Aerial, Zarael tells Tyrell that Tyrell’s supporters should kill Ariael instead of capturing her when they find her
Act 3: Profound Moments that Give Us New Ways
Rethink:
PJ: Mia and Ariael undergo transformations, realizing that their old ways won’t suffice. Mia confronts her trust issues, and Ariael embraces her true identity.Mia realizes how good and helpful Ariael has been to Mia, and the girls and Brett at the foster home, and acknowledges that she now likes and trusts Ariael
Ariael accepts the fact and responsibility that she has not only to Mia and the residence of the foster home, and that she has a responsibility to return to her home planet in order to be an excellent princess and eventually the Queen for the residents
AJ: Zarael realizes her previous methods won’t work, prompting her to devise a new, more ruthless plan.
Zarael conspires with Tyrell to obtain planet destroying device so she can destroy Ariael and her home planet
New Plan:
PJ: Mia and Ariael devise a new plan to confront Zarael and unravel the conspiracy. They enlist unexpected allies and embrace their roles in shaping the outcome.Ariael uses her gift to change a reluctant Mia so she looks exactly like Zarael.
The transformed Mia records Tyrell discussing his plans to provide Zarael with the planet destroying device and for Tyrell to take over his country using violence if necessary
AJ: Zarael enacts her new plan, leveraging her connections and resources to track down Ariael and crush any opposition.
Zarael tells Tyrell that he would rather have Ariael captured instead of killed in order to really experience suffering and grief when their home planet is destroyed
Turning Point:
PJ: Mia and Ariael face betrayal and setbacks, testing their resolve to the breaking point.Gina, the former foster home owner reveals to Tyrell and Zarael that Ariael is living at the foster home
Ariael is captured by Zarael and her agents at the foster home and taken back to their home world.
AJ: Zarael faces a setback as her allies betray her, leading to a moment of desperation and reckoning.
Mia releases the recording of Tyrell and Zarael’s plans to the media and Tyrell is arrested.
This results in Zarael returning to her own planet so she’s not arrested. She only relies upon herself and her allies to take Ariael through an energy vortex back to Zarael and Ariael’s planet
Act 4: Test the Change in this Character! Prove New Ways!
Climax:
PJ: Mia and Ariael confront Zarael in a final showdown, facing their deepest fears and challenges head-on. Their unity and newfound resolve are put to the ultimate test.Mia uses the energy vortex and coordinates with Ariael’s allies on her planet to try to rescue Ariael from Zarael and her allies
AJ: Zarael confronts Ariael and Mia in a final showdown, where she must confront her own flaws and vulnerabilities.
Zarael threatens to kill Ariael if anyone attacks the hideout and if she is not made Queen of the world
Mia uses teargas made by Brett to incapacitate Zarael and her allies, and to free Ariael
Resolution:
AJ: Zarael’s world is forever changed as she realizes the cost of her obsession with power and control, setting the stage for her potential redemption or further descent into darkness.Zarael is mentally devastated and incoherent as a result of not succeeding with her plans. Ariael lovingly and considerately places Zarael in a psychiatric care home
PJ: Mia and Ariael emerge victorious, their defiant alliance proving that courage and compassion can triumph over tyranny. Mia finds strength in vulnerability, overcoming her past traumas. Ariael leads her people into a new era of peace and prosperity.
Because of everything they have gone through together, Mia and Ariael are friends for life and Mia is Queen Ariael’s trusted companion
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WIM+AI – Module 4 – Lesson 4
Robin’s Basic PlottingMY VISION: I aim to make my writing flow naturally, like second nature, crafting stories that resonate globally and leave a mark, backed by a supportive team who really get what I'm about.
Today, I this method 100% enhances the outline and elevates it to a new level of greatness.
BEGINNING TO ENDING
Veronica's Dual Identity and Family Twist
New Scene Addition: Veronica Blackwood is a high-ranking politician or government official by day, using her influence to mask her ties to the Dominion Syndicate.
Family Revelations
Scene 10: Veronica inspects the lab, subtly hinting at her deeper involvement and dual identity.
Scene 5: Jake and Maya bond, and Maya starts to piece together the truth about the family connections but keeps it hidden from Jake for now.
New Climax Elements
Climax – Part 1: Scene 3: During the confrontation, Veronica reveals information about Jake’s past, hinting at their family connection.
Climax – Part 2: Scene 6: Jake and his team turn the tables on Veronica’s enforcers with the help of Maya, who has discovered the family ties.
Final Reveal
End of Climax: Scene 10: During Jake's final confrontation with Veronica, it's revealed that Joe is their father, adding emotional depth to their conflict.FROM ENDING TO BEGINNING
Enhanced Cause-Effect Chain: Each event now directly leads to the next, ensuring a cohesive narrative.
Stronger Foreshadowing: Key plot points and character motivations are better foreshadowed to enhance suspense.
Deeper Character Arcs: Jake’s struggle with addiction and his journey towards redemption are more thoroughly explored.
Intensified Stakes: The stakes are heightened at each stage, making the climax more impactful.
Emotional and Thematic Consistency: The themes of redemption, struggle, and hope are consistently reinforced throughout the story.
PICK ANY MAJOR EVENT AND GO BOTH WAYS
Expanded Evidence Gathering:
Added scenes of investigation, informant recruitment, and technological hacking to support the midpoint discovery.
Heightened Tension and Conflict:
Developed scenes showing the Syndicate’s increased aggression, internal team conflict, and personal risks for the team members.
Strategic Shift and Personal Sacrifices:
Showed the team’s strategic shift towards direct action against the Syndicate and the personal sacrifices required.
Increased Momentum:
Built momentum with escalating conflicts leading to the climax, ensuring a cohesive and compelling narrative.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by Robin Fellows.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by
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Sunil Pappu’s New Outline Beats!
My Vision: I’m a successful produced writer who specializes in female-led thrillers.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is… to use the three processes to fill in the holes in my plot by asking the question.”
My Outline:
THE SINKING LINE BEAT SHEET: (with basic plotting)
Act 1: Old Ways – Skepticism and Independence
• Opening: A failed spy mission by Ria puts her on the backburner at RAW. Ria Sarkar is introduced as a skilled but emotionally scarred radio operator by her childhood trauma that deepened her fear of water and closed spaces, overshadowed by her father's dishonor. She works in the shadows of R&AW, defined by her father's alleged betrayal.
• Event: Failed Spy mission: Ria falls off a boat into the river as her team makes a getaway and starts to drown… she recalls her childhood trauma… gets pulled out of the water by a fishing boat and revived. She wakes up to find that her pendrive missing… dropped into the river.
• Event: Radio operator: Ria works in a dingy back office listening to tapped conversations between Pakistani officials – The President indefinitely postpones National Assembly session causing civil disobedience in East Pakistan.
• Ria’s colleagues – talk about a possible war with Pakistan brings up the Indo pak war of 65 in hushed tones. Her father’s failure put the bureau and RAW head’s chances of leading missions during the upcoming war at risk.
• Surface Layer 3: Ria’s father was dishonourably discharged from duty
• Deeper Layer 3: Secy. Varma blamed his failure due to misinformation on Ria’s father who served honorably to save the mission.
• Event: Pakistani Army occupies East Pakistan; Mujibur Rehman Awami League leader delivers public speech in Dhaka calling for national independence, Pakistan Army starts Operation Searchlight in East Pakistan on March 25 1971 at midnight.
• VS Beginning: A Pakistan Naval Officer is disillusioned with the government red tape but is reluctant to disobey orders while his East Pakistan crew abandon the ship in French waters to secretly join the rebel forces in East India.
• VS Inciting Incident: Reveals his true ideological beliefs to his Pakistani Admiral who wants him to infiltrate the rebels and join them.
• VS Turning Point 1: Calls home in East Pakistan to find out that his sister was killed in a protest march by the rebel forces in their retaliation against the Pakistani military.
• AV Beginning: Varma begins as a stoic and strategic leader, burdened by past failures and the need for redemption.
• Inciting Incident: She's selected for a high-risk operation to tap into Pakistan's naval communications off the eastern coast, presenting a chance at redemption and proving her competence in a male-dominated field. Fellow agents believe it’s a punishment posting – an impossible mission that’s guaranteed to fail.
• Surface Layer 1: Ria’s mission is to intercept messages to help the rebel divers locate and disrupt the supply lines of the Pakistani military to East Pakistan.
• Deeper Layer 1: Ria’s secret mission is actually to plant false intelligence to expose the traitor in the crew
• VS Act 2: Takes credit for the bravery of his crew to make the crossing to India and is given charge for the rebel crew mission to sabotage Pakistani Naval ships and create a blockade of the supply lines for their entry to East Pakistan.
• Surface Layer 2: Cdr. Vikram is loyal to his rebel crew
• Deeper Layer 2: Cdr. Vikram wants personal vendetta against the rebels for his sister and has ideological beliefs that are opposed to theirs.
• Lt. Rehman who saved Vikram’s life while illegally crossing the European border on falsified papers warns Ria not to trust Vikram and his charming persona.
• AD Beginning: Captain Desai begins as a rugged and authoritative man with traditionalist views, haunted by past mission failures and a recent divorce.
• Captain Desai introduced as as a corrupt officer influenced by fame and money is the red herring of the story.
• AD Turning Point 1: Desai is called to lead the mission despite his reluctance, facing tensions with Ria. He initially resists her presence and competence, projecting his guilt and prejudice onto her.
• Ria asks to carry a sidearm on board for protection and is refused by Captain – she knows there is a traitor amongst them.
• AV Turning Point 1: Varma guides Ria and the team through the treacherous mission, using his strategic mind and compassion to protect his team. His unconventional methods are both envied and underestimated.
• Team meeting: The team meets at an undisclosed location off the coast of Bengal on a decommissioned ship that’s refitted for their mission.
• RK Beginning: Rehman starts as a brave but reckless adventurist, haunted by survivor's guilt and the need to prove his worth.
• AV Midpoint: Varma's manipulation and plotting from the background ensure the mission's direction. He withholds critical information and presents certain truths to motivate the team.
• Ria doesn’t trust any of the crew not because she is afraid they are all men but that one of them is a traitor.
• Ria tunes into other frequencies and decodes communications between merchant vessels – gets reprimanded by Capt. Desai for straying from the mission of interception naval communications.
• Turning Point: Ria misses a crucial communication, resulting in the loss of rebel lives. Captain Anirudh doubts her suitability for the rough seas and high-stakes environment.
• We see Ria and the crew with barely trained divers on a decommissioned ship making inconsequential attempts to sabotage supply line vessels on the East Coast.
Act 2: New Plan – Trial and Error
• AD Midpoint: Desai's leadership is challenged by Ria's competence during an emergency diving drill. His misogynistic views and commanding presence are tested, leading to internal conflict and growth.
• RK Turning Point 1: Rehman supports Ria during an emergency diving drill, helping her face her trauma. His impulsiveness and heroism drive him to take risks to prove his worth.
• RS Act 2: Ria’s trauma resurfaces when she refuses to take part in a mandatory diving drill and Capt. Desai calls his superiors to take her off the mission. Ria intercepts her first crucial message when Rehman helps her confront her fear of water to complete the diving drill, but the team’s success is short-lived when tensions erupt with Cdr Vikram after Rehman’s recklessness.
• RK Dilemma: Rehman faces the dilemma of continuing his reckless behavior to prove his worth or adopting caution and teamwork for the mission's success.
• Vikram’s absence on a dinner date with Ria where he tries to sneak into Ria’s quarters and covers up with seduction when she catches him going through her messages.
• Midpoint Turning Point: Ria intercepts a communication meant for Commander Vikram and learns that he was sent as a trojan horse – he didn’t abandon his ship like the rest of his crew willingly to fight with the rebels. His mission is to eliminate Ria and the rebel crew.
• VS Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Ria’s false intelligence test works and she intercepts a message meant for him and Cdr Vikram in desperation to stop her communications cuts off the cables and kills Lt. Rehman who catches him doing it.
• RK Midpoint: A dive led by Vikram results in Rehman's death, sacrificing himself for the mission. His reckless behavior and desire for heroism lead to his ultimate downfall.
• Dramatic Reveal 2: to audience – when he kills Lt. Rehman underwater and blames it on Ria’s negligence
• Surface Layer 4: Ria is decoding merchant ship communications with the Pakistani Navy
• Deeper Layer 4: The enemy radio operator was her colleague before going to Pakistan and it’s now a battle of wits to prove the best spy radio operator – an unfinished bet they had made upon graduating from the British academy where they were trained together.Act 3: Rethink Everything – Unraveling Truths
• RK Turning Point 2: Rehman's death impacts the crew, especially Ria, pushing her to the brink and planting seeds of distrust. His actions serve as a turning point for Ria's journey and the mission's dynamics.
• RS Act 3: In desperation, Ria feeds false intelligence to test her suspicions, which tragically results in civilian casualties on both sides of the border.
• Dramatic Reveal 4: Ria identifies a unique signature in one of the messages and responds with her own to confirm the identity of the enemy operator.
• VS Act 3: Cdr. Vikram needs a new way to communicate and charms his way with Capt. Desai to send a secret message to the enemy.
• Vikram uses his charm with Captain Desai to get access to the military codes to communicate to his Pakistani Admiral when his messages are intercepted by Ria.
• VS Turning Point 3: The rebels succeed in sabotaging Pakistani ships due to Ria’s attention to detail and despite his attempts to mislead them. His true intentions are at risk of being exposed.
• Major Reveal 1: Ria uncovers evidence of Vikram’s betrayal when the Pakistani military hits the wrong port. She plants false intelligence only Vikram would have coordinates to confirm.
• Turning Point: Major Shift: Ria's relentless pursuit of the truth leads her to evidence of Vikram's betrayal and the fabrication of her father’s dishonor by her mentor, Secy. Verma. Their ship is sabotaged and now Ria must decode the message before they sink underwater.
• AV Turning Point 2: Varma must confront his past failures and guide the team to success.
• RS Turning Point 3: Ria's uncovers the fabrication of her father’s dishonor by her mentor and feels betrayed.
• Dramatic Reveal 3: Ria deciphers an enemy communication that leaks an audio file that reveals Secy Varma’s cover-up
• AD Dilemma: Desai faces a dilemma of either maintaining his traditional views and failing the mission or accepting Ria's competence and leading his crew to success.
• AD Turning Point 2: The ship is sabotaged, Desai confronts his own prejudices and failures to work with Ria to save the mission.
• RK Major Conflict: Rehman's ultimate sacrifice and death during the dive highlight his journey from a reckless adventurist to a selfless freedom fighter.
• AV Dilemma: Varma faces the dilemma of either maintaining control and withholding information or trusting Ria and the team to take risks and succeed.
• RS Dilemma: Ria faces a dilemma of whether to focus on intercepting the crucial message to save the mission or confront Vikram and clear her name, risking her life in the process. Her delay costs her and her crew dearly.
• VS Dilemma: Vikram faces the choice of either abandoning his mission to sabotage the rebel crew or continuing his treacherous path, risking exposure and failure.
• Surface Layer 5: Cdr. Vikram believes that his sister was killed by Rebel forces
• Deeper Layer 5: His sister actually marched with the rebel forces and was massacred by Pakistani military
• AV Major Conflict: Varma's strategic manipulation and guidance are crucial during the mission's climax. He pulls the strings to ensure each piece moves according to his broader strategy.
• a more nefarious scheme of infiltration and exposing a traitor and intercepting top secret messages that drastically change the direction of the war and create a permanent blockage that can end the genocide.Act 4: New Ways – Triumph and Transformation
• Dramatic Reveal 2: to the crew – TP3 when Pakistani frogmen sabotage their ship to sink it.
• RS Act 4 Climax: Their ship is sabotaged and now Ria must decode the message before they sink underwater. An underwater showdown between Ria and Vikram occurs. Carrying the weight of Rehman’s death and her own tarnished reputation, underwater while she fights Vikram and reconnects the cable to intercept a crucial message. Capt Anirudh and his crew fight Pakistani frogmen and save the ship from going under.
• Dramatic Reveal 5: Ria discovers a hidden communication that she reveals to Cdr. Vikram when they are underwater and after that she beats him down to complete her mission.
• VS Act 4 Climax: Pakistani frogmen sabotage their ship but Ria fights Vikram underwater and overpowers him to intercept the top-secret message they have been waiting for.
• AD Major Conflict: Desai fights alongside Ria and the crew against Pakistani frogmen, realizing the importance of teamwork and overcoming his internal biases.
• RK Ending: Rehman's death serves as a catalyst for Ria's transformation and the mission's success. His legacy as a martyr and freedom fighter is honored, and his actions inspire the crew.
• Resolution: Intercepted cables reveal US support for Pakistan, legitimizing India's backing of East Pakistani rebels. Ria's victory is bittersweet as she mourns Rehman, restores her father's legacy, and gains Captain Anirudh's respect, who offers to make amends when the crew refuses to abandon the ship and keeps it afloat to help her carry out her mission.
• VS Resolution: Cdr. Vikram is captured and exposed as a traitor. His ideological beliefs are shattered, bringing an end to his descent into betrayal. It is revealed that the Pakistani military slaughtered his sister, and she gave her life joining the rebel forces to fight for freedom.
• AD Ending: Desai gains respect for Ria, reconciles his past failures, and offers to make amends. His leadership and experience are crucial to the mission's success, and he evolves into a more accepting and competent leader.
• AV Ending: Varma's unconventional methods and leadership result in the mission's success. He redeems himself for past failures, gains respect from the team, and secures his legacy as a key strategic general in the unconventional war efforts.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by Sunil Pappu.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by
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Beat Outline for Genesis with Layers
Beginning: Training Camp
Introduce Suli and Jon, their relationship, and their ambitions.
Establish their personal backgrounds and hidden agendas.
Show the rigorous training for the International Launch Project.
Nancy background
Harrison on TV
Apathy in world
Inciting Incident: Pool Rescue
During a training exercise, Jon saves Suli from a near-drowning incident in the training pool.
Maybe second love interest? Ethnicity, arrogance? WASP or something
Their bond deepens, hinting at the romantic and professional connection they share.
Turning Point 1: Weightless Sex
In a moment of passion and spontaneity, Suli and Jon consummate their love in zero gravity during a training simulation.
This act introduces the potential for pregnancy, complicating their mission.
Act 2: Mission Commences
Suli and Jon, now officially part of the space mission, embark on their journey to the International Space Station (ISS). Perfect launch – no problems ahead!
Nancy in the know!
Harrison connivance in shuttle sabotage
Establish the excitement and challenges of the mission, along with the tension between characters.
Maybe second love interest interferes – reflect tensions on Earth
Turning Point 2 / Midpoint: Crash
A catastrophic event occurs: the delivery drone shuttle crashes, leaving Suli and Jon stranded and isolated in space.
This incident forces them to confront the reality of their situation and rely on each other for survival.
Act 3: Pregnancy Announced
Suli discovers she is pregnant, which adds a new layer of urgency and danger to their predicament.
Harrison fights press
The news of the pregnancy is communicated back to Earth, drawing global attention to their situation.
Turning Point 3: Rescue Fails
An attempted rescue mission fails due to sabotage or unforeseen complications.
Suli and Jon must devise a new plan to ensure their survival and safe return, facing their biggest challenge yet.
Act 4 Climax: Birth
Suli goes into labor, and with Jon's help, gives birth to their baby boy in the midst of the chaos.
This moment symbolizes hope and new beginnings for both the couple and humanity.
Resolution: What Happens Now…? (Messiah Moment)
The world watches as Suli and Jon, with their newborn child, navigate their new reality.
The couple becomes a symbol of hope and resilience, inspiring a global shift in perspective towards unity and survival.
Harrison's involvement in the shuttle crash is revealed, exposing his true motives and leading to his downfall.
The birth of the child becomes a turning point for humanity, suggesting a new beginning or "messiah" for the troubled world.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by Harry Rankin.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by Harry Rankin.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by
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David Wickenden New Online Beats
Assignment #4 New Online Beats
Vision: I become a writer that the industry respects and wants to work with and it offers me challenges that helps me to continue to grow and be successful.
“What I learned from doing this assignment is…?”
• State: I am absolutely capable…
• Activity: …plotting my story!Act 1: Magic is Scary
• Eliza PJ 1: A child, (Eliza Blackwood), is playing with magic. Her mother enters the room, and the magic gets away from Eliza and her mother is flung into a different realm.
• Eliza PJ 2: Years later, Eliza, her sister Elenor, and brother, Gabriel, journey to an ancient family estate that they have inherited.
• Inciting Incident: The siblings enter the mansion, only to be attacked by a swarm of ghosts.
• Silas AJ 1: Silas and his followers appear and help the siblings fight back against the ghosts.
• Silas AJ2: Silas promises to protect the siblings, as his family has always protected the Blackwood family.
• Deeper Layer: Silas is not truthful, but is after the power of the ghosts, which were witches murdered in the 1700s by his ancestors.
• Turning Point: The Blackwoods agree to help the cult, unaware of the true depth of Silas’s plans and the prophecy involving their bloodline.Act 2: Searching the past.
• Elenor has a vivid nightmare that shows women being burned at the stake. She reveals seeing a large book with an eye on its cover.
• Gabriel finds the book.
• Eliza PJ 4: Eliza reads the book and sees that it is the history of their family. She reads to learn more.
• Deeper Layer: The women were witches and were killed in 1700s. They were of the Blackwood family, killed by the Hawthorne’s who wanted their powers. A ghost, Margaret Blackwood, appears and confirms what Eliza has learned.
• Eliza PJ 5: She learns that magic is part of the family legacy, but she refused to accept this.
• Major reveal: Margaret reveals Eliza’s tampering with magic as a child caught Eliza’s mother and that she has suppressed the memories. Upon hearing of this, the memories overcome Eliza, but she realizes that she has the power of magic.
• Silas AJ 3: Silas puts plans into place to grab Gabriel as a sacrifice in the coming ceremony to gain supernatural powers.Act 3: Fast learner
• Eliza PJ 6: Using the book, and with the help of the ghost, Eliza familiarizes herself with magic, but does not trust in herself. She also does not offer a blood sacrifice. This allows Silas to overcome her.
• Silas AJ 4: Silas and his members grab Gabriel.
• Eliza PJ 7: With Elenor, Eliza searches for her brother.
• Silas AJ 5: When the sisters get separated, Silas grabs Elenor.
• Eliza AJ 5: Realizing that she is alone, Eliza becomes determined to fight back.Act 4: The Battle
• Silas AJ 6: As the clock approaches midnight, Silas and the cult gather to sacrifice the two captured siblings.
• Eliza PJ 6: Eliza at Margaret’s urging, cuts herself so that the blood is spilt and offered for the power she needs.
• Eliza PJ 7: Eliza, with the help of the ghosts, attack the cult members. She is not strong enough and watches in horror as Silas raises the knife to kill her brother.
• Silas AJ 7: Silas is at the finish line, ready to gain all the supernatural power for himself.
• Turning point: As Eliza reaches for more power, a portal opens up. Through the portal, her mother appears and feeds her the combined power of the witches.
• Eliza PJ 8: Eliza, with the added power, uses it to fling Silas into another void, before he can sacrifice her brother. She easily finishes off the other cult members. As she relaxes, the portal with her mother closes her mother off from her.
• Reveal: Having gained the witch’s power into herself and broken the curse, Margaret and the other ghosts are free to enter the afterlife and disappear after a tearful farewell.
• Resolution: Eliza rescues her siblings. As they embrace, the powers flow through all three of them, awaking the latent powers. Eliza tells them that knowing that their mother is still alive somewhere in a different realm, they must work towards rescuing her.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by David Wickenden.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by
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Bob Creager’s New Outline Beats!
VISION: As a screenwriter, I aspire to craft highly unique, high-concept stories that intrigue from the first glance and reach an A-list storytelling level at my own pace.
What I learned: I had a bunch of holes throughout Act 2 that needed filling. Asking what needed to be here and what set it up helped.
BEAT SHEET – DRAFT 2
Act 1: Old Ways
• ***Day 1
• Nick PJ1: Opening: Nicholas Samichlaus, aka Santa Claus and a centuries-old vampire, struggles with bloodlust intensified during Christmas.
• Dawn approaches. Santa delivers toys. Asks Eirlys for a drink. She’s run out. Suggests a brief detour. Stops at a house, delivers to a young girl sleeping by the tree, feeds on a drug-addled brother. Eirlys rushes him along. As a vampire, his face distorts almost like in Buffy.
• Nick PJ2: Demonstrates Santa magic to enter buildings, candy cane always in hand.
• Santa grabs Eirlys, taps his nose, flies away through the ceiling, a candy cane lies on the bed next to still alive brother.
• Inciting Incident: Interpol Agent Isabella Clarke investigates "12 Days of Christmas" vampire attacks.
• Isabella sits on a parked plane waiting for news of the first vampire attack. It comes in. She takes off for Crimson North.
• Isabella AJ1: Isabella checks in with the local police, displays cynicism about Christmas.
• Isabella wished a Merry Christmas at the police station. She says tell that to the victim. Examines photos. Sees the candy cane. There!
• At the hospital with the victim’s family, the little girl tells her that Santa provided the toy. Says her parents couldn’t afford it. They concur that it wasn’t from them. She says Santa ate the cookies and milk. The dad signals that it was him.
• ***Day 2
• Nick PJ3a: Isabella AJ2: Turning Point: Nicholas and Isabella meet at a crime scene, sparking romance. He introduces himself as a Toy Designer, he bets she’s Interpol. Surprised.
• At the victim’s house, no evidence other than the candy cane. Neighbors hang out. Nick mingles in with them. They lock eyes. A little Santa magic (wave of the hand) and Isabella approaches.
• Isabella questions his health, looks tired. Nick glances at the setting sun. More Santa magic, the sun sets. A snap of the fingers, time freezes, Nick checks the neighbors, all in the nice category. He walks the street, enters an apartment building, a man frozen in mid-swing at a woman. Nick unfreezes the man, feeds. Nick heals the woman’s bruised face. Nick dances to Isabella. No longer looking tired.
• Nick unfreezes time, gives a ho-ho-ho. Isabella frowns.
• Isabella AJ3: Nick PJ3b: Nicholas gives a Santa laugh. She questions his appropriateness, his looks. Says it’s the candy cane.
• Nick PJ 3aa: Isabella AJ4: Nicholas disappears, returns. Unexplained time lapse. She asked when did it get dark out.
• Nick PJ4: Children charismatically attracted to him. He passes out candy canes, an unlimited supply.
• Neighborhood children gather around. Nick hands them candy canes. Isabella asks for one. Tells Nick she’ll eat it later.
• A police call comes in, the wife beater is dead. Nick offers to walk her to the crime scene. A policeman tries to keep him out. Magiced. Nick goes to the wife, tells her about her future. Wishes her well. Isabella watches him in action, mesmerized.
Act 2: Embracing the Old Ways
• ***Day 3
• Nick PJ5: New Plan: Elf Eirlys warns Nicholas his romance leads to tragedy, he ignores her.
• Nick follows the police down the street, Eirlys joins him, yanks him behind a bush. Accuses him of repeating the tragedy of Christmas 1814. Tells her he’s just playing. Nothing will happen.
• Isabella AJ4: Whenever Nicholas talks to her about toy designing, she is mesmerized and forgets about vampires.
• Isabella asks a policeman to have forensics analyze her candy cane and the one next to victim one and two.
• As Isabella questions Nick about his whereabouts, he tells her about the joy of making toys. It’s Santa magic. She’s mesmerized. When he stops talking, a crowd of children sit at his feet. Eirlys makes eye contact, nods. Nick begs off, joins Eirlys.
• At lunch, Eirlys eats a massive meal. Nick has hot chocolate and pie. As Eirlys slows down, she pulls out a folder of pictures and details about the teens, three boys, two girls. Nick identifies them with a “naughty” as he scrolls through their pictures. Says that the leader will be last.
• Eirlys drives Nick in her Mini Cooper on the outside, a big sleigh on the inside. They tour the hangout of the teens. The teens work for the school superintendent fixing games. The teens offer sex/money for the fix. Fight Club.
• One of the girls meets with basketball player. Gives him cash and sex. He throws a close game. The Team goes out to commensurate their loss. Afterwards, the Player meets with the Teen leader, gets paid. Santa was waiting. As the Teen leader walks away, Santa attacks the Player.
• ***Day 4
• A doorbell cam picks up the two. Isabella questions the Teen leader. Nothing to hold him.
• Before the picnic, Nick slips away, the Teen gang meets in an abandoned store. Nick grabs one of the boys taking a leak. He’s gone. Nick rushes to lunch.
• Nick arranges a picnic in the park. The weather is spring-like. Isabella admits that she is searching for a vampire. Nick laughs it off, becomes serious. Wants to know why. Isabella only gives a hint at her backstory.
• ***Day 5
• Nick PJ6: Plan in Action: Nicholas manipulates crimes scenes and witnesses, conceals vampirism from Isabella. He demonstrates Santa magic like time slowing and glamouring. Victims smell like candy.
• Nick shows up at the Teen Gang’s hideout, magically wipes all fingerprints from the building, manipulates the memory of the teens. They suddenly don’t remember anything, even what they just told the police.
• Eirlys signals to Nick. As Nick leaves, he offers to meet Isabella for lunch tomorrow. At first, she refuses, a little Santa magic, she cheerfully says yes. Isabella questions her sanity.
• Nick joins Eirlys. Eirlys tells Nick he’s off his plan and he needs to focus. Eirlys tells him he doesn’t have to kill them all. Reminds her that he doesn’t have control. She says that words out that Kozlov is in town.
• Nick goes for a jog. The Teen girls hang out at one of the girl’s house. Depressed at the loss of one of their own. Nick enters. One dead. One bit but alive.
• ***Day 6
• Nick shows up at the crime scene, ostensibly to take her to lunch. Isabella begs off. He gets a brief from Isabella. Surprises Nick that one girl survived.
• Nick goes to the hospital, disguised as a respiratory technician, the girl does not recognize him. He finishes her off, takes her half full bag of blood with him.
• While Nick is at the hospital, Kozlov arrives at the crime scene, says he’s a P.I.. Takes Isabella off to the side, asks her outright if she is chasing a vampire, and asks if it has been six attacks since this is the sixth day of Christmas. He describes Nick. Doesn’t believe Kozlov.
• Isabella AJ5: Kozlov, secret identity as a P.I. provides clues to Isabella of Nicholas’ vampirism. Asks if there are unexplained time lapses, confused crime scene reports, Nick showing up without notice. She says he’s just interested in her. Kozlov, asks, is it for his dinner.
• Nick PJ7: Midpoint Turning Point: Romance grows. Dining and dancing interrupted by Kozlov’s appearance. Isabella tries to query Nick, the questions deflected. Kozlov arrives, orders him to leave Crimson North. Literal. Nick leaves and immediately returns. Kozlov says he will permanently ban Nick from town. Reminds him that his “(Santa) duties” override his orders.
• Isabella gets the call about Girl 2.
• Isabella AJ6: Isabella reveals orders to kill the vampire.
Act 3: Transition
• ***Day 7
• Nick PJ8: Rethink Everything: Nicholas, shaken by Isabella’s orders, reckons with his lies and bloodlust.
• Eirlys consoles Nick. Suggests picking up and going to another town. He says he can’t because he loves her, Christmas 1814 or not.
• Flashback: Series of shots showing Nick wooing a woman, she finds out he’s a vampire. Nick kills her and escapes.
• Isabella tries to follow him. He allows it except when he needs to skip out.
• Nick PJ9: Eilrys drives Nick in her car, advises him to reveal that he’s Santa. She drops him off at Teen 4 shooting hoops in his backyard.
• Teen 4 attacked, dead.
• ***Day 8
• Nick PJ10: New Plan: Nicholas decides to reveal his vampiric nature to Isabella but will withhold he’s Santa.
• Isabella arrives at the diner, Nick, a large plate of pancakes, donuts, ice cream, syrup and jam on everything. A pitcher of milk. She sits next to him, a pot of coffee in her hand.
• Isabella says she’s never heard of vampires who eat food. She asks him why he kills. He seems so nice. Says that Teen 5 is in protective custody. Asks about Eirlys. Her car was seen at the site. She asks him to tell her that he’s not the vampire. He gives a sad smile. Says he’s sorry. Gets up and leaves.
• Nick, using Santa tricks, shows up in the Superintendent’s office. Glamours him to tell him about his illegal activities. Learns of fight club tonight. Takes a tiny feed. Disappears. Supe doesn’t know what happened to his neck. (Plug in some Supe references earlier.)
• At fight club: Nick robs all the money, destroys it. Vamps on Supe. Flies his body in Eirlys’ Mini Cooper/sleigh, drops him in a lake/ocean/river.
• ***Day 9
• A riot ensues among those who lost their money. Supe is given up by the bettors. Can’t be found.
• Kozlov at the crime scene. Says no one will ever find Supe. Not all vampires leave bodies behind. Isabella says it’s not a vampire crime, just your normal crime. Supe took off with the money. Asks if he knows where Nick is.
• Isabella AJ6: Turning Point: Before Nicholas can reveal his vampirism, Kozlov exposes Nicholas as the killer of her parents and the one responsible for her inability to have children.
• Isabella AJ7: Isabella has a flashback of Nicholas’ Santa laugh at her parents’ death and a flashback of the earlier crime scene where Nick Santa laughed.
• Nick P11: Nick prepares to battle Kozlov, knowing he cannot kill his sire, but hopes to discourage him.
• Eirlys warns Nick to stay away from Isabella and Kozlov. He walks the bad streets. Looks for an opportunity. I man jumps out at him with a gun. Gives him a Santa laugh, sniffs him. Tells him he stinks and not worth the effort. The man shoots him in the back. Nick stumbles, turns into scary vampire, attacks him on the street. Rips his head off, jams the gun into his neck cavity.
Act 4: New Ways
• ***Day 10
• Kozlov attacks Isabella (minor attack). Laughs at Nick. Taunts him because he knows that Nick cannot harm him. Nick tries anyway.
• Nick PJ12: Climax: Nicholas battles Kozlov, channeling love, Christmas magic, and vampiric abilities.
• Nick PJ13: As he fights, he morphs into Santa then vampire and back, attracting children from all around. Children help Santa.
• Kozlov grabs a kid. Nick tries to stab Kozlov with a spike to the chest, the kid helps. It bends just missing the heart. Kozlov lumbers off. Santa magics the kids so they don’t remember the fight. He gives them all small toys.
• Nick heals Isabella. She hugs him. Begs him to give up being a vampire. He doesn’t know if he can. She wonders if she can help break his tie to Kozlov.
• ***Day 11 & 12
• Nick PJ14: Resolution: Nicholas extends his Christmas magic to protect the children.
• Isabella AJ8: Now aware Nicholas is Santa and Kozlov reveals he is a vampire, Isabella stabs Kozlov, breaking Nicholas’ curse.
• Nick PJ14a: Nicholas, now unincumbered by Kozlov’s power over him, uses magic to purge his vampirism, fully encompassing the new Santa and human protector.
• Isabella A9: Deeper Layer: Nicholas reveals that he only fed on “the naughty”. Isabella asks about her parents. Nicholas says that they were deserving and promises to tell her someday.
• Isabella AJ10: Nicholas offers to grant her a Christmas wish. She asks for a child. A little Santa magic and Isabella feels the change.
• Nick PJ15: Isabella AJ11: Epilog: Christmas magic cures Isabella’s inability to have children. She holds twins, while pregnant again. Elves scurry about. They are at the North Pole.
• The Day 1 victim, now a vampire, makes his first kill.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by Bob Creager.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 2 weeks ago by
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ED'S New Outline Beats.
MY VISION is to be a bankable, reputable, and industry go-to writer who’s demonstrated how to entertain and hold an audience’s attention through unforgettable characters and stories that are as enjoyable to write as they are to watch.
What I learned doing this assignment is by working backward I can see more clearly there's a need to increase set-up opportunities to give reveals more punch. I've not written the strongest reveals yet, some are still too conventional but I understand a better process to get there.
Act 1: Introduction to the Old Ways
Prologue. Grandpa Nick, leafing through the pages of a large old book and Grandpa Evie knitting in the great room of Winterberry Manor. Suddenly there’s a clatter coming from the fireplace. A cloud of soot engulfs the room. In the middle of the cloud a blackened face with only the wide mischievous eyes of young man’s face.
1. Beginning: Christmas Chaos at the Fragrance Counter.
Howie PJ 1 : Is spritzing samples like six shooters, fending off customer complaints using snarky humor as a defense mechanism.
A customer refers to Howie as an “Elf” because of his fashionable green vest, which really gets under Howie’s skin. Howie insults the shopper getting the attention of the store Santa.Jasper AJ 1: Jasper to the rescue. Appearing as if out of nowhere, Jasper’s at the counter. He thinks elves are cute. He’s far too merry for Howie’s comfort, hidden under his oversized Santa hat, and sharing a fondness for vests!
Howie PJ 2: A spark of curiosity, annoyance with reluctant attraction to Jasper. Caught in a dilemma to keep flirting or help the increasingly impatient customers. Howie pulls himself away helps other customers cracking jokes along the way.
Jasper AJ 2: mysteriously moves to the other side of the counter. Howie looks confused, glancing around, trying to figure out how Jasper moved so quickly. Jasper’s enjoying the chaos around him, taking over, making spot on recommendations to customer’s.
Howie PJ 3: Howie returns to help Jasper except now he’s resentful of Jasper’s success and charms. Howie assumes is flirting with another man. Howie takes up Midnight Journey, stating it’s his boyfriend’s favorite, and accidentally sprays Jasper in the face with it.
Japer PJ 3: Sneezing fit from the spray. No that’s definitely not the one but Jasper wants to know about Howie. In-between sneezes he’s definitely sure they’ve met before.
2. Inciting Incident: The Break Up
Howie PJ 4: Howie hides his unintentional flirt from his boyfriend who’s just showed up. Howie thinks he’s being spied on distrust BF’s motives. An argument ensues. The Store Santa (Howie’s best friend, Jesús) intervenes, tussling with the BF, trying to win Howie’s favor.
Jasper AJ 4: Overly sorry for the misunderstanding attempts to bring holiday merriment back to the ruckus breaking up the fight between Santa and the BF but it’s too late. Jasper crashes into a Christmas store display.
Howie PJ 5: Howie’s goes to comfort Jasper’s triggering the BF’s drama. Howie hold’s back tears as the BF cancels the surprise going away for Christmas holiday, and they are finished!
Jasper AJ 5: Makes a cryptic comment about them all being on the “naughty list” and gathers his dignity disappears into the crowd, leaving behind now oddly polite shoppers.
Howie PJ 6: Quits his job on the spot.
3. Turning Point 1: Return to Winterberry Manor
Jasper AJ 6: Passes Christmas store window display of Santa climbing down a chimney . Jasper’s nearly childlike in wonder yet saddened by it. In the glass reflection across from him a hardware store and a spark of an idea.Howie PJ 7: At the the North Pole Photograph Castle, Howie sitting on Santa Jesús’ lap. Howie curses Christmas and his chain of misfortune. He receives a text from his Grandpa Nick inviting him to Winterberry Manor for Christmas. Jesús encourages Howie to accept his invitation convincing him it’s better than being alone for Christmas.
Jasper AJ 7: Jasper leaves the hardware store loaded down with assorted implements.
Howie PJ 8: Arrival at Winterberry Manor. Grandpa Nick and Grandma Evie cleaning up a big mess around the Howie’s favorite fireplace hearth. Howie presses them what he over hears them hinting at the broken chimney’s significance not this chimney – a children’s fable they were discussing.
Act 2: Exploration and New Challenges
4. New Plan: Jasper must go.
Jasper AJ 8: Surprises Howie while he is trying to fix the chimney. Covers for his presence at Winterberry Manor as he is working as a caregiver to his Grandparents.
Howie PJ 9: He’s positive Jasper a scam artist targeting his grandparents, who never mentioned his employment. Conspires with Jesús to find out all he can about him. Grandpa Nick assures Howie everything is fine and hints at the need for a traditional Christmas and sacrifices must be made leaving Howie wondering what that means.
Jasper AJ 9: He and Jesús doing serious holiday decorating and sharing their love for the holiday and its traditions. Jesús is fishing for clues about Jasper, sex orientation and others for Howie. Jasper makes a remark how he’s needs to get back home but can’t confusing Jesús as to where is home?
Howie PJ 10: Listening to Jesús feed Jim Jasper clues, searches online about Jasper. He doesn’t find a thing about Jasper – very odd. Howie wants Jasper gone but is conflicted over his attraction to him. He must be gay – right?
Jasper AJ 10: Invited by Grandpa Nick to stay. The storms too bad for him to leave so he will stay and help make this Winterberry Christmas the best it has ever been.
Howie PJ 11: He will counter Jasper’s efforts and ruin this Christmas making it the worst it has ever been driving Jasper away for good.
5. Plan in Action: It’s a Hallmark Christmas disaster
Howie PJ 12: Christmas cookie baking gone wrong. He tries to find out why Jasper is not home for Christmas.
Jasper AJ12: Alludes to a moment of rejection – the reason is somewhat vague. He makes the best of Christmas cookie baking countering Howie’s plans. Learns of Howie’s family Christmas day rejection over him being gay – thus his dislike for the occasion.
Howie PJ 13: Finds Jasper on the roof fixing the chimney. He volunteers to help Jasper fix the chimney.
Jasper AJ 13. Rejects Howie’s help and metaphorically Howie’s love. This is Jasper’s fault it is broken and only he alone can fix his mistake. He hints there is more at stake here than a broken chimney.
Howie PJ 14: Takes pity on Jasper as he admits everyone makes mistakes – his being trusting in those who he loved only to have his trust broken along with his heart.
Jasper AJ 14: Jasper has a cure for everything blue – it’s snowball fight…
Jasper, Howie, and Jesús partake in a snowball fight which is rollicking good fun until hidden jealousy and attraction between Jesús and Howie and Howie and Jasper get a little too competitive.
Howie PJ 15: Howie interrogates Jesús’s over his jealousy around Jasper bring into question their “just good friends” relationship. Jesús reveals he’s always had deeper feelings for Howie.
Jasper AJ 15: Overhearing Howie and Jesús, Jasper pushes for Howie to pursuit Jesús’s attraction as Jasper hints he’s not going to be around for much longer – he hopes.
Howie PJ 16: expresses hurt over Jasper’s rejection. His heart to heart with Grandma Evie reveals he’s a disillusioned romantic who, under a veneer of Christmas disdain, deeply desires to rekindle his belief in magical, heartfelt connections. Grandma Evie hopes for family healing and encourages Howie to reach out to his parents, though he resists. She subtly hints at secrets about Howie's true past and their family legacy.
Howie PJ17: Howie’s accuses Jasper of ruining his Christmas – a turn about for Howie’s Christmas hating facade has a crack. He’s upset he can’t drink his hot cocoa with Jasper by his favorite fireplace because it’s broken.
6. Midpoint Turning Point: Jasper’s coming out.
Jasper AJ 17: In an attempt to repair the fireplace to placate Howie, Jasper takes a tumble. His ridiculous Santa hat falls off revealing is elfin-like appearance.
Howie PJ 18: Howie wants out of all Winterberry Manor drama- now. Jasper begs him to stay. Howie demands an explanation as to what is going on.
Jasper AJ 18: Using Grandpa Nick’s old book, shows Howie he’s a North Pole elf explaining the magical chimney is the main portal allowing Santa to use all chimneys for his Christmas Eve ingress and egress. Jasper left the NP to fix the chimney and show the other elves his worth but has failed. Christmas is in peril.
Howie PJ 19: Takes this info all in stride but what he really wants to know is if Jasper is gay or not, and what does any of this have to do with him?
Jasper AJ 19: Of course he is gay – he’s an elf and all elves are gay by their nature. A person pure of heart must perform an “enactment of the true Christmas spirit” for the chimney to be repaired.
Act 3: Reevaluation and Conflict: How to save Christmas in 24 hours.
7. Rethink Everything:
Howie: PJ 20: He sees on TikTok his Ex-Boyfriend promoting a fragrance Howie created pushing Howie to shut down hating his life – again. He is not loving anyone for anything ever again.Jasper AJ 20: It can’t be just anyone who performs the genuine act – it has to be someone connected to the North Pole and Howie is that person but must open up his heart to do so. Using Granda Nick’s old book he shows Howie he’s part-elf, explaining his connection to Christmas magic and Jasper.
Howie PJ 20: Luckily he’s not connected to NP until he learns his grandparents and their parents have protected Christmas magic for generations. They are unique family with half elf and half human bloodlines.
Jasper AJ 21: Howie has locked up magical potential but only true love can set it free. It’s dangerous for him otherwise. Jasper misused his and look where he is now.
Howie PJ 21: Comes to realize his family’s misunderstood over his coming out last Christmas. thinking he was revealing his elf heritage, not being gay, which is not an issue. He would be lost to the North Pole forever as an “out elf.”
8. Turning Point: Howie doesn’t see that coming.
Jasper AJ 22: Confesses he’s had feelings for Howie since their childhood North Pole meeting. He’s never forgotten him. And now it looks like they are stuck together.
Howie PJ22: Suspicion abounds. Denies this truth as being half elf and in being such he alone can help Jasper get home via the magic chimney.Why should he knowing his success will send Jasper away but save Christmas. What is the “enactment of the true Christmas spirit” He must perform?
Jasper AJ 23: The “chimney book” does not say what the “enactment is” and he surely does not know. Perhaps it is best to quickly try everything?
Howie PJ 23: To prove Jasper wrong – Howie will complete in rapid fashion enactments of what he thinks are true enactments of the Christmas spirit: decorating the tree, caroling, gift exchanges? All providing false hope he’s doing the right thing.
Jasper AJ 24: Off of Howie’s accomplishments, he tries exiting via the chimney – he fails leading to accusations. Jesús – Howie purposely did not fix it so Jasper would stay. Jasper – it was Jesús who sabotaged it. Jesús, you're both mad, and don’t know what love is. There is mistrust and renewed hurt feelings.
Howie PJ 24: Change in tactics, what scares him the most – focusing on the chimney or addressing family issues. Howie’s parents arrive. Howie introduces Jasper as his boyfriend, daring his parents to reject him again and conflicting Jasper as to staying.
Grandma Evie struggles with the unresolved family rift and can’t take it anymore. Howie learns from his parent’s their role Howie’s life was protecting him from the chimney magic he did not understand.
Jasper AJ 25: Contemplates staying with Howie and his family versus returning to the North Pole who are not like the family to him like the Bellamys are. Howie tells Jasper he must leave, it’s his gift to him.
Act 4: Climax and Resolution: Tears and soot
9. Climax/Ultimate Expression of Conflict:
Howie PJ 26: Finishes what he started last Christmas. spurred on by Grandpa Nick’s efforts lead to a breakthrough in family unity. Howie reconciles with his parents, forgiving them for their rejection understanding now tit was their fear of losing him to the elf world not because he’s gay. His enactment of the Christmas spirit brings the magical chimney to life.
Jasper AJ 26: Torn between duty and love, is sorry but decides the must to return to the North Pole, saving Christmas despite his heartbreak. In his hasty exit he apologizes to Howie for not having a gift for him.
Howie PJ 27 A: Seeking comfort in Jesús but he can’t be found now either. Grandpa Evie delivers the news that Jesús has left. Howie’s left emotionally healed with his family but alone again.
10. Resolution: Magic under the mistletoe
Howie PJ 28: Is back at the store pleasantly working the returns counter. His curiosity peaked when in the line someone hidden behind a gift wrapped box approaches him.
Jasper AJ 28: Drops the box revealing himself. Surprise! He asks Howie to come with him. Again Howie leaves customers behind but on much better terms.
Howie opens the gift – it’s a snow globe of North Pole. Howie shakes it revealing to us…
In the globe we see Jesús working as an NP elf. He happily waves to Howie and Jasper showing them and the audience he’s found a new happy place. Jasper explains the role switch was approved by the big man (Santa) as his gift to Howie for fixing the chimney. Now they can be together.
Back at Winterberry Manor, Howie and Jasper receive “the old book” from Grandpa Nick bestowing them as the new custodians of the magic chimney furthering their romance and newfound roles in preserving Christmas traditions.
Howie PJ Kisses Jasper under the mistletoe – (or something less conventional.)
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Pat Fitzgerald’s New Outline Beats
My vision is to have fun completing this class with a contest-winning script that will establish me as a courageous and original writer.What I learned from doing this assignment is that working the outline from front to back and then back to front opened my mind to many deeper layers and possible reveals. It’s still not perfect, but it’s not supposed to be yet. I can’t wait to start the next lesson!
Act One:
Opening: Tammi Jenkins (PJ)engineers a plot to get her husband to fall from a tall ladder which results in his death.
Tammi acts horrified as neighbors rush outside to witness the accident. She scoops a child in her arms to shield the child from the sight of her dead husband oozing blood from his crushed head, but can hardly suppress a satisfied smile.
INCITING INCIDENT: Tammi’s husband’s funeral: Her long-lost high school bestie, Violet Pankowski (AJ) arrives. She then rushes to a ladies’ room, sobbing.
Violet joins Tammi. They cover their mouths, giggling – Tammi is free of the burden of the hubbie.
Tammi and Violet talk with Tammi’s neighbor. Violet lives the Valhalla retirement village. Neighbor suggests perhaps that would be a good move for Tammi. A mysterious smile on Violet’s face.
Next day: Tammi checks the website of the Valhalla Retirement Village – a home is for sale.
Violet is in Valhalla’s community room with the quilting club, the youngest of the group. She and the women hustle to the window and watch a moving truck pull up to a house.
A car pulls up behind the moving truck,Tammi exits the car, looks around – she sees Violet and the women staring at her. Tammi happily waves.
Violet waves back, that same mysterious smile..
Tammi moves into the retirement village where Violet lives. The youngest residents, they quickly see the opportunity to become leaders of the pack, but Violet secretly seethes at Tammi’s arrival.
Tammi’s house, she and Violet share a joint. Tammi ‘s thinks a great idea would be to start the same type of fun they had in high school. And by the way, Tammi wants to meet the Valhalla weed dealer.
Violet takes Tammi to the quilting group. The quilts all bear witchcraft symbols – Violet’s idea and refreshments are weed brownies – all Violet’s idea. Yet the quilters do little more than sew and bitch over old age.
Tammi meets Maynard Christensen in his back yard, tending pot plants. As they strike up a conversation Violet hurries toward them – he’s Violet’s boyfriend and Valhalla’s weed dealer.
Later, Maynard’s house, the three get high and laughingly talk of putting the quilters out of their old age misery. Violet and Maynard share that mysterious smile
After Violet leaves, Maynard takes a photo of a high school boy from a desk drawer and talks of the set up that’s in place.
Turning Point: Violet invites Tammi to accompany her while she “babysits” a grouchy man with dementia – he’s fucking awful. Oops, when the man stands at the top of the basement stairs, Tammi gives him a little push. It’s over for him.ACT TWO: NEW PLAN: Tammi and Violet perform an elaborate ceremony in which they declare themselves the mavens of mercy and pledge to put residents who have lost the will to live out of their misery. Tammi thinks she’s in charge.
Maynard watches from outside and secretly videos the ceremony.
Plan in Action: Tammi’s surprise, Violet orchestrates the death of a woman's aging pet.
Tammi finds a way to give the pet’s owner a pill overdose, confident will look like a suicide.
At the Woman’s funeral, Tammi and Violet hear the talk all over again about everyone hating old age.
Tammi sets her sights on a woman in an electric wheelchair, distracts her so she speeds over a curb and is hit by a bus.
Violet secretly videos the event, acts jealous that Tammi didn’t let her in on the plot
Violet steals a bracelet from another resident and gives it to Tammi as a birthday gift.
Tammi wears the bracelet to the quilting group. The resident recognizes her bracelet and accuses Tammi of being a thief. Tammi insists she found it on a sidewalk and returns the bracelet.MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: To spite Violet, Tammi seduces a more than willing Maynard.
Later, Maynard and Violet share a private laugh over Tammi’s actions. But Violet agrees to act jealous.
Maynard emerges from under Tammi’s car, but we don’t know why.
To further spite Violet, Tammi brings doctored candy to the quilting group. A collective puke stains all those quilts.
Later, at a quilting contest, viewed by Violet and Tammi the puke stains add abstract interest. One of the quilts wins.
Angry Tammi speeds away from the contest. Her brakes go bad and she hits the contest winner.ACT THREE: Another funeral – talk of funerals now being Valhalla residents social life.
Maynard insinuates Tammi purposely knew her brakes were bad and intentionally put the woman’s life in danger.
Tammi repairs her brakes herself – realizes they were tampered with.
Tammi invites Violet to dinner at her house. Violet coerces Tammi into a restaurant meeting, saying they deserve a night free of cooking.
At the restaurant, a meeting over whether or not they should team up and make Maynard their next target.TURNING POINT: Tammi drugs Maynard before they have sex but before he passes out Maynard discovers a lump on Tammi’s breast.
Maynard’s passed out. Tammi snoops through his belongings, finds a prom photo of Violet and a boy – Maynard’s son? Didn’t he commit suicide? But that lump has her distracted.Act Four:
Ultimate Expression of the Conflict: Tammi is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly, she has a whole new attitude over thinking she has the right to take the lives of others.
Tammi tries to hide her diagnosis from Violet, but prodded by Maynard, Violet impersonates Tammi on a phone call to Tammi’s doctor and learns the truth.
Violet talks with Maynard – she should simply perform a maven of mercy act on Tammi – after all, what she got to live for now? Maynard wants Tammi’s death to be spectacular in some way.
Tammi confronts Violet about her brakes being tampered with? Who would do that? Does it remind Violet of anything from their past? Who is Maynard anyway? Vilet remains mum, goes off to the quilting club.
Tammi enters the community room to see that the quilts will be hung in exhibition. A quilter asks Tammi to please climb a ladder and help secure a quilt to a rafter.
Reluctant, Tammi agrees. When on top of the ladder she is surrounded by the quilters and Violet. Violet reminds Tammi of prom, how Tammi was jealous that Violet went to prom with Tammi’s former boyfriend.
Maynard arrives, asks Tammi if she didn’t tamper with the brakes of the boyfriend? Wasn’t she responsible for his death?
Tammi realizes she’s the victim of an elaborate plot Is this all revenge for the boy’s death? Maynard informs Tammi the boy was his son. Finally, karma caught up with Tammi.
Tammi pleads with the quilters to help her out, but –
The quilters inform Tammi that those witchcraft and satanic designs on their quilts aren’t by accident. They’ve been waiting for years for a human sacrifice of their choice? Violet has been waiting for decades to get even with Tammi for Tammi always insisting that Violet follow her lead.
Violet pushes the ladder over. Tammi’s head lands on a cement block strategically placed by Maynard.
Tammi’s funeral – The quilters might hate old age, but they’re still alive, so maybe it’s time to start a whole new bunch of quilts while Violet searches for their new victim.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by Pat Fitzgerald.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by
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James’ New Outline Beats!
My Vision: I am a great writer who is recognized by the industry as an exceptional collaborator able to elevate any project into production and have maximum success.
What I learned from doing this assignment is…by working on the plotting the storylines became clearer and they managed to serve the protagonist’s journey. I still have to mine further for the specific scenes that will link or connect the current beats.
Act 1: Ethan wants to find true love by Valentine’s Day.
Opening: Introduce Ethan as a lovable but awkward bachelor, desperate to find love. He’s at a New Year’s party hoping his date shows up, but doesn’t.
Ethan’s close friend, Albert, surprises him the next day and witnesses a depressed man. Albert suggests an online dating site given Ethan is a tech enthusiast and the analytical type.
Ethan gets several requests to meet from an interesting array of women; feels overwhelmed and chooses not to meet any of the women.
Inciting Incident: the success of the dating site causes Ethan to hire Joey, a tech genius, to bring order to his fortune; she’s hired for a short duration. He wants to find true love by Valentine’s Day (The Ticking Clock).
Ethan and Joey work on his profile as she “maximizes” the algorithm.
Comedy: Ethan goes on multiple dates and meets women who are eccentric and some who are downright bizarre.
The meet-cute: Ethan meets Lily and subtle sparks fly as they appear to hide an aspect of their lives. That said, they have an enjoyable time together.
DEEPER LAYER: Ethan has already found true love as Lily has been following his life through the letters he has left behind, but doesn’t know it yet.
Turning Point 1: Ethan begins to question the authenticity of the connections he's making online, but believes he may have a future with Lily, one of the newfound potential prospects.
Relationship set-up: Ethan wants to go on more dates with Lily. She’s the hope he has for his love life; he has a connection with her due to the following from one of his letters.
DEEPER LAYER: Lily comes across as knowing Ethan well on their first few dates.
Act 2: Ethan wants to pursue Lily who could be the one.
New plan: Ethan seeks help from Joey to manage his online dating chaos; wants no more dates for now.
Joey finds out that her children’s father who’s on trial may not be acquitted from felony charges.
The journey of love: Joey becomes more attracted to Ethan putting a wrench in his pursuit of Lily. Joey starts developing feelings for Ethan, creating a complex love triangle, and adding tension to their professional relationship.
Ethan goes on an all-day date with Lily. He learns more about her as she correctly “guesses” many details of his life.
Plan in action: Ethan begins to develop genuine feelings for Lily, a potential girlfriend.
Lily decides Ethan is better for her than Max. Max is the estranged and clinging ex who is very possessive; she asks him to get lost.
Issues: Lily’s ex, Max, is still in her life as he refuses to let her go. He becomes an antagonist in Ethan’s quest for love. Max is manipulative and vengeful, using his tech skills to create chaos in Ethan’s life.
Midpoint Turning Point: Ethan's online escapades catch the attention of Max, an internet troll and Lily’s ex, who launches a smear campaign against him.
Separation: Lily catches Joey on top of Ethan in a heated moment; Lily now has distrust for Ethan as he attempts to explain.
Act 3: Ethan must find a way for Lily to have total trust in him.
DEEPER LAYER REVEAL: Lily tells Ethan she’s known about him for a while but wanted to make sure he’s the real man portrayed by his letters.
Rethink everything: Max reveals himself as the mastermind behind Ethan's new viral profile. Max confronts Ethan and tells him to back off.
Comedy: Numerous women continue to pursue Ethan as he’s an online sensation.
Issues: Ethan doesn’t know how to handle the constant influx of women in his life.
Lily’s Dilemma: Lily must choose between blindly competing for Ethan’s affection without knowing the full truth or taking a step back to gain clarity. Both choices seem to risk her chance at genuine love.
DEEPER LAYER: Ethan realizes he and Lily were meant for each other. All their actions were made for the purpose of solidifying their relationship.
Ethan writes Lily a letter from the heart to salvage things.
New plan: Ethan must confront Max and expose his deception to win Lily's heart.
Turning Point 2: Huge failure / Major shift: Lily breaks away from Ethan due to his supposed new online sexually charged persona. She receives the new letter but doesn’t open it.
Dilemma: Ethan is faced with two equally unacceptable choices: give up on love due to the chaos caused by Max and Joey, or confront Max and risk further humiliation. He feels he might lose Lily no matter what he does. Perhaps Albert’s the sounding board.
Joey must decide whether to continue pursuing Ethan or support him in winning Lily’s heart. Joey is torn between their own feelings for Ethan and helping him reconcile with Lily.
Act 4: Ethan and Lily reach understanding and move forward as a couple.
Joey steps back and helps Ethan confront Max, putting their own feelings aside for the greater good. This act of selflessness becomes Joey’s ultimate conflict resolution.
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict: Ethan confronts Max and exposes his manipulation, proving his love for Lily is genuine. Perhaps Ethan turns the tables on Max.
The journey of love: Ethan and Lily truly fall for each other; they’re meant to be together. It happens consequently on Valentine’s Day.
Joey reunites with the father of her children given he’s found not guilty. They have a reconciliatory dinner on Valentine’s Day.
Resolution: Ethan and Lily embark on a genuine relationship, free from Max's influence. They go out on the town on Valentine’s Day.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by James Hernandez.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by
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RAMSAY – Module 4 – Lesson 5: Character Action Tracks 5.26.24
Based on the character profiles, journeys, and four-act structure, here are specific actions Michaela (Mic) can take in each act that are unique to her character. Each action is tailored to her traits, motivations, and the unique dynamics of the story.
Act 1: Establishing Motivation and Conflict
Action 1: Undercover Takedown
• Details: During an undercover operation with the cartel, Mic reacts with a risky solo takedown of terrorists she is transporting after they attempt to rape her. Her disheveled young appearance and casual demeanor gave them a false sense of security before she struck with brutal efficiency, showcasing her combat skills and deep-seated anger.
• Character-Specific: Mic’s actions highlight the lack of concern for her safety and her pushing boundaries to accomplish her mission. She is driven by unresolved trauma and anger caused by her sister’s murderer, Carlito Bonino, and her goal of killing him.
Action 2: Confronting Authority
• Details: After the operation is over, Mic’s confrontation with her superiors, is intense and angry. She openly challenges their decisions and defiantly refuses to accept her demotion.
• Character-Specific: Her abrasive nature and disregard for what others think come to the forefront, demonstrating her obsessive focus on her own mission.
Action 3: Reluctant Mentor
• Details: Despite her personal turmoil, Mic gives love advice to her teen neighbor, Hannah, showcasing a rare moment of vulnerability and kindness typically masked by her hardened exterior.
• Character-Specific: This interaction reveals Mic’s hidden compassion and protective instincts, hinting at her internal struggle between vengeance and protecting the innocent. When Mic realizes she may be responsible for Hannah’s online interaction with a sex trafficking groomer, Hannah is abducted. Mic accepts her demotion to human trafficking.
Act 2: Entering the Fray
Action 4: Reluctant Alliance
• Details: Mic’s first assignment is tracking down a Godly vigilante. Instead of arresting him, she reluctantly agrees to join forces, driven by her need to find Hannah. She clarifies she’s doing this for Hannah, not out of any newfound sense of justice. Vigilante agrees.
• Character-Specific: Mic’s decision to team up with someone she initially distrusts emphasizes her pragmatic approach and her singular focus on her goals, even if it means compromising her principles.Action 5: Tactical Operations
• Details: During the search for Hannah, Mic employs military-style tactics to take down cartel operatives, showcasing her offensive skills and strategic mindset. She leads several high-risk actions, demonstrating her relentless pursuit of her goals.
• Character-Specific: These operations underscore Mic’s indestructible presence and obsessive personality, illustrating her willingness to endanger herself for the mission.
Action 6: Moment of Vulnerability
• Details: Mic has a private moment where she reflects on her sister’s death, revealing her vulnerability and crisis of faith. This is a rare glimpse into her internal pain, seen only by the vigilante. His counseling softens Mic to reconsider her faith in God.
• Character-Specific: This moment shows her internal conflict and deep-seated emotional wounds, adding depth to her tough exterior. But emotional change won’t be easy for Mic.
Act 3: Heightened Stakes and Confrontations
Action 7: Strategic Deception
• Details: Mic devises a plan to infiltrate Carlito’s inner circle by posing as a high-value cartel ally, using her disheveled appearance and street-smart tactics to gain their trust. This requires her to suppress her rage and act with calculated coldness.
• Character-Specific: This action leverages Mic’s ability to play a role, get close to Carlito, and manipulate situations to her advantage, reflecting her adaptability.
Action 8: Confronting Carlito
• Details: Mic engages in a series of tactical battles with Carlito and his men, using her intimate knowledge of his operations to sabotage key points. She confronts Carlito directly but prioritizes damaging his empire over personal revenge for now.
• Character-Specific: Her tactical prowess and personal vendetta drive these actions, demonstrating her strategic mindset and the tension between her need for revenge and her duty to rescue Hannah, stop the cartel drug transaction, and finally kill Carlito.
Action 9: Moral Crossroads
• Details: Faced with the opportunity to kill Carlito, Mic hesitates, torn between her desire for vengeance and her need to save Hannah. This moment of hesitation allows Carlito to escape temporarily, but it solidifies Mic’s internal conflict.
• Character-Specific: This hesitation highlights her internal struggle and growth as she prioritizes the greater good over personal revenge.
Act 4: Climax and Resolution
Action 10: Ultimate Sacrifice
• Details: In the final confrontation, Mic has Carlito at her mercy. She’s prepared to kill him but realizes that doing so would jeopardize Hannah’s rescue. She chooses to spare Carlito and save Hannah, showing her ultimate growth.
• Character-Specific: This action signifies Mic’s character arc completion, where she chooses justice and protection over personal vengeance, reflecting her internal reconciliation with her past trauma.
Action 11: Overpowering Carlito
• Details: As Carlito attempts to kill Hannah, Mic steps in and uses all her skills to overpower him without killing him, showing her control over her anger and her commitment to saving lives. But Carlito is relentless and forces Mic to kill him.
• Character-Specific: Her ability to subdue Carlito without giving in to her rage demonstrates her final transformation and adherence to her values despite the intense personal stakes.
Action 12: Final Redemption
• Details: In the aftermath, Mic offers Carlito a chance at redemption, embodying the forgiveness she’s struggled with throughout the story. When Carlito rejects it violently, she ensures he cannot harm anyone again but does so with a sense of justice rather than revenge.
• Character-Specific: This action encapsulates Mic’s journey from vengeance to redemption, showing her growth and resolving her internal conflict.
By integrating these specific actions into each act, Mic’s journey becomes compelling and unique, driven by her distinctive traits, motivations, and the complex dynamics of the story. -
Lee’s New Outline Beats
My Vision: I am a writer who is excellent, recognized as such by people in the industry, and has several projects sold for WGA-type fees and some of those produced and successful in the theater and/or on a major streamer.
What I learned while doing this lesson is that, besides plot holes, my beat sheet is really lacking in emotional moments, and a whole bunch of stuff that would make it truly special. Hopefully will be taken care of in coming lessons.
TOUGH ASSIGNMENT – Plot-Hole filling Beat Sheet
ACT 1 – A HIKE TURNS INTO A DISASTER
PJ1 – A war scene in Afghanistan. Kellen picks off Taliban with a sniper rifle while civilians hurry to waiting trucks. Confusion, explosions, a real mess—not enough room for everybody.
OR – Kellen whips through a very difficult “American Ninja” style course in the early morning, that includes shooting at targets with various weapons, etc., then finishes at her cabin…
AJ1 – Gabriel Knox and others hike into an old mining camp in Sierra Nevada foot hills. A dozen people, armed to the teeth plus 4 Asians. The Asians are dressed like PG&E workers.
PJ2 – Kellen awakes from her dream, heads out of her cabin into a large Outdoor Education complex, heads for the dining hall with students, counselors.
– She has to talk with a student about not going on the enrichment trip that they’ll be going on that day—he’s going home instead, disciplinary enforcement.
AJ2 – Knox and crew stash ammo, explosives, weapons in the mine. Asians go to an electrical substation behind the mining camp.
– Kellen’s eating breakfast—yummy cinnamon rolls—when she’s called away to the phone.
PJ 3 – Mara Jenson, Kellen’s former comrade, now in cybersecurity calls. Some kind of cyber/physical attack on electrical grid is imminent. Kellen’s too busy to talk.
– Mara specifically wants Kellen to check out a PG&E substation nearby. Kellen says she’ll see. She’ll be up there later, but will have students and counselors with her.
PJ4 – Two counselors bring Kellen’s group to her, 7 students. One counselor is Jesse, her nephew, the other Allison.
– Kellen banters with the students. It’s evident that she’s really good with kids, but maybe not so much with her nephew.
– DEEPER LAYER: Kellen’s been absent from Jesse’s life for years—and he’s very bitter about it.
AJ3 – The guy who runs the mining camp shows up. Knox kills him when he won’t just go away. The body’s stashed in the old mine.
PJ5 – Kellen leads her group through the woods. They talk about gold-panning, seeing the old mine, etc.
INCITING INCIDENT – Kellen’s group arrives at the mine, see Gabe’s group there. She knows Gabe, senses danger. She and kids start to leave, but someone sees the body, screams. Kids run, but are captured by Gabe’s men, Kellen and Allison escape, but Allison is shot, killed as they run.
– DEEPER LAYER: Knox’s men were left behind in Afghanistan in same incident that was in Kellen’s dream.
TURNING PT. 1 – Kellen contacts the Outdoor Camp. They call in the Sheriff. She covers Allison’s body, burns with anger, revenge.
– Kellen sees flashbacks of a woman shot from behind while trying to escape in Afghanistan.
PJ6 – Kellen calls Mara back, gets more details. There seem to be a few random attacks on the electrical grid underway, cyber attacks mostly. Kellen tells her what’s happening where she’s at.
AJ4 – Knox orders kids into the mine. Jesse is with them. Knox orders three armed guards, a woman and two guys, to watch them.
AJ5 – Knox and others hunt for Kellen. He finds one of his men dead, his throat slit. Knox calls out—she kills anymore of his men, one of her students dies.
– Kellen cleans a tactical knife in a nearby creek. She hears Knox’s ultimatum, grimaces.
ACT 2 – THE MASSACRE
GC – Sheriff arrives with SWAT team and hostage negotiator. They fan out around the mining camp.
AJ6 – Knox orders his people to break out the “big stuff”. Jesse and kids watch as Knox’s militia assemble grenade launchers, shoulder-fired missile launcher, grab assault rifles with tons of ammo, etc.
AJ7 – Knox “negotiates” with hostage negotiator.
– Kellen sees, hears what’s going on.
– Knox says that he and his men have some work to get done there. As long as they’re not interfered with, the kids will live.
– Negotiator says that that’s not possible—he may be engaged in illegal activities and they need to take a look.
– Sheriff’s men continue to surround Knox and men, but Knox sees it all, shows his people where to go while he talks.PJ7 – Kellen sneaks around, tries to find a way to get the kids out before what she knows is coming. She passes by the substation. Asians are carefully setting explosives. One works on a laptop computer. There’s a dead man in a PG&E outfit near that one.
– DEEPER LAYER – The Asians talk in Korean, a language Kellen is familiar with from her Army days. Knox is working with North Koreans!
PJ8 – Kellen snaps pics, texts them to Mara.
AJ8 – Knox calls off negotiations.
Turning Point 2/MIDPOINT – Sheriff’s guys start moving in. Knox gives the order to fire. All Hell breaks loose!
– Kellen dashes through the mayhem and…PJ9 – Kellen reaches the mine shaft, kills the lone guard (others are fighting SWAT). She tells Jesse and kids to stay tight—too dangerous to try to escape at the moment She’s leaving…but will be back. She tells Jesse to wait for a diversion that she’ll try to create, then slip out. No one’s to be left behind.
GC – SWAT is utterly destroyed. Sheriff backs off.
ACT 3 – RESCUE
PJ10 – Kellen heads back to her cabin at the Outdoor School. The place is on lockdown—feels deserted. She gears up with her old sniper rifle, a pistol, and some ammo that she keeps in hidden places.
– She finally is able to read Mara’s text back. Cyber attacks have stopped in other places. Do whatever she can to stop the Koreans (she confirms that), then take down Knox. Somehow, it’s all an inside job.
AJ9 – Gabriel consults with Koreans. Their work is nearly done “the code is nearly ready to be launched into the service man’s laptop.” But they can’t have more distractions.
– Knox confronts Jesse and the hostages, says it’s time for them to earn their keep.
AJ10 – Gabe orders most of his men to each grab a hostage, use them as a human shield, and patrol the perimeter of the area. He tells the hostages that if they try to escape, they’ll be shot.
– DEEPER LAYER: Knox knows that Kellen’s an ex-Green Beret sniper that had held off Taliban but was forced to leave without his unit.
PJ11 – Kellen returns, picks off some of Knox’s men despite their human shields. Kids run away as Jesse had instructed them if they had the chance.
– DEEPER LAYER: Kellen struggles mightily with her aim. Each time, she sees an Afghan child held back by a US Marine not letting them get onto a helicopter or truck.
GC – Koreans finish their job, begin uploading malware code into the PG&E system.
AJ11 – Knox gears up to protect the substation, orders any other men to drop their human shield and get to the substation.
TURNING POINT 3 – Kellen gets there first, battles Koreans. Computer continues to upload.
ACT 4 – An electrifying climax…and sobering resolution
CLIMAX – Kellen finishes off Koreans as they set off charges, blow up the substation. Live wires everywhere. A couple of Knox’s men get zapped, Kellen takes care of others.
Aj12/PJ12 – Kellen faces Knox, they battle it out furiously. as this happens…
GC – Jesse appears, having escaped the cave. Kellen yells to him to find the computer, destroy it. He braves live wires, finds it—the upload’s nearly done. He tries to stop it by shutting down the computer, but it doesn’t work. He finally just smashes it with a rock.
GC/AJ/PJ13 – Kellen gets the upper hand on Knox as they settle scores old and new. She finally pins him down, says he’ll look real good in orange. Knox laughs, says he’ll just get off in a trial—didn’t she know how rigged the system was? She lets him go, he grabs a gun, fires wildly at her. She shoots him dead. “That’s for Allison” she intones.
RESOLUTION: CA is safe, but the rest of the country???
PJ14 – Kellen finds her phone when it rings nearby. It’s Mara Jenson.
GC – PG&E had isolated the substation from their grid, and the malware hadn’t quite made it into the system, so just a few other substations went down when theirs blew—no massive power outage. Things are suspicious, though, the way the other attacks just suddenly stopped.
PJ15 – Kellen and Jesse are hailed as a heroes at the school, the students all go home after a moment of silence to remember Allison.
– Kellen and Jesse have a new closeness. He says he might like to work there after HS or while going to college. She’s all for it, but worries about the rest of the country…
The End
From End to Beginning…Notes
– For Kellen and Jesse to have a new closeness, they’ll have to be shown in a number of icy situations beforehand.
– There’s a problem with just a moment of silence for Allison.
– I’m not really satisfied with Kellen’s internal journey yet. Her flashbacks to war, etc.
– I’d like the kids to have some personality and not just be “token children.” Need to make at least one more of a supporting character in the story.
– Not sure yet if there’s enough action to be an action film OR thrills and suspense to be a thriller. Must clarify those instances, or create more or new ones that fit with the overall plot—or change the plot???
– I’d like this to be appear as a small, localized event with no national/international implications, BUT enough clues to make someone sharp like Kellen and Mara to wonder if it wasn’t some kind of inside job.
– For the Koreans part to work, there needs to be clarification as to the stakes of NOT stopping them.
– I’m hoping that in future lessons, I can build in the emotions that are NOT here yet.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by Lee Tidball.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by
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Kathryn’s New Outline Beats
I choose to be a highly creative and energized writer who makes big movies and loves her life working with the most creative people in the world.
What I learned: I am playing with moving my midpoint reveal to the 3rd turning point. Regardless of whether I keep that or not, playing around with it in AI led me to come up with a really emotional beat for the ending that will make it really powerful.
Beginning:
Japheth Bridges, an unassuming, bespectacled biohacker, and his team infiltrate Medinano, a powerful biotech firm, using a cover as waste disposal workers. Mocked for his need to wear glasses, Japheth endures the cruelty and disregard with which people from the Dregs are treated. Moments later, we find out that the glasses are actually high-tech devices which Japheth skillfully uses to navigate the facility with guidance from Dr. Alice Bennett, their mentor. His sister Nell hacks the security and opens door she shouldn’t be able to – then, sequestered in a server room, she guides Japheth up a garbage chute, and he uses genetically enhanced strength to shimmy up as she opens gates for him. At one stop he’s able to grab a batch of syringes filled with brand new nanotech. At the next he leaves a device that will allow a remote connection to the computers inside. Expecting to pick up a package at his next stop, he finds a scientist who says he’s coming too – along with the tech he’s stolen. Japheth was not warned about this, but the scientist insists that he won’t be able to get out any other way, and that Dr. Bennett needs what he has. When he climbs into the chute with Japheth, we see his dead colleague on the floor. Halfway down, alarm bells start ringing. Japheth has to do an on-the-fly installation of the new nano on Nell so they can get away. She insists that he gives her the nano, to shut all her bodily functions down so she appears dead and can go out the garbage chute and they pick her up after they exit. When they wake her, she starts doing everything they say, to a dangerous point.
Inciting Incident:
Japheth's investigation into Nell's new enhancements reveals mind-control programming hidden in Medinano's tech. Eager to alert Dr. Bennett and enlist her help, he is stung when he receives only her dismissal and a warning to stay silent. They spend a sleepless night arguing about what to do and watching news reports claiming that the scientist they helped escape, Dr. Kuthrapali, is a dangerous terrorist.
Turning Point 1:
Convinced of the urgency, Japheth and his team return to Dr. Bennett’s lab to confront her, only to find Medinano investigators searching the place. Accused of espionage and facing arrest, they barely escape, now fugitives.
Act 2:
Fleeing Medinano’s forces, the team doubts Dr. Bennett’s loyalty and sets out to find her. Dr. Bennett, meanwhile, has gone underground with Dr. Kuthrapali to work on a mysterious project. The biohackers' images are manipulated and broadcast throughout the Dregs, labeling them as dangerous terrorists. While hiding in the Dregs, the team is ambushed by Medinano agents. They must navigate the treacherous, maze-like alleyways of their home turf, eventually seeking refuge and resources in an underground tech bazaar. Medinano forces storm the bazaar, leading to a high-octane chase through crowded, neon-lit streets and alleys filled with illicit tech vendors and mercenaries.
Turning Point 2/Midpoint:
Tracking down Dr. Bennett, they confront her, only to be attacked by her operatives. They barely escape, learning that Dr. Bennett has a personal vendetta against Medinano due to her past – she was arrested for helping the poor pirate Medinano tech and left her wife and daughter behind in the Uppers. She now has a granddaughter she’s never even met. Japheth feels guilty for suspecting her, but he begs her to help him expose Medinano’s evil plot. She tells him that he is like a son to her and she already feels guilty for endangering him as she has. She tells him she is leaving the Dregs and heading to Canada, where she thinks they may still have some form of socialized medicine and she might be able to help people there.
Act 3:
Japheth’s moral struggle peaks as he considers doing nothing and allowing Medinano to have its way—how much worse could it get in the Dregs anyway? But Nell reminds him of their parents and how much they sacrificed for them, prompting the group to plan an infiltration of Medinano’s main facility to expose Medinano’s schemes. Their previous covers blown, the team decides that the easiest way into the facility will be through the door that is exclusively reserved for upper management, requiring them to disguise themselves as Medinano executives. A high-tension infiltration scene unfolds as their skills are put to the test, but they are all able to enter, except the very last one, Japheth’s love interest, who is held back at the last minute. They are forced to go on without her. They soon learn that Japheth’s love interest, rather than being captured, was turning herself in and betraying them, leading to another team member’s death and their capture.
Turning Point 3: Facing enhancement removal, including Nell’s mobility, they seize an escape opportunity when people start having seizures. Examining them, Japheth realizes that Dr. Bennett has used his code to create a virus that seems to be targeting everyone with Medinano enhancements. Hacking Medinano’s system from within, they find a perfect escape route, but choose to help stop the virus instead of fleeing. Japheth’s realization that his own code is spreading the virus helps him slow down its spread. Using Medinano’s own mind-control technology, they force the Medinano CEO to help them. Meanwhile, Nell slips some code of her own into the Medinano system.
Act 4 Climax: In a climactic battle, the biohackers use their knowledge to slow the spread of the virus, and track down Bennett as she attempts to protect her own family from the coming destruction—giving them the code they need to stop the virus altogether. But ultimately they have to call on the people in the Dregs – who have all been treated by Dr. Bennett and given a preventative, to come donate blood to the people in the Uppers. As Nell’s secret code is creating a live broadcast of events in real time, the people are watching and start to do this on their own. This leads not only to the biohackers exoneration, but a new understanding between the people of the Uppers and the Dregs.
Resolution: Japheth and Nell, now wary but hopeful, commit to protecting humanity from technological abuses and working toward a more equitable future. Since the conspiracy spans the globe, with sleeper agents already in key positions in major governments, the final act involves coordinating with international biohacker cells to dismantle Medinano’s influence worldwide. Dr. Bennett faces a life sentence, and societal transformation begins with the biohackers at the forefront, heralding a new era of equality and justice.
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David Z’s New Outline Beats!
Vision:
I am an interesting, dependable, successful writer that people love to work with.What I learned from doing this assignment is once you have the full outline it's easier to go back and lay in the events that have to happen as precursors which makes for a complete and compelling story
HORROR ELEMENTS – LAY IN MORE SURPRISES, SCARES AND DEATH THROUGHOUT
ACT ONE
Chris needs to see and hear visions earlier on so when he succumbs to them we know he has no choice.
We need to see that the addicts who are left in the town are willing to kill for another high so when we get all the hallucinations and killings at the end we’ve laid that in already.
The black limousine drives slowly by the cemetery which is like a black cloud we see frequently… it threatens Mick inside and out every time he sees it.
Customer runs out and is killed… we know they can’t escape.
ACT TWO
Decide when to reveal that Tessa abused drugs… maybe for her anxiety. That she’s risking her sobriety as well as her life and future by rescuing Chris.
Decide how much to reveal about Mick sacrificing his friends and life to get ahead and become famous.
He knows he can keep using his charm and looks to get what he wants.
ACT THREE
The hell creates reality for everyone. Chris thinks he doesn’t want to leave and Tessa is falling apart… her reality is crumbling and Chris has become a total asshole under the influence.
Go back and forth… like in the Matrix… to show how they’re suffering in the Diner and have to be brought back.
They bring Tessa back before she can get Chris to agree to come and she needs to go back and be even stronger than she was.
Drug addicts waiting outside to kill them. Girlfriend dies when she runs outside… or customer…
ACT FOUR
Has to be the violent fight… Tessa almost dies… people in the diner are gone.
After getting Chris to come to his senses he can come back.
Does Mick shoot up to save them or to punish himself? Has a seizure – gives up on life after the guilt of what he’s done.
Chris and Tessa need to decide that enough people have died… Does Mick try to save them? Does he stop Tessa from shooting up again? Does he grab the needle from her so she can’t do it again? Does she want to go back to save someone else… Withdrawals? How else is the drug a killer?-
This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by David Zelitzky.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by
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Margaret’s New Outline Beats!
My Vision: To write profound faith-based screenplays that are produced.
What I learned: I had lots of holes! My beat sheet went from 2.5 pages to 3.5 pages!
New Outline Beats:
Basic Beat Sheet:
Grandma SC 1 (Support Character): Jabin’s grandmother has a traumatic nightmare about a baby being attacked three times. On the 3rd attack, she cried out to heaven and help arrived, driving the bear away.
Jabin PJ 1: Jabin is a determined and ambitious college senior, shares his dreams to graduate and start a career at Raytheon with the family at Christmas. Talks about finding a church he can play the guitar at again. He is optimistic and focused on his future. He complains of back pain but no one is overly concerned.
Jabin PJ 2: Back at the school dormitory, Jabin experiences acute pain. Heads to the ER alone, no family or other support.
Jabin PJ 3: Inciting Incident/ TP 1: Jabin receives a terminal cancer diagnosis (Testicular Carcinoma) from Dr. Morgan, throwing his future into uncertainty, with a life-and-death struggle, and starting his internal battle with despair and fear.
Dr. Morgan AJ 1: Dr. Morgan delivers Jabin’s terminal diagnosis, stating he has tumors throughout his body, in his brain, abdomen, and lungs. initiating the central conflict between his medical realism and Jabin’s aspirations by telling him to give up his dreams for graduating and focus on getting well.
Act 2: Jabin continues with school despite his illness, goes into remission, and rekindles a relationship with Becca.
Jabin PJ 4: Jabin is moved to a cancer house, and has no hope for life stating, “So this is where I die…” Night is filled with terror at another brain tumor patient pacing the halls, trying the doors…
Grandma SC 2: Grandma is up all-night praying for Jabin.
Jabin PJ 5: Jabin tells his parents he will not give up school. They support him by joining him at the cancer house and transport him to classes.
Jabin PJ 6: Jabin’s birthday, goes to sperm bank before chemo but finds he is already sterile.
Jabin PJ 7: Jabin has laser surgery and chemo. He has a reality check as he loses his ability to walk, write and play the guitar. His parents see his failing health, try to encourage him but are devastated.
Jabin PJ 8: Jabin is depressed, throws up in class, has teachers tell him he might not make it. He has to decide if he will pass 5 classes with missed attendance and backed up on homework due. Date to decide whether to drop or go forward. He doesn’t drop classes.
Grandma SC 3: Dreams a boat sailed without her, feeling sad. Woke up praying that Jabin’s faith would be strengthened, that he would graduate, have a ministry with his guitar once again.
Becca TC (Triangle Character) J1: Becca reconnects with Jabin (high school sweetheart) when she learns about his terminal diagnosis, reigniting her feelings and determination to support him. She is in AZ at a different college, they originally met in Seattle.
Jabin PJ 9: Jabin’s labs show remission. He struggles to finish his graduation classes and plans a celebration cruise with parents and begins house hunting in Tucson.
Becca TCJ2: Becca applies for a job in Tucson, where Jabin’s new job will be, even though there is no relationship commitment and her family is in Seattle.
Jabin PJ 10: Jabin dates Becca, and overcomes his fear of commitment from his fear of his future and their past relationship (asks her to become his girlfriend).
Dr. Morgan AJ 2: As Jabin goes into remission and graduates, Dr. Morgan begins to see the impact of Jabin’s determination and starts to question his own approach. (His mentor told him he must be detached in medicine.)
Dr. Morgan Ant Reveal: Dr. Morgan has lost a loved one with aspirations to cancer so he struggles to get emotionally involved with the aspirations of his patients.
Midpoint: The cancer resurges, testing Jabin’s resolve and his relationship with Becca as he embraces the uncertainty of his future.
Jabin PJ 11: Jabin puts an offer on a house, plans to start working at Raytheon.
Jabin PJ 12: Jabin’s cancer is back, with 5 active brain tumors. Cruise is cancelled for him, plans to redo laser surgery and chemo while his parents cruise without him. His depression is held at bay by Becca’s support.
Becca TCJ 3: Becca stays with Jabin to support him during chemo, demonstrating her commitment to him, even when he passes out at the waffle house.
Dr. Morgan AJ 3: Dr. Morgan explores alternative treatments, pushing the boundaries of traditional medicine and showing a shift towards supporting Jabin’s personal journey. He must balance treatment options with the risk of giving Jabin false hope. He proposes the risky stem cell therapy, which would take 3 months if cancer recedes with current treatments.
Jabin PJ 13: As Jabin goes into remission, he is faced with a decision. Jabin must choose between his career aspirations (job at Raytheon) and his health, knowing that either choice could lead to significant loss, both his job and new house.
Reveal Corporate Conflict: The HR department offered employment to too many new graduates, causing them to request a start date extension for Jabin, allowing him to undergo treatment (Corporate unaware of Jabin’s cancer).
Jabin PJ 14: Jabin experiences a vision that has impact on his decision (he is to be a light in a dark place.) He decides to go for the stem cell therapy. He accepts his fate and decides to live for God. Just before stem cell therapy, he has COVID.
Jabin Reveal: Jabin picks up the guitar again and is able to play and his mood lifts.
Jabin PJ 15: Jabin proposes to Becca, and faces his fear of seeking her parent’s permission
Becca TCJ 4: Becca must choose between the fear of losing Jabin and the hope of a future together, knowing the pain that either choice could bring. She accepts his proposal.
Becca Reveal: Becca’s last relationship was not healthy, and she has self-esteem issues as a result of this.
Act 3: Jabin plans a wedding, has stem cell replacement therapy, starts work at Raytheon, moves into his new house.
Jabin PJ 17: Stem cell therapy is traumatic, with throwing up, UTI, diarrhea, transfusion. Chaplain arrives, Jabin has him play, “It is well with my soul.”
Jabin PJ 18: Two days before his wedding with Becca, the cancer returns. At the ER he is diagnosed with a pneumothorax, and tumor close to his heart.
Dr. Morgan AJ 4: Dr. Morgan advises that Jabin not go to his wedding in Seattle, that a flight might kill him.
Jabin PJ 19: Jabin decides to trust God with his life and goes to the wedding.
Becca TCJ 5: As Jabin’s cancer returns just before their wedding, Becca confronts the reality of their uncertain future and must find the strength to commit fully.
Act 4: Jabin marries Becca, starts oral chemotherapy.
Becca TC 6: Becca marries Jabin, embracing the uncertainty and cherishing their love. Her unwavering faith and support symbolize the power of love and resilience. They sing about the goodness of God at the wedding.
Dr. Morgan AJ 5: Dr. Morgan faces his own professional burnout and the emotional toll of seeing Jabin’s recurring struggles, leading to a personal crisis about his role as a doctor. He decides to tell Jabin there is no hope, and give him prescription for oral chemo. He gives Jabin a sentence of 6 mo.
Dr. Morgan Ant. Reveal: Not one of Dr. Morgan’s patients with Jabin’s history that was prescribed the oral chemotherapy has survived.
Jabin PJ 20: Jabin embraces each day with gratitude
Grandma SC 4: Grandma on a cruise, praying. Man stops by and says check out a certain verse.
Jabin PJ 21: Jabin’s lab show undetectable HCG. MRI and PET scan confirm no tumors.
Dr. Morgan AJ 6: Dr. Morgan comes to celebrate Jabin’s life and achievements, recognizing the value of faith and personal aspirations in the healing process.
Jabin PJ 22: Jabin joins a church band.
Becca TC 7: Becca has a positive pregnancy test. -
Renee’s New Outline Beats
My Vision: I will be in the top 1% of screenwriters and be known in the industry as an A-list screenwriter who is easy to work with, gets the job done, and never has to worry about the next job.
What I learned from doing this assignment is how difficult it is when you step outside the box. It was incredibly difficult for me to figure out what kinds of scenes need to happen with a dark comedy, but I think I’ve got a good start to my outline.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by Renee Miller.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by
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Linda’s New Outline Beats!
My Vision is: I will do whatever it takes to be a sought-after profound writer who has many successful movies produced and an Oscar on the mantel.
What I learned doing this assignment is I had some logic jumps and isolating them allowed me to solve them pretty quickly.
I isolated my midpoint and realized that the death of my protagonist’s daughter and subsequent killing of the police officer who killed her didn’t feel authentic and had some logic jumps. I fixed that in my outline.
My script is about a competition to succeed the dying kingpin. I realized that some of the actions that my three main characters take weren’t true to their character traits and agendas so I isolated each and developed a strategy for each competitor based on their character profile.
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Madeleine’s New Outline Beats!
Vision: I am going to do whatever it takes for me to be a writer of original, emotionally rich stories, recognized for depth, humor, and enduring impact, resulting
What I learned from doing this assignment is: This exercise was a big help, because coming back from the ending and finding a way to have the ending working, was a big help to fill the plot holes between the middle and the ending. What a big help. I know, it’s not perfect yet, but I continue to uplift.1.1 Opening
Backstage Candy Club
Mary puts on heavy “age-covering” make-up. Mary wants to renew the contract with bar owner Olivia for the next concert season, but Olivia wants to solve the issue after the concert.Performance
Mary focuses on performing but is distracted by thoughts of the contract.Encore
Olivia shouts if Mary wants a drink, and Vince advises against it, but Mary goes for the drink.1.2 Inciting Incident
Fall
Mary falls off the stage while reaching for the drink.Hospital
After the operation, the doctor explains that Mary needs intensive rehab for her hip fracture.Escape
Mary escapes the hospital with a walker.Mary’s Home
Mary arrives at her home, where she bumps into Vince who takes care of her plants but refuses to rehearse if she does not do her rehab.1.3 Turning Point
Elderly Home
Placid sets the rules for Mary, who has to share a room and participate in activities.Book Buddies
Mary is assigned to read to Sophie in the Book Buddies program.Mary’s Demands
Mary meets with Placid and demands preparation for her concert and a single room.Orientation
Placid introduces house activities and rehab schedule; her room isn't ready.2.1 New Plan
Introduction to Sophie
Placid assigns Mary to read to the shy girl Sophie at the Book Buddies club.Reluctant Reader
Mary reads alone while Sophie draws.Chapel Solution
Placid insists if Mary can sing, she can read to Sophie. Mary and Sophie go to the chapel to sing.Double Room Shock
Placid shows Mary her double room, which she shares with Hortense. Mary is shocked and asks to leave, but Placid states she can leave for a wedding or a funeral.Olivia’s Funeral
Mary and Vince attend Olivia’s funeral.2.2 Plan in Action
Overexertion
Mary does extra rehab training, determined to prove she can still perform but overdoes it.Surprise Visit
Dieter makes a surprise visit to see Mary and Vince perform, but Mary has to sit because of her injury. Dieter decides to wait on the contract renewal.Hard Decision
Mary decides to stop extra training and rehearsal to heal.Getting Involved
Mary spends more time with Sophie and other residents, playing cards.Feeling Better
Mary feels better and tells Placid she has a wedding to attend, planning to tell Vince personally to resume rehearsals.Failed Wedding
Mary finds Vince rehearsing with a young singer, leading to an argument.Desperation
Mary realizes she needs a new plan and destroys a picture of herself and Vince.Confusion
Mary wanders around the elderly home, refusing invitations to play cards.To Be or Not to Be
Mary sits alone in the chapel, contemplating her choices, and goes back to her room.2.3 Midpoint
The Marlene Moment
Mary finds a Marlene Dietrich photo in Hortense's room and calls a journalist about her solo program.Article Pitch
Mary shows Placid an article about her comeback and asks to use the concert hall. Placid assumes she wants to perform there, which Mary opposes.Temptation
Mary considers rehearsing in the kitchen, near Julia, the kitchen aid who secretly drinks.Determination
Mary decides to use the kitchen for rehearsals, determined to avoid drinking.Son’s Visit
Mary’s son, Robert, visits, revealing she gave him up for adoption long ago.Impressing Robert
Mary wants to impress Robert by bragging about her upcoming show.Misalignment
Robert seeks a relationship, not career impressiveness.Candy Club
Mary rents the Candy Club, thinking it will impress Robert.3.1 Rethinking
Viral Campaign
Mary makes videos for viral marketing, which Vince and Robert share with the journalist.Negative Article
The journalist writes a critical piece about Mary’s viral campaign, hoping her show will be better.3.2 New Plan
Placid’s Suggestion
Placid suggests performing at the concert hall, but Mary insists on the Candy Club.Tickets Sold
Mary believes she’s victorious when Dieter announces all tickets are sold.3.3 Huge Failure
Hortense’s Ticket
Hortense reveals Placid bought all the tickets, disappointing Mary.Confrontation
Mary learns Vince and Robert were behind the negative article to protect her.4.1 Climax
Torn Decision
Mary is torn between proving herself and performing for genuine appreciation.Climax Decision
Mary decides to perform for the elderly, realizing they are her true audience.Hortense’s Death
Mary uses Hortense’s death as an excuse not to perform. Placid insists she perform for the living. Mary decides to perform for the elderly, realizing they are her true audience.Costume Swap
Sophie swaps her costumes. Mary orders a power cut, performing in normal clothes with a wig. Vince supports her by accompanying on the piano.Electricity Restored
Someone restores power, revealing Mary in normal clothes. The audience chants "Marlene."4.2 Resolution
Embracing True Self
Mary removes her wig, revealing purple hair. They audience chants “Mary”. Accepted by the audience, Mary takes a stage dive.-
This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by Madeleind Gentinetta.
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This reply was modified 11 months, 1 week ago by
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Jan’s New outline beats
My Vision: I am a talented and strong writer with a unique voice, recognized by the movie industry with multiple screenplays produced.
What I learned from this assignment was by adding the connecting and incidental characters, allowed me to explore the two main characters more and get their movements more focused and meaninful.
FINDING OUT AND ACCEPTING WHO YOU REALLY ARE
Act 1: Emberleaf has magic stripped from her when the numinous amulet is shattered
Opening:
• SURFACE LAYER: the halo-moon starts to set
• GENRE CONVENTIONS: mystical worlds and inhabitants, vivid imagery, fantastical creatures
• DEEPER LAYER: Khyber-Ra was Emberleaf’s life unity partner
• DEEPER LAYER: Emberleaf knows dark magic
• DEEPER LAYER: Khyber-Ra was Emberleaf’s life unity partner
EMBERLEAF PJ1: at queen’s council chamber, warns her of the ancient prophecy, that she will be betrayed by someone who threatens her magic abilities, The dark forces are starting their march toward Eveandor
WANDERER/KHYBER-RA AJ0: steps through a portal inside Eveandor, moves toward the castle
EMBERLEAF PJ2: she watches clips -her in a magic fight with Khyber-Ra, her magic trainer; Khyber-Ra on trial for using dark magic; banished from Eveandor
LIGHTTHISTLE CC: announces the wanderer is here to audition for the magic trainer role
KHYBER-RA AJ1: enters and auditions for the new magic trainer
• DEEPER LAYER: Khyber-Ra wants revenge on Emberleaf for banishing him from Eveandor
EMBERLEAF PJ3: auditions a disguised Khyber-Ra for the magic trainer position and he uses dark magic on her, reveals himself
• DEEPER LAYER: Emberleaf was Khyber-Ra’s life unity partner
KHYBER-RA AJ2: reveals himself to Emberleaf, places her in a web spell, demands the numinous amulet
LIGHTTHISLE CC: attacks Khyber-Ra, and is overpowered to the verge of magic drain
KHYBER-RA AJ3: forces Emberleaf to lead him to the numinous amulet
EMBERLEAF PJ4: breaks free from the spell, goes to protect the numinous amulet
Inciting Incident: Khyber-Ra shatters the numinous amulet, Emberleaf is stripped of her magic
EMBERLEAF PJ5: casts another, more powerful banishment spell on Khyber-Ra.
• DEEPER LAYER: prophecy of one betraying her plays out
KHYBER-RA AJ4: as he gets pulled into the banishment portal, lassos the numinous amulet using dark magic and it shatters, getting caught in the banishment spell and scatter across the realm.
EMBERLEAF PJ6: when the numinous amulet shatters, she is stripped of her magic and vulnerable
LIGHTTHISTLE CC: throws a protection spell on Emberleaf takes her to the queen’s council chamberTurning Point: Emberleaf assembles the pixie alliance to find the fragments and restore the numinous amulet
• GENRE CONVENTIONS: epic quest and emotionally resonant with the characters
LIGHTTHISTLE CC: summons the queens of the council
QUEEN’S COUNCIL : collude to have Emberleaf go out into the realm and restore the amulet before the halo-moon cycle ends.
QUEEN Amberlight: recruits Willowbreeze, her advisor
QUEEN Bathblade: recruits her magic trainer Thornwhisper
KHYBER-RA AJ5: tells his protégé, Nightshade, to volunteer for the alliance
KHYBER-RA AJ6: recruits Nightshade, his protégé, to volunteer for the alliance so he can collect the numinous amulet fragments
NIGHTSHADE CC: volunteers to his Queen Cidermoss to join the alliance
QUEEN’S COUNCIL : assemble the alliance and open a portal to the first fragment, they give her a one-time use reverse spell
EMBERLEAF PJ7: weaken from lack of magic, takes the reverse spell
PIXIE ALLIANCE : Nightshade, Willowbreeze, Thornwhisper, and Emberleaf step through the portal and it closesAct 2: Emberleaf and the alliance on their quest for the numinous amulet fragments
New Plan:
• DEEPER LAYER: Emberleaf used dark magic as a child
KHYBER-RA AJ7: on the edge of the forbidden forest, entices the dark beings(?), their time is coming, dark shadow creatures emerge, sends them after the pixie alliance
PIXIE ALLIANCE : come upon the first fragment
EMBERLEAF PJ8: is captured by the dark shadow creatures
PIXIE ALLIANCE : battle the dark shadow creatures, rescue Emberleaf
EMBERLEAF PJ9: retrieves the fragment, gains a bit of her magic and strength back
KHYBER-RA AJ8: conjures up a clinging creature to follow the alliance
• REVEAL: M’Mranth-Jix is Khyber-Ra’s master
• DEEPER LAYER; Khyber-Ra wants to overthrow M’Mranth-Jix
• DEEPER LAYER: Emberleaf’s childhood trauma of the sinking ground surfaces
• SURFACE LAYER: halo-moon dipping closer to the horizon
M’MRANTH-JIX : appears to Khyber-Ra, reminds him of the bigger picture of them ruling together
EMBERLEAF PJ10: tracks the next fragment to the land of the sinking ground, cannot cross
QUEEN’S COUNCIL : they prepare to protect their lands for the encroaching dark shadows, as the halo-moon cycle dips closer to the horizon
EMBERLEAF PJ11: fails to cross the sinking ground, rescued by Willowbreeze
KHYBER-RA AJ9: through the eyes of the clinging creature, sees Emberleaf and the alliance settling in for the night, conjures up prickling beetles
EMBERLEAF PJ12: does a little in her defense, but mostly is protected by the alliance when pricking beetles attack
• SURFACE LAYER; only Emberleaf can get the fragments
KHYBER-RA AJ10; at the sinking ground, cannot grab the amulet fragment, due to him being all dark magic
Plan in Action:
PIXIE ALLIANCE : traverse rough terrain to get to the top of mount Dorchmont, the fragment is out on a precipice floating next to the mountain
EMBERLEAF PJ13: she collects the fragment and the two fuse together, more of her magic returns
• DEEPER LAYER: Nightshade’s false loyalty to the alliance
NIGHTSHADE CC: casts a stasis spell, steals the fragments from Emberleaf while the alliance is sleeping
KHYBER-RA AJ11: meets Nightshade and puts the fused fragment in a geode away from him touching them
EMBERLEAF PJ14: cannot fend off a winged creature, weakened again without the fragments, is picked up and being flown away
NIGHTSHADE CC: intervenes and defeats the winged creature, Willowbreeze is skeptical, too convenient he was awake
PIXIE ALLIANCE : enter the cave of sorrows, the fragment is close, but the cave’s influence affects the group, Nightshade fakes at it, mostly Emberleaf affected, who relives a dark time in her youth, buried deep within her mind
• SURFACE LAYER: the halo-moon is closer to the horizon, casts vibrant purple/indigo colors
EMBERLEAF PJ15: (flashback) she is with Khyber-Ra, playing at magic, she creates a horrendous sea creature, her mother destroys it and seals that memory and compartmentalizes her link to the dark magic
EMBERLEAF PJ16: finds the fragment and they exit the cave
WILLOWBREEZE : comes out and questions Nightshade, who denies being responsible for the missing fragments
KHYBER-RA AJ12: caught on the edge of the encroaching forbidden forests, the barrier weakening as the halo-moon furthers its descent, the creatures are advancing toward Eveandor and the other lands
EMBERLEAF PJ17: Lightthistle comes to Emberleaf in a projection, listen to Willowbreeze, or Eveandor will fall into darkness
Midpoint Turning Point:
WILLOWBREEZE CC: hides behind a tree, while the projection spell she used makes Nightshade think she is asleep.
NIGHTSHADE CC: puts a paralyzing spell on the alliance, and takes the fragment
WILLOWBREEZE CC: catches Nightshade, they have a magic fight, is almost defeated, but Thornwhisper comes to her rescue by catching Nightshade
NIGHTSHADE CC: is caught by Willowbreeze stealing the next fragment, on the verge of defeating her
THORNWHISPER CC: comes to Willowbreeze’s rescue, traps Nightshade along with a weakened Willowbreeze
EMBERLEAF PJ18: with the fragment, uses her minimal magic and banishes Nightshade from the alliance
KHYBER-RA AJ13: rages at Nightshade, only a few fragments left, devise how to get them
NIGHTSHADE CC: lures Emberleaf away from the alliance and captures her, brings her to Khyber-Ra
EMBERLEAF PJ19: is lured and captured by Nightshade
• DEEPER LAYER: Khyber-Ra finds out M’Mranth-Jix is his father
NIGHTSHADE : almost kills Emberleaf in getting the fragment back, M’Mranth-Jix intervenes, only she can get fragments
EMBERLEAF PJ20: is beaten down by Nightshade, is rescued by a whispering phantom and taken into the mystic lakes
• SURFACE LAYER: the halo-moon dips closer to the horizon
• DEEPER LAYER: Emberleaf finds out from her mother she has dark magic in her
PIXIE ALLIANCE : follow Emberleaf into the mystic lakes, are separated and lost in the mistsAct 3: Emberleaf gives in to the prophecy, or so we think
Rethink Everything:
• Gossimerwind is Emberleaf’s mother
GOSSIMERWIND : the whispering phantom is Emberleaf’s mother and warns her she has some of her father in her
• DEEPER LAYER: Emberleaf finds out M’Mranth-Jix is her father
GOSSIMERWIND : Emberleaf’s mother, has a whispering phantom guide her into the forbidden forests
PIXIE ALLIANCE : find their way out of the mystic lakes into Khyber-Ra’s hands
EMBERLEAF PJ21: in the forbidden forests, collects the fragment
M’MRANTH-JIX CC: casts a spell on Emberleaf so she will bring the fragment to Khyber-Ra, uses weakened dark magic to protect herself, tells her he is her father, Gossimerwind gives her life to defend Emberleaf
GOSSIMERWIND : gives her life to get Emberleaf out of the forbidden forests
• DEEPER LAYER: Emberleaf finds out Khyber-Ra is her brother
• SURFACE LAYER: halo-moon almost at the horizon
EMBERLEAF PJ: uses weak dark magic to defend the fragment, much to M’Mranth-Jix’s delight
WILLOWBREEZE/THORNWHISPER CCs: cast a protection spell on her, take her to the sinking ground
• SURFACE LAYER: the halo-moon is at the horizon
• DEEPER LAYER: Khyber-Ra wants to Eveandor, tries to dupe M’Mranth-Jix
KHYBER-RA AJ14: beats down Thornwhisper and Willowbreeze
EMBERLEAF PJ22: at the edge of the sinking ground, starts to cross and her fear gets the best of her, her life force is fading as the halo-moon meets the horizonNew Plan:
QUEEN’S COUNCIL : confront Khyber-Ra to get the near complete amulet, their magic is used against them and are crystalized
M’MRANTH-JIX : pressures Khyber-Ra to complete the amulet before the halo-moon fully sets
KHYBER-RA AJ15: has two dark creatures forcefully escort Emberleaf to cross the sinking ground
EMBERLEAF PJ23: unselfishly, uses the reverse spell and decrystalizes the council
EMBERLEAF PJ24: queen’s council releases the dark creatures and confronts her fears and crosses the sinking ground, gets the fragment, Nightshade captures her
NIGHTSHADE CC: waits for Emberleaf to get the fragment, acts as if he captures her, casts a protection spell on her
KHYBER-RA AJ16: expects Nightshade to give him the last fragment, but is caught by surprise when he snatches the geode from him
NIGHTSHADE : tricks Khyber-Ra and takes the geode from himTurning Point: Huge Failure/Major Shift:
WILLOWBREEZE/THORNWHISPER CC: attempt to protect the fragment
KHYBER-RA AJ17: breaks Nightshade’s protection spell
EMBERLEAF PJ25: turns her back on the alliance, takes the geode and gives it over to Khyber-Ra
• MAJOR REVEAL: M’Mranth-Jix is the one named in the prophecy, not Khyber-Ra
• SURFACE LAYER: halo-moon falls below the horizon
EMBERLEAF PJ26: her life force is all but drained, she drops the fragment into geode, the amulet is complete and in Khyber-Ra’s possession
WILLOWBREEZE/THORNWHISPER CC: feel betrayed by Emberleaf, try to get the amulet away from Khyber-Ra
KHYBER-RA AJ18: has the restored numinous amulet, as the halo-moon cycle sets, creating a magic hour, easily stops Willowbreeze and Thornwhisper from getting the amulet
• SURFACE LAYER; the halo-moon fully sets, thrusting Eveandor into darkness
M’Mranth-Jix : battles Khyber-Ra for the amulet
KHYBER-RA AJ19: battles M’Mranth-Jix to keep control of the amulet
EMBERLEAF27 her wings are curling up, she is dying, cannot get the amulet next to herAct 4: Coming home, but things are different
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict:
WILLOWBREEZE/THORNWHISPER : battle Khyber-Ra for the amulet
LIGHTTHISTLE : gets the amulet into Emberleaf’s body, she begins to decrystalize
EMBERLEAF PJ28: rises up and joins Khyber-Ra in battling M’Mranth-Jix
• DEEPER LAYER: Khyber-Ra plots to take the amulet and rule Eveandor
WILLOWBREEZE/THORNWHISPER/LIGHTTHISTLE : join Khyber-Ra and Emberleaf, defeat M’Mranth-Jix, get him back into his prison
EMBERLEAF PJ29: uses the amulet to get M’Mranth-Jix back into his prison
• DEEPER LAYER: Khyber-Ra shows no emotion as Emberleaf crystalizes
KHYBER-RA AJ20: tricks Emberleaf and takes the amulet
EMBERLEAF PJ30: wings curl up and she begins to crystalize
WILLOWBREEZE/THORNWHISPER : have used up their magic and cannot get the amulet from Khyber-Ra
LIGHTTHISTLE: sacrifices herself, gets crystalized by Khyber-Ra, as she gets the amulet to Emberleaf, reversing the dying effects
EMBERLEAF PJ31: slowly comes back to life
KHYBER-RA AJ21: battles Emberleaf as she rejuvenates
EMBERLEAF PJ32: neutralizes Khyber-Ra’s magic
KHYBER-RA AJ22: makes a last-ditch effort to defeat Emberleaf in a physical battle
EMBERLEAF PJ33: fends off Khyber-Ra’s keeps the amulet as the glowing-sun rises on a new cycleResolution:
EMBERLEAF PJ34: she casts another banishment spell on Khyber-Ra to the forbidden forests
KHYBER-RA AJ23: Khyber-Ra is banished to the forbidden forests
• CHANGES REALITY: Emberleaf now knows she has both dark and light magic abilities and is expelled from the queen’s council
QUEEN’S COUNCIL : is on trial for having and using dark magic, remains queen of Eveandor, given the circumstances but is expelled from the queens council
EMBERLEAF PJ35: is on trial, but not banished from Eveandor, is expelled from the queen’s council for having dark magic inside her
QUEEN Cidermoss : banishes Nightshade from her land
WILLOWBREEZE CC: Amberlight allows her to leave her land to be Emberleaf’s new advisor
NIGHTSHADE CC: is taken in by Emberleaf as her magic trainer
EMBERLEAF PJ36: she includes Willowbreeze as her advisor and shows leniency and takes Nightshade as her magic trainer showing her growth into a more confident and empathetic queen.-
This reply was modified 11 months ago by Jan Westbrook.
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This reply was modified 11 months ago by
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Pam’s New Outline Beats!
Vision: Become a Writing Athlete
What I’ve learned: backwards working
“The Last Resort”, dark comedy where an ousted CEO goes to resort spa with friend only to discover it euthanizes “guests”Act 1:
• Opening – Maia dreams of being awarded as CEO overseeing a successful acquisition
• As the announcer introducers her she sees the truth:
o Announcer – her rise from humble beginning – she sees the poverty and desperation she grew up in – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
o Announcer – always competitive – she sees her arch nemesis taunting her as she fails – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
o Announcer – always willing to go the extra mile – she sees how she scrubbed down the morgue with her parents – she struggles not to vomit – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
o Announcer – she came to build and now she’s here to announce her greatest acquisition – she sees a glowing cloak around her – she lightly pumps her fists to show triumph
• Inciting Incident – as she walks on stage to applause, she sees her nemesis applauding and approaching from the other side of the stage
o Her nemesis reaches the microphone first and explains how his angel investment fund has used the time her company was overleveraged in the acquisition to acquire her company out from under her
o She struggles to speak but she’s surrounded by a white glow that billows into menacing blackness
o Nemesis adds insult to injury saying she showed her backbone as she faints and falls to the floor
• Turning Point – Maia awakens in the white cloak. Still delirious, she gives a soft victory pumps. Then she slumps and Ollie wheels Maia out of a clinic. In the car she remembers her humiliation. Ollie tries to build her up and tells Maia that they are going to a secretive spa that promises to fulfill your every last desire.
• Ollie threatens to check Maia back into clinic if she doesn’t stay for 3 weeks at the spa. (she got Maia out because “they know me there” and blackmailers don’t need to be smart}
• On the drive, Ollie yammers on about the peace of a mental void hinting at death. Maia mentally drifts into nightmares causing Ollie to use a knock out drug on her.Act 2:
• New plan – Maia meets promising Dr. Jeremy as Ollie has driven to the employees entrance. Dr. Jeremey is upset because Maia touches his gross experiments that he is unloading into his new lab at the spa.
• Maia and Ollie are welcomed by Dr. Kari who acts as their concierge. We see a chinch in Dr. Kari’s skin and demeanor as she explains how she found treatments to cure her of her aggressive cancers.
• Maia meets other guests and really hits it off with a vital older woman whom Maia thinks is speaking about peaceful spa life. Later a different meaning about emerges when Maia investigates the guest’s reason for being there.
• Different treatments are assigned by Dr. Kari individualized for them. Seeing her aggressive treatments, Maia asks Ollie what she told them was wrong with her. Dr. Kari makes a special intro to encourage Maia because of her treatment needs.
• Maia tries to embrace the lux accommodations and being pampered, something seems off to her and she keeps being startled. The staff coaxes her that this is an indication of how much she needs to be there.
• Maia bumps into her friend guest at a life-correction therapy and discovers that maybe being passive is not her best therapy – guest won’t take an action with her
• Plan in action – she attempts different therapies but things just don’t add up. Ollie is completely happy.
• Midpoint Turning Point – she suspects Ollie and others are being brainwashed but she doesn’t understand what the purpose is She analyzes what her sessions are telling her and what the end result of her treatment might be.Act 3:
• Rethink everything – Suspicious, Maia breaks into the office to find where her guest friend disappeared to. She hides as Dr. Jeremy breaks in after her. Ollie breaks in on both of them to say someone is coming.
• Dr. Jeremy leads them to cover in the oblation room which is where human tissues are harvested. The other person does not see them. Maia has a psychotic break and Ollie and Dr. Jeremy take her back to her room.
• The next morning Dr. Jeremy tries to talk to Maia but Dr. Kari is keeping him busy. Dr. Kari notices the exchanged glances and invites Maia and Ollie to lunch with her and Dr. Jeremy.
• Over lunch the meal makes Maia ill. Conversation is full of coded double meanings.
• Maia tries to alert Ollie and another guest without success while avoiding the now suspicious Dr. Jeremy and spa owner, Dr. Kari
• New plan – Leave – but she is hallucinating and taken to the clinic in the spa. Dr. Jeremy gives her an antidote, so she is on her feet before Dr. Kari anticipates.
• Dr. Jeremy confides that his sister came here at his suggestion to boost her cancer recovery, instead she died.
• Turning Point: The spa’s euthanizing is revealed. Maia needs to escape. She looks for Ollie.
• It is costume party night at the spa and Maia tries to uncover Ollie. Dr, Kari circles trying to unmask Maia. Huge failure trying to get Ollie to leave but Ollie attacks her. This exposes Maia to Dr. Kari.
• Major shift – breakout failure creates impending demise and capture by Dr. KariAct 4:
• Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Dr. Jeremy seeks to rescue Maia from Dr. Kari but gets knocked out. Ollie becomes surprisingly resourceful but is helping Dr. Kari. Ultimately Maia faces off against Dr. Kari in gruesome use of treatments.
• Dr. Kari tries almost successfully to recruit Maia defending that most people aren’t really alive and welcome a peaceful death. Ollie is oddly resourceful – like she could really be brainwashed with her chemical history!
• Resolution – With Ollie’s help Maia discovers Dr. Kari’s weakness in that she’s wearing dead skin that is susceptible to some of the spa treatments. Behind Dr. Kari, Dar. Jeremy comes to and activates the spa treatment that is Dr. Kari’s weakness. Maia understands and drives Dr. Kari to the treatment. Dr. Kari understands and mocks them that she has cured her susceptibility.
• Maia offers her a chance to live but Dr. Kari is overconfident so rejects amnesty and is nearly killed by her own vanity. In a final decision Maia reverts to making things happen, fights through things she was squeamish about, even using them, and forces Dr. Kari to surrender. AT the last second Dr. Kari’s vanity seeks escape, and she dies in her own Maia-modified treatment.
• Maia is deeply injured and Dr. Jeremy uses one of Dr. Kari’ therapies to treat her.
• New Ways: Maia is the owner of the spa which is revamped as a new hotspot that promises celebrity youthfulness thanks to Dr. Jeremy. Maia and Jeremy have conquered their issues; Dr. Jeremy continues his research; Dr. Kari is dead; Ollie is the new concierge.
One common note on screenplays is, “This plot has holes in it.” The producer may say it directly or they may just stop reading. The great news is that we can solve it before you write a single draft. It is so much easier to solve plotting problems early in the process. -
Terrie’s Beat Sheet – New Outline Beats
What I learned from this assignment is reviewing the outline allowed me to clean up and move things around to improve the flow.
Act 1:
Opening
P2-1: Bill flying in his spaceship comes out hibernation. He breaks the spaceship toilet which causes a series of malfunctions.
P1-1: Misa gets into a heated argument with a customer at the farmer’s market over environmental concerns. The argument escalates involving many at the Farmer’s Market. Deeper layer: do they think some alien is going to come and save the planet, those are movies!
A-1: Deputy Rhoades gets everyone at the farmer’s market to calm down, convinces Misa to go home, maybe drink some herbal tea.
P1-2: Misa goes home and smokes weed.
Deeper layer: Misa’s off the grid home doesn’t look like much on the outside but is well-appointed with the highest quality, environmentally friendly everything.
A-2 Deeper layer: Deputy Rhoades parked beside a road in his cruiser listens to meditation on his personal phone, deep breathing positive self-talk.
Inciting Incident
P1-3 & P2-2: Bill crashes into Misa’s outhouse. Bill REALLY needs a bathroom. Misa thinks it’s all a hallucination, sends him behind a bush and goes along with trying to fix the spaceship with her blow torch. Bill is terrified because of Misa’s nonchalant attitude.
Turning Point
P1-4 & P2-3: In the process of trying to fix the spaceship toilet they trigger a device, which emits a beam that bounces off the outhouse’s broken mirror and they swap bodies. Misa dismisses it as part of her hallucination. Bill panics.
Act 2:
P1-5 & P2-4: New plan – The next morning, they realize the swap has occurred, they both freak out. They need to unswap bodies. The plan: figure out what caused the swap. Deeper layer: Misa doesn’t believe in aliens, in fact she hate the whole concept of aliens.
P1-6 & P2-5: Plan in action – They struggle comically with their swapped bodies' quirks. They go over what happened trying to sort of the reason for the swap.
Deeper layer: Bill seems to have no mechanical aptitude or understanding about his ship.
Deeper layer: Bill hints that no one is coming to find him.
P1-7 & P2-6: Bill’s body (with Misa) is angry with Bill how could he be so irresponsible to not know how his ship functions Bigger freak out without help how can they unswap bodies?
P1- 8 & P2-7: Bill’s body (with Misa in it) starts to suffer from ‘Earth sickness’. Misa’s body (with Bill in it) claims it’s just an adjustment. Deeper layer: they’re lying.
Midpoint Turning Point
P1-9 & P2-8. Misa’s body (Bill in it) and Bill’s body (Misa in it) go to the farmer’s market to earn money and avoid suspicion. To hide Bill’s body (with Misa in it) they wear a Big Foot costume as a disguise.
A-3: Deputy Rhoades pulls them over on the way to the Farmer’s Market.
P1-10 & P2-9: The Big Foot costume causes hilarious confusion at the farmer’s market. Misa’s body (with Bill) is actually a good, if goofy, salesman. Bill’s body (Misa in it) is angry that Misa’s body (Bill in it) is better at selling her products.
P1 –11: Misa’s body (with Bill) surmise’s people care about Misa but they notice she’s being nice and it threatens to blow their cover.
A-4: Deputy Rhoades notices Misa’s body (Bill in it) acting odd and suspects drug use. His concern for the community stoner deepens his involvement and offers compassion to them.
Act 3: Rethink everything
A-5: Deputy Rhoades ‘investigates’ Misa sneaks around her property but doesn’t catch onto the body swap.P1-12 & P2-10: Bill’s body (with Misa in it) is struggling. Misa’s body (with Bill) shares that Bill’s body can’t live long on Earth – too much sun, too much vitamin D the bones will start to fuse. It won’t get better. Admits he’s been sabotaging repairs. They must give up trying to unswap and focus on fixing Bill’s spaceship. They brainstorm and plan what they can try, how to get parts?
New plan – The ship requires an expensive part, and the only chance for the money is to win best product at the upcoming Earth Day festival.
P1-13 & P2-11: They work together to finalize the items for the Earth Day festival Misa's body (with Bill) gains a newfound appreciation for nature and environmental activism and understanding of Misa’s love for Earth.
Deeper layer: Misa shares her fear of people’s belief in aliens – humans don’t care about Earth because they think aliens will come fix everything. Bill’s body (with Misa) learns about the challenges of space travel. Instead of constantly fighting, they work together.
P1-14 & P2-12: Bill’s body (with Misa) and Misa’s body (with Bill) attends in the Big Foot costume. As usual Misa gets mad about the environmental impact of the festival – don’t these people care about Earth?
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift
P1-15 Misa’s body (with Bill) explains the products at the Earth Day festival and makes mistakes. They are confronted by attendees at the festival about the environmental damage caused by her family’s businesses – accused of hypocrisy for creating ‘good products.’ They don’t win best product.
P2-13 Bill’s body (with Misa) is getting worse. However, a major retailer (that Misa’s hates) that has a representative at the Earth Day festival wants to stock the products and provide the needed money.
P1-16: Misa’s body (with Bill) convinces Bill’s body (with Misa) to accept the money, otherwise she will die in his body!
P2-14: Bill’s body (with Misa) passes out in the parking lot of the Festival. Deputy Rhoades confronts them. Concludes that Big Foot is a bad influence on Misa, they are both using drugs. He suggests rehab. It worked for him!
P1-17: Misa’s body (with Bill) says she’ll think about it.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict –
P2-14:
P1-17 & P2-14: They fix the spaceship with the funds and expertise.
P1-18 & P2-15 & A-7: Deputy Rhoades sees Bill’s actual body and freaks out. Did he fall off the wagon and not realize it? Bill and Misa convince him to keep it to themselves and they won’t tell anyone about his rehab episode.
Resolution –
P1-19 & P2-16:- They fix the spaceship with the funds and expertise.
P1-20: Misa’ body (with Bill) offers to stay on Earth and let Bill’s body (with Misa) leave rather than have her die in his body from Earth’s harmful effects.
P1-21: & P2-17: Bill’s body (with Misa) refuses to leave. She loves Earth too much. As they're about to part ways, a final comedic twist occurs: Bill’s body (with Misa) tests the repaired spaceship toilet, causing sparks that reverse the swap.
P2-18:Bill returns home willing to face punishment for his bad deeds and earning his place on the space team and promises keep other aliens away from Earth and pay for his mistakes. (note: this needs to be set up better)
P1-22: Misa recommits to working with others to save her beloved planet – Bill points out you can’t do it alone.-
This reply was modified 11 months ago by Terrie Shaft.
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This reply was modified 11 months ago by Terrie Shaft.
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This reply was modified 11 months ago by
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Mike’s Beat Sheet
My Vision is to write an original screenplay, make a couple of calls to pitch it, to start a bidding war.
From this lesson, I learned how to take all the information I have accumulated and start to weave it into a recognizable plot for my screenplay.
Act1 – Beginning:
(PJ1) Junior detective Jocinda is suspended for insubordination, in which she cries sexism.
(TJ1) Mr. Jones, the president of the Little League, is a thorn in Jocinda’s backside because he and the other board members do not want to let a woman coach one of their teams.
(PJ2) Jocinda/Coach Jo gets permission to coach her goddaughter’s baseball team, the Twins, which is curiously stacked with brainiacs in a misogynistic environment.
(TJ2) Jones is also the sales manager for Vita Solutions, and the whole Little League receives free vitamins from the company.Inciting Incident:
(PJ3) At the first Practice, Coach Jo’s first plan is to use a teaching CD for the team to bring home and watch with their parents, hoping to get the parents involved in teaching their kids how to play baseball with the same techniques she is using at practices. This plan fails miserably because the parents are worse than the kids.
(AJ1) We meet Mr. Black, the CEO of Vita Solutions, but they are in Synapse Tech Systems, where Mr. Jones voices his concerns about Jocinda/Coach Jo being a police detective.
(Here is where we get some foreshadowing of Nanotechnology. Mr. Black plays catch with someone as they talk. It is a chimpanzee named Willie.)
(PJ4) Coach Jo meets the neighborhood crackpot, the zany Doc Kramer, at the local tavern and half-listens to his insight on how to start teaching the kids the game of baseball.Turning Point 1:
(AJ2) Late one night alone in his Lab, Mr. Black injects himself with a syringe of nanobots tagged 5ToolMaster.
(PJ5) Coach Jo starts, to the team’s annoyance, with a rule book and a book on baseball strategy, explaining that learning baseball is like learning chess. You can only win if you know the rules and strategies. She still tries to use the teaching techniques in the CD, which again comically fails.
(TJ3) Coach Jo’s team’s first game against Mr. Jones’ team is a disaster, losing by the slaughter rule in 4 innings.
(AJ3) It doesn’t take long for Mr. Black to start feeling the change in his body and his mental attitude.Act 2 – New plan:
(PJ6) Coach Jo returns to Doc Kramer and gets some tips from him on teaching her team baseball skills using science, math, and physics.
(AJ5) Mr. Black’s lab assistants are busy working on coding to program more nanobots. In the background, a new machine is being installed in the Lab. (This is a pill-making machine with some Vita Solutions boxes next to it.)
(TJ4) Mr. Jones picks up a new batch of vitamins from Mr. Black at Synapse Tech Systems, along with a list of boys he wants to take this new version of vitamins.Plan in action:
(PJ7) Things are going well for the Twins. All their baseball fundamentals are improving, kids are playing permanent positions, and their knowledge of the games has grown the fastest as they see the game more clearly now. A couple of the kids who were designated pitchers enjoy seeing how the ball reacts to different ways it moves when the laces are spinning in a specific manner.
(TJ5) Mr. Jones’ team is playing another team, and Mr. Black is in the stands watching. The boys taking the new vitamins are playing without flaw.
(AJ6) Mr. Black employs a slow, sinister clap and grins as he witnesses one of the boys speed as he makes a catch in the outfield, imitating Willie Mays’ patented basket catch. His assistant from the Lab is jotting down notes.Midpoint Turning Point:
(PJ6) Coach Jo is on the sidelines of the game and sees the same catch. She is in awe, and then she notices Mr. Black in the stands enjoying what he sees. She watched the game for a while and noticed some other plays that reminded her of some of the late great professional baseball players. She also notices Mr. Black’s reaction to each.
(TJ6)Mr. Jones notices Coach Jo on the sidelines and gets Mr. Black’s attention, then nods to look up the Sideline. Coach Jo’s note-taking has piqued Mr. Black’s interest.Act 3 – Rethink everything:
(PJ7) Coach Jo sits in her RV with a murder board on the wall, trying to figure out what is happening. She turns her interest to two boys in particular, the one boy who reminds her of Willie Mays and the other who reminds her of Ty Cobb, but only because of his hard play on the bases.
(PJ8) Coach Jo turns to her computer and opens an email from the Sr. Detective Sibowits, who was trying to help her before she got suspended. The subject of the email is Mr. Black.
(TJ7) Mr. Jones visits Mr. Black in his Laboratories. He is concerned about the minor side effects he is starting to notice. In the background by the new machine are bottles of the same vitamins Mr. Jones is handing out to the Little League.
(AJ8) Mr. Black brings out a new chimp to play catch with Willie; his name is Sandy; she winds up and pitches the ball to Willie. It’s a thing of beauty and an exact imitation of Sandy Koufax. Mr. Jones is in awe and forgets about the side effects.
(PJ9) Coach Jo hints at Mr. Jones about her theory, and with Mr. Jones’s reaction, she knows she is on the right path.New plan:
(PJ10) Coach Jo runs everything past her sister, Latisha, and her husband, Kofi. Kofi wants to know why she is meeting with Doc Kramer, who then points out that asking for help is a step in the right direction for a new you.
Coach Jo learns from her sister that the nanobots are a tectological breakthrough and that Mr. Black must have cracked the code to bridge the gap and transmit information from the nanobots to the muscle’s motor neurons. The vitamins the kids are taking come from Mr. Black’s company.
(AJ9) Mr. Black calls in outside help to take Coach Jo out of the game.
(PJ10) Coach Jo eats some crow and calls and explains her theory to Det. Sibowits. He backs her play and gets some vitamins for testing.Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift:
(TJ7) Mr. Jones reveals to Mr. Black what Coach Jo knows about the secret program.
(AJ9) Mr. Black reveals to Mr. Jones that it will not be a problem by tomorrow.
(PJ10) The vitamin analysis comes back, and they are clean of any foreign matter, especially Nanobots. Det. Sibowits tries to reach Jocinda but must leave a message. He contacts Latisha and gives her the bad news.
Latisha goes to Jocinda’s RV to see if she is there; no Jocinda, but she sees the murder board, and something dawns on her.Act 4 – Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict:
(PJ11) Coach Jo is waking up, but she is tied up in a chair. She looks around, and she is in a laboratory. She sees Sandy and Willie playing catch and has to do a double take. Mr. Black comes into the Lab. Coach Jo reveals that the police are testing the vitamins as they speak.
(AJ10) Mr. Black informs her that they are testing the placebo and will find nothing. They will not even find you! We have taken your RV, and you will have a tragic accident in it, probably because you were so depressed at the fact that you failed yet again because of your arrogance and history of not asking for help.
(TJ9) Det. Sibowits and the whole Detective unit come bursting into the Lab, guns drawn. Latisha tested one of her friend’s vitamins, confirmed nanobots were lased in them, and notified Det. Sibowits. Who had just gotten off the phone with Mr. Jones, who had a change of heart for the kids and called in the information.Resolution:
The championship game is where the Twins play Mr. Black’s team without the nanobots’ assistance, and the brainiacs prove that any physical game can be learned through sound scientific research.
Closing Image:
The team celebrates a well-played season for their baseball achievements and for standing up to a corporate giant. Jo watches proudly, her place as coach and mentor firmly established.
The final shot mirrors the opening but now shows Jo confident and respected, having found a new purpose and path—through the detective unit, not around it—that helped expand her problem-solving ideas.-
This reply was modified 11 months ago by Michael Collado.
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This reply was modified 11 months ago by
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Hari's New Outline Beats!
My Vision: I want to write screenplays that enable me to work with like minded creative people in the industry to produce profound movies that will have a long lasting positive effect on the world.
I learned that…a "treasure hunt" is a really good way to look at this process
Protagonist: Colt McBride
Antagonist: Del Beck
Triangle Character: Jamaica DalyAct 1:
Opening – In a fog shrouded forest we see two combatants fighting over a fresh water spring. A battle to the death. One is human, the other a strange reptilian creature. The Reptilian pierces the human through the heart and kills him. We cut to Jamaica jumping up in bed, awakened by the nightmare.Colt McBride, suspended cop, on the freeway, driving into Jefferson. Wants to get away from the disaster of his big city life. In the back of the car, his new K9 partner, Jake. McBride is not a fan.
Sheriff Del Beck stops him for a minor traffic violation. Their interaction reveals McBride’s past (on suspension, pending hearing – his career at stake)and Beck’s iron clad control of Jefferson. A Hitchcock type portrayal of authority.
McBride drives into Jefferson. There is a strong police presence for such a backwater town. Why?
Daniel St. George, an alien investigator / charlatan pilots his small plane into Jefferson for a speaking engagement.
The battle for control of Jeffersons water supply introduced. The town is deeply divided and on edge over it.
McBride has a run in with Jamaica Daly. Unfortunately she is the real estate agent renting him a home for the summer. Not the best intro.
Inciting Incident: McBride is hungover, fishing at a lake. He discovers a dead body in the water. As he’s pulling it out of the water, it suddenly morphs into a strange reptilian creature, then back into human form. WTF?
McBride reports the incident to Beck and insists that he investigate. Beck is hesitant to do so. Implies that McBride could be a suspect.
Against Jamaica’s strong opposition, her mother, Evelyn rents McBride the old family farmhouse.
He becomes friendly with Evelyn. She invites him to go with her to hear alien investigator, Daniel St. George, talk about Reptilian shape shifters. McBride accepts.
McBride leaves midway through the presentation and rushes to the morgue to get a look at the body from the lake. When he gets there both the body and the doctor have gone missing.
Turning Point: Judge about to rule on the water case is found dead. He is Jamaica’s husband. Jamaica asks Colt to investigate because she doesn’t trust Beck and the police. Colt agrees, but she arouses his suspicions – and his interest. Femme fatale?
Act 2:
New plan – Realizing that he needs help, McBride teams up with some of the locals. Everyone experiences Beck’s threatening presence.Plan in action – Mayor Hal Burton becomes his staunchest ally. He sees McBride as someone who can finally help him challenge Beck’s vice like grip on Jefferson.
Colt needs to find the Doctor. He is sequestered away in rehab. Colt, Jake and the Grandma break him out.
McBride works with Daniel, but also starts to look into the unscrupulous dealings of the water company. He attends town meetings, interrogates the Jefferson Water Board. Researches the history of the conflict.
Jefferson hires Saffron Rose, a water hydrologist to help them respond to the EIR that the water company is pushing through.
Daniel and Saffron begin to investigate together. Yin and Yang. They start to fall for each other.
They are stopped by Beck while driving. He threatens them.
Daniel flies Saffron up the mountain to get a closer look at the glaciers. His plane has been sabotaged and they have to make an emergency landing. They spend the night on the mountain.
Midpoint Turning Point – Against his better judgement, McBride starts to fall in love with Jamaica. On an excursion they embrace, about to kiss, when she suddenly morphs into reptilian form, then back into her human form.
Act 3:
Rethink everything – Jamaica is unaware that she is the offspring of interspecies breeding. Evelyn has kept it from her because Beck threatened to kill Jamaica if she ever revealed it.McBride gets Evelyn to tell them everything. The aliens need to perform a ritual with the water from Jefferson to maintain their human morph when they are 28 years old. The water company is really shipping the water to aliens all over the world for this purpose.
New plan – Jamaica needs to perform the ritual or she will lose her human form forever.
The local doctor makes some calculations and declares that she will lose her morph on July 4th.
Jamaica decides to let the morph go and reveal herself and the alien presence at the big 4th of July celebration in Jefferson. McBride is heart broken, but agrees it is the best plan. Now they just have to keep her safe until then. Ticking clock.
Beck issues a warrant charging McBride and Jamaica with Solomon’s death. They are hunted by the police.
Turning Point: Huge failure / Major shift – The aliens find out Jamaica’s plan and Beck kidnaps Evelyn, threatens to kill her unless Jamaica turns herself in. Jamaica agrees, but McBride has enlisted the help of Hal Burton and they plan to ambush Beck at the meeting…
Except that Hal Burton is really the Alien in charge. Beck was just a front. Hal shoots Evelyn. Jamaica is next.
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate expression of the conflict – Jake attacks Burton and they manage to escape. McBride gets Jamaica to the stage just in time where she morphs into Reptilian form in front of everyone. Ticking clock -there is an actual countdown timer on the stage.People are freaked. A crazed person in the crowd shoots Jamaica.
Resolution – As she lies dying, McBride figures out a way to get all aliens to instantly lose their morph and reveal their presence.
Humanity unites and defeats the aliens.
McBride and Jake ride off, back to the big city to face whatever lies in store for them.
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This reply was modified 11 months ago by hari messer.
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This reply was modified 11 months ago by
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Mary’s New Outline Beats!
My vision: I am a leading creator of relatable family-friendly stories with compelling, authentic and unique characters.What I learned: This method for finding plot holes is very helpful…Going forward and backwards. I’m sure there are more holes to fill in….
Act 1: Discovery and Departure
Essence: Ava, a talented but emotionally detached musician, acquires synesthesia from a lightning strike, leading her to a wilderness retreat to understand and harness her new sensory abilities.
Opening
Essence: Onstage, Ava performs with technical skill but lacks emotional connection, mirroring her personal disconnection and setting the stage for her transformative journey.
PJ/AR – Beginning: Ava feels disconnected and views her synesthesia as a curse. Her emotional disconnect is evident during her onstage performance juxtaposed with a storm outside.
•Curse: Ava shows evidence of the family curse… she experiences the emotions tied to music in an overwhelmingly intense and often painful way so she shields herself from emotion.Inciting Incident
Essence: A lightning strike alters Ava's perception, making her see sounds as colors and launching her on a quest to understand these changes.PJ/AR – Turning Point: Struck by lightning, Ava gains synesthetic abilities and decides to explore them at a wilderness retreat, meeting Diana.
Address: How does Ava end up in the wilderness? Maybe she actually doesn’t intend to go there.Turning Point
Essence: At a wilderness retreat, Ava meets Diana, confronts her lack of survival skills, and learns of the "Special Note," deepening her personal and emotional crisis.TJ/DW – Beginning: Diana is introduced as a wise mentor, who is willing to guide Ava on her journey
Deeper Layer: Diana is not just a healer she discovers she is Ava’s grandmother.
Curse: Diana recognizes that Ava has the family curse related to music (Does Diana also have this curse or has it skipped her generation?)AJ/ST – Beginning: Silas is introduced as a charismatic leader, secretly planning to use Ava's abilities for his own gain.
Reveal some of Silas’s manipulation techniques related to his followers. (Superior position)
Act 2: Mastery and Deception
Essence: As Ava learns to control her synesthesia under Diana's guidance, she gains confidence and connection to nature, unaware of the deceptions lurking ahead.
New Plan
Essence: Diana teaches Ava to map the natural world through synesthetic perceptions, fostering a deeper bond and enhancing Ava's control over her abilities.
TJ/DW Turning Point: Diana's mentoring turns into a deeper connection when she discovers her familial ties to Ava, embedding personal stakes into their journey.
Curse: Diana suggests to Ava that the emotional intensity and pain she feels tied to music may be the result of a curse.
Curse: Diana suggests to Ava that she has heard of this curse and that the cure may be to find the “special note” or special composition within nature to balance the nature of music.Plan in Action
Essence: Ava's growing competence in the wilderness and her deepening relationship with Diana symbolize her increasing adaptation and reliance on her new skills.
Curse: Ava has initial success with her synesthesia and balancing an aspect of emotion by the reactions of some of the people at the retreat center.
Midpoint Turning Point
Essence: Ava's belief in her mastery of the "Special Note" collapses with the revelation of Silas Thorn's deceit and Diana's disappearance, thrusting her into a profound reevaluation.
Address: Why does Diana disappear? – she can’t face the situation she got Ava into or other reasons?
PJ/AR Midpoint: Ava believes she's mastering her synesthetic abilities and used these to find the “special note” but faces a setback when she learns that her successes are manipulated by Silas Thorn. Diana goes missing.TJ/DW – Midpoint: Diana's disappearance forces Ava into deeper self-reliance, as her guidance up to this point has been a mixture of teaching and hidden motives.
AJ/ST – Midpoint: Silas’s true intentions are revealed, escalating the stakes as he manipulates Ava and orchestrates Diana's disappearance to unsettle Ava further.
Act 3: Descent and Redetermination
Essence: Discovering Diana's true identity as her grandmother and confronting familial secrets, Ava redefines her journey, integrating her skills to resolve the conflicts.
New Plan
Essence: Armed with a personal connection to her mission, Ava plans a daring rescue for Diana, ready to confront Thorn with a new understanding of her role.
Rethink Everything
Address: How does Ava find out Diana is her grandmother?
Address: What are the circumstances by which Ava must rescue her grandmother?
Essence: Ava's revelation of Diana being her grandmother redefines their relationship, compelling her to embrace her legacy and prepare for confrontation.
TJ/DW Turning Point: Diana finds out Ava is her grandmother and is more deeply involved in the family's mystical secrets and the curse, challenging Ava's trust.
PJ/AR – Turning Point: Learning of Diana's true identity and their familial ties, Ava is driven to confront her legacy and the curse.
PJ/AR – Dilemma: Torn between fleeing Silas’s influence and risking herself to save Diana and confront the curse directly.
Turning Point
Essence: An initial failure to confront Thorn forces Ava to fully commit to her abilities and the teachings from Diana, solidifying their trust and partnership.
Act 4: Climax and Resolution
Essence: In the ultimate confrontation, Ava, fully attuned to her "Special Note" and empowered by her experiences, faces and overcomes Thorn, resolving the deep-rooted family curse.
TJ/DW – Turning Point: Diana reveals more about the curse, deepening their familial and mentor-student bond.
TJ/DW – Dilemma: Diana contemplates how much truth to reveal to Ava, balancing protection with the necessity of Ava’s growth.
PJ/AR – Turning point: Ava, feels the true healing power of the "Special Note" and feels empowered by her experiences. She understands the curse, and her grandmother’s pat in the curse as well as her relationship with Silas
J/ST – Turning Point: Prepares for a final showdown, confident in his manipulative power.AJ/ST – Dilemma: Silas grapples with his methods, caught between his vision for a harmonious world and his extreme measures.
Act 4: Climax and Resolution
Essence: In the ultimate confrontation, Ava, fully attuned to her "Special Note" and empowered by her experiences, faces and overcomes Thorn, resolving the deep-rooted family curse.
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict
Essence: Ava confronts and defeats Thorn using her complete mastery of synesthesia and the strategic insights gained from Diana, overcoming the manipulations and revealing the true extent of her growth.
PJ/AR Major Conflict: Ava confronts Silas in a dramatic showdown, using her full mastery of synesthesia to counteract his manipulations.
TJ/DW – Major Conflict: Diana supports Ava in the showdown with Silas, using her wisdom and secrets.
AJ/ST – Major Conflict: His confrontation with Ava tests his fanaticism against her harmonious approach.
Resolution
Essence: Ava rescues Diana and defeats Thorn. In a shocking twist, it’s revealed that Diana herself was the unintended architect of the curse and was counting on helping Ava to reverse the curse. The healing sanctuary is restored, symbolizing the healing of the land and Ava herself. She embraces her synesthesia and her place in the wilderness, alongside her deep bond with Diana.
PJ/AR Ending: Ava rescues Diana, breaks the family curse, and accepts her synesthesia as a gift, profoundly altering her understanding and acceptance of herself.
TJ/DW Ending: Reunited with Ava, Diana sees the fruition of her mentorship and the breaking of the curse, reinforcing her values and rectifying her past mistakes.
AJ/ST Ending: Defeated by Ava, Silas's vision is discredited. His failure forces him to confront the flaws in his ideology and the consequences of his actions.-
This reply was modified 10 months, 4 weeks ago by Mary Spiers.
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This reply was modified 10 months, 4 weeks ago by
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Hope’s new outline beats!
My Vison:
To be a full-time respected screenwriter whose work brings joy to viewers and creates work for others in the industry, including actors and crew.
What I learned:
Confession: I was way behind in part because of a crazy schedule and in part because I could tell the antagonists were having way too much fun in what I had. The protagonist was window dressing. Sigh. Two comments made the difference: One from Hal during the 06/13 call, when he reminded us that we can catch up in a couple of days since the original schedule is pretty slow. The second comment was from fellow coursemate, Karena Krull who kindly did an impromptu brainstorm session with me after that call. She noticed when I got more animated talking about the outline. It was when I mentioned an early idea I’d discarded. Soooo … I worked fast, went back to that early idea (same concept! Just making the fictional characters actually fictional characters instead of out-of-work-actors). It made all the difference and is a whole lot more fun. The protagonist then, too, gets to be the star.
Act 1:
1. Marta wakes up anxious and excited on her wedding day, determined to keep everything under control. Calls the groom, Chad, to be sure he hasn’t changed his mind. He commends her for arranging an extension on her manuscript with the publisher. She’s noncommittal; doesn’t correct him. Says she’s heading to the venue with her dress/shoes, and wants to make the final checks.
2. Marta arrives at the venue — and begins micromanaging everything and everyone. She cuts grass that doesn’t need cutting; plumps decorations that don’t need plumping; leaves messages for the caters; straightens chairs that are already straight.
3. In the bride’s and bridesmaids’ suite, Marta reminds her bridesmaids about their nail color (one still has time to change hers!) and lipstick color. Marta avoids a call from her publisher. Marta puts on her boring white wedding dress as the bridesmaids put on boring beige dresses.
4. Oops! The publisher calls one of the bridesmaids, who hands the phone to Marta. Her publisher reminds Marta that she promised to deliver her manuscript a week ago. Wants her to deliver it today; the publisher says she’ll pick up the thumb drive when she arrives at the wedding in a few hours. Marta panics, but lies about not having it ready. Still thinks she can stall by avoiding the publisher on this very busy day. Someone poke’s a head into the room to say Marta is needed.
5. Marta enters where the ceremony will be to see Vincent and Lily. They’re wearing Victorian clothes. She demands to know who they are. Vincent tells her they are tired of her constant editing with no regard to what they want. They demand she follow their instructions for changes to their characters: He doesn’t want to be the antagonist; he wants current the hero, Royal Brighton, deleted. Lily refuses to do housework anymore, she wants to be a world-famous artist and princess. Marta believes she’s hallucinating and ignores them. Vincent and Lily begin to randomly rearrange chairs. Marta flips out, now assuming they’re from catering company. Vincent flips a table and throws chairs across the room.
Act 2:
6. Marta, overwhelmed and unable to reason with them, calls the police. The police officer who arrives is another one of her fictional characters! Detective Felix Sharp, a hard-boiled, noir-style detective from her earlier mystery novels, arrests Marta’s wedding planner and takes her away.<‘p>
7. Vincent and Lily explain they’ve come from a fictional realm that’s merged with reality due to Marta’s intense emotions and creative energy. To get them to return to the fictional realm, they again demand she change their story lines. Marta doesn’t believe them; insists she doesn’t have time for this.
8. Vincent and Lily prove their power over reality by making more of Marta’s characters appear. Suddenly, the venue is flooded with characters from her various novels: A pirate, a medieval jester, and a Huck Finn-type character in cutoffs and straw hat. The characters begin acting out their storylines, creating a surreal scene that confuses the caterers trying to set up. The caterers, frightened, run out.
9. Marta barges into the groom’s suite to accuse her groom, Chad, of pulling another one of his practical jokes. Vincent follows her and tells the groomsmen their services are no longer needed. He chases them out.
10. Marta tries appeasement. She grabs a notepad and writes as the other fictional characters shout demands at her. Those characters then disappear one after the other as she agrees. But Vincent watches, suspicious.
11. Marta’s publisher arrives for the wedding and pressures her to deliver her overdue manuscript before leaving on the honeymoon — or be dropped. Vincent steps in, telling the publisher that Marta has agreed to major changes. The publisher flips out.
12. Marta decides to use the chaos to her advantage by incorporating Vincent and Lily into the wedding itself. She tells her publisher that these characters are here for a unique, immersive wedding, aimed at impressing both her guests and her publisher. Lily is excited to put her artistic chops to work. But the groom, Chad, delivers an ultimatum: Either Vincent and Lily go, or he does.
13. In a dramatic confrontation, Vincent declares he will not be given an ultimatum by a human. He pulls Chad into the fictional “book” world, making him disappear from the venue!
Act 3
14. In a panic about Chad’s disappearance, Marta agrees to give in. She convinces Vincent to bring out Royal Brighton, the book’s hero and Vincent’s nemesis, to discuss the changes she’ll need to make to their storylines. She suggests that a new storyline for Royal is better than deleting him and would be a better revenge for Vincent.
15. Marta’s publisher begins livestreaming the event to market Marta’s upcoming book. The live event goes viral.
16. Vincent, intrigued by the idea of confronting his nemesis, uses his powers to bring Royal Brighton into the real world. To everyone’s shock, Royal looks exactly like a 19th-century Chad.
17. Marta asks Royal if Chad was safe in the fictional world. Royal says yes, but Chad was too preoccupied to talk other than asking for directions to a wedding.
18. The wedding officiant arrives and assumes that Royal/Chad is the groom/Chad. Vincent tells him that Marta and Chad have called off the wedding. He sends the officiant away. Wedding guests arrive.
19. Marta enlists Royal’s help to bring back her groom, Chad. Royal/Chad immediately challenges Vincent to a duel! Guests assume this is some over-keeps filming with her smart phone.
20. Lily returns with the bridesmaids. All their dresses have been crazy-cool altered! Marta steps between Vincent and Royal. She declares that she’ll duel Vincent – and when she wins, he must return Chad!
21. Vincent pulls out a sword! Marta pulls out a pen and notepad! Disgusted, Vincent slaps away the notepad with his sword, stinging Marta’s hand and drawing blood. Royal steps in with his sword and Vincent stabs him! Royal falls to the ground, injured.
22. Wedding guests begin to sneer at Marta and side with Vincent, believing him to be the true hero of the story. The publisher watches the comments fly by on the livestream, declaring Marta a sham. The publisher declares that Marta is out as one of their writers. Her career is over!
Act 4:
23. Blood on her wedding dress and hair messed up, Marta stands and helps up Royal. She reminds Vincent that it was HER creativity and HER emotional energy that brought her books’ characters out of the fictional world to this one. She is their creator. She summons up her creative energy and now she demands Chad’s release. Nothing happens.
24. Marta turns to Lily and Royal. Commends Lily on the bridesmaids dresses and Royal for stepping in to help. These weren’t rewrites. She asks Lily and Royal for their help – and then also the guests.
25. Guests shout out ideas for how the story/wedding should end. With ideas flowing, Vincent’s character changes. Vincent is given a redemption story where he learns to let go of his resentment and embraces a new role.
26. Chad reappears! Soon the wedding guests are joined by other of Marta’s fictional characters in the seats. Lily and the bridesmaids whisk Marta away.
27. Vincent and Chad give each other a stare down. Vincent looks ready to pounce, but Chad announces he was always one of his favorite characters from Marta. He looks at Royal and acknowledges they’re a lot alike. Royal surmises that Marta must see him as a hero.
28. The publisher yells for everyone to get into their places and she films. Chad, Royal, and Vincent take the groom and groomsmen spots! The guests are peppered with humans and Marta’s fictional characters!
29. The bridesmaids walk down the aisle, now with Lily as maid of honor. Marta appears in an amazing Lily original!
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Module 4 Lesson 4
ALIENS ON A PLANE
Sci-Fi Comedy
Bonnie’s Vision for the Future: I want to improve my writing skills by 200% and sell at least one script between 2024 and 2025.
What I learned from doing this assignment is I'm just getting the hang of plotting.Bonnie’s New Outline Beats! June 16, 2024
ACT 1
OPENING: On a distant planet, three rival extraterrestrial travel agents prepare their tourists for launching vacations via Teleportation, Time Travel, and Multidimensional journeys.
A1J Beginning: Zartuuf, a charismatic, ambitious, self-centered ET Travel Agent, covertly focused on monopolizing the multidimensional travel industry, fearing being unworthy of love and failure, tinkers clumsily with a rival agent’s travel device minutes before preparing his own tourist, Quarky for a multidimensional vacation.
A1J Surface Layer: Zartuuf’s comically selfish ambitions, and flamboyant charisma.
A1J Deeper Layer: Subtle signs of Zartuuf’s use of music and frequency to calm his fears, hiding his ability to manipulate dangerous spacetime warps.
PJ Beginning: At the same moment, Xiola, a secret agent, time traveler from future Earth is preparing to travel from her covertly operating espionage organization back to the present to investigate a mysterious event.
PJ Surface Layer: Xiola is clever, witty, and arrogant, highly independent, preferring to rely on herself rather than delegate. Mission: Investigate the cause and fix the anomaly.
PJ Deeper Layer: Xiola suspects sabotage after she notices irregularities within her organization. Xiola’s true mission is to find her missing mother and expose the conspiracy she suspects between a rogue faction within her organization and the ET confederation, haunted by her first mission where she made a risky decision that caused harm.
INCITING INCIDENT: As the agents prepare for their launches, a strange anomaly occurs, catapulting them and their three tourists onto a commercial airline mid-flight over present-day United States.
TURNING POINT: Seconds later, Xiola materializes on the plane to find the confused arrivals struggling to make sense of the bizarre glitch. When Xiola and Zartuuf meet, they try to hide their mixed feelings of attraction-repulsion to each other. Xiola has awkward comical meeting with Quarky.
PJ Turning Point: Xiola materializes on the plane amidst the chaos caused by the anomaly, encountering the ET travel agents and their tourists. She meets Zartuuf, leading to a mix of attraction and repulsion, hinting at her need to let others in.
TCJ Beginning: Quarky, thrown into the chaos on the plane, due to the unexpected anomaly, appears as an anxious and bumbling ET tourist.
TCJ Surface Layer: Show Quarky as quirky, overzealous, lovable, emotional with inappropriate behavior that causes comical situations.
TCJ Deeper Layer: Sent by the elders on a secret mission, Quarky hides feelings of “imposter syndrome” due to special abilities stemming from an ancient Shamanic heritage. Show subtle signs of Shamanic abilities and playful trickster nature, while struggling with loneliness and fear of ridicule.
A1J Turning Point: Zartuuf meets Xiola on the plane, triggering a mix of attraction and repulsion. His lies to manipulate situations cause Gizdink his ET pet to sting him, adding comic relief and pushing him into the conflict.
A1J Midpoint: During the investigation with Xiola, Zartuuf panics when he loses Gizdink. The near-intimate moment with Xiola, and the deepening investigation challenge his self-centeredness and reveal his vulnerabilities.
TCJ Turning Point: Quarky finds Gizdink, they become friends, decide to keep Gizdink hidden just for fun to see if Zartuuf still lies. Q’s empathy, playfulness and mischief initially cause more confusion but soon reveal their hidden powers, adding humor, heart and mystery to the story.
A2J Surface Layer: Zhetak showing (literally) his two-faced nature as he operates within ET confederation celebrating a minor win, congratulating himself, mocking others, petting and playing with his ET pets.
A2J Hidden Layer: Zhetak smiles at Xe as he passes her and the Commander talking, then back in his office seething anger and jealousy.ACT 2
NEW PLAN: As the spacetime, multidimensional portals fade in and out, adjusting to the present, Xiola, the agents and their tourists bumble chaotically into one another until the plane stabilizes back into now time. They realize they need to quickly adapt and create a plan to blend in while trying to fix their unexpected, bizarre situation.
PLAN IN ACTION: Each agent will work with their tourist, disguising themselves as various flight crew and passenger. Xiola covertly implements an array of cool future tech devices to sniff out the problem, at times, disguised as a flight attendant, or posing as a journalist who is investigating the anomaly.
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT: Xiola and Zartuuf embark on a major investigation. Meanwhile, Zartuuf searches the hold full of caged animals for Gizdink. In a moment of irresistible mutual attraction, they almost have sex. Xiola receives a clue that could lead to her mother’s disappearance and possible role in the mystery.
TCJ Beginning: Xe sends anonymous message to Xiola’s wrist device.
TCJ Surface Layer: Xe is outwardly friendly with Zhetak.
TCJ Hidden Layer: Xiola’s and Quarky’s mother, Xe, is a double agent infiltrating ET confederation to take down conspirators.
PJ Midpoint: Xiola’s and Zartuuf’s co-operate in the investigation, which deepens their bond. She receives a clue about Xe's disappearance, shifting her personal stakes, causing her to rethink her mission.
PJ Turning Point: Xiola suspects messages are coming from her mother, increasing her determination. However, disturbing multidimensional events escalate, and bizarre behaviors of the agents and tourists expose them, complicating their mission.
TCJ Midpoint: Quarky must decide whether to hide their abilities or use them openly to fix their situation. Meanwhile, serving bizarre dishes to passengers, and causing strange ET soap operas to appear on screens.
A2J Beginning: Zhetak is an ambitious, power-hungry megalomaniac covertly operating within a rogue faction of the ET confederation, manipulating his son Zartuuf and others to achieve his goal of becoming Commander and controlling interdimensional travel, but Xiola and her mother, Xe stand in his way.
A2J Character Intrigue: Zhetak’s sinister plan behind the scenes.
A1J Turning Point: Zartuuf discovers his father's manipulation and realizes he has been a pawn. He must decide whether to continue his selfish path or step up and help Xiola uncover the truth.
A2J Turning Point: Zhetak’s plans are disrupted by Xiola’s and Quarky’s swiftly reversing the bizarre events as soon as they occur, prompting him to escalate his efforts from behind the scenes, increasing the conflict and the stakes. His actions affect Xe and her relationship to Xiola.
TCJ Turning Point: Quarky forms a bond with Xiola, not realizing they share the same mother. This bond helps Quarky gain confidence and reveal their true nature by using their abilities to help.ACT 3
RETHINK EVERYTHING: Xiola and Zartuuf clash over his jealousy. Xiola insists they put it behind them and focus on the bigger picture.
PJ Surface Layer: The pilot and a few passengers are beginning to suspect something’s not right when portals open and shut at various spots on the plane.
A2J Hidden Layer: Zhetak uses his secret tech to reroute the plane over various magnetic sites around the Earth that trigger odd events.
A1J Zartuuf communicates secretly with an unknown source.
NEW PLAN: Xiola and Zartuuf secretly gather the agents and tourists together and quietly mitigate the threatening events.
PJ Xiola receives messages she suspects are coming from Xe.
TURNING POINT: HUGE FAILURE / MAJOR SHIFT: Agents and tourists in the attempt to blend in, instead exhibit bizarre behaviors, continue to offer unsavory meals and drinks, and strange sci-fi movies and commercials appear on screens. Busted!
REVEALS: Quarky quietly implements hidden powers to fix the glitches, and discovers Xiola shares the same abilities.
A2J Midpoint: As Zhetak’s manipulation of Zartuuf and the plane become more and more evident, it causes a rift between Xiola and Zartuuf, and his covert operations are increasingly at risk of exposure.
A1J Dilemma: Zartuuf must choose between loyalty to his father, Zhetak, and his growing feelings and respect for Xiola and his sense of justice. Either choice risks his ambitions or his newfound sense of morality.
PJ Dilemma: Xiola learns that her mother, Xe is somehow connected with a conspiracy involving the ET confederation and her spy organization. She must choose between following her mission or uncovering the truth about her mother, risking her career and safety.
TCJ Dilemma: Quarky faces rejection if they reveal to Xiola that they are siblings through their mother, Xe, and that they share similar powers. They risk more chaos if they don’t.
A2J Turning Point: Zhetak’s true role in the anomaly and conspiracy is uncovered by Xiola, Zartuuf reluctantly confirms her suspicions. He faces exposing himself and struggles with how to move forward. Begins using his musical powers to adjust frequencies.
TCJ Major Conflict: Quarky openly uses their powers to fix glitches and support Xiola and Zartuuf. They confront their self-doubt and loneliness, proving their worth.
REVEAL: Quarky returns Gizdink to Zartuuf. Zartuuf realizes he’s growing a conscience, no longer needs his pet, and sets it free.ACT 4
CLIMAX / ULTIMATE EXPRESSION OF THE CONFLICT: Xiola discovers evidence from her mother, Xe, who is infiltrating the ET confederation that her spy organization is collaborating with them to monopolize and control all modes of interdimensional travel. Hints that Zhetak is behind it. Zartuuf realizes it’s true, his father, Zhetak has been using him as a pawn to bring down Xiola, her investigation, and the conspiracy Zhetak himself initiated.
A2J Dilemma: Zhetak must choose between abandoning his plans to avoid exposure or doubling down and risking everything. Both choices could lead to his downfall.
PJ Major Conflict: Xiola discovers that Zhetak, Zartuuf’s father, is behind the anomaly and the conspiracy. She must confront him, risking exposure and the lives of those on the plane. Xiola reveals the truth to everyone on the plane, leading a collective effort to defeat Zhetak and fix the anomalies.
A1J Major Conflict: Zartuuf confronts his father, Zhetak, risking his life and career. This battle tests his transformation from a selfish coward to a courageous ally to his new friends.
A2J Major Conflict: Zhetak against Xe, Xiola and Zartuuf in a final showdown, reveals his full megalomaniacal intent. His manipulations and ambitions are laid bare, leading to a climactic battle for control.RESOLUTION: Xiola and Zartuuf risk all out panic by revealing the truth. They ask everyone on the plane to help by utilizing their special skills to defeat those who caused the malfunction.
PJ Ending: Final battle with Zhetak, the manipulative mastermind behind the anomaly and conspiracy, Xiola must use all her skills and the alliances she has formed to expose and defeat him. She learns to rely on others and gains closure about her mother.
A1J Ending: Zartuuf helps Xiola reveal the truth and fix the anomalies. He discovers a hidden courageous, caring side, finding a sense of belonging and purpose.
TCJ Ending: Quarky embraces their Shamanic power and is accepted and valued for their abilities. They find a sense of belonging and purpose, helping to resolve the conflict and ensure everyone’s safe passage.
A2J Dilemma: Save himself and lose his son or die rather than lose.
A2J Ending: Zhetak’s plans are thwarted, and he is exposed as the root cause of the chaos caused by the original anomaly. He loses his bid for power and control, facing defeat and accountability. His downfall highlights the ultimate cost of his ruthless ambition.DENOUEMENT: In the end, they discover how to facilitate safe passage for all to their desired destinations. Xiola recruits Zartuuf and Quarky to assist in her special unit within the ET confederation to keep interdimensional travel free and open for everyone.
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Jamie’s New Outline Beats
My scripts will get made into powerful movies that impact audiences and view me as a talented, hardworking professional.What I’m learning in this lesson is still a new approach for me to learn about beats and improving them in this pattern, trusting that it will all make sense at some point. I mean I’m getting it, I know I’ve overdone it rather than keep it very tight. But, I’ll keep trying. I have made notes, which I’ve not done in the past, where I need to develop a scene or two, so that’s good.
ACT 1
TIME LASPE – 1969 – 1980’s Photos of Lindsey and Sadie over the years. Then to the present day. This shows the closeness of Sadie and Lindsey’s relationship, up until Sadie’s divorcing Brooke’s father and Sadie begins alcohol, pot and valiums. It’s all downhill from then on to the present day.OPENING
Lindsey PJ – Working in the Arizona room, Lindsey is sifting through boxes, dividing her mother’s belongings as mentioned in her will, to give to the family and her friends. Lindsey is overwhelmed with dual burdens of grief and responsibilities. Gracie brings in boxes from the attic.
Lindsey multitasking, on the phone with lifelong friend, Lauren about colon cancer.
Daughter Gracie is by her side. Gracie finds a special box labeled “For Lindsey Only” and sets it aside. Emma, Lindsey younger sister, packs up and leaves to return home to California. She got what she wanted plus a few items she had taken without letting Lindsey know. Gracie’s significant other, Dylan, helps load Emma’s car.
Deeper Layer – Gracie hides the box when she sees her grandmother’s journals and wants to know family secrets. She wants to know everything about her mother and Sadie.
Deeper Layer – Lindsey orchestrates, dictates who gets what, in total control. Dylan tries to calm her down.
Emma takes things that she can sell right away.
Deeper Layer – Emma needs money.
That night Lindsey had a dream. (DREAM – Her niece, Brooke is with the Judge. Lindsey is granted custodial rights for Brooke.
Brooke PJ – She shows up, unannounced. Gracie and Brooke converse in a different room. Brooke is still calling her aunt “mom”.
Deeper Layer – Brooke and Gracie have a plan, a way to get Gracie to see her aunt and fly back to Oregon with Brooke.
Gracie and Brooke arrive in Oregon.
Lindsey PJ – Lindsey feels abandoned and lost.
Sadie AJ – Sadie puts on a show for Gracie. A rain and lightning storm scares Sadie. There is a power outage the power in the house. Sadie and Gracie take off to Brooke’s house. Sadie grabs her drugs they spill in the car. Sadie is deeply frightened. Next day Brooke makes breakfast but Sadie won’t eat, wants to go home.
A week passes, (* need to expand on time with Sadie and Gradie) Gracie is devastated by her aunt’s drug use. Soon she returns home and insists that her mother go spend time with Sadie.
Deeper Layer – Gracie wants Lindsey to go knowing how much she is grieving her mother but really wants her to help Sadie change her mind.INCITING INCIDENT
LINDSEY PJ – On the plane she reads the article from the magazine, Beyond Blue, all about CRC Colo Rectal Cancer. She arrives in Oregon wanting to be consoled. Brooke picks her up at the airport, discuss her calling her mom in front of Sadie and now must let go and call her Aunt Lindsey. This weighs on both of their souls.
Deeper Layer – Lindsey has hope for Sadie. Lindsey discovers new options for her colon cancer in a medical journal. Lindsey wants Sadie to sue the doctors. What Lindsey needs is consoling from her sister, the one she once was many years ago.
Sadie AJ – Sadie’s drug use escalates as she cares for Lindsey in their weeks together. Days later Lindsey needs to go to the store. Sadie takes her to lunch but doesn’t eat.
Sadie crashes into the garage door and makes Lindsey make the run to the pharmacy for Sadie. Has trouble getting one of her prescriptions.
Deeper Layer – Sadie wants some of Lindsey’s drugs knowing she’s been on opioids for years from an accident.
Lunch at Sadie’s – her “pod” show up, time to party. Sadie prompts Lindsey to take a hit of her pot and one of her pills. She refuses. Later Sadie leaves the room, passes out, leaving Lindsey to pick them up and send them off.
Lindsey’s shoulder breaks. Ambulance comes. Sadie fakes being ill and gets into the ambulance with Lindsey.
Deeper Layer – Sadie found a way to meet criteria for palliative care, and later an explosive argument ensues.
Lindsey returns home the next day upset and in pain, argues with Gracie.
Deeper Layer – Sadie rejects Lindsey’s input to sue and doesn’t need her help, leaving her more overwhelmed and abandoned, as it challenges her role within the family, especially when Gracie and Brooke withheld information and manipulated her.TURNING POINT
Lindsey PJ – Out of surgery and home. Lindsey is held up in bed, unable to do anything for weeks. Lindsey delves back into her mother’s journal. Lindsey finds her mother’s diary, learns much more about her mother and Sadie and their relationship.
Deeper Layer – Lindsey begins to understand the family dynamics and why it’s so dysfunctional. Lindsey’s attempt to gain back control.
Sadie AJ -Sadie is accepted into hospice, Brooke is the only one who knows. She makes a promise to her mother to help her die.
Deeper Layer – Brooke is trying to hold onto her dream of having a mother-daughter relationship.
Lindsey PJ – Lindsey has another dream. (DREAM – Lindsey is with the girls at the pool. Brooke asks a serious question to Lindsey. Would you love me no matter what? Even if I was an axe murderer? Brooke and Gracie were 14 at the time).
Deeper Layer – Brooke yearns for belonging and motherly love.
Sadie AJ – Hospice nurse shows up unexpectedly. Sadie is dressed well with all her jewelry on. Sadie gets informed that there is a doctor willing to do correctional surgery. Sadie takes the literature and burns it.
Deeper Layer – All she wants is more drugs and to plan her death on her terms.ACT 2
NEW PLAN –
Lindsey PJ – Lindsey reaches out to Sadie; she wants to make amends.
Sadie PJ – Sadie informs Lindsey that she is going into hospice, but it will be in-home care.
Deeper Layer – She is trying to prove that she is much sicker than everyone knows and there is no hope for her, she’s getting worse.
Lindsey PJ – This pushes Lindsey to her limits. Harsh words are exchanged. Lindsey begins to look up the laws of dying with dignity.
Deeper Layer – Sadie takes control over Brooke to become her caregiver, something Lindsey opposes. Her protective wings for Brooke come out.
Deeper Layer – Lindsey knows the difficulties of being a caregiver and the scars that will remain. Brooke’s old feelings of abandonment will surface, she’s trying to protect Brooke.
Brooke PJ – She meets with the hospice nurses. Brooke now supports her mother’s wishes.PLAN IN ACTION
Lindsey PJ -Lindsey returns to the journals with the hope she will find words of wisdom her mother might have shared with her daughters.
Deeper Layer – Lindsey is trying to manipulate Sadie to change her mind. Lindsey is deeply afraid of losing her sister and being the next matriarch, something she doesn’t want.
MIDPOINT TURNING POINT
Discoveries of manipulation and deceit by Sadie, particularly regarding her drug-seeking behavior push Lindsey to her limits, forcing her to bluntly oppose Sadie’s selfish and drastic choices
(* note come back and find location and scene)
Deeper Layer – Lindsey is holding on to old scars. 1. When Sadie and Lindsey were growing up their mother gave more attention to Sadie. Lindsey left feeling neglected and abandoned. 2. When their father and mother divorced, her father wanted nothing to do with Lindsey.ACT 3
RETINK EVERYTHING
Sadie AJ – Sadie plans a Christmas gathering and pays the way for the family. Her plan works. Lindsey hesitates but she and Gracie arrive days before the party. Lindsey brings one of the journals with her. Emma arrives in Oregon, much to Lindsey’s surprise.
Emma and Lindsey have a deep conversation. Lindsey shares some information.
Deeper Layer – Sadie proves to the family she is in control of her life and knows what she is doing.
Deeper Layer – Everyone believes this is when she will end her life, except Lindsey.NEW PLAN
Lindsey PJ – Lindsey shares the journal and diary with the family, their mother’s last wishes for all. A heart-wrenching moment. Lindsey voices her opinion, guessing that her day to die would be on Sadie’s birthday. Sadie gets pissed knowing that is her plan and leaves the room. Sadie starts in, taking heavier doses, trying to be funny, as she hands out the gifts. There is a note on each gift, “DO NOT OPEN UNTIL JANUARY 15th”, their mother’s birthday.
Deeper Layer – Sadie wants to be remembered for being the matriarch, her one last opportunity.
Deeper Layer – Lindsey lets everyone know she will not be the matriarch, hoping that Sarah’s words will change Sadie’s mind, but it backfires.MAJOR SHIFT
Lindsey PJ – Before Lindsey and Gracie return home, Sadie and Lindsey have a private conversation. Lindsey makes promises that she doesn’t believe she can live with.
(* find location with scene)
Sadie AJ – Sadie makes the decision to die on a given date, refuses to share it with the family. Mike and Brooke are told.
Deeper Layer – Sadie deals with her guilt and shame but it’s her only way of making Brooke feel she is important.ACT 4
Sadie PJ –Sadie’s drug use increases daily. Each day gets worse, she begins falling and passing out.
(* Several scenes between Brooke and Sadie, and calls to Gracie)
Deeper Layer – Sadie is testing out the drugs in various combinations to find what works the best.
Brooke PJ – Brooke calls Lindsey when Sadie has a serious fall. Asks her not to come, she can handle it.
Deeper Layer – Brooke is conflicted between her mother’s requests and her dependence and loyalty to Lindsey. She is afraid to help her mother die.
Gracie PJ – Gracie pleads for her mother to go be with Sadie and Brooke, but she refuses.
Deeper Layer – Gracie knows Brooke needs Lindsey to be with both. Lindsey is reluctant to help her die and faces the reality of her dying.
Brooke PJ – Calls Lindsey. She needs and wants her help A.S.A.P. “She’s calling me Lindsey, she thinks I’m you. She keeps calling out for you. Hurry and get here”.
Deeper Layer – Lindsey needed to know that she was wanted by Brooke.
Lindsey PJ – Packs up and flies to Oregon but the plane is delayed because of the fog and snow.
Deeper Layer – Feelings of guilt surface, she should have listened to Gracie.
CLIMAX
Sadie dies before Lindsey can reach her, leading to a deeply emotional reckoning for Lindsey, Brooke, and Gracie. They confront their guilt and grief, and the legacy left behind.
RESOLUTION
(* Need a heartfelt moment scene)
Brooke is heartbroken again and angry.
Brooke has Lindsey help her pack up the house but then stops and walks out of the house.
Deeper Layer – Lindsey knows what to pick and keep, knowing Brooke wants nothing from the estate. She boxes it up and ships it to Gracie. It’s a “someday” box meant for Brooke.
Emma arranges a Zoom meeting. Everyone opens their gift. Each gift holds a note just for them and an envelope of cash.NEW WAYS
Lindsey reads her note (from Sadie) explaining that she would hope that she hands over the role of matriarch to Emma and give her the car. More importantly, she wants her to go back to writing, the promise she made to both Sadie and her mother, Sarah. She is given a banker’s bag full of cash.
Deeper Layer – Sadie shows her love for Emma, wanting her to be a part of the family and not the best recluse she’s been.
Lindsey gets out the journals and begins to take notes, she begins to write a memoir, as she embraces her mother’s legacy of love and forgiveness.FINAL SCENE
In the sunset, Brooke, Gracie, and Lindsey all walk down to the beach. One by one the family joins them. Emma orchestrated the gathering to release both Sarah and Sadie’s ashes on the shores of Laguna Beach. Once done they all look to the hotel and have a toast to the memories they hold dear. -
Tom’s New Outline Beats!
Vision: I see myself logically stepping thru the story and fixing missing or redundant points.
Doing this assignment, I learned it’s easy to spot holes and redundant passages.Beginning to End
Moving front to back, I added three Deep Layers.Ending to Beginning
Added higher stakesPick Event, go both ways
Raised conflict among team -
WIM+AI – Module 4 – Lesson 4: Basic Plotting
Sylvia’s New Outline Beats!
My vision from this program is to challenge myself in my writing genre and write my most amazing script to date.
What I learned from doing this assignment is…inputting my prior assignments in the Acts/Areas they would fit and try not to over think them.Genre = Romantic Thriller
Concept = An artist's unexpected reunion with her first love reveals mutual passion that turns to sinister betrayal leading to a crises that unravels her life.
4-Act Structure =
Act 1:
Opening:
Hope Harwood, a successful artist, is numb and emotionally disconnected from her life, her work, her marriage to Will, and her creative process. Her latest art exhibit, full of older successful works, symbolizes her creative stagnation and entrapment. The cold, distant nature of her marriage to Will subtly suggests something is wrong, but she’s too emotionally drained to confront it. A growing sense of unease underscores her life. She’s trapped in her past achievements and a loveless marriage suppressing her true desires.
• HOPE PJ: Beginning:
Hope is emotionally disconnected from her art, her marriage, and herself. She feels trapped by her past success and an unfulfilling marriage to Will, carrying guilt for not loving him despite respecting him. Her creative energy is blocked by unresolved feelings for Joy, her first love, who represents both nostalgia and unhealed wounds.
• JOY AJ: Beginning:
Joy is full of life, charming, and magnetic, returning to Hope’s life as a potential savior and catalyst for her creative rebirth. Beneath her vibrant facade, however, Joy is manipulative, driven by her own ambition, and sees Hope as a means to an end.
• WILL AJ-2: Beginning:
Will is emotionally unavailable, neglecting his marriage to Hope while carrying on an affair with her brother, Michael. He avoids responsibility and confrontation, preferring to maintain a polished facade rather than face his internal demons or acknowledge the disintegration of his marriage.
Inciting Incident:
A mysterious fire breaks out at the gallery, damaging some of Hope’s older works. The fire appears accidental, but there’s a lingering suspicion— it seems too perfectly timed to push her into action. An art dealer presses Hope to create new art to cover the damages, adding pressure to her already stagnant creativity. She starts questioning the strange circumstances of the fire. Is someone deliberately trying to ruin her? Unbeknownst to her, Will and Joy are working together behind the scenes, manipulating this situation for their own purposes.Turning Point:
Amid this tension, Hope discovers Will’s affair with her brother, Michael. This revelation shatters her emotionally, driving her into a crisis. During this time, she reconnects with Joy, her first love, who offers Hope comfort and understanding. The chemistry between them reignites instantly rekindling unresolved feelings and passion, pulling Hope back into unresolved passions from her past and deeper into a web of deceit. As Hope’s life unravels, she sees Joy as her escape from her failing marriage, though danger lurks beneath the surface of their reunion. Her passion is reignited with unresolved feelings and complicating her already fragile emotional state. Joy and Will exploit Hope’s emotional vulnerability and her art for their own gain.
• HOPE PJ: Turning Point:
The discovery of Will's affair with her brother, Michael, shakes her emotional foundation. This personal betrayal pushes Hope to reconnect with Joy, seeing her as a potential escape and source of creative inspiration. She starts to believe Joy could reignite her passion for art and life.
• JOY AJ: Turning Point:
Joy successfully seduces Hope emotionally and professionally, convincing her to rely on Joy for validation and inspiration. She starts subtly taking credit for Hope’s work, positioning herself as an artistic visionary, using Hope’s talent to further her own career.
• WILL AJ-2: Turning Point:
When Hope discovers his affair, Will is forced to confront his double life. However, rather than taking responsibility, he distances himself further, allowing Joy to manipulate Hope. Will remains passive, letting the chaos of his affair and failing marriage play out.
Act 2:
New Plan:
Joy encourages Hope to create new work and revive her art career, offering support and seduction. Hope, smitten and inspired, begins to focus on her art again, using Joy's validation as fuel to escape her emotional turmoil. Hope sees Joy as a savior, offering her a chance to revive her creativity and escape her troubled marriage. Will is emotionally unavailable. He lets Hope do as she wishes and remains passive.However, Joy’s influence over Hope begins to grow subtly insidious. Joy encourages Hope to break free from her doubts and embrace her creative potential, but Hope is blind to the fact that Joy is manipulating her emotions for her own gain. Will, detached, is deliberately avoiding confrontation, but there’s a lurking sense of his ulterior motives, adding suspense to the marital dynamic. Joy and Will are secretly plotting to control Hope’s career and assets. Will remains passive, but he and Joy subtly manipulate Hope’s insecurities, isolating her emotionally and financially.
Plan in Action:
As Hope begins to create again, she and Joy grow closer—personally and professionally. Their relationship deepens into a romantic affair, but the lines between love and manipulation blur. Joy starts to position herself as more than just a muse—she wants credit for Hope’s work. Unbeknownst to Hope, Joy begins a takeover, subtly crediting herself for Hope’s creativity, while positioning Hope as emotionally unstable. This deceit sets the stage for future betrayals. Joy begins taking credit for Hope’s artistic vision while positioning herself as a rising star in the art world. She takes subtle credit for Hope’s work, positioning herself as the visionary behind Hope’s artistic success. This professional power dynamic begins to shift, as Joy becomes the face of their collaboration. Will remains absent, avoiding any confrontation with Hope. Will, though emotionally distant, helps Joy from behind the scenes, orchestrating events that further destabilize Hope’s confidence. Hope remains unaware that the two closest people in her life are conspiring against her.Midpoint Turning Point:
Hope catches Will and Michael in bed together, confirming her suspicions and deepening her despair. Around this time, Joy reveals that she’s facing financial ruin and pressures Hope to let her take credit for some of Hope’s newer works to boost Joy’s reputation. Feeling guilty and confused, Hope agrees. The stakes rise as Joy continues to emotionally manipulate Hope, pushing her toward isolation. This marks the turning point where Hope is trapped between two betrayals—Will’s infidelity and Joy’s exploitation. Meanwhile, Will and Joy’s secret partnership becomes clearer to the audience—Will is financially tied to Joy’s success, and they both stand to gain from Hope’s downfall.
• HOPE PJ: Midpoint:
Joy manipulates Hope into sharing her art under Joy’s name, exploiting Hope’s emotions. Hope begins to realize that Joy's influence is both uplifting and toxic. Meanwhile, Will's infidelity becomes undeniable. Hope is caught between two betrayals—one emotional (Will) and one professional (Joy).
• JOY AJ: Midpoint:
Joy’s financial troubles are revealed, and she pushes Hope into letting her take full control of Hope’s artistic output. She rationalizes her actions by exploiting Hope’s vulnerabilities, ensuring that Hope feels indebted to her and unable to break free.
• WILL AJ-2: Midpoint:
As Hope and Joy’s relationship intensifies, Will retreats further. He begins divorce proceedings, aiming to secure as much as possible from the marriage financially, using his relationship with Michael as emotional support.
Act 3:
Rethink Everything:
The tension escalates as Joy’s manipulations become more overt. Hope begins to see through the deception, realizing Joy is using her for both emotional and professional gain. She doesn’t yet know Will is also involved. Joy’s rise in the art world intensifies, with the media praising her as a visionary. Joy continues to exploit Hope’s creativity, presenting herself as the genius behind the work while subtly discrediting Hope. Will, emboldened by his secret alliance with Joy and his affair with Michael, moves forward with divorce proceedings, aiming to strip Hope of her assets, including her artwork. Meanwhile, Hope is sidelined, struggling to maintain her own identity. Will begins divorce proceedings, seeking to take control of their shared assets, including her artwork, increasing Hope’s desperation.New Plan:
Hope tries to reclaim her art and identity but feels trapped and powerless by Joy’s growing influence and Will’s legal claims. Will, now emboldened by his relationship with Michael, files for divorce, taking a substantial portion of Hope’s assets. The art world, enamored by Joy, largely dismisses Hope, who is seen as yesterday’s news. Faced with personal and professional ruin, on the verge of losing everything—her creative legacy, her financial security, and her personal freedom. Tension mounts as Hope realizes the full scope of their betrayal but struggles to find a way out. Faced with financial ruin and artistic erasure, she contemplates walking away from everything but knows she must fight back to regain her life, dignity and career.Turning Point: Huge Failure / Major Shift:
Hope’s worst fears are realized when Joy fully eclipses her in the art world. Joy takes over Hope’s artistic identity and her persona. Joy becomes the newest star in the art world—claiming Hope’s work. Hope is sidelined, her name and contributions erased. Will’s divorce proceedings leave Hope financially devastated, and she has lost everything—her creative legacy, her marriage, and her reputation. Will’s divorce proceedings will leave Hope with almost nothing, both emotionally and financially. The betrayal becomes complete when Hope learns that Joy orchestrated the gallery fire to force Hope back into the spotlight, but under Joy’s control. Furthermore, Will and Joy were previously married. She hits rock bottom in ruin and disgust.
• HOPE PJ: Turning Point:
Hope starts to see the full scope of Joy’s manipulation when Joy begins to take full credit for her work, eclipsing Hope in the art world. Hope feels her personal identity and artistic legacy are being stolen from her, and Will’s divorce proceedings further destabilize her life.
• HOPE PJ: Dilemma:
Hope faces a choice: confront Joy and Will at great personal and professional risk, or walk away and let her identity, art, and reputation be erased. Both options seem like losing propositions, but one path offers the chance to reclaim her true self.
• JOY AJ: Turning Point:
As Hope starts to pull away, recognizing the manipulations, Joy doubles down. She begins publicly taking credit for Hope’s work, trying to fully erase Hope from the narrative. Joy’s need for power and recognition outweighs her personal feelings for Hope.
• JOY AJ: Dilemma:
When Hope threatens to expose her, Joy faces the risk of losing her entire career. She must either continue the deceit, risking everything if caught, or back down and admit her fraud. Both choices jeopardize her carefully constructed persona.
• WILL AJ-2: Turning Point:
Will becomes more aggressive as he realizes he is losing control over both Hope and Michael. He pushes for a divorce settlement that would leave Hope with little, seeking to capitalize on her weakened position.
• Dilemma:
Will must choose between continuing to manipulate Hope for financial gain or stepping back from the chaos of their relationship. His affair with Michael complicates things further, as he risks losing everything if exposed.• The Art Dealer’s Secret Investment:
The art dealer who pressured Hope to create new work after the fire is secretly working with Joy. He had invested heavily in Joy’s rise to fame and engineered the gallery fire to push Hope into creating new art that Joy could claim. This adds an additional layer of external manipulation to Hope's already tumultuous life. This gives Hope the spark she needs to fight back!
Act 4:
Climax/Ultimate Expression of the Conflict:
Determined to reclaim her identity, Hope gathers evidence of Joy’s theft. She hires a lawyer and sues Joy for copyright infringement and fraud. She exposes Joy’s theft using forensic evidence that reveals Hope’s hidden signature under the layers of paint on every piece Joy claimed as her own. Joy, in a last-ditch effort, uses her connections and influence to discredit Hope, accusing her of lying and trying to destroy her career out of jealousy. Feeling cornered, Joy tries to discredit Hope, painting her as mentally unstable and vindictive, using personal details from their romantic past against her.The courtroom drama reaches a fever pitch as Joy’s lies begin to unravel under cross-examination. Tension builds as Joy tries one last desperate attempt to manipulate the narrative, but Hope’s resolve holds firm. With mounting evidence, including testimony from gallery insiders and art experts, Hope triumphs in court, exposing Joy as a fraud.
The situation takes a sharp turn when Hope learns the devastating truth: Will and Joy have been working together from the start. This revelation shatters her emotionally, but it also leads to the beginning of their downfall. In a thrilling courtroom showdown, Joy and Will’s partnership crumbles as they begin blaming each other to avoid personal ruin. The truth of their manipulations comes to light—Joy’s theft of Hope’s work and Will’s financial betrayal. As their alliance disintegrates, they each try to save themselves, but the evidence against them is overwhelming. Joy, growing greedy, starts positioning herself to cut Will out of the picture, seeking to claim everything for herself. The tension between them grows as they realize there isn’t enough to share between them. The partnership fractures, and the two begin turning against each other, each trying to outmaneuver the other. As their alliance disintegrates, they each try to save themselves, but the evidence against them is overwhelming.
Will’s Covert Role in Joy’s Scheme:
Will's role in helping Joy is more active and strategic than initially thought. It is revealed that Will had been aiding Joy in sabotaging Hope from the shadows in exchange for financial gain, knowing that he would likely lose most of his assets in the divorce. This betrayal deepens Hope’s feelings of being used by everyone around her.
In this final battle, Hope publicly reclaims her identity as the true artist behind the work. This public confrontation is cathartic, as Hope reclaims her identity, both as an artist and as a person. Joy’s deception is revealed, and her career collapses. Will, seeing that he cannot manipulate Hope anymore retreats defeated. He agrees to a divorce settlement that allows Hope to retain her assets.
• Major Conflict:
Hope fights back in court, using forensic evidence to reveal that the art Joy claimed is hers. The courtroom battle is a symbolic and literal reclaiming of her identity, as Hope exposes Joy’s deception.
• Hope's Subconscious Sabotage:
A deeper layer is uncovered when it is revealed that Hope’s creative block and her tolerance of Joy’s manipulations stem from a subconscious guilt about her own past choices. She has been sabotaging herself as a way of atoning for past wrongs she committed against Joy, such as leaving her without closure in high school.
• JOY AJ: Major Conflict:
In court, Joy’s lies and manipulations are exposed. She tries to discredit Hope, using her connections in the art world, but as the evidence mounts, her credibility and career begin to crumble. The conflict escalates as Joy loses control of the narrative.
• Joy's Revenge Plan from the Start:
It's revealed that Joy's reappearance in Hope's life wasn't a coincidence. From the beginning, Joy had been plotting her revenge on both Hope and Will for betraying her in the past. Her endgame is not only to steal Hope’s art but to also publicly humiliate Will for breaking off their engagement in college, which she never got over.• WILL AJ-2: Major Conflict:
In the courtroom, Will’s manipulations and avoidance are revealed, and he is forced to confront the consequences of his actions. His affair and legal maneuvers are exposed, weakening his position in the divorce.• Michael’s Double-Cross:
Michael, Hope’s brother, initially seems to be complicit in Will’s affair, but a deeper layer reveals that he has been secretly working to expose both Will and Joy. He is trying to protect Hope, driven by guilt for the affair, but his plan spirals out of control when he underestimates Joy’s ruthlessness.
Resolution:
Hope wins her legal battle, reclaiming her name, legacy, her art, and her financial security. She divorces Will, retains her assets, and severs ties with both Joy and the toxic elements of her past. Joy’s career is destroyed, and Will is left with nothing after their toxic partnership implodes. Michael is out of the picture as he helps his sister. She leaves the city to reinvent herself in a new life, free from the emotional and creative oppression she endured. Empowered by her victory, Hope experiences a creative rebirth, inspiration and peace ready to begin anew on her own terms. Hope experiences a creative resurgence, this time unburdened by the emotional baggage of her past.HOPE PJ: Ending:
Hope reclaims her art, her name, and her life. She triumphs over both Joy and Will, divorcing the latter and severing ties with the former. Free from the toxic relationships that once defined her, Hope starts a new chapter, personally and creatively reborn.
• JOY AJ: Ending:
Joy loses her reputation, career, and influence. Once the dominant figure in Hope’s life, she is now a disgraced fraud, her manipulation and deceit laid bare. She fades into obscurity as Hope reclaims her identity and triumphs.
• WILL AJ-2: Ending:
Will retreats, defeated. He agrees to a divorce settlement on Hope’s terms, realizing that he cannot maintain control over her. He loses both his marriage and his influence, and Hope moves on without him.-
This reply was modified 7 months, 1 week ago by Sylvia Krawczyk.
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