Screenwriting Mastery › Forums › Creating Terrifying Horror Scripts › Horror 31 › Lesson 11
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Lesson 11
Posted by cheryl croasmun on July 15, 2024 at 5:51 amReply to post your assignment.
Selma Ahmed replied 8 months, 1 week ago 4 Members · 3 Replies -
3 Replies
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Aaron’s Level 2 Horror Emotion Scene
What I learned doing this assignment was… I feel like all these scenes need more to them. Maybe the point is to just get them on paper first. I’m relying on this “three horror” thing across several scenes. Maybe that’s wrong. This is kind of the first two, and then they go to the train station.
INT – HUNTER’S FRIEND’S HOSPITAL ROOM – DAY
The HUNTER leans forward in a chair by the window, looking for any sign of movement from his FRIEND, who is in a coma, lying on a hospital bed.
HUNTER
He was screaming before I even saw it.DEVELOPER
What did it look like?He’s being re-traumatized, digging this up –
HUNTER
I- I couldn’t really tell. It seemed to – change.ASSISTANT
Change?HUNTER
Like, it was this fuzzy seven foot tall person, like old too. Like a big old person.ASSISTANT
Fuzzy?HUNTER
Yeah. Like it was out of focus.ASSISTANT
Like a movie? OrHUNTER
It didn’t have any defined lines. I thought at first I was hallucinating, but then I realized we were both seeing it.The three slowly look at the FRIEND.
ASSISTANT
Do you know – exactly – where in the park it was?DEVELOPER
What gate did you come in?HUNTER
We came in by Station Gate. We knew were were in trouble almost as soon as we went through.DEVELOPER
Did you make it to the station?HUNTER
That’s just it. It wasn’t there.ASSISTANT
What do you mean it wasn’t there?Talk of the station jars the HUNTER’s memory – he pats the front of his pants, feels a jab, fishes inside his pocket – it’s a KEYRING. He holds it out to the DEVELOPER.
HUNTER
Oh, I found these on the way in –The developer leans in, takes the keys. Puzzled.
DEVELOPER
These are the train station keys. How did you get them?HUNTER
They were off the road in a bare patch of sand, where we thought the train station was. We thought maybe you removed it.DEVELOPER
(sharply)
No we didn’t remove it. Why would we remove it?HUNTER
(cowed)
I don’t know. I guess we thought maybe it didn’t fit in with your plans. Anyway, I didn’t give the keys much thought until now, just figured someone might have lost them so I picked them up.ASSISTANT
Where the station was?HUNTER
Yeah.
(pause)
And then we heard a scream. Some kind of … ungodly scream. Far off, we thought to the north. Just one scream. We stopped to listen, but everything was quiet. That’s when we decided to just leave.ASSISTANT
You didn’t think someone might need help?HUNTER
I don’t know. I think by that point we were just thinking maybe we should just get back to the truck. I sort of convinced myself I hadn’t heard what I heard. But really, we were just freaked out. Neither one of us wanted to go any deeper into the park.DEVELOPER
Wait – the Chief said he picked you up at the South Gate. Why didn’t you just go back to the Central Gate?HUNTER
We did. We did go back to Central.The developer and assistant look at each other – this guy is messed up.
DEVELOPER
Well. I don’t know how you got turned around so badly.Getting on with it.
DEVELOPER
You said it changed?HUNTER
It’s almost like it was trying to decide… what it wanted to be.
(pause)
And that’s when I shot it.The assistant has heard enough – he gets up.
ASSISTANT
Well, we’re headed to the park right now. We’ll see if the train station is there. Thank you for the keys.Why is he leaving now? We don’t have the whole story.
DEVELOPER
Wha –ASSISTANT
I need to talk to you in the hallway please.INT – HOSPITAL HALLWAY – DAY
Just outside the door, the assistant pulls the developer to his side and whispers quietly.
ASSISTANT
If we’re going, we need to go now. I think it’s probably a good idea for us to look into this in the daylight.DEVELOPER
The train station?ASSISTANT
Or… not the train station. -
Lesson 11 – Hiram Level 2 Horror emotions
What I learned is just to write the scene, clean it up, and put through the feedback, Take the feedback and do a few rewrites, it is a good way to have good scenes that fit the story and have an emotional impact. It is leading to a first draft.
EXT – Monastery – Late Afternoon
A dark and dreary silent monastery with a rule of complete silence for the seven monks who live there. They are seen going about their usual daily activities.
INT THE CHAPEL – CONTINUOUS
Brother Mathias, the main monk in charge, is on his knees praying..EXT. COURTYARD & GARDEN – CONTINOUS
Brother Silas: A young monk haunted by guilt, is frantically doing his rosasy in front of a statue of Christ.
IN THE GARDEN
Brother Banner: A herbalist gifted with a quiet strength and unwavering faith, is enjoying a peaceful afternoon tending his vegetables and flowers.
ON THE WALKWAY .
Brother Corvus: An aged monk with arthritic hands is sweeping with an old broom. He has a scowl on his face and looks with contempt at his fellow monks.
IN A SECULED CORNER OF COURTYARD
Brother Peyton: A skilled sculptor, his hands now forming an abstract shape of artistic expression. He is full of himself and pretentious showing great pride in his work.
ENTERING THROUGH A DOORWAY
Brother Richard: An unhappy man, groans and moans that reveal his attitude towards the other monks. He is the cook and is bringing in groceries from a truck parked outside the garden wall.
He carries groceries inside the kitchen where he can be seen through large windows as ne moves around inside.
Their quiet, peaceful afternoon is broken by a loud, continues pounding coming from the room of another monk. He’s screams echo around the garden.
Each monk reacts to the screaming in a different way.
AT THE STATUE
Silas panics and silently recites his rosary quicker, moving the beads frantically, almost bursting into tears of dread.
IN THE GARDEN
Banner stop weeding, stands, looks towards where the screams are coming and shakes his head and rolls his eyes then goes back to weeding.
AT THE WALKWAY
Corvas stops his sweeping, spits
Richard comes to the door of the kitchen, concerned, he drops his vow of silence.
RICHARD
Shouldn’t we…?
Corvus quickly yells at him.
CORVAS
Silence!
Peyton distracted out of his creative trance, over-reacts in rage and smashes his sculpture to a lump of clay.
PEYTON
This noise! Ruined!FROM THE CHAPEL
Mathias rushes in. His keys jangling at his side make the an annoying sound.
MATHIAS
Brother Tanner! What’s wrong?
He and opens the door.
The screaming monk BROTHER TANNER,, his face and hands bloody from his banging them on the door, stumbles out still screaming. His bloody face twisted in terror, he races past Mathias straight into the courtyard and throws himself down the ancient well.
A LOUD SPLASH!
All the monks react with a gasp in shock and horror.
They stand stunned glaring at the well. No one says a word. -
Selma: Level 2 Horror Emotion scene.
I am really sorry to be late…my husband had a motorcycle accident…
What I have learned…
It was really difficult to get back into the work as I lost the momentum but working through the three emotions gave the scene clarity – and focus. I really hope that you will read this!
INT: GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Angel shuffles tarot cards.
TONY
This is fucking ridiculous!
ANGEL
(panic)
Sh! You don’t understand what we’re messing with.
TONY
Your fucking nuts!
Angel picks out a card, GASPS.
The “Devil” card is revealed, and DARKNESS: a power cut.
TONY
That’s all we need.
Tony takes phone out of his pocket, no signal.
TONY
FUCK!
GRANDMOTHER
You need your mouth washed out with soap. Stop with your swearing and get the lights on, will you?
Tearful Martha enters with a lit candle, lights more candles.
GRANDMOTHER
Give me a candle.
MARTHA
It’s dangerous.
Places candle on table next to her, continues to light candles.
Grandmother takes the candle.
ANGEL
Don’t you see —
MANY VOICES WHISPERING can be heard. Everyone freezes.
Jenny looks out of the window: lights flicker on Pendle hill. Suddenly…
Elizabeth SCREAMS, her horrific face is in full view out side of the window.
Jenny SCREAMS in terror, backs into Tony’s arms. He looks out of the window. Nothing. Pendle Hill is dark.
ANGEL
What did you see?
KNOCKING at the door.
ANGEL
(whisper)
Don’t open it!
BANGING at the door.
GRANDMOTHER
I’ve had enough of these pranks. I’M CALLING THE POLICE.
Wheels herself to the front door.
ANGEL
No, don’t!
GRANDMOTHER
Your sacked!
Grandmother opens the door.
A cloaked figure stands at the door, a foot away.
GRANDMOTHER
Who are you? What do you want?
The figure stands.
GRANDMOTHER
Get off my property.
Everyone watches as she wheels herself forward.
GRANDMOTHER
I know you…
The candle falls on her blanket, she is in flames.
Grandmother screams in agony, Tony, Martha, Angel try to stop the fire but it is too fast, too powerful, the cloaked figure disappears in the smoke.
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